People Seek Assistance in Reaching a Decision For Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
37. AITJ For Wanting My Sister-In-Law To Pay $800 Monthly For A Bedroom In Our House?
“2 years ago my house burnt to the ground after being struck by lightning. Thankfully it was during the day so our 3 kids were at school and my husband and I were at work.
We lost everything but we were safe. It took almost 11 months for the insurance to pay out. The insurance covered 1 month’s worth of hotel stays but after that, we were made to fend for ourselves and the only option we had was to move in with my SIL.
She told us we could have her spare room and her office space since she used neither of the rooms, and her stipulation was we needed to purchase all of our own food and pay her $100 a week.
By week 3 all of that changed. She then decides we need to pay her $250 a week and we can only use one room.
So all 5 of us were crammed into the smallest room she had, which was the size of a glorified closet space and didn’t even fit a twin bed and a small dresser (so we lived out of trash bags and slept on the floor) for close to $1000 a month some months and still had to purchase all of our own food, despite her claiming my children on her food stamps.
She also had no bills outside of her land tax ($450 a year), electricity, and heating oil (which she hardly ever filled). So we were essentially paying her so she could do leisure activities. It was the worst 8 months of my life.
3 months ago my grandmother decided that she wanted to go to assisted living after a fall and transferred the deed of her house to me and basically said it was mine now.
It is a 5-bedroom farmhouse. My boys insist on sharing a room so we have 2 extra bedrooms. Well, my SIL lost her house last month due to not paying her land tax for several years and asked if she and her stepdaughter could stay with us until they get enough money to move down south.
I said sure, 1 bedroom, $800 a month and you have to buy and cook all your food separately because my daughter is vegan. She looked at me like I had 10 heads and said that she and her stepdaughter should not be made to share a room when there are 2 extra rooms and stated she cannot afford a rent of $800 while purchasing all of her own food on top of it.
I said ‘Neither could we but we managed to cram 5 people into a glorified closet space while you were getting $1000 and food stamps. Take it or leave it.’ She decided to leave. I am being told I am childish. AITJ?”
36. AITJ For Letting My Son With His Hobby?
“I (40 M) am a welder, I have everything I need in a big shed next to my house, and on the side, I have been creating all types of stuff like knives, swords, and armor for fun. For a few years now my son (14) has been watching me create all types of cool stuff, he always loved watching me do it and it was a great father-son bonding time.
For the last two years, I would let him do some stuff like hammer the iron while it’s hot all while I watch him (mind you he has been watching and listening to me for 1-2 years before that).
For the past few months, I would let him make certain stuff alone like small knives and stuff he saw and liked, I would give him pointers, and help him out, but also leave him alone from time to time since he loved doing it all the time and I had a lot of work.
The problem is that my wife (39) thinks it is too dangerous to leave him alone to do stuff since he is only 14, but my argument is that he has been watching and doing it for a few years now and knows how to use everything (I don’t let him use stuff that is too heavy or hard).
The issue came when last month he started making a small sword, I would help him with tools, and everything, but last week I left him alone and he made a big cut on his hand, we had to take him to a doctor and he got stitched up, it wasn’t anything too serious but my wife was furious and screamed at me.
He wants to continue doing it and I am all for it, but my wife doesn’t want to even consider letting him do it. I always show him that safety is the number one priority and I keep yapping his year off about it. I feel bad for the boy since it’s the hobby he gives most of his time to and genuinely loves it, but I also can’t watch over him 4 hours a day every time he wants to do it.
Was I the jerk for letting my son work on his sword alone and am I the jerk for wanting to let him continue?”
35. AITJ For Not Wanting To Share Any More Of My Recipes To My Aunt?
“I (f 19) moved to where I’m residing currently almost 4 years ago when I was 15. My aunt who is my mom’s younger sister loves learning new things and she would often come to the kitchen every time I cook to learn new recipes from a different culture.
I even started going there for weekends and they would ask me what I wanted to make, my aunt told her daughter (f 22, was 17-18 back then) to help me out so we used to make something for lunch, dinner, and dessert and I would share the recipes mainly because I was naive but I did ask her to not spread the recipes and keep it for herself.
At first, I would always get credit but after a while, my aunt started asking for even my secret recipes that I always kept a secret because It’s a dream of mine to own a bakery or a restaurant. I would try to give her only a part of it but she even started opening our kitchen cabinets and even took pictures of spices that I personally blend and other things I use.
At first, everyone would be surprised because her dishes started tasting almost similar to mine But she started to make everything I would make when she invited people over, gave some of the recipes, and even gave me advice on how to improve my cooking skills in front of people and now it’s always about her being a great chef along with her daughter and that they should open a restaurant or something.
Recently she was having a conversation with my mom and grandma and my grandma said ‘You learned most of that from them’. She got defensive and said she never learned anything besides a thing or two and even if she did, it was between family, and that I decided to give her the recipes by myself.
Weeks after that she said she wanted me over at her place because she has a lot of cottage cheese and she didn’t remember the name of the recipe or how I made a dessert out of it. She literally didn’t ask, she just said ‘I have a lot of cottage cheese and I don’t remember how you made them last time so come over tomorrow and make them, I also have guests over’, I told her I have somewhere to go and I didn’t want to share that specific recipe but I could give her something else but she insisted on that same one and that I could go to where I wanted to go after at that, I refused and hung up on her and now everyone is backing her up because it was a guests situation and I shouldn’t have embarrassed her like that.
My other aunt and my mom are telling me I did a good job and I shouldn’t have shared anything in the first place but my relationship with this aunt and my cousin whom I really love is ruined because she always cuts anyone who doesn’t ‘respect’ her mom.
AITJ for not wanting to share any more recipes and ruining my relationship with family just for recipes?”
34. AITJ For Forcing A Family To Move Out Of The House We Just Bought?
“My wife and I purchased a home back in August from a family who was waiting for the construction of their own new home to be completed. We agreed to close at the end of December but further agreed to give them a grace period of up to three months to the end of March if their construction was delayed past the expected completion date.
They repeatedly told us they didn’t expect any excess delays and would be trying to move out of the house as soon as possible.
In November, the seller informed us that they were going to need to take the full 3-month grace period, as their construction had gotten more delayed than expected. We grumbled at the time but accepted this since it was in the contract and was their right to take it.
In the meantime my wife and I have been living in an apartment my parents own, waiting to move into our new home. My parents bought the place in our city so they could spend more time closer to us and to our child who is their first grandchild, born 10 months ago.
My parents only plan on moving here for an extended period starting in September of this year.
The apartment we’re in is pretty small, and is not really suitable for a baby, especially one who is right on the cusp of walking. We are very eager at this point to move into the new place and make sure it has sufficient amenities for the baby, as well as for us.
In order to get things ready as soon as possible, my wife has been working to secure a contractor for a renovation of our new home which is estimated to take up to a month. We have already paid a down payment to the contractor to book him for April of this year.
So you can imagine our surprise when the seller called up about a week ago and offered to pay rent for us to extend the grace period an extra six weeks. We didn’t really want to delay further so we told them that we were sticking to the terms of our contract and that they had to give us the keys and remove all of their property from the premises by the end of March.
Today they called again and this time begged to let them stay for an extra month until the beginning of May. They said that they had nowhere to go, her mother is going into surgery at the end of the month and they don’t have a place near where their daughter is supposed to go to school.
We wanted to be reasonable, so we called our contractor to see if he could push off doing the work until May, but he’s already booked and wouldn’t be able to start the work until August, so we called them back and told them we wouldn’t be able to help, and that they would have to make arrangements for themselves elsewhere.
At this point, the wife in the couple started crying and saying we were basically throwing them out onto the street. We do have a safe, free place to stay, but we are already paying the mortgage on the house that they are currently living in.
So, AITJ for sticking to the terms of the contract and forcing them to leave the home?”
You may also want to see if they've made any effort to move any of their belongings out of the home and into storage. If not, then you'll know they're playing you and will continue to do so as long as you let it happen. Don't budge. Get these jerks out. They have the money from the sale of their home; they don't need to be homeless. Good luck.
33. AITJ For Holding A Grudge Against My Parents Who Kicked Me Out?
“I am a 21-year-old guy who struggled with my sexuality for the last couple of years. I told my parents that I was gay and because of their conservative views I had to suppress it as much as possible. However, in 2021 I was kicked out of my house because my dad couldn’t handle having me around due to my sexuality.
The whole situation was very devastating for me. I had to figure out everything on my own and the help of my significant other and his family and some other friends. I struggled so much to be able to make enough money to eventually be able to get my own apartment and the road was very rough.
Not to mention that I was homeless for about two months of the process!
Through all that my parents tried to manipulate me to come back home, because apparently ‘they didn’t mean to kick me out’. Yet the whole time they asked me to do all sorts of tasks such as ordering things from Amazon or calling the Internet company to fix the Internet because they didn’t know how to speak English properly, despite my sister knowing how to speak English fluently when she lives exactly where they live!
There are a lot of stories and manipulations that happened ever since I got kicked out between me and my parents. These are stories for another time. Tho recently I got so fed up with the amount of requests that they keep asking me to do!
Why should I have to do these things if I’m no longer part of the family? I am so tired of taking some time out of my day to be able to satisfy everything to try and ‘fix’ things between us when they are the ones who hurt me by kicking me out!
I tried to confront them about the number of things they’re making me do while I am away from home, but my parents started talking down on me and telling me that it should be the last thing I should do since ‘I left’ and won’t return!
I didn’t leave! They kicked me out! I have been trying to avoid a couple of phone calls ever since and sometimes having to block them for a certain amount of time just so I can focus on my own worries and concerns!
Sometimes I do miss them, and feel like in a way I am the jerk with how angry I get with them but this is being too much!
Am I the jerk?”
32. AITJ For Not Giving Up My Bus Seat For An Elderly Woman?
“I (20 m) got out of surgery two weeks ago, now this was an internal surgery so you cannot actually see it.
A day ago I had to go pick up my medicine. Normally, my mother would do so, but she recently came down with the flu and a lot of fluid behind her ear drum (she went to the doctor for it or something).
As I was unable to ride my bike, I ended up taking the bus for the 10-minute ride. Normally I don’t have a lot of issues, but since it was during school time, the bus was rather full of older people. I took a seat with legroom, so I could relax fully and one older woman (who couldn’t get a seat) stood right beside me, straight up glaring down at me.
She proceeded to cough and mumble under her breath how disrespectful the youth was to elderly people and how I shouldn’t even be taking the bus, as I looked healthy enough.
I just looked up to her when I heard her, asked her if she needed anything or had a problem, and then proceeded to explain I got out of a heavy surgery two weeks ago.
Yet she continued to call me disrespectful and demanded to see the scars I had from it (I have about 5 little cuts on my stomach where they operated to see what they were doing).
I refused this and she went to get the bus driver.
I told the driver the same thing and mentioned the next stop was mine anyway so I got off right after.
Some other elderly people on the bus called me disrespectful and ‘disgusting’ (for lack of a better word) for ‘lying’ to keep my spot as I was leaving.
I normally would get up if I could, and most definitely if she had asked nicely, but she was being rude and I couldn’t exactly do it either way.
So AITJ for not giving up my seat to an elderly woman?”
31. AITJ For Not Bringing My Kids To Visit My Sick Stepmom?
“I went to live with my dad after my parents’ divorce at age 10.
My dad, bless his heart, had no idea how to raise a child, especially a girl, and had no business getting custody. For instance, ‘women’s problems’ were taboo, and I was only two years away from mine. I dragged my way through it with toilet paper and cut-up t-shirts.
He ended up marrying a controlling woman with a son of her own (one year older). She had no interest in raising a daughter and made it perfectly clear that I was not welcome. She was the embodiment of the wicked stepmother from Cinderella.
At one point, she decided to put locks on the refrigerator and cabinets, but not before installing a refrigerator and stocking the shelves with food in my step-brother’s room.
She and my dad worked long hours, so I regularly had nothing to eat between school lunches.
They stuck me in one of those little rooms in the basement, under a stairwell, with nothing but a dirty, single mattress with springs sticking out. I have a scar on my left thigh where one stabbed into me and then ripped across my leg.
At night, when I had to use the restroom, I’d find every lightbulb in the house had been removed, the water was turned off, and there was no toilet paper to be found. My step-brother was equipped with his own toilet paper and a flashlight.
I could give a hundred examples of favoritism, but here are a few: I wasn’t allowed pets, but my stepbro had dogs, ducks, and rabbits. He regularly got new bikes and even a new moped one year; I got a used, barely rideable bike. He got a generous weekly allowance; I got a couple of bucks a month my grandma sent me in the mail.
I know a lot of kids had it a lot worse, but to me, this life was traumatizing. Being constantly berated led to a lifetime of insecurity and other self-destructive behaviors. I don’t need sympathy; I’m a big girl and have dealt with it to the best of my ability.
At age 14, I finally escaped and moved back to my mother’s house with her new husband and my younger sister.
I grew up, got a job, worked my way through college, earned a PhD, got married, had two kids, and became generally successful. Childhood haunted me, but I was the queen of denial. I mended the relationship with my stepmother, albeit superficially.
We never speak of the past. We pretend it never happened.
Dad died in 2000, but I maintained a cordial relationship with them. We went to their house (Mama’s Boy; never left home) a few times a year and traded text messages. My kids grew up knowing her as ‘Grandma Nina.’
We haven’t seen her in about five years, mainly because she moved almost three hours away. Now, she’s in her late 70s, in failing health, and living alone (her son is ten minutes away but has little to do with her).
She calls or texts about once or twice a month asking when the kids and I will come visit her.
I just don’t have the strength.
AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Snapping A Photo Of The Delivery Guy?
“6 months ago, my TV stopped working and Costco paid ParcelForce to collect it from me. Costco told me I should get a receipt/proof of collection from the driver. When the driver came to the door though, he had no receipt or anything for me and he also sounded kinda suspicious, so I sneakily took a picture of him carrying my TV away.
The tracking NEVER updated to say he’d collected the parcel, and Costco didn’t get their TV. At the time I was kinda feeling bad about taking the picture so all I told Costco was that I’d given the driver the TV, and they said they’d investigate.
After a week or two, they still hadn’t gotten anywhere so I sent them the picture, and within a day or two they agreed to give me my £450 back.
2 months ago, I sold an item for £200 on eBay and (stupidly) decided to have ParcelForce collect and deliver it for me.
When the driver came, it was the same guy who’d taken my TV. Again he had no receipt or anything to give me. So I asked the driver his name (not entirely sure why I did this as he could easily lie) but he refused to answer and then said ‘Don’t take a picture of me’.
I thought that was a weird thing to randomly say (maybe his manager got the picture from Costco and showed it to him?).
Anyway, realizing I had no proof of collection, and keeping in mind what had happened with the TV, I still tried to take a picture of him when his back was turned and he was carrying the parcel towards the van.
The problem was that he turned around and noticed. He got REALLY angry, called me a ‘knob’, threw the expensive parcel a distance of about 1.5-2m, left it there, and drove off. I think he was threatening me as he went back to his van as well.
Anyway, two months later it’s popped into my head and I’m feeling bad again so I thought I’d ask you.”
29. AITJ For Being Angry At My Sister And Her Husband For Not Getting My Car Serviced On The Promised Date?
“I (29) work two full-time jobs and volunteer with the local youth.
I will be honest and say that while I try to be level-headed, I am nearly constantly tired and slightly grouchy. My sister (23) works overnight with me and heard me say I needed to schedule my car for a service. She asked and I told her it needed an oil change and a change of filters (air and cabin).
She texted her husband and then told me that he would do it for me if I got the necessary parts. Her husband is a mechanic and often does work on their cars and does have all the necessary tools. I said thank you and offered him money but was turned down and asked for me to order dinner for them when he did it.
We agreed to do it on Saturday since none of us had plans.
Well, Saturday came around and he forgot he had plans with his mother and told me Sunday. I told than that I had plans but would reschedule them. I rescheduled my volunteer activity and made sure to get home early from work to let it cool down before the outside got too hot.
He comes over and eats then leaves with my sister saying he feels unwell and will work on it Wednesday.
On Wednesday, he couldn’t do it because he was tired and on Thursday it had rained so the ground outside was wet. Each of these days I had cancelled plans or turned down extra shifts at my job.
I did let them know that I was having to cancel things to do this and asked if they were still okay with doing it.
He told me yesterday that rain or shine will do it on Sunday (today). I told him that I would be home at noon and was thankful he could do it.
With this conversation, I turned down overtime at work to make sure I would be home. I got home, texted them, and then heard nothing from them until my sister came over to do laundry.
When I asked when he was coming over to do it, she said he was napping and would do it tomorrow.
I snapped and told her that I was tired of having my time wasted and that if they hadn’t wanted to do it in the first place why offer it? She said they were saving me money by him doing it for me and I should be grateful.
I told her that while it would cost more for me to go elsewhere I would at least have it done and not lose out on extra income or have to cancel plans to be available. That I had used the money I put aside to take it to the dealership, on the food they wanted, and on the parts.
She called me a few names and now has our mom and his mom calling me a selfish ungrateful jerk
I may be the jerk because I snapped and blew up on her. I may be the jerk because I blew up on her.”
28. AITJ For Not Giving Extra Money To My Ex For Our Children?
“I (33 M) have been divorced from my wife for around 3 years now.
We married at 18, had our oldest daughter at 19, and had four kids after that. All of these children weren’t planned, and I tried to take as many precautions as I could. I even went as far as to offer to get a vasectomy, but my ex insisted it was unnecessary.
3 years ago, I left my wife for my coworker. I believe getting married at such a young age blocked me from figuring out who I am, and I came out publically a year after going out with him. My current partner (29 M) happens to be transgender.
This is relevant to the story later on.
I pay child support for my kids and sometimes pitch in extra money to help with expenses. My ex-wife was a stay-at-home mom for the entirety of our marriage, and I knew the change would be difficult for her at first. I also have no contact with my children, which means I do not aid her in taking care of them.
I have no paternal feelings towards any of them, and although this may seem harsh, they’ve destroyed my mental health for the past few years. My children have several behavioral issues, and I felt as if my wife never did anything to apprehend them.
My ex will sometimes send me updates on them and will ask me to throw in money for things like summer camp, tutoring, field trips, etc. I’ve never once declined, although it can add up when you are paying for 5 children.
My partner has helped me in certain situations with making payments, and I appreciate him so much for doing so. Without him, I doubt I would be able to afford constant child support in addition to these other things.
A few weeks ago, a close friend of mine sent me a social media post my wife had made.
The post was very hateful towards transgender people specifically, and I confronted her about it. She knows my partner is transgender, and I cannot help but feel as if this was targeted toward him specifically. I won’t get into the details of our argument, but she is extremely hateful and I’m extremely ashamed she feels this way.
As a response, I’ve ignored all of my ex-wife’s messages regarding anything extra towards my children. I only pay what I’m required now, and have no desire to pay for anything more. My partner was helping me with all of these things before, but now that she’s disrespected him, I don’t think she deserves his money.
My wife is close with my family, and my sister has told me that I’m a jerk for not paying for these things. I explained that my partner was helping me afford these expenses, and due to her public disrespect, I didn’t think she deserved more support than she was getting.
My sister lashed out at me and stated it wasn’t my children’s fault that my wife felt this way, and I should pay for them away.
So AITJ for not providing extra funding?”
27. AITJ For Boycotting My Husband's Plans By Quitting My Job?
“My husband and I got married at 23/24. Things were going great until about a year after we got married. My husband and I live in a very expensive city and rent.
My MIL passed away sadly right before our wedding but left some money to my husband that we were going to use (on his suggestion) as a down payment for an apartment. We had both worked (I worked an admin job and he got a teaching stipend since he was training to be a teacher.
I live in the UK). Our plans were that when he finished his teacher training as a Physics teacher, we would try to start a family. He finished his training and I was over the moon. I knew now that we could start our married life in earnest.
One week in August, right before the school term, he turned to me and said that he was going to start graduate school in a week for a Philosophy MA. I was quite shocked since he never discussed this with me before and I was blindsided. He then told me that he was using all of the money left over from his mom to pay for tuition and that he was doing a 2-year part-time program.
I said that since it was his money, I wasn’t too bothered by it. I asked him if he needed the extra degree for his job or a pay raise and he said ‘No’. I said that the pursuit of education was noble, but we simply did not have the budget for it (we were scraping by and this MA would not increase our earning power at all).
He got upset and said that he loved Philosophy and I said that’s fine, but I refuse to pay his way when there is no financial incentive for us to do this. I then ‘boycotted’ this decision by quitting my job, hoping that he wouldn’t pursue this.
I told him that I did not want to financially support him in getting what I considered a ‘useless’ degree. I was also upset that we would have to continue to rent. He even kept the amount of the money hidden from me. He is still pursuing this.
AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Wanting To Come To My Friend's Birthday Party Instead Of Babysitting My Siblings?
“I’m (F 21) and still live with my parents, we have an agreement that I live there for free as long as I babysit my siblings as needed and help pay toward some of the food shopping. I know this is so generous of them both and I honestly don’t mind babysitting when needed. My siblings are 7 and 9 so can’t really look after themselves.
So this weekend my friend’s birthday is coming up, he’s turning 21 and is having a party. Everyone invited has known about the party for around 2 weeks now so I told my parents that I couldn’t babysit for the day the party is on.
My mom said that’s fine and I’m more than welcome to go to the party as I tend not to go out ‘partying’ too much.
Anyway, fast forward a few days, and both of my parents have been invited to a wedding all weekend and said that I need to look after my two siblings.
I brought up the fact about the party and that my mom said I could go but she flat out said that she didn’t say that. And that they never knew about the party.
A lot of choice words were exchanged between the three of us and I pointed out how I’m normally always available to babysit and my dad said if I don’t do it I’m getting kicked out.
I texted my friend and he said he really wanted me to go to his party – I feel awful for not going.
Now my mom is telling my siblings that I must hate them because I’m refusing to look after them. I don’t hate them I adore both of them dearly.
But they’re both coming to me crying asking if I do hate them and wish they were ‘put up for adoption’. I always tell them no but I don’t know if they’ll believe me.
I feel horrible because my parents deserve a break for a couple of days but I did already tell my friend I would be at his party and the crying siblings are making it even worse on top.
So WIBTJ for not babysitting my two siblings and missing out on the party?”
25. AITJ For Being Mad At My Stepdad For Making Me Late For Work?
“So basically I decided to get my first ever job for the summer. I did well in the interview and got hired pretty quickly. I did everything well to guarantee I got this job and not mess up because I hope to keep it.
So with everything going in the right direction, I had orientation today, I was told this a week prior and an emphasis was made on how I had one rule 1. Do not be late. Be there at 10 am for the orientation and no later. I tell my parents this in advance and make it clear that I don’t want to be a minute late in order to show that I’m dedicated and a good worker.
So I reminded my parents one last time how I couldn’t be late last night.
I woke up at 8:40 am and got fully finished and ready by 9:30, meaning a good 30 minutes to get there. The drive there is at least a 7-9 minute drive and wouldn’t take long at all.
So I could have made it there early. My stepdad decides to take too long doing absolutely nothing important and not even walk out of the house with his keys. He makes it to where we leave at 10 am (the time I should be there) and we make it at 10:10 am, I am no longer able to attend orientation and am too late.
It nearly cost me my job and I now have to reschedule my orientation while also filling out more paperwork. I was so upset and couldn’t believe he wasted so much time so I got the paperwork and took my aggravation out in crying for an hour.
When he came to pick me up he said he didn’t make me late, and I yelled how I told him time and time again I could not be late. Now this was embarrassing and stressful after. My mom wants me to apologize but I refuse to since he hasn’t taken accountability for making me late or said sorry or nearly costing me my job.
My mom is saying I’m being disrespectful but I don’t see it that way.”
24. AITJ For Yelling At A Little Girl Who's Making Fun Of My Daughter?
“My 12-year-old daughter, Eloise, is currently undergoing radiation treatment for her diagnosis of Anaplastic Pleomorphic Xanthoastrocytoma. This radiation causes localized hair loss in the area where treatment is being directed. In Eloise’s case, this is the side of her head.
Her doctor explained to her what to expect with this hair loss, and she decided that she wanted to shave her head as soon as she started losing hair since it’d be difficult to hide the bald spot.
Since shaving her head, her confidence has gone down drastically.
She doesn’t like how she looks without hair and is bothered by the questions and stares she gets. I’ve done everything I can to try to help her feel better about herself. I’ve bought her hats and headbands, will be buying her a wig once we can afford it, shaved my own head, and I try my best to only let her hear positive things about how she looks.
The other day, she was playing in the playroom of her oncology center with a friend she’d made during treatment, and I was sitting on a bench off to the side of the room. She came up to me, crying, and said ‘Dad, that girl keeps making fun of me’.
She pointed at a girl who looked to be at least 14 and told me the names she’d called her, which included various ways of calling her ugly and telling another kid not to go near her because her baldness was contagious. I was obviously mad and went over to the kid.
The girl confirmed that she was 15, and the family member of a child receiving treatment. When I asked her to apologize to Eloise, she said ‘It’s not my fault she’s ugly’. I lost it and snapped at her that she was an insensitive brat and told her to take me to her parents because if I had to find them myself it wouldn’t be pretty.
She took me to her father, who, after having the situation explained to him, blew up at me for yelling at his daughter. He said his daughter was entitled to her opinion and did not owe Eloise an apology, and insisted I apologize for yelling at his daughter.
I took Eloise and left, and did not apologize to anyone, but feel like I might’ve been a bit harsh.”
23. AITJ For Calling My Cousin-In-Law, Who's Just Given Birth, A Jerk?
“My husband and I have had 2 previous miscarriages before we had a rainbow baby last year. One of those pregnancies was a twin pregnancy.
I have a son from my previous marriage who also was a twin, but his twin was lost early in the pregnancy as well. I’ve gone to a fertility specialist and I’ve learned that I sometimes hyper ovulate. Fraternal twins run on both sides of my family.
So on to the dilemma. My cousin-in-law gave birth early this month. We were texting back and forth, everything was innocent. She asked me how my pregnancy was going. I told her the truth which was that one of my twins sadly had no heartbeat, we had found out a couple of days before she went into labor and we were clearly devastated and didn’t want to say anything right away.
My cousin-in-law proceeded to text me that maybe I just wasn’t made to have twins and sent LOL with the laughing emoji. And that maybe my husband and I should stop having kids.
I saw red and told her she was a huge jerk and that the amount of kids my husband and I decided to have was none of her business.
I am a stay-at-home mom, my husband makes good money for us to be able to afford our kids.
She told her husband, and he called my husband and told him that I was way out of line for calling his wife a jerk when she had just given birth.
They expect an apology from me but I am refusing. My husband is backing me up.
I am wondering if I let my emotions get the best of me and should’ve just stopped responding to her since she is freshly postpartum. AITJ for calling her a jerk for her comment while she’s freshly postpartum?”
22. AITJ For Not Lending My Friend Any More Money?
“I (40 F) am sick of being used as an ATM by my ‘friend’ (33 F). She’s married and her husband works 2 jobs, they have 4 kids together and one on the way.
We used to be next-door neighbors and everything was fine until about a year ago.
My family and I had just moved as I was pregnant and we needed a bigger place and we were broke from the move and having to fix our car when she asked me for $250. I said I couldn’t lend it to her and she went on a rant about how her husband had kicked her and her 4 kids out of the house and she had contacted DV services because he was abusive and she needed help but the emergency accommodation they were providing wasn’t ‘good enough’ and she needed the money for a hotel room at one of the most expensive hotels in the city.
Again, I explained to her I had nothing and she didn’t contact me for two months. When she DID contact me it was to ask for money and smoke as she ‘wasn’t in a good place’ due to her kids being removed by DHS because she was homeless and couldn’t provide a stable environment.
Again I said no as we were broke and she didn’t contact me for a few weeks but then called to tell me she was pregnant again with her husband. She started hanging around and wanting to do something with me EVERY SINGLE DAY even though I was caring for my family while heavily pregnant and having complications.
When my baby was born she waited two months to ask if she could have my brand-new capsule and pram because ‘baby stuff is expensive’. My son was barely two months old and I told her I was planning on using it as long as possible, so no. When I asked her why her husband, the father of her child, wasn’t giving her money for the baby, she mumbled something about him not wanting to, which shouldn’t have come as a surprise to her because he doesn’t help out with the other 4 either.
Skipping ahead, and in the last week she has asked me for money 3 times. Once for ‘medical expenses’ which is nonsense because we have free healthcare, and once for petrol which I told her I could lend her $20 and as I was transferring it to her account she asked me for $50 instead, and again today because she’s paid her rent and is broke, despite telling me two or three days ago that she had sold something for $450 and the money was in her bank.
I’ve seen the way she spends money and it goes on hair, nails, smoking, and gambling. While I feel bad for saying no when I have the money, I can’t keep paying for her vices while living paycheck to paycheck ourselves.
AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Snapping My Finger At A Student Observer?
“I (27 F) work as a speech therapist. I work with a lot of toddlers and children with language delays, intellectual disabilities, and articulation disorders. Most of my patients are children with autism, and I’ve done a lot of work on learning styles and language acquisition for these kiddos.
I love all the kids I work with, they’re like my own kids.
I work in an outpatient clinic, and it’s important to my clinic that we allow students into our sessions. I’ve had a fair share of observers, and recently allowed a volunteer (17-18 F) into my room to observe.
She asks a lot of questions, which I’m excited about! But she’s also trying to insert herself into therapy, which I’m not.
Today I was working with a patient who recently turned 2. He has language delays (he has no words, can’t follow directions, and can’t identify objects), and delayed play skills, and we’re just now working on circles of communication and cause-and-effect play.
He has gone from totally in his own world to reaching out for play, imitating two signs, and engaging in songs with clapping. He still wanders with attention, but he’s so excited to play with the right person, and I’m glad I’m one of those people.
During his session today, my student observer called the patient’s name several times. I told her that some kids don’t yet respond to their names, and to be patient and try to engage him through play. The next time he didn’t respond, my observer snapped her fingers at him with a loud HEY, NAME.
I immediately cut her off and told her not to snap at patients, that it’s rude, and treat them like a pet. She said ‘Oh, sure. Okay.’ And not ten minutes later, did it again to the same child. When I reminded her again, she told me it didn’t seem like that big of a deal, especially since the patient wouldn’t remember it.
Okay. Not a big deal, then.
For the rest of the day, if she tried to get on her phone during a session, I snapped my fingers at her to get her attention. The first time didn’t seem to get to her, but I could tell by the fourth or fifth, it was really getting under her skin.
Finally, she asked me to stop, and I told her it wasn’t a big deal, right? She went quiet and excused herself from the session. I found out from another clinician she asked to go home for the day.
I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but when I told my husband, he agreed it wasn’t cool of her, but thinks I went a little too far.
I’m starting to think he might be right.
AITJ?”
20. AITJ For Telling My Ex's Partner He Used To Cook For Me?
“I share a friendship group and a daughter with my ex.
We were at the same party when the subject of spouses cooking came up between the ladies. My ex’s partner said my ex didn’t know how to cook because he had always had someone to do it for him and he wasn’t interested in learning.
She kept saying it would be so romantic if my ex would cook for her like another friend’s husband did.
My friend Emily told her he could cook but she was insisting he couldn’t. Emily brought up how my ex used to cook for me all of the time during my pregnancy but the woman insisted he probably had his cook do it for him and took credit to make me think he was the one who made the food.
She wanted me to back her up but I used to watch my ex cook most of the time and when we were together, I planned dates where we would cook together and he would always do most of the work so he definitely could cook, and is very good at it.
I told her this and she barely said anything for the rest of the night.
When my ex came to collect our daughter, he looked annoyed at me and wanted to speak privately before they left. He asked me why I told his partner he used to cook for me and I told him because he did.
For some reason he got angry and told me he did that because I was pregnant and he wanted me to be happy and healthy and I wasn’t eating much of the things cooked by other people. He said he didn’t have time to do that now and his partner was accusing him of loving me more than her.
Even though he was already annoyed I pointed out how he also cooked with our daughter sometimes. He told me that wasn’t the point and I needed to stop causing issues for him.
AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Not Wanting To Take Care Of My Sister-In-Law's Kids If We're Going To The Zoo?
“My sister-in-law (husband’s sister) and I don’t really get along.
We don’t fight or anything; we’re just very different people and keep it to shallow pleasantries. We each have two children and are primarily stay-at-home moms. I do have a business that I run during nap time and after bedtime, but my day-to-day life is more like a stay-at-home mom.
Recently, SIL and her kids were in town with her parents for three weeks, and they all wanted to go to the zoo. I really try to only spend time with them when my husband, who works a typical 9-5 job at an office, is available, which usually means weekends.
Weekends at our local zoo can get really busy, so we tried to plan a time for my husband to take off work so we could go on a weekday. My husband’s closest coworker’s mom passed away, so he ended up not being able to take off work so that his coworker could have time off.
Then, my MIL and FIL ended up not being able to leave their place for two weeks. Luckily, SIL traveled separately and hadn’t been in contact with them yet, so she and her kids are fine. So it would be down to just SIL, me, and both sets of kids to go to the zoo.
I’m not necessarily opposed to just going to the zoo with her and the kids, but it would be difficult. My own kids take some wrangling, and SIL is very used to having a lot of childcare help. I don’t believe she’s ever actually taken her kids to any kind of outing without her mom or MIL to help her.
I made it very clear to SIL that I wouldn’t be able to help her with her kids at the zoo because my attention would be fully on my own children, and she decided it would be best not to go to the zoo then.
Problem solved? Not so fast.
SIL somehow found out that I had already made plans months before with a few of my friends and their kids to go to the zoo during the time period my in-laws would be visiting. One of my friends doesn’t have kids, so SIL just assumed that she would help with her kids and that then we could all go to the zoo together.
I said no and gave the following reasons:
1. My friend should not have to play babysitter during a trip to the zoo.
2. This was already a planned trip that did not include SIL or her kids.
3. She had already said she was no longer interested in going to the zoo.
But most of all – which I didn’t mention to her obviously – my SIL just isn’t a very nice person. She’s not overtly mean, but she was raised very spoiled and can’t read a room to save her life, so she says a lot of cringeworthy, patronizing, and/or belittling things to people.
She’s also a perpetually stressed-out person, and it’s exhausting to be around her, especially when she has her kids. She’s just not an enjoyable person to be around, and my friends and I want to have a good time together.
I feel bad that my SIL’s kids are basically unable to do fun things while my in-laws are out of commission, but if SIL’s not willing or able to actually parent her kids on her own, that shouldn’t be my responsibility or my friend’s responsibility.
AITJ?”
18. AITJ For Being Mad At My Husband's Ex For Planning Activities With Her Son On Our Days With Him?
“My husband and I have been married for almost a year, together for over 4 years.
We both have children from past relationships. Mine (f 14, m 12) and his one (m 9). This issue is about my stepson, or more accurately his mom (my husband’s ex).
This Saturday, we had planned a pool party with family and friends.
We had this planned since last week
He told me today (Monday) that his ex signed his son up for a soccer tournament on Saturday (our weekend with him). Now I have to note that this is not the first time that she has planned something or signed him up for something without checking with us if we had plans or not.
He had a tournament about a month ago and my husband was gone for the full weekend, leaving me to deal with everything. There have been other instances of this but this is the most recent. She is constantly overstepping with her relationship with him.
I am glad that they are civil but she is constantly texting him and calling him, sometimes late at night, and he sees nothing wrong with it, or he complains to me that she is like this but won’t stand up to her.
He sees nothing wrong with her planning things on weekends that we have him (we have all three kids every other weekend).
It is getting to the point where I feel like he is prioritizing her and her wants. He says it is because of his son (who, by the way, is recovering from an injury that he should not even be playing for the rest of the season).
I am just getting so tired of this and need advice because I do not know what to do.
So please tell me if I am a jerk or not.
Edit: I know she didn’t pick the weekend of the tournament. And it’s not that he is playing that’s the issue, all three of our kids are in sports/activities.
It’s that she knew about it and didn’t let us know until a week before that I have the issue with.”
17. AITJ For Restricting The Use Of The Microphone At Our Wedding?
“I (27 m) and my fiancé (26 f) are getting married soon and we’re so excited! We’ve planned our wedding by design so that our families won’t have to do much in our wedding outside of just enjoying themselves. We have staff and such setting things up, taking photos, etc. We really want the experience to go smoothly, considering how much can go wrong.
During the reception, the master of the ceremony has a microphone that people can use to make toast or make a little speech. We are inviting a few people to our wedding that we worry would take advantage of the mic and say inappropriate things.
Also, during the span of my relationship with my fiancé, we’ve had issues with some of my family openly expressing dislike of her and talking badly of us behind our backs. She was not met with welcoming arms, even though she treats me SO well, is a kind and loving partner, is successful, smart, and has gone out of her way to try to fit in.
This was really hurtful, and I feel my bond with my immediate family after calling them out on their behavior hasn’t been the same since.
We also had an incident where my little brother lied to a few of my family members, or assumed (I have no idea at this point) about being my best man before asking me about it.
I had not planned on making him my best man, and instead of telling my family that he was mistaken or misunderstood, he sent me a wall of angry texts about how I should have picked him, and that I lied to him about who my best man was.
(I did not lie, I’ve known who my best man would be for over a year before our engagement.)
All of this considered the DJ we are hiring asked us if we would like to restrict the use of the microphone to people who ask and we approve of using it beforehand.
We said yes, and I sent a message to a family group chat saying that if anyone would like to use the microphone at our reception, to let me know beforehand so I can communicate that with our DJ/mater of the ceremony.
The response was not good.
A few family members have acted appalled that I would say such a thing, and are upset about our choice to be careful about who can use a microphone to say whatever they want to, loudly, during our reception. I really just want to avoid giving that power to someone who might choose that opportunity to say something nasty and try to ruin our wedding.
We’ve been dreaming of our wedding for so long, and we’ve put so much effort in to make sure nothing goes wrong, but multiple people have been open about their disapproval of us being together – even though we are perfect for each other and we’ve never been happier in our lives.
AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Thinking Of Not Coming To My Sister's Wedding?
“My sister is getting married soon, and as her brother, I will undoubtedly be invited to it. I’m happy for my sister and her future husband, but I just don’t feel like going to her wedding.
Why? It stems from the fact that my sister’s future brother-in-law is gay. His parents and family are accepting of his sexuality, even his grandparents. My parents also seem to acknowledge his identity and act nice around him, and they even asked him about his love life once.
Why does this matter? Well, I also happen to be gay. My parents think I have a mental illness while seeming to accept and respect my sister’s future brother-in-law. I confronted my mother about this, and she justified it by saying that gay men who are feminine and have those types of traits forever are gay and should be accepting while people like me (who are somewhat masc presenting) are people with mental illnesses who need fixing.
This has simply shattered my self-esteem and sometimes I can’t even sleep at night and I’ve even gone back into the closet with people I meet. My parents’ double standard destroyed me and now I can barely get myself to see them talk to the family of my sister’s fiancé.
I just don’t want to celebrate a ceremony involving two families and one in which I am expected to hide myself. Asian weddings are long ceremonies and I can’t see myself looking at my parents talk gleefully for days around my sister’s brother-in-law, while if I do the same, I’ll get verbally attacked and told to get lost.
Perhaps this all stemmed from jealousy, since I’ve never been in a relationship and my sister’s future brother-in-law has a loving partner who might even attend the wedding and be celebrated for it.
On the other hand, I’m scared that if I don’t attend the wedding, it would look bad on me that I didn’t attend, and it might hurt my sister’s feelings since she might think my personal problems are more important than a very important event in her life.
(My sister is tolerant of my sexuality.)
I know this rant is very self-centered and pathetic but I need to know if what I’m thinking is wrong or not.”
15. AITJ For Letting My Daughter Face The Consequences Of Cutting Her Own Hair?
“My 10-year-old daughter wanted bangs for a long time because a friend of hers recently had her hair cut and had bangs cut and it ended up being very cute.
My daughter has beautiful hair, it’s very long, but it’s thin. I had my cousin, who is a hairdresser who actually has an area of focus on kids haircuts, consult and she said that if we cut bangs into my daughter’s hair it wouldn’t look right due to how thin her hair is.
I normally let my daughter have a say in the choices she makes regarding clothes and hair but on this one, I put my foot down because I know it won’t look good and she is going to wind up unhappy. My cousin also uploaded a photo of my daughter to FaceApp and showed me what she would look like with bangs and it just wasn’t a good look (I know FaceApp isn’t 100% accurate but it was pretty close in this regard).
The day before yesterday my daughter told me she was going to take some alone time in our bathroom. It was only after she’d been in the bathroom a while that I noticed the scissors I keep in the kitchen were missing. These are big meat scissors.
And then I heard her in the bathroom crying so I made her open the door and she was hunkered with her back to me, sobbing, and I saw a hunk of hair in the sink.
She had watched a TikTok compilation of people cutting their hair and trying to do bangs!
It was not a good result. The hair doesn’t lay flat, she cut very unevenly, and she cut too short (using your index finger place the tip in the center part and go down to the first bend and that’s how short she cut).
I really didn’t know what to say so I made sure hadn’t hurt herself with the scissors, which she didn’t.
I looked at her hair and realized I wasn’t going to be able to even it up myself, so I called my cousin, who came over and made the cut even but it required cutting shorter, and now her hair is messed up.
My daughter is mortified and doesn’t want to go into public now.
She keeps begging me to fix it even though I’ve explained it to her, and my cousin explained it can’t be fixed. So I told her, ‘This is what happens when you don’t listen. You made the mistake yourself. You hid in the bathroom because you knew it was wrong.
You have to live with the consequences and wait for it to grow.’
My husband says I’m being very cold and unsympathetic and that our daughter is 10, she didn’t know any better, she was just learning and doing what kids do. I feel that she knew exactly what she was doing and that it was wrong, hence her hiding from me.
My husband said that if I had just taken her to the salon and had her hair cut then she wouldn’t have done it herself. My daughter hates the bangs and says my cousin was right that it wouldn’t look good so if I had taken her to get it done then she’d be blaming me.
We’re at a stalemate.
AITJ?”
14. AITJ For Causing My Husband To Scold My Stepson?
“I’ve been with my husband, Tim, for 12 years. My stepson, Gabe, is the product of my husband’s old marriage. I’ve known Gabe since he was 3 and he’s currently 15.
Gabe’s mother has the right to visit every other weekend and the majority of custody has been with Tim for 8 years.
And because of her new relationship with her current one and new children, she and Gabe don’t have a close relationship.
I can’t have children, because of health reasons, so in Gabe’s time, I allowed myself to be a mother figure and I’m proud to be called Mom by him to this day.
And when I say being a mother figure, I taught him to be the person he is, created a college fund, helped with homework, grounded him when necessary, etc.
My husband is a little stricter and we often disagree on how to deal with Gabe and educate him, but never in front of him and we always pass the same positioning.
A few months ago, Tim started using the coin that he was HIS son with his ex, I shouldn’t get involved so much. And this is causing some arguments because I know who I am for our son.
In the last discussion (not a common thing), when he used this reason, I warned him that in the next one, I would tell Gabe what his father was saying (Gabe hates being suggested that I am less of his mother because I am not of blood and already corrected the father when he quoted it once).
I think my husband didn’t believe it and yesterday he did it again. I talked a little and went to Gabe’s room, explained the whole situation and what Tim said because I was really upset about this situation, and who should feel about me being a mother figure is him.
Gabe got angry and ended up arguing with his father.
They’re kind of awkward today, but my husband said in the bedroom that I shouldn’t involve Gabe in our fights and that it caused an awkward mood between them, for something that was between us.
AITJ?
Extra: Gabe’s mom and I don’t have a problem about Gabe, we did at first, but now it’s okay.”
13. AITJ For Being Upset That We Didn't Celebrate My Accomplishment?
“I (18 f) passed all of the GED state tests with flying colors, and ‘graduated’ 3 months earlier than I was supposed to, there was no graduation ceremony or anything of the sort.
Of course, I was proud of myself for being able to accomplish this BUT when I passed the tests it felt like nobody else cared.
One day my brother (22 M) and my mom were downstairs. I had just gotten my GED certificate in the mail and I really wanted to show them so I ran downstairs and handed it to my mom, now my mom just kind of shrugged it off and seemed almost annoyed at me when I tried to show her my GED certificate.
On the other hand, my brother wouldn’t even look at it, I kept trying to hand it to him but he just got mad and yelled ‘Okay! I already saw it go away’, I felt hurt that nobody seemed to care. I was sad and went upstairs.
Later that day one of my mom’s friends came over and I really wanted to show her since she’s very enthusiastic.
When I got downstairs my mom and her were talking about how my brother graduated from high school and how proud they were for him (my brother technically graduated 3 years ago).
My brother went through something called Super Senior, where he had to do senior year twice because he didn’t have enough credits, he even did online classes a year later so technically he was a super SUPER senior. I was upset and I yelled ‘But see I graduated 3 MONTHS EARLY’.
My mom yelled at me saying that I’m a jerk for saying something like that in front of my brother. I went upstairs and my mom followed me and yelled ‘You hurt your brother’s feelings! You’re such a jerk’ and then she left and I cried.
I admit I didn’t really think before saying but I just really wanted someone to see my accomplishment. How come my brother was praised and even had several congrats parties when he graduated but when I did I didn’t even get a ‘good job’. We never celebrated my getting my GED and I still feel hurt that nobody in my family cared.
A few days ago I wanted to see if I could graduate with my class from the high school I went to, since I did my GED program through my school but they told me that I’m not allowed to because I don’t have enough credits, I tried to argue saying that I already passed state tests so it shouldn’t matter, I only wanted to walk like tradition.
I didn’t want any sort of diploma or anything. This is taking a great toll on me as my significant other’s (M 17) graduation is this weekend and the closer we get the sadder I am, I feel selfish that I am jealous of him being able to have a graduation, but of course, I’m proud of him.
I’m really regretting getting my GED, if I didn’t get it then I’d still have a graduation, I’d still be able to wear a cap and gown, and maybe my parents would’ve been proud of me and thrown me a party like they did my brother.
AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Getting A Delivery Woman Fired?
“About 2 months ago I ordered some dinner from Doordash for me (15 f) and my mother (41 f). We tipped nicely, it was a small order and short-distance. Now we live in a motel and I know from the front office it’s hard to get to our room so I left good instructions saying which ways, where to go if you somehow get lost, please leave at the door and don’t knock.
At this time I had a broken wrist AND broken ankle. It was very painful for me to walk and carry stuff. My mom couldn’t have gone because she has severe arthritis and is in pain almost all the time.
So we order, and it goes smoothly, I text the Dasher to please text me if there are any problems. Well, they get here and I can see them sitting in their car, just on their phone.
They waited like 5-10 minutes before getting out and looking around. I look down as I get a text and see it’s them asking where to go.
I tell them to please come into the office and follow instructions. Well, they don’t listen to them.
The office calls me saying she is refusing to come back and won’t leave till I come get it. At this point, I’m mad because it hurts us both to walk and the doctor has told me to not walk unless absolutely necessary.
She did mutter something about not being able to go back, and I’m friends with the front desk attendants so I definitely believe them that she wouldn’t come back.
So I went since my mom couldn’t and the Dasher was like ‘Here’ and shoved the food into both of my hands despite seeing the cast. She then looked me up and down and scoffed, judging my sports bra and sweatpants.
So I went back to our room and our food was completely cold, probably from just sitting there.
So I messaged Doordash and told them the story and they told me she would be getting deactivated and I got $10 Doordash credits.
I think back on it and think I may be the jerk.
AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Not Letting My Mother Make Up For Her Absences In My Life Events?
“I never let my mom attend my orchestra concerts anymore.
It hurts me to see her so sad over the fact that she doesn’t get to participate in my extracurricular life, but I can’t bring myself to let her watch.
For years, she always made negative comments about my playing abilities. No matter how I performed, she would have something to critique.
I understand that criticism is necessary, but it was incredibly discouraging – especially since she has no understanding of music theory and just says that my music is ‘not passionate enough’ with no real feedback. I always played significantly worse when my mother was watching because the anxiety she induced was debilitating.
When she watched my concerts, she didn’t pay attention to what was happening. One year, there was a huge announcement that one of the music teachers was retiring. There was even a shower of flowers for said teacher. However, my mother didn’t even notice such a large thing happening.
It makes me wonder if my mother is even watching.
The final straw happened when I was a mere seventh-grader. I had never been a fan of wearing dresses and was planning on wearing a white button-up with black formal pants to a performance. My mother insisted that I wore this large frilly dress and refused to see otherwise.
I compromised and made the last-second decision to wear my white button-up on top of the dress so that the frilly black skirt was still there. In the car, she screamed at me and dropped me off. She ‘refused to watch a concert where my daughter looks so ugly’.
I cried as I played.
My father had to come to pick me up.
For years, she had no interest in watching me play anymore. However, last year, she began to ask if she could come watch me at my concerts. I said no each time.
Recently, she’s tried to become a better mother. I understand that she’s trying, but it’s difficult for me to let go of so many years of trauma that stem beyond the orchestra. I feel guilty seeing her so sad about not being able to go, but I just don’t think I could mentally handle her being at one of my performances.
I really don’t know what to do.
Am I being a jerk?”
10. AITJ For Not Joining Family Trip Because Of A Woman From Our Support Group?
“I (30 f) have 4 kids (10, 9, 6 & 3).
1 & 3 are autistic.
Prior to 2020, my mom (51 f) and I attended support groups to help my kiddos meet children like them. I have anxiety & have difficulty attending things like this. With mom’s support, we went regularly and met V (27 f) who has 3 kids: T (10), R (10), and H (7).
I found it hard to connect with Vicki, we just have two different personalities. I suspect that I’m autistic myself so struggle to socially connect with people and prefer a small selection of trusted people. Whereas Vicki is very outspoken and carefree. I tried to connect in the beginning but even though V was brash at times, I thought she was a good mother & advocated for her children who have had health scares.
I sympathized and met with her a few times to build a connection but it mostly made me uncomfortable so I stopped. My mom and V built a friendship and frequently went out together. V also befriended my sister (31 f) but it ended as V texted inappropriate things to my BIL.
Since last summer, we have organized family outings and V was invited. But these outings made me not want to be around V anymore because they’ve become horrible. V doesn’t follow through with discipline or laughs at things her children do.
Last June my oldest needed stitches because H threw a rock at his head.
T & H swore at my kids and when I told them not to use that language, V shouted at me ‘for getting involved in her business’. At Christmas, V stayed with my mom and when we visited H put my 6-year-old’s shoes in the heated oven unsupervised.
On New Year’s Eve, my mom had a party where V got wasted and felt up my husband. Police were called but nothing was done so I told my mum that we weren’t coming to events if V was there, my kids don’t feel safe around V’s children and we aren’t comfortable being around V.
The kids will be on summer vacation soon and my mom suggested a trip with my family and my sister’s. We both agreed, as long as V wasn’t coming, and we set up a group chat to organize the trip.
A week later, Mom added V to the chat, and our original plan was overhauled and V planned something else.
V said the trip was for all the grandchildren and we shouldn’t exclude her, I flipped. I told her that her children weren’t grandchildren and the trip was for family only, she isn’t classed as such. V called me a jerk and left the chat.
Since then, I’ve had constant harassment from my mom and V saying I’m a jerk and upset V. I won’t apologize. But now mom is freezing me out and refusing to see her grandkids because of me.
So, AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Wanting To Ask My Mother-In-Law To Visit Us Less Often?
“My partner (M 25) had never had a significant other before. We met (I’m F 26) and after some time, we moved in together. He lived in Sydney with his parents and 2 older brothers – and he relocated to Melbourne to be with me.
Initially, I thought it was sweet the relationship he had with his mother.
He would have coffee with her, stay home for dinner every night, and be really respectful of her and her wishes. At home, she does everything: all of their laundry, all of the cooking and cleaning, birthday party set up, they don’t pay bills or rent either.
Then it started getting a bit weird when he got a partner (me)…
She started crying every time he visited me (interstate);
She cleaned his room when he was gone;
She laid out his work clothes on his bed for when he returned home;
She purchased him a new lunch box, drink bottle, sandwich container, bag, new socks, and undergarments for the ‘new work year’… like it was some sort of back-to-school shop;
She would message and call daily.
Now he’s moved into my house (in Melbourne), and it’s progressed…
She won’t get rid of the furniture in his room;
His dad wants to change the room into a study/office and she said no because she ‘wants to leave it as it is in case he returns’;
She started unpacking some of the belongings he boxed up, and setting them up on his dresser and shelves;
She constantly asks about the next visit;
She cries (in Sydney) whenever she sees his car (the same type/model etc) and messages him about it;
She messages him telling him to look at the moon so they can look at it together.
We are now pregnant with our first child. And she wants to stay for a month after the baby’s born. I don’t feel comfortable with this at all.
Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand it would be hard to live in a separate state from your children. But this year she’s already flown down here 5 times.
When she visits:
She brings pots, pans, and food to make her son his ‘favorite meals’;
She cries all day on the last day of the visit because she’s leaving;
She cooks dinners and makes lunches for her sons back at home while she’s away (they’re 28 and 30).
There was also a comment made by her about the fact that he was doing ‘far too much’ at home (when she visited) and essentially I should be doing ALL of the housework.
I’ve approached my partner about this but he was always told to ‘be respectful’ and not cause any conflict. He said he doesn’t know how to word things and doesn’t want to cause any drama.
Someone help me with what I can do?
If you have a parent who lives interstate, how often are the visits? AITJ for wanting the visits spread further apart? I’m trying to not step on any toes but at the same time, this is affecting me too.”
8. AITJ For Taking Money Out Of My Husband's Account To Buy My Daughter A New iPhone?
“My daughter is 16. She had her old phone for 5 years and always wanted a new phone, I’m the only one working right now since my husband decided to take ‘a break’ from work after he inherited some money from his dad.
I saw that she did pretty well at school despite having mental health issues that had gotten in the way of her focus before so I decided to keep her encouraged and reward her by getting her an Apple iPhone that cost a good sum of money.
I did my best to save money to buy it, I literally skipped paying for breakfast at work to be able to afford it, and my husband didn’t want to help so I was on my own.
I bought her the iPhone and quite honestly, I haven’t seen her this happy in a while, it was refreshing for me because she really went through some hard times in the past couple of years emotionally and mentally.
My husband wasn’t happy with this he said the iPhone would only distract her from school and chores but that wasn’t true, in fact, it encouraged her to do more. But he still said I shouldn’t have spent that kind of money on an iPhone that she might be irresponsible with and break.
My daughter picked up on his attitude towards the iPhone but I told her to ignore him.
Days ago, I found out that he broke the iPhone, I asked why and he said he asked her to get him something from the toolbox in the garage but she was on the iPhone and ignored him.
He used this incident as evidence that the iPhone was a bad influence but I yelled at him and demanded he replace it, he said he wouldn’t so I took money out of his account, paid for a new iPhone, and gave it to my daughter.
He saw what I did and went off on me calling me vicious and awful and accused me of stealing his father’s money and demanded the money I took, every single penny back. I basically told him it wouldn’t happen, he got his mother on me saying I was setting a terrible example for my daughter by getting her a phone paid for with money that I stole from her dad.
My husband said he won’t speak a word to me til I fix this but I already said I owe him nothing.
AITJ for this?
ETA: He’s her biological father, not stepdad. And the price for the iPhone where I live is a thousand dollars and it’s not cheap.
Finding out that I took a thousand dollars out of his inheritance really got him so furious that he said I was the worst woman he met in his life (he had 2 ex-wives if this is in any way relevant) he took it back later then said he won’t speak til the money is back.”
7. AITJ For Threatening To Press Charges On My Neighbors For Trespassing?
“I (35 F) work as a dog trainer and in my free time, I take in battered and very abused large breeds.
Most of them have exhibited uncontrollable aggression. I do not take them lightly and I am aware of the risk. I have a special part of the house that is under lock and key and inaccessible to my 12 and 14-year-olds.
They know not to even get near the first month or two around these dogs but even if they want, they can’t. Around the third month if everything is going to plan I do introduce them to the rest of our house.
When I determine, usually around the 6th month, that they have recovered completely I adopt them out.
Our neighbors have complained time and time again, that they are afraid one of these dogs would get out. I have reinforced cages and training grounds that make it impossible for these dogs to even go in my yard. I invested a lot of money to make sure everyone was safe.
No one has gotten out.
I’ve had the police called, CPS… wildlife control even for some reason. As I am licensed and have all the paperwork and precautions, nothing has come out of it. However, it is wearing me down. I have at least one visit to some form of government agency checking on a complaint every month.
My neighbors would not stop bothering me or my kids when they went over to friends’ houses about this. They beg my children to make me ‘stop’. Like I am an addict or something.
My neighbors are trying to include some sort of a rule with our HOA to make it impossible for me to do this anymore.
I got a lawyer after I caught on video several neighbors trespassing onto my property to make a video of a terrified dog in my house. I sent the camera footage to some neighbors and said I would be pressing charges next time someone came snooping around.
One of the few neighbors that I get along with came over and called me a jerk. They trespassed for only a few minutes and a few feet on my property which could have been an honest mistake. She said I overreacted to get a lawyer and I was ostracising everyone even more.
AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Wanting My Hurting Back To Get Checked Up By A Doctor?
“I (13) have scoliosis, I know I do, my old doctor told me and my parents when I was in 5th grade, and I am currently in 8th grade. O.Doc. Said that it wasn’t a big damage but it’s still there because I kept my head tilted to the side, that’s how I’m used to it, I still do that.
Well, last year (in 7th grade) my back pain got worse and I kept complaining to my parents. There was a time when I lived with my aunt for an environment change after an attempt. She, my aunt, also told my parents several times to take me to a doctor again, after I also told her that my back kept hurting.
There was also a time when I cried because of the pain. Well, I told my parents to take me to a doctor almost every day, until my mom yelled at me, and told me to stop bothering them about it. So I did. I got used to the pain after a while, but now it’s worse than it was.
At the beginning of this school year, my younger brother and I got sick at the same time and mom had to take us to our recent doctor, we changed doctors because we moved, and she almost told her but forgot it because there were at least 5 people in the room (not counting the 3 of us) and they talked at the same time, asking mom questions.
Okay, valid, that’s fine.
Like, two months ago, I brought my scoliosis up to my gym teacher because I asked her to let me sit for a while because it hurt really bad. I also told her that I stopped nagging my parent about it because I annoyed them.
She told me that I should start telling them again, so it’s ‘not too late’. (People will understand later)
Well, some days ago, I complained again, and my dad just said ‘Again?’ My mom just let out an obviously annoyed sigh, so I dropped it.
I know I annoying them, but the pain also keeps me up late at night, because I can’t find a way to lie down, how it’ll hurt less. I’m starting to think that I’m being paranoid, because one of my classmates, also a friend of mine, is gonna have spine surgery in March.
And by ‘too late’ my teacher meant that I wouldn’t end up like them, considering that their scoliosis got this bad in under a year, and would need surgery. My scoliosis is likely not that bad, but at this point, who knows? I don’t want to keep annoying my parent with it, but what else could I do?
I can’t just go to my doctor because when I could, I was in school, in a different city.
Long story short: I kept complaining to my parent that my back hurt, mom got annoyed and yelled at me, so I stopped. Now my back hurts way more but I don’t want to keep annoying them.”
5. AITJ For Being Upset At My Sister-In-Law For Canceling On Babysitting Our Son?
“I (29 F) gave birth to my second son in Nov 2021. My oldest son is 6 from a previous relationship; his father and I co-parent very well. He’s in school so doesn’t need childcare and we just need help until summer comes & can get them into daycare.
My ex is helping facilitate that with my oldest. We live in what would be considered a rural area and since the global crisis hit, daycare has been an absolute nightmare.
I got pregnant. My husband and I are pretty well off financially, but we aren’t ‘pay for a private school or expensive private daycare’ well-off if you get what I’m saying.
We immediately called daycares to put the new baby on waiting lists if we could, but there were very few. There’s a bit more background but I guess I’ll spare it if there are any questions. In the end, we decided to ask family to help until summer.
He has a sister with 2 under 2 who is a stay-at-home mom – love her but we felt awful for asking her to take on more. My family isn’t involved at all.
His brother’s wife, however, is essentially a stay-at-home wife. He works a very good job and she does some volunteer work but does not work and they don’t have children.
They also live two doors down. We asked when we first found out I was pregnant if she’d be willing to take on a couple of days per week (my husband’s mom was more than willing to do 3 days – she’s a total grandma and wants the kids as much as possible) when I go back after (we both work 5, eight-hour shifts) and she said yes (we offered $300 a week for those two days).
I made it clear if she ever needed time off we could recruit even my ex’s family to help as they’re still really caring for me and my family. Throughout the pregnancy, I kept worrying that it would be too much or she was just saying yes to be polite or out of obligation.
I asked her a few different times and she always said she was excited to have her nephew around.
I’m supposed to start next week and started talking to her the other day about the schedule. She said okay! Then last night my husband’s brother texted him apologizing, saying his wife will not be watching our child and we have to figure something else out.
I called her and asked what was going on and she was very vague; refused to talk about it really and I told her if she had just been honest from the start about wanting to do it, it wouldn’t be an issue, and she hung up on me.
I’m so mad I feel like I have steam coming from my ears. My husband says she is not obligated to and I GET that. She’s not. But this wouldn’t be an issue really if she had told us much sooner and like I said, I had a ‘gut feeling’ about it and asked a few different times.
AITJ here for being upset?”
4. AITJ For Changing A Customer's Dogs' Grooming Schedule?
“I’m a dog bather in a corporate salon and I make 11$ hourly, plus usually like 10-25$ a week in tips. I have a regular who has a few MASSIVE Pyrenees Akitas (130 pounds each) and she gets a full de-shed on all of them, they typically take the entire day to do and they SEVERELY clog up my schedule because we technically are not supposed to book them together.
However I always happily take them because their owner compensates me for my work since corporate can’t be bothered to do it. She typically tips 40$ per dog.
Lately, she has stopped tipping at all despite always saying she’s very happy with the results and I get it, I really do, prices are going up everywhere and the economy is crap right now.
Because of this, I made a note for myself and the other groomers to change how we book her, I planned to start taking one of her dogs a day and booking out a little bit farther than she typically does so we can plan the entire week around these dogs.
If she can’t do this, then I think I’ll have to tell her that it’s the only way from now on and she’ll pretty much have to take it or leave it because of how much of a strain it is on us. It’s more inconvenient for her but if I’m not being compensated either by her or the company for how much physical labor these dogs are, then I feel like I should get to make that decision (and the rest of the salon staff is almost 100% in agreement with this, just one person isn’t sure).
Well, my family disagrees… I was talking about work with my parents and they both feel that I am being completely unfair to the customer and said that I shouldn’t make ANY decisions based on tips. My mom is a formal mobile groomer and has more experience in this industry than I do, she said that I should continue to let the customer bring them all in at once because if I can physically handle it when I’m being tipped, then I can physically handle it when I’m not being tipped. Changing things might deter the customer from coming back and that will be bad for business since she is one of the highest-paying customers we have at our location.
I’m torn because when I say it out loud I do feel like I sound greedy, but when I do the math I feel justified. The company charges this customer over 100$ per dog for our services. Because I only make hourly, after taxes, and without tips, I see about 15$ per dog regardless of breed or what service they get.
I’d happily bathe a chihuahua for that price, but not a Pyrenees Akita…
Edit: I get 11$ hourly and work 7.5 hours 5 days a week, so about 82$ a day before tax. Excluding tips and accounting for tax, it’s close to 77$ a day and I typically do 5 dogs a day.
Regardless of how long it takes and regardless of breed or service, it comes out to be 15.4$ per dog I do IF I hit that 5-dog mark which I do almost every day.
Also, despite changing her booking, I do very much like this customer and greatly appreciate how much she takes care of her dogs.”
3. AITJ For Yelling At My Sister-In-Law's Spoiled Daughter?
“I’ve been with my husband for over 9 years. His family and I don’t get along well and I’ve tried enough to make it work.
My husband doesn’t let me interact with his family because I’m an emotional person who would get upset when I feel disrespected and his family is exactly the kind that would be disrespectful.
My sister-in-law’s 12-year-old kid (Laura) is in my opinion very much spoiled and my sister-in-law would take no action in correcting her or telling her what’s right or wrong.
The first time I met her was when she was 6 and she said ‘Get lost’ when I tried to take my phone from her hand. I didn’t think much of it because she was too young to know how disrespectful she was being. Her mother looked at her and straight up laughed and said ‘My baby is so cute when she’s mad’.
This wasn’t the only incident, Laura spilled juice on my dress when my husband said my dress looked pretty, she tried to cut my hair while playing a game with me, ruined my lipsticks and makeup, and more. Her mother again saw these behaviors as ‘cute,’ ‘funny,’ and ‘harmless’.
Whenever my husband told her to not enable Laura to be the way she is, my sister-in-law would say ‘If (my name) didn’t get injured or harmed, my baby didn’t do anything wrong’.
Yesterday Laura visited my home, took around 300 bath bombs of mine, and dumped them into my bathtub.
Her mom gave it to her to play with because apparently the coloring books, my computer, and slime weren’t enough. My husband got 365 bath bombs for me as a present for New Year’s Eve because I take baths when I get anxious or upset.
When I caught Laura in the act, she screamed ‘Screw you, jerk’.
Now, even though I was angry. I very politely said, ‘You cannot talk to me that way. Get out of my bathroom’. She replied that it was my husband’s house and not mine. I yelled at her and said, ‘You disrespectful brat, get out now’.
Her mom hears it because her daughter’s throwing a whole tantrum. She starts to tell me that she’s just a kid and kids get bored with their toys. We go back and forth and I finally call my husband and ask him to tell my sister-in-law that she needs to take her bratty kid and leave.
My sister-in-law left eventually after she fought with my husband on the phone.
AITJ for reacting the way I did? Should I have been more patient?”
2. AITJ For Choosing My Best Friend Over My Partner And His Child?
“My (24 F) partner (28 M) and I started going out 5 months ago, I’ve noticed that he’s quite eager to do things quickly (wanting me to meet his mom on our 3rd date, meeting his kid before we became official, etc etc). He also doesn’t like the relationship I’ve with my best friend Frank (24 M) but I’ve been very clear about not dropping him just because he’s jealous.
Frank and I met when we were 6 and became best friends over a traumatic experience, he’s the person I trust the most and our relationship is strictly platonic.
While they’re friendly (mostly Frank, to be honest), they’re not friends and my partner refuses to share more time than necessary around him.
A few weeks ago I found myself in need of a roommate, I asked my female friend first but when they said no I asked my brothers and Frank, who said yes. I didn’t want to ask my partner because I thought it was too soon, I didn’t feel ready and I was not sure if I wanted to be in charge of a small kid just yet.
When I informed him about my decision (on the phone) he lost it and said that I should’ve told him instead, I was completely honest with him and he just said ‘Nonsense, let me fix it’ and hung up. I was confused but I thought that he would do or try something to bring us closer.
Instead, he showed up the next day with his kid and their things, Frank and I didn’t comprehend at first until he told him to get out and that he would ‘take care of me’, I told him that he couldn’t do this because I didn’t want to live with him and to please get out.
He tried to push it but then Frank threatened to call the police and said that it wasn’t fair for the boy. My partner left soon after that.
I’m pretty sure we broke up, but my friends are insisting that I should’ve handled it differently and that Frank was way out of line when he brought up the police.
I’m not sure about that but since there was a kid involved I’m feeling like a jerk and I think that I have to apologize.”
1. AITJ For Not Calling My Biological Father "Dad"?
“So, I (16 F) live with my mom (47 F) and two younger brothers (13 m and 8 m). My mom has been married twice. In her first marriage, she had my two older sisters, and in her second she had me and my two younger brothers.
My dad never really stuck around, like he would visit every 6 months and stay long enough to get my mom pregnant but would never live with us.
This was the case right up until my mom moved my two younger brothers and me with her overseas.
It’s important to note that this had a great effect on me because I thought that a normal family consisted of mom and kids living in the house while dad barely ever hung around and I didn’t know any better till I was 8 years old.
Recently my mom has been contemplating us moving overseas back to the same country as my dad and when she asked for my input I referred to him by his name rather than saying dad, when my mom picked up on this she was mad and I just said I barely know him and he hasn’t done anything worth noting in my life so I can’t really see him as a father.
This led to us having a full screaming match and me walking out of the house. Most of what she said involved the line ‘He is still family’ and ‘You wouldn’t exist without him’ and most of what I said was ‘Why should I refer to him as dad if he never acted like one’.
I also said ‘Maybe if you either got better judgment or was a better person maybe things would be different.’ Which I’ll admit was rather harsh because my mom was never taught how to choose who you’d marry but I still don’t think I’m in the wrong.
I told my older sister about it and she said she understands I don’t want to refer to him as dad but thinks I am a jerk because of what I said to her. I don’t know, maybe I am the jerk but I need other opinions.
So, AITJ?”
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