People Want To Get Their Voices Heard Through Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
36. AITJ For Not Including My Biological Family In My Wedding Party?
“I (28 F) was the product of an affair my dad had with my bio mom, she abandoned me after I was born and I was raised by my dad for the first year and a half of my life, he and his wife got together again and she raised me.
She can’t have kids so I was her only child, that woman has loved me since day 1 and never treated me differently, I love her and she is my mom, my bio mom and I never had a relationship until a couple of years ago when her new kids reached out to me because they wanted to meet me, my parents were okay with it and I did, they’re ok kids (20 F, 18 M), I also met my bio mom and husband, cool dude.
I think they’re nice people and I have visited them a couple of times, they’ve met my fiancee about like 2 times, and we are set to get married in February next year, so I started to talk to the people I want to participate, maid of honor, I asked my cousin from my mom’s side, she is around my age and overall a sister to me, I also asked my childhood best friend and that’s it, my dad and mom will both walk me down the aisle.
I asked my parents and they were okay with me inviting my bio family since they’re also a part of my life now, honestly, I asked my mom if she would be ok with it and she said yes, so I did, my half-sister asked me if she would be part of something and I told her she would be just a guest since I already have my maid of honor and she got upset then started complaining how I didn’t include them at all and are treating them as strangers, I told her that until 4 years ago that’s all they were to me and I have people in my life who have been with me for my whole life, my brother told me I really hurt her feelings and his too.
They’re all mad at me now, not bio mom tho she didn’t say anything.
My fiancee says they have no rights to anything and that his family has literally been in my life longer than them, we’ve known each other for like 10 years, but I kinda feel bad for my half-sister because she is really sweet, but I just don’t feel like having them as nothing more than guests.
AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Not Wanting To Come To The Birthday Party My Mom Arranged For Me?
“My 35th birthday is on Tuesday. I’ve been having really complicated feelings about the whole thing, so when my wife and father both asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday I said ‘Nothing’. And I truly meant it I’m not like those passive-aggressive people who say I want nothing and then get mad when nobody does anything.
I’m a parent to twin 1-year-olds so a quiet day would genuinely be a gift.
My mom, however, told me ‘I’m holding a BBQ for your birthday on August 26, bring your wife and kids.’ I told my mom thank you but I really didn’t want this to be about my birthday.
If she wants to do a family barbecue, just as a fun thing that’s fine we’ll participate but I don’t want it to be about my birthday. No cake no presents. My mom got offended at this idea, insisting she wanted to celebrate me, so I reluctantly agreed.
Fast forward to yesterday. My dad texted me asking what kind of cake I wanted for my celebration this Saturday. I got confused and asked him to double-check the date. He said Mom invited him (they’re divorced obviously) for this Saturday. I reached out to my mom to clear up the confusion.
She said it was this Saturday. I reminded her she told me the next Saturday and she argued with me.
After a bit, she got frustrated and admitted ‘We have to do it this weekend because that is when your cousin will be in town.’ Suddenly the truth dawned on me.
The barbecue wasn’t for me, it was so, my cousin could have a nice homecoming after being gone a few months. I was furious at this point, and said ‘So you planned a birthday celebration without my consent, didn’t consult me or my wife for what I actually wanted, and didn’t ask me who I would like at this shindig, after not really doing anything for my birthday in nearly 10 years?’ She got flustered and said I’m just trying to do something nice.
I got mad and said ‘Well, enjoy your barbecue with your nephew, because this party is not for me, it’s for him. My family and I will not be attending. Thanks anyway.’
My mom is really upset with me and is insisting she did this for my sake, and it’s cold to just ignore her and everyone else who just wants to celebrate me.
On the one hand, maybe she is trying to do something nice for me, but on the other this reeks of her poor planning and her desire to make others happy regardless of my feelings. Am I crazy here? Is it selfish of me to tell my mom to cancel the party?
Edit: I am not mad because the party isn’t about me, I am mad because she clearly threw the event for my cousin, and decided last second ‘Oh crap, it’s my son’s birthday, better toss that in too so I don’t look bad.’ I feel like an afterthought of what was painted as a celebration for me.
If she had told me from the jump that it’s a celebration for your cousin coming into town, I would’ve been fine with that. In my opinion, if you’re going to celebrate someone’s birthday, you should celebrate their birthday in a way they want, not what you want.”
34. AITJ For Being Mad At My Housemate For Leaving Me With A Wasted Guy?
“Late last Saturday night, a guy (27 M) who my housemate (24 M) and I (25 F) used to work with called me while really wasted. For context, neither of us really knows him on a personal level, we’d both consider him an acquaintance, but, about 2 years ago he tried to hook up with me.
I had this guy on speaker, my housemate said hi to him and started having a chat. He said he didn’t have a lift home and was stuck in a storm 20 minutes from our house. My housemate offered him a lift home and he took him up on it so we both went to pick him up.
He gets in the car and I immediately ask for his address and he refuses to give one. We keep driving around and I keep asking for an address. My housemate suggests he just come back to our house and he can get an Uber home from ours.
So we get back to our house, and we’re all sitting on the couch. It’s a bit of awkward conversation and after about 30 minutes my housemate decides he’s going to bed and leaves me alone with this guy.
It was pretty obvious this guy had no intention of leaving and started making himself at home by taking himself on a house tour (we live in a townhouse, I’m downstairs and my housemate is upstairs).
The guy arrives at my bedroom, I ask him not to go in there, but he doesn’t listen and decides to lie down on my bed. I asked him to get off my bed and he said no, then I asked when he was going home and he just moaned.
I texted my housemate asking why he would just leave me like that and he responded by saying ‘HAHA sorry I couldn’t take it anymore’. I told him he wasn’t leaving and instead of offering to help (he’s 6 ft 6 and pretty intimidating), he asked if a guy I was newly seeing (28 M) at the time could come over and help, despite him living 20 mins away and it being 2 am.
My housemate stopped replying to me and thankfully my guy friend came over straight away. As soon as I told the wasted guy that another guy was coming over, he left within 2 minutes.
I told my housemate the next day that what he did was really uncool and he justified it by saying I’m not delicate and can take care of myself.
AITJ for being grumpy at my housemate for leaving me alone with the wasted guy? Given the fact that we both have no strong relationship with him and he knows I’m seeing someone.”
33. AITJ For Applying For A Single Person Discount?
“For non-UK residents, here we have to pay a tax to our local council that is based on average property value, but you can apply for a discount if you are the only adult in the home.
My husband moved out to stay with his mum almost a year ago. We have 2 kids that stayed with me. I didn’t apply right away because we weren’t sure if the separation would be permanent at that point. But now we are pretty set on divorce.
I have been on Universal Credit since he left as he was the main wage earner, and I was recently told that his name still being on the council tax bill as a resident could trigger an investigation, so I applied for the single person discount to have his name removed.
I then received an angry message from him that his mum had been hit with a back bill and an increase because it turns out, she was still claiming her discount despite him living there and paying rent. To be honest, it hadn’t even occurred to me to let them know, as I assumed that she informed them she had a second person living there.
He also said that he now has ‘no identity as to where he lives now’ and will have to spend a ‘fortune in money and holiday’ to change his address on his driving license and with the bank and work. I messaged him back saying that a) changing your address on all those things is free, and done online, and that there was no way I could have known his mum was still receiving the discount, and that I was shocked he was so concerned about himself that he didn’t care that I was at risk of losing half my income
I feel bad that she has been hit with a back bill, but I also feel like that really isn’t my responsibility?”
32. AITJ For Confronting My Coworkers About The Things They're Saying Behind My Back?
“I (20 f) started working for a production company in October last year. The people working there are all older than me (the closest to my age is 37) and have family and stuff.
I only started working there cause I need the money till I start my job training in July and they know that.
I was in our changing room when I heard them talking about how I apparently always ask my father to do everything for me and do nothing myself.
(He knows many people and has good business connections so he organized for my car to be fixed and asked a friend if I could apply at his company, but not in a way that he has to hire me, only to know if he is looking into hiring someone at all cause I need training first.) I also heard how they said I am generally unindependent (if that’s even a word) which I would personally say is wrong.
I have been handling most of the stuff (like insurance, getting new IDs, finding a job when I was 16, and all the things you need to organize) starting in 8th grade and basically had to work to pay my mothers and my bills when I moved in with her at 17 cause she was an addict.
Then I moved out at 18 without any help and finished my A levels at 20 years old (last year September).
The only thing my father helped me with was paying a part of my car but only because I had to spend some extra cash on something else and really needed the car (I am paying him back though so it’s not like I live from ‘daddy’s cash’).
A few days after I heard them they asked me if everything was alright, how it’s rude to not take part in conversations, and why I don’t talk anymore with them. So I just said that I don’t tell them things anymore because of how they have been talking about me and I don’t want anyone talking trash about me behind my back.
They asked me what I meant so I explained it to them and got a lecture on how it’s inappropriate to eavesdrop, that that’s only their opinion, and how they didn’t mean to insult me.
AITJ for confronting them? They have been cold to me and I feel like they want to get rid of me but it felt right to confront them.
31. AITJ For Wanting To Invite Our Cousin To Family Events If My Sister's Husband Is Coming?
“Last year my sister (35 f) found out her husband (38 M) was having an affair with our cousin (40 F).
He was tossed out of the house and she filed for divorce within 3 days of finding out. She went and told everyone too. We gave her as much financial and emotional support as we could. Our cousin’s husband tossed her out too and no one in our family would take her in.
Her kids have not spoken to her since this all went down.
To our shock and horror 2 months after my sister filed she decided to reconcile with her piece-of-work husband. On top of that, she insisted that we support her decision. We were especially appalled when she expected him to be invited for Christmas.
I was hosting and flat out told her she might have lost her mind but I still had mine and her piece-of-work husband would never be welcome at my house ever again. The rest of the family took the same stance. She told us she would not be coming for Christmas.
I told her I would miss her. I guess that was not her hill to die on because she showed up with her kids to celebrate and left her husband at home by himself.
We have a milestone birthday coming up for our grandma which is being held at my brother’s house.
The whole family will be there except for our cousin and sister’s husband.
Sister asked if there would ever come a time when her husband would be invited to family events again. I said our cousin would be invited back before her husband ever would.
She is very upset over this and says she needs our support and says her husband is still part of the family. I told her he was not and we will not change our minds. She got so angry that we would invite our cousin before her husband who she hates with every fiber of her being.
She called me and our brother a jerk. I told her to think about our cousin’s children. They don’t want to be around her piece-of-work husband. We have to protect them as well. She left crying and said we made her life so much harder and she feels all alone.
I told her she made a choice but the rest of us refused to enable her bad choices.
My best friend told me I was not very sympathetic to my sister and should consider letting the piece of work attend if my cousin’s kids were not around.
AITJ for wanting to invite our cousin to a family event before inviting BIL?”
30. AITJ For Not Baking A Cake For My Sister's Friend's Daughter's Birthday?
“My (f 18) sister has a friend (f 21) whose daughter is turning 4 this Saturday; let’s call her friend Jenna.
For some background information: Jenna and I don’t get along like, at all.
I won’t go into detail but let’s just say that she was your typical mean girl in school.
Now something you should know about me is that I absolutely LOVE to bake! This includes cakes, cookies, bread, pie, you name it.
About two hours ago, Jenna was at our house talking with my sister about her daughter’s birthday party and how she needed a cake.
While they’re talking in the kitchen, there’s me, in the living room minding my own business. All of a sudden, my sister called my name and said she needed to ask me something, but of course, it wasn’t my sister who wanted to ask me a question, it was Jenna.
She asked if I could make her daughter a birthday cake for free.
Because I have a weakness for children, I said I would be willing to do it, just not for free since I had to pay for all the ingredients myself. This made Jenna upset and ended up with her going on a tirade about how I’m apparently selfish for not doing this favor for her.
I then asked why she couldn’t just buy one and she said, and I quote, ‘It’s too expensive.’ I then asked her how many people she was planning on having—’over 50.’ I ended up saying ‘No’ altogether, called her a cheapskate, and told her she was out of her bloody mind if she thought someone would actually make a cake that large for her for free.
So, why am I sharing this here? Well, it’s because my mother has just offered to pay for the cake as she’s one to love children as well. Even though I would technically get paid, I don’t want it to come from my own mother’s pocket.
My sister doesn’t see a difference, as again, I’m still getting paid, but this is far beyond that to me now.
What do you guys think? AITJ?”
29. WIBTJ If I Get A New Apartment And Let My Significant Other Move Back To Her Parents' House?
“It is currently my significant other (F 23), my sister (F 23), and I (M 25) living in a two-bedroom apartment (SO and I in one bedroom, sister and various men from time to time in the other).
My sister and her don’t get along too well mostly due to living standards. Such as, how clean they like the apartment, when to do chores, how and where the animals (one cat, one dog) are kept up with, and when quiet hours are supposed to be.
After a lot of drama, anxiety attacks, passive-aggressive behavior, and drama from both of them later, we wind up to where we are now. The end of the lease is three months away. My sister, now going out with a guy (M 24), wants to move to the same apartment complex as him.
My SO and I are both trying to figure out living arrangements. When my sister said she was leaning towards not renewing, my SO was completely against us getting a one-bedroom until we were married. She said, ‘I’ll move back in with my parents ’cause I don’t want to pay so much.’ With that knowledge, I started looking for a one-bedroom for myself; something I considered to be a reasonable price and not too far from where I work.
Keep in mind I work with a management company for apartments so I’m looking for a property that has that management company cause we get a discount on the rent. (part of the reason we are in this one now is because she works here as a leasing agent so we got a really good rate.)
Fast forward a week, and my sister is definitely not going to renew with us. I found an apartment that I like, is affordable for me, and is in a good location with my management company. I show my SO and she thinks the place is crap, and acts like I haven’t even thought about if she’d like the apartment.
I say ‘What does it matter if you aren’t moving with me?’ She has a major fit saying we should be moving in together so the rent is cheaper, and I shouldn’t just leave her to move back in with her parents.
At first, I said ‘That was not what you told me at all, but fine.
If you wanna live together let’s find a reasonable place.’ None of the options she’s shown me are at the same price with both of us together and when I show her something in price point it’s not nearly good enough for her and too far from where she works.
Would I be the jerk if I went and moved into a one-bedroom alone and told her to move back with her parents?
Note: I’m caught between both my sister and SO saying I’m for the other side all the time. So any move I make is gonna cause the other to be upset at me and use that against me.”
28. AITJ For Not Wanting My Sister To Be Our Mom's Executor Of Will?
“I (27 F) have been trying to convince my (64) mom to change the person she has made her executor of her will. My mom is getting older and I’ve recently learned that she has been having more and more ‘mishaps’ where she falls and hurts herself and doesn’t go to the hospital even when she is in IMMENSE amounts of pain.
With all that has been going on in the world, I feel like I might lose her sooner rather than later. The thought isn’t a happy one… recently my mom has been making notes to tell me specific things that she wants me to have in her will so I know that they are mine.
I asked her once in a conversation if she had hired a lawyer yet to make sure that her wishes were carried out without issues and she told me that her younger sister would instead be making sure things went the way she wanted them to.
Here is where the problem comes in…
I am not on speaking terms with my mom’s sister as the woman is part of the reason why I have severe trauma from childhood mistreatment that I suffered at her hands. This same woman also convinced my mom that I wasn’t going to heaven because I am bi and don’t go to church every Sunday.
(She also hated gay people and would change the channel when a gay couple was on TV so I know her hatred is for all those who she deems as ‘heathens.’ She is a very big believer in the Bible and takes the Pope’s word as Law…) the issue that I have is this.
I am currently perpetually engaged to the man of my dreams and she has been trying for YEARS to find a way to make me leave him. I refuse. I am worried that if she remains as the executor of the will she will attempt to make stipulations that if I want my inheritance then I will have to break up with my fiance.
I am not willing to even entertain the thought of doing so and I fear that I will have to give up my inheritance because she will refuse to give it to me.
I’ve tried explaining to my mom why I am so against the thought but every time I have spoken against it she tells me I am ‘being overdramatic’ and I need to ‘move on’ from everything I was put through by her sister.
The last time she and I spoke about this issue I had to make an excuse to hang up because I felt like she was ignoring what I was trying to tell her.
AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Being Annoyed At My Mom's Comments On My Fiancée's Wedding Dress?
“At lunch with my parents, the wedding conversation came up against. My fiancée and I are getting married on Halloween night this year.
We both love Halloween and everything about it. However, we are not having a costume wedding or anything like that. Our wedding is moody, autumnal, and sort of bohemian. We’ve made it very clear that we aren’t trying to dress in costumes or anything like that.
Every time the wedding conversation is brought up, people tell us how they would do it. ‘You should do a Victorian wedding’ ‘You should have a vampire-themed wedding,’ etc… Those opinions were fine and all, but my fiancée has finally purchased a dress that she loves.
Frankly, it annoys me to constantly hear people tell my fiancée what she should have picked. My mother is the greatest offender of this. At lunch, she blatantly said, ‘You know the dress I would have picked.’
I paused for a moment and took a deep breath before saying, ‘Look, I love you to death, but I’m so sick of hearing what other people would do, and what she should do.
She already bought her dress, and nobody has said anything except how they’d do it better.’
I thought that was reasonable, but apparently it was not. My mother told me, ‘Okay, but don’t expect me to show any interest anymore.’ Which baffled me and caused me to react a bit aggressively.
I left the lunch annoyed and went home. My mom then FaceTimed me later that night to tell me how badly I hurt her feelings, how ungrateful I sounded, and how badly I owed her an apology. I did not apologize, and instead told her that her ultimatum was childish, petty, and immature.
I told her if anyone needed to apologize it was her.
She kept telling me that I need to just nod my head and move on when someone annoys me and that I am the reason conflict happens. Am I wrong for saying what I said?
I’m so annoyed that nobody, especially my mom, has said one good thing about my fiancée’s dress and instead uses it as an opportunity to tell her how they would do it.”
26. AITJ For Secretly Tipping The Waitress?
“I come from an extremely well-off family in the NYC area (worth noting because of tipping culture in the US), and I would say that my siblings and I are your typical spoiled trust fund kids.
So the other night, my family and I went out to a fancy restaurant and racked up a $500 dollar bill. We’d received excellent service throughout the whole night, and during some of our conversations with the waitress, we learned that she was a single mother of three.
Now, my father is one of those people who never tip because he ‘doesn’t believe in tipping culture’. I’ve argued with him over this topic ad nauseam, but he’s pretty stuck in his ways. So when he paid the bill and didn’t tip the waitress this time, I decided to take matters into my own hands.
As the rest of my family got up to leave and walked over to the front to wait for our driver to pull up, I stayed behind to ‘look for my earring’. I then walked over to the waitress who was now serving another table and gave her two 100$ bills, saying that my dad had asked me to give her the money as he’d forgotten to leave a tip on the bill.
She thanked me profusely and even gave me a hug.
Unfortunately for me, my dad witnessed the whole thing because he’d gone back to the table to pick up the sunglasses that he’d left behind. On the car ride back he yelled at me about how I’d disrespected him by going behind his back like that, and how ungrateful I was for everything he’d done for me.
The rest of my family took his side, and by the time our driver pulled up to our place, I started to feel like maybe I was in the wrong here, even though my intentions had been good.
AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Not Letting My Friend Sleep Over At My Place Unless He Apologized?
“Last weekend, I went out clubbing with my friends and at 4 am, we decided it was time to head home. Now my flat is quite close to town, and let my friends crash in my lounge all the time because everyone else lives a 20+ minute drive away and Ubers are expensive.
While my friends hadn’t asked to crash this particular night, I just assumed everyone wanted to. On our walk home, one of my friends and I got into a playful argument. During this argument, that same friend called me a jerk. This upset me and I asked him to apologize.
He refused to and told me that I was making a big deal out of nothing and that I was acting like a jerk.
I refused to let go of the subject, and I wanted an apology. He continued to be very angry and yelling at me, telling me to shut up and listen.
We were only halfway home at this point, and I didn’t want him crashing at my flat if he wasn’t willing to apologize for saying hurtful things so I told him that until he apologized, he wasn’t going to be able to crash at my flat.
I then walked off by myself home.
My other friends ended up coming back to the flat, knocking on the door asking to be let in and I let them in. I went into my room and was about to go to bed when I heard the front door open and close.
I went into the lounge and saw that they had let him into the house and he was getting ready for bed. I reiterated that unless he was willing to apologize, he was not going to stay at my flat. He told me to get lost and slammed the front door on his way out.
I didn’t want him to be without a bed for the night, but he really hurt me.
My other friend came up to talk to me and was like he is your friend at the end of the day. I know this and I reiterated that I didn’t want him to be without a bed, and all he needs to do to be able to crash at the flat is apologise to me.
The friend brought him back into the flat on the premise that he would apologize. He didn’t. Instead, he came in and started yelling at me to get lost and that I was treating him like crap. He threw back in my face that he defends me when people talk trash about me, and he claimed to be the only one who loves me unconditionally.
He told me that he hoped I felt like trash and then slammed the door again.
I went to bed, but not before texting a mutual friend, asking them to check if he was okay.
That was 5 days ago, and I hadn’t heard anything from him so I decided to message him today saying I hope we can talk.
He replied back saying that I need to sort out my crap, and that what I did was messed up. Am I really the jerk here?”
The other person you need to sort out is the "friend" who let him into your home after you'd already said he wasn't welcome to stay. S/he had no business going against your word and letting the @$$hole into your home after you'd already said no, and I think you should let him/her know that and that you expect an apology from them, too.
Sorry, but you need better friends.
24. AITJ For Not Helping My Ex Lose Weight?
“My ex and I broke up last January, we were together for 6 years.
This past April, she called me out of the blue and told me she’s never been heavier weight-wise, she hated being ‘morbidly obese’ which I guess she figured out by crunching her numbers, she hated that her close friends and family won’t give her the honest truth, and she asked me to help her lose weight.
I’m not trained in anything, and I asked her why she wasn’t going to pros with this. She said it was because we already know each other, she knows I work out every day and eat right, and she figured I’d do it for free.
I agreed to do it, I wanted to help her and see her get healthier. At the same time though, I asked that she really commit to this and I told her I’d be holding her accountable.
Again, I’m not a pro trainer, a doctor, or a nutritionist, so my ideas for her were basic, like walking every evening, or, at least aiming for 5x a week, eating foods that fill you up faster, like low-fat peanut butter, things like that.
She did well for about a week, but then, it seemed like as I kept seeing her, she always looked slightly bigger than she did when I saw her last, she was more winded than last time, things like that. I gave her the benefit of the doubt that maybe she was tired that day, maybe she looked bigger because of her water weight.
When she invited me to her place last week, I saw the truth. Her pantry, freezer, and fridge were all chocked full of bad food. She came out and told me she was up 27 pounds. It absolutely blindsided and depleted me. I told her that because of this, it felt like she’d just wasted my time by asking me to help her, just for her to go and pack on weight.
I told her I was done. She told me that if I stop helping her she’ll binge eat for comfort. I told her she’s already been binging this whole time. She berated me for quitting on her.
AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Not Refunding A Regular Customer's Wrong Order?
“So I (22 F) work in a coffee shop. One of our regular customers is a woman we’ll call K. K works in a salon just down the road and she usually comes in every single morning, then during the day she usually sends her clients to pick up drinks before starting whatever service.
K has a pretty specific coffee order (single shot skinny vanilla latte, no froth) and she always gets the same.
So a few weeks ago, K came into the store raging. She said that her last five drinks had been wrong and demanded a refund.
I was confused because I remember K as her order is so specific and so it is quite rare for me to have to ask what she’s getting, let alone make it wrong.
K explained the issues arose with drinks her clients were getting for her – and as she was at work she could not return them.
I agreed to give her a refund this time but explained as nicely as possible to K that I didn’t think K’s clients were always ordering correctly. We serve so many takeaway vanilla lattes during the day that if a woman who is not K orders a ‘vanilla latte’ with another drink and doesn’t state the details K wants, we don’t KNOW how to make it into K’s drink.
I suggested that it might be beneficial for K to ensure her clients write down her specific requests on their phone before they go order so they will definitely order the correct thing, or that she could text them the order.
A few weeks passed and K came into the store again, raging.
She announced she was fuming because another load of her drinks had been made wrong, including one having ginger which she never had. She accused us of being incredibly inconsistent, wanted her money back, and threatened to take her business elsewhere.
I had been on shift the day one the ginger latte had actually been ordered and remembered it as we don’t sell many – it’s unusual. I hadn’t been on till but I’d overheard the client ask for a ‘ginger latte’ with her drink, and other baristas backed me up by saying that incorrect drinks had been asked for which at the time they didn’t realize were for K.
I tried to explain to K that although I was sorry and understood it was annoying for her, it is our job as workers to make the drink which is ordered. If her clients are not ordering the correct drink, it is important for her to make sure they’re aware of her preferences.
I told her I would not authorize another refund as she’d already been warned of the issue.
K went off on me saying how ridiculous it was for me not to refund her when she’d received an incorrect order. However, none of the errors in question were errors by the staff serving her and we’d tried to give her tips on how to sort the problem.
It’s incredibly detrimental to the business for us to keep giving huge refunds when she’s not doing anything to sort the issue out herself (not giving clients clearer instructions or telling them to write the order down) so was I the jerk for not giving the refund?”
22. AITJ For Not Wanting My Baby Daddy In The Delivery Room When I Give Birth?
“So I (20 F) was in a relationship with my ex (23 M) when I became pregnant with his baby unexpectedly and we’re both in college and after I broke the news to him he started an argument saying I was purposely trying to ruin his future but I explained it was both our mistake and that I wasn’t the only one to blame here since it takes two to tango.
He then asked if I was willing to keep the baby and I told him yes because of my religious background. He begged me to terminate the pregnancy, saying this baby would ruin our lives but I stood my ground telling him I was having this baby whether he liked it or not.
A week later he sat me down and told me he was breaking up with me and moving in with his ex and that he didn’t want to be in the baby’s life since I chose to be selfish and heartless. Even though the news broke me I told him that was fine and he left.
I’m now in 3rd trimester and haven’t spoken to my ex since he broke up with me and he cut off contact with me and blocked me on all social media. Even though it was a tough decision I decided it was the best and left him alone.
Recently he unblocked me and messaged me asking when I was due and I told him in a couple of weeks but it can happen anytime. He then gave me his new phone number and told me to call him when I was going into labor so he could be in the room, I informed him that he would not be in the delivery room and that I had already chosen my sister to be in the room with me and she has been there for me emotionally and physically ever since I found out I was pregnant and since I’m only allowed to have one person with me due to restrictions in our state.
He then flipped out and called me asking who I thought I was denying him access to see his baby being born and I was appalled by his audacity to think he had a say in this after abandoning me and his unborn child and informed him that he literally cut all contact with me and that he doesn’t even know the gender why would he thought he deserved to be in the room while I delivery MY baby since he decided he would not be a father once the baby was born.
He then started calling me selfish and cruel and asking how I could do this to him and that he had changed his mind and at least wanted to see the birth of his child I got furious and proceeded to hang up on him and blocked his number
Now his partner and family are spam-calling me begging me to let him see the birth of his first child because this would be a big moment for him and now I’m having doubts about denying him this once-in-a-lifetime experience.
So… AITJ?”
He has no rights AT ALL until the baby is born, and even then he will have to go to court for them AND pay child support.
21. AITJ For Getting Sick Of Feeding My Partner's Kids?
“Summer break started last Friday for my partner of 3 years’ kids.
This is the first year that we have lived together and he had the kids every other weekend up until summer; which is now week on week off. His kids are 11m, 10m, and 6f.
On the weekends that they were here prior to school, they were eating easily 4 meals a day with snacks between.
Their dad was here on weekends so he was the one in charge of the cooking and whatever but I’m the one who buys groceries (bills are split 50/50). So on the weekends that the kids were here, they easily ate enough food for 5 days’ worth of meals.
Now they have been here since Monday and I have gone through $450 worth of food. I made a big breakfast this morning with pancakes, eggs, sausage, bacon AND biscuits, and gravy. Their plates were mounded over. I go into the office to clock in for my shift and within not even 45 minutes they are in the office saying they are ‘starving’ and asking if they can have snacks.
Literally every 30 to 45 minutes they are complaining of needing food. Just today they had that massive breakfast, two sandwiches, AND a huge salad for lunch, they have gone through a bag of cereal, like 3 single bags of ramen, granola bars, and a bag of apples, and now they are asking me for eggs!
I told them no because I’m going to be making dinner soon and they are straight up sulking right now saying they are hungry. There is NO way!
I brought this to their mom’s attention because it’s costing me so much money at this point and she went to have them tested for parasites or worms; both came back negative.
He said it’s possibly a growth spurt but they have been like this for as long as I’ve known them. So I just called my partner because these kids are literally biting at my ankles to feed them and I’m honestly just beyond fed up right now because like I said, every 30 to 45 minutes I’m getting harped on for food so I’ve had my work day interrupted over 30 times today.
I told my partner that not only is he going to have to start chipping in for food but he’s going to have to find other accommodations for his kids because I’m not watching them if they are going to be like this all summer.
I have work to do and I don’t have the patience to be interrupted hundreds of times for food. He says I’m being overly hostile and that I need to ‘get over’ the fact that his kids are eating and says I’m acting like I would rather they not eat anything.
He says I picked a fight. Which I didn’t. Maybe my tone was off, not sure. But I’ve also gotten jack all done today because these kids won’t stop asking for food and start freaking out if I say no. AITJ?”
20. WIBTJ If I Do Not Want To Exercise?
“My (19 f) mom is demanding that I hop on the treadmill for a minimum of one hour every single day.
She says she doesn’t care how quickly I walk/run as long as I’m getting exercise in and burning some calories.
Here’s why I have a slight issue with this demand:
Firstly, I just started a new summer job at a deli where I spend 8+ hours a day running around cleaning, slicing meats and cheeses, serving food, and just helping customers all around.
I feel like the cleaning alone burns enough calories. Not to mention that this is the first job I’ve had in a while (I didn’t work while in school) so I’ve gotten unused to standing for such long periods of time, so when I get home my feet always feel like they’re about to fall off and my ankles are always ridiculously swollen.
I feel like hopping on the treadmill for an hour before work (I work the closing shift) will make the pain worse, and selfishly, I don’t want to do that.
My biggest issue though is the reason why my mom is so adamant that I exercise.
For context: I’m perfectly healthy (I’m hesitant to add my measurements but I’m relatively thin, just not toned, I’m simply ‘soft’ as my mom would say). My mom’s dad (my grandpa) is incredibly obese and has several health issues because of it, my mom claims she doesn’t want me to end up like him once my metabolism slows down.
(to reiterate, I’m perfectly healthy, as said by any doctor who’s ever seen me and anyone with eyes honestly).
My mom has always been weird about my body and weight. Since I turned 13, she’s become incredibly vigilant about what I eat (I can only have candy/sweets once a week, no carbs during dinner, can’t eat past 9 pm, I’m only allowed the very occasional snack so long as it’s a healthy one, and she also regulates portion sizes for me – which means no seconds, ever).
This resulted in me having a very difficult relationship with food, I don’t have an eating disorder, but I do sometimes cry out of frustration due to never being allowed to give into any of my cravings (which I try to keep to myself because my mom gets upset if she sees me cry about that sort of thing).
She’s also always made comments like ‘You could have such a great body if you worked for it’ which make me feel bad about myself (often resulting in me hiding my body at the pool for example, resulting in more comments along the lines of ‘if you worked out you wouldn’t be so embarrassed to show yourself off’).
I know one hour on the treadmill isn’t a big ask, she’s honestly demanded a lot more in terms of workouts in the past which is why I’m hesitant in my refusal, but I really really don’t want to do it.
So WIBTJ if I really did refuse? Or should I just suck it up and do it anyway?”
19. AITJ For Calling My Vegan Niece A Hypocrite?
“My (40 F) family on my mom’s side is huge. She has seven brothers and sisters, who all have children and grandchildren. We haven’t seen much of each, so when restrictions got lifted we immediately planned a large family weekend at a beach ranch-type thingie.
That was this past weekend.
All was well and good. I spent the first few hours catching up with nieces, nephews, aunts, and uncles. Enter my grand niece, Rose (27 F, my niece’s daughter). Now apparently, since we last met, Rose has decided to become vegan.
Fine by me girl, you do you. However…
When she arrived, she joined our large group that was sitting on the grass, catching up. We knew she had become vegan within five minutes because when someone offered her a drink, she immediately mentioned it. And mentioned it.
And mentioned it again. Quote: ‘Oh, no Tropicana for me! It’s not vegan you know. The color you’re all drinking, you know what that’s made of? Beetles. So many beetles are killed for just a color. But I mean, if you guys don’t care about that, that’s fine.’ I noticed I wasn’t the only one getting a bit annoyed, with some of my cousins exchanging glances and rolling their eyes.
This continued for the rest of the day.
Now here’s what happened: the next day, our group went on a little bit of a trek and we ended up in a beautiful field where we decided to sit down and eat our lunch. As is to be expected, nature plus food equals insects.
At one point, Rose is waving away some flying bug but it keeps coming back. She’s dodging her head and trying to keep her food out of reach only for it to land on her arm. And then she smacked it and wiped it off.
I couldn’t resist, honestly. I made a shocked sound and said ‘Oh no, what did you do? Did you kill it? How could you kill it?’ People were all looking now, so she started backtracking, saying that it was just a mosquito and mosquitos can carry dangerous diseases.
‘But all animals can carry diseases, Rose. Would you be okay with killing all bats because they often carry rabies? That’s not very vegan of you. Did you know only pregnant, female mosquitos bite? You just killed an expecting mother and her unborn mosquito children.’
She told me I was being ridiculous.
‘Well, I think you’re being a hypocrite.’
She told me to go screw myself.
After that, she stormed off. We finished our lunch and eventually made our way back where my mother angrily asked me what happened with Rose.
Apparently, she had made a big spectacle about leaving because ‘she was being unfairly treated as a vegan’. After I told my mom what happened, she laughed but said I should have just kept my mouth shut and been the adult. My niece (her mother) and my aunt are mad at me.
I know I definitely wasn’t the adult in that situation, but WIBTJ?”
18. AITJ For Walking Out Of A Family Vacation?
“I’m the oldest of three, and left for vacation in Europe from the USA with my siblings and parents in June.
My family and I don’t really have a good relationship.
It’s gotten a lot better since I was 22 (when I stopped drinking), but I feel like mostly my family doesn’t want to grow out of our old patterns of relating to each other from when I sucked to be around. I definitely deserved the punishments I got as a kid and teen because I was really hard to control and didn’t like to listen to my parents, and also did a lot of sneaky things and got angry when I didn’t get my way.
Mostly it’s calmed down because I’m not that bad now. But I was hesitant to go on the trip but decided to last month. But the whole trip my siblings kept picking on me and I got fed up and decided to leave the day before my 30th birthday.
The comment that I chose to leave after was as we were sitting down for lunch. We were at a restaurant with the menu written on the wall so when my sister and dad stood up to go look at it, I asked my sister to take a picture with my phone so I could look from the table instead of crowding the couple sitting in front of the menu.
My sister did take my phone and take the picture, but when she came back said ‘Just because we’re in a castle it doesn’t make you a princess.’ The comment wasn’t really a huge deal, it’s not that mean, I had just been asking all week for her and her twin to please stop being so rude and sarcastic and snippy towards me.
The comments make me very sad and feel unloved because I definitely don’t have friends that speak to me like that and that’s why I don’t like when they do it.
I excused myself from lunch and said I was going to eat somewhere else alone.
Then I went back to our hotel, packed my bags, and booked a train ticket elsewhere. I was mostly calm but my mom called me at one point and I raised my voice on the phone when she said I should just learn not to react and that it wasn’t fair that I was blaming her for the twins’ actions.
I told her it’s ridiculous that I’m 30 and am getting bullied by my siblings because whenever I react, I get yelled at instead of my folks telling my siblings to stop.
I don’t know. I just felt like if I’m being so bad that they want to be mean to me and ignore me when I ask to be nice, then I should just leave.
If I am making them so upset to make snide comments, then they would be happier without me.
My parents and siblings say I ruined the trip. My dad says he’s very disappointed that it had to turn out this way. But I feel like it didn’t have to turn out that way, and if I had been treated with the basic level of respect I was looking for, then I wouldn’t have been feeling like I (and they!) would have been happier if I weren’t around.
AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Calling The Cops To Get My Ex Out Of My House?
“I (28 M) have a 6-year-old son with my ex Jamie (29 F). We had been together since our senior year of high school and have always been best friends. With a lot of respect for each other. So much in fact that she knows my garage code.
I work late and she was always welcome to hang out at my house with our son. She has a guest room that she will stay in. I think it’s important to my son that we have a good dynamic so she will stay the night once a week.
We’ve been split up for 4 years. This was due to both of us. I felt like she was getting too close to this dude she knew and she was emotionally invested in him. She wanted to get married and felt like I was noncommittable.
Those issues festered into the breakup. We did make a few mistakes. She would come over at night to see our son. After we put him to bed we would sit on the porch and drink wine. We have hooked up a few times since the split.
But purely in a ‘friends with benefits’ type of thing. Nothing romantic.
I recently started going out with other women and brought my new girl Chloe (24 F) to meet Jamie. I learned that Jamie and Chloe had beef. They were ice cold to each other the whole time.
The next day Jamie called me saying Chloe was ‘bad news’. I asked what she heard. She said that Chloe had tried to ‘steal’ another woman’s kid. The story was that Chloe was going out with another dad and tried to force the kid away from their mom.
She slid in as the ‘mom’ and acted like it was her kid. Jamie is friends with this dudes ex-wife. So she had a 1 sided view of the story. I told her that if I saw anything like this then I would end it. But for right now Chloe seemed great.
Jamie didn’t like that and threatened to not let my son over to my house anymore. We have a formal custody agreement and I reminded her of that. I said that she wasn’t allowed over anymore until she learned to accept it.
Chloe and I decided to go out with some friends on Tuesday.
I hired a neighbor girl to babysit. When we get back guess who is sitting in my living room. I told Chloe to go to the bedroom with my son. And I asked Jamie what she was doing in my house. She said that she needed to speak to me.
I said, ‘Get out of my house’. Reminded her that she wasn’t supposed to be in here without my permission. She said that she had the right to see her son since we ‘pawned him off’ on a babysitter. And she had every right to parent him since I wasn’t.
I told her to leave again and she refused. Saying we all needed to have a talk. I didn’t want to deal with it anymore so I called the police. They showed up and removed Jamie from my house. She started balling the minute the cops showed up.
Our son heard her crying and I guess heard her being led away and saw the cop cars. I didn’t press any charges. I just wanted her removed before anything happened. I changed the garage code. I didn’t pursue charges. But I texted her saying I would bring this up in any custody hearing going forward.
She and her parents are saying I’m a jerk. Who traumatized my son for no reason. I think maybe I overreacted. AITJ?”
You also need to be clear on the fact that you two are co-parents rather than a couple, and you will never be a couple again, so no more hooking up just because it's convenient for you.
16. AITJ For Not Wanting To Stick My Arm Into A Dirty Toilet?
“I’m a personal care aide two days a week. This particular 67-year-old woman has some psychological issues and some physical ailments as well, but she’s able to do pretty much everything on her own – she mainly needs a PCA for running errands around town, household chores, and gardening.
We’ve worked together for months pretty jovially/without incident until today… She had asked me to clean her bathroom and kitchen for her because she hadn’t been able to in a year (no big deal, that’s part of the job!).
1st this woman doesn’t really believe in harsh chemicals, so she uses only vinegar solution and has a little bit of Comet to clean her bathroom.
She handed me a pair of gloves and ONE green Brillo pad and said ‘I have very high expectations, I expect it to be spic and span’. This toilet was brown on the inside… the rest of the bathroom was also filthy, but the toilet was a nightmare.
I asked if she had a toilet bowl scrubber and she said ‘That’s what the gloves and the Brillo are for’ and she was already starting to get worked up. I was thinking this witch is crazy if wants me to use this one Brillo pad and vinegar to clean the whole bathroom, and also use the same pad and stick my arm in the bowl and scrub down cakes of crap and brown gunk.
I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that and I would happily run to Dollar General and grab some supplies and she threw a FIT! She was like ‘I don’t understand! What’s the big deal? I don’t like the energy between us right now!
I’m your boss so I can tell you to do this! It won’t work for me for you to run to the store!’ I was 100% not sucking my arm in that toilet and I would rather quit than be forced to do something without the supplies that made me comfortable which I was happy to run out and get on my own dime.
I just cleaned everything else spotless and told her I wouldn’t do the inside of the toilet and she was mad but was like fine. I have to know AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Raising My Voice At My Sister-In-Law For Questioning My Parenting?
“I (35 f) have lived abroad for over 5 years now. The reason I left my country was partially because of my family (not bad people, just difficult to deal with their judgy attitude towards, well, everything), partially because I wanted to change something and see another country (never left the country before nor lived far my family ever).
Shortly after I arrived here, I met my partner (37 m) who’s a great guy, good to me, and a good person in general.
Our relationship evolved very well, we moved together, 2 years later we went together to my country, everybody loved him even if he didn’t speak the language yet.
When we returned from our holiday, we found out we were expecting a baby. Happy happy, joy joy, as we have been trying for 8 months already.
Everything went well, and we had our baby girl, but when 2020 started, we couldn’t go back to my country so my family could meet her, for over 2 years.
They saw her through the magic of the internet, which was great.
Anyway, this year we could finally go, and I was so happy I was gonna see them, they gonna see my girl… what could go wrong, right? Well, not really… My SIL kept trying to educate my 2-year-old, tried to potty train her (which I still struggle to do), how to sit, where to sit in front of the TV, what to eat (why she’s not eating that, try giving her that… try, try, give give, even when my girl completely refused).
So, what did I do? I raised my voice at her and at my dad who backed her up, saying if I’m not ferm with her, she’s gonna control me(?). Yeah, so that’s what I did wrong, I raised my voice at my SIL and my dad… a thing that nobody saw/heard me doing before.
Dad was surprised, and backed down a bit, let me be, but my SIL? Oh no, she kept going on and on then she left the room.
After maybe 10 minutes, I went to her and apologized for raising my voice, but not for staying my ground.
She proceeded to tell me that she never raised her voice at me (what about her superior attitude?) and that with my protective attitude towards my daughter, I WILL RUIN HER. I let her be at that moment, but the next day she did it again and so did I to which she told me ‘This is the second time you raised your voice at me’ (OMG, really?
So what, am I grounded?).
Anyway, each time I apologized for raising my voice, but I stood my ground. After another day, we had a big argument, with my brother also being involved, they said things, I said things, and then I revealed to them that every day since I arrived, I cried to which they said it was my own fault for being too sensitive…
We’re back home now, and I’m ok with my mom and dad (again), I spoke briefly to my brother, and briefly to my SIL, and they still think I was a jerk… before the holiday, I was talking to my SIL at least once a week, I used to think we were kinda close… now she’s keeping the distance.
Was I really the jerk? I apologized for my voice being raised 3 times, my apologies were kinda rejected so I don’t know…”
14. AITJ For Not Liking My Daughter's Fiance?
“My daughter Kacey (18) has been in a relationship with Jack (20) for a year. He was held back twice in his school career, which allowed him and Kacey to meet at school last year.
Jack is seriously immature, has a history of delinquency, and displays behaviors that I believe are emotionally abusive. He often makes Kacey responsible for his happiness and if she doesn’t meet his demands, he throws a temper tantrum. I’ve kicked him out of my home twice because of incidents like this, he is no longer welcome.
I tried to be supportive while pointing out subtle red flags I wanted Kacey to be aware of. I knew if I said I didn’t like him or wanted their relationship to end it would only drive her further into his arms. Over this past summer, they’ve spent a lot of time together and talks of marriage began.
That’s when I put on the breaks and told her that I expected her to get a good education (that I would fully pay for) before she got married.
I told her that I wanted her to have a means to get a good job and a sense of independence before she tied the knot.
I also don’t want her to get trapped in a bad relationship because she has no real means of supporting herself. I explained that I’d be more than willing to contribute to her wedding once she becomes a university graduate (I also hoped that giving her some time to grow, learn, and mature would eventually open her eyes to what a bum Jack is).
Kacey told me that she no longer wanted to go to college (just before the summer she was excited to apply to universities) and she would rather live with Jack while he learns from his cousin how to do tattoo art. We had an argument, Kacey wants to assert her independence as a new adult and I want her to have a fruitful and financially secure future.
Unbeknownst to me, they’ve been secretly making wedding plans. They realized that a normal wedding venue was far outside their budget, so they opted to rent out a local kid’s karate dojo under the guise of a birthday party and have the wedding reception there.
Kacey dropped the bomb on me and her dad today, the ‘venue’ is officially booked for a month from now. I was stunned. When my husband asked what they’d be doing for music, catering, seating, wardrobe, and decorations Kacey said she was ‘still working it out’.
I told her that I would not be attending, not because I didn’t love and support her but because I couldn’t bear to watch my only child marry a na’er-do-well that treats her poorly at a half-baked ceremony all whilst throwing her future away so she could follow around an aspiring tattoo artist with no real ambition of her own.
I told her that college would always still be on the table for her, but I would not financially support her if she decided to move in with Jack.
I desperately need some unbiased opinions because I feel this situation could seriously damage our relationship and her future.
AITJ for not attending her makeshift wedding and supporting her choice of partner?”
13. AITJ For Not Wanting My Mother-In-Law To Come Dress-Shopping With Us?
“I (25 F) have been with my fiancé J (26 M) for 6 years and engaged for almost a year and we are planning the wedding. My mother and future MIL DO NOT GET ALONG.
We’ve mostly kept them apart for the last couple of years. Usually celebrating holidays and such twice instead of one big celebration. While I love them both they have clashing personalities and come from different worlds. Anytime they are in the same room it’s an argument and it never goes well.
It usually ends with me having a headache.
On to why I may be the jerk. I was discussing with J and his sister S (30 f) over lunch about dress shopping and how I’m thinking of leaving out my future MIL on the day of and only taking along with my bridal party, my mother.
I explained it was because my mom knows my style better and will give me positive criticism while MIL can be harsh with her words at times but S told me that wasn’t fair because her mom was looking forward to helping me pick a dress and has as much of a right to be apart of the dress hunting as my mom and that my mom should be excluded if they really can’t be in the same room because MIL has more experience with dress shopping.
(She’s had 3 children get married while I’m my mother’s first child to be married). I explained while I would love her and my mother together there, it just wouldn’t work. I don’t want to be stressed or overwhelmed with them arguing.
I felt as if while she didn’t necessarily agree she understood.
A couple of days passed and I had a brunch meeting with MIL, a day before the brunch I got a call from MIL saying she was hurt I didn’t want to bring her along, and that she wouldn’t come to the wedding until I agreed to bring her along dress shopping.
She was told by her daughter S, I told her that I wanted to break the news to her over brunch and that S had no right to tell her before I got to explain my reasonings. She countered that I had days to break it to her but I told her I wanted to do it in person and not over the phone.
She called me a brat and said S isn’t the problem I am for not having a backbone hung up. Now I’m getting calls from my fiancé’s siblings saying I hurt MIL’s feelings and that I had no right to exclude her from dress shopping.
I felt that I made the best decision for me and my wedding dress shopping but now am questioning if I was wrong for cutting her out.
I talked to J about it and he’s on my side saying it’s my day so I can have whoever I want, but some of my friends are saying I should be an adult and exclude both mothers but I really want my mom there while other friends are saying I can have who I want there.
So AITJ for thinking of not inviting my future MIL dress shopping.”
12. AITJ For Bringing My Sister's Framed Skeleton To My Mom's House?
“I (16 f) have a sister named Allie (18 f) who is on the spectrum. Allie and I are wildly different people, and we don’t have a lot in common, but she’s always there to listen when I need someone to vent to or willing to help me with my schoolwork bc she’s so much better at academic stuff than I am lol.
I like listening to her talk about her interests too because she just knows so much, I don’t know how she retains all that information.
One of Allie’s special interests has always been oddities and curiosities. She likes pinned insects, fossils, bones, things like that.
She has a whole shelf of stuff like it in her rooms at our mom’s and dad’s houses.
Our mom very much hates it. I think she just finds bugs and bones creepy or something, so she’s so strict about Allie keeping her stuff contained only in her room.
She hasn’t banned her from talking about it or anything but she always tells Allie how weird it is or she’ll sort of joke about it and call her odd. Allie has never said that stuff bothered her, but still, I feel like it sucks to have your mom talk down on you/what you like.
I got a job this year, so I was able to get Allie this framed bat skeleton for Christmas. My mom asked what I was getting Allie beforehand, so I told her, and then she said that I wasn’t allowed to buy Allie that because she didn’t want it in her house so I’d had to get her something else.
I asked why it wouldn’t be allowed in the house and she said because it’s creepy/weird.
I bought the skeleton anyway, so when Allie opened it today my mom started to get annoyed but before she said anything I told my sister that it would look really cool next to this poster she has in her room at our dad’s house.
Allie agreed and said she’d keep it over there since that’s where most of her other bat things are anyway.
When we were getting ready to leave and go to our dad’s, Mom pulled me aside and lectured me for purposely ignoring her rules and going against what she’d told me to do.
I said that I didn’t break any rules and that the framed bat wasn’t going to hurt anyone even if it was at her house. She’s still upset so now she’s saying I’m grounded when I get back.
I told my dad about it and he said that he agreed that I didn’t technically break mom’s rule (and he doesn’t really agree with the rule either), but I knew what I was doing and I did disobey her wishes + he can’t just ‘unground’ me when I go over there.
I haven’t told Allie I’m in trouble or anything. She likes the bat so I’m glad about that, I just feel a little guilty now because I knew that getting it would make my mom upset and I knew what she meant by her ‘rules’ but I went around them anyway.
I don’t know, I just wanted to ask here and get opinions from unbiased sources, you know?”
11. AITJ For Getting Upset At My Sister For Sharing Her Son's Milestone After I Shared The News About My Miscarriage?
“My (F 21) sister (29) and I have never been particularly close, but we always got along. I was always closer to my brothers; she was closer to our parents.
However, Sabrina lives very close to my college so we’ve hung out a bit more in the last few months.
Sabrina has a 10-year-old son, Isaac, from a previous relationship (he left after she told him she was pregnant). Isaac is autistic and nonverbal but is still a sweet kid.
A few days ago, it was his 10th birthday and my sister invited basically our whole family to come, myself included. She is extremely proud of Isaac and documents/describes to us his every move (everything is another ‘first’).
A few weeks before the party, Isaac said his first word.
Obviously, my sister documented this and told everyone and we were all very excited. He has said a couple more leading up to the party, even saying my name when I was out to dinner with him and his mother. I was thrilled.
A few weeks ago as well, I found out I was pregnant with my longtime partner’s baby.
I was ecstatic and told my entire family including my sister. However, the day before my nephew’s birthday party, I miscarried and was absolutely devastated. However, I still decided to go to Isaac’s party since I knew it was important to him that I was there.
After the party was over so as to not take away Isaac’s party, I told my family privately about my miscarriage, my sister included. She was shocked but looked angrier than upset with me. She then proceeded to tell my entire family about how her son had called her mom the other day for the first time and glared at me the entire time.
Everyone flocked to her, which I didn’t mind, but I hated the constant reminder of what I could’ve had and I just didn’t understand why. I confronted her about it afterward, and she said I deserved it for even mentioning my miscarriage on Isaac’s birthday, even though the party had ended, and that she was just ‘stealing back the thunder that I had stolen from her’.
So, AITJ?”
10. AITJ For Not Inviting My Partner To Come To My Birthday Party Again?
“It was my birthday last week and despite a lot of work, I decided to arrange a small party for my closest friends, around 10 people or so.
It was fairly last minute, so many friends couldn’t come, and I was very understanding because we’re all adults with hectic lives.
I had previously spoken to my partner about throwing a small get-together on that specific date and had invited him in real life.
Later, I even texted him the exact time and place, saying he was very welcome to come. We hadn’t been together for long, so it would have been the first time he would meet some of my friends.
He responded he had other plans that evening, which secretly kind of hurt me, but I didn’t let him know, because again: we’re all adults, and I knew I was overreacting for being hurt.
So I just wished him a nice time with his plans and said that the door was open in case he changed his mind. I honestly figured that maybe he felt nervous about meeting many new people at once, and didn’t want to push him.
Fast forward to a few days later, we have a date, and he seems very distant and upset. I asked him what was wrong, and turns out he was angry at me for not asking him to come to my party again after he had said he had plans.
He thought I ‘accepted’ his plans too fast, and that if I really liked him, I would have fought for him to come. He says I’m too self-centered and cannot consider other people, and it’s gotten under my skin.”
9. AITJ For Going To My Ex's Little Brother's Baseball Game?
“I had been with my ex, Emily, for 6 years (we’re both 23). The breakup was messy and hard on both sides, with lots of arguing towards the end as things kept getting worse and worse.
We broke up at the beginning of April. There’s no love lost between Emily and me, we both deeply dislike each other now.
While I was with Emily I became pretty close with her little brother, Tommy. Tommy was 8 when I first met him, and he’s 15 now.
I think one of the reasons why we didn’t break up sooner on my end was because I was so close to Tommy. I took Tommy to the movies, baseball/football games, NASCAR races, and concerts every now and then, if I was doing something with my friends where they were bringing their little brothers I would bring Tommy.
I have an older sister, and Tommy has Emily and another older sister, so I think both of us wanted a brother. I also note Emily and Tommy;’s Dad was not around, and they didn’t have a stepfather, so I also think Tommy was looking for someone to talk about guy stuff with sometimes.
Tommy plays baseball, and when I was able I used to go to his games (so I went to most of them). I and one or two of my friends would go and cheer him on. Tommy’s mom and sisters usually didn’t go, with all of them usually working during game time.
Tommy took Emily and I’s breakup really hard. He actually blocked me on social media after we told him. I hadn’t seen or spoken to Tommy since April when we told him, and then last week he texted me asking if I would come to his baseball game.
I told him it would probably be awkward for Emily to have me there at the same time, but he said that she told him she couldn’t make it because she was busy. So I told him I would come.
When I showed up he ran over and gave me a hug and was pretty emotional, which is unlike him, but he said he was just so happy I was there.
He played a great game, and we were talking afterward and he was saying how much he missed me, and being able to talk to me about stuff, and I told him he was free to reach out whenever.
Then Emily showed up at the game, apparently, she didn’t know I was coming until one of her friends told her I was talking to Tommy.
She was mad at me for being at the game, yelled at me for talking to her family and using her brother, and told me to leave all of them alone. She told me I was a jerk for showing up and still involving myself in her family.
My friends all agree with her. I just keep thinking about the 15-year-old who almost cried he was so happy to have someone there to cheer for him. AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Not Wanting To Continue Our Family Business?
“I (M 25, with autism) am part of the traveling fairground community, we go around Scotland setting up things like Rollercoasters, Dodgems, and stalls so the public can have a fun day out.
The thing is though, I hate it all. I’ve lived my entire life being dragged from place to place by my parents to the point that my education has suffered, I got severely underpaid for the work too at only £50 a week for very infrequent work, I’m constantly yelled at all the time for wanting to listen to my far better music while I work than all the 80s-2000s pop trash the fairs play on loop every day and I hate having to deal with my verbally abusive dad who finds every excuse to make any conversation with me or my mam into an argument.
So why don’t I just quit? Well, due to my awful education, I never learned to save, do a lot of basic household chores like washing clothes, or improve my dreadful qualifications, I went to college for a time, but all my classes were aimed at helping autistic people like myself do a handful of basic things like Maths, English, and cooking, my qualifications never improved much and so, I can’t continue my education properly.
About 4 days ago, my mom told me I was to help my dad do 2 jobs (shift some things from a van to a truck and paint one of the rides) and that’s it, I told her I’ll do the job for £10 per day as if I ask for anything else, she just finds excuses to say its too much even though she literally bought a new kitchen and smart TV last month.
When I got to where my dad was working, I did one of the jobs, but my dad was constantly getting annoyed at me for wanting to listen to music while I worked and added extra jobs on top of the two I’m actually getting paid for.
It’s been 4 days now and he pilled so many extra jobs in the way of me doing one of the jobs I’m supposed to be doing that I just left him there to do them himself.
I’m so tired of this, my family only ever talks about fairground politics and what place we are going to next, I am overworked, underpaid, and expected by everyone to continue the family business, but I don’t want any of it!
I want a real education, I want to create things, I don’t want to be my dad, I want to move out and actually live! Every time I get angry at them for forcing this life on me, I’m told to just suck it up and deal with it.
Am I a jerk for this? For wanting to be able to chase my dreams instead of continuing a dying business?”
7. AITJ For Only Bringing One Of My Kids To "Take Your Kid To Work" Day?
“I have two kids – my biological daughter that I had with my wife, and my stepson.
Let’s call my stepson Michael. My wife was only 18 when she had Michael, and I met her when she was 22, and Michael was 4. She’s in low contact with Michael’s father because she honestly despises him for getting her pregnant, and I can’t really blame her.
She wanted to terminate her pregnancy and the guy told her she should too but she found out she wasn’t allowed because it would cause a lot of health problems. Anyway.
Last week, my workplace announced a ‘take your kid to work day’. I decided to take my daughter and I told my wife the day before the event.
She said to me ‘That’s great and all, but is it alright if you can take Michael?’ I kind of just stood there and said ‘Can’t you?’ My wife is a detective and often works alone in her private study, working on cases.
I offered that Michael could sit beside her while she solves a case or something, or he could go to his real father’s workplace and catch up again.
I didn’t think much of it but my wife said that she would be going to a few important meetings that day and it wouldn’t be fair for Michael just to sit and watch her.
Michael didn’t want to go with his father. Don’t know why, but he just didn’t want to go.
The problem is, me and Michael don’t have a good bond with each other. He’s about 13 and my daughter’s 8. Of course, they get along, but he and I don’t get along at all.
I’m not his father figure and he knew that from the start. I’m really trying my best but that kid just hates me for no reason. He also has bad anger issues that have not been resolved since I came. We really don’t know the reason, but it would cause a problem if he came to work with me.
I’ve stopped trying so hard and I’m just working to be a good dad to my daughter.
Also, even if I did bring him, people would think really weirdly of me because my daughter and stepson look absolutely nothing alike. My daughter looks a lot like me and her mom, while Michael looks like his dad and my wife’s father.
He IS her son, but they don’t look immediately like they’re related, only just a bit. I’m fully Filipino and I have pretty dark skin and darker hair, while Michael is basically the opposite. He has blonde hair, blue eyes, and is really pale.
I ended up not taking Michael to the event and he stayed home alone. My wife had a huge heated argument with me about not taking him. She said that she thought she trusted me to love our children equally enough to let them have fun together, and she thought I viewed Michael as my own son.
I’ve never EVER yelled at my wife before but I had had enough. I told her that Michael was not my responsibility and for her to actually take care of her son for once. I kinda just stood there after saying all that and I only felt bad for yelling at my wife.
I wish we could’ve resolved this calmly but I couldn’t control myself. My wife isn’t talking to me and neither is Michael.
AITJ?”
6. AITJ For Sending My Daughter-In-Law A Personalized Valentine's Gift Basket?
“I (60 f) always send the people I love Valentine’s gifts as in my daughters/nieces/sisters/friends/kids non-binary partners it’s a day about love so why not send someone you care about something nice to let them know you’re thinking about them?
My only son got engaged and moved closer to home last September to a girl I’ll call Alice.
At first, she seemed to not like my 3 daughters and me for some reason even though we haven’t done anything to her.
And no I’ve not been a ‘just no’ mother-in-law.
When my son moved near home we were all too busy with my husband dying and then his funeral, to do anything for her.
Since January I’ve started to get out of my depression (40 years we were married). My daughter-in-law and I started having a relationship.
She told me she didn’t like us because we were basic and I didn’t know what that meant so I just tried to have an interest in what she liked.
Recently I sent out my Valentine’s self-care packages which I carefully packed to each person’s likes.
I went so far as to send my gender-fluid niece two both male/female baskets and my oldest daughter’s partner nothing gendered as they are nonbinary then some of my friends anti-Valentine’s Day themed gifts.
I had not had a bad review yet until I sent my daughter-in-law’s out and within a day I had my son screaming down the phone calling me a weirdo and how inappropriate I was being that I made my daughter-in-law uncomfortable to the point she doesn’t want to be around me.
I tried to explain that he knows I do this with everyone including him and his sisters but he said I should have asked rather than being a complete weirdo.”
5. AITJ For Not Wanting My Friend To Be My Baby's Godmother Anymore?
“Around 7 months ago, I (27 F) found out I was pregnant. I had not intended to start a family so early, and even though I initially felt like all my plans had been thrown off, my husband (29 M) and I decided to embrace the pregnancy and keep the baby (gender will be a surprise.) From the start of this, my very close friend (27 F), who we’ll call Jen, has been trying to convince me to terminate my pregnancy.
I almost agreed with her in the beginning, with it being such a big shock for me, but even after deciding to go through with the pregnancy, she continued. Every time we were together she’d find a way to bring up how I would be throwing away my career (I’m planning to stay home, at least when the child is young) and that I went to college and grad school for nothing.
When I told Jen that my husband and I were looking for a house outside of the city, she got upset and accused my husband of coercing me into ‘being a suburban housewife,’ even though we made the decision together as 2+ bedroom apartments in the city are expensive and we could have much more space with a house.
We would also be very close to my parents, who wanted to help with babysitting if we were busy or if I decided later to go back to work. By this time, I was getting a bit ticked off with her not just questioning, but outright condemning my personal decisions.
I’m not a confrontational person and just quipped that she had obviously watched Revolutionary Road far too many times and asked to change the subject.
As my baby shower came around, Jen appeared to accept things and almost seemed happy for me. Since we were so close I was considering making her the child’s godmother.
When she and I were out to brunch one day, she casually made a remark along the lines of ‘If you’re so pro-life, you could just have the baby and give it up for adoption.’ I doubt she was serious, but I found myself getting very upset and raising my voice as I told her that she needed to leave it alone.
I have no idea why she tried making it political because it had nothing to do with being pro-life or pro-choice, but rather me simply deciding I wanted to have the baby. I told her to apologize but she refused, and things ended with me telling her to get a life, and that she’d have no part in my child’s life and leaving the restaurant.
We haven’t talked since then, and although I feel like I was a bit cruel, I think it would make me feel uncomfortable for the woman who pressured me to terminate my pregnancy being the baby’s godmother and being around him or her at all.
My husband actually thinks I should ‘be the bigger person and apologize’, which kind of surprised me to be honest since he knows what she said about him. He says that Jen means well but doesn’t know when enough is enough and that she and I shouldn’t throw away our years of friendship.
Was I too cruel to her? Should I apologize or at least try to talk civilly with her about it?”
4. AITJ For Grieving My Grandma's Death?
“I am chronically ill and disabled to boot. My grandmother passed away very suddenly. My family is heavily influenced by religious traditions, so our mourning might be considered a smidge… odd. For example, when we were at her bedside, we quietly sang her favorite hymns to her in the hospital. When she passed, we prayed. My family’s version of mourning involved a lot of hugging, hand-holding, and reminiscing.
My grandpa has spent a half-century with her. His breakdown is completely understandable. My husband was horribly uncomfortable. I told him he didn’t have to join, but he had to be respectful which has never been a problem.
Here’s the issue: On the way home from the hospital, he went down the list of how he’d seen my family grieve that night and told me all about how they were all wrong, eerie, and morbid.
I explained this was how we coped and we made sure not to disturb others. When we got home, I broke down. I cried softly for about ten minutes before he told me that l should stop and go to sleep.
The next morning, he said he was going to be more supportive and would be there for me.
Yesterday morning, I woke up and it all finally sunk in, my grandma was gone. It hurts and I feel empty. I didn’t cry or make a big scene, just tried to handle household stuff.
When he woke up, he said ‘What’s wrong with you?’ I was shocked and told him I was still grieving.
He got mad and asked me why when I cried about it already. I told him that was hardly fair because when I started crying, he immediately told me I needed to stop.
He told me that it had been three days and as far as he was concerned, the only one who had the right to be torn up was my grandpa.
He said he needed to walk away from me while he calmed down from my drama.
He eventually came back. I immediately apologized. I told him I’ve felt very alone and his critique of my family’s mourning made me self-conscious about grieving in front of him.
He apologized to me saying it hurt watching my grandpa be sad because he could see himself in the same position as me one day. He wanted to make up for it by being there if I needed him. I didn’t respond to his apology because it felt like he was easing his guilt, not making amends.
I can’t forget that he told me I should be over this already, and now I feel like I’m being unreasonable.
AITJ for not getting over my grandma’s death after three days?”
3. AITJ For Excluding My Grandmother From My Wedding?
“I (24 f) am getting married March 3rd to my partner (25 m) of five years.
We decided on a small wedding with 18 people total, his parents and my parents (including step-parents) are 8 of the people attending. We each have two people in our wedding party so that’s 4 more.
I invited my sister and her husband, he invited both his siblings and their spouses and that ended up being the final 6 people.
We just wanted the people closest to us to attend, my fiancée’s grandparents passed when he was younger and the only grandparent I have left is my grandmother.
I don’t want to invite her because I know she’ll wear white as she’s done it for every family wedding even when specifically asked not to. She basically has to be babysat everywhere she goes, expecting people to make her plate, walk her to the bathroom, get her ready first, etc. I know this would all be put on my mom and I simply don’t want to deal with that.
My maid of honor, bridesmaid, and I typically get together about once a week (not wedding related) and grab lunch. Since the wedding is getting closer, I asked them if they could help me with invitations one day and I’d grab us takeout. They agreed, and eventually, the day came around, my maid of honor took some pictures of me and my bridesmaid at the table doing wax seals on the invitations.
She posted it on social media and tagged me, so my grandmother could see it.
A week went by and I got a call from my grandmother. She wanted to know when her invitation was going to arrive, I told her that the guest list was small and I wasn’t able to invite her, and she lost her mind.
She said she didn’t know how long she had left, she already chose a dress, and this may be the last wedding she gets to go to. I told her that I was sorry but I wouldn’t be making any changes.
My dad and stepmom think I’m being a jerk, and my grandmother is telling the rest of the family how ‘awful’ I am.
So AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Comforting My Daughter Who Recently Lost Her Mom?
“I (m 41) have a daughter ‘Jo’ (15) from a previous relationship. I have 2 other kids (m 5) and (f 3) from my current relationship.
I have been with my wife ‘Anna’ (40) for about 9 years and married for 6.
Anna and I never had problems until now. Jo’s mom passed away 2 weeks ago it has been so difficult for Jo. It has also been difficult on me too because even though Jo’s mom and I were never technically together she’s a friend and the mother of one of my children so I care about her.
I have been spending more time with Jo nothing too special just getting her out of the house by going on a drive, visiting with her in her room being a shoulder for her to cry on if needed, and watching TV/ movies with her.
I’ve been also busy trying to find a therapist for Jo. My 2 younger ones were kinda confused and I explained Jo needs more time with Daddy right now. But that doesn’t mean I love you guys less Jo’s just sad because of her mommy so she needs some extra attention.
For being 3 and 5 I think they understood what I was saying. I also have been making sure to spend some time with them when I have the chance.
A few days ago Anna seemed upset I asked what’s wrong? She said she thinks it’s unfair Jo is getting all my attention when the younger ones need me.
I was confused and said Jo is grieving I think she needs me more. Anna went on about how the kids are upset that their daddy is spending less time with them now. She then called me a jerk for doing that to the kids… I felt like I explained to them the best I could.
Jo needs me more and I think Anna would also try and explain to them too. I’m just so confused I feel like I could be a jerk because they are little but also Jo just lost her mom 2 weeks ago.”
1. AITJ For Giving Rude Customers Poor Service?
“I (26 m) work as a server at a local diner. I’m friendly with pretty much all my coworkers, but me and my coworker Sarah (23 f) are good friends outside of work.
Sarah also works as a server there and is a trans woman. This will be relevant later.
So it’s a normal Monday night until a group of 4 middle-aged women come in and ask for a table. At first, they seemed fine, if a little giggly, and they immediately began ordering pitchers of drinks for their table.
Again, no big deal normally, everyone’s thirsty sometimes.
While I’m taking their orders for their entrees, they ask me who the handsome waiter walking around is. I was confused for a second and asked them to explain since I was the only male waiter working that shift. They clarify ‘The one with the blond hair’ and I realize they’re talking about Sarah.
I laugh it off and tell them that Sarah is actually a woman, and is not interested in women. The women look a little disappointed, and I take their orders without any issue from there.
I help a few tables afterward and head into the kitchen to grab some orders.
On my way out, I see Sarah rushing into the kitchen with tears in her eyes. After I drop off the food, I check to see what’s wrong and find her crying her eyes out at the back. Sarah tells me that my table, the one with the 4 women, called her over and began making rude and misgendering comments, calling her things like ‘handsome’ and ‘big boy’.
It was disgusting, and Sarah was literally shaking after the interaction. I confronted my manager about the women’s behavior, but he told me I had to keep serving them and not to mention it.
Here’s where I may be the jerk. They had already gotten their food, but for the rest of their dinner, I flat-out ignored them.
No more drinks, no refills on water, nothing. I was so mad at them that I couldn’t bear to even look at them. The only action I did was drop the check off at their table while they were in the middle of eating. They left a terrible tip.
Sarah was appreciative that I got revenge in a small way, but my partner thought I was a jerk for giving them trashy service when my manager told me to ignore it. AITJ?”
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