People Are Ready For Our Feedback On Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
34. AITJ For Telling My Friend To Open A New Personal Bank Account?
“I (42m) advised my friend (29f) to open her own bank account because her husband (39m) was becoming very possessive over funds in the joint account when she started making a good wage.
When they were first married she was a nanny without much of an income.
They agreed to have a joint account and split the bills. They used the shared account for expenses, child support, and everything.
She was able to use the joint account for going out and general expenses. She never spent much and respected that she didn’t make as much.
Also, it was and still is rare for her to go out without her husband
Over the years she got a well-paying job earning close to his income, equal or more.
She deposited her paychecks into the joint account and for a while, there were no issues.
She continued her frugal habits despite making and contributing similar money. They continued going out together like they always had perhaps splurging a little more.
All the while he began buying a lot of new things for himself. Shoes, computers, and more.
She spent a little bit updating her wardrobe because she had a new job and needed more professional clothing.
He became displeased with the additional amount they were spending and took away her card in order to control expenses.
He eventually returned it to her but complained whenever she used it.
This pattern continued for a year or two with him spending a lot on nice things and getting mad at her for using the card, even when she used it when they were out together and it could have been either of them.
When I came to understand the situation I advised her to open her own account and direct deposit into it. I continued to give this advice and to offer help to make that happen for months if not years.
Finally, she did open her own account and changed direct deposit into it.
I was so excited and proud of her for taking control of her finances.
Her husband was mad. He threw away the debit card when it arrived in the mail and claimed he thought it was junk mail.
I told him he was being unreasonable because she deserved to have control of her finances.
He called me a lot of names including a jerk. He also called her a lot of names including a jerk.
To be clear she is my friend and he is also although it’s strained. I have all along told him that it seemed (was) unfair.”
33. AITJ For Not Wanting To Go On Another Family Vacation With My Husband's Daughter?
“My husband and I (both in our late 40s) have been together 4 years, married 1. We have 3 kids between us, currently a 7-year-old female (mine), a 17-year-old female (his), and a 20-year-old female (his). His daughter, Becky (17), has a really hard time with our relationship.
It had been her and her dad for most of her life and she hated having to share him with someone else. It’s probably the first time she’s had to deal with her dad not putting her first. She would act out, yell, be purposefully disruptive and disobedient, and make things at home very uncomfortable.
We have all discussed this many, many times and have both told her we understand her feelings but need to work on adjusting her behavior. She’s currently in therapy.
Last summer, we went on a family vacation to his hometown. Becky starts demanding her dad’s attention right away, excluding others.
She gets angry any time we want to do something alone, so we don’t. She sits next to him at dinner and won’t speak or look at me. She walks next to him when we go out and completely ignores me and my daughter.
The hostility is palpable. I considered leaving early but didn’t because I knew how deeply it would hurt him. We talked about things when we got back, and he understands how hurtful Becky’s actions are to me.
We took another family vacation earlier this year.
Becky has been in therapy for a year now, and things started off well. About three days in, her demands, emotional outbursts, and anger start. It was too much. When we got home, I told my husband I wouldn’t be joining on family vacations for a while.
They are clearly upsetting to Becky and the tension and hostility make me extremely uncomfortable and upset. I can’t relax wondering when the next outburst is going to happen.
A few weeks later, he asks if I would be open to a family trip to his hometown.
Some friends of ours will be there and our kids love each other. I agree. We talked with Becky last night and she said she feels angry that we go on trips together (and that we shouldn’t go because we know it hurts her), feels like her dad doesn’t spend enough time with her alone (she comes home from school and goes straight to her room.
Sometimes for days) and feels like I get everything she doesn’t. So, I told him I won’t be going. I can’t put myself through another week of being shut out, putting myself last, and dealing with her anger and the resulting tension.
My husband is very upset by this and has basically shut down. He thinks I should go and that we can manage Becky’s emotions by scheduling some alone time for them in between more family-oriented times. I feel like I’ll be uncomfortable the whole time, wondering what’s going to happen next, and that’s no way to spend a vacation.
So, AITJ for not wanting to go on our family vacation?”
32. AITJ For Not Stopping My Child From Telling Off An Old Woman At The Grocery Store?
“I had to do an emergency grocery run because the delivery in my area was backed up. I took my kiddos: 5, 8, and 12 with me.
8 is on the spectrum and has trouble in places like grocery stores. I gave him an iPad with cellular and over-the-ear headphones.
He should be good to go. He doesn’t like loud noises or strangers touching him.
While in line, 12 is a lot of help with his brothers, so he’s trying to help me with 5 throwing junk food in the cart.
I decided to go to the cashier’s checkout, and then the line was long.
8 is good. Just chilling watching his cartoons with his headphones. Until this old lady behind us is upset over something. I’m ignoring her, but 12 grabs me and says I think we have an issue. The lady starts going on about kids today and technology.
She is trying to get 8’s attention. I don’t want to startle him, so 12 moves between them. But 5 is looking at more cookies.
The old woman told me my kids were rude, ignoring her. She taps on my 8-year-old, and I pull him aside.
He looks up from his iPad and takes his headphones off to see if something is wrong. I’m trying to get his headphones back on, and the old woman says these types of things are for at-home only, and I need to teach my kids to interact in public.
She tells 8 he’s old enough to know better than to act like this, scolding him loudly, publicly, and in the middle of the store.
8 starts to cry, the first sign of a meltdown with him. 12 turns to the old woman and says, ‘You stupid jerk.
He’s autistic.’ While I usually would tell 12 off, I have more issues to deal with. The old lady wants to talk to security and starts making a scene about my kids screaming they called her a jerk.
I finally leave a full cart of food there and leave.
Security tried to stop me, but I said I had to get 8 to the car. He has autism, and he’s going to have a major meltdown. 12 talks to security and tells him about the old lady in line.”
31. AITJ For Causing Someone To Get Suspended By Forwarding His Email To His Boss?
“I work in sales, in my industry there’s a lot of resentment towards sales because of the potential income you can make. That being said it’s all commission based, I know a number of sales guys who have second jobs to make ends meet.
I’ve always tried to be an operations-friendly salesperson. I know the reputation salespeople have, and I try to not be that way. I stop by the office once or twice a month with beer and pizza for operations, I’ve given the kid who works on all my orders a 1k bonus more than a handful of times when I’ve closed big deals, I give small Christmas gifts to everyone that does anything for me in the office.
Small things like that, and I never stress deadlines as long as we’re within a week or two of meeting them, I really try to be the easiest person you can work with.
My mentor, who made me the salesman I am today, sometimes funnels sales through me since he’s retired.
The company knows, no one has an issue and I owe the guy my professional career so I do these deals for nothing. I do all the legwork, get nothing and pay taxes on the income. It’s not much and I’m comfortable so it’s not a big deal.
I recently closed a sale for him that was a nightmare, I mean the worst customer I’ve ever dealt with.
At one point I had to cut a scheduled vacation with friends to Vegas short halfway through because the sale would have fallen through if I didn’t.
Again I never mentioned this to anyone just closed the sale. My mentor made more than I’ve made from any deal on that deal, as always he offered me a cut but I told him there’s no way I’d accept it and moved on.
While operations don’t see what we make on deals, the assumption is usually the bigger the sale the bigger the commission. That’s not always the case but they don’t know that.
When I closed this sale the kid I work with was hinting that he expected a huge bonus from me for this sale.
I laughed and told him sorry bud, nothing this time, I made nothing on this sale. I could tell right away that he didn’t like that answer and the conversation ended shortly after that. I assumed he was just bummed, which was fine.
The next day I got a long email from him going on and on about how hard he works, and how he doesn’t make a quarter of what I make a year, and if it wasn’t for him I couldn’t close a single sale.
Honestly, I skimmed it, forwarded it to his boss, and with a single sentence that read ‘This can never happen again.’ I found out the next day they suspended the guy and are considering firing him. I conveyed to his boss that I liked working with the kid and didn’t want to see him fired for 1 mistake but was told that my input wasn’t needed.
AITJ for possibly getting this kid fired?
To make things clear, this guy is an hourly employee and does not receive a bonus based on sales. Any bonus I’ve given him has been out of my own commission and the kindness of my heart.
Edit: I don’t call the guy kid to his face, I use his name which I’m obviously not going to do here. I wouldn’t call someone kid unless we had a close relationship and it was a term of endearment.
The kid did no extra work on this sale. While the customer was a nightmare the order was fairly standard. Larger orders don’t necessarily mean a larger workload for operations.
Operations don’t deal with the customer, ever.”
30. AITJ For Not Justifying My Nephew's Bad Behavior?
“I (24m) suffer from some mental health issues that I developed as a teen. I’m fine most of the time since I’m in therapy but I still have some triggers that pretty much make me relive my trauma.
My brother and his wife (both 38) have a son who is 18 now.
I love my nephew, I really do, but he’s a spoiled brat that makes everyone’s life miserable. He enjoys seeing people suffer and then acts like he has done nothing or anything. My brother and his wife always make the whole family back him.
Recently he found out about my trigger and is all out about making fun of me for it. My brother has told him off many times but then just tells me to live with it and I refuse.
Now onto what happened.
He made fun of one of my cousins (23f) for losing her partner, telling her he’s glad that he is gone and he hopes she loses her baby (she is pregnant). Well, he is now banned from every family event, from seeing our grandparents (his great-grandparents), and from our other sister’s home.
I myself have lost any hope in him.
However, my parents and my brother came to me and asked me to tell the family that he was just joking and he didn’t mean it. I told them to explain the joke to me about my trauma and the joke about how he’s glad our cousin is a widow and how it’s a joke wishing that she will lose her baby.
I told them if they can explain the funny part to me then I will go and talk to the rest of the family. They sat there for about a minute trying to come up with an answer but they couldn’t so I said I won’t do it. They called me a jerk for not backing my nephew. All I said was I’m fine with that. But I’m feeling bad for my brother so. AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Not Telling My Ex-In-Laws About My Wife's Baby Shower?
“The reason I’m (31 m) asking is because they were technically like my family for years. The issue was my late wife passed away from cancer. She had been fighting for years, a year after she died I began seeing a friend – now wife – Alice.
We kept it between us while it was starting out then fell deeply in love. We announced our relationship about 6 months later. My late wife’s family was absolutely NOT happy about it. Not like I expected them to be but the level it got to us was not what I thought would happen.
My ex-SIL, in particular, accused me of having an affair with Alice before my wife passed so everyone jumped on that. Her mom was calling Alice to tell her what an awful woman she was to sleep with a dying woman’s husband.
Meanwhile, none of this was ever true.
It hurt but the only way forward was to block them because all they did was try to guilt me for moving on too fast according to them and make me feel bad for falling in love again.
It’s now been over a year, we just got married a few months ago and my wife is 5 months pregnant. I heard from my brothers that my ex-in-laws wanted to make contact. Then others were suggesting reaching out to them since it seems like they want to be part of my life again.
My sister was the one who helped plan the baby shower along with Alice’s cousins so that news trickled down to them and they really wanted to go to show they support us. But to us, we feel like we don’t need nor want their support after how they acted in the past.
I never communicated with them if they were allowed to attend.
They found out it already passed and they were very upset. My ex-MIL is the most. Through my brother, they set up a surprise meet-up to try to talk things out but she was mostly hurt we refused to invite them because they want to be ‘part of this.’ Even if it really would’ve been weird to have my late wife’s family at a baby shower for me and my current wife, we were still family long before my wife and I got together.
Everyone still thinks I’m a jerk though for holding what they did against them and not letting them celebrate this special moment in my life. They say back then they were in the middle of grieving and seeing me move on with someone else made them direct their anger at that. This has been wearing me down completely for days with the constant talk about hurting people who I once considered my family. AITJ?”
28. AITJ For Telling My Brother's Partner To Stop Using Her Pregnancy As An Excuse To Be Lazy?
“My (18F) brother (21M) and his partner (20F) are currently living with my parents (40F & 46M). She moved in after my brother revealed that she is pregnant and that he wanted her to live with us in case something were to happen since he doesn’t have his own place and neither does she.
She is not a good person. She is extremely manipulative and she has bipolar. I have had problems with her in the past because I have caught her wearing my clothes, using my skincare and makeup, and just overall invading my privacy as well as my younger brother’s (17).
I brought this up to my parents and they took it with a grain of salt so I began to dislike her more and more as she continued to cause problems for me and my brother.
Anyways, she is 4 weeks pregnant and she is already milking stuff out of it.
She’ll whine to my brother about pregnancy cravings, how much her stomach hurts, how tired she is, how she needs a bigger bed to sleep in (they sleep on a twin-sized bed in the living room), and a bunch of other crap.
She also brought up quitting her job due to ‘feeling sick all the time’ and my parents opposed this since she wouldn’t be able to pay rent.
Fast forward a few days later and she quits anyways, and she doesn’t have rent money and neither does my brother since his payday wasn’t for another week or something.
So, they come up to my room and ask for 200 bucks to pay their rent. I tell them no, and she goes on this rant about how sick she feels and how much pain she is in ‘because of the baby’ and that she would have the money if she wasn’t forced to quit.
I explode on her and tell her that I don’t care that she is pregnant, a few weeks pregnant at that, and that she’s just using it as an excuse to leech off my parents and my brother.
We get into a screaming match which results in her crying and my brother calling me a ‘heartless witch’ and they run and tell my parents about how mean I was being to her.
My parents are on my side and they told her that I’m right about her being lazy and that they are not allowed to ask me and my younger brother for rent in the future, but they thought that I took it overboard by saying that I didn’t care that she was pregnant and for calling her a leech.
She and my older brother are ignoring me now and they said that if I don’t apologize for what I said then they are going to continue to not speak to me, and they are going to keep the baby away from me once she gives birth. I’m not sure if I should apologize, I want to be in the baby’s life but I simply do not feel sorry for anything I said. AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Telling My Mom's Husband That I Will Talk About My Dad Whenever I Want To?
“My mom (48f), is married to her husband (50m). I kinda grew up with him around and he sort of saw me as his daughter but it wasn’t mutual. I’m very clear w him that he’s not my father. Never will be.
My bio dad passed away in January 2021. My parents divorced when I was 1 year old. I used to live with him but when he passed away I moved in with my mom. Yesterday, we went to church (mom, husband, and me).
After church, we went out to eat. After eating, my mom said she had to return some chair covers she had borrowed. On the way to the lady’s house, I started talking about how one of my friends is gonna be homeschooled next school year.
I was telling my mom my thoughts on it. My mom said I might see things differently than her because she was raised with both her parents together and she’s used to them always agreeing on decisions in her life. I, on the other hand, didn’t.
I grew up with my parents separated and they both had their own beliefs religiously and about discipline.
While my mom was talking about me, her husband butted in and interrupted her. He started going on about how my dad was a jerk and a terrible person.
He said my dad didn’t care about me or my sister and said that he just had us for money and to spite my mom. I told him to stop talking about my dad and he continued. I gradually got louder shouting at him to stop saying these terrible things about my DEAD father.
He paused, and I paused. Then, he had the audacity to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to talk about my dad in the house. I immediately started yelling again, talking about how I’m gonna talk about my dad whenever I want to.
My mom was silent. Didn’t say a word. She didn’t say anything to either of us. When my mom got out of the car, (to return the chair covers) her husband looked at me in the backseat and told me ‘Don’t ever speak about your dad in my presence or in my house again.’ I immediately went off again going on about how I’m gonna talk about my dad whenever I want to.
He has no say over when or how I grieve MY father. He then raised his voice at me and started saying a lot of bad things about my dad. I blurred out and I yelled ‘STOP’ at the top of my lungs.
He was still trying to yell over me saying terrible things about my dad, so I grabbed my bag and stormed out of the car and I started walking.
I only walked a block before they found me and dragged me to the car.
The ride home was silent. When we got home I went straight to my room and didn’t talk to them for the rest of the day.
This morning I told my mom I’m gonna ignore him until he apologized. She said I should be the bigger person and do it myself.
I shouldn’t be the one to apologize, because when I talk about my dad it’s to grieve him.
I miss my dad so much and I don’t think I’m ever gonna not miss him. His talking bad about my dad made me upset because I don’t wanna hear these bad things about him. My last memory of my dad is a good one and I don’t want it to be ruined, especially by him. Am I the jerk?”
26. AITJ For Not Shaving My Head In Support Of My Cousin With Cancer?
“I (15F) have a cousin, Anna, also 15F. We spent every minute together growing up and I only ever really think of her as my best friend, not as my cousin. A few weeks ago, Anna got diagnosed with cancer. I won’t go into the details but it was a shock to all my family and while the doctors said she should survive with treatment, they suggested she start chemo as soon as possible.
I haven’t been going to school much the past weeks and have been staying at their house most of the time. Anna has difficulties making friends, and I think she just wanted to be with someone she actually trusted (not that she doesn’t trust her parents but it’s a different kind of trust).
Obviously, it’s a horrible situation but she’s taken it reasonably well considering the circumstances. She decided to shave her head before starting chemo and booked an appointment to get it done.
A few days before the appointment my aunt invited me and my mum over and told us she was going to surprise Anna by shaving her head too when she was out getting hers done.
We thought it was a great idea and I know it would mean a lot to Anna. However, she then asked my mum and I to do it with her. My mum agreed, but I didn’t want to. I know it sounds selfish, but I know Anna and I really didn’t see how my not doing it would have a negative impact on her.
I didn’t want to stand out at school or have anyone say anything about it. I’m aware of how bad that sounds since Anna doesn’t have a choice, but that’s really my only reason.
My aunt got angry and started yelling at me, saying I was selfish and didn’t care about Anna at all.
She wouldn’t let me explain and called me a jerk. She told me to go home, and that I wasn’t welcome back to her house. She said if I actually wanted to help Anna, I would do this one little thing for her and I clearly didn’t care about anyone but myself.
My parents thought what my aunt did was unfair, but I couldn’t blame her considering how much pressure she was under. I agree, but I don’t really care about her apologizing, I just want her to let me back into Anna’s life.
The ironic part is I secretly texted Anna and told her what happened, and she said that she didn’t care at all whether or not I shaved my head. I haven’t been able to see her since, despite asking my aunt many times to hear me out, and she’s still saying until I shave my head I’m not welcome. So, AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Being Mad At My Husband For Ditching Me?
“I (f28) am a wheelchair user. Have been in a wheelchair since 2019. I had learned to do most things on my own but transportation falls solely on my husband (m34), meaning he’s the one who takes me places say the mall or pharmacy.
Lately, he’s been leaving me at my MIL’s place and disappearing for hours. His mom’s really sweet and makes me feel comfortable but I just don’t like being away from home for a long time. He would say he’s late due to work or traffic, and sometimes he turns his phone off and be unavailable.
Sometimes he’d only respond when his mom calls.
A few days ago he told me he wanted to go to a friend’s engagement dinner party. I said I wanted to go with him but he said it’d be better if I stayed with his mom til he get back.
I said I’d rather stay home but he got mad at me and said he’d take me with him. He stopped by his mom’s house and dropped me there. I asked him why we were at his mom’s house and not his friend’s party.
He said he had an hour before the event and had to get some work done urgently and he’d come back for me and we’d go together to the party.
He left and I stayed inside with his mom. We talked and she brought me coffee and sweets.
An hour went by and I started calling him. He didn’t respond at first but then turned his phone off later. I felt so mad I kept calling despite knowing his phone was off. I asked his mom to try calling him and it was still turned off.
I waited 3 hours and I just knew he lied about taking me to the party. I called my sister to take me home but MIL insisted I stay with her because he told her to not let me go anywhere unless he return.
I ended up going home and my sister stayed with me for the night because he was still unreachable.
He returned the next day looking upset saying I shouldn’t have left his mom’s house and gone anywhere without waiting for him. I asked him where he was and he admitted to lying about taking me to the party saying it would’ve been boring and uncomfortable for me and thought I’d enjoy staying with his mom and looking at her new plants instead.
He then explained that he got wasted and had to sleep at a friend’s place and left his phone off. We had the biggest argument about it and I told him that what he did was unacceptable but he said I overreacted because it wasn’t like he ditched me at some public place and said that by leaving I hurt both his and his mom’s feelings. I said I won’t argue about this anymore but he said that I acted childishly throwing a fit over not attending some 3-hour event that he himself thought was trashy and classless.”
24. AITJ For Not Wanting To Make My Kids Give Up Their Space For My Partner's Kids' Stuff?
“My (29 f) partner (34 m) and I have been together for maybe 3 months. He ran into some housing difficulties so about a month after our relationship began I offered to let him move in with me. It would be beneficial to him and myself financially.
I live in a small 800 sqft home with myself and my two kids (11f, 4m). He also has two kids (9f, 7m) that he shares custody with their mom. Originally he lived two hours away and so instead of getting them for a week at a time, he gets them for 4 days (every other week).
I recently have been organizing our stuff and now each child in the home splits a closet and a dresser. They each have their bikes here and a few pairs of shoes but most of their stuff and toys are in storage due to the lack of space.
This has all been discussed and we will eventually have a little more room once financials line up to get the rooms in order (the kiddos share a bed).
I recently discussed ways to make my bedroom more functional. It’s super small and my bed takes up most of the room.
We landed on the idea that we can get a new closet system and ditch the dresser into storage. He said we could put it in the girls’ room and get rid of the desk and dresser that’s in there.
At this point, I disagree.
I’m not asking him to get rid of anything and my plan was to get bunk beds with drawers in the bottom for more storage. He was upset and voiced that he didn’t think it was right because his kids don’t have all of their stuff here.
I obviously disagreed and explained that his kids are here less than 50% of the time and even less than that when school starts. I also explained that I was in the process of organizing so they could have a few toys/other belongings here but I was not going to make my kids give up their entire space because this was our home to start and we are still new and his kids technically don’t live here full time so it needs to lean more towards the main occupants of the house.
He didn’t like that and was mad about it and it started an argument.
I was getting upset and I get intense when I am upset. Not mean or aggressive but my voice raises an octave and I visibly seem upset. He didn’t like my tone and quit talking to me about it.
I have been sleeping on the couch since because I don’t agree with his views. Besides my bed and my kids’ rooms, his stuff has taken over the rest of the house and I don’t want to feel like I’m being pushed out of the house.
Especially since I bought it last year by myself.
AITJ for keeping my stance and not budging on the situation?
Edit: He went from a 1500sq-foot home for just them three to a Sal 800sqft home with now 6 occupants only four living there full time.
Not sure what he was expecting.
Our kids generally get along. My youngest has no issue whatsoever. My oldest is hesitant but welcoming. Also, we have only been together for 3 months but have known each other longer – at a distance. He did live 2 hours away before this.”
23. AITJ For Telling My Partner She Was Being Condescending?
“Last weekend my (27) partner Sandra (27F) and I went to a party. The host, Jake, has been my friend since we were kids. Jake’s a smart dude and he got a full ride to an ivy league for college and grad school.
He mainly hangs out with those people now. I don’t mind because he’s really down to earth and his friends who are more casual acquaintances to us seem really nice.
Anyways, at the party, some of them were having a conversation about ancient literature and mythology and stuff.
Jake’s friend Martha was a classical expert and she had a Ph.D. and stuff and everyone else there had some graduate-level knowledge so what they said went way over my head. They were debating what was the best translation and stuff and literally translating Latin on the spot.
Sandra butted in and corrected Martha and said that Martha was totally wrong. I thought everyone was pretty open to my partner especially since we weren’t part of the original conversation but my partner said they were instantly cold to her.
Martha asked Sandra what she meant pretty nicely and Sandra repeated it again.
Martha asked her source and Sandra said it was a book she read. Someone asked her if it was X book and she said yeah. Someone else then asked Sandra if she had read the ancient stuff they were talking about and Sandra had to admit she hadn’t.
That’s when it went downhill. They basically said the book was basically a modern young adult novel meant for teens and they were discussing the ancient text. Sandra said that just because it was new doesn’t mean it’s not right and Martha was wrong.
Martha said it didn’t have the same value and Sandra said it did. Then someone else said that they’ll source Percy Jackson in their classical research paper. Everyone laughed and my partner pulled me away and we went home early.
She wanted me to never hang out with Jake or his friends again and I said that she deserved to be laughed at since she was being condescending when she didn’t know her stuff.
She’s giving me the silent treatment now. So AITJ?
Edit: Martha and the others are not close friends of mine, just Jake. We’ve never hung out 1 on 1 but we’re friendly in a group. The party had a good amount of people, and originally Sandra and I were hanging out with other people.
She wanted a snack so we went to the dining room and that’s where Martha and three or four others were having their debate at the table.
Honestly, I thought they were being pretty nice to her, letting her explain herself and then gently telling her that they weren’t talking about teen books especially Martha.
But Sandra thinks they were being rude and uppity and she kept talking about it the entire time we were driving back and at home. I got kind of pumped up and blurted it out at home so that’s why she’s giving me the silent treatment.”
22. AITJ For Making My Sister Pack Up And Leave My House?
“My sister and I grew up together but aren’t very close. It really wasn’t from any drama (we didn’t have a big fight to cause distance), but rather just having opposite personalities and interests. If I had to describe my attitude towards my sister it would be ‘apathetic love’.
Like, she’s my sister so I want her to be healthy and happy, but we just unfortunately don’t hang out, call to chat, etc.
She recently received an opportunity to interview for a job near our hometown and reached out to see if she could stay with me for a week.
My mother was ecstatic that my sister might be ‘coming home finally’. She moved across the county right after college and hasn’t been back in almost 10 years except for Christmas (she spends Thanksgiving with her in-laws) or the one-off birthday/business trip/vacation.
I was more than happy to open my home up, thinking that we could maybe bond or deepen our relationship. It was all kind of awkward but nothing horrible until the third night. I came home from drinks with my friends around 10 PM, went into my kitchen for a snack, and realized that almost ALL of my food was gone.
I’m not even exaggerating. I swear 90% of my pantry was just gone. I asked my sister and she told me that she was shocked I ate anything with preservatives and ‘unnatural’ and that I was ‘poisoning my body’ so she took it upon herself to throw away EVERYTHING she deemed unhealthy.
Guys, I’m talking about SO much food both packaged and unpackaged. Even things like spices that weren’t fresh were tossed! It was like someone had robbed my kitchen. I demanded that she pay to replace everything, but she dug her heels in and said that she was doing me a favor and that the way I ate was ‘disgusting’ (her literal words).
I know I’m biased, but my diet isn’t even crazy. It’s pretty much standard food you’d find at any grocery store.
I was so upset I made her pack up and leave, and she ended up having to take a cab about 30 minutes away to stay with my parents.
My mom is absolutely devastated that we’re fighting and insists that I apologize in order to keep the peace because she really hopes my sister will take the job and move back.
I told my mom that if she wanted to lose not one, but both daughters then she’d keep pushing me to apologize for something I feel I have a right to be upset about.
My dad says that she’s been crying every night though, and I love my mom so much I feel like a huge jerk for being stubborn about the situation.
Edit: I did invite my sister out to drink with me. She declined, saying that she didn’t like going to dive bars and wanted to stay sober because it was a work trip.
I respected that decision, but I had already planned to go out with my friends (it was a birthday).
I did the math, and she threw away close to a thousand dollars worth of food. Some items included: dried pasta, ground beef, pre-cut veggies in a container, juice, canned soups, rice, chicken broth, leftovers, and even bread (because it was white). This isn’t even close to the start of my list.”
21. AITJ For Not Sharing My Success With My Unsupportive Parents?
“When I was younger, my (27F) parents (late 50s) always told me that I was a great writer, but I absolutely should not pursue writing. They routinely discouraged me and even pulled me from writer’s workshops and creative writing clubs in high school and middle school.
Both my mom and dad (they’re divorced) basically never agreed on anything except that ‘you’d be destitute and a poor hobo living on the streets’ if I pursued writing. So I ended up getting the STEM degree they wanted and have a good job.
But I’ve been writing on the side for 5.5 years now, and I’ve made a name for myself in a specific niche. I don’t make a ton, but I’ve won a couple of awards and have had some small success in what has become my hobby.
I elected not to tell my family or really anyone about it besides my current partner (30M) of 3 years. Because well, screw them. But also, I write in the romance category. I guess I feel weird and uncomfortable about sharing that with them too.
Anyways, my partner, Jack, told them about it when we visited my mom and my aunt last month. And now, they have been sending me all kinds of messages about how I’m a bad daughter. And that I should have told them and shared my success.
They basically complained that I robbed them of the opportunity to share info with family and friends about my ‘success’.
I told Jack that we needed to spend some time apart because I felt like my boundaries were violated. He got upset, but he’s staying in a hotel at the moment.
I’m thinking about breaking up with him, which I’ve been told by my mom sounds crazy.
My mom also didn’t call me on my birthday this year (it was a few days ago) and instead sent me a text that said ‘If you don’t want to talk with us that’s fine, this is what that’d be like’. (The message was longer but that was the paraphrased summary).
Am I the jerk in this situation? I guess this is a pretty big thing to hide for more than half a decade.”
As far as Jack goes, I'd have a conversation with him about disclosing anything to your family without clearing it with you first, and give him another chance. If you did tell Jack not to disclose any information about you to your family, ditch him, as he clearly can't be trusted.
20. AITJ For Not Wanting My Partner To Apply Her Perfume In The Bedroom?
“My partner wakes up at 7 to get ready for work while I usually get up at 11. I am a light sleeper so whenever she gets up from the bed I’d wake up, and I have no difficulties going back to sleep afterward, also because of our conflicting work schedules, we rarely see each other during the weekdays so it’s actually nice to be able to talk every morning and wish each other a good day.
The issue is that before leaving she’d apply deodorant and perfume in the bedroom, the smell is so strong that it makes it impossible for me to go back to sleep, and by the time I reach the couch I’d already have lost sleep.
I asked her if she could apply them outside but she refused, she told me that it’s her morning routine to do it in the room and I will get used to it pretty quickly.
It’s been three months now and I definitely haven’t gotten used to it, not even a little.
I talked to her about it again yesterday and she pulled up an article saying that smell doesn’t affect sleep. I took a look at it and I told her that’s not what the article is saying. It said that while smell doesn’t usually wake up people from sleep it definitely affects it.
In my case, it makes it impossible for me to go to sleep.
I told her I don’t like it and that instead of reaching a compromise together she is pulling up articles to tell me I’m wrong.
I informed her that I will be sleeping on the couch during the weekdays.
She replied that I was doing this to punish her because I know how much she enjoys kissing me on the forehead every time she wakes up.
I told her that it had nothing to do with that. I just can’t function with 5 hours of sleep and reminded her that it also affected me at my job significantly.
She reluctantly agreed to apply them outside the bedroom but she was visibly upset.
I prepared a nice bubble bath for her with candles and made her dinner and this morning I took her to a restaurant she liked for brunch. We had a good time but I can clearly see that she’s still a little bit upset even though she’s trying to hide it. Was I really wrong to ask her to stop because I’m starting to feel like a jerk and I hate seeing her like this?”
19. AITJ For Forwarding My Coworker's Partner's Voice Messages To Him?
“I am friendly with an older guy at work, Dan. We have to travel for work sometimes. He’s more like a work friend than a real close friend.
But I got this voicemail, a call from a girl that sounded wasted and slurring her speech telling me that I oughta stay away from her man, Daniel.
At first, I thought it was a wrong number. I am a lesbian in a committed relationship and don’t have anything going on with any man at all. And I also didn’t connect the name Daniel to work Dan at all, we just aren’t close enough for him to come to mind.
A week later, I listened again and realized she did mean it for me and was talking about Dan from work. She’d said something indistinct about Seattle which is where Dan and I just had a work trip along with our manager Lisa.
So I saved the voicemail and sent it to Dan.
I’ll just quote the exchange…
Me: ‘Is this your girl?’
Dan: ‘That’s Irene, what’s going on? What is she calling you about?’
Me: ‘I have no clue how she even got this number, I only ever met her at the company Christmas party last year and we never talked since then…
You should talk to her, to be honest.’
Dan: ‘This was out of nowhere?’
Me: ‘Yeah, I literally thought it was a wrong number at first. Anyway, you really need to talk to her about whatever she’s feeling upset about, that’s something that needs to be worked out in a relationship…’
Dan: ‘Yeah, I’ll talk to her.’
Me: ‘Thanks.’
Anyway a few days later I got another voicemail from the same number and she sounded more sober.
She said that it was really ‘shady’ of me to send something regretful that she did while she was wasted to her partner and not even try to talk to her.
I feel like it was getting kinda inappropriate that my coworker’s girl was sending me these messages about stuff that seemed like conversations they need to privately have in their relationship.
This might be shady but I sent that voicemail to Dan too, saying ‘Hey man… I hate to say this but you seriously need to sort this out with your girl; I don’t know what she’s on about and I honestly want no part in this…
I’m getting the impression she’s reaching out to me because she has some issues with what you’re doing with work travel. If that’s something you’re doing and she’s not okay with, y’all seriously need to work it out between yourselves.’
He replied saying he was sorry, he hadn’t wanted her to call me at all let alone twice.
I blocked her number and I feel kinda bad about it because it seems like she’s feeling insecure about something. But I also feel like if she has a problem with something her partner is doing she needs to take that up with him, not me.
Like I didn’t say this but I really think that if you feel like you have to threaten other people to stay away from your partner, that relationship has run its course anyway. Why even be with someone you don’t trust to stay loyal without you forcing it?
AITJ for forwarding those voicemails?”
18. AITJ For Telling My Dad To Stop Being A Jerk To My Mom And Grandpa While They Were Grieving?
“A few weeks ago my (20F) maternal grandmother died. My parents are divorced. My dad had nothing to do with my mom’s family after the divorce. He still insisted on being there even though I told him not to. He’s remarried and has stepkids who are 11, 9, and 7.
His stepkids are all special needs and blended family life is super tough for them. They struggle with the concept that I’m not their mom’s daughter, and that I have another family. To them their family is mine and mine is theirs.
They used to cry a lot when I was a minor in their home because they wouldn’t want some random woman to take me (my mom) but then when it was explained again (because this was explained often to them) they would wonder why she wasn’t taking them with her too and they even called her mom sometimes.
So they all came to my grandmother’s funeral. During the service, a video tribute was played. They all became distressed and upset that they could see me with another family and all the good times that they were never part of.
It annoyed my dad. He started talking trash to my mom and grandpa about hurting his kids. I ended up pulling him away and telling him to stop being a jerk to them while they were grieving. He started venting about the kids being upset and I told him they never should have been there in the first place.
I told him I had explicitly said I did not want him there either. But that he had come anyway, and brought them knowing how much this upsets them.
I didn’t get to say much else because he went all ‘how dare you say that about your siblings’.
We argued a bit more. He laid into me over the whole thing and told me they had every right to be there and to be upset.
AITJ for this exchange?
Dad’s wife called to ask why I didn’t care about her kids’ feelings and said we should have been more sensitive toward special needs children.
I am guessing, knowing the kids for more than six years, witnessing this stuff before, and because I heard from both my dad and his wife a couple of times each, that the kids are still upset by the whole thing. So I get my dad being stressed. But I feel like that’s why he should have listened to me in the first place.”
17. AITJ For Returning My Dad's Credit Card?
“I (22F) have a credit card under my dad’s name. It’s my name but owned by my dad, if that makes sense. I use it in emergencies like medical bills and etc. I went to the doctor recently and got a $80 bill, but my current debit card was less and I didn’t have enough to afford for the rest of the month, so I used the credit card my dad gave me.
That was once in a few months since I used it.
My dad found out and confronted me. I said I didn’t have enough funds to cover the rest of the month and my job would pay me by the end of it so I can pay him back.
He wasn’t happy about my explanation but he accepted it.
Throughout 3 weeks, every time I get a parcel or a package that I ordered online (these things come slowly), he would say ‘Is this your emergency?’ laugh, and hand it to me.
I didn’t find it funny, but because I was working from home, I would take it and go back to work.
It gets to the point where he wouldn’t stop asking as it went from parcels and letters I receive to literally any food I make for myself or anything I buy for myself so I withdrew $80 as soon as I got paid and gave it to my dad.
I said I’d rather handle my own medical bills. I put the $80 cash and credit card in front of him. He said I was being a jerk and he was only joking. I said jokes are meant to be funny and he isn’t much of a comedian.
He took it and said he can’t say anything to me anymore or I’ll get offended. I don’t care. I’ll get my own credit. I think I’m the jerk for stopping this. My mom said she’ll help me cover the costs of my medical bills, but I said I’d rather pay for some of it. She said that he’s ‘like that’ but I don’t care about his stupid trashy attitude. I’m still angry about it. AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Not Giving The Basement To My Adult Son?
“I (42, divorced) have a son (19 M) and a daughter (15 F).
My son is more helpful when it comes to solving problems that include electricity or mechanical stuff – for example, repairing small things in the car or fixing a broken computer.
I love him but for the love of god, he cannot cook, clean, do laundry, and so on. He is currently enrolled in college, which I am paying for out of pocket.
My daughter on the other hand is great at all that stuff.
She often cooks for herself and us, cleans the house, and does laundry amongst many other things. She knows how to fix simple things around the house as well. She’s doing good in school overall.
We used to live in an apartment after my ex-husband and I separated.
A couple of months ago my mother died, so I was able to inherit a hefty amount along with a house from her. I decided to sell the house because I didn’t really have any connection with it since she had bought it after I moved out.
So there I was, with a big amount in the bank and a pretty good income work-from-home job. A couple months later I decided I wanted to move us somewhere less crowded, and preferably farther away from the busy city bustle.
I found the perfect townhouse in a tiny complex with a view of the lake. It’s situated on the opposite side of my son’s college from where we lived. The only downside is that the downstairs area of the house has its own kitchen, living room, and bathroom.
I told myself that I would just find a tenant to rent it out to, or maybe my cousin, who was looking for a place to stay at the time.
Anyways, we decided that my son and daughter would get two of the upstairs rooms which both have walk-in closets.
My son would also get the small den to use as a workshop/study room. We were satisfied with this arrangement.
A couple of days ago my cousin called and said she found somewhere else to stay, I then realized I don’t like the idea of a stranger living in my house.
I mentioned this information to my best friend and she suggested I give the basement area to my daughter. At first, I hated the idea because, well, she’s 15 and doesn’t need that much space, but after considering it I thought why not?
She obviously liked this idea, but when my son found out he was mad.
He started to yell at me saying that he’s the older one and deserves it more, that he will prove it. I told him that he wouldn’t even use the kitchen and he should’ve ‘proved himself’ when we lived in the apartment.
I would have to nag him for days before he even cleaned his room. I then told him that many of his friends have moved out of their own houses, yet he’s still living with me rent-free. He’s getting 2 rooms, his own bathroom, and a big walk-in closet, for free and should be more grateful as some people don’t even get a roof over their heads. He got very upset and went to his room.
So AITJ for giving the basement to my teen daughter instead of my technically adult son?”
15. AITJ For Wanting To Defend My Husband?
“I (33F) have always been the favorite in my family. I’ve been successful, I help my family & I’ve always been considered very beautiful. I get fussed over a lot in my family. My one aunt, in particular, has always liked to go on about how beautiful I am & how I could have my pick of men.
It’s never made me comfortable, but I’ve known she means well & she loves me like a daughter. It seemed harmless until I met my husband 2 years ago.
My husband (38M) is amazing. He’s the best person. He’s smart, funny, caring & kind.
He always goes out of his way to make me happy, helps my family, and cares for everyone. Honestly, I’m a bit in awe that I got so lucky. I think he’s the hottest man ever, but I suppose he wouldn’t be considered movie star conventionally pretty.
He’s extremely talented at his work – it isn’t high paying, but I’ve never cared about that.
The issue is, some family members like to make these ‘jokes’ that I find really rude. Like my uncle telling my husband ‘You’re a lucky guy, most guys couldn’t get a girl like that WITH a full head of hair!’ or my aunt saying ‘It’s good Elise has been so financially responsible & successful – that way it can balance out YOUR career.’ These are actual examples.
My husband says he’s not bothered & says it’s their way of looking out for me because they love me, but it gets under my skin.
It all blew up on Christmas. My whole family was at our house & we were mid-meal when my aunt decided to make a toast.
It started out nice, she was going on about the dinner & how I host them in our beautiful house & they are all so lucky to have me. Then she decided to end with my husband being luckiest of all since I am so ‘out of his league’ – cue the laughter.
I absolutely lost it. I told her it wasn’t funny, she needed to apologize, and if she or anyone insisted on continuing with these ‘jokes’, they could simply not come to our home anymore. My aunt rolled her eyes. She wouldn’t apologize – apparently ‘it’s just a joke’ – which is when I escorted her out.
The rest of the evening ended quickly.
My parents have been supportive, as have several of my cousins – but even they think I could have handled it with more grace. The rest of my family have been calling & saying I need to go mend fences.
I have flatly refused. My husband will stand behind me whatever I do but he’d rather I just be happy since he says he never takes them seriously. Right now, I can’t go an hour without a text or a call telling me I’m a spoiled brat because I kicked my aunt out on Christmas, knowing she had nowhere else to go.
I want to stand up for my husband & I want this ridiculous picking on him to end, but I’m starting to feel that maybe I was being overly cruel in the way I dealt with things. I don’t think I’m a jerk for saying something, but maybe I am for the way I did it & the timing?”
14. AITJ For Being Mad At My Sister-In-Law Who Was Trying To Defend Me?
“My sister-in-law, AKA my brother’s wife, likes to give her opinion without listening to the whole story like basically if she was to use Reddit, she’d read the title of a post and she’d give her opinion on that alone then insult everyone that replied to her comment then play the victim if no one took her side
Backstory – I gave birth on the 16th of January to my third and last child to make a long story, I went into labor while out shopping.
We finished what we had to do and then went home. A few hours later I told him to drop me off at the hospital so he could collect the kids from school then drop them off at my MIL’s house and get a few hours of sleep himself so he could take care of the baby when she was born.
If it’s not obvious by now my labors usually take 18 to 24 hours but 3 hours in I had some issues and had to get an emergency c-section. I didn’t have time to call him and per my request, he didn’t contact me so our daughter was 8 hours old when he knew.
It was one of those unfortunate things that neither of us could control nor do we care about.
I recently met up with my whole family so they could meet my daughter Rose and everyone asked me if it was true my husband was asleep when I gave birth to which I said yes.
They were laughing before I had a chance to explain. My SIL went into the sitting room and started screaming at my husband, calling him names.
She literally said he didn’t deserve to be a father!
I got mad and said ‘Yet again she strikes.
Did you ever think to hear the whole story out or do you like the attention of being that jerk who always has to be right?’
She told me she was only defending me and my husband was a piece of work.
I literally laughed in her face and said ‘Girl I don’t care. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. Things happen.’
She ended up leaving and refused to speak to anyone in my family due to the humiliation I put her through. My brother said I was causing trouble in his relationship and his wife felt too embarrassed to speak to anyone in our family, and that I should just apologize because I know how she is honestly. I don’t know if I feel guilty at this point but I feel like a jerk.”
13. AITJ For Having An Argument With My Partner's Friend About My Diet?
“Last Saturday, I (30m) was meeting my partner’s (25f) friends for the first time. Since I’m currently in the middle of an intense weightlifting program, I’m eating a crazy amount. My partner, being the champion she is, decided that we could go to a nice all-you-can-eat buffet in our city for lunch with her friends.
We met in front of the restaurant where she introduced me to her friends (two women and one man). About 30 minutes into lunch, the conversation turned to fitness/nutrition because someone had asked what I was interested in. Around that time I got my third full plate of ham, chicken, veggies, and a big bowl of macaroni because I could.
I mean, I grew up with serious food insecurity. If I’m going to spend $60 to eat at a buffet, I’m going to be the reason the buffet doesn’t cost $50 instead.
Around this time one of her friends, a nutritionist, told me I was eating way too much.
I honestly thought this crossed the line because who says something like that at a freaking buffet of all places? I responded by assuring her that I was lifting really hard and trying to gain weight. This apparently was interpreted as an open invitation to give me more unsolicited advice, so she continued that I was going to put on a lot of body fat and overstress my organs eating like that all the time, plus I couldn’t put muscle mass on that quickly anyway.
I let her rant run its course thinking it would be over soon, but she kept pushing the issue every time I said I was fine. This easily went on for five minutes while everyone else was talking about other stuff.
Eventually, I got tired of it, stood up, and pulled up my T-shirt to show my abs. I told her I had been eating like this for several months and if she could show me where I was getting metabolic syndrome.
She then continued debating about how I probably had a lot of visceral fat (32″ waist) and that she was only trying to help. Again, I told her I was fine and kept eating. Finally, the other people at the table remembered we existed and there was a lot of awkward silence.
Well, yesterday my partner approached me and said her friends don’t like me very much. We had already argued about this on Saturday after we all left, and I told her what I did was absolutely reasonable considering the circumstances. Now she’s giving me these cryptic messages about how much she values her friends and how she has known them longer than she has known me. I’m afraid I stepped over a line, but was I really wrong here?”
12. AITJ For Telling My Sister She's An Entitled Brat?
“So I recently moved to my home country for college and recently found out my 10-year-old sister did something that I’m pretty upset about. So my family had a party for me before I left and near the end, I noticed that my Nintendo Switch and its games were gone.
I found it in my sister’s room and packed it and went to sleep to get ready to go to the airport. The flight and everything else went fine and while I was unpacking my stuff I noticed I couldn’t find my Nintendo Switch or any of its games.
I was really confused as I distinctly remembered putting it in my suitcase. I called my Mom and she explained that my sister had taken the games and my Switch in the middle of the night and hid it so she could have it.
My mom didn’t know until it was too late and just grounded my sister from candy for a week. I am fuming. The Switch was given to me by a friend and all the games were either gifts or I paid for them and now my mom thinks it’s completely ok to let my sister take something that is mine.
When I told her this she said I was being melodramatic and territorial and to let my sister have it.
The next week my sister called me and was being a snotface about the whole thing saying stuff like ‘How does it feel to know you have to ask me to play games now?’ I told her that she is an entitled brat and told her ‘I’m not surprised you still don’t have a friend’.
My sister was shocked and hung up the phone. She has been having trouble making friends for a while now and told me I’m a jerk. I’ll admit I went too far but I don’t disagree with calling her out on doing that.
My sister has never done anything like this and my siblings and parents are telling me I’m a jerk and telling me to apologize and let her keep it. I’m conflicted and need to know if I’m wrong because I feel bad and need to know if I’m the entitled brat so AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Reporting My Professor For Making Me Feel Uncomfortable?
“I (f20) am a university student in my second year. We have this professor who’s everyone’s favorite. You know the kind of teacher who’s cool and funny and makes every class interesting.
He was my favorite teacher too. Well, at least till last week.
We had this assignment due that I needed an extension for as I had to leave for my hometown to attend a funeral (my mother’s sister). So the day I had to leave I went to see my professor to talk about the extension.
It was way early in the morning but I knew he would be in his office as he comes early to plan fun lectures for us (he had told us that multiple times).
So he was there and when I entered he asked me to sit down.
I started explaining my situation and while I was talking he came around his table and sat on the table itself facing me. I got a little uncomfortable because the door was closed and there was very little space between us.
I shifted a little farther. Then he suddenly leaned forward so I jumped out of my chair. I told him I was very uncomfortable with his behavior and would like him to go sit back in his chair.
He acted very shocked and said he was just listening intently.
I asked him again to move back to his chair but he got very angry and told me he will stay just there and that if I want an extension I can sit back down or just leave.
I left and reported him immediately.
While I know what I felt there, everyone else has been giving me a hard time and calling me a jerk for being too sensitive. I also heard someone say that I should dress better (I was wearing a sleeveless black top which I admit had a deep neckline) if I don’t want this to happen.
I am afraid that if he lost his job then all my classmates will hate me forever.
So AITJ here? Or should I just take my complaint back?”
10. AITJ For Not Wanting To Keep My Dad's Bird?
“My dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack last year and left no instructions on who should take care of his scarlet macaw Rainbow. She’s approximately 20 and he’s had her for nearly a decade. She was in a rehoming situation with his friend who gave her up.
I have no idea how to take care of a parrot nor am I in a stage of my life to take care of her. I live in a rented apartment and work all day and all the research I did online makes it seem they are a lot of work and require more space than I have.
I’ve asked my extended family to take her but no one wants her especially since she’s likely to live another 30-40 years. Rainbow has been living with my aunt since my landlord won’t let me take her even temporarily and isn’t happy with the arrangement and wants me to take her.
I also contacted the friend who originally had her but he wouldn’t take her either.
I told my aunt I was going to rehome her and she wasn’t having it saying since she was my dad’s pet, it was my responsibility to take her.
I made it clear I couldn’t and invited her to take her permanently but she doesn’t have the space or energy to take Rainbow either.
I called a bunch of bird rescues and one was willing to work with me to help locate someone to rehome her to.
It took a few months but we found someone with an African grey already who was willing to take her. I brought her over and she had an enclosure ready. The lady told me to come back and check on her so I felt secure in leaving her with her.
I said I would and hoped she would be happy there. One thing that did worry me was the lady was probably in her 40-50s and I hope she wouldn’t die suddenly and leave Rainbow to need rehoming again.
I hope I made the right choice but my aunt has been texting me to take Rainbow back saying I should keep her as a remembrance of my dad.”
9. AITJ For Setting Up Conditions If My Mother-In-Law And Sister-In-Law Want To See My Son Again?
“My ex-MIL has a nasty habit of bad-mouthing me to my son (12 years old) in recent years. It doesn’t bother me on a personal level, I’m used to it but what does bother me is that it puts my son in an uncomfortable position of having to agree with them under pressure or defend his mother.
I’ve told him that he doesn’t need to defend me and that it doesn’t bother me but the problem is that it bothers him.
Recently my son went over to my MIL’s house and my SIL was also there. My ex-SIL for some reason I’ll never understand decided to tell my son that we spent years using illegal substances together.
It’s well known that my SIL had a substance-usage problem and went to rehab for it but I’ve never so much as experimented with illegal stuff and I prefer to abstain from drinking as well due to addiction that runs in my family – another well-known fact in my family.
I know that experimenting with illegal stuff can be pretty common and I don’t judge others who have done it but it just isn’t for me. Never has been and never will be which is why I find this situation so puzzling.
My son came home from this visit and he was really upset with me because he thought I lied to him. I’ve always been open with him and he always knew I never did this kind of thing but hearing this story made him doubt me.
When I set the record straight he became VERY upset at his aunt for lying to him.
He doesn’t want to confront them and doesn’t want to go back there because it makes him feel uncomfortable. I sent an email to both MIL and SIL to tell them that if they wanted to see my son again they were going to have to make this right with him.
First, they need to be honest, second, they need to apologize, and third, they need to explore this and do some deep digging and figure out why they felt this was even appropriate in the first place.
Ever since it’s been radio silence but I’m being dragged by my ex-husband for this decision and being called irrational, emotional, and controlling.
I think I’m doing what’s best for my son but there is a history of gaslighting and I’ve spent the last twelve years constantly doubting myself and my decisions.
So I leave it to you. AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Not Letting My Daughter Play With Bigger Kids In The Splash Pad?
“My (25 f) husband (30 m) and I took our daughter (2) to the splash pad today. We were the only ones using it for a few minutes before another mom and her 3-year-old appeared. Our littles were happily playing for about 20-30 mins before a larger group of 10 or so kids from a kid’s birthday party showed up.
The youngest appeared to be around 8 and the oldest was probably 12-13.
Now, I have no issues with bigger kids using the splash pad. There’s nothing wrong with it. However, when a group of bigger kids all hyped up on sugar shows up, I know my 2-year-old can easily be overlooked and knocked down.
The mom of the 3-year-old obviously felt that way too because she ended up leaving. We stayed for a few more minutes to see how these bigger kids would play around my daughter.
She ended up being almost trampled and knocked over as I thought, so I went over and asked her if she wanted some juice and to go for a walk around the park.
Obviously, she was sad. She cried but seemed to be alright after I dried her off and put her shoes on. She loves walking the trails around the park.
However, some lady with the group of bigger kids said something along the lines of, ‘Let her play.
You don’t have to leave because of us!’
I smiled and said, ‘Thanks, but it’s okay. I was wanting to go for a walk.’ I’m heavily pregnant and needed the walk anyways.
She seemed to get annoyed. She kept saying ‘My kids are good with little kids.’ And ‘She still wants to play.’ And ‘You’re not showing her how to play with other kids.’
Finally, I said, ‘Your kids might be great with little ones, but she’s very small compared to everyone else.
She could easily get hurt. She plays with other kids just fine. We are going for a walk. Goodbye!’
My husband was giving my daughter a piggyback ride down the hill to the trail. She was literally paying no mind to the splash pad anymore.
As we were walking away, she was still complaining to the other parents/adults about how we were treating her kids. AITJ for removing my daughter from that situation?”
7. AITJ For Asking My Sister To Pay Me If She Wants Me To Babysit Her Kids?
“My (16F) sister (26F) and I have a very close relationship that I cherish. She moved out of the house when she was 19 because she was having her first kid, at some point later on she had two more. We fell out a little bit but we’re still very close.
By the time I was 14, I would take care of my sister’s kids every once and a while.
And by the time I was 15, she had her third child. I love my two nephews and my niece with my entire heart but sometimes they can be a lot to handle.
Her oldest will be 7 this August, her second oldest will be 4 next month, and her youngest turns 1 in December.
A few months ago I started taking care of them more often, having to cancel on people to take care of them.
There’s no problem because I understand that my sister is busy with her job and cleaning, but the problem started about two months ago when she began asking me to take care of them almost every other night to go out and party with her friends.
I said yes because I’m not the type to say no.
One day I brought up money to her and she just shrugged it off laughing saying ‘Well I took care of you when you were little and no one paid me, so this is you paying me back’.
I didn’t know what to say so I just laughed with her.
But recently I asked her if she could pay me for taking care of them for the past two weeks in a row and she refused once again and that’s when I got angry at her.
I began by stating that she lives in a wealthy community and she works at a job where she gets paid well, as well as her husband is a pediatrician meaning he gets a lot of money monthly, so a couple of hundred bucks every few weeks wouldn’t hurt their pockets.
She proceeded to get mad at me saying that I need to grow up and realize that not everything in life is about money.
I told her I understand this but that she was taking advantage of me and my time so that she could go out to party with her friends.
She said that was not fair because she was too busy in her teenage years taking care of a baby to go out and party. I told her that I don’t care and that no one told her to go and have a baby at the age of 19, that I will not be taking care of her kids anymore, and that she can find a babysitter.
I stormed out of her house leaving her in the middle of getting ready to go out, and drove home. She called later that night asking me to come back. I simply said no and hung up.
It’s been a couple of weeks since our argument and my mom and other sister have told me to apologize for what I said because I hurt her and that I should suck it up, saying she will come around eventually and pay me, I kept refusing saying that I have a life too and she wasn’t taking that into consideration.
My sister and I haven’t spoken in the past couple of weeks and everyone is telling me I should apologize and I’m starting to feel bad about it so, AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Telling My Sister-In-Law She Shouldn't Have Invited Her Nephew To Her Wedding?
“I (27F) have known my SIL for three years. She’s the type of person that always needs to be right and needs to be in charge of everything. She’s very demanding as well.
My SIL’s family members are very disrespectful and rude.
They don’t clean up after themselves, expect everyone to act like maids or servants around them and they think very highly of themselves. They can never be wrong and think they can do no wrong.
Because of this, my SIL’s family doesn’t really punish their kids.
Like they have no consequences. They aren’t even like the gentle parenting type either.
My SIL’s sister has a son and he’s extremely chaotic. He throws tantrums if he doesn’t get something and he has to be the center of attention 24/7.
When there are birthdays he needs a gift or opens the gifts and needs to blow out candles. It’s frustrating which is why I’m not usually around at family gatherings and other stuff.
I was with my SIL since her friend canceled on her and I was helping make invitations.
I saw one of the names was SIL’s nephew. I asked if she wanted him to go and she said yeah. She then asked why. So I told her why.
I talked about his tantrums and how he’ll probably throw a fit during the reception and other stuff.
She got mad and said that she didn’t know what I was talking about. She told my family and her sister which caused her sister to write me a message saying how I was wrong and other stuff like that.
Well, the day of the wedding comes.
Everyone comes in happy except Nephew. He’s crying and is about to throw a fit. When my SIL came out he literally started screaming. The poor Pastor had to stop and wait for the parents to leave.
During the after-party, he was back and again crying.
When they were cutting the cake he screamed extremely loud and pushed my SIL who was holding a glass of wine and spilled on her. She started crying.
She turned around to leave and I looked at her and said ‘I told you so’. She started crying even more.
When I got home my mom called me extremely immature and wants me to apologize. So, AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Asking A Teacher Why She's Not Reprimanding My Classmate For Playing Loud Music?
“In my school, we’re allowed to listen to music from our headphones, with the exception of tests and exams, and if you don’t distract others and pay attention to what the teacher is saying. My classmate Chris (fabricated name) tends to listen to music from his earphones.
He doesn’t pay much attention in class and his music is usually so loud that people on the other side of the room have clearly heard his music.
For a while now, I have noticed that barely any teachers actually call him out for it as any other student would’ve gotten one heck of a negative remark by now.
I even asked him about it and he said that he was surprised too at first but now he’s confident that the teachers won’t call him out. This kinda annoyed me since I have gotten remarks for ‘sitting on my phone’ many times although I almost always am just checking the clock.
So yesterday, I decided to test if my English teacher would do anything if I listen to music just like Chris. Mostly because I know that she has zero tolerance for non-work related things in class.
About halfway through the class, I glance towards Chris who is sitting three seats in front of me.
As usual, he is listening to Eminem, both buds in his ears and the volume so loud that I can clearly hear the lyrics. I pulled out my earbuds, put only one bud in my ear, set the volume to a couple of clicks below maximum, and hit play on ‘Panama’ by Van Halen.
The song was through the first couple of notes when the teacher started yelling at me for listening to music. Meanwhile, Chris didn’t even flinch but kept slightly bobbing his head to the beat.
I apologized to the teacher for my action, paused for a second, and then asked why Chris is allowed to listen to music while everyone else isn’t.
She ignored my question and told me to be silent or she’ll be forced to remove me from class. I apologized again but persisted with my question, she then told me to leave class. I couldn’t be bothered to deal with it anymore so I packed my things and left class.
As it was my last class of the day, I just went home and didn’t think much of it.
Fast forward to today, I get to school and some folk who were in the class when the argument happened walked up to me and start talking about how I acted like a jerk towards Chris and the teacher.
Apparently, most of the class thinks that way. Chris doesn’t even care, it’s just everyone else, including the teachers that do. Even my class head teacher came to talk to me about it. Fortunately, he is a good person and listened to my side of the story as well.
He said that in the teachers’ room, some teachers had discussed the argument and came to the conclusion that I was in the wrong. I asked him what side he is on and he just said that he has none.
Some think I’m a bully targeting an innocent student while some have no opinions at all. However, nobody seems to be fully on my side. Am I the jerk?”
4. AITJ For Not Believing That My Ex's Son Is Mine?
“I (23 Male) just recently got back in contact with my ex (22 Female) Laura (fake name). We broke up three years ago after I walked in on her and my friend (24 male) Mark (fake name). She contacted me through social media from a new account since I blocked her on her main.
She told me that when we broke up she found out she was pregnant and it was already too late to terminate the pregnancy. She then said that she’s struggling (financially) to take care of ‘my’ 2-year-old son and needs me to send her funds.
I told her that we could meet somewhere to talk about this and that I’ll need a paternity test to see if the child is mine and she sent me a photo of him and told me that there was no need for a test when he already looks like me.
She even said that he has my eye color which is stupid cause we both have brown eyes and so does my friend.
I told her once again that we could meet somewhere and that I would need a paternity test before I would send her any money.
She told me that I should stop holding onto the past and that the child’s mine cause we slept together before I caught her with my friend and I told her that if she doesn’t want a paternity test then I’m most likely not his father and she should bother Mark instead of me.
She got angry and began cursing and calling me names so I logged out and plan to log back in tomorrow to see if she’s calmed down and agreed to a paternity test but I feel bad because of the way I handled the situation so I have to ask, AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Only Being Angry At My Wife?
“My mom is married to Rick – not even going to call him my stepdad. He does not like me, does not speak to me, and I recently learned doesn’t actually know which of my kids is which. That being said we can hang out and be civil.
He just will not talk to me.
Recently we went to a beach with Rick, my mom, and my aunt and uncle. The setup kind of sucked because the sand area was very narrow, so we had to walk pretty far to get a spot.
Since we have kids we had a lot of stuff and had to go back to the car. I told my wife to stay with the kids and I’d get it even if I had to make two trips.
At this point, I don’t know where my aunt was.
My mom took her dog for a little walk, and my uncle was also making a trip back to get some stuff for my one-year-old cousin. So Rick was the only person sitting. My wife asked Rick if he would keep an eye on the kids while she went to the car.
He said no. She told him he was being childish and it would only be a minute.
I did see her in the parking lot, but she told me Rick was watching the kids. When we returned my aunt yelled at me that we are irresponsible and stupid and that she had to go in the water and get my kids.
My wife asked Rick what was going on and he said he told her no, and called us both idiots. He said the kids were fine and he wouldn’t have let them drown (I agree with my aunt that they shouldn’t have been out there).
My wife yelled at Rick, and my aunt began to berate us (she was mad because she didn’t have a good spot to put her baby). At this point, my mom came down and asked what was going on. My wife began to yell at my mom that she never should have married Rick, and this is her fault for bringing him into the family.
I snapped at my wife and told her she always treats my mom like crap for the most minor things, but she was irresponsible and owed our kids, Rick, and my aunt an apology. I said she put out kids in danger, so how am I supposed to trust her again, and said she needed to use her head.
She began to cry and said I was being mean. She asked if I was going to yell at my aunt for being a jerk or yell at my mom for marrying Rick and I said no. Now she is angry with me, and saying she doesn’t want to be around my mom anymore for marrying Rick. For reference, our kids are all under 5 and two can’t swim.”
2. AITJ For Saying My Female Coworker Was Wearing Men's Sunglasses?
“I (M26) was put in a new position in the company that requires me to go out with other co-workers to meet up with clients on locations. We have this co-worker (Nancy) who’s the newest member of the team. She kind of keeps to herself and doesn’t talk much besides work stuff.
Yesterday, we were out working and Nancy arrived 10 minutes later, she said her son was sick and that’s why she was late. She didn’t want to eat on lunch break and she didn’t bring anything so we invited her and offered some snacks.
One thing I noticed was that she had her sunglasses on the entire time. Yes, we were outside but she never took them off. I looked at the sunglasses and it dawned on me that they were a brand made for men.
I didn’t know if she knew and whether she intended on wearing them, so I casually pointed it out to her and told her that she was wearing men’s sunglasses, she looked at me and asked so what. I said I figured maybe she didn’t notice but it was obvious to everyone else that she was wearing men’s sunglasses this entire time.
My co-workers started laughing and Nancy suddenly got up from her seat and excused herself.
My female co-worker side-eyed me and then said that Nancy was obviously concerned for her sick kid and there was no reason for me to be fixated on her sunglasses and humiliating her in front of everyone.
I said I was just letting her know but she said that really it was none of my concern and I overstepped. I told her I casually just brought it up without any bad intentions but I was told I needed to apologize to Nancy later which I didn’t because I don’t think I said something out of line or overstepped I was just talking about the sunglasses since I have knowledge of these brands.
Besides that, if I didn’t point this out to her, someone else would’ve. My male co-workers thought that Nancy was being too sensitive and I was good and didn’t need to apologize but they could be biased since they always side with me in all of my arguments so I’m leaving this to you folks.”
1. AITJ For Not Wanting My In-Laws To See My Newborn Yet?
“My husband (33M) and I (32F) just welcomed our second child 2 months ago. We also have a 3-year-old daughter. This pregnancy was a lot more difficult for me than my first. I had complications and had to take early maternity leave from work because my doctor recommended bed rest.
Thankfully, everything with the delivery went fine and our son is healthy and happy.
In order to help while I was on bed rest, my mom came to stay with us. She came when I was about 8 months pregnant, right when I went on bed rest.
She also stayed after the birth and just recently moved back home a week or so ago. It was so helpful having her here and I am forever grateful for it. However, my husband could not have been happier to see her leave.
He expressed to me numerous times that he feels my mom is overbearing and that she inserts herself into every situation under the guise of ‘helping.’ He says he felt marginalized in both his roles as husband and father the entire time she was here.
I will admit that my mom can be very protective and almost over-caring, if that makes sense. She has a strong motherly instinct and I can kind of see how it would rub my husband the wrong way. I was not in a position to fight either one of them on anything, so I told my husband he was just going to have to deal with it and that it was short-term.
He was so happy to see her leave I’m surprised he didn’t throw himself a little party.
Now that my mom is gone, he wants his parents to come visit. They live far enough away that they would have to fly here.
I told my husband that I am not ready for visitors and that now that I am more recovered, I want to spend time with just my family and bond.
Instead of being supportive of my needs, he took offense and pretty much threw it in my face that I was ok with my mom being here for 3 months and now I won’t even let his family meet their grandchild.
He accused me of having double standards and even asked if I hate his parents, which I absolutely do not. I just want some time with my nuclear family before having anyone else come to visit.
My husband argued that his parents would be getting a hotel anyway so it’s not like they would be staying with us.
He just wants them to meet his new son. I told him that I am not forbidding his family from ever meeting our son, but that now is not a good time. He asked when a good time would be and I told him that I will tell him when I’m ready for them to come.
He told me that he’s tired of living his life based completely on my timelines and needs. He said that at some point, what he wants should at least matter a little bit instead of me constantly dictating the terms of our life.
I told him that when he experiences a difficult pregnancy and birth, then he can dictate things, but until then, my needs matter more than his wants.
He’s now barely speaking to me. He will do things I ask and help with whatever I need, but it’s like he’s on autopilot and sulking because he can’t get what he wants.”
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