People Have Us Revisit Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories With Them

"Recently my partner and I had our first child. He was an accident, but a miracle as she wasn’t supposed to be able to have kids.

Long story short - my useless mother-in-law now lives with us, rent-free. We bought her a car. We helped her get some affairs in order - financially and also because she’s too clueless to do it herself.

All in the agreement she would be in-home child care. Financially beneficial for us, but also a good opportunity to have a relationship with her grandson and vice versa instead of paying for a stranger to care for him.

The problem is that she is useless.

She doesn’t help. She complains about taking him for more than an hour, or if we ask her to take him for a night so we can try and get caught up. Literally, the whole reason she lives with us. My partner is still on maternity leave for another two weeks but I have been cranking out normal days, coming home to cook, clean, and do my part in caring for my son. I’m not asking for someone to do MY part in raising my son, but simply asking for the help we expected and agreed upon.

I’ve mentioned a few times that at this point, she needs to go. She is nothing more than a burden, financially and emotionally.

She is taking advantage of the ONE PERSON who was still willing to take her in (long backstory on her mother but she was kicked out of her sister's house - my partner's aunt). We are blessed to both have good-paying jobs and at this point, I'd rather pay to have someone properly take care of my son because she has proven she can not.

For example - she took an entire week off work to 'help' and didn’t come out of her room the entire time, minus one hour per day that she took him, but refused to feed him or change his diaper. She does nothing in the house to help, which is unacceptable even without a kid.

She even had the audacity to tell me she was going to be a STAY-AT-HOME GRANDMA and expected us to pay her bills! She works LESS than 20 hours a week.

AITJ for wanting to send her back out into the jungle? We don’t need her, in any way, shape, or form.

It’s like having two kids."

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. I wouldn't let her stay either. You both have enough on your plate and you don't need another stressor. Being a new parent is stressful enough. Just be prepared for her family to come at you and tell you you're the bad guy... you're not.

It'll just be them not wanting to deal with her themselves. Use your block button, that's why God made it. Haha. Congrats on the baby!" kelliesharpe

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. I think you need to work out a solid financial agreement here. Who pays for what, and what things cost. She gets a room, utilities, groceries, etc and it is valued at $X.

She also participates as an adult in the house splitting the workload 1/3 each (you, your wife, her) for housekeeping duties. She babysits at $Y an hour. $x-$y = how much she pays you to stay there each week. If she doesn’t do her share of the house cleaning she is out, or she is paying that back also at $z an hour (whatever your hourly rate is). Watch her get seriously butt hurt about this, declare you hate her, and remind her you have gifted her a car, financial counseling, and home until now. And then stand firm to it. She’ll pack up and move on to the next mooch." Particular-Try5584