People Keep Stressing Over Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"My parents are divorced. My dad screwed our family over in the divorce. He got into a lot of debt and left my mom to deal with some of the fallout knowing she was a stay-at-home mom with no income of her own.

He was somewhat controlling where that was concerned and he "didn't want the mother of his children working outside the home". Both households struggled for years because of his actions. As the oldest I (17M) had the burden of being made aware of this, which is something my mom yelled at dad for because he encouraged me to get a job when I was 10 to help out financially. Mom was so angry at him.

While still in debt and not even formally divorced from my mom, Dad met his current wife and moved her and her three kids into the house he was renting. They got married days after the divorce was finalized and wasted money my dad did not have.

When I was 15 I asked my mom if she would feel comfortable with asking for full custody of me. She said of course and she refused to let me help with money (I had a small part-time job at the time). Mom got full custody of me but my sisters still had to do the 50/50 thing.

I stopped almost all communication with Dad. But I can't entirely cut him off until I turn 18.

My dad still struggles with money and there were times, when mom didn't try and make up for him, that I bought my sisters stuff for Christmas or their birthdays that would make up for him instead.

But they got them at home with me and Mom. Dad became aware of this. And last week he asked me to let him borrow some money for his stepdaughter's birthday which was 2 days ago. I told him no. He texted me about 40 times asking for the money and saying he would pay me back on March 15th. I said no again. I ignored the rest of the texts that came through.

The day of his stepdaughter's birthday he called and texted me a bunch and told me how upset she was to get no gifts and how bad I should feel when I have made sure my sisters never feel that way and wouldn't do the same for a stepsibling.

His wife also texted me saying I should be more compassionate.

AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ "he encouraged me to get a job when I was 10 to help out financially. Mom was so angry at him." What?? His track record of jerk behavior is impressive.

You're 17 now & he still hasn't learned it's not okay to ask you for money. "His wife also texted me saying I should be more compassionate." She's a good match for him in jerk terms. Good luck for the future, including permanently freeing yourself from this deadbeat." Apart-Ad-6518

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. It's not your fault your dad is an inconsiderate jerk with no awareness of saving money. Blaming you for his own problems is wild. Don't let those trashcans guilt trip you. I bet if you give him money once, he will continuously ask for more.

I'd block them both and cut contact completely. Toxic people aren't worth the time. Make sure to save the messages first. Do you even have a relationship with the step-family?" Keenzur

Another User Comments:

"Print out the texts, frame them and wrap them up nicely and send them to your stepsiblings.

As a reminder that their parents were not able to start saving money for an event that comes up every year at the same time. How was he gonna pay you back if he can't even plan such a thing? NTJ." GemueseBeerchen