People Are Concerned About Our Remarks On Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
35. AITJ For Telling A Woman She's Not My Husband's Best Friend?
“My husband has one of those female friends, I’ll call her Sarah. She and I get along fine, but every once in a while she’ll make a comment or sit a little too close or touch him a lot, or compete with me on how close they are, or how well she knows him.
She’s one of a big group of about 11 friends. I’ve talked to my husband about her several times but it’s so many added-up micro-actions that it’s hard to tell her off for one singular thing without looking crazy.
Well, this past weekend, the group of friends got together for the first time in a while.
My husband and I eloped a few weeks ago and this was the first time most were seeing us since. Sarah came right up and got in our faces as the group was congratulating us to tell my husband how disappointed she was in him for not telling her about our ceremony, not inviting her, and not even sending her a photo.
He told her nobody except our parents knew, nobody was invited, and we don’t have our professional photos back.
This girl started SOBBING. How could he do this to her when she wanted him to be her Man of Honor when she gets married (she’s single), and he didn’t even invite her to his, and their friendship now ‘needed some serious tender loving care to recover’.
This is in front of a whole group. I couldn’t take it anymore and said ‘He might be your best friend, but you’re not his, and this was between ME and HIM, you were not even a consideration.’
There were some frosty ‘ooos’ from the crowd and she left the house.
The crowd is split. They were all my husband’s friends before I came into the picture and some think it was uncalled for and that I should’ve just let my husband handle it. I was mad at the moment but now I don’t know.
Too far?”
34. AITJ For Telling My Mother-In-Law To Be Nice To Me If She Wants To See My Son Again?
“Evan (29M) and I (27F) have a son together. We met in 2019 when he was studying abroad in my country and started sleeping together. We have a great relationship but we were never a couple. When I realized that I was pregnant it was too late to terminate it.
He wasn’t interested in being a full-time father but he wanted to still be present. We decided that I would be the one raising him but he was still going to be in the picture.
He left during the middle of my pregnancy and came back a few months before I gave birth and stayed a few months after.
For the next year, it was mainly me raising Axel. Evan came when he was able to but between his studies (he is working on his ph.d) and the global crisis, it was hard. We were having video calls almost every day.
Now the issue: Evan told his family that he had a son on Axel’s first birthday, October 2021. Since then they asked to see him.
His family wanted Axel for Christmas. I was already doing it with my family and I refused to change my plans.
I became the bad guy because I denied them their grandson/nephew.
It was then decided that I would come to their family house with Axel to meet the family. Before I arrived I was already criticized because I refused to sleep in the family home for 2 weeks.
I took an Airbnb for me, Axel, and Evan.
I arrived this Monday and honestly, it’s been awful since then.
First of all, I don’t speak their language very well but I am learning. Evan and I speak English together.
He tries to translate but they don’t wait for him to translate or for my answer so I am set aside.
When we arrived on Monday Evan’s mom started screaming when she saw Axel and tried to take him from my arms, he got scared and started crying and I refused to give him to her.
Evan asked her to back off but she refused saying that she was his grandma. After that she, Evan’s aunt, and grandma started criticizing everything: I do not know how to carry him, I don’t feed him well, I am too nice with him, not strict enough… Evan asked them to stop but they refused.
Yesterday night he could see that I was stressed and he proposed to leave and just go the 3 of us on vacation. I refused because I know that he was happy to introduce Axel to his siblings and cousins.
Now because of all that today I was not in a good mood and I did not make efforts to talk to my Mil and the aunts.
So during lunch, Evan’s mom told me ‘You know if you want to be a part of this family you better start being nice to me otherwise you won’t be welcome anymore just Axel ‘. After that I got mad and said ‘and you better be nice to me if you want to see your grandson again’.
I got up, took Axel, and left. Evan came one hour later to the Bnb and told me that I was right but I know that his family wants me to apologize for being rude and they were mad at me.
I feel that maybe I overreacted and went too far.”
33. AITJ For Telling My Sister I'm Grossed Out By The Way She Cooks?
“My (42F) sister (35F) has always prided herself on being a perfect housewife. She has two kids in middle school and stays home taking care of them and her five dogs. Her husband is the breadwinner of the family so she focuses on chores, cooking, child care, etc. The one thing my sister prides herself on the most is her cooking.
She’s always experimenting with new dishes and loves cooking for other people. The issue is, not only is she not as good as she thinks, but she is also extremely unhygienic. She always has her (very long) hair down, never washes her hands, and lets her dogs in the kitchen, you get the point.
Our family often tells her how great her cooking is but I just can’t stomach it knowing how she cooks. I’ll always make an excuse when invited over like I’m too busy or I’m not hungry, which usually works as I do work a very tiring job.
Last night I was invited over to dinner to celebrate her husband’s promotion and it was one of the times I couldn’t refuse. The kitchen and dining room are open so I could see everything she was doing from my spot at the table.
Not only was her hair down and she was cooking in a very large knit sweater, but I also watched her stick her fingers in pans then lick them and pick up her dachshund and carry him around the kitchen.
At one point she even set the dog on the counter with the cutting board so she could grab something and he took advantage to start eating the hamburger meat that was laying out. I was so disgusted I had to try hard not to gag.
Obviously, I didn’t eat during dinner and just tried to make small talk but of course, she noticed. When asked why I wasn’t eating I tried to make excuses like I wasn’t hungry before giving in and saying I was grossed out by the way she cooks.
I said as calmly as I could that she was unhygienic and I didn’t want to risk eating food with hair in it or that she stuck her unwashed fingers in. Well, my sister was shocked and burst into tears right then and there.
She told me she worked extremely hard on these meals and that I was being insensitive. She even went as far as to say I was just jealous because I didn’t have a family to cook for since I’m single with no kids.
I told her to get over herself, said I would never eat her gross food, and left.
She and her husband have been texting me all night calling me a jerk. They said I was being dramatic about the food and I really hurt her feelings, there was no hair in it and it tasted fine but how would I know because I didn’t even give her a chance?
I feel bad that I hurt her feelings but she asked why I wasn’t eating and I told her the truth. AITJ for being honest?
Edit: For clarification, it was just me, her, and her husband at dinner, not the whole family.”
32. AITJ For Not Wanting My Daughter To Share A Room With Her Classmate With Autism And Severe Anxiety?
“I (35f) have four kids (10F, 6M, 4F, and 1F).
Our eldest, ‘Izzy’ is 10. She is a doll. My son, ‘Luke’ has autism and ADHD and while lovable, can be a bit of a handful at times. Therefore, Izzy is witness to both the fun and not-so-fun parts of neurodiversity and has developed saintly patience and a knack for helping special needs kids with a sense of maturity beyond her years.
Particularly notable is her kindness to ‘Maisy’, a girl in her class with autism and severe anxiety, which has worsened as a result of the tumult of the last few years. Izzy’s help to Maisy has been brought to my attention before and I am a super proud mama.
Next weekend, the school is taking my daughter’s class on a trip, and on Thursday, Izzy’s teacher asked her to be in a room with Maisy, saying it would make Maisy happy (Maisy has intense separation anxiety and has never been away from home before) but framing it as a choice.
Always obedient and wanting to do good by her teachers, Izzy agreed but came home crying saying that she didn’t want to be with Maisy because she wanted a break from having to ‘be stressed so others can be happy’.
This made my heart break, and I know more than anyone that my daughter deserves a chance to be a kid, as during the global crisis, she didn’t have her usual outlets of sports clubs and had to spend a lot of time with a cranky Luke whose routine had been destroyed and a toddler who was very excited to have her big sis at home.
While my husband and I always tried to do 1:1 activities, it admittedly got harder once his furlough ended and I unexpectedly got pregnant with our youngest. Luke also found the baby difficult sensory-wise, so whichever parent wasn’t tending to the baby often had to be elsewhere with Luke meaning not as much attention was on Izzy as we would have liked.
I feel so bad that my daughter has had a rough ride, and frankly want to give her a chance to be a little girl instead of an adult. I contacted her teacher, who is aware of the situation with Luke, who agreed that letting Izzy have a break would be a good thing.
Today the school spoke to Maisy’s mum, informing her of Maisy’s room on the trip. I know the girls in the room and they are lovely but she was clearly unhappy. She asked me to ask Izzy again. When I said that it was her choice and I have to respect it, she went on a tirade about how I was bringing Izzy up to be intolerant, how Maisy will feel that Izzy has abandoned her, and how I would feel if it is my son.
She is now considering pulling Maisy out of the trip as she feels she would not cope with her separation anxiety without Izzy.
My husband thinks that it is the school and Maisy’s mum’s job, not Izzy’s, to accommodate her, but her comments are ringing in my head.
After all, I am not just Izzy’s mum, but also Luke’s, and as much as I worry about her missing out, I worry about him being isolated too. I know exactly how Maisy’s mum feels, and how much it sucks, yet am not doing the one thing to alleviate her pain.
AITJ?”
31. AITJ For Taking My Brother's Birthday Cupcakes?
“My brother, ‘Rob,’ is a self-proclaimed prankster. He loves pulling pranks on everyone, including strangers. His pranks, in my opinion, aren’t funny and may land him in serious trouble in the future.
His ‘pranks’ are just antagonizing someone until he gets bored and then calling it a ‘prank.’ Rob’s behavior has seriously affected my relationship with him. When I first started going out with my wife, ‘Halle,’ he made it a habit at every gathering I would attend with her to prank her; not just an average whoopee cushion or a rubber snake, like hiding her glasses for hours on end, or pouring vinegar in her tea.
He claims he does it to make Halle ‘less posh and uptight.’ My family is like him as well, a bunch of self-proclaimed jokesters. I don’t speak to them much.
My wife, ‘Halle,’ gave birth to our beautiful son 6 months ago.
According to my family, we’ve been ‘rationing our family visits,’ (The first time they saw our son was when he was 4 months, and they haven’t seen him since.) My family isn’t very happy with this arrangement and they’ve been spamming me with calls, texts – and even emails asking (begging) to see the baby.
They want weekly or even daily visits, but that just isn’t possible.
Rob invited us for his 30th birthday and asked Halle to make his birthday cake. Not just any basic, simple vanilla cake, but one of those fancy, detailed, decorated cakes that require lots of time and effort.
I was hesitant to go (and even more hesitant to let Halle make the cake,) but Halle assured me that it would be alright and attending the birthday might ease my family off our back. Rob paid her upfront for the cake that he specifically wanted. Halle also made cupcakes, just because she wanted to.
Halle and I arrived at my brother’s house earlier than everyone else and when everyone arrived, I was pleasantly surprised with how well the whole thing was going. They were very excited to meet my son and they were very respectful towards Halle.
Rob kept telling Halle to ‘watch her back.’
I had no idea he meant it literally.
While my wife was handling the cake, he came up behind her and poured cold water on her body. This obviously scared her a little and caused her to drop the cake.
Rob got extremely mad, claiming that she ‘dropped the cake on purpose.’ Halle started to apologize for dropping the cake while soaking wet, but I wasn’t having any of it and I admittedly lost my temper a little.
I yelled at Rob for being irresponsible and irrational, grabbed the cupcakes that Halle had made (which were untouched), and left with my family. It was a little dramatic.
The next day, I woke up to a string of angry texts from Rob, telling me I had no right to take the cupcakes away from him because he had rightfully paid for them and this wouldn’t have happened if ‘Halle could handle a little cold water.’
Halle thinks that I should at least apologize in the hopes that it would make everything go away.”
30. AITJ For Making A Social Media Post That Says My Son Is Named After My Father?
“I gave birth to my first son, my little boy, a month ago. We chose his name early in my pregnancy but kept it to ourselves until after he was born so nobody could try to talk us out of it or get their opinion heard on the name beforehand.
His first name was my dad’s middle name. A name my dad preferred and would have liked to be called but his parents were strict on using his first name and my dad just kinda accepted the fact he would always hate his name and prefer to be called his middle.
He died when I was 7 and I still remember us talking about his name. So when I found out we were expecting, my husband and I talked it over and agreed on the name, which is gender-neutral, as a perfect honor for our child.
My mom has been married to my stepdad since I was 11. They have children together and he has kids with his ex-wife as well. But he always considered me his adopted daughter even though I turned down the chance to be adopted by him.
When he saw my social media post with my son’s name he told me he was upset.
In the post, I said my son was given a name that honors his granddad, my beloved dad. And my stepdad was upset that I had failed to mention him.
He said the post reads like I don’t have a dad and my son doesn’t have a grandpa. I told him I never said those words. Though I would consider it true that I don’t have another dad. I told him he’s my stepdad and that for me his place in my life is very different than my dad’s.
He told me the post was insensitive and I didn’t need to make a big song and dance about how special the name is to me.
AITJ for the post?”
29. AITJ For Not Wanting My Sister To See My Daughter Again?
“I (36M) got married 12 years ago and my wife and I have a daughter (Rebecca, 10F). My sister (Lindsey) never really liked my wife and I had to put some strong boundaries in place.
It was not a good time and Lindsey really hated my wife more since she said I was choosing my wife over family.
Well, two months ago my wife’s father got really sick and after a long talk, we decided that she will go take care of him until he passes away.
(That’s the last of her family). We thought he would move in with us but he wanted to go to his home. So my wife packed her stuff and fly across the country to him and is his full-time caretaker.
He probably has a month or two more.
When Lindsey heard about this, she made a comment at dinner when Rebecca was at the table that my wife has abandoned her. This was the last straw and I went no contact with her.
Rebecca really loves her Aunt though and it’s been hard. Rebecca wants to hang out with her Aunt and I have refused to let her.
I work from home and yesterday around lunchtime I can’t find her. There is a note in her room saying she went to have lunch with Lindsey.
I was furious and tracked Rebecca’s phone (the first time that has ever happened) and they were at the restaurant. I get there as fast as possible and grabbed my kid. I told Lindsey she will never see my daughter again.
This started an argument and I literally walked out halfway through.
Rebecca the whole time was crying and I asked for her phone. She gave it and I deleted her aunt’s contact information and told her you will never be talking to her again as long as you are a minor.
She was crying even more. I told my wife and she thinks I did the right thing and has been on the phone with Rebecca a lot since it happened.
I have been fending off calls from all my family calling me a jerk.
I need an honest option since Rebecca and my family surely think I am awful.”
28. AITJ For Not Letting My Fiancé Use My Truck For Fishing If I'm Not Coming?
“I (30F) love fishing. I hardly ever get to go due to work and conflicting schedules.
I have a truck, my fiance has a car. I have asked him multiple times to go fishing with me but he almost always refuses. The last time we went together was 3 years ago.
However, his buddy just got a new boat and since that point, I have asked to tag along multiple times that they have gone fishing but they always plan for a day they know I’m working.
However, they use my truck to go fishing and haul this boat. They always ask and originally it didn’t bother me too much but now that they seem to be purposely planning for days when I absolutely cannot go (despite bringing his friend’s partner), it has started to severely annoy me.
And no, it’s not because they want to create distance from me or because I’m problematic. I’m actually really good friends with his buddy AND the girl and we hang out quite often at my place. It’s ONLY when they go fishing that they don’t want me there despite the other partner going.
So anyways, I’ve asked 4 times within the past month alone if I can tag along and my fiance always says he will ‘run it by his buddy’ to plan for a day that I’m not working but, as you probably guessed, they never do.
So the last time they went (yesterday – despite all of us having this weekend off) I told them they weren’t using my truck. When my fiance asked why I was pretty blunt about it and said that since they purposely choose days to go fishing without me, knowing how badly I want to go, they will not be using my truck to do anything.
My truck, my say.
My fiance tried pulling the ‘it’s guy time’ nonsense so I said ‘Really? That’s why Clarissa is there every single time?’ He says that’s not fair and that if he had a say she wouldn’t be there either.
I told him that was not the point and that they won’t be using my truck again unless I’m invited. He says I’m acting petty and childish. I’m starting to think I might be but this actually really bothers me so I can’t tell.
My friend is on my fiance’s side though so who knows? AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Accepting The Good Things My Grandparents Are Giving Me?
“My (16F) mom had an affair and got pregnant with my sister Lola (15F) almost as soon as she had me.
My dad found out because the three of us (mom, dad, and me) are black, but Lola is as white as someone can be, he requested a paternity test and she wasn’t his. They divorced and my mom married her side piece with whom she had another daughter (13F).
My grandparents (mom’s side) disowned her because they do not condone infidelity at all. The house she and my dad lived in was my grandparents’ and they kicked her out when she married her husband. They took her car, and her cards and basically left her alone.
Until I was 13 my dad had primary custody and my mom also had to pay child support because I only visit her on weekends. I only moved with her because my grandparents (mom’s parents) enrolled me in a private school close to her and it was easier for me to live with my mom and only do the 20-min commute instead of 1.30.
This is the problem; my Papa and Nana are NOT as involved with my half-sisters as they are with me, they do things now and then and give them generous birthday and Christmas gifts, but they never offered to enroll them in the same school as me and neither agreed when my mom asked them to.
My college fund is funded by four people (my parents and grandparents) while my sisters’ are only funded by my mom and her husband.
My grandad said he’ll buy me a car next year and my dad saved these past 3 years for a trip to Japan.
My mom said she was tired of me having everything and that my sisters will resent me because I don’t put a stop to it. She said the least I could do is refuse to keep attending my school and go to my sisters’ instead.
My stepdad also agreed that I was being a spoiled brat.
I refused to change schools because I’m happy there. I have friends. I like the classes and the school’s name is good enough to get me into a few colleges.
Plus I have almost straight As so I feel like I’m earning my place there and it’s not just because my Papa is paying for it. My mom said that if I refuse, then I can’t keep living here because she won’t expose my sisters to more favoritism and I just said okay and I plan to move back with my dad and just do the 1.30-hour commute then, needless to say, she called me a jerk.
AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Wanting My Daughter's Stepdad To Promise Me That I Will Still Be Able To See Her?
“So I (31M) have a 9-year-old daughter with my ex. I’ve been visiting as often as they allow and always look forward to seeing my daughter.
My ex got married 5 years ago and all in all, we’ve had a good co-parenting relationship until last year.
Last autumn my ex went to a&e and turns out she needed her gallbladder out. I had texted her the morning I found out she was in a&e because we had a video call scheduled. She informed me that she was in A&e and that she would ask her husband to arrange it.
About 15 minutes before the call was scheduled, I messaged the stepdad just to ask if the call was happening since I did want to see my daughter especially with her mum being in hospital. He told me to back off and then blocked me.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and my ex and her husband asked for me to give permission for him to become a legal guardian, so my daughter can go on his private health care insurance. While I do agree that my daughter getting private health care would be a good idea, I did ask the stepdad to assure me that he would never block me from seeing her again.
The thing is he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong. He said that I was pushing, that he was stressed because his wife was in the hospital, he had to look after my daughter on his own, and that he also had his work and doctorate.
He then went on to say that he has let me in his house, let me eat his food, and given my family gifts.
My partner says she can sympathize with him but he’s made the situation all about him and she thinks he’s attempting to gaslight me.
She said that because he can’t see that he’s done anything wrong, he will do it again. Since we can’t agree I am looking at getting a court order in place so that they can’t stop me from seeing my daughter.
Though now I feel like a jerk for even asking. So AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Defending My Husband From My Sister?
“I (28M) am married to my amazing husband, H (27M). In case it wasn’t obvious, we’re in a gay relationship, which is what makes this whole situation so baffling to me.
Here’s the background.
I’m a stay-at-home dad to our 4 and 2-year-old daughters. H works very long hours, so I end up doing the lion’s share of the housework and childcare. I honestly love it. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I’ve wanted to have a family and be a stay-at-home dad since I was really young, and H is amazing about helping whenever he’s home, so it’s really the perfect situation for us. But my family has never really accepted it, and they always think that he’s taking advantage of me or that I secretly resent it.
H made a joke about me being similar to a 50s housewife a month or two ago, and it kind of stuck. He occasionally calls me his housewife (mostly in private), and it’s kind of turned into a silly pet name for us.
I think it’s cute and funny and he would 100% stop if I asked him to, so I don’t see the issue with it.
H and I were at a family gathering yesterday when he teasingly referred to me as his housewife.
I didn’t mind, and it’s pretty well known among my family that it’s a running joke between us, but my sister (20F) who usually doesn’t show flipped her lid. She called H homophobic and told him it was offensive for him to try and ‘feminize’ me.
She said that if he wanted a wife he could go get one instead of trying to turn me into one.
We were both totally bewildered. H is 100% gay, and has absolutely no interest in ‘turning me into a woman’.
I’m very comfortable in my skin as a man too, and I’m probably more traditionally masculine than H is. I was mad, and I told her that was the dumbest thing I’d ever heard and to get away from us if she was going to accuse H of something so severe.
She started crying and left, and the rest of us left pretty soon after because it had gotten awkward. H and I are still really angry, and I don’t think I did anything wrong, but my sister keeps blowing up my phone and my mom thinks I should just apologize to her.
I really don’t want to.
So, AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Not Making My Husband Apologize For His Honest But Brutal Feedback?
“I (29 f) am married to my husband Bob (34 m). My husband is very successful in life and particularly so in his career. He became one of the youngest executives before leaving to start a successful business. He’s also one of those people who is ‘brutally honest’.
However, he realizes his honesty can hurt feelings so he never gives unsolicited advice. In fact, he’ll go out of his way to give solicited advice. If he knows his comments will be brutal and the seeker pushes, he’ll shut down and say ‘No thank you’.
Bob is also very smart, business savvy, and can look at many things people don’t consider and pull it all together into coherent and valuable advice. This results in his friends and family constantly asking his opinions on a wide range of matters.
A few days ago we were visiting my family in another state. During dinner, my dad announced he was leaving his job to start a business. Everyone was cheering and congratulating him except for Bob. No one noticed this but me.
Then my dad turned to Bob to discuss business plans and ask for advice and smart strategies.
Bob danced around the answers by saying things like, ‘I don’t know the laws of this state’. I focused on their conversation and knowing Bob, tried to change the subject.
It didn’t work as my dad was very excited and started to go into details with us. Finally, he asked Bob if he would like to be an investor and a partner. My husband was quiet for a few seconds then answered, ‘No thanks’.
My dad didn’t like that answer so kept on asking why and what was wrong with his business plan. Other members took notice so soon everyone was asking Bob questions and he said, ‘No thanks’ to them all. My dad got so angry he was almost yelling his questions.
Finally, Bob answered. He broke down my dad’s business plan, personality, and why the business will fail so completely it shocked everyone.
Examples: it will be a niche business during an economic downturn and record inflation, it requires specialized staffing and training when there are staffing issues, my dad has no follow through (he pointed to the $10,000 in building material rotting in the yard my dad bought 5 years ago to build a deck but never got around to it), my dad has weak work ethics when a business owner needs strong ones because they routinely work 70+ hours a week, and so so much more.
We sat in stunned silence. I’ve never heard anyone break down my dad’s life so completely and basically called him a crap person to his face. Then the room exploded and everyone started to yell at Bob.
We left and I was initially angry at him.
However, I realized that he tried not to answer, and more importantly, his answers were well thought out and correct. We talked and we’re good.
My family won’t speak to Bob and demand I make him apologize but I told them they’re the ones who pushed for the answers.
No one in my family is on my side.”
23. AITJ For Telling My Friend I Would Have To Leave His Wedding Early?
“Earlier this year, I was invited to be a groomsman in a friend’s wedding and accepted. A month later, I received a job offer that I had spent the past two years pursuing.
Great! Upon accepting the offer, I was given a pre-determined start date. The only catch was, the start date was the day after my friend’s wedding (his wedding is on a Sunday, my start date is on a Monday). No problem, I thought.
I informed him that I wouldn’t be staying out too late because I would have to go to work the next morning, and he understood. The ceremony and my office were within 2 hrs of each other, no big deal. I’d still be able to participate in the ceremony and reception, I would just have to leave before it got too late.
No problem. I could do more vigorous celebrating with the groom-to-be at the bachelor party the week before the wedding ($365 per person).
The Trouble: A few weeks ago, human resources informed me that my first day of work would not be 2 hrs away from the wedding, as I originally thought.
But instead, they would be flying me across the country to the US headquarters and putting me up in a hotel, in order to take part in a mandatory weeklong orientation. Oh no! That would mean 3 things, either: 1. I miss the wedding, 2.
I miss my first day at work, or 3. I leave immediately after the bride and groom kiss and take a red-eye flight across the country to orientation.
The Choice: I didn’t feel comfortable missing my first day of work. This was a date pre-determined to accommodate the orientation.
I didn’t want to start off my new career on the wrong foot. But, I also did not want to miss my friend’s wedding. So, I opted to take the red eye. Plus, I’d still be going to the Bachelor Party.
The Reaction: I told my friend this and he surprised me by saying, ‘When I asked you to be a groomsman I expected you to stay for the entirety of the event. It upsets me that you would be leaving immediately after the ceremony and not participating in the reception.
I’d like to think my wedding is important to you so, either skip your first day at work or don’t come at all.’
The Fallout: We talked and I stressed that missing my first day of work was not a good option for me.
I worked hard for this position and I didn’t want to leave a bad first impression. I told him about my offer to pull an overnight flight in order to be at both the wedding and my first day at work, but the fact I would be leaving before the reception was an offense to him.
I felt hurt because I was really going out of my way.
Ultimately, he rescinded my invitation to the wedding and the bachelor party and is currently withholding the $365 I paid to participate in the bachelor party. I am no longer invited, but he will not refund me what I paid.
He is currently ignoring my calls and his fiance told me to never talk to them again.”
22. AITJ For Telling My Son To Lose Weight If He Wants Me To Pay For Him To Go Skydiving?
“My (45M) son is turning 18 in May. For his birthday, he really wants to go skydiving. I started looking into it and I couldn’t find anywhere he could go for it.
He’s 250 lbs and skydiving has a weight limit. I told him what I found out and apologized. Not being one to give up, he decided to do his own research. He ended up finding a place that can accommodate him, but it was really far away.
Between the plane ticket, Ubers, hotel, food, the actual cost of the skydive, and the additional fees because of his size, it’s going to be pretty far out of my budget (not to mention the risk of it not being good enough weather for a jump, rendering the whole trip a waste).
I have no one I can ask to help me pay for this. His mother and her parents would never approve and I’d like to keep the peace between us, my parents aren’t part of my life, my brother is dirt broke, and I’m not comfortable asking anyone else for this, I’m truly alone here.
So, I made him a deal. I said if he loses weight, I’ll pay for him to go skydiving around us, or I’ll split the cost with him to take this trip he wants to go on. He doesn’t have a job, but if he saves the birthday money he’s going to get from other family members and dips into the money he got from his Bar Mitzvah, he can make it happen.
He called me a ‘cheap jerk’ and said he knew I had the money. A few years ago, he accidentally got a glimpse of my savings account while I was on the computer and got the idea in his head that I was rich.
I’m really not, he just doesn’t realize how expensive life actually is yet. I told him that I’m not going to tap into my emergency fund for a birthday gift. He stormed off to his room and slammed the door.
Late at night, I overheard him on the phone crying to his SO, saying how he feels like I don’t care about him or want him to be happy. I’m genuinely heartbroken that he’s so hurt over this and I’ve been wracking my brain for ways to pay without dipping into my savings, but it just doesn’t seem plausible.
I even looked into donating plasma, but I found out I’m not qualified to do so. I guess I could dip into my savings. It won’t deplete them, I’m just terrified that something will go horribly wrong before I can build them up again and I’ll need that money.
But maybe it’s unfair of me to be so paranoid about that. AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Wanting My Son To Celebrate His Birthday Doing What He Wants?
“I (29F) have a son who’s about to turn 4 in a few weeks. My partner and I intend to take him to a planetarium, which is something he’s wanted for as long as he could talk about it.
It seems the stars are finally aligning and we can finally afford to make his little dream come true. The only catch is, my mother (49F) also has a young child, (6F), and my little sister gets super excited about birthdays and feverishly wants to attend them.
In reasons of fairness, my son hasn’t cared for birthdays before this year, but he seems excited for this one – all without knowing what we might be planning for it.
When I extended the invitation for my mother to join us, she said I’m a jerk who is not considering her and my little sister’s feelings or interests or plans and by choosing to do ‘that activity’ for my son’s birthday, I’m secluding them from attending the event.
The planetarium is a three-hour drive away in another city and she cites this in her reasoning, along with ‘we should look at what else we can do there because sister doesn’t enjoy that’. Both my parents drive while I would be taking a train to get there.
When I said that’s unfortunate and suggested we could do something another weekend together, she buckled down and told me I should take my son there on his birthday since I’m so particular about it but tell him his ‘real’ birthday will be the one on the day they’ll get to attend.
Now, I’m sure other broke single parents have had to readjust dates for their babies’ birthdays and took advantage of them being too young to get called out on it, but I firmly don’t want to do that now that I have no need for it other than to placate another adult.
I want my son to spend his birthday doing something he actually wants and I want him to know we planned this trip for him on his birthday, to make him happy.
AITJ for making this an unreasonable hill to die on, according to my mother?”
20. AITJ For Telling My Partner That If He Wants Me To Teach Him Piano He'll Have To Pay Me?
“I am a piano teacher. Kids and teenagers come to my house for lessons and we do the solfege lessons online. I get asked to play here and there occasionally but teaching is my main occupation and how I make a living.
My partner of 5 years has always loved my music and recently decided he wanted to learn the piano in order to join me and play with me. I was of course overjoyed and recommended a great teacher that I know who teaches adults intensively.
He said why would he go to another teacher when he has the best one at home.
I was of course flattered but reminded him that first, I don’t really have experience with adults and second, I don’t really have any free time so I could only spend 1 hour very occasionally on him, which isn’t enough.
He said I should then drop some of my students and devote time to teaching him at least 3 times a week and also help him practice on my days off and nights after work. I reminded him that while I love the idea of him learning the piano, I couldn’t just drop students whom I have been teaching for years and whose parents have trusted me with their education.
Apart from that, I literally work 12-22 on weekdays plus the mornings with 13.00-14.00 as my only break until 23.00 on weekends, so any more than that and I will collapse. He works in the mornings so it’s not like I can teach him then.
He wasn’t pleased that I didn’t want to devote hours to him so I asked him how much he was willing to pay me, considering the fact that piano lessons are quite expensive. He was shocked that I was expecting him to pay me instead of being grateful that he wanted to learn my art and feel more connected to me.
I am of course very grateful but I can’t just drop students to take another student for free and also be expected to help him unconditionally after work. I would gladly help him practice occasionally and give him advice if he was being taught the main lessons from another teacher but he didn’t accept this.
He’s mad and disappointed. So far we haven’t had any similar issues, we’re both very generous and generously share everything without being strict about who paid what and how much. But this is my profession and dropping a loyal student for someone who might get bored of it and teach him for free isn’t viable.
So AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Not Letting Kids Ride The Dogs?
“I have 3 children of my own and a 10-year-old dog. Recently I added a 3-month-old dog to the mix so we’re really working hard on building the puppy’s confidence. In my home my dog has always been taught proper interactions with children, no nipping, pulling clothing, chasing, etc but I have also taught my children appropriate interactions with a dog.
This includes common sense things like no pulling ears/tail or riding/sitting on the dog and more in-depth boundaries such as you don’t touch the dog while it’s eating or sleeping, you never ride the dogs or enter the dogs’ crate for any reason.
I babysit my nephew (2) a few times a week, he also has 3 dogs in the home, however, my sister does NOT have the same boundaries and expects that her dogs are just ‘good dogs’ and take the lip and tail pulling.
My sister got mad at me this week because I disciplined my nephew for trying to ride my new puppy in front of her. I did it the same way I taught all 3 of my children, ‘No thank you. We do not ride Aunty’s dogs,’ removed him and set him down a few feet away.
Of course, he’s 2, so he cried like I stole his ice cream and all I said was ‘That’s okay, you can be mad at Aunty but you know the rules’ and my sister came unhinged. Told me I need to train my dogs better if I can’t even trust them to not bite and that I was self-righteous and that I was choosing my dogs over my own nephew.
We got into an argument and I did say some things I shouldn’t have. After she said that she’d never bring my nephew back to my house, I told her that it was fine, I’d see her at his funeral when he was mauled by a dog or three.
Am I really the jerk for expecting all children coming to my home to give my dog the same boundaries my own children have?
I know I’m the jerk for what I said about my nephew.
Update: I just got off the phone with our mom.
She’s siding with my sister, saying that even though we have different parenting views, it’s not my job to teach her child boundaries. I explained that they were guests in my home and I wasn’t being unreasonable, I was asking for a level of respect and preventing a potential bite.
I spoke at length about dog safety and child safety and that I won’t be a bystander when I see something unsafe involving children. She just doesn’t see it this way. If my dogs are dangerous I need to keep them tied up, and they both think this is an issue of overstepping parenting boundaries.
I tried to parent her son when I had no right to. My sister won’t answer my calls so I did send her a text apologizing for the comment I made, and asking her to have a conversation with me when we’re no longer heated so we can resolve it.
I truly don’t think my mom and sister see this as the safety issue it is.”
18. AITJ For Being Angry At My SIL For Neglecting My Daughters?
“I (31F) have a one-year-old and a three-year-old, both girls.
My oldest is very articulate and smart for her age with a good memory.
I’ve been a stay-at-home mom since my first was born and it has been a tiring few years. My husband (36) works long hours and isn’t much help with the kids except on his days off.
He has acquired a lot of debt in the past five years. He had quit his high-paying tech job and went back to school to be an ER doctor (out of the blue, he had talked about it for years but didn’t even consult me when he quit).
He has only recently started his residency.
We stick to a strict budget in our household because of all this, but he has always given me something extra every week for me. I saved up enough from that to afford a cruise trip, with my sister, and take a needed break.
My husband didn’t mind me going, but was worried about the cost of daycare for the 2 weeks I would be gone. So his sister (25) offers to stay with him for free and watch the kids because she can work from home.
I agreed and gave her instructions on what to do.
I got home early from the trip and his sister was asleep on the couch with my oldest next to her and my baby was nowhere to be found. I freaked out because of this, (what babysitter doesn’t stay in the room with the BABY) and woke her up.
She was very nonchalant and said the baby was in her room asleep. She was in her room, but the baby monitor wasn’t next to his sister while she was asleep, so if something happened she wouldn’t have known.
The house was a mess, toys were all over the living room floor and there were dishes in the sink, and the trash was full.
My daughter was also dressed very poorly and none of her clothes matched.
While I’m asking her about all this she’s packing her stuff and leaving, very fast for someone who didn’t do anything wrong. And leaves before I’m done questioning her.
I assumed she didn’t treat the kids right if the house wasn’t right, and asked my kid how it was without me. She said it was fine but she missed my cooking, and I asked what she ate while I wasn’t here.
And she said microwave pancakes. And that’s all she said.
I called her and asked her why my kid only ate pancakes while I was gone (my instructions said no microwave food) and she claims that isn’t true, and my daughter must be ‘confused’ at the question because she made her a lot of stuff (mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, peanut butter and jelly, all crap with only a few fruit/veg).
So I asked my daughter again what she ate and she, again said pancakes. So I told her my child isn’t a liar and she hung up.
She then called my husband AT WORK to tell him, and he called to tell me that he had seen his sister cook for her.
I said that didn’t mean she wasn’t only feeding our kid pancakes when he wasn’t around. He is always on his sister’s side, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he lied for her.
He thinks I’m wrong for being mad and wants me to apologize.
I want him to apologize for not believing our daughter to protect his sister. AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Making My Mom Miss Out On Her Birthday Vacation?
“So I (25f) am changing jobs. I got offered a new job this past Thursday, so I gave my two weeks’ notice that day. My last day at my current job is on July 14 and I start the new one on July 18.
This is the part where I’m being called the jerk. So every year, my family goes on a vacation together. I’m an only child so it’s just me and my parents. My dad has recently become legally blind and my mom refuses to drive outside of our small farm town.
Because of this I still live at home and I have to drive them everywhere they want to go, including being the sole driver when we go on trips.
My mom’s (61) birthday is on July 13 and we always plan a trip on the week of her birthday.
Although with my dad’s eyes, we haven’t planned anything yet, we were planning to go to either Wisconsin or Michigan, but nothing is booked. Now since her birthday is on the 13th and my last day isn’t until the 14th, she will be at home over her birthday and we won’t be able to go anywhere for longer than 3 days.
She’s furious. I can’t speak to her without her yelling about this. I offered for us to go to Chicago for the weekend (we live about 2 hours away and take the train up there often) but she doesn’t want to do that because it’ll be more expensive and busy over the weekend.
It is important to note here that there are two things that she is already upset with me about. One is that I have already gone on a trip with my partner’s family to Florida this year. She’s mad about that because she loves the beach and hasn’t been able to go for about 5 years.
I tried to bring her home a lot of souvenirs but it’s not the same as being there. The other is that she isn’t able to go to her favorite singer’s concert later this month because it’s the same day as my best friend’s wedding that I’m a bridesmaid in.
She complains to me about this literally every day.
She’s been telling me that I should have had my last day on the 11th. To her, I’m being very selfish and ‘have my priorities messed up’. She said it’s not like my old job could fire me, which I guess is technically true.
I think I’m doing the best thing professionally speaking but maybe I am putting my own interests before my family. I know she has been having a rough time because of my dad’s diagnosis so maybe I should have been more obliging towards her.
So AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Disagreeing With My Wife In Front Of Her Family?
“I married my wife Leah 3 years ago after being in a relationship for 3 years before that. I have a son Callum (12m). My late wife was Grace. She died when Callum was 14 months old. I have always made a point of keeping her memory alive.
We used to read some of the letters Grace left him for bedtime. I also played the videos she made for him for daily life/looking back on. I also tell him stories about her and about us, as a couple and a family with him.
He has an attachment to her memory and to her through everything she left for him.
When I met Leah he and I talked as I was getting ready to introduce her and he asked if she had to be his new mom.
I said no, that it was up to him and their relationship could be anything he was comfortable with. He said he couldn’t imagine having someone else be his mom. We talked about it more times as the relationship progressed and I was open with Leah.
That she was marrying me, but she was not becoming a mom. She said she was okay with that but she did want more kids. I agreed to that.
We did not expect her to be infertile and unable to have a child biologically.
Ever since that, she has been less okay with not being Callum’s mom. She has told me it should be back on the table, despite my telling her Callum’s feelings have not changed.
So she decided to bring it up in front of her family, saying that she was being his mom but not getting the love or title.
That I was making her feel less loved than Grace. Her family started ganging up on me, saying they had been hearing about it for three years now and how Callum deserved a mom and to be healthy enough to embrace a new mom, and that Leah deserves to be a mom and to be credited for raising Callum.
They said she was doing most of the parenting which I strongly disagreed with. I am not some guy who got married to pawn his kid off on someone. I actively parent my son and do more than Leah, both because I don’t agree with dumping all the parenting on my spouse (it was the same when Grace was alive) because I want to be there for my son, and because Callum comes to me more than Leah.
She argued that she should be doing more, as the mother of the household. That I am being a terrible husband. I asked her what she wanted me to do. To tell Callum that his feelings and clearly established boundaries don’t matter and that he needs to cater to hers?
I have been her shoulder to lean on throughout her finding out she’s infertile, and throughout any stepparenting struggles she’s had, but she really annoyed me by handling the conversation the way she did, and I told her she knew what the deal was when she married me, and I had been clear with her what her role would be and that we were not looking for Callum to have a new mom.
Leah was upset. I don’t think she was that devastated when she found out she couldn’t have biological children and her family was mad at me. I do feel bad for snapping like I did, but I am also mad at her for putting me in the position she did.
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Not Being Surprised When My Daughter Told Me She's Bi?
“So my (36f) husband (38m) and I adopted 2 bio sisters fostering them for many years. My oldest Anna (19f), her BFF London (18f) & I were sitting at our dining room table going over budgets because they want to move out together & wanted to know what they could afford.
With the way our house is situated where I was sitting at the table, I could see our stairs going upstairs, the living room & the front door. When Anna, London & I first sat down Madison (16f) burst through the front & stormed up the stairs & proceeded to slam her bedroom door.
Par for the course of teenage girl living but I asked Anna & BFF if they knew what that was about. They both said no. I thought that Madison was supposed to be hanging out with friends that day. I wasn’t even expecting her home til way later.
I gifted Anna a budget journal & told her & BFF to start filling in some of the info & I was going to go check on her sister.
I went upstairs & knocked on Madison’s door who yelled go away.
I poked my head in saw she was crying & told her I just wanted to check on her, see if she wanted to talk & invite her down. She said no & I left her alone to sort things out with plans to go back up once I was done helping her sister.
So about an hour later we we were just finishing up the budgets & I see my youngest walk down the stairs & stand in the middle of the living room looking like she was steeling herself to come say something.
I called out to her & startled her when I asked if she was alright.
She straightened up, strode into the dining room, closed her eyes, and yelled, ‘Mom I’m Bi! I’m sorry but that’s how it is!
Please don’t be mad or try & change my mind! It is made up!’ I calmly asked if she was done shouting and simply said, ‘AND?’ She was stunned. Her sister & BFF said, ‘Duh we’ve known for years!’ in unison.
I shushed them & had them go start dinner for me. I turned to start talking to my youngest & was greeted by her fleeing out the front door. I chased after her catching up with her on the corner, thank heavens for the traffic!
She was bawling telling me I didn’t care about her & other things. I grabbed her shoulders telling her I love her & didn’t understand. She broke free & ran away again. She came home hours later but wouldn’t talk to me still.
She hasn’t talked to me since.
Help! AITJ? What do I do to fix this? I genuinely don’t care if she is Bi. She could come home with the one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater for all I care!
As long as she’s happy!
Edit to add: I’ve always told my girls that they’ve never had to come out to me. Just bring someone home & introduce them as their significant other. Maybe her statements just surprised me.
I don’t know.”
In a few years, this will be a funny story for you both.
14. AITJ For Not Taking My Cousin With Me To Disneyland?
“My (22M) significant other (23F) Heather has never been to Disneyland before, despite living an hour away from Magic Kingdom.
So as a way to celebrate her graduation, I bought tickets and am taking her in a week.
My Aunt ‘Jennie’ learned that the Disneyland trip coincidentally falls on my cousin Melaine’s 8th birthday. Aunt Jennie asked if I could take Melaine since Aunt Jennie would be busy that day and offered to pay for Melaine’s ticket and cover any of her food/toy expenses.
Something to mention about Melaine is that Aunt Jennie suspects her of having a mental disorder. Aunt Jennie thinks autism, but Melaine just seems a bit blunt/socially inexperienced to me. Aunt Jennie does not have a diagnosis, as she tried when Melaine was about 2 but obviously, it was inconclusive.
Melaine has no concept of boundaries or being told ‘No’ without throwing a tantrum. I explain to Aunt Jennie that I have an autistic friend – he can be awkward sometimes but he’s capable of understanding boundaries and so is Melaine.
But then she told me how it’s not fair to compare an adult to a child and that not all autism is the same. I realized it would go nowhere, so I just left it alone after that.
I can be okay with kids, especially when their parents are there to take over.
But I’m really not equipped to handle Melaine on my own or be able to calm her down if she has a tantrum/meltdown. Plus, as mean as it sounds, this trip is supposed to be about Heather. And I want her to have a peaceful day to celebrate without worrying about Melaine.
I explained this very gently to Aunt Jennie, but she called me a jerk because Melaine has been begging to go to Disneyland for her birthday and I care more about ‘some girl’ than my family. Aunt Jennie started making passive-aggressive social media posts saying things like ‘OP is taking (Heather) to Disneyland, Melaine wishes she could be there!’ and ‘If only Melaine’s birthday wish could come true and she could go to Disneyland with OP.’
Some family members began ‘taking sides’ with Aunt Jennie, and they say I’m being a jerk to a child and you’re only a kid once. That Heather is an adult and this trip wouldn’t be as meaningful to her as it would be to Melanie.
Am I entitled for believing that this trip should be to congratulate Heather’s graduation instead of Melanie’s birthday?”
13. AITJ For Kicking Out My Sister's Husband For Flirting With My Best Friend?
“I (m 30) had my birthday recently and my intermediate family was there. My best friend (f 35) was also there. Without saying too much to respect her privacy I won’t say too much info, but the only thing you need to know is that she was in special ‘movies’ in her early 20s, but quit the industry a few years ago.
We’ll call her M.
M and I are super close and have been friends since I was 10 and she was 15. She used to babysit me as her mother would cut my mother’s hair. We’ve been with each other through all our lives, and we’re both the godparents to our potential children.
Since she’s basically my sister without blood, she’s been at most of the functions I’ve had. Our families have also celebrated Christmas together.
My birthday this year was special, as the thing that shall not be named made it so I couldn’t really have any guests over.
This year was also special as my sister has gotten divorced and gotten remarried so I met her new husband.
The birthday was fine and like most of them, but it went kind of wrong. Somehow, my sister’s new man had seen M in ‘videos’ and started flirting and making her uncomfortable.
My sister and her son/my nephew had gone home a little earlier. He’d also been drinking and this accelerated his behavior. She told me and I got mad and said that he knocks it off or he’s not allowed here.
After about 20 minutes, he continued being gross and I called a cab and made him leave.
The day later, my sister called and got offended and said I wasn’t respecting him by doing that. I told her the situation and she said M shouldn’t have been in those ‘videos’ in the first place.
I told her that he was not allowed to come to more birthday parties if he acts like that around women, and this made it so that my mother and aunt call me, also called calling me unfair. This also made my sister post memes about respect and ‘Blood is thicker than water’ on social media.
I stood my ground and called him personally about it, and this made it so my sister hasn’t talked to me in several days. AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Not Letting My Wife Be A Stay-At-Home Mom?
“My (28M) wife (31F) has recently started to express interest in being a stay-at-home wife to prep for being a stay-at-home mom. We don’t have kids and haven’t been trying, and before getting married, we talked about kids and work/home arrangement and we agreed that we’d both work prior to and once we had kids and agreed we’d take turns with the ‘stay-at-home’ portion for the first year or two after potential kids were born then both back to work.
Now she wants to do away with that and wants to be a stay-at-home wife until we have kids and then be a stay-at-home mom. I don’t want that, I never wanted that, and I made that clear from the start when we got serious.
I enjoy my job a lot but my salary can’t sustain a family and I don’t want to go back to school and change careers like she wants me to to make it happen. I don’t want to take up a second job either knowing I’d still be doing half the housework and childcare (not that that’s a bad thing) whereas both my mom and her parents are local she’d have plenty of help during the day and able to get downtime.
We had dinner at my mother’s a couple of days ago with my sister and her kids. While we were there my wife goes: ‘Your son’s being mean, he won’t let me be a stay-at-home mom.’
First, my family took this as she was pregnant and got excited so I had to tell them that wasn’t it.
She just wants to be a stay at home. It turned into this three-on-one conversation about how I should let her stay home if that’s what she really wants and I should be taking care of her and finding a way to make this happen for her.
Finally, I go: ‘Would you two help her with the house whenever she needs it?’ ‘Of course! That’s what family is for! Especially when you start having kids we’ll help!’ ‘Cool. Keep that same energy and help me pay all our bills and every other expense to upkeep our current quality of life if you feel so strongly she should get to stay home.’
They did not like that and told me I was being overdramatic. My mom called me stubborn and told me to find corners to cut to afford everything on my salary and drop things like streaming services, some of my hobbies, going from two cars to one, etc. We left and my wife wasn’t too happy on the way home.
She says I was out of line for saying that to my mom and sister especially since she thinks I was serious. Was I the jerk for telling my mom and sister to pay our bills if they wanted me to go along with it?”
11. AITJ For Not Allowing My Sister To Have A Party At My House?
“So my husband and I have a very very expensive second home in San Diego. I grew up in SD and now I live in Vancouver for the time being. It’s my dream home. I live 9 months out of the year in Vancouver and make it down south whenever I can.
We just got it in January and we never intend to rent it out. While I was away, my family had a 4th of July party at the house and recently my parents had some out-of-town friends stay at the house with them overnight.
They asked me prior and I agreed.
My sister’s 44th birthday is coming up and she asked if she could use the house to host her birthday party. It would be, family, 3 best friends, and ‘high school friends’ (no idea how many).
Here is the interaction.
Her: Hi! Can I throw a get-together at your place on 9/30 to celebrate my birthday? It will be family + 3 best friends, friends from high school.
Me: Hey good morning! I talked to the hubby and we learned that we are really only comfortable having parties at our places while we’re there too.
Did you want to have the party after we arrive on October 11? (Her bday is in late September)
I waited a day and no response. I saw she read it.
Me: Hey, haven’t heard from you and I hope you’re not too disappointed. Of course, if it were just you we’d love to open our house up for your party.
The only issue is, how would we decline others who would ask to do the same in the future?
Her: I just find it interesting how you don’t allow your own family to use your vacation home. Your husband’s entire family can use your cabin without your presence.
I’m more hurt that you guys don’t trust me to take care of your home. Anyways, it doesn’t matter. I won’t ask you to use your home again in the future.
Me: Actually that’s not correct.
It’s not an Airbnb and we have the same rule for everybody on both sides. Only the parents used the properties without us. His siblings/friends have never been to the cottage without us.
I just wanted to set a precedence that my dream home wasn’t to be used as a party house.
We’ve worked really hard and are very fortunate to have this and we are always so very generous with everyone.
Even though I said no here, am I the jerk?”
10. AITJ For Telling My Sister She's Becoming Like Her Bullies In High School?
“In high school, my (28F) sister Madalyn (now 33F) was severely bullied. This popular girl who I’ll call Stacy accused Madalyn of trying to steal her man. Stacy started rumors about Madalyn, and Madalyn’s former friends turned on her.
Stacy and the other bullies made her life absolutely miserable. The bullying became so widespread that Madalyn had to transfer schools. Madalyn is doing well now. She has a loving husband and two beautiful daughters. But those bullies had destroyed her self-esteem for a long time.
Even with therapy, she was only able to start recovering a few years into college. The things those kids said/did to her still impact her.
Madalyn and I have a sister-in-law, Maria (32F). She and my brother, Elliot, had two children together, Adrienne (5F) and Elijah (3M) Sadly, Elliot passed away two years ago.
Maria works full-time, but she spends just about all of her free time with her children and if she ever splurges, it’s for them. The last time she ‘treated herself’ was several months ago when I booked her a spa appointment for her birthday.
Maria is a wonderful mother. However, Madalyn has become very critical of Maria for working full-time and not re-marrying. (Madalyn stays home with her girls.) She has made increasingly worse comments, but it came to a head a few days ago.
Maria and I were talking about how Adrienne and Elijah love their daycare center. Madalyn started to push Maria about when she was planning to remarry so she could start staying home. Madalyn raised her voice and called Maria selfish for not being ready to remarry and for not wanting to be a stay-at-home mom.
Madalyn said she needs to get the kids a father figure because otherwise Adrienne will end up being with a guy who treats her like trash and Elijah may become one of those bad men. And how a mother’s first priority should be her children and not ‘some job.’
Maria and I kept trying to de-escalate, but then Madalyn attacked Maria’s outfit and weight gain (Maria gained a small amount of weight after Elliot’s passing, but she’s still absolutely beautiful) and called Maria selfish for not maintaining her appearance so she could find a new husband.
I snapped at Madalyn that her attitude is ugly and right now she’s being just like Stacy and the other bullies who made her life miserable in high school. Madalyn screamed at us and I saw tears in her eyes before she left.
My mother told me that I messed up majorly with what I told Madalyn. Mom said while Madalyn phrased it in a bad way, and that she would talk to her about it later, Madalyn’s statements were out of love and genuine concern for her niece and nephew.
And I was beyond cruel and had no right to compare Madalyn to her high school bullies. Especially when I remembered how Madalyn would come home sobbing because of the bullying and how her self-esteem was destroyed for years after.
Now I’m worried that I went too far with what I said. AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Not Letting My Mother-In-Law Into Our House?
“My husband and I (30M and 32F) have been married for 5 years now, and we have a 3-year-old son. My MIL has been disapproving of me since the start, my husband had to literally beg her to let me marry him.
Every time she visits our home, she always complains about how messy it is and that I never clean, even though our house is very tidy and she just nitpicks every detail. I can’t criticize anything about my husband in front of her, or she will go berserk and start berating me.
She holds back a little when my husband is around, but when it’s just us two she treats me like absolute trash. Things got even worse after we had our son, she would come over completely unannounced when my husband was at work and she’d tell me everything I was doing wrong with our son and how I was a terrible mother.
My husband knew that we didn’t have a good relationship, but he’s such a momma’s boy and didn’t do much about it.
About a month ago, we moved to a different state because of my husband’s work. I was honestly super relieved because it meant I didn’t have to see my MIL as often anymore.
But a few days ago my husband said that she would be visiting us to come see our new house, and I agreed only if she stayed in a hotel instead of our place. I knew this must have made her mad.
She was supposed to come over for dinner and my husband was going to pick her up from her hotel after he got off work, but she decided to come earlier without telling us. I was already extremely stressed out because I was still trying to get settled in our new home and my son got a fever so I had to take him to the hospital. I’m also 4 months pregnant so I’m always tired and my mood can be unstable.
Our doorbell has a camera and monitor, and when I saw it was her I just did not want to deal with her so I didn’t let her in. I turned off my phone so I didn’t see her calls or the messages from my husband.
She was at our door ringing the doorbell for about 15 minutes before she finally gave up and left.
When my husband got home he was absolutely livid with me and asked what possible reason I had to not let his mother in.
I was so frustrated that I just burst into tears and told him how his mom had been bullying me and that I was so stressed out about everything that had been happening, and he just said that it was cold outside and she was old and could have gotten sick.
I didn’t have the energy to argue with him anymore so I just stopped talking and went to bed. Later that night I heard him on the phone with her and she said she would go home early and demanded that we get divorced, which made me really upset.
Am I justified for my actions or AITJ?
Edit: I took my son to the hospital earlier that day (I think around 10 am?), and my MIL came about 2 hours earlier than planned.”
8. AITJ For Not Joining A Family Vacation?
“My (28F) parents are organizing a family holiday abroad and have approached me stating that they will be paying for my sister’s (30F) holiday but not mine. This is because, to them, I can afford it and she cannot, and that is the only way we would all be able to go on vacation together (they couldn’t pay for us both).
That it’s their money and they can do as they wish with it, and that I am in a good spot financially right now and my sister isn’t, if I ever find myself in a bad spot, they will help me out.
But to me, it’s not that simple. I am more financially stable than my sister because I have chosen to live in a cheaper area (despite being further from my friends), followed a career path where financial security is guaranteed, and always live well within my means.
Whereas my sister has followed a career path that is (unfairly, I admit) underpaid, insisted on living close to her friends despite the high rent, and likes to spend more money on her lifestyle.
My parents think the crux of it is that I am lucky that my passion lines up with a well-paying job, and my sister is unlucky that her passion does not, so my sister deserves more help due to that bad luck.
They also think that I am lucky to have a partner that I could move away to a cheaper area with him, and my sister (who doesn’t currently have a serious partner) is unlucky in that respect, so it would be a greater deal to move away from her friends and therefore again unlucky.
Again, they insist if the tables turn and our fortunes are reversed, they would help me out.
AITJ for refusing this holiday and choosing one with my friends at the same time instead? If the money thing wasn’t there, I would probably have chosen this family holiday.
But I just feel like my frugal decisions are now being punished and this is unfair. I’m not angling for my parents to pay for me too, and I also feel bad kind of suggesting (indirectly) my sister pay for hers, but I still feel really hard done by and that my sister is being coddled and the fact that she spends quite a lot on a day to day basis (much more than me) is being rewarded.
My parents and sister think I am being money hungry and not very compassionate about my sister’s unlucky love life and underpaid profession. This is stopping us from going on a vacation all four of us, which is upsetting my parents.
EDIT: I’m not judging my sister’s spending at all – I think it’s great she goes out and has a good time. We’re just different. But at the end of the day, I’m still being asked to spend more than her on the same things.
It makes my sacrifices not feel worth it. It’s more a comment on the saving I do to be able to afford this holiday, rather than exactly what she/isn’t doing in order to not afford it.”
7. AITJ For Telling Our Mom Where My Brother Was?
“My little bro is 15. He came to me at like 3 am and asked if I could drive him to a girl’s house.
I was like LOL screw you, I’m not taking you to some random girl’s house in the middle of the night and waiting outside while y’all chill. He said ok he would just drive himself. I grabbed the keys and said I was not letting him take out the car in the dark when he doesn’t even know how to drive.
And I asked who even was this girl and why can’t he go to her house after school and hang out like a normal person. He said she went to another high school and mentioned a first name.
So then whatever lol I went to bed. At 10 am the next morning my mom said my brother ‘biked to the gym’ at 6 am and hadn’t come back yet.
I was like uh huh but kept my mouth shut because as a rule, we don’t snitch on each other when the other sneaks out or whatever. I texted him to tell him he was super dumb for this and would no doubt get caught.
He texted back ‘Just keep covering for me pls’.
But another couple of hours passed and my mom started calling him and he didn’t pick up, no doubt avoiding her calls. I knew he was fine cause I texted to check in, but she started getting frantic and I tried to calm her down saying he was probably hanging with his friends.
But she was panicking and said she was going to call the police. At that point, I just told her the whole situation. She was furious and I texted my brother (he also didn’t pick up my call) telling him to come home or Mom was going to tear him a new one.
He said he was on his way. The girl also found me on social media and messaged me saying not to get him in trouble and that it was all her fault. LOL.
Anyway, my brother came home super mad at me for ‘snitching’.
Apparently, I’m the worst sister ever, etc. I told him he was being stupid and would he have rather gotten picked up from his date in a police cruiser? Like gosh, I figured it would be the least embarrassing of the two options to have his mom yell at him a little.
Because he was angry (and maybe thinking it would take the heat off him) he decided to tell my mom about all the times I lied to her to go see a girl. Honestly, she really didn’t care, probably because it was a couple of years ago since I snuck around with that kind of thing.
LOL. But I told him it was mad rude to call me out for no reason and also have his significant other(?) message me. We fought pretty badly but then made up in a few hours because he was making pasta and I wanted some.
But AITJ for telling Mom?”
6. AITJ For Leaving My Partner's Home Without Telling Him Or His Parents?
“I (24 f) have been with my significant other (24 m) off-and-on within a span of 5 years, but total time together would be more like 3 1/2 years. This last time we got back together, his only condition was that we move closer to his family, in a different state, almost an 8-hour drive from where my family lives.
My SO said it was time I grew up and ‘got out in the real world’ and that this was the best way to do so, he’s always said I should want bigger things for myself and that this town was holding me back.
After talking with my family, they of course warned me to be cautious and think about it, but my SO was constantly in my ear about how I’ll never be able to become my own person if I stay and continue being babied by them, and that this was my one shot to make this relationship work.
Needless to say, I was rushed to a decision.
I was living with him, his mom, and his stepdad for 6 months and it’s been terrible. I don’t have my own car, I don’t know anyone here, and since I haven’t been able to register that I live in this state now, I haven’t been able to find a proper job.
His stepdad got me a job that pays under the table as a dishwasher. They ended up firing me because his mom (who also works there) complained about needing more tasks to work more hours. I then became their maid basically.
They wanted me to cook for them, clean after them, and even put their clothes away for them while they were all at work or out doing god knows what.
One night I realized how helpless I felt and I texted my mom, she offered to pick me up, and with the same spur-of-the-moment decision I made to get there, I made it again to go home.
He left around 5 am for work and I began packing my things in our room. His mom and stepdad made their way out a few hours later, and eventually, my mom showed up with my brother to drive back and we left.
When we finally came home and I checked my phone, surprisingly only had a couple of messages. My SO was heartbroken and said his mom feels guilty for treating me the way she did but she was only ‘protecting her son’ and that I should’ve told him I was leaving instead of running away like a child.
He said he’d just got the $20 ready to give me when he got off work and take me to get my license changed. I told him I was sorry but I didn’t know what else to do and I was homesick.
He said all he wanted was for me to be honest and speak up. I thought I was making the right call and that he’d understand, but I do wonder if it would have been better to voice my opinion instead of running away.
AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Commenting On My Significant Other's Medication?
“I (26M) have been with my significant other (25F) for about a year. And she visits the doctor A LOT. And I mean… a lot. Like once or twice every month.
She claims that she’s having lots of health issues (hypotension, chronic migraines, and a minor heart condition). They all seem like minor issues (except her migraines) and I feel like she’s causing more harm than good by pumping her body full of pills.
She also developed a bunch of stomach ulcers due to all the medication. And recently she had an allergic reaction to some antibiotics because apparently she’s been experiencing diarrhea for a week. Her reaction was severe and she had a fever of 40+ °C paired with mental confusion.
The next morning I decided to talk to her about her frequent trips to the doctor. I told her that taking too much medication might compromise her health further. That I haven’t met someone else that frequents the doctor as much as she does.
And I also brought up the fact that health care is expensive… and asked her how she’s planning on sustaining her lifestyle.
She told me that money isn’t an issue – that her parents are helping her out and she’s on a great healthcare plan.
And that I can’t compare her health to other people I know.
But I still feel like she’s compromising her health further… especially given her stomach ulcers. I reminded her that she’s still young, and if she causes damage to her body now it might cause more issues in the future.
She got upset at me and said that I have no right to speak on behalf of her body. That she’s fully aware of the side effects of the meds she’s on, but that she’s fine with it.
She went to her parents and hasn’t returned yet.
She’s not talking to me either. I reached out to her parents to ask if she was okay. They say I was out of line, and that she’s dealing with a lot at the time. She’s still recovering from her allergic reaction and they reminded me that illness is something that she’s been dealing with for ages.
She’s ignoring my texts and calls. Was I out of line? AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Wanting My Partner To Do Something About How He Sleeps?
“We are renting a house from his parents, we have a dog but no children.
The main problem in our relationship is that he won’t let me sleep.
He goes to bed at 9 pm and wakes up at 6 am, I go to bed at 10 pm and wake up at 7 am. But in all those hours when he is sleeping, he tosses and turns so much that it interrupts my sleep.
He hits and kicks me in his sleep and on a weekly basis I get nosebleeds. I get maybe 3-4 hours of interrupted sleep a night and I am SO tired always. He passive-aggressively tells me I am chronically sleepy and that I am not allowed to sleep during the day for a nap, or even go to bed early because he will wake me up because he sees something funny on TikTok or whatever.
I have told him it is a huge issue for me that I can’t sleep but he just ignores me or brushes it off. I have a constant headache and my vision is blurry or weird most days because I am tired. I just really want to sleep.
If I ask him to sleep on the couch for a night just so I can get a good night’s sleep he refuses and goes to sleep in the bed, so if I want better sleep then I have to sleep on the couch because ‘why does he have to ruin his sleep because of me?’ And if I sleep on the couch, I have a bigger headache and my back/neck hurts but I do get more hours of sleep.
I asked him to get tested at the hospital for a sleep disorder, and he did, but now he can’t be bothered to get the results from the test, so we can move forward with something that might help us/me.
Am I just being over dramatic for such a small reason, as he tells me it is? I just don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t have the budget to go on vacation by myself and work won’t let me get time off to do so, yes I’ve asked.
Edit: We have been together for 7 years, I am his first relationship, and it has always been a problem. I used to have a great memory and was logical, but my head is messy now and I can’t remember much.
I had a mental breakdown a few years ago because of anxiety and depression, which I got help for and crawled back to a normal routine again, but I am not as I was before I met him.
I have suggested separate beds many times, but he doesn’t want that because he wishes to snuggle with me and maybe be intimate (which is a different issue.
I don’t feel like it but he says ‘Why can’t you just do it to make me happy?’ And I just don’t have the mental capacity to stand up for myself any longer in that area.)
He tells me that he is sleeping so he is not conscious of his actions and therefore should not be blamed for hitting me. And when I try to talk about the issues with sleep he rolls his eyes at me and says ‘Ughh, not this again’.
I really feel/felt like this was just me being stupid, and I feel like crying constantly because any hardship is just too much to handle, I can’t mentally think and handle anything else, and just doing what he tells me is easier because then he won’t become angry and passive-aggressive and punish me in some way.
Never violently, but throw something of mine out, stop the music I am listening to, or do psychical work like yard work.
It’s just hard to stand up for yourself when I feel so broken down in a way, I just got a new job where I work from home, so I am planning on saving up funds so I can start over.
It will take a little time, but until then I will sleep in a separate bed and stick with it.”
3. AITJ For Wearing My Partner's Military Uniform And Posting My Photo On Social Media?
“My (f25) partner (m29) is in the military. We’ve been together for 6 months and we live in different towns. He comes over to visit on weekends but I have never been to his hometown and whenever I try to visit he’s always busy.
He came over to spend the weekend with me and brought his military uniform. He was in the shower while his uniform was sitting on the bed. I felt bored and decided to put it on and took a picture of myself wearing it.
I then shared it on my social media account as my ‘story’ and thought nothing of it. But once he found out he blew up and started yelling at me saying I should have never touched his ‘work stuff’. I was baffled at his reaction.
I said I was just trying it on but he said that I was being reckless towards his work. When he found out I posted a picture of me in it he lost it completely. He told me he can’t believe I jeopardized his job for some nonsense and for some internet likes.
He was making me nervous so I told him he was overreacting, he kept mumbling that I screwed him over because the uniform had his name tag on it. I asked so what and he said that I don’t get to mess with his job and sabotage it with how I was acting.
We had a fight, he grabbed his stuff and went back to his hometown after demanding I take the picture down and wipe it off my phone.
I have been trying to contact him ever since but still got no reply.
I left him messages from Messenger and he reads them but doesn’t reply.
AITJ? I think I might have messed up but part of me says this was an overreaction on his part.”
2. AITJ For Telling My Best Friend To Reprimand Her Son For Pressuring My Son To Eat Cake?
“My son is 8 years old and recently attended his friend’s 8th birthday party.
This friend is my best friend’s son. I don’t let my son have any/much junk food at all and usually, he brings his own snacks (for this incident it was carrot sticks and ranch) to events that have a lot of sugary foods.
My best friend bakes a lot and made a special chocolate cake for her son’s birthday. When it comes to my son, I don’t let him have cake. This is a personal preference for his health, not for any allergy reasons, and he is not diabetic or gluten-free.
My son knows he isn’t allowed to have cake because of the additives. When he told his best friend this at the party, his friend apparently got upset and told him it was a ‘good cake’, not bad like I say, because his mom made it, and it was his birthday cake.
My son ate cake, got a sugar rush, and crashed, making him cranky for the rest of the day after we left the party.
I told my friend she needs to have some kind of consequences for her son to teach him not to peer pressure other children into eating things they’re not allowed to have.
She said because it wasn’t an issue of allergies or health, that she was sorry my son was cranky but she won’t be punishing her son or talking to him about it on his birthday. She says also that she’ll just watch him more closely/make sure her husband does in the future, as well as have a chat with him on another day about respecting food habits.
(I love my friend, but historically, she and her husband have always said ‘yes’ to their son and not given him any consequences for anything.)
Both of us were present at the party and did not see them sharing the cake (they were outside eating in the backyard with their fathers and some other parents supervising while we cleaned up) so it’s not an issue of anyone going behind anyone’s back, just teaching children boundaries and respect.
I let my son stay for the rest of the party and be with his friend, so it’s not like I ruined the day.
AITJ for being upset with my friend’s son and the fact that she won’t punish her son for pressuring my son into eating cake?”
1. AITJ For Not Letting My Daughter Enroll Into A Class That Is Dominated By Boys?
“In my country, kids apply to high school at 15. There are a few different types of schools, including academically focused ones where to get in, you have to have good grades and exam results. They accept based on that alone.
In school, kids have classes with the same kids for 3 years. They have to study all subjects but they pick a major which results in them studying 3-4 subjects at an advanced level.
My daughter, Kinga, is applying for schools now and lists were just published. It turns out that out of 30 kids in her class, 23 are boys.
Apparently, it’s not unusual in math major classes, biology classes tend to have more girls. Although, when we were touring the school, the previous year had more of an even split. But like I said, it’s grades based.
I sat my daughter down and told her I didn’t think it was the best idea for her to go to that class. That it wasn’t really appropriate and she won’t enjoy it. She told me she didn’t mind, she’s used to it, maths competitions are often full of boys and it’s a nonissue.
I dropped it but tried to talk to her about it later but she didn’t change her mind. I was pressed against the wall and had to put my foot down. I told her that as a mother, I have to help her make the right choice and I don’t think math class is it.
I told her that I will call on Monday to confirm her place in biology class. We argued and she screamed and threatened to leave to her dad’s and she locked herself in her room.
I spoke with my friend and she said I’m not wrong for not allowing her to go there but that I’m in the wrong for forcing her.
She suggested I should’ve been more gentle and persuaded her and make it seem like it was her idea from the get-go.
Am I the jerk for not allowing her to go to that class?”
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