People Anticipate Positive Comments On Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
38. AITJ For Not Helping My Uncle After What I Heard Him Say Years Ago?
“My dad married Kay when I was 3 and since then they had 2 more children, fraternal twins (Bill and Mary) who are 2 years younger than me. I have a great relationship with them.
Growing up, I noticed that Kay’s siblings (Gary and Theo) treated me a little differently from Mary and Bill. They seemed more excited to give Bill and Mary gifts than me and would invite them to go on family vacations but ask me in what seemed more like an afterthought.
I didn’t think much about it until a holiday gathering at our home. I was sent to give Kay a message and I overheard a conversation where Kay said she wished Gary would treat me the same as Bill and Mary because we were all her kids and Gary admitted that he and Theo didn’t consider me their niece because I wasn’t a blood relative.
I felt hurt because they didn’t see me the way I saw them.
At the end of the night, when Gary was leaving, I pulled him to the side privately. I told him I had overheard what he had said to Kay and was thankful to know how he saw me and that I was okay with it.
He tried to say something, but I stopped him. At 14, I just didn’t think I needed an explanation because I couldn’t unhear what I heard. I just quietly said goodnight and went back inside. I did talk to my dad and Kay a few days later and explained what I heard and how I felt and that I was ok with it.
After that, I stopped calling Gary and Theo uncle. I put them in the ‘we have family in common’ category. At family gatherings, I was friendly in talking like I normally would, but I didn’t engage them outside of those events.
Fast forward a bit.
I graduated at 17 and went to college. My mom got diagnosed with an illness and I switched to online to be with her. She passed away a week after my 18th birthday. She was an only child and very well off, so she left me everything.
I paid for my college as well as gifted Bill and Mary money to pay for their college.
Zip forward I’m 29. A month ago, I received a call from a number I didn’t know so I didn’t answer. I heard the message later.
It was Gary asking me to call him. I hadn’t spoken to him since I went off to college. He called several more times, but I just ignored it. Well, Kay called. She had given him my number. I spoke with Gary. He did some small talk and then said he needed help.
I didn’t understand it all, but he needs a transplant and has to show proof of a certain amount of fund for surgery and for post-surgery things. He wanted to know if I could help him. I politely declined but wished him well in finding a solution.
The next day, I got a call from my dad saying I should help Gary because he was going through a lot and Kay was really worried. I told my dad, I would have gladly written the check for family, but Gary isn’t. Since then, my siblings have called me saying I’m a jerk when I have the means but won’t help.
I almost caved. AITJ?”
37. WIBTJ If I Remove My Roommate's Only Hobby From Our House?
“In June 2021 we let a (now former) friend move into our renovated garage with 4 days of notice with his extremely high-energy breed puppy. The space is furnished with a bed, dresser, TV, and Firestick with all our subscriptions logged in. He paid us $200 a month to rent this space.
The average market rent for this space would be $800 per month. We did this expressly as a SHORT-TERM situation so he could get a new job and save up for his own place.
It is now March of 2022. During this time, he has squandered all his money from his job where he makes over $3k per month.
His dog lives in its crate except for the ten minutes a day he tosses a ball for it outside. His dog has caused quite a bit of damage to our landscaping that he has been made aware of and has done nothing to repair/replace, even when asked. The dog poop piles up until multiple reminders have been given for him to clean up.
He was given a 60-day notice yesterday and threw a fit about it. Apparently, it was ‘cruel and hurtful’ to imply that he wouldn’t be moved out by the 1st of May when he allegedly has a rental lined up. He informed us he has no savings, and despite that being the sole purpose we agreed to the arrangement.
We have ‘taken advantage of him’ and his situation, somehow, despite including him in dinners for the past 8 months, taking care of his dog while he’s at work, training his dog, allowing him to use our subscription services, etc., and that he no longer considers us friends of any kind.
WIBTJ for removing the luxury items of our big TV and Firestick? All he does is watch TV, so it would be removing his only hobby.”
36. AITJ For Not Wanting My Mother's Partner At My Wedding?
“My mother’s partner of 15 years is the worst human being imaginable. He is nasty, condescending, homophobic, racist, and speaks to everyone like they are 2. Because I went to university and my sister didn’t he calls her the dumb one, and at the same time, he talks to me like I am stupid and my degree and insurance broking job means nothing.
He is even worse with my fiance who has called him fat to his face numerous times, called him stupid, a jerkhead, and goes out of his way to talk to him in a baby voice. This has been going on for the 6 years my fiance and I have been together to the point my fiance feels like utter crap whenever he is around my mother’s partner, to the point he hates family gatherings and does anything to avoid going.
Anyway, I (22 turning 23 F) will cut forward to the issue I am having. Basically, my fiance (23 turning 24 M) has said that under no circumstances will we invite my mother’s partner, and to be honest I don’t want him to attend either. My fiance had point-blank said if he was invited there wouldn’t be a wedding and he’d rather elope.
The reason is that he does not want to feel like crap at his own wedding, and I believe everyone should have the right to be comfortable at their own wedding.
I knew this would cause problems, but my fiance’s reasons are valid and I share his concerns about my mother’s partner ruining our entire moods.
Also, as his partner and future wife, I should stand by him (within reason)
So I told my mother…
She screamed that she has been with him for 15 years (they still don’t live together), that you don’t just not invite people’s partners, that I should stand behind basic principles, and that I am being selfish and deliberately hurting her.
She also said she would be so embarrassed if her partner didn’t come, especially when my dad and stepmum would be there.
To counter her I said the reasons that I gave and listed all the times that her partner has gone out of his way to insult my fiance and me.
I said this is not about her but rather that her partner’s actions have burned bridges with my fiance (although I don’t want him there I would be more willing to compromise, but this isn’t just about me), and this is also my fiance’s wedding and he is entitled to not be angry/irritated/upset during it.
My mother then called my fiance controlling, that she wouldn’t be coming and that when we broke up I would have no one in my family. She also said that no one in the family had ever liked my fiance, that he wasn’t right for me, that we should break up, etc. She has got her side of the family agreeing with her, however, my dad and stepmother, and step-siblings are firmly with me.
Now my mother’s side of the family is calling me a jerk for being cruel and unreasonable. While my dad’s side is saying stick to my guns and don’t let her get her own way.
All I have been doing is crying since.
Am I the jerk?”
35. AITJ For Deleting My Photos With My Significant Other?
“I (18 M) graduated high school around 2 months back, and the event itself was good, and to be honest, I had a bit of fun too. I was going out with this girl (18 F) from my class, let’s call her N, and she is a very insecure person.
Jealous, too. Up to the point where she didn’t let me take pictures with any female classmates of mine, whereas everyone else took pictures with everyone else.
A few days before the graduation ceremony, it was our last school day, and everyone wore formal clothes and looked all handsome/pretty and took pictures with everyone, and me and N also did.
I came home and she started egging me on to post them, but the pictures were honestly crappy and had some issue or the other, so I promised N that I’d post our graduation pictures, whenever that day might come. She wasn’t happy at all and said that I didn’t want people to know that she was in my life and that I was embarrassed by her, which wasn’t true at all.
So the day comes, I take a load of pics with N and her best friend A, and post it. Mind you, she was being so awkward it was too hard to actually get her to pose for pictures. Still, even though the graduation was in the evening, and I reached home at like 2 in the morning, I still stayed up and edited the pics and posted them.
In the morning I asked her how they were, and she said I shouldn’t have posted the pictures in which A was.
We had a big argument and by the end of it, she said that she was sure about me having an affair with A (which isn’t true at all).
When I tried to argue against it, she said ‘Screw you’ and blocked me. At this point even I was a little angry at her, so I went and deleted every post she was in.
Now today, after 2 months of not talking, A tells me that N was upset that I deleted N’s pictures.
AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Causing My Bully To Get Kicked Out Of A Class?
“High school senior here. I am in a college-prep elective that you stay in for your entire high school career. If you quit or get kicked out, there will not even be a record on your school transcript that you took the elective.
In freshman year, I had a desk next to this bully named Jace both in the college-prep elective and my biology class. Jace would ask me things like when I was planning to get knocked up by an American guy so I could get my green card.
He would also comment on my clothes and say how clearly I took them with me when I hopped the border.
Jace got in trouble when I told my biology teacher. Jace got yelled at and had his desk moved away from me. He kept saying racist stuff and bothered me even more in our college-prep class, but we went online before I got a chance to tell my college-prep teacher, Mrs. Gordon.
During Zoom, we shared an English class and Jace literally said ‘Remember, Jocelyn. We speak English here, si-si?’ in a breakout room. Luckily, we didn’t have any classes in Junior year, and I haven’t had to see him since then.
Every year, seniors in the college-prep elective are in charge of organizing a fundraiser for the program.
We form several ‘committees’ that work on different parts of the fundraiser (advertising committee, design committee, etc.) Mrs. Gordon gave us a Google form to choose preferred committees/groupmates that she would do her best to assign us. I wrote in the form that my only request was to not be a group with Jace and I was okay with any committee.
Mrs. Gordon called me to her desk later and asked why I requested not to be with Jace. I tried being vague and saying we just didn’t work well together, but Mrs. Gordon kept pushing to know the specific reason. I explained to her some of the things Jace would say about me and he never apologized to me so I really don’t know if he’s changed since sophomore year.
Mrs. Gordon thanked me for letting her know and I forgot about it until last Wednesday.
I found out that Jace got kicked out of the elective. Jace had been on his last leg in terms of sucky behavior and what I told Mrs. Gordon was the final straw for her.
A lot of classmates agreed Jace was a jerk in freshman/sophomore year but swore that Jace was really trying hard to turn things around and it was unfair for him to get kicked out because of something he said over a year ago.
My classmates only knew that Jace’s last straw was something he said years ago, they didn’t know I was the one who told Mrs. Gordon about it.
My friends said ultimately Mrs. Gordon kicked Jace out so it’s not my fault anyway. But my sister, Elena told me I shouldn’t have written/said what I did to Mrs. Gordon unless Jace actually started an immediate problem. She also pointed out that Mrs. Gordon prefers to make boy-exclusive/girl-exclusive groups and I probably wouldn’t have been in the same group as Jace anyway.
There’s nothing I can really do about it now, but it’s still been weighing on me.”
33. WIBTJ If I Offer My Milk To My Pregnant Cousin?
“I recently lost my 9-week-old daughter to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and it has been a traumatic time for me I won’t lie, my cousin is due any day now with her own baby, a girl too. My cousin had a double mastectomy to combat cancer 4 years ago and this girl was conceived from an embryo she and her husband had frozen before she began treatment.
This does however mean she won’t be able to nurse and there is a formula shortage right now.
I am still producing milk and it seems a waste to dispose of it. My cousin and I grew up like sisters and had plans for our children to grow up similarly she even planned the implantation of the embryo around when I was trying to fall pregnant to ensure their ages were close.
I want to offer my milk to my cousin for her baby as someone should make use of it and I love my cousin and her future baby.
To be clear as I know some people will misunderstand, I do not want to nurse her baby, I would pump the milk as I’m doing right now anyway and drop it around at her house.
I have no health issues or anything that would make this milk problematic for her baby.
My issue is I wonder if asking this would be insensitive and a reminder of my loss and also her own inability to nurse her child. I’ve not been in the best of places because of my grief and I’m aware enough to know that perhaps that is making me unable to judge if this would be a step too far or inappropriate.
Would this be out of line to offer? I’d not push if she said no of course.”
32. AITJ For Not Helping My Brother With His Finances?
“Back in March I had my gender reveal party at a hall, my husband and I paid for catering, decorations, desserts, centerpieces, and candy for a candy buffet.
The only thing we didn’t do was the signs which one of my brothers took care of as he is good with woodworking. My eldest brother has 2 (older 12 and 13) children from his previous relationship, then got married and now has 2 more little ones (under 10).
I have never met his new wife, they just got eloped in March and none of my family has met her. They are now 18 weeks pregnant and will find out about the baby’s gender in a few weeks.
I was talking to my husband and we decided to gift them $800.
My elder brother asked if we could throw him and his wife a gender reveal party instead at the same hall we did ours at. I said it was a little more than $800, considering the hall rental, rental deposit, desserts, candy buffet, catering, baby shower favors, and centerpiece flowers.
I do have most of the stuff saved (centerpiece jars, tablecloths, candy buffet jars, and some games from the party). But he even wants a backdrop which my friend did for me for free, she would charge him $150 for this since he is family.
He said he really wants this and if everyone paid for it, we can make it happen.
I suggested a smaller venue or even a luxury picnic (I have the decorations for that) and would be more than happy to set aside a portion of what we were going to give him from the $800 for the catering. He was taken aback as he thought we were going to give him the $800 on top of the party.
He said stop being cheap you guys have the budget and you have never done anything nice for me and my kids.
This is true I was going to university when he had his children so I was always broke. But I’m not working at the moment, I’m on maternity leave so cheques are small and the money is coming from my husband who is not really close to my eldest brother.
He called me a cheap jerk and said I have funds saved up so stop holding back. Now I don’t want to give him anything and my other brothers don’t want to give him anything either. AITJ if I don’t give him anything at all now for his crummy attitude?”
31. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be The First One To Apologize?
“A week ago, I (22 f) was having some pretty serious chest pain and my resting heart rate was up in the 140s. I asked my sister to take me to the hospital and she complained about me making her late for something the entire time she drove.
When we got to the ER she left me there and after I managed to get inside they wheeled me back almost immediately. Long story short, I ended up being hospitalized.
I called my dad to tell him where I was and that I was alone.
He started scolding me for driving myself there on my own and not calling him to begin with, but I told him that my sister had taken me. He asked why she wasn’t there with me then and I told him what happened. He seemed mad but he never talked to her about it afterwards.
I was sent home today with a heart monitor and a few appointments lined up. My brother and his husband (who’s a nurse) are making me stay with them until I’m deemed ‘totally okay’ by a medical professional. I called my dad and a few other ppl just to inform them that I was doing okay and that I’d be at my brother’s place.
The only person I didn’t call was my sister. Honestly, I just didn’t think about it at first, I only called the people who’d been in contact with me when I was in the hospital, and when I did remember that I hadn’t told her, I figured someone would.
My brother went to our dad’s house to pack a bag for me & my sister asked him what he was doing there. He told her what was going on & she called me sounding really upset.
She asked why I wouldn’t have told her that I was getting out of the hospital, or why I didn’t say that things were so serious that our nurse BIL wanted to keep an eye on me.
I said I just didn’t think about calling her, and that made her even more upset bc she felt I was basically saying that she wasn’t important enough for me to call.
Later after we hung up, my dad ended up calling to tell me how hurt my sister was by what I’d done and that I needed to apologize to her for it.
I told my dad that he was being hypocritical and that if anything, she should have apologized to me a week ago. He said I’m being petty and I needed to be the bigger person, but I told him I wouldn’t budge until she said sorry.
My brother is mad that my dad called me to scold me in the first place, and he told me not to worry about any of what my dad and sister are saying but I don’t know. I’m kind of wondering now if I’m being petty about this.”
30. AITJ For Prohibiting My Flatmate From Entering My Room?
“I (21 F) work in a restaurant and I have some kinda late hours, I usually get home around 10-11 pm.
I got a text around 6 p.m. from my flatmate (21 F) that she needed the dehumidifier that was in my room. Had I been home I would have given it to her right away but since I was at work I told her sorry but to wait for me to get home.
She responded that she couldn’t wait with no explanation. I pushed forward and said no don’t go into my room, it’s messy. I’ve personally had some hardships recently and I’ve been dealing with poor mental health, my room is depression messy.
My friends and flatmates not being allowed in my room is very common for me especially when it’s like this, I’m so embarrassed and protective over my room. She knows this and doesn’t go near my room when it’s like this.
Her reason for needing the dehumidifier right away was that she was recovering an old chair in her room and when she pulled off the fabric it was covered in mold. She told me this over text and I still responded with wait for me to get home, like 3-4 hours, and that she should take the chair out of her room.
I was told that I was being selfish and putting her health at risk. She brought up my mental health and told me that I needed to talk to my therapist because I care more about my room than her. I reminded her that her not going into my room was a boundary I set up and have consistently had and that I would be mad if she went into my room.
She said that she respected this boundary but by asking me first (she didn’t ask) she thought I should care about and trust her more. I didn’t respond because I didn’t want to say something I would regret. In the end, she did go into my room and got the dehumidifier.
Sorry if this seems childish but I’m really upset about it.
AITJ for not letting my flatmate go into my room even if it risked her health?”
29. AITJ For Making A Joke About My Being A Trans Man?
“I (26 M) am a trans man. I was a late bloomer and identified as a woman up to around six years ago, so I had an ‘authentic,’ so to speak, female experience growing up and into my early adulthood. I only started medically transitioning a little over three years ago and only pass about 60/40ish of the time, and still am in touch with my feminine side, so I don’t feel too removed from misogyny myself if that makes sense.
I also own a food truck and specialize in sandwiches, mostly grilled cheeses and melts. I’m happy with it and take pride in my work though it doesn’t make much, but that’s partially by design as I’m parked across from a high school and want to keep it accessible to students who may not have a lot of funds like me growing up.
Anyway, the problem was when a small crowd of maybe six students or so began lining up during lunch (summer school), and there were two boys in the front. One was a semi-regular and was gushing about my sandwiches to his friend and I was semi-involved in the conversation.
I don’t exactly remember what they asked or said, but I responded with a quip that I’ve said a few times before: ‘I may not be a woman anymore, but I sure do know how to make a sandwich!’ They loved it, but I quickly noticed that two girls behind them had less-than-pleased expressions and left the line soon after.
I thought I glimpsed one taking a picture of my truck but was too preoccupied to care much.
Turns out, they’ve essentially been running a smear campaign against me on Instagram and maybe Twitter, or at least trying to. It hasn’t been getting much attention.
However, this was enough to ask my (mostly queer and/or female) friends if my comment was really worth this reception, and they’re pretty divided. Most lean somewhat tentatively towards the side that I don’t deserve a smear campaign if nothing else. Some say I should have kept that comment as a private joke, and some say I shouldn’t have said it at all.
AITJ?”
I get you are comfortable in your transformation and so you should be... some people as you know less accommodating
Good luck with your food truck though sounds like they are delicious and good on you for helping our the less fortunate kids x
28. AITJ For Not Wanting My Partner To Change My Wound Bandages?
“I was recently diagnosed with an extremely rare autoimmune disorder, Pyoderma Gangreosum. It causes blisters on my skin that eventually erode into huge ulcers. These ulcers are very hard to heal and extremely difficult to manage. Everything that someone thinks they know about about wound care goes out the window.
The standard wound care regimen WILL cause my wounds to progress in size and depth.
I work closely with a Rheumatologist and am on medication to stop my body from rejecting my skin. I had to stop my three-times-a-week wound care appts because the doctor was too aggressive and caused me to regress majorly to the point I could not walk.
I have taken charge of my own wound care and at times it’s hard to manage because it’s hard to look at your own skin so disfigured but at the end of the day nobody is going to do it as well as you would do it for yourself.
My partner, Steve, just got home from a 6-week trip. He went to visit my brother and help him settle into his new house. Steve is a real man’s man but he’s also incredibly meticulous, and clean, and that’s just who he is. Before these health problems, he would regularly trim my nails and toes for me.
I trust him with my life! But he’s also very rigid and set in his ways.
He does not know very much about Pyoderma and continues to make comments on things I should be doing that I KNOW if I did would land me in the hospital within 24 hours.
He’s insistent I allow him to treat my wounds and I am adamantly saying no. I will do it myself.
He is so mad he wants to break up with me and I’m like in the middle of a wound change and simply cannot care, so I’m like OK BYE!
I begged him to please just leave me alone and he swears I’m a huge jerk.
AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Planning On Getting Our Baby Breastfed?
“My (26 m) wife (25 f) and I are expecting our first child in a couple of months. My mom (50 f) was over at our house helping us go through and set up baby things for our nursery (the plan is to have the baby sleep in our room at first but we are still setting up his own room now so we don’t have to later).
My mom opened up a box that a breast pump for my wife in it. She asked us why we had a breast pump and at first, I was a little confused on why she was asking because I thought it was obvious but I told her it’s so my wife can pump and we can freeze milk and everything.
My mom then asked why my wife would need to breast pump if we weren’t breastfeeding the baby and my wife said we were. (I know that you can’t exactly plan to breastfeed because things can go wrong and sometimes you just can’t but we want to try).
My mom was really upset when my wife told her this. She said she didn’t understand why we decided to breastfeed because she formula-fed me and my siblings and we turned out just fine. I told her I know but it’s just the decision we made.
My wife explained that we talked to the doctor about the benefits of breastfeeding and based on his suggestion and the formula shortage going on we thought trying to breastfeed would be best.
My mom got even more upset and started to get angry too.
She said that I valued the doctor’s opinion over my own mother’s. I told her that I do value her opinion but we are firm with our decision. She got upset and said that I didn’t value her opinion because I would listen to her if I did.
I again told her I do value her opinion but when it comes down to my child her doesn’t actually matter. My opinion and my wife’s opinion matter and we both think breastfeeding is the right choice for us.
She left in tears.
My wife agrees that it’s our decision but says I may have been a bit harsh. my brother and sister both messaged me. They said my mom is really upset and thinks we should formula feed. They said I was a jerk for saying her opinion didn’t matter and not taking hers into consideration.
AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Not Caring If My Brother Goes To My Wedding Or Not?
“I’m (28 M) getting married in a couple of months and planning is pretty much 99% finished. We are very very excited to be married and celebrate with our best friends and (most of) our families.
There is some drama, I have 4 groomsmen plus my best man.
My best man is my step-bro ‘Mike’. Our parents (my dad, his mom) got married when we were both 6 so we grew up together and despite not being blood-related, I 100% consider him my brother and best friend.
My mom also got remarried and had my brother ‘Jake’ who is 3 years younger than me. Jake and I have never really been that close. Partially because of the split custody thing but we also just don’t have much in common. I’m really into sports and being active, he’s more into video games and art.
Nothing wrong with that, just not my interests.
Apparently, he got really offended at not being a groomsman and said the fact that my ‘not even real’ brother is my best man is rubbing salt in the wound. I told him sorry he feels that way but my fiancee and I have our wedding party set, but still want him there to celebrate with us.
He told me he was boycotting the wedding. I told him, sorry to hear that but it’s his choice. Now my mom is asking me to make amends and if not add him to the wedding party at least beg him to come and tell him how much I want him there.
To be honest, though I don’t really care if he’s there or not, he was obviously invited but if he doesn’t want to celebrate with me I think that’s on him. My mom called me again yesterday trying to get me to reconsider telling me ‘he wants to go but he wants to know that he’s wanted’.
I told her, he was invited and therefore wanted, but I have enough things to stress about without this. Now she and her husband and both telling me I’m being a jerk about it. I feel like I did my part by inviting him but this is causing what I think is unnecessary drama.”
25. AITJ For Making My Coworker Quit?
“I am a daddy’s girl. I am very close to my dad, to the point that my mom always says jokingly that when I’m getting married she’ll ship my dad with me.
So here’s what happened, a new girl works with me at my job and in some conversations when we have lunch, I forget mine or I don’t have money (I’m the kind of person that would forget my head if it wasn’t attached to my neck), I always call my dad and end it with ok love you bye, Mwah.
And one day I don’t know why but when it happened and I hung up she said ‘Wow, OP don’t you have a man?’ Me: ‘No, why?’ Her: ‘It seems like you rely on your dad a lot, shouldn’t you look for a man to do these things for you, what if you’re disturbing your dad?’ Me: ‘I’m not really interested in seeing someone and my dad doesn’t mind’ Her: ‘So you’re a daddy’s girl’ Me: ‘Yes, I love my dad a lot’.
So that was the end of that or so I thought.
The next day I heard rumors flying around about me and my rich father. I was upset so I tracked the rumors down and saw that it was my co-worker who started them. So I went to report to my boss (we don’t have HR) and there was a hearing, she (my coworker) said that she didn’t mean for it to get out of hand it just happened and she ‘apologized’.
So after the hearing, my boss stopped me and said that I shouldn’t take offense, because she (my coworker) didn’t have the best of relationships with her dad.
So after I got home, I told my mom and she gave me an idea. We made a shirt with my dad and I hugging together on it and on the bottom it says proud to be a daddy’s girl.
So I wore it to work the following day. The look on her face was shocking, she looked at me like I had stolen her puppy.
So the next day I wore the shirt again, but she wasn’t there. Then my boss called me to her office and tells me that she (my coworker) quit, because I was toxic and that what I did was wrong.
Now I’m feeling bad, my parents are on my side but I need an unbiased opinion. AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Not Wanting To Wear A Dress To My Sister's Wedding?
“I’m non-binary and I use they/them pronouns, but I identified as a woman for the first 20-ish years of my life. My twin sister (25 F) is getting married in January and I am going to be in the wedding party.
My sister is very traditional, which is fine but she’s also very opinionated. My entire life she has told us that she’s going to be a bridezilla, and it’s already begun.
She’s gotten upset with me and our other sibling over stuff we’re doing now and how it might affect her wedding. For example, a couple of weeks ago, our sibling (22, also uses they/them) dyed their hair pink, and when they sent a picture in our family group chat our sister didn’t respond.
My sibling tells me later that my twin messaged them separately saying that she liked it, but she’s worried it’ll clash with her wedding colors. This is just the tip of the iceberg of some of her behavior, but moving on to the current conflict.
We’ve had a couple of conversations about my role in the wedding and what will be different, for example, she wants to still call me a maid of honor. That didn’t bother me much but what does bother me is her insistence that I wear a dress.
I have been 100% open about how I do not want to wear a dress for years, and her first reaction a couple of years ago was ‘You really wouldn’t wear a dress for me on my wedding day?’
This was before she was engaged and was brought up just in passing, but now that there’s a set date I was hoping that she would be more understanding.
Spoiler alert: she still thinks I should wear a dress! The way she talks about it is like I’m intentionally hurting her when I’ve told her that wearing a dress would make me unbelievably uncomfortable and she would never ask me to do this if I was a trans man.
We haven’t talked about it in a while but I worry that I’m being unreasonable or selfish. I’ve told her that I’m so down to wear a jumpsuit or something in the same color as the dresses, I’m truly trying to be as flexible as possible while still maintaining my own comfort, but she still seems upset.
AITJ?”
23. AITJ For How I Described My Mother-In-Law's Stir-Fried Beef?
“My (35 F) husband (41 M) is extremely angry with me over this.
My husband works from home and I work outside the home. His mom comes to our house a few times a week to help my husband take care of our child.
Yesterday, while she was at our house, she cooked up some stir-fried beef, left it in our fridge, and went home as usual when I got back from work. It was the first time she’d ever cooked something for us like this (although I’ve eaten her cooking at family gatherings at her home).
At dinner time, my husband pulled the beef out of the fridge. I’m not a huge fan of this particular dish, but I ate some and casually said, ‘Hm, not bad.’
He was shocked that I would say something so dismissive about his mother’s cooking.
He went on a rant about how rude I was being, I’m disrespecting his mom, no one else has ever talked about his mother so disrespectfully, and if anybody else were to say something negative about his mom, he would cut them out of his life.
I tried to explain to him that my comment had nothing to do with his mom as a person; honestly, I was just surprised to find that the beef was better than I expected and the words that came to me were ‘not bad.’ He is convinced that I don’t respect his mom.
I have never said anything bad about my mother-in-law, her character, her personality, etc. I have never had a conflict with her. I have never badmouthed her to my husband. I have felt some irritation here and there with minor differences in approaches to raising a child, for example, but I’ve kept it to myself.
Maybe my husband has picked up on that. But if she’d been at the dinner table with us, I probably would’ve either said something a little nicer about the dish or said nothing at all.
Apparently, my husband has been building up resentment and convincing himself that I hate his mom due to some little spats he and I have had in the past few weeks about various household chore stuff that is tangential to his mom being here during the day, but nothing directly about her.
I apologized for coming across as rude and for not showing more appreciation that his mom cooked for us. He is still angry and is now giving me the silent treatment. So… was I wrong to say ‘not bad’? Should I have been more appreciative?
AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Not Hiring Someone I Bullied In Middle School?
“I was an awful kid in middle school. I was mean, cruel, and angry at everyone. It resulted in me bullying a kid really, really bad. I’d call him names, pull ‘pranks’, and even embarrass him in front of the girl he likes.
His mom was on the school board, so it led to a general assembly in which we had a long talk. I can’t say how his mom found out, all I can say is he had written a letter and I think you guess what he planned to do to the school and himself.
After, I felt really sick. I had driven a person to that because of my own stupid problems. I immediately turned myself in, took my suspension, and then laid low for the rest of the year. We ended up going to separate schools and universities but ended up working in the same industry, in the same town.
I’ve done well for myself. I have a really good job, and I’ve basically been moved up into a managerial position. Recently, we have a new open position. I found out that the kid I bullied applied for the position. I’ll admit I was a bit nervous because of our history, but I pushed it aside and knew I needed to make the apology or move to another department if he was qualified but unwilling to work with me.
However, he bombed the interview. He interviewed a woman on our team I highly respect, and he treated her like garbage. Then, through some digging (yes, this is code for gossip, the whole industry is filled with it), it became clear that he was just like that.
He treated his former coworkers very poorly as well. So, we couldn’t have him here.
We denied going forward with his application. However, I guess he knew it was my team because he reached out over LinkedIn. I didn’t think it was appropriate, so I ignored his message.
This led to him making a tweet on Twitter (we have shared mutuals so I saw the retweets) about how bullies never change.
It made me feel really bad because I do want to make things right with him, and I’m sure that being bullied really badly didn’t help with his emotional adjustment.
I just don’t want to put my team in a hostile work environment. AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Flaunting My Money And Car To My Stepfather?
“I (early thirties female) have 2 children that were born when I was 21 and 22. My daughter (eldest) was in an accident but my second daughter was deliberate as I found out that I needed a hysterectomy due to medical reasons and being an only child and psych major I believed it was important that my daughter had a sibling.
At the time I had recently (amicably) split from my partner and my stepfather was strongly against me further ruining my life by having another child due to his belief that you cannot be successful as a singer parent. I ended up having no contact with my mum, stepfather, and 2 half siblings (at the time 10 and 9) over this.
My stepfather is in no position to talk as he and mum are far from well off since he chewed through my mum’s savings.
About 2 years ago my mum reached out to me as she was diagnosed with cancer. She came through it and is now in remission.
I am not as close with them as I used to be but things have been improving.
However, my stepfather keeps going on about how I never made it because I don’t have a nice car or a fancy apartment in the city or a husband and insisting that I must be poor because I’m not materialistic.
I got used to being frugal in my early 20s when I was a poor uni student with 2 kids and just never really changed. I have a very nice government job with a 6 figure salary where I work from home but I drive a 2009 Nissan and I own a nice house in the country because I don’t see the point in buying a city apartment that I don’t need or a flashy car that will have a trashy km to L ratio.
Things came to a head at a recent family dinner when I told my mum about a budget place to get tires from (hers are almost bald) and my stepfather said ‘Good to have a poor person in the family so we know where the deals are’.
I got mad and told him to stop assuming things about me and walked out with my kids.
Yesterday I notified them of the 60k trust I have set up for my half-siblings uni trust fund and took them to buy a vehicle each so they can get to uni.
Both are starting this year. I deliberately left the windscreen price stickers on so my stepfather would see how much I spent.
Today my stepfather called me ranting about how I was showing off and how I should keep my mouth shut and respect my elders.
My mum texted to say that he’s furious at her for ever contacting me. AITJ here?”
20. AITJ For Not Giving My Sister A Place To Stay?
“I (26 f) am not close to my sister Ella (23 f). I’m not sure we were ever close. But our issues go all the way back to our childhood.
She was always very demanding. She expected people to do stuff for her, crying about it when you didn’t say yes, and making mistakes that she would blame others for and expecting them to happily take the blame and pick up the slack. I got in trouble because of her more than once.
It actually made me pull away from my parents because they expected me to be a good big sister to her and take care of her.
The relationship hit rock bottom when I was 17 and she was 14. She was a jerk to one of the girls in her Math class and when the girl told her siblings, they made sure my sister was excluded from stuff other kids were doing.
She told them I wouldn’t let them do that to me. But I did nothing to help her. I told her she was on her own. She was so mad at me for that. She blamed me for her being bullied.
At that point, she had done her own share of bullying of others and using others to protect her and I figured she deserved to know what it was like on the other side.
Plus she had turned the blame on me for one of her previous times bullying. And you can imagine I was in trouble until everyone realized it was her. Because I was 4 years older than the poor girl.
She stopped expecting me to do stuff for her.
Then when she was 17 she wanted out of our parents’ house. She wanted to be able to party and skip school and she wanted a cooler bedroom. So she asked to live with me. I was very quick with my no. She broke into the house I was renting and invited some of her friends over, and the house was messed up.
I was 100% done with her after that. My ex-landlord had not been happy. My parents hated that I got the police involved.
Now it’s been several years since I have seen her. She was with a guy for most of the last six years and had two kids for him.
He screwed her over in so many ways and left. She’s jobless, has two kids, their father is MIA and the courts are trying to track him down. She was living about 30 minutes from me and about two hours from our parents. I was asked to help her out.
Let her stay with me for a while or be a sister and support her. I ignored my parents. I essentially cut them off. I ignored my sister too. She asked me for my help. She told me she wanted to do better and knew I would be able to help her better than our parents would.
My aunt and grandma aren’t happy that I’ve ignored her and I won’t help. They have tried to use the fact we’re ‘sisters’ to spark some care in me. But the truth is I cannot stand her and I don’t care about her enough to help her or her kids.
They’re nothing but strangers to me. And she’s not someone I want in my life.
AITJ though? I guess I have some small doubts about how I have handled this.”
19. AITJ For Punishing My Daughter For Waking Up Her Dad?
“So my husband was in the hospital for some health issues. He’s anemic so he has issues with breathing, has limited movement, and needs bed rest, and this can be hard with kids in the house. We have 3 kids, the older 2 have their own school and after-school duties to take care of.
But my 4-year-old daughter ‘Caitlin’ is home all the time. She is incredibly attached to her dad and wants to spend a lot of time with him, especially after he gets out of the hospital. The thing is she always wakes him up from his sleep and stays in the bed with him and refuses to leave the room.
I already told her many times how important it is for Daddy to rest but she keeps making excuses to see him like making him his favorite sandwich or bringing him some water. I tried to keep the bedroom door closed but she opened it and easily slid in.
Sometimes I don’t see her there til later. I see that she woke her dad up and I get mad at her.
Yesterday, I was in the bathroom at 10 pm thinking she was in bed but when I walked into the bedroom I found her there with her dad already awake.
I got so mad at her that I told her I already said no to leaving her own bed and not waking Daddy up but she said she wanted to try to read him a story before he fell asleep. My husband said let her but I told her she was punished for this and will be punished every time she enters the room and disrupts her dad’s rest and sleep.
She began crying but I remained firm with her.
I took her to her room and she calmed down and then fell asleep. When I returned to the bedroom my husband said that I was way too hard on ‘Cat’ (he calls her ‘cat’ as her nickname).
And that he was okay with her coming in whenever she wanted. He told me punishing her was just too much and it sends her a message that showing care and affection is wrong. I said that wasn’t my goal with the punishment, I was just trying to teach her to respect that even with family there are still boundaries.
He still thinks I overreacted and that he’s worried Cat will stop showing care and affection but I doubt that.
AITJ? Did I really go far here?”
If he was asking you to keep her away then fine, but he likes having her there, so back off.
18. AITJ For Not Keeping My Ex's Secret From His Mom?
“I (28 F) was with ‘Andrew’ (29 M) for 7 years. We moved in together in 2019 but had to move apart last year due to work purposes; basically without over-complicating it, his parents’ house was the best option at the time for him to have a serviceable work environment.
Besides that, we’ve had a great relationship. We never fought or even disagreed on anything of actual importance. His family, all hard-working and genuinely good people, treated me like one of their own. He’s always been so respectful and I’ve done my best to give him the same respect.
As a result, there’s always been a lot of trust between us.
I found out recently that that trust wasn’t well-earned. He’s been seeing 2 other women since 2018 and has been meeting women online the whole time. It feels like all the goodness, all the harmony was fabricated to cover his indiscretions.
I broke it off and completely started ignoring him as well as his family. I didn’t want them to know what their son had done initially, I didn’t wanna hurt their relationship.
Then, Drew showed up at my house and begged me to talk it out with him.
Apparently, his parents didn’t understand why I’d ‘ghosted’ and were suspicious of the fact that Drew couldn’t give them a straight answer. He further explained that he didn’t want to hurt his parents and felt that if we just put it behind us, we could fix everything without his parents knowing.
This supremely made me mad but I tried to keep my chill as I explained that you can’t fix something that was held together by lies in the first place. This is when he admitted that his mom asked if there was disloyalty involved and Drew denied it.
I guess she doesn’t believe him because she’s threatening to kick him out unless she gets an explanation from ME, directly. I already knew she had terms about what would and wouldn’t be allowed under her roof and, to be honest, I think that if she’s suspicious of her own son’s behavior, she probably has a reason to be.
So here’s where I might be the jerk. I told him I didn’t care and that it wasn’t my problem anymore. I wasn’t going to say anything to her but that meant neither confirming nor denying the truth. He spent hours begging and even yelling at me but he eventually left after I threatened to call the cops if he didn’t go.
That was a week ago and Drew has been kicked out. His mom has sent me messages apologizing and said literally ‘I won’t allow my home to be treated like a dirty house.’ I haven’t responded partially because I said I wouldn’t but also because I’ve honestly just been too sad.
Drew has been couch surfing the past week and every single one of his friends has contacted me & said I’m a jerk because he was close close CLOSE with his mom and now I’ve ruined her view of her son. He’s also at risk of losing his job because he needs a specific setup and internet connection.
AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Making A Post About A Jealous Mean Girl, Causing Her To Get Bullied?
“I (20 F) hooked up with a guy called Ron (M 21) two years ago when I was visiting my home country over the summer. I was a single woman and there was no attachment to this. I also happened to hook up with one of my crushes in the same summer after he flirted with me for a while.
I am still friends with them on social media and recently Ron got a girl. She also added me on social media a few weeks ago. I didn’t think anything of it at first. Recently I got to know that she has been talking trash about me on a private girls group where she mentioned my name and profile for everyone to see.
Apparently, I am a flirt and a liar who slept with her significant other and multiple other men at the same time. I was really confused about what was happening so I tried to find out more at first.
So she has been stalking me and digging up my comments from years ago trying to prove that I was flirting with multiple men while giving them ‘hopes’ altogether.
I texted her SO first asking what did he tell her and what is she doing? He told me that she has been asking about his past in detail and he mentioned me normally and he doesn’t know about the rest. He said he would get back to me but never did.
I texted her with the screenshot of her post and demanded an explanation. She left me on seen and posted on that group again asking who snitched and sent it to me.
I tried to solve it the mature way but since she didn’t even bother to communicate with me, I made a social media post from my profile.
I took her name and posted a screenshot of her prior posts stating that this insecure pick-me witch has been going around tarnishing my reputation out of jealousy. I mentioned none of her exaggerated claims were true and provided my side of the story.
My post went viral and a lot of mutual friends including strangers started trolling her in the comments for this.
I also mentioned the guy in the comment and asked him again what in the world are they both trying to do to me.
Her best friend texted me asking to take down the post as I had proved my point. I said I would only do so if the girl apologized publicly or admitted her fault for spreading false rumors about me.
She told me that the guy broke up with her so she is not in a mental situation to ‘deal’ with me right now and I am causing her to hate me more.
I didn’t back out and now I am wondering if I’m the jerk here.”
16. WIBTJ If I Abandon My Family During A Vacation?
“My family decided to go to Florida for a few days, and it’s been pretty miserable for me. It originally was just supposed to be my brother (Eli) and mom, but then my other brother (Alex) and his wife decided they wanted to go and talked to me about going with them to help with driving/expenses.
Well now we are here and Alex and his wife decided that basically everything was going to revolve around them and have straight up said that they don’t really care about what anyone else thinks (which is easy for them because they have the car and Alex doesn’t want anyone else driving expect when traveling home).
My mom and I attempted to talk to Alex about it, and his response was basically that he and his wife were doing me a favor by allowing me to join them, that they didn’t really even need my help, and that they were just being nice to me.
So basically I’m laying in my hotel room completely unable to sleep and I’m thinking about just taking an Uber to the Greyhound station near me and going home. Alex generally has a very entitled attitude and he has a reputation of not really caring about anyone besides himself.
The thing is that I know that doing this will annoy my family, but at the same time I’m just tired of Alex treating me like garbage all the time and I kind of don’t care if it makes him mad. I don’t know, I’m just trying to decide if I’m going too far with this, I plan to use an ATM to leave behind what I owe him for the hotel as well as some extra gas money for his trip home.”
15. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be My Brother's Caretaker?
“I (27 M) have an autistic non-verbal sibling around my age. My mother (67 F) cares for him full-time. As my mother is getting older it’s getting increasingly difficult for her to care for him. During the global crisis, I moved back in to help her for about 18 months and it was physically and emotionally draining for both of us, especially as I’ve been dealing with a chronic health issue for the last few years.
Throughout my entire life, my mom has told me that my brother was going to be my responsibility when she passes away. This was never something I had balked at. As soon as I was old enough I became his legal standby guardian and when she passes I have already agreed to become his primary guardian and fiduciary.
While I’m currently no longer living with them, I still help manage his daily affairs by finding him doctors, setting his appointments, and helping to find and hire support staff, and have already told my mom I would take him for the entire summer so she can get a break and once a week after that.
The issue between my mother and me is where my brother will live when she isn’t able to care for him in a few years. She has been adamant that he has to live with me (or at least next door) and I will never be able to leave his side.
She is completely against putting him in a group home as she says he will be mistreated.
I’ve told her I don’t want to live with him because it would be a serious responsibility and would completely impact my ability to work, travel, and start a family.
When I say I want to live my own life she will say things like ‘You’re being selfish just like the other men in this family’ ‘He is your life’ ‘Your purpose in life is to care for him’ ‘He would do the same for you’ ‘You have to take care of your family’.
Recently, I feel like the things she’s saying are escalating to an uncomfortable level as she is saying things like, ‘If you don’t take care of him when I’m gone I will haunt you for the rest of your life’ and has on a few occasions mentioned ‘hearing stories’ of things parents would rather do to their child before putting them in a group home (I don’t want to break group rules here).
She has essentially saved no funds for him, and owns no property, but fully expects me to care for him on top of trying to start my own life. And while I have already agreed to manage his affairs and keep an eye on him wherever he is, anything short of him living with me or right next to me is seen as unacceptable.
She says that even though I’m not his parent I’m still family, and family takes care of each other. I want to help him, but I also want to be able to travel, start a family, and just have my own life independent of him.
Am I the jerk for being selfish and not wanting to live with him?”
14. AITJ For Telling My Grandmother I Can't Be Her Sole Caretaker?
“So I have been helping my grandmother with her chronic illnesses for over ten years. After my grandfather passed away in 2017 I quit a traveling job and got a job where I worked 4 10s so I could help her on my off days with showers and shopping.
Truth be told that job was a PR nightmare and her needs were increasing anyway so in 2019 I quit that job to take care of her full-time.
She is a fall risk who has fallen multiple times and I can’t help but feel like 2 years of full-time care with no sick time, no vacations, and no help, caused my caretaker burnout and that my burnout (and I) were some part responsible for her most recent fall where she ended up with a broken hip and had to do two months in a skilled nursing facility to get better enough to go home.
I keep telling her we have to hire help, and every time she gets angry with me. We explored why she doesn’t want outside help and she finally admitted ‘having outside help means I can’t do it by myself anymore’. I tried to reason with her and let her know that I was the one who needed the help helping her and that having help didn’t mean she couldn’t do it, I really just needed someone there to help me keep her safe.
One of her PTs at the nursing facility said he would make his mom go into a home if he was in my grandmother’s state, but my grandmother really doesn’t want to do that, so I want to help her age in place.
I kept telling her I needed help, and she kept getting angry at me (even resorting to a little light gaslighting and emotional manipulation to try and get her way) so I finally gave her an ultimatum: If there isn’t someone else who can help her do her wound care and shower and shop so that I can leave without having to worry about how she’ll get her basic care, then I can’t take care of her at all.
I cannot handle the pressure of being her sole caretaker if she falls again while I’m gone.
She told me she understood and we have care on the way but secretly told my mom (who is elderly herself and not physically able to give my grandmother the care she needs) that after a few weeks, she is going to send the caretakers away.
If she tries it I am fully prepared to pull out my ultimatum and tell her if she can’t work with my one condition (that we hire respite care) I can’t help her at all.
I am sick of her fear-based manipulation tactics and have taken on so many tasks where I have to care for her hygiene, which is something she told me she never wanted me to do when this all started. She tries to pay me more and more money, but I don’t want her money, I want help!
AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Telling My Friend's Partner About His Past?
“I (26 m) used to go to high school with this guy, we’ll call him Kevin (26 m). Back in the day, he used to be a huge bully, not sure now since honestly I completely wiped him from my mind. He used to torment LGBT kids and his go-to phrase used to be ‘Yo, that’s gay’.
I never liked him, not just for the homophobia, but he was genuinely just a piece of work in all regards.
Anyway, I was at a get-together on the weekend that my other friends from high school were hosting. Kevin was invited and he brought his male partner, which I found surprising since, well the above.
I just kinda stayed clear of him, since again, I just don’t like the guy.
At one point I stepped away for a smoke and his partner soon after joined me. He was talking to me, y’know small talk style – it got to the topic of how I knew Kevin, I told him from back in high school.
The guy asks ‘How was he back in high school? He doesn’t ever talk about it’ and I, being maybe too tipsy for my own good, said (paraphrasing since I think this was what I said) ‘Pretty bad I’d say, he was a pretty bad bully back in the day, he’s probably leaving LGBT people alone now given that he’s in a relationship with you I guess’.
The guy looked shocked, to say the least, and excused himself.
Well, apparently, things went down (I stayed out more to smoke more so I wasn’t there to see what happened). Apparently, the guy confronted Kevin and they left in a pretty grand fashion from what I was told.
People asked what we talked about to make the guy so mad, so I told them the above.
A few people were on my side saying Kevin had that coming, especially if he was keeping that a secret from his partner. But others said I shouldn’t have said anything and just said the generic ‘Oh yea, he was aight’ or something along those lines.
I got a vague message from Kevin the day after saying I ruined his life so now I’m here. Was I the jerk here? Should I have just kept my mouth shut about his past? I tend to say more than actually needed and I do feel bad for bringing up his past to his partner.
AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Not Apologizing To The Girl I Bullied Before Who's Now My Brother's Significant Other?
“Last week my (15 f) brother (17 m) began going out with this girl Jamie (15 f) who’s in my year. Jamie and I were never friends, however, when she first came about 3 years ago, the people I was friends with back then used to ‘bully’ her.
By ‘bullying’, I mean they’d sometimes make fun of her clothes, and because she used to smell really bad they’d hold their noses whenever they passed her – just typical immature behavior. I never really took part in it, and I don’t think what my ex-friends did was okay at all.
Anyway, yesterday my brother brought Jamie to our house for dinner, and she looked really uncomfortable when she saw me and hardly spoke to me. It was annoying, I’ll admit, but I didn’t say anything and just went to my room until it was time to eat.
During dinner, she didn’t speak much, and kept excusing herself to go to the bathroom. My brother said he didn’t know what was up with her, and my parents said she was probably just nervous. After she hadn’t come down in a while, I offered to go check up on her.
When I saw her, she was just standing near the bathroom, crying. I asked what was up, and she told me to shut up and stop trying to be nice. That annoyed me and I told her she had some nerve telling me to shut up in my own house.
I guess that really triggered something because she began screaming at me that I had no right to start being nice to her all of a sudden when I was cruel to her back then. I told her to get over herself because it happened three years ago, and if she was serious about my brother she shouldn’t speak to me like that.
She ended up leaving and my brother was devastated. After I told my parents and brother what had happened, my mum told me I was behaving really cruelly and I should’ve apologized, and my brother said the same. My dad says she should just get over it because we were all young back then, and I didn’t really take part in it anyway.
AITJ?”
You owe that girl an apology and an explanation as to why you didn't shut your friends down or were you worried they would turn on you too
11. WIBTJ If I Tell My Mother-In-Law That She Has To Do Household Chores?
“I live with my partner and kids, as well as his mother. We all moved into a larger house together 18 months ago.
The rent is higher than we could have afforded on our own, but with his mom contributing it was doable. She lives on passive income, and the amount she was to contribute was less than 20% of what she makes per month. So, not a bad deal for her, in my opinion.
Because my partner works and I do not, he does no chores. Like, doesn’t even rinse his dishes after meals. NO CHORES. I take care of the kids, get up at 5 AM to get them ready for school, pack lunches, etc. After they leave I get ready to go to class myself.
Now that all the kids are in school during the day, I decided to get a degree so that I could eventually find a job that would pay enough to be worth the hours. (Most jobs without degrees barely pay ‘poverty level’ wages in America, unfortunately.) After school, I do chores and homework until the kids get home.
I cook all the meals, and make extra portions for his mom as she feels left out otherwise, even if I’m just throwing some nuggets in the oven and chopping fresh veg and fruits for the kids and not even eating myself (I don’t always have time to sit down for dinner).
Anyway, the issue at hand: I recently found out that his mother has not been paying her share of the rent. He stopped asking her for it a few months after we moved in. No wonder he has been stressed about finances lately! I only learned this because he has asked me to get a part-time job and start contributing X amount to our monthly expenses.
I knew that our rent had increased upon resigning the lease a few months ago, but the amount he was asking me for far exceeded that. After questioning, he admitted that his mom had not contributed towards rent in over a year. He says he feels bad taking money from his mom, which I ‘kind of’ get?
As they have changed our (verbal) agreement over how bills would be paid (and, really, the only reason I consented to cohabitate with her). WIBTJ if I sat them down and told them that, if I need to find work 20-30 hrs per week to help ends meet, then his mom needs to take over the lion’s share of the household chores?
I really don’t see how I’ll have the hours in the day to handle everything, and I know he will not contribute to chores. She isn’t going to like this, as she sees herself as happily retired and done with ‘housewife duties’.
So, am I being realistic, or am I being a jerk?”
10. AITJ For Refusing To Take My Bracelet Off?
“I (15 f) had to go to a semi-formal dance.
I was very excited but my family had been trying to put their input into everything. I didn’t even get the dress I really wanted because my stepmother Insisted on something else.
I have two small bracelets that are very very special to me and I never ever take off.
The only time you will see them off is if I’m showering or doing dishes since I don’t want them wet. The bracelet one is pink with my name spelled out on it with tiny white charms. My late friend helped me make them. And bracelet 2 has underoos spelled out on it.
Again my friend that passed helped me make it. So it means a lot to me. I love Marvel and Spiderman is my favorite. My significant other and my late friend called me underoos.
I came downstairs with my dress on and had the two bracelets on.
And they kept telling me to take them off and they took them away from my dress and it made me look stupid. They are very low key and I doubt anyone would have noticed. I took them off for pictures and put them in my purse.
I saw my sister try to take them out so I wouldn’t have them but I caught her and ended up taking them and putting them right on. They won’t even look at the photos I have with them on. Whenever it’s brought up my fathers goes into a whole monologue about how I never listen and when I’m older I will regret it and I looked stupid.
I feel like a jerk because I could have just listened and just done one thing for them. But I love these bracelets and they mean a lot to me. It feels like I have a piece of my late friend and SO with me.
I know this is a stupid post but it has been eating me alive. So AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Clapping Back At My Sister-In-Law During Her Baby's Gender Announcement?
“So I (31 m) have three beautiful daughters (7, 5, 2) which for some reason people in my life think I’m not completely happy with. If I had a pound for every time I heard ‘I bet you wished you had a son’ or ‘Are you ever gonna try again for a boy’ I’d be a millionaire.
Look if my wife (30) got pregnant again and had a boy My reaction would be the same as the other three imo as long as your child is healthy who honestly cares?
The worst and most annoying people towards my wife who ‘gave me a son’ are my sister-in-law (29) who is now pregnant with the 5th boy and my mother-in-law.
By the way, I should mention neither of our cultures (Irish/English) cares about about gender.
Last Sunday we were at my mother-in-law’s for Sunday lunch and my SIL said after dessert to come out to the back garden as they had a ballon to announce the gender of their new baby.
Well long story short, she is having another boy after everyone congratulated her, she made her way to us and said, ‘I bet you wish just once it would be blue for you guys’ then turned to my wife and said ‘It’s never too late to try again’.
It royally made me mad because my oldest was in earshot.
I turned to her and said ‘Well actually Alice, I wouldn’t give one of my daughter’s dirty socks for what boys were in Europe and the fact that you base your love on your child’s gender says a lot about you as a mother, I don’t need a son so I suggest you take your advice and stick it’.
She stuttered for a second then burst out into tears saying I was putting her and her kids down. The mood was ruined after that and we left.
Since then my in-laws said she deserves an apology as it’s been a long-running joke so I shouldn’t have driven my sister-in-law to tears.”
8. AITJ For Not Pushing My Son To Play With Our Neighbor's Kid?
“About six months ago, a new family moved in next door. They have a son the same age as my son (currently 11) and I was so excited for my son to have someone new to play with. The neighbor boy, whom we will call Mason, came over a few times before my son told me that he didn’t care for him.
He said that he and Mason don’t have that much in common and that he feels that Mason still has more ‘childish’ interests where my son has started to grow out of some of those things. In my mind this was no big deal – my son doesn’t have to like everyone he comes across, so that was that.
I no longer suggested he go see what Mason is doing when he’s bored, nor did I invite the boy over. This was about a month ago when my son voiced this to me.
On Saturday, Mason’s mother asked me and my wife why my son and Mason hadn’t hung out in a while, as Mason really likes my son.
I was honest and said that my son felt that they didn’t have that much in common and wanted to play with his other friends. Maybe I should’ve fudged the truth a bit because his mom got upset and started talking about how Mason has struggled to make friends and that he thought my son was a lot of fun to hang out with and then asked if we could encourage our son to spend time with him.
I said that I was sorry Mason was struggling, but that wasn’t my son’s responsibility. His mom said that we were raising a mean boy and walked away.
My wife has taken her words to heart and has been wondering if we are raising our son to be mean and exclusionary to people he doesn’t like.
I said that we, as adults, don’t hang out with people we don’t like and don’t have that much in common with, so why should our son? Our boy hasn’t bullied the kid, there’s just a difference in interests. I also feel that he is old enough to make decisions about his own friends, as he isn’t a toddler anymore.
My wife has had second thoughts about this decision and I just need some outside input. AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Letting My Husband Cover All Of Our Expenses?
“So I (32 female) have a 6-year-old son. I am married to a 35-year-old man who works in a bank while I am a doctor and I work the early shift in my hospital. Because I work an early shift I come back home at 4-4:30 pm and wake up at 5 am.
My husband wakes up around 9 a.m. but returns home around 7-8 p.m. My salary is around 7k and my husband’s is around the same number. Our rent pay is (we are not from America so this is equivalency) 15k every 5 months so it is not a monthly rent.
I don’t pay or contribute any of the rent and my husband recently asked me to help him and I refused. Here is a thing. I wake up at 5 am, have breakfast, then cook both my husband and kid breakfast and lunch and pack them.
I finish cooking around 5:45 then I wake my son up to get ready for school and eat pack his lunch and stuff then I myself get ready to work. I drop off my son at school around 6:30 then I head to work as my shift starts at 7 a.m. and ends at 3:30 p.m. While on my way I pick up my son head home rest for a bit then start doing chores, cook dinner, and check school work with my son.
If he has football practice I am the one who drives him, waits for him, and takes him home. So basically I handle everything around the house except money. The reason I don’t want to contribute even though I most definitely can is that I do everything else alone with 0 contribution on his part.
I told my husband if he wants us to split money 50/50 then we should split everything else 50/50. His handling of finances alone is the only thing I use to convince myself that I am not a single mother. He told me he can’t because he comes home late so he isn’t physically there to help even though on days off he rarely does the dishes and when he does that’s because I’ve asked him at least 4 times to do them.
His problem is that he is not saving up as much money like I am (I have my investments). I told him if I was going to do everything when it comes to our house and our child and pay then I could just take my son and live alone.
He always finds food, a clean house, clean clothes, a flourishing son, all things he never contributed to but still has.
Needless to say, our fight escalated and he called me a selfish greedy woman who wanted to keep the money to myself and told me he wouldn’t pay the next rent until I gave him half of it.
I told him I was not paying and if he did that I would take my son to my parents’ old house (which I own legally now) and start the single mother life for real. We have been cold as ice these past 2 weeks he called my sister and my sister and been complaining to her he really wants me to pay but won’t try to work out the situation where he’ll start acting like a husband.”
6. AITJ For Telling My Insecure Brother-In-Law To Grow Up?
“I am an 18-year-old female living with my younger sister, Jennie (25 F), and my mom (55 F). I have an older sister, Maggie (40 F), who is married to John (36 M).
I don’t particularly like John because he frequently disregards our requests, makes inappropriate comments about everyone, tells unfunny dirty jokes, and always wants to be the center of attention. However, I try to maintain peace and keep my distance.
Recently, my mom decided to host a family get-together, and we all agreed to have one.
On the day of the event, as we were setting up the food, people started arriving. Jennie and John arrived a bit late, but it didn’t bother me as long as I got to see my sister. While I was having a conversation with her about her new job position, John kept talking over me and interrupting my sentences.
It became quite annoying, so I ended the conversation and went to get some food.
While I was eating, Jennie approached me and asked if I could give her a ride back when she dropped her car off for repairs tomorrow. I agreed, and she went to chat with some friends.
That’s when I overheard John making a derogatory comment about girls wearing crop tops, saying they shouldn’t because it doesn’t look right and is unappealing. It bothered me immensely, so I couldn’t help but confront him. I said, ‘John, I know you’re not talking, considering your big fat butt broke my pool float when you jumped on it at my pool party last year.
How can you criticize her weight when you’re like 300 pounds? That’s some insecure crap right there, and you’re just projecting. God, that’s crazy. Grow up, John.’ Then I walked out and threw away my plate.
When I returned, Maggie and John were nowhere to be found, and most people had already left. I took it upon myself to clean up.
Later, Maggie texted my mom about what I said. My mom thinks I’m the one in the wrong and I should apologize to John, but Jennie disagrees and thanks me for sticking up for her. So, I want to know, am I the jerk (AITJ)?”
5. AITJ For Setting A Curfew On My Niece?
“I (M 39) have been the primary caretaker of my niece, Linda (F 16), for most of her life. This was due to my sister, Jane’s (F 42), husband being a terrible person who decided to walk out on them around the time Linda turned 4.
Jane has suffered from sporadic depression since then, and since our parents (F 77 and M 81) are elderly, I have been responsible for the majority of regular parenting duties and have lived with Linda for most of her life.
This situation has meant that I’ve had to give up some of my own life opportunities, but I consider Linda to essentially be my own daughter, and I never had any regrets about sacrificing for her sake.
Recently, I think Linda has reached a bit of a rebellious stage, as over the past few months she has occasionally lashed out at me, but these have been relatively minor events that we have always sorted out.
Linda has been planning to go on a beach trip with her friends for the last few days. I was under the impression that the trip would be for a few hours. But this morning, Linda told me that she and her friends had planned on staying overnight.
Obviously, I didn’t feel comfortable with this, and I told her as much. She said that they’d be fine since there would be about 5 of them, but I wasn’t convinced. I told her that regardless of what her friends did, she needed to be back home by the latest 8 pm on the day of the trip.
She was not happy with this and said that I was ruining the last opportunity for her and her friends to have fun before summer ended. I told her that I was going to be firm on the time and that she’d need to either come home before late, or she would not be going.
She argued a bit, but I kept reiterating that my decision wouldn’t change.
At this stage, Linda became furious. She said that I had no right to set such an early curfew as I was only a substitute and not her real dad. I did feel pretty hurt by this, so I grounded her and said that she wouldn’t be going at all.
She yelled at me some more and said that I was destroying her social life before locking herself in her room.
AITJ?
More context: The beach is about an hour’s drive from our house. My niece has not told me where they would stay and to rent a hotel, they would need someone older.
Her curfew is typically 9 p.m. But since she would be out of town, I would like her to be home at least an hour before then.”
4. AITJ For Kicking Out A Whole Family Out Of My House For Spreading False News About Us?
“My husband and I have 4 kids, 3 are grown and out of the house, and there’s only 1 child left until we’re empty nesters.
My oldest struggled with infertility and miscarriages for the past 4 years and so when 1 pregnancy looked promising everyone was extremely excited.
Still wanting to be careful physically and emotionally, we all decided not to have a baby shower and things like that, we also kept visits limited with plans of having a giant first birthday party once the baby turned 1, so for the past year everyone has been prepping for the party.
A couple of months back, a family in our community was struggling, they needed a place to stay for a while and since we’re basically empty nesters, we decided to let them stay with us, the only thing they are in charge of is their own food.
Our grandchild’s first birthday party was 2 weeks ago we hosted it at our house since we have a lot of space and a big backyard.
They were welcome to join in but chose to stay in the rooms most of the day. Sometime during the party.
My youngest overheard them complain, saying that we were doing too much for a first birthday, saying it’s just a first birthday it’s not a big deal and basically saying the baby ‘wasn’t special enough’ for us to be doing all that.
Last weekend was one of their kid’s birthday, my husband and I got the kid a gift but didn’t plan anything, when we asked if they had anything planned, the mother said, I thought you guys were going to throw my kid a party as well, I don’t remember ever saying we will but I asked if we said we would.
She said no but she just assumed we will.
I apologized, saying no we didn’t have a party planned but I’d be happy to pay for them to go out to eat or go to an arcade or something. She said no and that they had other plans.
We thought that was the end of it but for the next couple of days we kept on hearing people talk, they were telling basically and mutual connection we had, that we were mistreating them and making them feel less than us. They tried turning people we knew against us.
It worked for some but eventually, the news made it back to us, and when we confronted her about it. At first, she got defensive but I had proof so eventually she admitted it and started crying.
I told her that, it seems as if this living situation isn’t working out for us and so we’d like for them to start preparing to move out in the next 2-3 months.
The next day my family went out and when we came back, their rooms were completely empty, they also took things from the house that weren’t theirs.
Apparently, they went to a motel and started telling those same people that we kicked them out, because they made a comment we didn’t like, we’ve had several people contact us and say how disappointed they were and others just wanted to hear our side of the story.”
Please set those lies straight and tell the so called mutual friends to stay away from you as tney are not your friends AT ALL... and the next ride you decide to help a family in need remember this family and maybe don't bother
3. AITJ For Telling My Parents My PE Teacher Still Made Me Do The Exercises?
“I’m (15 F) in high school. I have something wrong with both of my knees which causes them to dislocate, or that’s what it feels like, something wrong with my knees that happens from simple activities like turning, standing up, walking, running, rolling over, and sitting.
The kneecap sometimes returns to its normal state. (this is important later).
So just at the beginning of high school, I told my PE teacher about my knee injury and that I needed to keep it slow, she allowed me and it seemed like she believed me on the first day.
Maybe after a month of all the exercises, we have a test for running a mile, trying to do it nonstop. For our gym, we needed to run around the gym 16 times so it’ll be a mile. I was maybe on my second or third lap until one of my knees happened to dislocate, the teacher luckily let me go to the nurse’s office for the first time.
My knee began to pop out of place multiple times in the gym and outside of school, and I have scars on my knees now due to it.
One day, I handed my PE teacher a doctor’s note, a parent’s note, AND a nurse’s note that I couldn’t do physical activity until I get into physical therapy.
My PE teacher read all the notes and still made me change into my PE uniform and made me do the exercises. During one of the exercises which is called a grapevine (You run sideways while crisscrossing your legs), my knee decided to give out on me badly and I couldn’t get up.
My friend helped me to the nurse’s office and recovered luckily, but my knee now pops sometimes when I walk.
Of course, I told my parents and they went off on the PE teacher and principal. Apparently the PE teacher is now on her last strike and close to being fired.
I feel bad that I told my parents that she made me run despite the notes from the nurse, my parents, and the doctor. I also now have a new scar on my knee from falling and breaking open a healing scab.
So AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Being In A Healthy Relationship?
“So I (19 F) got my first serious partner (23 M) a while ago. He’s the kindest person ever and I’m so in love. The problem is that one of my closest friends let’s call her Ria (18 F) has been all weird about it.
Some time ago, when my relationship with my partner was relatively new I randomly mentioned him in a conversation because she asked if I had seen the new art section at a museum and I said I had gone there with my partner. That’s all I said, mentioned him ONCE.
Then she told me she doesn’t care about him and doesn’t care what I do when I’m out with him. However, I let it slide because maybe she had a bad day.
Well then a week ago we were hanging out with some friends and my bestie asked how my partner was doing as he is abroad with his family this week.
Well Ria heard that and started saying she doesn’t care and that apparently thinks our relationship is inappropriate because he’s older and ‘looks like his family is rich’. I don’t think four years is that bad tho, but I do have a few minor insecurities about it because my family were a bit weird about it.
Well, my bestie put Ria in her place and said it was a weird thing to say but I still feel bad.
Yesterday I was talking to one of our other mutual friends Joe (who is closer to Ria than me) and he said that I’m the jerk for ‘being in a healthy relationship when I know Ria isn’t’.
Just for your info, Ria is single but once had a partner who was a bit manipulative and we were multiple who helped her out of it. Joe then said I’m shoving my relationship in Ria’s face but I barely ever mention him, which actually kinda bums me out.
He told me that it was unfair I mentioned him briefly (he actually said briefly) when Ria had already told me once (again like 4-5 months ago) that she didn’t want to hear about him.
She hasn’t even met him and I’ve been with him for 5 months.
Meanwhile, my other friends often want him to tag along and are also friends with him now through me.
I honestly don’t think I talk about him that much, but maybe I do without even realizing it.
So AITJ for mentioning my partner when my friend says she doesn’t care?”
1. AITJ For Not Letting My Sister Bring A Plus-One To My Wedding?
“I (28 F) recently found myself in a tough situation regarding my upcoming wedding and my sister (25 F). To give you some context, my sister and I have always had a complicated relationship. We used to be close growing up, but as we got older, we started to drift apart due to our differing personalities and lifestyles.
My fiancé (30 M) and I have been together for seven years, and he’s honestly the love of my life. We got engaged six months ago, and the wedding planning has been in full swing. Now, the issue arose during a family dinner a few weeks ago.
My fiancé was there, and he was telling a story about a recent hiking trip he took. He’s really into outdoor activities, and he was excitedly talking about climbing a challenging trail.
Out of nowhere, my sister made a snide comment, saying, ‘It’s surprising you actually did something that requires physical effort.’ She said that and looked directly into my eyes.
Ever since I started going out with him, she made fun of me, for being with a more chubby man. Everyone at the table went silent, and I could see the hurt on my fiancé’s face. He brushed it off, but I could tell he was hurt by her comment.
After the dinner, I confronted my sister privately about her hurtful remark. She dismissed it, saying it was just a joke and that my fiancé shouldn’t be so sensitive. This really upset me, as her comment felt like a direct attack on the person I love.
I explained to her how important my fiancé is to me and how her words were hurtful.
Fast forward to a few days ago, I sent out wedding invitations to all our close family and friends. When my sister received her invitation, she texted me, asking if she could bring her new partner of two months as her plus-one.
I thought about it and decided that, given the strained relationship between us, I would prefer to keep the wedding a more intimate affair with people who genuinely support our relationship.
I told my sister that we were having a small wedding and couldn’t accommodate plus-ones for people we didn’t know well.
She didn’t take it well. She accused me of bad things, like not being happy for her, and not wanting her to enjoy the day as much as I will. After a while, I was full of her and told her she was not invited anymore.
I brought up the hurtful comment she made about my fiancé and how that played a role in my decision and that she doesn’t respect my boundaries. She got defensive and said I was overreacting.
Now she’s been telling other family members that I’m being unreasonable and that I’m using her comment as an excuse to keep her out of the wedding.
Some family members have reached out to me, saying I should be the bigger person and invite her, regardless of the past drama.
So, AITJ for not inviting my sister to my wedding after she insulted my fiancé, or should I put the past aside and include her for the sake of family harmony?”
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