People Rely On Us To Tell The Truth About Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

There will come a time when people will judge you negatively, even your friends or family, just because of something you mistakenly (or purposely) did in the past. Your behaviors may seem perfectly normal to you, but to others, they may appear rude and out of character. These people below are unsure of whether they fall under the jerk category, and they're now asking for our help by telling them what we think about them. As you hear their stories, let us know who you believe to be the true jerk. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

34. AITJ For Hating My Family For Giving My Books Away?

“My parents never got married and I spent my childhood at both my dad’s and mom’s place. My dad married my stepmom when I was 5 and we had a great relationship till she died when I was 16.

My stepmom used to read a lot and she left me a few of her books. She wrote comments on the side and I loved reading them.

I kept them at home when I went to college because I didn’t want to lose them and I kept them at the bottom rung of the shelf and specifically told everyone in the house not to touch them or use them.

I came home for summer break and I found a few of them gone.

I asked my mom what happened and she told me that my stepdad had given them to a friend to read.

I kept asking for them to be returned and it has been two months and they have still not been found. They meant a lot to me, my dad is a workaholic and my step-siblings live across the country and don’t even talk to me.

Those books were one of the few tangible connections to my stepmom and they gave them away like it was theirs.

My mom was asking me about plans for the summer and I told her that I will be moving in with my best friend and we had paid the lease for a house.

Mom was very upset with me and asked me why I had planned this without talking to her. I said I was an adult and summer was months away. My mom kept on calling me to come back and I kinda snapped that I didn’t trust them anymore after they gave away my books and I would visit them to get my books but I really hated how they brushed it off like it was nothing.

My mom snapped that I should have told her before signing the lease and I was being childish about a mistake. My stepdad called me and said he will find the books and ask his friend if any of them had it again.

I told them that I would still not come back if they did find it. My stepdad should give them the benefit of the doubt.

I know this is a big conflict as I graduate next year from college and this will probably be the last summer I spent with my parents but I don’t want to go back.

I spent half my Christmas break crying they are still my parents and I love them, I feel like I am punishing them but I don’t want to go back home.”

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bejo 11 months ago
They knew the books were important to you and violated your trust. If you had taken your mom's jewelry and given it to a friend, you would be guilty of theft. How is this different?
Regardless of the books, you are now an adult and moving out on your own us your right.
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33. AITJ For Refusing To Pay For Other People's Water Bills?

“I (35f) own a small restaurant in an outdoor strip mall(?) and make good money.

I’m not rich but I make enough so I can support my mother and my daughter and live comfortably. I’ve been noticing that the water bill is very high, it’s been $3000-4000 per month, when I and my ex-husband were together he kept shrugging it off but now that he’s gone business has been slow and we haven’t been making much money so I finally decided to confront the landlord.

When I did he said that’s normal for a restaurant and so on. I was skeptical but I was so busy I didn’t have time to care.

A few weeks later my daughter asked to buy an iPad for school.

I looked at the price and it was too expensive so I said no, she kept asking why and pointed out how much we make in a day. When I told her how expensive the bills are and how much our water bill was she was shocked and didn’t believe me at first, when I showed her the letters she immediately told me to call the landlord, and so I did.

That night I called and he told me the same thing. I asked the people next to us if they paid the water bills and they said they didn’t. I then asked almost everyone in our little strip mall if they paid their water bill and they said no, mind you, there are multiple restaurants and a gym with a huge pool in our strip.

When I confronted the landlord and threatened to sue he finally stopped making us pay for everybody’s water.

Now the main issue here is that now a lot of people are mad at me because I refused to pay their water bills and they had to pay it themselves.

One person said I was a major jerk and that I should’ve kept paying everyone’s water bill. So AITJ?”

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rbleah 11 months ago
NO NO NO Soooo not the jerk. And I would talk to an attorney to get back the majority of the money you paid on water from the landlord. Can we say LAWSUIT? And you might want to find another home for your place.
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32. AITJ For Expecting An Apology From My Parents To My Half-Brother?

“I have an older half-brother Rory (we share the same dad). I live with my mum and stepdad. Rory comes to see me regularly and we usually go out together. I’m 15, Rory is 24 and I have two step-sisters (11 and 9).

A few months ago some valuable items were stolen from our house. Some jewelry, my stepdad’s expensive watches, and some cash. They immediately accused Rory of doing it and banned me from seeing him or talking to him.

I defended Rory and I was grounded as a result. The accusation was false because that day Rory picked me up outside and never came in but they didn’t believe me and accused me of lying to protect him.

The police had no reason to believe it was my brother and they didn’t even consider him a suspect.

About two weeks ago the thief was found out as he did the same thing at a relative’s house and they had security cameras and eventually confessed to stealing from us as well.

It obviously was not Rory. It was my stepdad’s nephew who had somehow copied his key without him noticing and used it to break in when nobody was home.

I’m angry about all of this and I asked them to apologize to both me and Rory for their false accusations which my mum said she’s happy to do but my stepdad said no and told me I just have to learn to move on.

Later that day I reminded him to be extra careful about his keys when he visits his relatives to be sure nobody steals them and he wouldn’t end up accusing people I love for no reason.

This morning he was looking for his sunglasses and couldn’t find them and I suggested that maybe I should help him find them before he goes to accuse someone innocent of stealing it. He looked at me and told me to stop being rude.

My mum talked to me and told me that I should stop being a jerk about it and apologize for not letting us move on from the unfortunate incident. I don’t see why I should not advise caution when my family will be the scapegoat if things go wrong.

AITJ for expecting an apology and not moving on until I get it?”

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Chickenfried 11 months ago
Your step dad is an jerk. Any chance you can live with bio dad??
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31. AITJ For Refusing To Give Up My Stuff?

“Many moons ago, when I was pregnant with my first child, I sought out and put together a collection of vintage baby clothes in neutral colors. It was mostly an issue of finances (I couldn’t afford to shop at Target or consider anything other than breastfeeding and reusable diapers) but also a preference for a less cluttered setup.

I also wanted items that could last multiple children so I looked for certain materials and neutral colors. Think cotton gowns for hot weather and soft wool sweaters for cold weather – and everything in between.

I didn’t spend a fortune then but there is a certain aesthetic today in baby wardrobes, that would make a cart of similar items on Etsy an insane total.

At the time, I also had friends who were very into their crafts so I ended up with gifts of a handmade cradle, some knitted stuff, a custom sling carrier, a nice linen bassinet and crib sheets, wool-lined slippers, and even a pair of handmade leather baby shoes.

My first husband and I really appreciated the love of the gifts and the materials used. I took very good care of them and they mostly lasted through all of my children through two marriages.

Last week, my husband told me that his kid sister is expecting and, well, expecting that I hand over all of my baby items. She’s already bragged to her friends about the collection and how all she needs to do is launder some of it.

I refused and cited my reasons as not being asked and saving them for any future grandchildren who may need the collection. My husband’s family is livid and says the items are heirloom quality which means they’re supposed to be handed down but I know my SIL.

If the materials and colors weren’t in style these days, she would absolutely be demanding the most expensive designer stuff she could find. So, AITJ for refusing to give up my stuff?”

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Chickenfried 11 months ago
NTJ. They were gifts given to you and I'm going to assume 1st husband. 2nd husband has absolutely no way in what happens to these gifts. Save them for your grandkids. Also, hide them under lock and key so they don't accidentally walk away on their own. That means from hubby as well!!
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30. AITJ For Keeping My Cancer A Secret?

“A year and a half ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I was fortunate it was caught early. I had one round of chemotherapy and surgery, which luckily for me removed the tumor/cancer completely.

Obviously, I am still being monitored by my doctors but as of right now, I am cancer-free. I didn’t tell my parents and sister about my cancer until just now when I was home for a visit.

I live in another province, 4000 km away from where I grew up.

The reason I didn’t tell my parents is because three years ago my sister was caught faking cancer for the last year and a half.

She shaved her head, pulled out her eyebrows and eyelashes, and ate less to lose weight. She used pictures of inside hospitals she found online and sometimes photoshopped herself in them, or pretended it was her arm or hand the IV was in.

She ended up getting charged in court because people donated funds that she said was for a service that gives cancer patients rides to and from their treatments but actually wasn’t since she didn’t have cancer.

She told the court she was envious of the attention I got after I almost died in a car accident. I did get into a car accident six months before her ‘diagnosis’ but I didn’t almost die.

My arm was broken. The other driver was wasted but not hurt. I never lost consciousness and was released from the ER as soon as the cast was put on and not even admitted. It happened on a Friday morning and I was back to work on Monday, although I was riding a desk until my arm healed.

At the time I had already lived away from there for 10 years and I didn’t talk to anyone there except my parents and sister. I didn’t get any attention or visits from anyone there. I called to tell them about it, but they weren’t there when it happened. My sister lied about the severity of the accident and I got pulled into the mess by the court because the crown prosecutor looked into her claim and that was also a lie.

Despite the proof of her lie and knowing the real story of my car accident, they told the court and everyone she was innocent of everything. They re-mortgaged their house to pay for a legal team and testified in court she didn’t do anything wrong.

I don’t know if they believe her or are blind or what but to this day they profess her innocence and that she never lied about anything.

I don’t talk to my sister unless I’m back visiting and I don’t go back much.

But after her antics when I had a minor car accident and her lies especially about cancer I just didn’t want to open that can of worms. She lives with them now. Like the car accident, the cancer experience wasn’t fun but it wasn’t as serious as it could have been and I wasn’t close to death.

It came out by accident and my parents are upset I didn’t tell them. I tried to explain why even though I generally don’t bring up my sister but they are still upset and say I shouldn’t have lied. I just didn’t want to deal with everything.

If I was actually dying I would have told them.”

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rusty 11 months ago
You are not the jerk because your heart was in the right place, but your sister needs serious help, help that I don't see her getting because of you parents' enabling her. If you parents are going to mortgage their future to protect this girl, it is probably best to stay low/no contact with the family and only give them info on an "as needed" basis. Judging by the sound of it, it seems to me that sis would just use any info given to draw attention to herself in some way.
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29. AITJ For Telling People I Adopted A Cat To Stop The Ex-Owner From Getting Another Animal?

“I (28M) recently agreed to foster a cat who I was told had massive behavior issues and was going to be taken to an animal shelter if I didn’t agree. I expected spitting, hissing, biting, not litterbox trained, etc. The cat arrived with nothing to her name.

The cat is 5 years old. No box, bowls, toys, or food, nothing but a flea collar that was clearly months old and too tight.

The cat was absolutely filthy, ex-owner told me they couldn’t provide money at the time for me to set the cat up.

I allowed it as I’d been told they were in a nasty financial position. We agreed to keep a tab on vet bills/food bills to be paid. As they are leaving, she mentions the case of white claws she stopped to pick up on the way.

I was gobsmacked.

I set about getting what the cat needed and began to try to gauge its behavior. Turns out this animal is the sweetest, smartest, kindest being I’ve ever had the pleasure to know.

Took the cat to the vet, and the cat is incredibly ill and underweight due to neglect.

Got her medical shampoo for her skin, and antibiotics for the massive infection she has, and then called her ex-owner and told her to send me her microchip details as I would be keeping the cat.

She says that’s fine, the cat was never chipped anyway. Doesn’t pay anything bar $40 of the bills. 2 days later turns up at her job with her hair and nails done.

I sat on it for 6 weeks and stewed and stewed until I found out she had been speaking to someone about a kitten.

I didn’t embellish anything, I simply told 2 of my closest friends what happened and why the cat stayed with me.

The truth spread like wildfire, and most people have now turned their back on her.

My only intent was to stop her from getting another animal, not for it to end up like this. I feel like I could be a jerk because this has affected her work and friendships.

So, AITJ?”

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Turtlelover60 11 months ago
She should never be a pet parent, if your kitty was in poor health she should be charged with animal neglect and have to pay for the vet bills
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28. AITJ For Not Wanting My Mom To Come With Us To Doctor's Appointments Anymore?

“Today was my son’s (15-month-old) doctor’s appointment. This is the 2nd appointment my mom has ever been to.

The night before the appointment I compiled a list of questions for the doctor just in case I forgot any.

I also made a point of telling my mom that she can be there but I have questions and need to make sure I ask the doctor.

I also asked her not to talk too much so I could do that. (My mom used to take over my doctor’s appointments or conversations to the point where I can’t get 2 words in.)

She agreed since I was the mom and we went to the appointment. When the nurse came in she didn’t say anything unless it was conversation. Which I was perfectly fine with.

But when the doctor came in and asked who was mom I obviously said me.

Then my mom had to chime in and say ‘I’m grandma. But I’m the one who takes care of ‘Jimmy’ the most.’ The doctor gave me a look as I shot my mom a look.

  1. My mom knows I hate the nickname ‘Jimmy’ due to some past issues.
  2. My mom only takes care of my son for about 3.5 hours out of the day after she picks up my son from daycare while I’m at work.

Apparently, my mom thought that since I didn’t address her statement she thought that was her cue to then list the ‘multiple serious issues’ that my son has.

The ‘serious issues’ were he won’t eat solids for my mom, and his ‘constant teething crying’.

My son eats multiple solids with no issues. And obviously, all babies cry when teething. But because every time I would try to talk my mom would interrupt. I couldn’t explain it to the doctor.

The doctor gave my son a referral to go to a feeding specialist.

It felt like my mom was acting as the primary caregiver to my son.

When it came time to schedule my son’s next appointment I purposefully made it during a time when my mom couldn’t be there.

Once we got home my mom demanded to know why I’m refusing to let her be a part of these special appointments with her grandbaby.

That’s when I explained she promised to let me ask my questions, but I could barely get 2 words in because she would interrupt when I did.

So I decided if she couldn’t be considerate of my wishes she wouldn’t be allowed to come to the appointments. She called me a selfish jerk and I’m being inconsiderate of her feelings.

At first, I felt like this was a good decision. But now I’m feeling guilty for not letting her come.


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rbleah 11 months ago
If Gramma can't keep her mouth shut she does NOT NEED TO BE THERE. YOU ARE THAT CHILDS MOTHER, PERIOD. NOT THE JERK.
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27. AITJ For Pointing Out That My Sister-In-Law's Daughter's Name Isn't Irish?

“I’m Irish. My husband is American. We live in the US currently but met back in Ireland. His sister has always been obsessed with my accent, my name, and the fact that her brother married a real Irish person.

She and her husband had a baby very recently, a little girl. My sister-in-law excitedly told me ages ago that she was giving her daughter an Irish name and she couldn’t wait for me to hear it.

Around that same time her husband asked me if the name was actually Irish (he told me what it was) and I said no. I also pointed out that the Irish middle name they did use was the American spelling and not one used back home.

I didn’t say anything to her because she never asked and I wasn’t supposed to know the name.

Apparently, they argued over the name a lot and he tried to convince her to stop saying it was Irish.

Her daughter was born and she announced the name to us and the rest of their family. She had the name printed on a banner so the spelling of the middle was clear too. She talked about wanting an Irish name for her because of me.

Her husband told her to stop saying it was Irish. She was so mad at him for claiming it wasn’t and I jumped in. I said the first name was Scottish, not Irish, and that the middle name is not the Irish spelling or anything close to it.

She went crazy and told me the name was Irish, that Irish and Scottish had the same stuff. I told her there was some overlap sure but we still had our own distinct names and the one she had chosen was clearly Scottish.

Then she told me she chose the least dumb spelling for the middle.

She is so mad that I pointed this out to her. She’s mad at her husband for disagreeing with her in the first place.

Drama has ensued and everybody is hearing about how trashy I am for trying to convince her that her daughter’s Irish name isn’t, in fact, Irish.


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Bruinsgirl143 11 months ago
Ntj she's an entitled bray
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26. AITJ For Telling My Niece The Truth About Her Real Dad?

“My sister (38) had an affair with a married man and got pregnant with my niece. I (36) knew he was the father because my sister had an affair with my best friend’s dad. The affair came to everyone’s attention because the wife caught them.

My sister was then sent to live with my grandparents and it was discovered she was pregnant and she said my best friend’s neighbor was the father. By that time my best friend’s family had moved away.

My sister then meet her now husband who knew my niece wasn’t biologically his but wanted to raise her as his own.

All her life my niece (18) was never told the truth and when she started questioning why she had different hair color and skin tone compared to her parents and siblings it was always covered up.

She took after our grandmother or they would use me as an example as I did indeed look like my grandmother. It used to annoy me when they would lie to her like that, but at the time I understood their reasoning as she was only a kid back then.

Anyway, a month ago my niece celebrated her 18th, and then the following morning rang me up crying and asking if I could come to pick her up. I picked her up thinking she broke up with her significant other or something like that but found out it was because she overheard her parents arguing downstairs about how much was spent on her birthday and it got so bad that my sister was crying and saying she’s not even your real daughter so you have no say in the matter.

My niece came down the stairs in shock and asked what they were talking about. They went quiet and said it was nothing but it was too late! My niece then rang me.

While I was driving us back to my home she asked is it true?

Is that why I look so different from everyone? My heart broke listening to her cry her heart out. I said maybe you want to speak to your parents about this first? She said you’re like a second mother to me, so please tell me is it true?

Do you know anything? I had to tell her the truth! She cried some more and I felt so bad! She asked why didn’t I tell her and I admitted that everyone was told not to say anything and she cried, we both did.

She stayed with me for a few days as she came to terms with it.

Then in the middle of the week, my phone blew up with texts and phone calls with my sister telling me how could I do that and tell my niece and that I’m going to destroy her family because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and that I had no right!

She went and told our family and I’ve been getting crap from my family on social media, telling me I had no right and that it wasn’t my place and I’m a piece of work.

My niece asked if she could move in with me and I said that’s okay and that’s made the situation even worse. My niece is standing beside me but now even my parents are threatening to cut me off and I don’t know what to do?!

But AITJ?”

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MzPen 11 months ago
Your whole family jerks if they thought they'd keep this from her forever. Should have told her well before 18.
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25. AITJ For Not Wanting To Work For A Cruel Parent Anymore?

“I (19M) had a job taking care of two kids (2M, 3F), a dog, and doing light housework 4 days a week for a single mom who got my contact info from a business card I had posted in my dad’s pediatric therapy office.

Ever since the weather started getting warmer, the dog has been shedding like crazy. Like, I would vacuum the couch, and the next day it would look like I hadn’t, I would lightly tug on the dog’s hair and would pull out huge tufts, the dog’s been scratching all the time, etc. My dad’s dog has a double coat like theirs, and one morning when I was leaving for work I packed his brushing tool in my bag.

When the kids were napping, I spent a full hour outside brushing the dog.

The dog seemed to enjoy being brushed, and after an hour there was a huge pile of hair that had been brushed out.

Before I vacuumed it up, I sent the mom what I thought would be a funny text saying, ‘Brushed a whole new dog out of (Dog)’s coat!’

Looking back, I realize that maybe I should have asked first, but at the time it seemed like something that was within the scope of caring for the dog.

The mom went ballistic. She called me yelling, saying that by brushing the dog and not letting the hair fall out on its own I was causing harm to the dog. She said I was an idiot and she can’t believe she trusted me with her kids, and that today was my last day.

I was extremely upset because I had been with the family for 3 months and she had never yelled at me like that before. I left as soon as she got home because she was still fuming.

I immediately lined up a job with another family and am supposed to start Monday.

The mom who yelled at me called me two days later saying that she was sorry about the ‘misunderstanding’ and that firing me was an overreaction.

I told her I was no longer available and she started crying about how hard it was to find a new sitter for ‘special needs’ kids (her kids are autistic and have therapy at my dad’s office).

When I stood firm, she started texting my dad and asking him to do something. My dad is annoyed at being dragged into this, and while he respects my decision he wishes I would keep watching her kids for a short time to ‘keep the peace’.

I hate that I put anyone in an awkward position, but I also don’t want to work for someone like that. AITJ?”

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rbleah 11 months ago
Tell her sorry too late, you already have another commitment lined up. And maybe next time she wants to fly off the handle at HER EMPLOYEE she rethinks that action beforehand. Also tell her DO NOT INVOLVE YOUR FATHER ANY FURTHER because your Dad IS NOT INVOLVED in this, PERIOD.
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24. AITJ For Being Defensive About My Medications?

“I have ADHD, I got diagnosed with it in college.

I took Vyvanse without a problem up until I got pregnant. After I was done breastfeeding I tried to go back on it but it was giving me severe nausea and insomnia. My doctor gave me Ritalin for a short while until we can find a better long-acting medicine.

I accidentally took the wrong dose of it for like 2 weeks before I realized. Honestly, I wasn’t trying to overconsume it, I just don’t read directions, unfortunately. It made me jittery and irritable.

During those 2 weeks, we ended up spending a lot of time with my in-laws because we needed them to watch our son so we could pick up overtime at work.

The Ritalin is working better but I find it doesn’t work very well at controlling my symptoms so I’m now I’m trying something else.

My symptoms are probably worse than they’ve ever been.

Anyways, we go over to dinner at my in-laws on Sunday night. We finish dinner and my in-laws tell us they want to talk to me about something.

They tell me they’ve noticed a couple of changes over the past few weeks and they’re concerned and they’re staging an intervention. I explain to them it’s my ADHD and I’m trying to find a new medication that works for me and while I appreciate the concern I am okay.

My in-laws tell me it’s basically illegal substances I’m taking and that there are a couple of books I could read about motivation.

I just got up, thanked them for dinner, got our son, and went to the car.

I really don’t want to hear that, I struggled a lot with my diagnosis when I first got it.

My husband thinks they were wrong for the last comment they made but I didn’t have to just walk away because it’s going to cause conflict.

We really can’t afford child care all the time and depend on them quite a bit so we can both work. I honestly didn’t mean it in a rude way, I just didn’t feel like I owed them any more explanation.


My husband did tell me that after I left that he told his mom that it’s an actual serious condition and that I was off my meds for almost 3 years and my job performance at work seriously fell and I had to get some accommodations until I get back on medication.

I honestly think we were both pretty shocked when it happened and my husband did say he wasn’t sure what to say at first.

In regards to child care, we never liked leaving our son with his grandparents but child care in our area is almost 1600 a week.

In the fall he can start going to church daycare (which is free) so we’re just trying to make it until then. He did not know about the intervention and was as shocked as I was which is why I spoke up first. I promise he would defend me if I wasn’t able to defend myself.

He doesn’t talk about our personal issues or my personal issues with his parents. He really didn’t do anything wrong here.”

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jojow 11 months ago
NTJ they are not illegal substances when you have a prescription and a diagnosed condition
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23. AITJ For Kicking My Former Mother-In-Law Out?

“I married my late husband ‘Benji’ in 2008 and we had a daughter together (now 12).

In 2020, when she was 9, he, unfortunately, passed away.

I remarried in 2021 and to be honest I’m much happier. My marriage with Benji was actually very rocky, though of course his extended family and my daughter do not know this.

We are of course still in touch with Benji’s family, particularly my former mother-in-law (FMIL).

FMIL attended my wedding and professed to be happy but she’s always been a bit concerned about preserving her son’s memory, for example, she made an impromptu speech at my wedding saying that this was what Benji would have wanted for me and my daughter.

Benji was an only child and my daughter is her only grandchild so I do understand. She’s not really a bad person just grieving, in my opinion.

After Benji’s death, she wanted to share more of Benji with my daughter and my daughter was happy to hear stories and see photos.

I found it helpful for her to have that anchor and encouraged it. I myself was not that close to FMIL even in Benji’s lifetime so we only spoke sporadically.

But the further I’ve gotten into this relationship, the more strained things have become.

Months ago, I invited FMIL to stay with us for a few days. But in hindsight, her relationship with my daughter was already shifting and it shifted much more in the interim. My daughter is definitely pulling away.

I think it’s a combination of settling in here, feeling increasingly distant from her old life, growing closer to her stepdad, and just becoming a teenager. I also think it’s more about her evolving relationship with her father/grief than about FMIL herself.

Maybe she’s also picked up on how much happier I am but I sort of hope not.

But FMIL came to visit as planned. It’s not gone well. She made a few subtle comments indicating she thinks I’m alienating my daughter from her biological paternal family.

To be fair, I did move her across the country and I do encourage her relationship with her new stepdad, but I’m also not trying to erase her dad.

On the second day, my daughter said something to her grandmother like ‘My parents said I could…’ She was using it more as a shorthand but FMIL snapped ‘He’s not your parent’ and my daughter was embarrassed. I took her aside and called her out on thinking I was alienating my daughter and reminded her she was my daughter and also she was making her own choices.

My FMIL said my daughter was ‘playing right into my hands’ and then suggested that my SO’s closeness with my daughter was somehow suspicious. I flipped out and told her to leave my house.

She stomped out and I just know she was telling the rest of Benji’s extended family how terrible and cruel I am. My daughter seemed ambivalent but my husband thinks I was overly harsh and should have understood that she was grieving.

I feel like it’s very hard for me to be unbiased and I must admit that part of my reason for being upset at my FMIL is because I want her to be happy here and have a good relationship with her stepdad.

I mourned Benji too don’t get me wrong, but feel very differently about him than how my daughter feels. If it wasn’t for her I’d make very little effort to keep his memory alive or be in touch with his family at all.”

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rbleah 11 months ago
HOW jerk LONG are you going to allow HER GRIEF to call the shots IN YOUR HOME? If I were you I would have a good heart to heart with your daughter and ask her what SHE WANTS. But if EX MIL keeps her mouth flappin about this it will only cause problems with you and YOUR FAMILY. CHOICES, CHOICES.
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22. AITJ For Wanting To Get Paid For My Crocheted Blankets?

“I learned how to crochet in 2020, and have been consistently making projects and learning new techniques since then. I wouldn’t call myself an expert, there are certainly many people who are way more talented than me, but I can definitely make some nice-looking things.

My favorite things to make are blankets.

A cousin of mine had a baby a few weeks ago and we’ve all been super excited about her. I was particularly excited since this was the first baby in the family since I learned how to crochet, so I made her a blanket, hat, and booties.

I’m close with this cousin, and even though I’m not technically the baby’s aunt, she’s been calling me ‘Auntie’ to her daughter and introduced me as such.

Yesterday we had a family gathering where I met the baby for the first time and I brought her gift as well as three other baby-sized blankets I had made as tests for patterns or just because I had the yarn laying around.

I told my cousin that if she wanted any of those in addition to the ones I made, she was welcome to take them. I hadn’t made them specifically for the baby (again, they were basically testers) but they’d still work fine.

She ended up taking one of the extra blankets, leaving two with me.

Another cousin mentioned that she was going to a baby shower next week and she wanted to take one of the blankets to gift to her friend.

I said that was fine, but I’d like $20 to at least cover the cost of yarn if she was going to do that (which is actually lowballing, the yarn cost around $28 total). She got frustrated and said I was going to give all of them to my other cousin for free and I wasn’t getting any use out of them anyway, so I might as well let her have just one gift. I said I was happy to give them away for free when I thought they were going to my ‘niece,’ but I don’t know this friend, I especially don’t know the baby, and I don’t want to essentially subsidize a gift for someone I’ve never met.

The family is a bit torn on this one, some people agree that it’s a completely different thing to expect that I’d give a free blanket to a stranger, while others agree that since I wasn’t doing anything with the blankets anyway, it’s petty of me to demand she at least reimburses the yarn.

I figured why not go to a neutral third party to ask if I’m being a petty jerk here?”

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deco 11 months ago
NTJ. She just wants a free gift to take to her friend’s baby shower. I would charge materials and labor…especially since I have a feeling she will claim she made blanket. Just my gut reaction.
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21. AITJ For Not Trusting My Sister To Come Over Anymore?

“I (19f) live at home with both parents and my 3-month-old daughter. My sister (28f), Maria, lives in the same neighborhood with her husband and 6 kids, the youngest being the same age as my daughter and the oldest being 7.

I’ll be honest, my sister and her husband are broke, and always ‘borrowing’ from me, or my parents, and that includes baby items. Her husband dropped out of school and works at a local grocery shop and she doesn’t work in order to be a stay-at-home mom.

She is also trying to get tiktok famous but she’s got about 30 followers.

My significant other, Tom, works at the same shop as Maria’s husband, and we’ve agreed that it works best for him to be the sole provider until I’m done college, and then he’ll start college and I’ll become the provider for a few years.

We’re also currently low income but we only have one additional mouth to feed, who happens to be lactose intolerant.

Like I said, my sister loves borrowing things. Yesterday she called me while we were out and asked if I had any spare formula, and I said I had some that my baby cannot tolerate, but only one can of it that I could offer her, because also only have one can of lactose-free.

She told me that her husband’s next paycheck will be pretty much gone because they’re in a couple of thousand credit card debt.

She came over today to get the can I could offer her and without me looking, grabbed the other can.

I noticed an hour after she left and I told her that she grabbed the wrong can and she said she did it on purpose because her baby likes it better, I told her she needed to bring it back within the hour and she said no. I told her it was the only one I can use until payday and she said I can use the other stuff, which will make my kid sick.

I told my parents immediately, and they asked me what I want to do. I told them I want my baby to be fed and I don’t want Maria around until I can trust her again.

They agreed with me, and I asked them to tell her.

Maria and her husband immediately blew up my phone and my parents’ phone. They think I manipulated them into agreeing with me, and that they favor my child over their 6 other grandchildren.

This is not true though. AITJ?”

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Bruinsgirl143 11 months ago
Ntj call th police and change your locks
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20. AITJ For Bringing Up That My Sister Stole $500 From Me?

“A couple of years ago in the fall when I (18f) and my sister (20f) were 16 and 18 years old, I lived at home and my sister lived in a dorm at a college nearby.

I worked at Walmart while my sister worked at GameStop making less than me.

Because I was an associate, I had the Walmart app to search for items and to use Walmart Pay. To use Walmart Pay, you have to scan the QR code on the screen and it will charge the card you have chosen for your items. You can have multiple cards on there.

I gave my sister and mom my login info so they could use it for my discount. They were to use THEIR cards to pay for THEIR items.

At one point, I noticed I was losing funds in my bank account faster than usual. I had thought nothing of it because I love spending a lot on things I really shouldn’t.

But I did have memories of my sister always making me pay when we go out for coffee or shopping, and because she would basically beg me, I would. Her taking advantage of me would go on.

One day while I was at work at self-checkout, my sister came in. She was buying wooden hangers and some other items. I noticed that she was using my card on Walmart Pay to pay for them.

I asked her to use her own card very nicely because I was still on the clock. She then proceeded to tell me no, so I continued to protest. She did it anyway and left.

I came home after my shift and honestly forgot it happened. A few nights later, however, I was talking with my mom about my bank account problem. I look into the account and see a bunch of charges for Walmart.

I go into the app to find the amount of one charge and found the receipt from the hangers. I then find many more charges that I did not authorize on my card. I added up the amount of every charge, and it was over $500!

My mom was not as concerned about the problem as I was, but she said she would talk with my sister.

After my mom talked with my sister, she said that my sister was very sorry and started crying during the confrontation.

She didn’t seem very happy with me, as if it was my fault she was crying. I’m pretty sure she told me not to talk about it. She also said that all of our funds are shared, which is super unfair because of the hours I work and the stuff I put up with there.

It makes sense that my mom’s money is shared, but not mine.

I was never paid back. My sister was an adult and stole from me and nothing happened. To this day my mom and sister get mad at me for bringing it up.

When I ask my sister to spot me for something because I ran out of funds (even though she stopped spending it) and she says no, I say she owes me, and suddenly I’m a horrible person.

When I bring this incident up to my mom when talking about how my sister takes advantage of people, I ‘need to let it go.’ They keep telling me that it’s in the past too.

AITJ? My friends that know about it still tell me that it was messed up too.”

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SineadM 11 months ago
NtJ. You need to take legal action because you clearly can't trust anyone in your family. They gas lit and manipulated the jerk out of you. Time to MAKE them pay you back in the courts. 500 is a lot to steal
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19. AITJ For Taking In A Cat Lost In A Storm?

“I (21f) technically stole a cat. A few weeks ago, there was a heavy rainstorm on my way to my neighborhood. It was already raining and pretty windy when I came home. When I arrived, I saw a small cat hiding under my porch chairs, I initially was just going to leave him there.

The storm was getting pretty bad, the little cat was really struggling to not fly away from my porch. I felt bad and let him in, until after the storm.

I took really good care of this cat while he was in my home, he had a bath because he was dirty, ate salmon (I had no cat food), and slept peacefully on my dog’s second bed. He was really having a good time at my house.

It was about 5 days after I let him in when I saw a missing poster of this cat. I of course contacted his owners immediately and explained the entire situation. They asked me to bring their cat immediately and didn’t sound very happy.

They lived about 8 houses down from my home, so I brought the cat the moment I hung up the phone.

I pretty much got scolded by a middle-aged couple, basically telling me I’m a thief for taking their cat, telling me I should’ve just left him on my porch, so he could find his way home.

They further argued that I should’ve taken him to a shelter or done something but keep him in my home for 5 days. I told them that I thought he was a stray because he didn’t have a collar.

They then said that that didn’t matter. I should’ve let the cat find his way home or gone to the shelter to check for a chip. I felt really bad and apologized.

I didn’t mean to steal their cat.

I was trying to help him. All I know is that I would be very happy if someone took care of my dog if she were to ever be in that situation. I’m not sure if that’s the same for cat owners since cats can take care of themselves and can apparently find their way home easily.

So AITJ for stealing a cat for 5 days and not actively searching for its owners?”

4 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918, LilacDark, LilVicky and 1 more

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CG1 11 months ago
Screw Them !
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18. AITJ For Telling My Daughter To Stop Helping Our Neighbor?

“My partner and I bought a house in a small town 5 years ago, the same time our next-door neighbor, ‘Mrs. Lewis,’ a widow who doesn’t work, bought her house.

All of us are from out of state. My family, although non-traditional, shares a healthy, happy, and loving relationship.

While I like to think that my partner and I (doctor and nurse) contribute to the community by helping to provide an underserved area with much-needed healthcare, Mrs. Lewis made it clear from the start that she does not approve of our family, even though we have always been cordial toward her.

Mrs. Lewis also befriended my then 10-year-old, giving her hand-written letters about what a lovely child she was who deserved so much better. When I gently confronted Mrs. Lewis about this, she responded with wide-eyed innocence that she didn’t mean any harm by it and that she felt hurt by our misunderstanding of her neighborly gesture.

We cautioned our child to be polite, but not get too friendly with Mrs. Lewis.

While my partner and I are extremely busy with our work, Mrs. Lewis has volunteered and worked her way up in the local church and in every town committee.

And, she LOVES to gossip. For instance, an innocent response such as, ‘Mom’s feeling down today because she lost another patient’ gets translated around town into, ‘That woman is so incompetent that her patients are all dropping like flies.’ We get cold stares and snarky comments from the desk people at the Town Hall and library, who all now are her besties, so we try to keep our trips there to a minimum.

Therefore we have silently dealt with Mrs. Lewis’ other behaviors, such as letting her dog get into our garbage and poop all over our lawn – again, she apologizes and promises to do better, but nothing ever changes.

One time, as my partner and daughter were having a rather heated discussion about sewing buttons on a new coat, I looked out the second-floor window to see Mrs. Lewis outside of the house, trying to peep into the windows.

She looked up and saw me, so ran back to her own house. I could go on, but back to my original question.

Our now 15-year-old teen is truly a great kid, a straight-A student, self-confident, and deeply caring about everyone around her.

Mrs. Lewis recently took advantage of this by making an agreement with my daughter to mow her lawn. When my daughter approaches her for payment, Mrs. Lewis always says ‘I’ll bring it by later,’ and uses this as an excuse to take a peep through the doorway when my daughter answers the door.

So, I told my daughter to stop mowing Mrs. Lewis’ lawn. My daughter protested, stating that poor Mrs. Lewis was unable to mow her own lawn and that I was overstepping my bounds. My partner says to just continue to ignore Mrs. Lewis’ antics, but it seems to me that ignoring her actions only gives her silent permission to keep behaving the way that she does.

I have put my foot down, to the annoyance of both my partner and daughter. Still, I wonder, AITJ?”

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rbleah 11 months ago
In a public place, loudly ask that witch WHY HAVE YOU NOT PAID MY DAUGHTER FOR THE WORK SHE DID FOR YOU? Since YOU were the one to ask her to do the work. Make sure there are MANY PEOPLE around. Public humiliation and proof that she has been telling tales the whole time.
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17. AITJ For Doing A Police-Themed Photoshoot?

“I (21f) just got out of a 4-year relationship with my high school sweetheart (21m). We were so in love that I changed my college plans to go to the same school as him (at his request).

We’ve been living together in the same apartment for most of our time at school and planned on staying in it until we graduate next spring.

About three weeks ago he decided he was done and it broke my heart.

I was, and am, devastated and my whole world feels like it’s upside down. Even though it hurt, the breakup conversation was amicable. I cried and asked why. He said he didn’t love me anymore and that he was going to move out when he could get some friends to help him.

Then he went and slept on the couch for the rest of the week. At first, I thought he was being classy about things.

Until it was time for him to move out. He said he’d be moving his things out during the day on Friday while I was in class, but when I got home everything was still there.

He showed up at about 7 pm (right as all our neighbors were getting ready to go out for the evening), with his buddies and two cop cars that sat in the parking lot right outside our apartment with their lights on the whole time he gathered his stuff.

I was mortified. Our relationship was not violent or dramatic or anything and he’s got 50 lbs and 5 inches on me…

I still don’t know why he wanted the police there while he took his stuff out of the apartment, but I spent the week after having to answer questions about it from everyone we know (word traveled fast).

The next weekend, my best friend showed up unannounced with a bottle of wine and two Party City cop costumes to try and cheer me up. We took all sorts of goofy pictures of her handcuffing me and both of us trying to look stern.

It was the first time I smiled since the breakup and I decided to post some of the funnier ones. I didn’t expect him to see it since he blocked and unfollowed all my socials after the breakup.

I woke up the next morning to texts from him and a bunch of his buddies saying how terrible I am and that I should be ashamed for making fun of him. I’m honestly just trying to move on with my life and heal with humor, but maybe I was petty for posting the pics.

EDIT: Our relationship has never been violent. He has never mistreated me and I’ve never hurt him. It wasn’t perfect (clearly), but I’m not a yeller or a thrower or anything like that. When I get upset I cry and leave the room.

When he gets upset he uses kind of a sharp voice, but not loud.

The break-up wasn’t out of nowhere, but I still didn’t expect it. We’d both been busy with work and school and things felt distant for a little while before it happened. I thought it was just normal life stress until he sat me down to talk.

He didn’t start by saying he doesn’t love me anymore. That was the end of a couple of hours of conversation. Looking back it kind of felt like that movie trope where somebody drives a dog out into the woods and drives away… honestly the break-up conversation wasn’t my finest hour.

The things he cited as issues in the relationship were things like me not paying enough attention to him and not keeping the apartment nicer and those are fixable things so I said I’d work on them and was trying to get him not to end things.

When he said he didn’t love me anymore I shut down because what can you say to that?

I don’t think he was friends with the police who showed up. He’s got a few cousins who are cops, but they don’t live near where we went to school.

A friend of a friend told me he called the police because of my dad. My dad is a big guy, but non-confrontational and lives on the other side of the state… and my ex knows both of those things.

My socials are all friends only, but I didn’t realize how many mutuals we had until I started getting texts about the pics. I’ve blocked all the people I think could’ve sent things to him and I haven’t responded to the texts.

I just want to put my head down, get my degree and move somewhere far far away from all of this…”

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rusty 11 months ago (Edited)
Good for you!! You are not the jerk at all!! Keep your head held high and keep moving forward. He knows he screwed up by bringing the police into this, was he that much of a baby that he needed backup? He did all that for maximum effect and it backfired on him when you posted the "party pictures"! You were mature enough to move forward and he clearly is not. Even though it hurt at first, you are much better off without him in your life. Please do not fall for it when he inevitably comes back crying that he wants another chance! Keep up the good work and good luck with your degree!!
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16. AITJ For Canceling The Dinner Party Because My Friend's Date Is Vegan?

“So my (28f) husband (30m) and I are throwing a housewarming dinner party.

We invited some couples and singles. One friend asked to bring a date which I initially said yes to. He then told me she is vegan and asked I accommodate her.

I have a severe tree nut/some legume allergy.

There are no nut products in my home ever. As background, I had a vegan roommate in college and ended up in the hospital due to cross-contamination. My roommate was careful but just traces in the kitchen nearly killed me.

I moved out because many of the foods she needed for protein we found out I was allergic to and I’m still not 100% certain of what all those are. I’ve had multiple doctors tell me that if I ever decide to be vegan or vegetarian I’d need to work with a dietician and allergist. I don’t introduce any new legumes in my diet and avoid nuts.

I told my friend I wasn’t sure I could accommodate a vegan. I did look into some options, but most had some form of allergen or potential allergen. I could make a salad but a proper main course would be very difficult since most meat/protein substitutes contain legumes or nuts.

I then told my friend I’d like to meet this person but asked if we could do it another time since cooking for them would be very hard. He said his date offered to bring something for herself but honestly, I’m not comfortable with allergens even entering my home.

It makes me very anxious just thinking about it.

My friend is very angry at me now and telling people I’m discriminating against Hindus (apparently his date is Hindu – I heard that from a mutual friend after all this started).

I’ve had a number of nasty phone calls and texts from friends. I’ve tried explaining but now I just feel like a jerk. My husband ended up canceling the dinner party and sent out emails to our guests explaining why and defending me.

But it hasn’t helped. Some friends are on my side and say it’s a medical issue, but these are the same couple of friends that stopped wearing nut butter lotions around me when I ended up hospitalized years ago so I feel like there’s some bias maybe.

EDIT: This friend (and also another friend coming) have celiac disease so pasta is not an option. Gluten-free pasta options contain my allergens. The options suggested by my friend and I’m assuming his date all had my allergens or ingredients I’m not sure about (I’ve been tested many times for different allergens but tests don’t always work so I’m not always sure – for example, according to allergy testing I can eat pine nuts but they make me violently ill and cause full body hives so if I’m unsure I treat it as an allergen).”

3 points - Liked by LilacDark, LizzieTX and lebe

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rbleah 11 months ago
Ask them DO YOU WANT ME TO END UP IN THE HOSPITAL? From something that CAN KILL ME? Ball is in their court. If they stay angry then they ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS.
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15. AITJ For Saying I Don't Care About "Motherly Love"?

“My new neighbors moved in a few days ago and met my dad on their first day when he was doing yard work, but not my papá (they saw him, however), who doesn’t like small talk.

We live in a Canadian neighborhood so my parents aren’t necessarily afraid of being open about their relationship, they were just busy with my baby brother. Another issue is my papá doesn’t like drawing any attention, especially not on the first few days of meeting someone.

On Saturday, my parents wanted to properly meet our neighbors after having ‘ignored’ them since even though they were pushy, they still seemed like nice people but maybe a bit naive. They were thrilled to meet us but got quiet when my dad called papá his husband.

They didn’t say anything bad but it was clear they weren’t expecting that.

After chatting about children, my baby brother was hungry so my parents went back inside. My siblings and I decided to stay outside.

One of my neighbors stayed with us and told us a bit about the baby they’re expecting (she’s 8? months pregnant). She talked about how amazing motherhood is and out of nowhere, asked me how I live with having no mother figure in my life.

She didn’t ask my siblings this question because they have a mother (my papá’s ex-wife) who they see 3 times a week. She tried to give my sister ‘girl advice’ and told her she needs a very active female figure in her life because 2 fathers cannot support her the way a woman can.

She went on a rant about how everyone needs a balance of maternal and paternal love to properly develop identities and feel loved. She kept holding her baby bump the entire time.

My sister went back inside and my brother was getting his bike out.

It was just my neighbor and me. This time, she told me I should resonate with an older, motherly woman because I need that and can’t do it with 2 fathers. I got mad and told her, ‘Actually, I’m very happy not having a mom.’ I already feel disconnected enough from my family as I’m the only adopted child and her words made me feel like I could never form a connection with them.

My neighbor held her baby bump, again. She said I wouldn’t understand ‘motherly love’ and I told her I don’t care about it. We were ‘arguing’ quietly next to my backyard fence so no one heard.

After a while, she changed the subject and smiled before leaving.

My sister told our parents about the encounter between us and our neighbor. My papá said she was being an entitled, shallow-minded person, reminding him of his ex, and that we should ignore her as much as possible.

My dad sighed but didn’t add anything.

I decided to tell my older friend through text about this. He said my response was unethical as I was ‘minimizing’ the role of mothers and shouldn’t have said it to my neighbor because she was starting her ‘experience of motherhood’ and I was erasing the sacrifices of a mother.”

3 points - Liked by LilacDark, LilVicky and lebe

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rbleah 11 months ago
The neighbor is a homophobic trash heap. DON'T TALK TO HER AGAIN. She is trying to sow seeds of distrust in you against your parents. Every time she tries to open her mouth to you tell her to mind her own business. Then TELL YOUR PARENTS. Your friend is WRONG. You are not erasing anything.
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14. AITJ For Changing My Wedding Venue For My Paraplegic Daughter?

“5 months ago, my (33f) daughter Olive (14) was hit by an irresponsible driver resulting in paralysis.

By this time, my fiancee (35f) (who has a great relationship with my daughter) and I were already engaged and had put a deposit down for a beautiful castle wedding venue, my fiancée’s dream venue, but, the place the ceremony would be held is up 3 flights of stairs, and it has no lift. Obviously not suitable for a paraplegic.

Olive was unsure whether she’d even want to come to the wedding or not and so told us not to change the wedding venue yet. So we planned everything as if it was at the castle, but we made sure to only buy things that would work on a flat wedding venue.

We were both more than happy with changing the venue, and we’re eyeing a really nice one. So, Olive said to me that she did in fact want to come to the wedding as she felt confident enough in her chair now.

I looked online to see the availability of the venue, and there was only one date available this year, and it’s a week after when the original wedding would have been. So, I booked it, knowing my fiancée would be ok as we had already discussed it.

But when she got home and I told her, she blew up, saying she no longer wanted it there and the things we had bought wouldn’t fit (nonsense, we had chosen it all carefully, and we last conversed about it last week).

I told her it was done now, the payment was made, and that Olive would have been incredibly sad if she missed her mum’s wedding, she views my fiancée as her mum too.

She wouldn’t have it, saying I ruined her childhood dream and Olive could watch the wedding on Zoom. I told her no way on Earth. She has been through months of misery. I’m not keeping her from coming to a day I know means so much to her.

We’ve recently had the green light from Olive’s doctor that she can come, and she has been ecstatic and has been focusing more on her physio.

My fiancée, not so much. She has been less enthusiastic since the venue change and is just annoyed any time someone brings up the wedding.

It’s been a few weeks since and the wedding’s coming closer, and she’s still not as excited as she was, I’ve tried to speak to her and apologize but she says everything is fine, she’s an awful liar.

So, AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918, LizzieTX and lebe

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rusty 11 months ago
Time to rethink the wedding or cancel it altogether. Your SO was so invested in the "Cinderella's Castle" wedding that she is not seeing any other possibility, much less how this affects your daughter. That is not a good look. Your SO throwing a toddler tantrum over all this and acting like it is your daughter's "fault" (really?) is telling you who she really is and you had better listen. If you don't, there will be resentment on your SO's part that you cannot even imagine, and both of your lives will be a living he!!. Best advice? Tap the brakes on the wedding, rethink it, and see if SO comes back down to earth. If not, there are more fish in the sea, fish that will prioritize BOTH of you. Your daughter should absolutely come first.
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13. AITJ For Telling My Dad And Stepdad That They're Pressuring My Brother?

“I (16f) have a twin brother (Cody). I do cheer and Cody does sports. We do these activities because we enjoy them but Cody also puts in a lot of effort because he’s constantly seeking approval from our dad AND stepdad.

The two don’t care for each other but are somehow the best of friends when it comes to Cody’s sports. He does like 5 different ones because our dad likes hockey and lacrosse while our stepdad prefers football and basketball – they both enjoy baseball.

If he ever dares to quit a single one, one of them will throw a riot or accuse him of playing favorites. It’s so dumb. Sometimes Cody’s schedules clash or get so overwhelming to the point where he’ll lay on his bedroom floor for hours and dissociate.

It’s been like this since he was like 10.

My mom and stepmom think it’s just men being men and that boys enjoy sports so Cody probably doesn’t care but like there’s a limit to everything right?

We were having a celebratory lunch for our older sister before she leaves for college and both sides were there. The lunch ended at 2 pm and our sister asked if we wanted to go to the mall.

I said yes and Cody was CLEARLY going to say yes but our dad said he had baseball practice.

Cody tried asking if he could sit out one day since he hasn’t missed a single practice of anything in his life but our stepdad joined our dad‘s ‘practice makes perfect’ speech and backed out.

They then tried using ME as an example.

‘Oh, Ashley’s never missed a day of practice, and look at her! Medals and trophies for days!’

I thought this was ridiculous. I’ve missed plenty of practices and Cody has more awards than me.

I asked them if they were being serious and told them what I just mentioned. My dad kept telling me to be quiet but I called him and my stepdad losers that need to realize that Cody is a human being with limits, not a doll they can program or play with.

Both of them were very embarrassed. My dad told me that I was being very disrespectful. My mom joined in and said I was reading too much into the whole thing and that they’re men and I simply won’t get their dynamics.

I call it nonsense but they’re all saying I’m in the wrong and need to apologize. My sister agrees with me but says I was disrespectful. Cody doesn’t wanna talk about it.


Just to make it clear, the practice was an informal one. Think of it as extra credit/to strengthen specific skills.”

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rbleah 11 months ago
Those two supposed men didn't make the cut in sports and their current chance is Cody. One day Cody will snap, verbally, and tell them both how AWFUL THEY ARE. And he is DONE being their toy.
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12. AITJ For Telling My Boss To Give The Whole Team A Raise?

“I’m working at a robotics company and for the last year, we’ve been under massive crunch time.

I work with 5 other people and along with being coworkers we’ve all become friends, hard not to when everyone was there all the time, working nights and weekends.

We all talked about our salaries, everyone was making between 70 and 85 grand.

I was making 70 grand.

Anyway, I was getting burnt out, and I knew my coworkers were too. And I found another job that would pay me 105 grand. I decided to resign, I knew it was bad timing because it was just under 2 months out from a major deadline and I was the only one who knew the software module I was working on.

I was worried my coworkers would be upset with me for quitting because I figured they’d get even more overwhelmed having my work on top of theirs. But everyone told me to quit anyway, they were happy for me and I’d be stupid not to take it.

So I went to talk to my boss. He said that it was awful timing, and accused me of picking the worst time possible to quit that would sabotage the company… And said that the company would beat any competing offer to keep me.

I said that my competing offer was 105 grand, thinking that he’d be like ‘never mind’ since I’d spent years arguing for a raise at all. But he said he could offer 110.

That honestly made me mad, years of saying that there was no money for raises then as soon as I talk about quitting there’s money?

I knew some of my coworkers had been having the same struggle. So I said ‘Well, everyone on the team is working just as hard as me, I wouldn’t feel good taking that. If you want to talk about a retention offer, how about a 100,000 salary for everyone?’

He laughed like I was making a joke and I said that I wasn’t kidding, paying me significantly more than everyone else who deserves the same isn’t gonna help the team morale or make me want to stay.

He said I was being unreasonable and he wasn’t able to talk about anyone’s salary or benefits in my retention package but my own. I said ok, if that’s the case, I’m not interested in a retention offer, and I’m putting in my notice.

He got really mad at that point and said not to bother with notice, to hand over my keys and computer now.

I feel like I burned bridges a bit, I don’t know if I should have gotten so argumentative there…

I’m still friends with the whole software team, they think it’s funny what I said, but I know the management there is mad and put me on a don’t rehire list. I also feel a little guilty because I wanted to do 2 weeks’ notice to help my coworkers take over my work, but now they’re stuck with no context for what they’re doing at all and only have a month to figure it out.

AITJ for trying to negotiate like that?”

2 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918 and LilVicky

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rbleah 11 months ago
Think about this for a moment. So you get the project done and all of a sudden the boss tries to get you fired. You put him in a bad spot according to him so PAYBACK ON YOU? If they won't pay you what you are worth LEAVE. As for COMPANY LOYALTY? They don't have any for YOU why should YOU have any for THEM? NOPE NOT THE JERK.
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11. AITJ For Not Wanting To Sing A Song I Wrote For My Partner At My Sister's Wedding?

“I’m a sucker for music and songwriting. I haven’t written many songs, let alone record one. But I had good inspiration and I wrote a very touchy one for my partner who I’ve been with for 3 years.

I even synthesized music for it and I want to record it and personally give it to my partner since it’s special for us.

My family asked me to play them the song since it’s the first song that I’ve finished. And I did.

My sister was very touched and she asked me to play that song on her wedding day for her and her husband. I said I can try making another song for them if I have the time and inspiration but I don’t want to play this one because it’s personal for me and my partner and it’s about our relationship.

She insisted that it is not a big deal and she wants me to play the song. I said I don’t want to. It’s personal.

She then pulled out the ‘It’s my wedding’ card. ‘I’m your sister.

Can’t you do me this favor? Can’t you make your sister happy?’ I said again, no. I told her I’d try to write one for her and her husband but I’m not playing mine.

Plus it would be more touching for me to write their own song.

She and my parents then proceeded to claim that it would be more appropriate for me to sing that song for my sister and her husband on their wedding day since they’ve officiated their relationship and are not just significant others.

That hit the nail on the head for me and I said you know what. Screw you all for what you’re doing. This isn’t fair at all and the fact that you’re undermining my relationship to make a point is trashy.

My parents, my sister, and her husband are now bugging me about this. They say I’m a very selfish person who can’t do his sister a small favor and that I’m very uptight about this.


2 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918, LilVicky and Spaldingmonn

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rusty 11 months ago
Not the jerk, but if you do not copyright this song, there is every chance that your sister will try to take the song for herself and claim it as her own...there is an electronic copyright webpage that can be accessed and you can get an immediate receipt for the copyright need to do this now because sis sounds like a total jerk about this. Don't worry about "how good" you think the song may or may not this NOW!! The page address is Please get this done for your own sanity and good luck on your songwriting!
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10. AITJ For Being Mad At A Mom Who Didn't Give My Daughter Food?

“My daughter had a sleepover at her friend’s place who is her 4th-grade classmate.

I brought a sleeping bag and air mattress in case she had trouble sleeping in the same bed as her friend. The air mattress is a self-inflator that just needs to be plugged in. I told the friend’s mom how to inflate it and gave her that and the sleeping bag.

There was never a discussion if she would be sleeping in her friend’s bed I just left it for the girls to decide.

The next day my daughter was really upset when I came to pick her up, claiming she was made to sleep on the floor by her friend’s bed because her mom thought there wasn’t enough space.

The friend’s bed is probably a twin which is why I brought the air mattress and sleeping bag. She also said she didn’t get any supper and breakfast but her friend got mac and cheese for dinner and cereal for breakfast which made me mad because who feeds one child and not the other?!

I called up the other mom who claimed she didn’t know how to inflate the air mattress so just gave her the sleeping bag. She has my number and could have just called me!

She also claimed she hadn’t budgeted for feeding another child so didn’t have enough for both of them and I didn’t bring any food for my child. I’ve never been asked or expected by any parent to bring food for my child to eat at sleepovers and I just don’t believe she couldn’t go out to buy some.

She lives in a better community than we do and her house is easily over 1 million. The mom is dressed nicely and there’s a Lexus in the driveway. I just don’t believe they are struggling and if they were why wouldn’t they ask me to bring food for my child?

I didn’t feel like arguing but I don’t trust the parents.

Last week my daughter asked me to go for another sleepover and I told her to invite her friend to sleep over at our house for a change.

The mom called me up again and said she would allow her child to sleep at someone else’s house but we can let our daughter sleep at her place. I declined and told my daughter she could hang out at her friend’s house after school but I wouldn’t let her sleep over there again because of how she was treated and she’s upset with me over it.

I’m sure she’ll forget about it soon but AITJ for not wanting my daughter to sleep over because I don’t trust the friend’s parents.”

1 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918

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MzPen 11 months ago
I would ask my daughter why she would want to go back to the house where the mother refused to feed her. On top of that, what's wrong with the friend who would just eat in front of her guest and not offer to share?? That family is messed up.
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9. AITJ For Supporting My Mom's Dreams?

“My wife and I have three kids between 2-8.

I also have 3 other siblings who have kids as well.

My parents love being grandparents but are really busy. My mum is currently the president of a fiber arts guild in her local area and travels a lot to shows, and conferences, and visits other guilds in their national network.

She’s also flown around and asked to teach classes even internationally and got a diploma from people who do embroidery for the Queen of England (literally).

Growing up my mother was a stay-at-home mom but after we grew up she got really involved with her crafts.

My dad who has retired is super supportive and travels with her to these conferences and was her ‘campaign manager’ when she went for president. His reasoning is that she supported his career all these years so now it’s his turn to take on the support role so he travels with her and jokes that he’s her secretary now.

My mum recently expressed wanting to get her bachelor’s degree in this particular field and the course is only taught in the UK (we are in another part of Europe) so my dad and mum want to move to London for 3 years using the funds they got from downsizing the family home.

My siblings and I are a bit disappointed that we won’t have our parents around as much but we also understand how much our mum has given up to raise us and how much she loves her crafts.

The problem for my wife and me is that my parents were a huge source of childcare for us during the times they were free. Her parents live in a different country and so they can’t be as involved as they like.

My nieces and nephews have another set of grandparents who are hands-on.

My wife feels that it’s unfair of my parents to move to London like this when our kids are young and need their grandparents the most for a degree that my mum doesn’t need to use because she already teaches classes and is president of a guild so getting a bachelor’s won’t actually help in any way and my parents are just draining the funds they got from the sale of our family home.

She expressed this to my mum last Saturday over dinner and my mum is now hurt and wavering on her decision. My siblings are furious at my wife and we ended up leaving the dinner because while things didn’t turn into a shouting match, my wife was basically told she had no say in this because it wasn’t her mum and she wasn’t family.

I thought that was a harsh thing to say to my wife but I also think our issues shouldn’t be a factor in my mum pursuing her dreams. My wife basically told her that being a grandmother should be the most important thing in her life.

Now my wife is angry with me for not backing her up when my siblings told her to butt out and for agreeing that my parents should go to London for 3 years even though it’s going to make things harder for us.


1 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918 and lebe

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rusty 11 months ago (Edited)
So let me see here...your mum supported your dad in all of his career moves, and now that they are both retired, mum wants to pursue a degree in her chosen field, which dad FULLY supports (good on him!!). All the other siblings have other grandparents that dote on their respective grands, but your wife's parents are in another country, so they can't be near their grands. Am I right so far? All the other sibs are ecstatic about mum and dad going to England to get her degree, even though it's going to take a couple of years, but your wife is acting all butthurt because she "won't have extra childcare"? Really? REALLY??!! Is she serious right now? Don't get me started on how your wife is acting about your mum and dad spending the money from THE SALE OF THEIR OWN HOUSE, the house THEY bought and paid for!! That is one place she has ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS SAYING ANYTHING!!! Your wife is a TOTAL jerk for the way she is acting! This is not even her own mother, yet she feels she has a say in what's going on? Then has the nerve to think she's right??!! You are not a jerk but your wife is one, and an entitled one at that!!!
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8. AITJ For Complimenting A Woman's Outfit?

“I (26F) have been getting into the habit of complimenting strangers more. I love it when people do it to me, and I know people love it when it’s done to them. It makes my day when someone notices the cute earrings I wore or my new shoes, and I know a lot of people are missing that from their daily lives.

I’ve never had a problem with it before because I follow the very simple rule of complimenting something within their control. I only compliment hairstyles and fashion choices, never body or looks. Mostly to avoid being a total creep, but also because I personally have insecurities over my body and hate when people draw attention to those parts even if in a positive way.

I also approach them in a friendly way and use a polite tone (basically I don’t yell out ‘Hey your skirt is hot’. I would say ‘Excuse me, but I wanted to say I really like your pants and think they’re very cute.’)

Today I was leaving the supermarket carpark in my car and traffic leaving was at a standstill. I noticed an elderly woman putting away her groceries in the car I was idling next to. I wound down my window and said ‘Your dress is absolutely gorgeous’.

She turned around, probably a bit startled, and the exchange went something like this:

‘I beg your pardon?!’

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I was just complimenting that dress you’re wearing. It’s very pretty.

Is it from Gorman?’

‘That’s very rude to do that. You of all people should know better than to catcall a lady’.

I was a bit taken aback. My tone was friendly and polite, and I didn’t scream it out of my car or anything (again she was right next to me and the traffic was stopped due to too many people trying to leave).

‘I’m sorry to have offended you, but I don’t think I catcalled you’.

Then she looked furious: ‘How dare you tell a woman what is and isn’t harassment!’

At this point the cars were beginning to move so I just slowly drove off, but I couldn’t tell if what I had done was inappropriate.

I really do think there’s a big difference between a compliment and a catcall, and up until now, I didn’t think I had any problems telling the difference.

So… was I the jerk? Should I just stop complimenting people?

For what it’s worth, I really did like her dress and genuinely wanted to know if it was from Gorman.”

1 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918

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MzPen 11 months ago
A young woman catcalling an older woman? That woman was ridiculous. Maybe she's homophobic and thought you were trying to flirt with her? Some people are determined to be permanently unpleasant.
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7. AITJ For Lying About My Current Situation?

“My (30F) dad (75M) was diagnosed with terminal cancer last year. I eventually had to quit my job to be a caregiver for him, as my parents couldn’t afford to pay thousands every month for caregivers or for a nursing home (yes, I know some people have insurance to cover this, but we won’t until we can get on Medicaid, which is a long way off).

Needless to say, watching my father slowly die has been the worst experience of my life.

Because I’ve been so busy tending to my family and I’ve also been wrought with ongoing grief, I admit I haven’t taken care of myself grooming-wise.

It felt wrong and wasteful to do something nice for myself, like go to a salon, when my family is suffering so much.

A friend (Mary, 33F) recently convinced me to get a haircut at her friend’s (Liz, 40sF) salon.

I booked the appointment for last Sunday. I wasn’t looking forward to having to make small talk with Liz; even during normal circumstances, I’m not one for chit-chat and have always hated awkward conversations with stylists during a haircut.

But, with my overall mood being so down, I really, really wasn’t looking forward to the small talk.

Luckily, Liz was very chill. She wasn’t too bubbly, which made me feel comfortable. After we settled on the haircut I wanted, she started asking me the usual questions, inquiring about where I was from, what I did for a living, etc. I made a split-second decision not to disclose that I was a caregiver for my terminally ill father.

Instead, I vaguely described the life I used to have, and the job I used to have, and played it off as my current situation. I just didn’t feel like talking about my father or delving into his diagnosis.

I didn’t want to end up in tears during a haircut. So, I essentially lied to Liz, kept it vague and short, and quickly asked her questions in return so that the attention was back on her.

This entire exchange lasted maybe 30 minutes in total.

Fast forward to this morning. I got a text from Mary that said Liz was offended that I didn’t tell her about my father and that I lied about my current job.

I texted Mary back, asking how that even came up between the two of them. I explained to Mary why I didn’t want to talk about my father with a stranger. Mary texted that she had been catching up with Liz and had said something like, ‘It’s a shame what happened to OP and her family, having to drop everything to take care of her dad like that.’ Liz, of course, didn’t know what Mary was talking about.

Once Mary explained, Liz was livid that I lied to her. She told Mary that she wouldn’t want me as a client again because she ‘couldn’t trust me.’

Mary asked if she could relay an apology to Liz on my behalf.

I told her no. I didn’t have the energy to keep texting about it, so I haven’t said anything else to her. But, the guilt of lying to Liz is settling in. AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918

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rbleah 11 months ago
What in hades makes her think you HAVE TO TELL HER ANYTHING? Tell your friend EXACTLY THAT. You DO NOT NEED to tell ANYBODY ANYTHING you don't want to. NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. Tell your supposed friend to pass that along TO A TOTAL STRANGER to you.
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6. AITJ For Thinking My Fiancée Doesn't Care About Not Getting An Engagement Ring?

“My partner of many years and I recently got engaged. I planned a romantic proposal including a holiday and a fancy dinner, but I didn’t get her an engagement ring.

She never wears any kind of jewelry. She owns one pair of earrings that are a family heirloom and as she says herself they’re purely sentimental because she doesn’t even have pierced ears.

So I never thought she’d care about having a ring.

She seemed fine at first, no different from normal. It was her birthday not long after the proposal and I did notice a dip in her mood, but she said she was fine and she’s not one to play games like trying to make people guess what’s wrong – if she says she’s fine, she is.

Today, her best friend came over and said she needed to talk to me. She asked why I didn’t get Heather (fiancée) an engagement ring. I said pretty much what I said above – I just didn’t think it was something she’d place any value upon.

Apparently, she’s spent the last few hours crying at Martha’s (best friend) house about why didn’t I think she was special enough to get a ring. She had wondered if I’d give it to her as a birthday present which is why her mood dropped after it, and Martha pointed out to me that of course she would have valued it.

Heather grew up very loved but very poor. She once said the only new things she’s ever owned are her glasses – everything else was a hand-me-down. Even now, when we both live comfortably, she never asks for anything or buys herself anything new.

It should have been obvious to me that she probably would place a lot of importance in being ‘special’ enough to have something shiny and new, but I only saw the fact that it was jewelry and she doesn’t ‘do’ jewelry so she probably wouldn’t care.

I realize I’ve messed up and I’ll fix it, somehow. But then Martha said if I didn’t think Heather would be upset by not getting a ring, maybe I’m not the best person for her.

And now I’m thinking, am I being an unkind jerk to her or have I just made a well-meaning but badly judged decision?”

1 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918

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Stryker55 11 months ago
NTJ but an engagement ring isn't just jewelry, it's a symbol of your commitment. She probably felt uncomfortable saying something to you, and talked to her best friend, which is normal. The friend just clued you in, good for her. So go ahead and get a ring, it doesn't have to cost a fortune. A good place to look is at a pawn shop, you can get a nice ring for much less than a traditional jewelry store, and while she probably wouldn't care where you bought it, she doesn't need to know that's where you shopped.
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5. AITJ For Wanting My Ashes to Be Mixed With My Wife's When I Pass Away?

“I (M44) lost my wife about five years ago at the age of 34 due to cancer.

We had been married for almost ten before that and I had known and been friends with her another ten before that. After her death, I chose to have her cremated and I put the urn in a little shrine with some of my favorite pictures of her and her wedding ring.

It’s been up in my house ever since and every year on her birthday and on the anniversary of her death her family (Father, Mother, and sister) comes over and we have dinner and discuss our favorite memories.

Well, her father and mother do, her sister had always been quiet during these moments and would rarely offer much of a response but I figured it was her way of grieving and never bothered her about it.

A few months ago I had an issue with some heart problems (I’m not the healthiest person) and it made me realize that it wouldn’t hurt to have a will and figure out what I want to happen to me after I go.

I basically decided to give everything of mine to my nieces and nephews (we never had kids nor wanted any) and all my wife’s stuff to her family. I also decided I wanted to have my ashes mixed with hers and have them spread at the nearby beach we used to frequent (it’s never busy and usually too cold to swim in).

I didn’t think anything of it until I mentioned parts of my will to her parents and sister at her birthday dinner last week (they asked more questions and the idea for our ashes came out).

Her parents thought it was a lovely idea but her sister immediately got angry.

She blew up and yelled at me about how ever since her death I’ve gone out of my way to objectify my wife with my shrine, how I was being selfish for keeping her ashes to myself and now I was depriving everyone of having a place to grieve.

How I was scum for lusting after her for all these years and never moving on.

(I genuinely don’t think it’s possible for me to ever find love again. I attempted a few dates with women who were objectively my type but I could never feel anything other than friendly with them.)

After her rant I asked her to leave while holding back tears and her parents followed her after apologizing profusely but I can’t stop thinking about it. So AITJ?

Edit: I offered a portion of my wife’s ashes to her family.

Her father took some and has a small vial he keeps with him and her mother made a diamond. Her sister declined and asked for a few extra pictures of my wife which I obliged.”

1 points - Liked by pamlovesbooks918

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rbleah 11 months ago
NTJ Was the SIL secretly hoping you would turn to her for solace after her sis died? She sounds like she has some major ISSUES.
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4. AITJ For Not Going To My Friend's Wedding Because I Cannot Arrange Childcare?

“I was a jerk eight years ago along with being a major bridezilla. I had my wedding on a Wednesday afternoon. We were late sending out invites, and many of my guests had to take off from work and travel several hours to be there.

When many people declined, I took to social media and went on a rant about people not making time for important things and being terrible friends and relatives. I am ashamed of this and hate that I did this.

An old friend of mine, Paul, had just started a new job, took the day off work, drove 5 hours, and gave us a very generous gift. I was so touched and still remember how nice it was to see him.

Life is different now. We have a 5-year-old and a 3-year-old. Paul is getting married in October. It’s 5 hours away. We got the save the date and the invitation. I tried to get childcare for the day, but no relatives are willing to do it and we cannot afford a babysitter.

It’s my day off and my husband is hourly so taking the day off would mean no income and we’d have to pay a sitter.

I apologized to Paul and told him that we could not arrange childcare that day and it was a far distance to travel so we could not be there.

He replied that was why he had given us plenty of advanced notice so that childcare would not be a problem.

I was a bit taken aback but didn’t say anything further. When I spoke to my sister, she reminded me of my post, specifically calling out people who didn’t get babysitters, people who wouldn’t take off work, and those who wouldn’t travel for my wedding.

I explained that I regretted my words, that I had grown up a lot, and as my life had changed I recognized I had been unfair. My sister replied that I hadn’t changed, I just wanted different rules to apply to me when the shoe is on the other foot.

She told me I at least owed it to Paul to send a monetary gift equivalent to what he gave me. I explained that we literally cannot afford to give a gift right now, and I feel terrible.”

0 points - Liked by Spaldingmonn and lebe

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Chickenfried 11 months ago
I have a feeling sister is right in what she said about you. Is it a child free wedding? If not, suck it up and take kiddo with you. Or, figure it out and find someone to sit. You owe it to your friend. Well. If you want to keep your friend that is. If you don't care about your friendship, then do whatever you want!
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3. AITJ For Invalidating My Significant Other's Love For His Game?

“I (19f) and my significant other ‘Zach’ (19m) have been together for about a year.

Things between us are great and we’re very close and loving.

Zach, just like a lot of people, has a lot of hobbies. He likes rugby, swimming, singing, and of course, video games. He’s been a gamer ever since he was little and I was cool with it (even though he does it quite often) as it really didn’t matter much.

I didn’t really care to show interest in the games though.

His favorite game recently is super mario bros. He’s been working hard the past month on the game to finish levels and unlock new worlds.

He was really excited about unlocking this one world in particular and was telling me just how excited he was. He didn’t talk about it much but eventually, it got kinda annoying. Apparently, the levels needed to be completed to unlock the world were very hard.

We were hanging out at his place one night and after a while, I was in Zach’s room just eating and watching TV while he was gaming in the living room.

Eventually, I heard Zach frantically call out to me.

Getting worried, I ran over quickly to see him smiling big. He started pointing to the TV and shouting all excited that he finally beat the level and unlocked the world he’s been so excited about.

I laughed and congratulated him with a hug and kiss before sitting beside him.

He started telling me more and more about the hard levels he had to complete to do it and he also started showing me the world itself.

Eventually, I grew uninterested as it really wasn’t that interesting to me.

So after a few short minutes, I cut him off and said something like ‘Okay relax. I get it. You beat the stupid levels and got the world.

Woop-dee-doo. I don’t care anymore.’ I said it in a slightly annoyed and sarcastic tone but I wasn’t ‘mad’. Zach’s face right away dropped and he looked hurt. All he did was mumble a ‘Fine’ and turn away from me.

He shut the TV without even trying out the new world he unlocked and went to his room.

The rest of the night was very quiet. He wasn’t mad at me but he just seemed hurt.

I felt like he was trying to guilt me because this was just way overreacting. I mean it was just a game and here he was almost crying.


-1 points (1 vote(s))

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Kambo 11 months ago
YTJ. My hubby is a gamer. I don't really care about most of his games (a few he's got me hooked on), I DO care about him. So I LOVE when he gets excited about his games and wants to share with me. I make a note to remember game names and a few details about the majority of his games (he has too many to remember all of them). It's part of what makes him who he is and that makes me love him all the more. I'm sure you have some hobbies he's not that into. When you truly care about/love someone, you care about/ love all of them.
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2. AITJ For Wanting To Supervise My Stepdaughter?

“My husband and I have been married for two years and have five children: his daughter from a previous marriage (16), my two sons from a previous relationship (13 and 15), and two children together (3 and 1).

My husband’s daughter lived primarily with her mother until she was in 8th grade when she was offered a scholarship to go to a very good boarding school for high school.

I’ve never agreed with the idea of sending teenagers to live away from family, but her mother and my then-fiance agreed that it would be beneficial for her. They drafted a new custody agreement to reflect the new school schedule.

My husband moved out of state, so he always had summers and holidays anyway.

When I married my husband, I thought that she would be just a day boarder which seems better than full-time, so I let it go.

By the time I learned the truth, 2020 was in full swing, and removing her wouldn’t have been safe even if she’d wanted to leave, which she didn’t.

Fast forward to 2022, she’s 16 years old and a junior.

I recently learned that her mother moved back to her home country SIX MONTHS AGO and has been letting my stepdaughter manage her own finances. This means that there’s now not even a parent in the same state or even side of the country as my stepdaughter.

She is completely independent in her day-to-day life.

My stepdaughter has every weekend unsupervised to do whatever she pleases, and independent access to not only multiple major cities but is only a day trip from another country that she has dual citizenship in.

I’ve seen social media posts of her just going to art shows in other states without her having even pretended to ask one of her parents for permission. This isn’t acceptable.

It’s not okay for a teenager to just go live her own life, especially to this degree.

We have two sons that are only 1 and 3 years behind her, and they’re starting to see the double standard as well. I would NEVER let any of my kids do the things my stepdaughter is doing.

She’s my child too, and this needs to stop. She needs to change schools to be either with her mother or with us and be part of a family.

My husband says that it’s different because she ‘was raised differently’ and is ‘just more responsible’, but that’s nonsense.

If he actually thinks she’s not being a normal 16-year-old with that level of freedom, he’s lying to himself. My stepdaughter loves her school, of course, and is very resistant to changing schools for all of one year of high school to leave her friends, and no doubt doesn’t want to actually have rules.

I’m still pushing the issue, and now my husband and stepdaughter are mad at me for trying to change the status quo, the boys are mad at me for ‘having double standards’, and other family members are mad at me for either over or under stepping in ‘my role’.


-1 points - Liked by lebe

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Chickenfried 11 months ago
HER PARENTS are ok with this arrangement. Again...HER PARENTS. You have absolutely no legal right to make her do anything as she is NOT YOUR CHILD. She, dad, and mom have the right to be upset. Stay in your lane!!
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1. AITJ For Suggesting For My Son-In-Law To Shave His Beard?

“I (51f) have two daughters (28 and 26.) My older daughter is married to a 29-year-old man; they’ve been together for about six years.

They have two boys together. He’s a really good man – honest, kind, hard-working – and I’m glad my daughter found him.

He’s always had this huge, bushy beard, though. I’ve seen pictures of him when he was in high school, and he was a really good-looking boy.

I’ve always kind of secretly thought that the beard didn’t suit him, but I’d kept that opinion to myself.

Recently, however, we were at my younger grandson’s first birthday party. Some of the adults (myself, my husband, my two daughters, my SIL, both of his parents, and his sister) were sitting around playing Trivial Pursuit.

Maybe I’d had one too many glasses of wine, but I suddenly asked my SIL ‘You know, you’re a really handsome guy. Why are you hiding it under all that fur? Have you ever thought about trying a clean-shaven look?’

Right away his mother laughed and said ‘Don’t bother; I’ve been on him about that for years and he won’t listen to me.’

My SIL responded ‘Yep; the beard’s here to stay.’

I pushed just a little and asked ‘But, I mean, what’s the harm in shaving it off just once?

What’s the worst that would happen? You don’t like being clean-shaven? You could just grow the beard right back.’

He just said, ‘I’m not interested in shaving it at this time.’

I answered: ‘Well it’s your face, of course, but you should just consider it.’

That was the end of the conversation and we got on with the game. I didn’t give it another thought until later after I’d gotten home and my daughter texted me ‘Why are you telling my husband how to groom himself?

That was weird and it wasn’t your place.’

I showed my husband the text and asked what he thought and he just said ‘You may have come off more pushy than you meant. He didn’t ask your opinion.’

I just felt comfortable around my SIL enough to tell him what I thought. I didn’t mean to act pushy and I thought I dropped the issue fast enough. But was I wrong to even express my opinion just that once?”

-2 points (2 vote(s))

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deco 11 months ago
YTJ You expressed your opinion on his beard nine times in that ‘conversation’. That definitely qualifies as pushy in my book.
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