People Tell Their "Tough Luck" Revenge Stories
62. Think You Can Pass My Class At The Last Second? You Thought Wrong
“I had a student that no matter how many conversations I had with her, with her counselor, with her parent, etc, she refused to do assignments or turn anything in. She was of the opinion that my class was a throwaway, an easy A.
So I let her fail.
I stopped reaching out to her for the last six weeks and let her build her own gallows for her GPA. She came to me half panicked two days before the final, begging for extra credit, anything.
‘No.’
‘But, I’ll fail.’
‘Yeah, you will. The real world works like this – you don’t do what’s required of you, you fail. I tried to help but you never cared.’
‘I can’t have an F!’
‘That’s really not my problem at this point. Take it up with the principal, kid.'”
61. Break Up With Me? I Won't Be There When You Come Crawling Back
“It won’t sound that great, but it was great to me. I was seeing and living with this guy. Only for about 6 months, but in that time he two-timed me repeatedly (I know, shouldn’t have stayed), manipulated me, tried to control me, had me paying for everything, had a job for only a brief 2 months, and in the end physically abused me.
Oddly enough, he broke up with me.
So I got an apartment of my own and got all my stuff out (another ordeal). A few months later, I’m much happier and relieved to have gotten away from that experience. My friend and I are watching a movie at about 2 in the morning when there’s a knock on the door.
I go to answer it, and jerk is there. He’s crying and his pupils are huge and he’s acting weird. I asked him if he was tripping, and he said he’d done a lot of stuff. Then he said he just needed to talk to me.
It was winter, it was raining outside, and it couldn’t have been better. I just slammed the door in his face, deadbolted it, and went back upstairs and had a good laugh with my friend. It just felt good to do that, it felt like some sort of revenge to me. It was satisfying, to say the least.”
60. Gooey Surprise For The Annoying Student
“Taught several years of middle school visual arts. To survive teaching this age group, an experienced teacher understands that most boys are basic jerks and sneaky as ever. They really can’t help it, as it’s age-appropriate behavior, slow frontal lobe development, etc. One special little ray of sunshine kept reaching under the table unscrewing the bolts attaching the table legs.
Any bump from an unsuspecting kid sent the table crashing.
One morning before class, I globbed an entire jar of Petroleum Jelly all over the leg bolts under the table. Watching this kid’s face slack into horror and how screwed am I? After reaching under the table and grabbing the bolts was so satisfying. He couldn’t wipe it, hide it or deny it.”
59. You're Not My Babysitter So I Won't Be Yours
“I work in maintenance. My boss is a jerk who always steals my thunder, takes credit for my work. Throws me under the bus to make himself look good. And can’t fix a thing to save his life, so I have to do it. My whole department knows this but the people in charge don’t.
Part of my ‘duties’ is actually, according to the job description, his job. Such as checking vendor inspection reports for fire alarms and sprinklers systems, equipment PMs, water reports, etc. Lately one of our vendors has been pencil whipping reports and I found it. It wasn’t a big deal but saved us some deficiencies with the authority having jurisdiction.
Then another vendor tried to screw us, I found the errors and saved the company about 3k overall, not a lot, but enough to earn some brownie points. As always, he took credit for it.
Shortly after that, we had an ice storm that took power out to half the town.
The half where I live. On snow days I’m supposed to be in with him at 5 am to clear our office walks. But without power to trigger my alarm, I overslept. When I woke up to birds and sunshine I knew I’d screwed up.
Drove to work and walked straight up to him and apologized in front of coworkers. Boss was angry. And he proceeded to light me up verbally, being a loud, condescending jerk about it.
I asked, ‘Why didn’t you call me?’ to which he responded, ‘It isn’t my job to be your babysitter.’ I just nodded, apologized again, and walked away.
I also stopped checking his reports. Stopped looking up info on my personal phone for him, he’s got a company smartphone he can’t figure out. I stopped reminding him of his personal and professional appointments, too.
A few weeks later he had some major meeting with some of the Directors, one of the topics was some discrepancies in the reports that the authority having jurisdiction found.
My Boss forgot about his appointment and took a ‘lunch meeting,’ which means he just went home at lunchtime. I know, because I take care of the vendor meetings.
When I was asked where he was I blew him in. ‘I think he’s at home, today.’ When he was called in he yelled at me, in front of the same coworkers as before (my desk is in a cubical farm well away from the rest of my department for whatever reason.) ‘Why didn’t you remind me of my meeting? Why didn’t you check my reports? etc. etc.’ To which I got to smile and gave it right back to him.
‘I’m not your babysitter.’
I really thought he was gonna lose his mind. But he just fumed. Got silent. Then walked away.”
58. Boss Cut My Pay So I Stopped Working During My Lunch Break
“I worked for a small coffee equipment rep and I was the office everything. Phones, ordering, shipping, receiving, taxes, QuickBooks, month-end, website, toilet scrubber, maker of coffee, clean dish person… I’m sure you get the idea.
I typically arrive to work right on time or slightly before.
But I typically take my lunch at my desk and do work stuff throughout. I also am there late each night waiting for my spouse to arrive so I can take them home. My office is midway between where they work and where we live.
Since I’m there anyway, I don’t roll the phones over to voicemail service because, well, I’m there anyway, I might as well take emergency service calls if it helps our customers. My boss knows all about this. I’m on salary so I don’t make any extra, but that’s OK cause I love our customers.
One day I’m late to work by a half hour. I’m stuck in traffic (as is one of the sales guys). I call and let my boss know.
The next paycheck comes and it’s short by a half hour. I ask my boss about it. He said ‘you were late by 30 mins on whatever day.’ But I’m on salary and I constantly work through lunch and extra every night.
‘I don’t ask you to do that,’ he said.
But… But… But, I was only late once in a year! ‘Leave home earlier than,’ was his reply.
I’m angry. So I decide to make sure I take my lunches because, at the end of the day, I’m reeeeeally butthurt about this.
The next day comes and I know what’s going to happen. I’m going to go to lunch (he has to ok the time each day in case he’s got conference calls) and then the phone is going to ring and he’ll expect me to get it even though I’m on lunch because this happens every day (which is really why I do lunch at my desk).
Exactly as I predicted. He’s on a call, another line rings, he gives me the ‘could you grab that?’ look and I hold up a sign (pre-made that morning) that says ‘Sorry – I’m on Lunch.’
He is fuuurious!
It was a beautiful day. He ended up apologizing to me about taking a half-hour out of my check. He gave it back next payroll. Said something about having a bad week and he never pulled that stunt again.”
57. Take Advantage Of The Free Samples? You Won't Enjoy The Next One
“I worked at a local chocolatier and we were encouraged to offer free samples. We had one lady who would pop into the store every day around the same time, grab a handful of sample chocolate, and immediately leave. Our store was in a really ritzy community and, though she drove a Lexus and wore expensive jewelry, Sample (ahem) Witch never bought anything.
After months of this behavior, I decided to ambush her… with candy.
The candy universe is a wonderful menagerie of various disparate flavors and everyone has different preferences, but one ingredient stands out as the least popular: crystallized ginger. Even I, a professional chocoholic, hated that stuff, and I will basically eat anything.
Now, we had all different types of molten chocolate lying around for custom dipping — fresh strawberries, peppermints, bacon, fudge, gloved fingers, you name it and I could coat it in a little molten heaven. So I lovingly crafted a slew of impressively sized chocolates, each more tantalizing than the last, and each with a disgusting chunk of ginger madness lying at their center.
Then I waited patiently for the appointed hour and when I spied Sample (cough) Witch on her approach I switched out the sample plate. She entered the store and we greeted her per usual, she bee-lined to the counter and grabbed a handful of what appeared to be the biggest, best chocolate samples ever seen by human eyes and scurried out the door.
As she crossed the parking lot, we watched intently as she popped one in her mouth, gave a chew, and promptly spit it out into her hand as if it were on fire. After sample #2, she threw the remainder of her handful of candies out, hopped into her Lexus, and drove off.
It took another three days of this before she stopped coming in. Had she spent even $2 on something at any time, we would’ve gladly fed her free chocolates until diabetes took her — instead, her hubris earned her repeated ginger assaults. I hope that stuff gave her ginger-tinged nightmares.”
56. If You Can Play By Your Rules, My Son Can Play By His
“Took my son to a professional sports event in an older venue. Although announcements are made at the outset for people to sit back in their seats the man in front of me leaned forward blocking the view of my son. After repeated reminders, the man shouted back at us that the people ahead of him are leaning forward so he was going to lean forward.
After a while my son, as kids do, started swinging his feet, occasionally kicking the seat in front of him. I repeatedly reminded my son to be a gentleman and not to kick the seat. Eventually, the man spun around and growled at my son to stop kicking his seat. I looked at him and apologized, but followed it up with…. ‘wouldn’t you know it, the people behind him are kicking HIS seat so he feels it’s alright to kick your seat.’
55. Lie To Me? You Won't Be Allowed On This Trip
“A twelfth grader, Paul, stole a bottle of water, then denied it, demonstrably lying, and got really super snotty and insulting when I called him out. A couple of months later, he was devastated to learn he wasn’t allowed to go on the camping field trip with all the other seniors.
Like I’m going to chaperone hundreds of kids to Death Valley and take this lying thieving little jerk and be legally responsible for whatever nonsense he pulls? No way, Paul. You can sit in an empty classroom and watch PBS videos about the Lusitania while we go hiking and sit around campfires and sleep in tents and make bacon and pancakes for breakfast.
I wouldn’t fault anybody for wondering if poor Paul was innocent. But it was so obvious, it was comical. First, it was other kids who silently clued me into something untoward with Paul, the sort of meaningful glances. Then I see a water bottle is missing, and Paul has one.
First, he says, I always have a water bottle, I have PE third period. Okay, but that was two hours ago and that bottle is unopened. Oh, he says, that’s because I just bought it in the vending machine. No, because the vending machines on campus only sell Dasani, and that’s Crystal Geyser, we can go look if you want.
Well, he says, maybe today it’s Dasani but a couple of weeks ago it was Crystal Geyser. A, no it wasn’t, because those are soda vending machines and Dasani is a Coca-Cola brand. And B, then why is that bottle still unopened?!?!? And at this point, he literally tried to prove me wrong by opening the bottle but everybody in the class heard that plasticky breaking sound as he opens it, and everybody laughs.
Now he’s in an even deeper hole because he can’t simply return the stolen bottle, he has to pay for it, but he’s super upset and starts to threaten to have me fired. So I just send him off to the office for the period, and I pay for his water bottle, and he probably thought that was the end of the matter.”
54. Sometimes The Truth Hurts
“Right before graduating college an acquaintance of mine and I were both applying for the same job. He was a total jerk of a kid. Anyways, we both ended up getting the job. (There were 3 openings)
On day 1 as we are sitting down for orientation, jerk goes ‘So, how does it feel to have worked so much harder than me all through college and you got the same job at the same pay?’ I turned to him and asked him what his salary was. He told me. I then replied with ‘Yeah, but that’s not what I am getting paid.’
(I was truthfully making more than him, about 10% too.)”
53. Keep Being A Bad Student And I'll Spoil Your Favourite Show
“My cousin is a physics teacher at a private all-boys high school, and he’s easily the youngest teacher there (24.) One of his students is always very rowdy, and normal threats or punishments weren’t working. Somehow he found out this kid loves Game of Thrones, so one day when he asked the kid to quiet down and he refused, my cousin told him a Game of Thrones spoiler. He then informed the kid that every time he misbehaved, he would spoil GoT. The kid somehow didn’t believe him, so he tested it out a couple of times and was met with a new spoiler each time.
He doesn’t misbehave in class anymore.”
52. Keep Stealing My Newspaper? I'll Put Baby Powder In It
“Someone at my apartment complex kept stealing our newspaper. One Sunday I got up very early, brought in the Sunday paper, took it out of its colored bag, took the Saturday paper that I had filled full of baby powder, put it in the Sunday paper bag, and put it back outside the door. No one ever stole my paper again.”
51. Never Come To Class? Karma Will Leave You Feeling And Looking Blue
“Had an AP Chemistry teacher who had three students that would only show up for the exams (our school’s rules allowed unlimited skips in classes of Honors-level or above) and all three would pass with identical grades, despite never sitting within eyesight of each other.
He spent the entire year trying to figure out how they could have possibly gotten away with it.
The way our AP class worked, your grade was based solely on the final exam at the end of the year — all other classwork, homework, and exams were to help you learn and the grades for these things decided if you would be allowed to take the AP Exam.
So my teacher decided that instead of a written exam we’d have a lab exam for a final. I forget what the exam was on but I remember it was some chemical that stained your skin blue for weeks or months if it touched you. These three students never showed up for class, never knew anything about lab procedures, and ended up failing the class and having blue skin for the rest of the school year.”
50. Never Make The Kid Who Skips Write An Essay On Attendance
“In high school, I skipped class because I felt like I didn’t need to be there if I still did my homework and showed up for tests. My journalism teacher assigned each student a topic to write about for midterms. She thought she was clever when she assigned me: the value of the attendance policy.
My article dismissed the attendance policy as a tool of the establishment, citing government funding as the basis for the policy. I got an A-. I’ve kept the paper all these years as a trophy.”
Another User Comments:
“The best teachers are the ones who will still grade your work on its own merit, even if it doesn’t agree with their worldview.” Lurkers-gotta-post
49. I'll Name My Dog Your Preferred Baby Name Just To Spite You
“My uncle’s ex-wife was a certifiable lunatic whose narcissistic manipulation really wore my uncle and his brothers thin. When she was about 8 months pregnant, she kept going on about wanting to name her child Chelsea if it was a girl. My dad, with uncharacteristic pettiness, bought a dog and named it Chelsea about a week from her delivery. From all accounts (except my ex-aunt’s), the joke was a hit.”
48. Won't Hold The Elevator For Me? I'll Make Sure You Stop At Every Floor
“I live on the fifth floor and one of two elevators is broken, so a lot of the time it’s faster to just hop on the upward call a floor and then ride it down. So I’m in a hurry and see the elevator starting to close.
I shout ‘Hold the door!’ and rush over, and the guys inside peek through the crack and give me a patronizing wave, and say ‘Bye-bye.’ I knew they were coming down in a second. I knew I would have to ride with them and could give them trouble.
But instead, after I hit the down button, I ran down the nearby stairs to the 4th Floor and hit the call button, and then did the same on the Third Floor, and the Second Floor. All to annoy them. I wasted time, had to run down the stairs, and nearly tripped several times in my hurry, and was more focused on completing this task than actually getting to the bottom so I could get going. But hearing them go ‘Really? Again?!’ as they stopped on Third made it all worth it.”
47. My Kids Were Being Bratty So I Went Into Lazy Mom Mode
“My kids are usually well-behaved, but yesterday they were just buttheads. Whining, arguing, yelling, testing the limits, etc. Long story short, I’ve been exacting my petty revenge since last night.
I gave them each the wrong yogurt flavor with dinner. Made them take a shower instead of a bath.
Gave them something they like for breakfast while I ate something they love in front of them. They asked for some but I made it spicy so I couldn’t share.
Then, I dropped them off at daycare, called in sick to work, and came home and laid in bed with my significant other all day. My final revenge was eating the last of the favorite yogurt flavor while watching a movie in bed (a joy they won’t understand for years).
This is the pettiest I’ve ever been as a parent.”
46. Mess With My Beach Chair? I'll Mess With You
“I was 13 and was reclining on a beach chair. This boy about my age and his younger friend, who I’d known for about a week, were standing behind me and kept messing with the chair and wouldn’t stop when I asked them to. He and his friend were classic little bratty, redneck children (the younger one had a rattail mullet, relevant for later), and the entire time I’d known them they were spouting off about how the boys were doing this but the girls couldn’t do that because they were girls, stuff like that.
The last time they messed with my chair I stood up, spun around, and looked the bigger one dead in the eye, and told him he’d better stop. He looked right at me with a smirk on his face and asked, ‘What are you going to do about it?’ As soon as the words left his mouth I punched him dead in the eye and grabbed the younger kid’s rattail mullet and yanked it so hard he fell to the ground. Then I sat back down. Both started crying almost immediately and didn’t mess with me again. Eight years later and it’s still the best feeling of revenge I’ve ever had.”
45. No One Ever Suspects The Quiet Kid To Cause Trouble
“I was bullied a lot in middle school because, you know, middle school. I was a quiet, unassuming, itty-bitty girl who got along well with the teachers and always did my homework/answered questions/blahblahblah.
One day in class, this kid is being a jerk and throwing (his) stuff at me.
Whatever, the usual. BUT when the teacher is turned away, I whip an eraser (one of his that he had thrown) at this kid’s face and hit him right in the middle of his forehead. He’s stunned for a second and then tries to get me in trouble. Jerk can’t do anything because a) it is his eraser and 2) no one believed that I would do something like that.
Made my day.”
44. If You Mess With Me, You'll Be Left With Some Unpleasant Surprises
“Here are two stories of revenge.
The first one, I got laid off by a company but was given a week’s notice before my last day. I figured I would be walked at 5 on my last day as I worked until 8 pm, nope. Being one of the few employees left in the building I decided to get my revenge by removing the ball from every mouse I could find.
To not be a total jerk I put them in a box labeled mouse balls and sent an anonymous email an hour after work started on Monday with their location. A friend of mine still worked there and said the whole office was panicking and desktop support was losing their mind with all the help requests.
Two. Engaged to a girl, was making good money so I bought her a very nice ring and put it on a 0% interest card. Her car broke down so I bought her a used VW New Beetle and did the same thing, 0% life of the loan.
She two-times me and leaves me for the guy. I immediately pulled her off all of my accounts, she apparently did not think to do this and I was an authorized user on her cards. I promptly balanced transferred the remaining balance of the car and the ring to her cards, roughly $20k. She was angry and tried to sue me but had no recourse.”
43. Can't Cut Your Own Chicken? Maybe You Shouldn't Be Eating Here
“One time I was working a small event at the convention center as a banquet server after we had loaded in and set up. I was one of 3 servers working the event of about 100 people and there was a buffet.
The local weatherman was there but demanded I bring him a plate.
Pretty rude but I went and got it anyway. Get the plate to him and he demands, not asks, that I fill his coffee. There was one on the table, it was a self-serve event. I pour his coffee anyway. Still being very rude.
Then this jerk demands I cut his chicken for him.
So, I asked how old he was, exactly who he thought he was, and who he thought I must be to take his nonsense. I then took his plate and announced to the entire room that if I see this man-child eating or drinking ANYTHING, I would take all the coffee, all the food back, and end the event.
He left hungry. Don’t mess with catering.”
42. Annoyed With The Way I Upkeep My Lawn? I'll Mess With Yours
“I had a jerk of a neighbor who harassed my mom when she was alive about the smallest details in the yard of the house, and she did the same thing to me when I moved in. When my mom died she called the city on me because I didn’t cut my grass for a week.
She would never just come to talk to me. She would always call officials or approach my friends, yard workers, etc about her complaints. Apparently, she was afraid of a 180lb 21-year-old college girl.
Anyway, she approached my partner once complaining to him about the leaves in our yard, and I hatched part one of my plan.
I called the city, confirmed there are no laws surrounding leaves, and then didn’t rake them for like 2 years to build up mulch for my gardens. She hated it but couldn’t do anything. The next spring I hatched part 2 of my plan. She kept a meticulous yard that she paid people to maintain like once a week and she maintained daily.
She also went to bed at like 9 pm. I snuck out after all the lights in her house were off and dusted her lawn with bird seed. It not only attracted tons of birds, but it also attracted deer that pooped on her lawn all the time.
She was livid but couldn’t prove anything.
She got so angry she tried to report me for a substance lab I didn’t have. I let the police take a look around and they promised me they’d never take her seriously again. Not a single issue beyond that point.
I sold my house to someone who rents it out to college students. Last I heard, that neighbor is selling her house. That’s probably the ultimate petty revenge.”
41. Keep Copying And I'll Make It Impossible To
“Taught for nine years. First-quarter one year, a kid blatantly copied on a test. I flunked him on that test with a 0%, and I got dragged in front of the administration along with the kid and his parents. The parents argued that, since I didn’t explicitly say during orientation that copying wasn’t allowed, that I shouldn’t be allowed to punish him.
I countered with the common-sense notion that I shouldn’t have to explain that during orientation or anytime, it should be a given. The administration found a gutless compromise that I had to allow him to retake the test. He was lazy and never did, so his 0% stood.
But I was still angry about it.
From then on out, there were two versions of tests. The rest of the class would get Version A, he would get Version B. I didn’t explain it beforehand, and on the first test, he flunked because he copied answers off people with a different version.
He got the idea and started flunking tests all on his own.
The last quarter, I started giving everyone the same version of the test, and he was so used to being on a different version that he didn’t copy from anyone, up until the end.
He finally figured it out but hadn’t been able to start copying again. On one of the last tests, I didn’t print ‘Version A’ or ‘Version B’ on the top of the tests at all. All the questions were the same, but his multiple choice answers were in a different order than everyone else’s.
Failed that one.
For the final, everyone had the same answers for every question, but I reworded all the questions on his. So the answer for question 1 was ‘The New Deal,’ but his started out with ‘What was the name for the collection of laws passed by FDR …’ and everyone else’s was ‘The group of laws proposed by Roosevelt in the 1930s was called what?’ He failed that one, failed the class, failed the grade.
I think he still moved on because his parents wouldn’t agree with administrators that he should be held back. I stopped teaching after that year, anyway, so I couldn’t be bothered either way.
Mind you, aside from different versions on test day, he got all the same instruction as every other student. I just devoted an inordinate amount of time on petty vengeance on test days.”
40. Be A Rude Driver? I'll Make You Miss Your Exit
“I was stuck in rush-hour traffic and was also in an area that was notorious for terrible drivers. Anyway, I’m in the lane second from the left, as the far left lane was ending soon. At the very last second, this large black truck cuts directly in front of me with no signal, no warning, and no regard for how much room there actually was to merge.
He came within two inches of my front bumper, then flipped me the bird through his back windshield.
My petty revenge? I merged into the next lane over and coasted beside him until he went for his exit. I pretended to be oblivious as he attempted to merge onto the exit ramp, causing him to miss his chance to exit. The best part? The next exit would take 15+ minutes to get to. It wasn’t even my exit, but hearing him yelling at me from inside his stupid over-compensation machine made it all worth it. 5/7, would do again.”
39. I Caught My Bad Business Partner Breaking The Law And Got Him Removed From The Company
“So my other half is a 50/50 owner of a business. Things were going great for about 4-5 years.
My other half is the quiet numbers person who is actually running and steering the company. The business partner is the face guy, the one who gets out there and is known as the guy attached to the company.
At the point where this takes place, the company is expanding like crazy. The loudmouth guy, we’ll call him Archie, starts to focus on making the company only about him so much so that people who don’t even know anything about our product say things like ‘it seems like he just wants to be rich and famous’ or that he’s doing this because he doesn’t really have a job anymore cause the company has grown beyond the usefulness for him to do anything other than be a talking head.
Literally, every other company in this industry (a very close group) ends up hating us because of this person. Who again is loud, obnoxious, self-absorbed, thin-skinned.
Anyway, I start working a minor unimportant job in the retail side of things (officially hired not working under the table a real job) where Archie is in charge.
Not one thing gets said positively from this guy. While he’s around, you hear him insulting other staff, and others in the industry, belittling people, and starting into minor bits of harassment.
Then there was the conversation he had with me out of the blue about how I shouldn’t be telling anyone who comes in how I’m involved or that the owner and I are married.
So ‘I should only mention that we’re gay if someone asks me first.’ Cause it makes us look bad.
At this point I’m livid. I try very hard not to bring anything home but I’m very upset and he starts to know he messed up. A month after this happens, I’m late twice due to bad accidents due to weather.
He pulls me aside and says ‘this isn’t working. This is why I didn’t want family here. I thought your job would be temporary. When can you leave?’
My other half is angry but I ask them to stay out of it as it just proves Archie right.
Exactly a month passes with no mention as I’m looking for work. He asks if we can go for coffee and talk about progress. I say it’s tough for work and I’m still working on finding something. I say let’s meet every two weeks until I’m ready to put my resignation in.
We agree and handshake, and things are good. Working with him is fun again.
A week later, he comes in on his way out the door. He says ‘so we’ll pay you out to the end of the month, but we’ve hired a new girl and we’re giving her your shifts’ (2 days left in the month).
At this point, I’m done.
So here’s where I get petty. The industry we’re in is very heavily regulated by certain governing bodies and one of the rules is no one can get a DUI. I happen to know if he has a DUI he will be forced to sell his shares of the company.
The next night after this we all go out. He has about 5 drinks and drives the company van home. I call the police to report a swerving vehicle giving a good description of the vehicle (not hard to spot, nice big cargo van with company branding) and the route I see it taking.
He gets pulled over, gets a DUI, and is in the process of trying to fight it.
In the meantime he’s been removed from his official positions in the company, is embarrassed amongst the community, and blew so far over there’s no way of getting a slap on the wrist and will be forced to sell his half of the business.”
38. Skip The Class Trip? Good Luck Passing Your Final
“My Abnormal Psych professor (a 400-level class, so you would assume people in this class were interested in the field) had us visit a local homeless shelter. This was an accelerated night class so classes were 4 hours long. She arranges for us to go during our normal class time.
A few people in the class felt it was dumb or a waste of time and bailed just as the tour was starting. The Final exam for that class was about 4 questions that were VERY easy to answer if you stayed for the whole tour and absolutely impossible if you did not.”
Another User Comments:
“I remember doing a series of quizzes in an English class when we had to read chapters because plenty of the students weren’t and the class was built on participation.
If you didn’t read, there was less classroom discussion.
The best one was a one-question fill-in-the-blank quiz that was a direct quote of the final twist line of one chapter. The quote looked innocuous enough to anyone that plenty of guesses might look right, but had you read the chapter, the answer was extremely obvious.” foxhunter
37. Steal My Perfect Spot? Two Can Play At This Game
“So, this just happened and the woman is still shooting me dirty looks.
So, I decided that I wanted to go see The Martian today. I took the bus and ended up showing up 50 minutes early. So I was the only one in the theater for a good 25 minutes so I took my time picking out my ideal spot.
I decided to go to the bathroom before the movie so I didn’t miss anything. On my way back with a soft pretzel in hand, I see the woman with her kids and she’s moving all of my stuff to a different seat so she and her kids can take my spot.
I stomach it, grab my stuff and move to a different spot. While I’m sitting there eating my pretzel, I notice her and her kids all going to the bathroom. I seize the opportunity. I run, grab all their stuff, and move it to seats right in front of the entrance so they’ll see it as soon they walk in. I then reclaim my rightful place in my perfect spot. The lady comes in, sees her stuff, looks at me, connects the dots, and now has been shooting the occasional death glance from the front row and every other spot filled up.”
36. Mess With My Job? I'll Put Your Car Up For Sale
“Back in the early 2000s, I was a forklift driver in a warehouse for a company that specialized in computer peripherals. The HR person in this company was a very attractive lady and over the course of my time there we got to be good friends.
She was married, and even though I was single at the time, I prided myself on never taking advantage of another man’s lady. To me, it just wasn’t right. Let’s continue:
The warehouse manager at the time was this guy who suffered from Napoleon syndrome (for those who don’t know the term, it’s applied to a really short dude who acts like a jerk to make up for his lack of stature).
He had a thing for my HR friend (which was obvious to all the employees by the way he acted around her) and was convinced I was sleeping with her. He made it his duty to mess with me whenever he could; putting me on shifts that started at strange hours, coming in early to take my favorite parking spot, sending me into container trucks to hand-stack heavy boxes of speakers far more often than my co-workers, interrupting legitimate work-related conversations with my HR friend, etc.
I wanted to take this guy down a few pegs, but I didn’t want to mess up his property or flat-out brawl with the dude, so I concocted a more subtle plan.
I put his car up for sale. Here’s how I did it:
Remember, this was when the internet was still pretty much in its infancy.
The ‘mark’ in question had just bought a brand new PT Cruiser, and it was only a few months old at this point. The front desk receptionist was doubling as an HR assistant and had access to personal information on all the employees. I took her out to lunch at a place of her choosing in exchange for this guy’s home phone number.
I probably didn’t need to take her to lunch for this reason, but it made my potential payoff that much more rewarding. He wasn’t well-liked in the company and she was more than willing to help me.
I picked up 3 different local newspapers and ran personal ads in each in the car-classifieds section with a photo of a PT Cruiser and a simple description saying I had just got an overseas job and needed to sell my near-new Cruiser at less than half the cost of a brand new one.
I put his home number as the contact number. Here’s the kicker: I stated I worked odd hours and the best time to get a hold of me was between the hours of 1:30 am and 5:30 am (his shift started at 9 am). Since he was the warehouse manager, he had to have his home phone and cell connected and on in case the higher-ups needed to call him with something work-related
In the old days when you put an ad in a newspaper, the paper would call to confirm the number, but since Craigslist and other for-sale sites started popping up, the papers were losing revenue and were happy to get any business at that point.
I had to bank on the fact that none of the newspapers would call his house to confirm the ad. The ads would be out the following week, so I cooled my jets and patiently waited.
The plan worked brilliantly.
The day after the ads came out, and for several days after, he would stumble into work late, languish in his office (unusual for him), drink gallons of coffee, and stumble over his words in meetings.
It was obvious he was getting calls at all hours of the night and didn’t get much sleep (a co-worker spotted him sleeping in his Cruiser on break a few times). I never told anyone, save the girl I took to lunch who promised to keep my secret, for fear of it getting back to him and making my situation worse.
It cost me a few bucks for lunch and getting the ads placed, but man it was worth it.”
35. Keep Using My Shampoo? I'll Replace It With Rotten Milk
“One of my roommates always used to use our shampoo, and this went on for months. We could always tell because the shower would smell of different shampoo from time to time whenever he used the shower.
So one day instead of the usual shampoo we mixed in rotten milk and the usual shampoo in a bottle and left it in the shower. Needless to say, he wasn’t very happy about it and we all (minus him) had a good laugh.”
34. Ruin The Movie For Me? I'll Ruin Your Puzzle
“My friend who is obsessed with Star Wars ruined the ending of The Force Awakens for me. (The day after it came out, mind you.) I was angry. I had made it very clear I was going to see the movie that night but he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut.
So, for Christmas, I got him a huge Star Wars Puzzle. He was excited about the puzzle and worked on it immediately and over the course of several days.
I got word that he was having trouble finishing the puzzle.
When the time was right, (and after he’d torn apart his living room searching) I sent him a picture of the final puzzle piece and said ‘oh, did I ruin the ending for you?’
I then destroyed the puzzle piece.”
33. Maybe She Was Right To Be Jealous After All
“I hooked up my two best friends about 5 years ago. After a while, she decided she didn’t want him spending time with me anymore so he kind of disappeared for a long time. I just assumed it was like any other person who gets into a new relationship.
Turns out she was jealous of how much we liked hanging out.
Fast forward to 2017, they’ve broken up and he now spends all of his time with me. Sleeps over every weekend. Goes to dinner, movies, weekend getaways. I think I want to marry him.
Marrying him will be my greatest and most petty revenge.
Unfortunately, it means she was right to separate us.”
Another User Comments:
“I did this as well… the same thing happened with her, which is ironic as I am not into dudes and therefore was no threat to their relationship.
But because she was so jealous of our totally platonic relationship, she stopped being my friend and wouldn’t let him hang out with me (they both started out as close friends of mine but I’d known him a lot longer). They got married and I never see him anymore.
Can’t steal him away, but someday she’ll get hers. And it will be due to my machinations, oh yes.” HemOphelia
Reply:
“I hope you get your revenge someday.
Honestly, back then, we were literally just friends. The idea of us being romantically involved was laughable to both of us.
He was like a brother to me.
Then after they broke up, he and I started spending loads of time together and my friends and roommate started asking why we weren’t together. I laughed it off for months but when new acquaintances started asking how long we had been together I started to wonder if I was missing something.
Once the idea hit me, it was like an avalanche. I’m buried in it now. Can’t imagine how I never felt this way before. It’s funny how that happens. I’ve always been a ‘love at first sight’ gal, but this was one that grew into something bigger and better.
Unfortunately, the idea still terrifies him.
However, I still make sure to post photos of us on social media just to torment her. I even make sure to comment on her stuff, to prompt her to check out my pages. Haha it’s horribly petty.” danarexasaurus
32. I Covered My Bully's Car In Frozen Yellow Liquid
“I was always sort of a quiet introverted kid, with an awkward name that people made fun of to boot. Suffice it to say, I got picked on a lot during my school years. High School ended and I was finally away from all that nonsense, no more rude names or beatings, none of it, I moved on, went to university, got a decent job, and things were looking alright.
I got invited to a party at a friend’s place when I was about 22 (5 years after grad) and one of my former tormenters was there (I discovered this upon arriving). Having grown into adulthood I did the mature thing and said hello, tried to act pleasant and all that, they went right into making snide comments and calling me by some of my old nicknames.
As politely as I could, I told them to lay off, we were adults and that was frankly, quite annoying. They spent the rest of the night making jokes about me, in front of me, to everyone else at the party. This jerk really seemed to only talk about three things, hockey, his car, and me, for the whole party.
This was the point where I decided to make a game of it. Every time they’d make fun of me, I’d finish my drink. This game revealed its flaw quite quickly, as after about a half-hour I had finished three drinks and already had to pee.
The bathroom was full so I had to go outside, it was winter, about -25C, I excused myself from the backyard so the smokers wouldn’t have to see me whip it out and BEHOLD! A sweet bastion of sheer revenge mere steps away. I saw his car, so I decided to do what any good intoxicated person would, and I climbed up onto his front bumper, and let loose a golden arc all over his front windshield and hood.
This felt great, but as I arrived back inside the party, I realized that it changed nothing. I was still being made fun of constantly. So I continued my game, adding in this new step. Three or four hours and countless drinks later, his car was covered on all sides with a sheen of frozen pee, I even used a coffee stir stick to push away the covers on his door locks so I could try to get frozen pee in them. At this point, I excused myself from the party and went home.”
31. The Egging War
“I was once staying at a friend’s house in the 7th grade. His older sister thought it would be a good idea to embarrass him in front of me by cracking an egg over his head from the top of the balcony when we got home from school.
My friend was infuriated and woke me up at 5:00 the next morning, went into the kitchen, and started whisking a bowl of eggs. 5 minutes and 5 eggs later we went downstairs to his sister’s room where he poured the whole bowl of whisked egg onto her face. The look of horror as she woke up with her face covered in egg was probably one of the funniest things I have seen in my entire life. To this day she has never messed with him again.”
30. Double Karma For The School Bully
“I was in the locker room in high school gym class, hiding in the back because I had to call my mother about something ASAP. Just as I’m listening to the recording, this kid who had been a longtime bully to me came over and started taunting me with his usual threats.
As I was leaving the message, in which I did not want him taunting me in the background, I kicked him as hard as I could. I aimed for his stomach, but he reacted and somehow managed to get himself kicked in the nuts instead.
He looked at me in shock and amusement and ran away. I managed to finish the message without faltering once.
Not long after this, I happened to be at the DMV with the same kid and both of our fathers, both of us testing to get our permits. I passed. He failed. Extra karma, jerk.”
29. Ask For A Divorce On Voicemail? I'll Make Sure Everyone Knows How You Hurt Me
“My first wife asked for a divorce on the answering machine while deployed in Bosnia with the Army. Previously I had been forging armor for a few months and had made her a stainless steel breastplate, so she could fight in the SCA (mock armored combat sport).
I had heard rumors of her flirting with other men while on deployment. So I went about hammering and grinding in a big ‘A’ across the front and filled it in with red paint. Never knew what her first-hand reaction was, but it sure made me smile anytime I thought about it.”
28. Mom Hogs The Controller So I Reset The Game Right As She's About To Beat It
“When I was a kid in the early 90s I wasn’t very good at video games. I was playing Super Mario Brothers 3 for NES, and I was hopelessly stuck on some level. Probably that level in world three with the fish who would jump out of the water and eat you.
I asked my Mom to beat this level for me. She does and then of course she proceeds to hold on to the controller.
This goes on for the rest of the game. I sit there patiently as my Mom just continues the game without ever trying to give me the controller back.
I wait very patiently until she is at the Bowser fight. Bowser is in the air for the last time, all my Mom has to do is jump out of the way and Bowser will plummet to his death….or at least defeat, and the Mushroom Kingdom will know peace at last.
Nope, I run my fat little butt to the NES and hit reset, and then run to my room laughing.”
27. Mess With My Car? I'll Mess With Your Boat
“20+ years ago we lived in a duplex and almost every other weekend our neighbor would park his 30′ new-ish boat in the middle of the driveway. It made it almost impossible for us to park our car. When we asked him to relocate the boat (or we would complain to the landlord) he got mad and the next day the antenna on our car was broken.
So a few nights later there was a light rain. We went out at 1 AM with a water hose, stuck it in his boat, and filled it up as best we could. We ran the water until it was almost daylight. That afternoon we heard him scream. I am not sure if he suspected us, because it did rain. But the boat was gone the next day and it never returned.”
26. Tricked My Housemates Into Finally Turning On The Heat
“I’m a southerner in the UK, and I go to a northern Uni. By nature, northerners consider themselves a ‘harder’ breed of people than the softer southerners (see Game of Thrones for accurate representations of this divide). Anyway, it gets to the middle of December and these northern monkeys I live with are still harping on about how it’s warm outside, mincing around in shorts and flip-flops, calling me weak for not being able to hack the cold.
I should mention I live in the attic room which had a broken radiator, and they live on the first floor with smaller rooms, better insulation, and fully working radiators. I took it as banter for a while, knowing how they are, just looking for a rise, but it started to go a bit far when I could see my breath in the morning and they still would complain about me wanting some heating going on.
Now, they are both on placement years so they have to be up and out of the house at normal working hours, whereas I am not, so I get to stay in the house all day effectively, aside from brief trips to uni and back.
The point is, I am always in the house before them. So, after they angered me a lot one day, I start getting up just after they leave, turning the heating on, turning their radiators off, and opening their bedroom windows and leaving them open for as long as I reasonably could (me leaving the house during my day to day limited this time occasionally, but if I was in the house alone, their windows were wiiiiiide open).
Then I’d shut their windows just before they were due home from work, flick the heating off, and watch their faces as they got in every day from work, shivering but not wanting to admit they were cold. Eventually, they caved and suggested putting the heating on, which I was more than happy to do.”
25. Annoying Coworker? Make His Emails Unreadable
“I had a dinosaur of an old co-worker who annoyed everyone around him. He was un-hygienic and obnoxious. One day another co-worker sent me an instant message as he had emailed her a technical question and she didn’t know how to respond.
I had her forward the email to me and translated his question into Swahili and sent it back to her with the instructions to replace what he wrote with my translation and then ask him why he sent it the way he sent it.
He responds back to her expressing confusion as to why it was showing as it did and he re-asked the question.
I again translated the response, sent it back to her, who sent it on to him. At that point, I hear him mumbling very loudly down the hall.
He forwards the email to me and a couple of other people to ask them if they see the question in English or if they see something else.
I message each of those people and give them a Swahili translation to send back to him. I also translate his email to Swahili and send it back saying that I don’t know what’s going on but that maybe he has his auto-translate settings on in outlook and he should look into that.
About 30 minutes later he’s pacing up and down the hallway in front of the offices mumbling to himself about how he can’t find the auto-translate settings and he feels like he’s going crazy, and he doesn’t understand what’s going on.
I go out of my office and walk him back to his office offering to help.
I sit down at his computer and he’s still talking to himself and not paying attention. I make it look like I’m making some settings changes and then tell him it was his auto-translate settings and I’ve turned them off.
He sends out a couple of test emails and everything is fine. For months I hear him tell different people the story of the auto-translate settings and how funny it was.
We were both in the IT department.”
24. Take Advantage Of Me As A Roommate? I'll Get You In Trouble With Management
“I had this roommate in college (pot-luck, student housing), and she was the worst. Offered to pay me to write her a paper, to which I declined, but I told her I would help her come up with a thesis and some body paragraphs. So we sat down and basically had the whole outline of the paper written, and then she decides that it’s too hard, or she’s too lazy, and she paid some guy $75 to write it instead.
Another fun anecdote is about the time she and a few friends wanted to go out to the bars, however, a couple of them were underage. So she assures her friend they can just borrow my ID. I came home, and they asked to borrow my ID, which I said no to very quickly.
I explained that I didn’t know them, and I also don’t feel comfortable with a stranger having my ID. Her friend calls me a jerk, and they all leave.
She liked to smoke a lot. I don’t have a problem with that or smoking, but when you share a house with non-smokers it’s at least courteous to ask.
Her room shared a wall with mine and a vent with mine. So I would constantly come home to a room that reeked, and it made visits from my parents awkward. I asked her to find somewhere else to smoke, as it was smelling up my room too, and she ignored me.
She liked to show off a bit too. She had a friend over one day and confronted me about leaving a cereal bowl in the sink. The bowl in question was left in the sink because our other roommate hadn’t gotten her dishes out of the dishwasher (also it had only been there for about 6 hours).
So she lays into me about leaving my stuff in the sink, and makes a huge spectacle about it, then turns to her friend and says ‘see, that’s how it’s done.’ At this point, I’m a little confused and more than a little indignant. Both of them went back to her room, and 2 minutes later the whole apartment reeked of smoke again.
Well, we needed new air filters. I called the maintenance guy, and since we were in Texas and in a warmer month, anything that involves AC/Heating gets addressed right away. The maintenance guy comes up and smells the smoke, and looks at me like I’m nuts for calling him and incriminating myself like that.
I point out that it’s coming from my roommate’s room, and he calls his manager. The manager comes and gives her two options, call mom or call the cops, and she’s one more lease infraction away from eviction. Her mother is called, and she becomes very scarce around the apartment after.
Roommate left a couple of months later.”
23. Make Fun Of Me? I'll Steal Your Shoelaces
“Well, a kid at school decided to make a rhyme out of my name, and being an all-around jerk, this took place in middle school during gym. Well in Physical Education class we had to wear green shoelaces to make sure we didn’t wear our dirty outside shoes on the new basketball court.
Every time the opportunity arrived, I would take his green shoelaces out of his shoes and put his shoes back in the locker whenever he would leave it unlocked. Happened twice before he caught on and started locking it better and being more careful.
I watched him from behind and saw his combo and started doing it during a free period, would come down into the locker room and take the shoelaces.
He would have to cough up the money and get new ones and be docked points on his grade every time.
This is where his limited genius came into play and moved his normal locker lock to his locker room locker. Well, now I had the combination to his main locker for school and started messing with the stuff he brought for school. Just stuff with books, jackets, and food.
Never would do anything over the top but I more than annoyed the life out of him and cost him quite a bit of grades and money for just him being a jerk.”
22. Live Next Door To A Jerk? Mess With His Water Temperature
“My partner and I used to be neighbors in the same apartment complex. He had a roommate who was a total jerk. The roommate once put a pizza box in front of my partner’s door while I was staying the night. I get up to use the bathroom and I almost slip on the pizza box and smash my head into the closet door.
Later on, they have a major fall out and my partner is finally free of that jerkface roommate after moving out. Since I still live next to this jerk I can mess with the water heating in the shower. Every time I flush my toilet a flash of scalding water or cold water comes out of the shower. I do this every time I hear him singing in the shower.”
21. Disrupt My Class? Your Participation Mark Will Tank Your Grade
“Had a terrible student who was obnoxious and disruptive. He had no respect for anyone, including his classmates. I gave him a class participation grade that was just low enough to have him fail the class. Twice. He tried to appeal it, but it wasn’t appealable. He changed majors and the professors in his new major hate him too.
My class participation grade should really be called the ‘Don’t be a jerk’ grade.”
20. All Is Fair In Love And War
“When I was in my early 20s, I was living in a house with other university students. One of my housemates was a girl (we’ll call her MJ) who I liked and was trying to get with, but was building up confidence before I made a move.
One of my best friends was getting married and I invited her to go with me, which she did. Another one of our friends was living in another city and he also attended, but instead of bringing a girl as his +1, he brought a buddy (we’ll call him Craig), a guy we all liked and who was fun to hang with.
At the wedding, MJ was immediately drawn to Craig. He was attractive, fit, funny, and confident, so it was no surprise. They spent a good deal of the night chatting, dancing, etc, all while part of the group.
Toward the end of the evening, people are intoxicated and I can kinda see that there’s an opening for Craig to ask MJ back to his hotel room.
So I go chat with MJ. She’s going on about how great he is, blah, blah, blah. She points out his job at a bank is fantastic (it was) and how flush he is with cash (also true). I make a choice right there to look surprised and confused.
She asks, what’s up? I tell her that Craig works at a grocery store and hasn’t been able to hold a good job because of some stuff in his past. She goes from shocked to angry and drags me out of there. I probably could have slept with her that night, but I didn’t, though we did start seeing each other within a week.
The best part of all of it was the next time I saw Craig, he asked about MJ. I told him the whole story and he loved it! Patted me on the back, shook my hand, and had a big laugh!”
19. We Hid His Body Spray And All Turned To Chaos
“One of my roommate’s freshman year of college thought that half a bottle of Axe body spray was equivalent to a shower. He also did not believe in doing laundry; he just bought more clothes. At one point, his laundry pile was a good three feet tall and possibly sentient.
We left for the dining hall, and he wasn’t around so we hid his body spray in his dirty laundry. He came storming into the cafeteria positively livid, we played clueless, but I’m sure he knew. He left and we didn’t think any more about it, simply enjoyed a leisurely lunch so we wouldn’t have to deal with him.
When we got back to the room we found a friend of his sitting outside the door. He had slammed the door in a fit of rage and broken the latch, effectively locking himself in the room. Unable to get back into the room, we walked to the local dollar store, bought a couple of kites, and flew them outside the room on the quad until maintenance finally freed him.”
18. Refuse To Work With Me? I'll Make Your Job Harder
“My coworker is a complete jerk to me. She refuses to speak to me or make eye contact, and prior to my recent promotion, we were supposed to be working directly with each other. Any time I needed her to do something I had to go to our boss to tell her to do it (even as simple as resending an audit file.
She would just sit there stone-silent as I talked at her until I finally walked away and got our boss).
I signed her up for a ton of those internet scams that are like ‘Do you want to go back to school?’ or ‘Do you want to lose weight??’ All straight to her work line.
She was getting telemarketer calls for months.”
Another User Comments:
“I have a coworker sort of like that. Our manager understands that he’s behaving like a two-year-old and has given credit to the guy’s other coworkers for things that the guy has done. Kind of pathetic that he can’t figure out he’s ruining his own job by his behavior.” richardtheassassin
Reply:
“This coworker was up against me for this promotion, somehow I got it not her. She also applied for a promotion at one of our sister properties, got turned down.
If you can’t behave like a cordial professional with your coworkers, nobody’s gonna make you a manager.” cmc
17. I Hid All The Pens From My Awful Manager
“A manager at a store I worked for a very short time was a stone-cold jerk. He would make sure everyone else was doing their job and his. Then he would take credit for it all and no one would stand up to him. I had just found a way better job and put in my two weeks.
he was a huge jerk the first week and it didn’t look any better for the second. I was racking my brain on how to serve up a hot plate of justice on this jerk but the recipes didn’t sound right. But I had started telling the big boss the truth ‘oh yea me and blank did all that work? Manager? Is he here today? We haven’t seen him.’ And this was getting to him but it wasn’t tasty enough.
Then on the episode of The Office with Todd Packer, Jim jams Dwight’s drawers and I knew I had found it. I cut 12 wooden Ls and waited until the next day unable to sleep. He disappeared for his hour-and-a-half lunch and I got to work.
Through a painstaking process of screwing the top of the L to the top of the drawer with a rachet, I achieved victory. It worked perfectly so that you could barely get a pen out with two fingers.
The Jerk was due back and I ran around giving every staff member a pen and telling them the score.
They hid all pens and we waited. He came in barking orders and me knowing I had two days left I stood there proudly and said ‘inventory is your job. I will not do it.’ He threatened to write me up and I said ‘then you’ll have to do double writing because I won’t write up inventory.’ He said I was being a jerk and walked to the office.
Ladies and gentlemen, I could not tell you how long that 15 seconds was but I was giddier than all the school girls. I heard the door open and then like a hammer to a nail.
Whack whack whack….Whack whack… Whack whack whack. ‘What is in these…’ Whack whack whack…
Then the lower tone of the other desk. Whack whack. ‘What the heck?!’ Whack whack whack ‘you’re kidding me!!’ Back to his desk, whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack whack SLAM SLAM SLAM.
He slams the door and walks out to us. Before he can say a word I ask ‘what’s with the yelling and banging? We have customers out here.
Hey, do you have a pen on you?’ He says ‘no’ but his face looks like pure rage. Tasty. He walks around asking for a pen but the trodden masses have united. Scrumptious. After asking every person he comes back to me.
Jerk (J): ‘Did you find a pen?’
Me (M): ‘I didn’t know I was looking for one.’
J: ‘how does no one here have a pen?!’
M: ‘do you have a pen?’
J: ‘NO! I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ONE FOR LIKE AN HOUR!’
M: ‘that’s productive.’
Death glare.
M: ‘I have a pen. So does blank.’ We pull out pens. ‘I’d give it to you but this is mine and if I give it to you I’ll be as unprepared and unprofessional as you.’
J: ‘are you serious? You knew I’ve been looking for one-‘
M:’I asked you for one?’
With the look of hurt and betrayal on his face, my plate was almost clean.
But there was dessert to be had. He had found a pen and blah blah I took the desk blocks out.
Dessert is best served cold. I went in a few weeks later and saw my old co-workers. They said he was nicer but now he’s even worse. I went to my car and reinstalled the blocks. This time I left a note just visible. ‘Do you have a pen?’
It’s a joke I never saw the punch line to but makes me laugh just as hard.”
16. I Upset My Teacher So She Made It Her Mission To Ruin My Academic Career
“My 10th grade English teacher ruined my academic career.
I disagreed, publicly, with the teacher’s interpretation of a poem. I wasn’t intentionally trying to derail anything, I was just offering an alternate read. If I recall correctly, it was Frost’s ‘The Road Not Taken’, and I suggested that ‘made all the difference’ didn’t necessarily mean Frost liked the choice he made; that this poem could mean as much to someone who regrets their choice as someone who believed they choose correctly.
She informed me that I was, categorically, wrong. I was ready to concede – no point making enemies on day one. I said that I saw the value in her interpretation and was ready to read it from that perspective.
She wasn’t satisfied, though. She insisted that my interpretation was wrong, and that class couldn’t continue until I understood that her way was the only way to interpret the piece – that I should’ve learned this last year and she couldn’t start a tenth-grade education on a broken foundation.
And here’s where I messed up: I stopped my social filter. I just aired my train of thought, all the way through.
I don’t remember what I said, but I’m told that she started crying when I said ‘Who could have the gall to call themselves an educator when they themselves aren’t educated on how to value the interpretations of others?’ Eventually, she left the room and decided to end me.
But this lady was smart.
I knew I was out of line and was waiting for another shoe to drop. I was (and am) genuinely apologetic for the distress I caused and wanted to make amends. I apologized in person after class, in writing, I arranged meetings in which I apologized.
Each time she told me that I had raised valid points and the fault was as much hers as mine and I had nothing to fear so long as I didn’t do it again.
But the proof was in my grades: I consistently got Cs. This would have been fine with me, but I started getting C’s on assignments I didn’t turn in – just always getting C’s.
When I approached her on it, she fixed the assignments I didn’t turn in (changed them to zeros), but now all my subsequent work was getting A’s.
It turns out she wasn’t trying to mess with my grades to get back at me. She was making sure I passed with a high C, no matter what I had to say about it.
She met with my parents to discuss my ‘issues of self-esteem’, and in these meetings, she said she wanted me in Advanced Placement English. I said I wasn’t ready for that – my strengths were Science and Math, but AP English had a workload I wouldn’t be able to meet.
It turns out that in Miami-Dade public school system, teachers can override the wishes of students and parents when placing a student in their next class.
It wasn’t enough for her to nuke my GPA this year, she wanted to nuke it next year, too, and it was her recommendation that later landed me in remedial reading for a summer.
When I figured out what she was doing, she started being real coy about it- ‘Even if your theory was believable, there’s nothing you could do’. She simultaneously started being a real jerk to me in class. The other students knew, but couldn’t do anything.
The most help I got was from the deeply courageous Soraya Q. Teacher asked me a question about the text, laughed at my answer, and asked the class if anyone could help me get the right answer so I wouldn’t have to be wrong forever.
Soraya raised her hand and answered, verbatim, staring the teacher dead in the eye, every word I had said. The teacher looked disgusted, said that was not just the correct answer but the best way she’d ever heard it phrased. Another student started to protest and I told him to shut up, that I didn’t want anyone else hurt over this.
The next day the teacher suggested we do some show and tell, to offer insight into situations other students couldn’t experience: What was it like to be in your band, Stephen? How does it feel to be the only Jewish student, Zachery? What was it like losing your father to cancer this week, Soraya?
The last time I heard Soraya speak, she was repeating my words to the vilest woman I have ever met.
The pettiest move, and the last I was present to see her pull, was ruling against my word in Scrabble on the last day of class. She was very clear at the outset: If the word was not in this dictionary, it could not be played.
Now, at this point in my life, I’ve played Scrabble just about once a month since I could spell. It’s one of the few ways my grandmother and I could interact. So I’m pretty good at this game. The teacher tells everyone to break into groups of three and start play.
She follows me to my group and joins. The other players are visibly distressed and basically don’t play. They avoid anything that will get them points. But not McCalister, Queen Jerk of Senior High. She does her hardest, taking ten minutes a turn, checking things in her dictionary.
My last turn is ‘raze’, finishing my tiles and using a triple word score, and spelling ‘za’ in another direction. Not only do I take the lead, but it will basically be impossible in her remaining turn to get that many points.
Her first complaint is that I can’t use the triple word score in both directions, I have to choose.
Actually no, I have to take whichever direction is the fewest points. To be fair to the other players (whatever that means) As she does the math in her head she changes her mind again. I can’t play the word, because za isn’t in the dictionary.
I ask if it’s a formal challenge. She says no, it’s a ruling. I say the dictionary makes the ruling and turn to the Z’s. She says it’s her board and her dictionary and her rules and I can’t play raze and I need to leave.
I congratulate her on winning, leaving the dictionary open to ‘za’. I then proceed to fail AP English, but the exam proctor finds out that I’ve tried to change the class I’m in and some other teacher is keeping me here against my wishes. The proctor institutes a new policy: take the AP exam and she’ll overwrite your grade to one comparable to your score.
This means that when I got a 3 on the exam, I got that in the class. Even so, Queen Jerk then requires me to take remedial reading. On day one, the remedial teacher tells me she knows what’s going on, and I can do anything I want with that time.
She has no problem overruling the decision and can place me in the normal class.
Instead, I take the time to relax. I learn to program, make a couple of short films, and apply to college. Mrs. McCalister remains, to this day, my proof that justice is a lie and must therefore be fought for at every opportunity. It doesn’t happen by mistake, because she’s doing fine, still teaching.”
15. If You're Going To Be Loud Neighbors, Don't Yell Out Your Credit Card Information
“Was staying at my partner’s house and a couple of houses away was a group of people who would party late into the night, go out and then begin partying again.
One night after having a very interrupted sleep I overheard one of the girls in the house loudly ordering pizza from an all-night place in the cross (this is in Sydney).
She gave her credit card number and I quickly copied it down.
The next day I went on a flower delivery site and delivered an $80 bouquet to the 4 houses around the house on either side of the street with a note saying ‘sorry for the noise, we apologize and won’t do it again.’
They have been quiet ever since.”
14. Girl Empties Entire Apartment To Get Back At Roommate
“During freshman year of college, this girl (girl A) became best friends with her dorm-mate (girl B). Absolutely inseparable, and eerily similar in personality, hobbies, major choice, etc. In their second year, they decided to move into an apartment together but also started to grow distant.
Girl B would complain constantly, was rife with boy trouble and drama, partied all the time, and used a lot of the food and amenities purchased by girl A.
After months of growing tension, girl A wanted to have a Halloween party. Girl B gave permission, but blew off girl A’s invitation and went to another party.
When she came back the next morning she complained about having to clean the apartment (it was barely messy, some empty pizza boxes and liters of soda, girl A and her friends are green and vanilla as can be, so there was very little booze, mostly just soda and board games).
So after this unnecessarily mean tirade about cleaning an apartment that didn’t really need it, following a party that she gave girl A permission to have, girl A decided it was time to take action.
Girl A moved everything she brought with her to the apartment when they moved in into her bedroom while girl B was asleep.
The next morning girl B walked out of her room to find the apartment was basically empty. The couch, the television, most of the kitchen utensils, most of the food, the lamps….the only thing left was the coffee and side tables, and whatever frozen food girl B had bought, as well as a random assortment of mostly useless junk.
It was the most hilariously petty, yet sorta justified thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
Another User Comments:
“I did that once. Put everything I owned in the backyard shed and locked it until my roommate paid me back. He watched tv on the floor for a week then paid me back.
We brought everything back into the house and everything was fine. Then he moved out while I was at work and the landlord finally told me he hadn’t paid rent in months and stole the certified mail with the charges so I thought everything was peachy. It was not peachy.” snowflaker
13. Mess With Me And I'll Keep You in Fear The Whole Day
“I was 19 and visiting my partner (18F) and was staying in her younger brother’s (13ishM) room. I woke up in the morning and realized someone had locked me into the room (his room had a lock on the outside of it). I just went back to sleep – no big deal.
Anyway, my partner finds out I am locked in the room and lets me out an hour or so later. Her brother thinks he is so funny. I really couldn’t care less.
He, on the other hand, was certain I would do something to get him back.
He sent his two younger sisters (10F & 8F) to find out what I was going to do to get back at him. So I started making stuff up. Like telling them I was going to grab him and give him a face wash in the snow or that I was going to hold him down and let his sisters tickle him until he peed his pants, but that whatever I was going to do it was going to happen that day.
All day his little sisters are feeding him information about what I was telling them. They were having a great time tormenting him.
He stayed away from me the whole day.
So that night my partner and I were going out to dinner and we weren’t coming home until late.
Her brother comes waltzing into the room acting all confident and says ‘I knew you wouldn’t do anything to me’, to which I replied ‘The day isn’t over yet.’ He drops to his knees and begs me to do something, anything to him so it can be over.
His parents burst out laughing, knowing I was never going to touch him. I told him I already got my revenge. It took him about a minute to realize he had been in torment the whole day without me lifting a finger.
He has told me since that he used the same thing a few times.”
12. We Got Back At His Ex By Mobbing Her At The Movie Theatre
“My friend’s ex. She was quite the jerk and deserved to be dumped, she treated my friend like trash and saw him as nothing more than a pair of lips. After they broke up she refused to talk to us. Fast forward 2 months she’s still a bit bitter at most of our group with the exception of me.
She wanted me. So she asks me out. That’s when we came up with a brilliant plan. In order to put as much distance between her and me, along with making her feel extremely uncomfortable, we decided that everyone would just so conveniently be at the movie theater when we were there. This included her ex and his current partner. The look on her face when she was essentially flash mobbed and completely ignored for the night was priceless.”
11. I Can't Stop Replacing My Roommate's Raw Eggs With Boiled Ones
“My roommate eats fried eggs every day for breakfast. He buys the big 4.5 dozen pack and puts them in the back of the fridge. I like to pull 4 or 5 random eggs, boil them, then place them back in their spots. I have been doing it so long that he thinks the packaging process of the eggs is causing it.
His parents think he’s stupid for claiming the farm sometimes cooks an egg, so when I visit them I do the same thing to them and now they also think the farms somehow cook an egg in the packaging process. His mother even called Hiland and asked them to be more careful in packaging eggs because they keep cooking them.
It’s nothing major but I think it’s funny.”
Another User Comments:
“But what did he do to you?” vic825
Reply:
“I can’t even remember since this has been going on for about 7 years. I think he borrowed a tool of mine to fix something and broke my tool.
I still boil his eggs to this day because I don’t know how to tell him it has been me this whole time and his parents haven’t put it together yet that their eggs are boiled only when I visit.” Reddit User
Another User Comments:
“I salute you! When did it occur to you to boil his parents’ eggs? I’m imagining some kind of weird Eureka moment.” notdrowningman
Reply:
“It was actually an accident.
I was hanging out at his home during summer break and I decided to boil a couple of eggs in his parents’ fridge since I knew he would eat eggs the next morning. I left and came back to visit 2-3 days later where I learned that his mother tried to bake something and grabbed one of the boiled eggs. There was an ‘I TOLD YOU!’ moment and now they all think Hiland boils eggs during packaging somehow. In a way, this pleases me more…” Reddit User
10. I Hung Bird Feeders To Get Back At My Awful Neighbors
“The neighbors directly below me were loud, constantly smoked on their patio (and coughed like amateurs after every hit), had loud friends over at all hours, and were just young dumb and imposing in every way. Management said there was nothing they could do. I put two birdbaths on my patio and hung bird feeders all along the railing and above it.
I had to take it all down after a few weeks, but the glorious damage was already done and they seldom went out on their patio after that.”
Another User Comments:
“I had a similar problem when the tenant below me was grilling right under my deck such that the fumes were seeping into my apartment.
They almost killed us. (I called management and they moved it 10 feet away.)
As revenge, I left some trash bags open with food for several weeks. Got a call about maggots falling on them: told management it was a dead bird on my deck that I cleaned up (snicker).” soulcatcher357
9. Dare To Disrupt The Movie? Good Luck Leaving The Theatre When It's Done
“Went to go see Ex Machina at a super expensive chain movie theater with waiters, food, a bar, etc.
The guy sitting about 5 seats away was treating it like MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000) talking, making jokes, commentary, and all. I went out and told a manager who came in for 5 minutes, but once he left, the guy started back up.
My wife is one of those people who is mortified if I say anything to correct someone’s behavior, even if politely, so I had to sit there and stew.
When we left, I passed by the guy and got in front of him and his wife. I held the exit door open for my wife and just before he came through, I shut it in his face and held it until he walked around to another door. Screw that guy.”
8. Betray Me? I'll Drive Through Your Garage Door
“My good friend got married to a guy that she met online. He was originally from the town we lived in but he was stationed at a naval base in Washington state at the time. She found out that he two-timed her and she went insane.
She hopped in her car and drove from Iowa to Washington straight through. When she arrived in town she was even more crazed and high on caffeine and she went to his house and drove straight through his garage door. He was at work at the time and by the time he got home she had systematically destroyed every single thing he owned.
Right down to taking every single cd out of its case and breaking it in half. She also used a can of spray paint to write ‘liar’ on every surface. The level of damage was outrageous. There really wasn’t anything salvageable. The best part…those jerks are STILL married. Nuts.”
7. Keep Controlling The Thermostat And You'll End Up Drinking A Special Liquid
“I once had a pretty toxic roommate. He was an army reserve officer and a fraternity brother of mine. I lived in a house that he bought, along with three other students. He consistently set the thermostat at 59 degrees during the winter, and we lived in one of the coldest parts of Maryland.
We would occasionally turn it up, but he’d complain and moan about it and he’d turn it back down. Eventually, the girl in the 5th bedroom, which was in the basement caught pneumonia and actually had to return home for a spell even while she was in her final semester.
Anyway, he eventually bought a lockbox and installed it around the thermostat. One day while he was at the pizza place he owned, I found his keys and figured out which one corresponded with the thermostat. We made a copy of it and hid it in an agreed-upon location.
Inside a Bruce Lee VHS. He was so confused when the thermostat kept creeping up and he had no idea why.
One night all of us roommates went out together, the girl and I were both in Greek life and ran around the same crowds and same parties.
So she and I went bar hopping, eventually returning home because she had run out of insulin. We were locked out. She called and called but the guy who was home wouldn’t let us in, so we broke in through a kitchen window and damaged some weatherstripping in the process.
He expected us to pay him way more than it would’ve cost to fix it.
Here’s the coup de grâce. He decided to steal my laptop, I’ll never know why. I eventually got it back, but I needed one sweet last form of revenge before leaving for the semester.
We had a deep freeze that had all sorts of steaks, ground beef, etc. I built up a nice fire in our grill in the middle of winter…and cooked up two of his Delmonico’s for me and the pneumonia girl. After a few drinks, I went back down to the basement and saw ice cube trays in that same deep freeze.
I filled them up for him and told the rest of the roommates not to use those ice cubes. After I got back home for winter break pneumonia girl knew what I had done, and told me that he used my pee ice cubes in a drink.”
6. Got Back At His Friend By Placing Annoying Speakers Everywhere
“A buddy of mine had this mini-feud with an old friend/next-door neighbor and it got a bit extreme for me. What he did was he bought these things called Annoy-A-Tron which are these little speakers that make beeping buzzing sounds at different intervals and random frequencies so you never get used to it.
They put these things in different rooms of his apartment, inside the wall sockets. Not only that but they plugged in some input device inside his pc tower that would type random stuff into wherever your cursor is. So he’d be googling or typing a paper or something and all of a sudden his pc would type ‘you seem lonely maybe you should get a cat’… no idea what happened to him.”
5. Vacations Sometimes Can't Mend Friendships
“I planned to go on a trip to Amsterdam and Paris in 2007, with a girl I was friends with and her family. We buy plane and train tickets, figure out hotel accommodations, and all that. I’d literally never spent more money in my life than I had then.
A few weeks before we go, my friend starts acting like a grade-A jerk. To the point where had my tickets all not been non-transferable/non-refundable, I would have just either gotten my money back from the airlines, etc or would have sold my tickets. But I buck up and tell myself we’ll actually be better friends for having gone through all of this.
I told myself lies, is what I did, lol.
The first week or so, there are annoyances, but I’m mostly glad I came. We were on the return train from Paris back to Amsterdam, when I made a joke about the luggage. (Note: we had been told at one point, that people will sometimes hop on slowing trains, steal luggage, and hawk the goods.
Because of this, we took turns at stops, watching the luggage. We were coming up on ‘my’ turn at this point in the rotation.)
The joke goes like this: the train had started slowing a bit, but was still traveling at least ~40-50mph. ‘Friend’ tells me I need to go check the stuff.
I casually make a joke along the lines ‘if someone can jump on the train at this speed, they can have the stuff.’
She looks at me, throws her drink in my face (what, are we in a movie, or something?), and runs to literally cry to/on her parents.
I looked at her brother and his partner, shocked. They look back, equally shocked. Her brother tells me anything I want to do in revenge, he’s got my back 100%.
So we finally get back to Amsterdam, CrazyPants is acting like nothing happened, even though I’m still covered in liquid.
We check into our hotel room, and after we unpack a bit, I say I’d like a shower. CrazyPants goes and hangs out with her family while I freshen up.
CrazyPants is a tried and true, dyed in the wool, germaphobe. She wouldn’t get to-go coffee, because you didn’t know who’d touched and whether or not they were sick, that sort.
I used her razor to shave my armpits and legs, and even my arms, just because. I hawked a loogie in her loofah and worked it in deep. I spit in her shampoo and conditioner and used her toothbrush to clean my nails.
I never told her either. Sometimes, you don’t need to know I got revenge. Sometimes, it’s enough for me to know.”
4. He Got Mad When I Accidentally Buzzed His Number So I Kept Doing It
“One time visiting a friend in an apartment building I buzzed the wrong number by mistake and was let in. When I got to his door his neighbor started yelling at me for buzzing her number by mistake. (Why’d you let me in without saying anything?)
From that point on every time I left the building I buzzed her number.”
3. Make Me Do All the Work? I'll Make Sure Your Hands Are Never Clean
“My cousin and I are painters and my car has been out so I’ve been catching rides with him. He’s using it as leverage to make me do almost all the work while he just sprays. Well, one morning he was relentlessly picking on me, which by itself doesn’t bother me, but it sure does when I’m the only one trying to get this house masked off.
So I waited until we were doing the baseboards when he uses his shield (a 3-foot piece of metal on a pole to place on top of the trim to reduce overspray on the walls.)
Well, he cleans his shield every 10-15 mins in this little bucket of water and his face every hour. I peed in it. A full 8 hours of washing his hands and face with my pee.”
2. Keep Bothering The Customers And I'll Start A Food Fight
“This was about 9 years ago, but it’s easily the craziest thing I’ve ever done in a public place. I and 3 buddies, after attending a Coheed and Cambria concert (yes, 9 years ago way before they were popular) went to a local Jack n’ the Box to dine; the common theme for us considering we smoked a lot back then.
So, as we are in the lobby, there is a kid about 13 or so unattended with who I presumed to be his little brother. I’m guessing he was 9. The 13-year-old is walking around in the lobby harassing customers and employees alike, saying stupid little things like, ‘I’m gonna get all the food and eat it, you idiot!’ ‘I want a shake!’ ‘You’re old, you old jerk! (told old people, obviously)’ and just other really ill, ignorant type of nonsense 13-year-olds shouldn’t be saying.
This kid proceeded to walk around the dining area and pull the same antics. We are sitting down chowing on the fine deep-fried Tacos and all four of us kinda looked at each other and came to the same conclusion.
We all open-faced our tacos and put them in our respectable throwing arms, my first buddy grabs the back of this kid’s head and smashes the open-face taco right in the kisser.
I and my 2 other buddies all proceed to food attack him with tacos one way or another. Keep in mind JNB really was on a campaign kick that they didn’t, ‘Make it until you order it’ so the tacos were still pretty hot from being deep-fried.
To make matters worse I drenched him in soda and threw a chair on top of him.
I can’t recall what happened to the kid’s brother.”
1. Vegetarian Covered Me In Ice So I Covered Her Car In Meat
“Once, some friends and I got into an ‘ice fight’ where we got small pieces of Sonic-type ice and poured it on each other. Well, I dumped a pitcher of ice on this one girl, lol’d, and ran away to my car to go home.
This girl pulled some assassin’s creed nonsense next. She and her two friends filled up HUGE containers of ice and beat me to my house. They waited in the neighbor’s bushes until I pulled up. As soon as I pulled into the garage, they sprinted in, opened my driver’s side door, and covered me in ice.
I was livid.
So that night I got the main girl’s number and started texting her. As we talked, I slowly plotted my revenge according to little nuances that I picked up on: she’s a vegetarian, she takes good care of her car, etc.
So about three weeks later, I struck.
While she was in church (I’m from south MS, don’t hate her), I ran to Walmart and bought my supplies. I don’t remember the little things I bought, but I do remember getting a package of ground beef and, by chance, I found a bottle of fake popcorn flavoring.
I drove to where her car was parked and put the ground beef EVERYWHERE: on the steering wheel, under the door handle, in between the seats (keep in mind it’s 100 degrees outside with 90% humidity AND she’s an ardent animal rights vegetarian). I sprayed the popcorn scent thing into her carpets and soaked them with it.
It was the most putrid smell I’ve ever smelled. It was a smelly smell that smelled smelly. Just gross.
As soon as she found it, she called me and was almost in tears. The paint had chipped where the meat was on the outside; you couldn’t even sit in the car because of the smell.
It was rough. She was so angry and had to spend like $80 to fix it all and even still you can catch whiffs of popcorn when driving around.
Naturally, we became best friends, fell in love, and have been seeing each other for 6 months now.
Cheers.”
Another User Comments:
“I am that girl and can confirm. the meat was terrible and so not even on the same level as pouring frozen water on someone. The people at the car wash had never heard of such and probably still haven’t.
Oh and plot twist we got together after that to prank the two other girls by filling one of their cars with dead tree branches full of various insects and arachnids.” anneclairebrewer
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