People Contemplate Their Values In Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

Unsplash
Your values might be the most important thing to you, but there are always going to be people who challenge you and tell you that their values are better. However, what do you do in a situation where someone makes you wonder if you're a jerk for believing what you think is right? Well, there's only one thing you can do -- read on and let us know who you think the jerk really is! AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk YTJ = You're the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? EHS = Everyone here sucks

15. AITJ For Canceling A Family Trip After My Wife Purposely Left Out My Son?

Pexels

“Situation is a bit messy so bear with me.

I M42 have two boys, Adam 16 & Leo 14. Their mom passed away 5 years ago and I married my wife Rose about a year ago. Rose adores both of my boys but complains about Leo being overly uptight and closed up.

It’s true that he likes to keep to himself, and doesn’t participate in most family functions but that’s just how he is. My wife has taken it personally and kept saying that Leo clearly doesn’t like her and/or doesn’t like spending time with her.

What she started doing was trying to exclude him from events under the excuse of “he wouldn’t be interested anyway” which I thought was wrong because he’s picked up on that and started asking why. So I told my wife to just do her part and give him the choice to decide whether he wants to participate or not and not outright exclude him.

I’d been arranging for a family trip and days ago I booked tickets/hotel reservations upon deciding our destination. Note that I was paying for the entire thing. But the day of the trip I found out that Leo’s ticket had been canceled, I was dumbfounded to discover it was my wife who canceled it.

I immediately confronted her and she said she figured Leo wouldn’t want to come but she knew he said he’d go. She tried to argue that due to his “moody personality and introvert nature” he’d change his mind last minute or go on the trip but turn it into a miserable experience for us all.

I got so mad at her especially after she tried pressuring me to leave him with his aunt.

I canceled the entire trip, all tickets, all reservations everything. She blew up at me and started lashing out. I had the boys unpack and I did the same which made her go crazy and yell at everyone in the house.

She went to stay with her sister while exposing what I did to the rest of the family who thought I made a big deal out of it and shouldn’t have canceled the trip that I promised the whole family.

Edit: I am planning another trip with the boys (without my wife) but right now there’s a huge conflict in the family and even Adam is upset and blames Leo for what happened. I’m trying to get everyone to calm down then we’ll see where this goes.

Edit: I spoke with Adam. Turns out, Rose told him I canceled the trip after Leo changed his mind “last minute” and that I decided to cancel it for everyone else and fought with her when she tried to convince me to go anyway and let Leo go stay with his aunt.

This is just….I don’t know what to say to be frankly honest. Adam didn’t even want to talk but I told him we needed to talk. He and Leo aren’t speaking right now because of this and I’m struggling to clean up this mess.

I was actually thinking about calling Rose but after this, I’ve decided I need more space than she does. I will have the boys sit together (it’s hard to do it but I’ll try) and talk this out so I can focus on the other major issue I have with what Rose did.”

Another User Comments:

“She doesn’t “adore both your boys.” She clearly doesn’t like Leo and would prefer to just not have to deal with him.

There’s no other reasonable explanation for her behavior.

You’re NTJ. Your wife is attempting to exclude one of your children from multiple family activities. She isn’t asking for his input and then trying to accommodate his desires. She’s simply trying to leave him out of it.

This is about her, not him.

Sorry to say, but it appears you may have to make a choice between your wife and your son in the future. Choose wisely.” NuketheCow_

Another User Comments:

“NTJ – For now but more needs to be done.

As someone who had a stepparent like this, I can’t tell you enough about the lasting impact it had on me until my early 30s.

Your son will know what’s going on and it will hurt him. Your relationship with Rose is new, but your relationship with your son is for life.

Please take your kids on a trip without her to connect and reassure your boys you love them for who they are. There is nothing wrong with being introverted, he will grow at his own pace and at his own time.

But as their father you HAVE to show your commitment to them early. It will impact their relationship as brothers as well if you let Rose continue this behavior.” StayMadFFXIV

Another User Comments:

“So you’re married a year.

She “adored” the boys before your wedding? The bullying started after the wedding? As usual – all these narcissists pretend until their victim is locked in.

And then they begin to show their real selves. She never adored your kids. She pretended to before the wedding to sucker you into marrying her.

I hope you have a prenup. The person you married doesn’t exist – that was a mirage devised to lure you into marrying her.

You need to choose between your wife and your son.

This bullying is not going to stop: it’s going to escalate.

She must already feel quite comfortable bullying your son if she’s happy to blatantly cancel his tickets and exclude him.

Speak to your son. Lots of bullying is going on that you’re not aware of. He’s afraid and ashamed to tell you. And she’s not going to incriminate herself.

NTJ.” Bruiscear

Another User Comments:

“ESH except for the kids. Rose sucks for the way she has treated your son, and you suck for not immediately divorcing someone who would treat him this way (“What she started doing was try to exclude him from events…”).

Your solution was to try to work it out (“I told my wife to just do her part…”). You are their only living parent. As soon as Rose started pulling that crap it should have been seen for the whole field of red flags that it is. Poor Rose wanted perfect children and didn’t get that, so she punished the one who didn’t conform to HER expectations. And you let her do that.” Izzy4162305

4 points (4 votes)
Post

User Image
Pabs7 1 month ago
She’s forcing you into a choice between her and your son Leo. She does not adore your children. She can’t stand Leo and INTENTIONALLY excludes him. She cancelled his ticket for the family trip and then lied and said you did.

She’s at her sisters house? Tell her to stay there and send divorce papers. Hopefully you did a pre-nup to protect your finances.
4 Reply
View 4 more comments

14. AITJ For Telling My Roommate That I Can't Stand Living With Her Anymore?

Unsplash

“To begin, at the beginning of August, I moved in with 2 random college roommates in an off-campus townhouse. I signed the lease with two other girls, we will call them H and S.

S turned out to not be a very good roommate but this story is not about her.

She moved in and hasn’t stayed a night over since. She also abandoned a lizard that was on the brink of death when I found it in her room. Anyway, S is out of the picture now and I thought everything would be fine in a spacious apartment with just one other roommate.

H and I got along for months, and I would even call her a friend.

She is a nice girl but she is a hypochondriac and allows her partner to treat her like crap. She has caught him multiple times talking with other girls, going out with other girls, and has called her a jerk on her birthday, and that is just the beginning.

I have been supportive of her every time she comes home crying because of him.

On top of the drama, H has 2 cats that completely ruin the place. She does not tend to the litter box as often as she should but insists on keeping it in a closet in the kitchen.

It stinks up the whole apartment. Not to mention both of the cats are males and have a dominance issue that leads to spraying. She has put off getting them fixed multiple times, and now it’s to the point that the apartment literally reeks of cat.

H is also horrible at cleaning up after herself. She leaves rotting food in her room for weeks at a time and doesn’t understand you have to use hot water when cleaning dishes. They are left all caked in food and slippery with grease.

Since S moved out a while ago, H and I have been looking for another roommate.

My good friend and old roommate D just got back from a 6 month trip in France and wanted to move into the extra room. H and I happily obliged.

Today, D texted me saying that she was uncomfortable living in the apartment because it reeks and gave her a headache after staying for just a day.

I keep to myself in my closed-off room when I am home, so I don’t really smell it too much. I brought up this situation with H, suggesting we move the litter box to her room since she has the largest bedroom (by far) and it would help solve some of the issues.

H completely freaked out and said that she refuses to move the box to her room because she doesn’t want her room to smell like poop (even though if she cleaned it regularly, this wouldn’t be an issue) and that she doesn’t have room since her partner is going to be moving into it with her.

This was complete news to me. He expected to live here rent-free, use my refrigerator, tv, everything but chip in a little for utilities.

I finally snapped and told her that D and I are moving out immediately and that her partner can take over my lease.

I told her that I am tired of living in a litter box with someone so unwilling to compromise, let alone respect a shared space.

Now, I’m not going to pretend I’m the best roommate. I leave clutter around every once in a while, usually mail or school work for a day or 2.

But I’m not dirty.

I on one hand feel guilty for snapping and causing conflict right before classes start, but I don’t know if I can handle another semester with her. I also want to live with my friend I have missed for half a year, but I want it to be pleasant for everyone.

So then, am I the jerk for snapping at my roommate and moving out suddenly?”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ, they’re her cats and she should take responsibility for their mess, and moving her partner in without asking is even more of a jerk move in my opinion.

I was in a similar situation, I had a roommate in a double who used to kick me out of the room completely for the entire weekend because his partner was visiting (this started happening every other weekend on the most fun weekends of the year), and even though I wasn’t the cleanest roommate either, I finally snapped when he told me on a Friday afternoon that I had to pack up and leave for the weekend without any notice.

Moved out a few weeks later.” beesiemac

Another User Comments:

“NTJ. That girl is an absolute unstable disaster who doesn’t need to have pets at all. You were looking out for your own health because living in an environment like that is INCREDIBLY hazardous long-term.” AllyEnderman

3 points (3 votes)
Post

User Image
ankn 1 month ago
NTJ I've moved
out long ago.
2 Reply

13. WIBTJ If I Didn't Tell My Vegetarian Partner That He Ate Meat?

Pexels

“My partner is a vegetarian and has been for years. I only consume fish and eggs outside of a plant-based diet (I don’t claim to be vegan or vegetarian by any means). Not crucial, but may be seen as relevant as the story progresses.

So, the other night my partner comes home from a big night out with some of his pals with a half-eaten burger in hand, he takes a bite heading through the doorway and he was not at an event that serves meat substitutes (it was a beef hamburger).

I approached him happily and tucked the remainder of the burger into the bottom of the bin. He was ‘black out’ wasted as stated by his friends three hours earlier.

This is not normal behavior for him, I don’t personally have any hang-ups about him eating meat I just know this would cause him a lot of stress if he found out he consumed any.

Additionally, his friends gleefully reaffirmed it was beef.

Would I be the jerk for not telling my partner he ate a beef hamburger on his big night out?

Edit: I let him know in the morning. Thank you for your judgment.

He was pretty upset at going back on his moral convictions and we had a conversation about it the morning after. I told him his overall intentions outshine a misstep and he felt a bit better after the chat.

No word on if he will talk to his friends about it, but I let him know he has my full support if he chooses to do so. He was unwell in the morning but he attributes it to the amount of booze he had.”

Another User Comments:

“Soft YTJ.

I hate calling you a jerk for this because that seems extreme.

If I went against my beliefs because I got wasted, no matter how much it would upset me, I would want to (and deserve to) know. He needs the full info to be able to make his own choices; “do I want to stop drinking to avoid going against my beliefs?” “Are these truly my friends if they didn’t stop me?”

He deserves to know the truth about things that happens to him, IMO.” Acrobatic-Ad6350

Another User Comments:

“NTJ I think this is an occasion for discretion.

You pretend you don’t know anything about his big night out. Have you ever been blackout wasted? You are conscious, can walk and talk, but you don’t really know what is going on. You could be coaxed into eating or drinking anything.

If he gets blackout wasted then this isn’t the first time he’s eaten beef or any other kind of meat. This might be normal behavior for him but you just don’t know it. How often does he get out with these particular friends?

EDIT: He might be upset to find out you learned his secret is what I’m getting at.

If you told him he ate meat, you are also telling him you know he gets blackout wasted with his friends and everything else that implies.” disruptionisbliss

Another User Comments:

“Soft YTJ.

I read that these are high school buddies that you don’t want to ruin the nostalgia for by telling him, but it could also be a health issue.

I’m not sure how long he’s been a Vegetarian, but long-term vegans and vegetarians lose the ability to make the protein that breaks down the myoglobin found in red meats over time. This can cause huge digestive issues. I, myself, grew up in a pollotarian family that doesn’t eat red meat or pork.

I was once fed red meat “as a joke” by a friend when I was 10ish and was hospitalized because I couldn’t break down the myoglobin. The pain was excruciating and I will honestly never forget it. Something similar could have happened, and still could happen, to him.

By telling him, he then gets to choose how he acts afterward. Maybe it’s having a genuine convo with his friends about his choice to be a vegetarian, so they understand. Maybe it’s threatening to stop hanging out with them if they don’t respect his choices.

Or maybe he chooses to ignore it. But it really needs to be his decision.” DrAniB20

Another User Comments:

“NTJ – you are trying to protect him, but how do you imagine his jerk friends are going to behave?

You don’t think that they will be rubbing this in his face, you don’t think they have photos and video?

If you talk to him in advance then he can get ready to deal with them.

His friends are the jerks here, in case that wasn’t obvious.” tomtomclubthumb

3 points (3 votes)
Post

User Image
Alliauraa 3 weeks ago
NTJ Glad you told him. Btw. You're a Pescatarian. Look it up.
Vegetarian is easier to use as a term because not many people know what a pescatarian is.
0 Reply

12. AITJ For Wanting My Neighbors To Keep The Noise Down?

Unsplash

“I know that this already seems like a fairly straightforward question, but I feel that there are a few things that could skew the situation in either direction.

For context, I’m a senior college student swimming in the midst of finals right now.

I’ve admittedly been having a tough time with the amount of coursework I’ve been keeping up with. I have three studios, two other classes, and an incomplete from last semester that I’ve been working on concurrently. I think that situational stress, anxiety, and depression (I see a therapist so please don’t think I’m trying to pull those diagnoses out of my butt) are clouding my judgment, so I wanted to ask a wider audience about the situation.

I live in an apartment complex.

Several months ago the neighbors directly adjacent to us moved out after rent got hiked up. A new neighbor of course moved in, but I honestly cannot stand her and the family she has over constantly.

It seems that she and all of her adult friends/family smoke, so there is constantly somebody hacking up a lung immediately outside of my door, which I tolerate since that’s something technically out of their control.

But, another consequence of them all being smokers is that they’re all constantly gathering right in front of our doors (their door is situated very close to mine) and having conversations that are typically so loud that I can clearly hear them through my door.

They have also started bringing over young children who constantly yell and have tantrums. The noise happens most often from around 6:00 pm to 11:00/12:00 am give or take a few hours.

There have been three separate occasions where I have asked this woman’s guests to quiet down.

I think that it’s the fact that the people who are causing the noise don’t actually live here that irritates me. The latest occurrence was yesterday morning (9:30 am) when I was studying and having breakfast before classes. I was drinking coffee when somebody started pounding on their door (which of course, sounds like pounding on my door).

The knocking was so loud and violent that it sounded like the police had a substance bust. I opened my door, and a high school-age girl was standing at their door, presumably a friend of the neighbor’s daughter. I opened the door, told her to stop, and closed it again to continue my breakfast.

That night when I came back from my classes, the neighbor had posted a note on her door with a fat red ‘warning’ sign on the top.

I, unfortunately, don’t have a picture, but the basic gist of the sign is that she’s old and sick (she’s maybe in her mid-forties to mid-fifties, but since she smokes it’s hard to tell) and that she has family over a lot because of that.

She also wrote that curfew is at 10:00 pm, which makes me think she believes she and her family have the right to be as loud as they want until then. She ended the note by saying that anybody who had an issue should go to management, which I’m tempted to do.

The note irritates me because I had the courtesy of talking to her directly in person about the issue, and she retorted with a passive-aggressive note that was pretty obviously directed towards me since I believe I’m the only one who has confronted her about the noise.

I know that noise from neighbors is a part of living in an apartment situation, but I also believe that it’s their responsibility to be respectful neighbors which include any family or friends that happen to be visiting as well.

Noise from other people is a major stressor for me, and I have no way to escape from their noise as it carries as far as the bedroom at times. I didn’t think I was being particularly rude when asking her and her family/friends to quiet down (except in the last incident, I was definitely cranky), but her note on the door makes me feel like I may be wrong.”

Another User Comments:

“ESH.

Your neighbor is a jerk. But unless you have noise rules for your apartment that say otherwise 0800 – 2100 seems fair game to live. If they had contractors in working on the place drilling and the like would you complain in that period (and if you would how could you ever expect to get work done yourself)? However, for all the slamming and banging outside, your neighbor and her guests are scum.

If they were settling a small child and you were making that amount of noise then they would be livid, therefore your annoyance is justified.

Use the rules of your building to your advantage and inform your building management company.

If they take no action, talk to your local authority regarding noise bylaws in your area and what they cover.” ThirtyMileSniper

Another User Comments:

“NTJ, but my solution wouldn’t be to deal with it just yet.

You’re in the middle of finals, stuff is heavy! Trying to deal with annoying neighbors is a huge extra headache.

Can you not just go to the library or a study room and work there? That’s one thing I miss about college… all the amazing resources. I would be out of my house alllll day.

I’m assuming you’ve only got a week of studying left, just go into hyper study speed and camp out at a quiet place on campus for the next few days and completely ignore your neighbors. Don’t let them in your head. Then, when you’re all done with exams and the stress and pressure are gone, deal with them when you have a more level head and free time!” reallydrowsy

2 points (2 votes)
Post

User Image
TJHall44 1 month ago
Nta call the apartment manager every single time until they address it
2 Reply

11. AITJ For Being Angry At My Uncle For Buying Me A Vanilla Birthday Cake?

Pexels

“I (17f) had my birthday 3 days ago. The birthday party was arranged at my own place. I have two maternal cousins, let’s call them Namif (15m) and Ela (13f) who love vanilla cakes a lot (they don’t hate chocolate cakes but they always prefer vanilla over chocolate by a high margin).

I have always hated vanilla cakes since childhood. I never liked the smell or the taste, none of it. And I have always preferred and loved chocolate cakes. So obviously I wanted a chocolate cake for my birthday instead of wanting a vanilla cake which I won’t even be able to eat.

The arrangement was almost done and it was time to buy the birthday cake. I told my mom we should go together and buy a cake. My maternal uncle (42m) then said that he will go, choose and buy the cake with Namif and told me not to go cause it was really hot outside at 36° Celsius and that I will feel sick.

I and my mom both said, we will go and buy it because I wanna choose my own birthday cake. My maternal uncle then assured me that he will buy the cake according to my choice which I will love.

Seeing me since childhood he knows I don’t like vanilla cakes. Again my mom reminded him not to buy a vanilla cake and to buy a chocolate cake instead. I also told him to buy a chocolate cake.

Then after a while, my maternal uncle came back with the cake.

I opened the cake box with interest and curiosity and saw it was a BIG VANILLA CAKE. I looked at him with a confused face and he said, “I bought it cause Namif loved it and chose the cake for you”.

Then I said nothing and went to my room. My mom came after me and I told her that I will not celebrate my birthday and won’t cut the cake. Hearing this my maternal uncle came and started saying, “Elders should always sacrifice for their youngers.

You’re Namif’s elder sister and you can’t sacrifice just a cake for him?” It’s like the thousandth time I’m hearing this “you should sacrifice for your youngers” thing from him. Hearing this I got even madder and said “ok then I should as well sacrifice cutting the cake and let him cut the cake.” My point was, why am I supposed to sacrifice my preference for my own birthday?? Not to mention I’m celebrating my birthday after 4 years.

Then I started saying how I felt and how their mentality sucks and said I won’t cut the cake. Then my maternal aunt started saying I’m a jerk, I’m a childish and selfish person and they won’t ever attend my birthday.

AITJ?

Update: After the vanilla cake was bought and I reacted, at first mom told me to keep the peace for the sake of the guests and said that she will talk to my uncle later about this crappy deed of his after the guests are gone and the party is over.

But when my aunt started calling me a jerk, childish, selfish, immature, etc my mom lost her coolness and defended me. For that, my mom and aunt had a huge fight for which my uncle, aunt along w cousins left the birthday party.

After they were gone, My mom, my best friend, and I went to my fav cake shop and bought a big cute chocolate cake from there. Later the birthday went all good.”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ. You clearly stated your desires.

Your uncle chose to ignore it. You even informed them ahead of time to avoid making a scene. As an older sibling, I understand how I’ve had to sacrifice for my younger ones. But it isn’t an all-the-time thing.

I may not be able to have certain toys bc of the risk of them choking on parts = an understandable sacrifice. I can’t have friends over bc mom and dad are tired from caring for younger sibs = an understandable sacrifice.

Have a cake I dislike on my bday bc they like that flavor a bit more = stupid.

There is a time and place where sacrificing for others is nice. But something as simple as a cake flavor shouldn’t be hard to get right.

If they were allergic, I could see. But it’s putting their wants above yours.” Ickyhouse

Another User Comments:

“NTJ. If you’re not allowed to be a little selfish for your birthday then when? Your family seems like right jerks and I feel like you’re not missing out on much if they don’t come.

A birthday of all days should be celebrated with people that are your friends and family that love and respect you. If they can’t respect this one thing, then screw them, you don’t need them there to ruin things for you.” cactuarknight

Another User Comments:

“NTJ – maybe I’m wrong, but isn’t your birthday the one day a year it’s acceptable to be a little “selfish”…? Which, honestly, it doesn’t sound like you were being.

It would be one thing if they are allergic to chocolate, or the three of you were supposed to be sharing a celebration, but neither is the case. Also, to me, the main issue is not just that you prefer chocolate, but that you dislike vanilla so much that you can not eat it! So having known you as long as they do, they either don’t care about you enough to remember that you won’t eat vanilla at all or (unfortunately, more likely) they don’t care or even are happy that you will not want to have so much as a single bite of your own birthday cake.

Just because you are “elder“ you should have to sacrifice all the time for the younger kids? No! You are not their parents, why is it your place to sacrifice? I understand giving a little bit of slack, or being more willing to make some sacrifices in situations with smaller kids, but these are getting to be young adults and thus really need to learn (because they should know by now!) that not everything is about them and they don’t always get to have their way.

Or, they should be learning that, but don’t seem they ever will if the parents who should be teaching them those better values are instead calling you out on being unhappy that you can’t eat your own birthday cake.

A belated happy birthday! And I am very sorry that this has happened to you, especially because it seems like it’s part of a bigger overall pattern of preferential treatment of the cousins.” ErixWorxMemes

2 points (2 votes)
Post

User Image
Pabs7 1 month ago
NTJ. Probably good to not have to deal with these relatives any more.
2 Reply
View 1 more comment

10. AITJ For Not Cleaning Out A Fridge?

Unsplash

“I have been married for a year and get along well with my inlaws, they’re great people and have helped us out a lot. Recently, they got a new fridge for us since ours was on its last legs in exchange for helping them out at their house with some things that needed to be done.

In our state (OH) the power companies offer a monetary rebate for recycling the old fridge with their recycling company. The stipulations for this recycling are that the fridge is plugged in, working, defrosted, and clean.

I schedule this pick-up about 3 weeks out after getting the new fridge and since the only available dates were days I was working I asked my mother-in-law to be there for the pick-up (only required an adult to sign it over).

We leave the old one in our garage with the doors off to let it defrost and dry, as well as to make it easier to move and within the 3 weeks, I neglect to clean it. This was my bad, I should have cleaned it and I just never put the time aside to do it.

Morning of (today), my Father-In-Law asks me if it’s ready and I tell him the doors are still off and I forgot to clean it.

He says the doors don’t matter, but to reschedule since it’s not cleaned out. I call the pick-up people, inform them of how dirty it is (probably a 3 on a scale of 1-10) and they said “That’s fine, as long as it’s not dangerous or full of mold” which it wasn’t, there were just a few food spills that never got cleaned up.

Should have been, but wasn’t, so I tell my FiL that it’s still on for pick-up.

In-laws arrive at my house and instantly text me “It’s gross, reschedule”. I ask him how bad he thinks it is and tell him that they’d pick it up.

He says “I’m not putting it out…It’s an embarrassment”. I tell him “You don’t put it out, they take it out for you” and he asks me to call him.

The call pretty much just consists of us going over what happened, me taking responsibility for it not being cleaned, and him thinking I called him an idiot for telling him what they do, but his main point is he doesn’t “want to be the guy there” for it to be picked up because it’s dirty and finds it embarrassing.

Also says I can look forward to a conversation with him and MiL when I get home.

So, AITJ?”

Another User Comments:

“No one’s a jerk. Forgetting to clean the fridge is a very minor transgression. Calling you a jerk for this feels too extreme.

Kind of a little bit of a jerk, maybe?

Your inlaws, on the other hand, are being jerks, though maybe not full-on jerk territory. I understand the old-school manner of thinking in which one’s mere presence in a situation can somehow reflect badly on one’s self, but..

get over it? I suppose they’re doing you a favor, and it’s their prerogative to back out for whatever reason they wish, but that’s a rather weak reason. The fridge is kinda gross. So? Eh.

I don’t think anyone’s a jerk here.

More like a few mildly annoying people.” missshrimptoast

Another User Comments:

“You’re kind of a jerk for not cleaning it out, but that seems to be an honest mistake, which you even clarified with the pick-up people, so it was okay.

Your inlaws are also kind of jerks for refusing to be there for the pick-up because they didn’t want to be embarrassed.

It’s either a room full of slight jerks, or you’re not a jerk but your inlaws are. Depending on how dirty the fridge actually was.” fifthpilgrim

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
Pabs7 1 month ago
In the time it took you to call the place and argue with your in laws, you could have cleaned the fridge.
3 Reply
Load More Replies...
View 1 more comment

9. AITJ For Being Mad That My Parents Fired Me?

Unsplash

“I was let go when my parents sold the business. My performance was always, to my knowledge, well above average. I worked for my parents for 10 years, so this will be long but I will stick to pertinent points and be as brief and as objective as possible in summing up what has happened.

I am now in my late thirties. In my mid-twenties, I was looking for a new job. I had quit my job in commercial maintenance. I had my own car, apartment, and a few months of living expenses saved up at the time.

I never asked my parents for anything. They never paid much attention to me after elementary school and I never expected them to send me to college or anything, and they didn’t, so I was one who didn’t qualify for anything because my parents made plenty of money but wouldn’t pay for it.

No big deal, they aren’t required to do it, I am just making it clear that I have never expected much from them. They just didn’t talk to me much, and I had stopped calling them in my early twenties because my mom would never answer or call me back.

She is kind of anti-social and has never had a single friend that I know of, so I think she also didn’t answer a lot of calls, but I don’t really know. My dad was basically absent for a few years while they had some marital turmoil.

At some point, we started doing family holidays (Christmas and thanksgiving) again, though.

So, at this time in my mid-twenties when I was looking for a job, my dad was needing help at his insurance agency. My mom and dad had lost their entire retirement in the stock market crash, so my dad had started a new business (he had sold his other for all that money they lost).

As soon as he bought the business, they lost tons of clients due to taking over right as the company got a big rate hike, and so his revenue was not really enough to pay the bills and properly run the place.

To further compound problems, he didn’t actually know how to do anything anymore, because it’s complicated and there are a ton of changing rules. The one employee and her sister were taking extreme advantage of him, holding him hostage because he couldn’t fire them.

It was a bad situation, and if the business failed, my dad was too old to start another one.

My mom was too old to get hired at a new corporate job. So they both invited me over to talk, and they asked me if I would like to come work for my dad, explaining all of this.

So, they asked me what I would need to be paid. And I told them a very small figure. It’s what I had made the previous year as a general laborer. Pretty much the amount I could get working literally anywhere.

No, I didn’t have great prospects, but I was looking at becoming a plumber’s apprentice and eventually a plumber, it’s not like I was totally out of options. I said, well, I can get this amount doing anything so I need at least this much.

They agreed, and so I did it for two reasons:

  1. I wanted to do what was right for my family, and I also felt like if I were to make this happen for my parents then it would help to bring our family together and heal old wounds.

  2. If this were to work out and we were able to turn the business around, my dad assured me that it would “work out really well for me”.

Now, a lot of people do a lot of things for their children, and I did not press him on what he meant by that, but I trusted him.

I really thought he would help me to become financially stable, maybe start my own business as he retired, even. To be clear, the original goal is to build this business for my parents so they can sell it and retire.

But, also I want some things in life. To be able to see a doctor, fix my car when it breaks, save some money and have a decent place to live. Really, all I am asking for is to be able to work for a living.

I don’t think it is unreasonable.

I worked for my parents for ten years, and I never asked for much at all. After a few years, I wanted to get a retirement account, but that request was rebuffed. The first few years were really rough, but I learned what we needed and we fired the bad employees.

With the terrible economy and the financials already screwed up, there were no raises and I got paid the bare minimum, not really enough to live on but you do it anyway. No benefits at all except for vacation days.

My dad constantly made bonus plans and then ‘forgot’ about them halfway through. He was making note payments of 25k per month (with over 13k going towards equity). But he always complained that he ‘didn’t take a paycheck’. He also never did any work.

I worked my butt off. Left the house at 7:15 and got home at 7-8. And I had, I swear, perfect 10 customer service scores as scored by our clientele. This is on the type of survey where people are like, “well, he was wonderful and I have no complaints, but nobody is perfect so I’ll give him a 7!” It is basically unheard of to have such good scores.

I was really good at this job, and I did it for dirt cheap (for reasons outlined above).

We hired a lady that used to work for my dad at his old business, and she is amazing. We are now expanding and dad has made several large yearly bonuses.

They can be up to 50-100k if you make your numbers. So, the situation is improving. Not for me, of course, still no raises or benefits. In year 5, the worst heavy lifting had been done by me.

My mom could no longer find gainful employment, she was previously a marketing executive.

So she joins the business and it goes from bad to terrible. She is not very nice, and no one even felt comfortable having conversations around the office any longer. She joined almost at the year-end, and one of the first things that happens is they sit me and the other lady down and tell us, that even though we blew our numbers out of the water (our goal was 200, we wrote like 450 of the item in question), and yes, they were getting their bonus (65k), they would need to be taking half of our bonuses (5k each) to pay expenses with.

I was pretty mad about this but I did not quit. When the bonus came in, my mom went on a shopping spree, showing up for work with new clothes for like a month. And she bought me five shirts.

I am supposed to appreciate it, but she took 2.5k from me and then spent 100 and I am supposed to be happy? That was more than I had spent on shirts in a long time, and they weren’t work shirts like I needed, either.

Plus, I would rather have had the money for unpaid bills.

This was probably one of the worst offenses, but this type of thing happened frequently. “Hey, do you think your dad remembered to do payroll this week? I have drafts coming though!” Well of course he forgot.

That type of thing over and over.

I also happen to know that my mom, who was doing a job that pays 20k/yr plus commission, was making a salary of well over 100k with no experience at all. And she refused to learn since she had a staff of slaves to do the dirty work.

She bent the rules to get the commission and made us fix it later on. She took all of the low-hanging fruit and our poor salespeople who were actually making the 20k plus commission were left with junk leads (they never lasted long).

There are other monies they made but I will stop here, the point is that I know all of the financials. My parents are old and I have to run all of the technology, so I know everything, they cannot hide it.

Yet still, they constantly complain about how broke they are. They are not at all broke. And my dad complains about how he “worked til 12 last night” when he didn’t even come into the office until like 5 pm and I know he was just posting on social media all night.

I stuck it out.

I held the line. I passed up 2 chances to interview for a real corporate insurance job (knew somebody at the time) because I wanted to see this through, for my parents, and for me.

As time goes on my parents and I talked and we planned on letting me take over management of the business for them.

They would pay me a real salary (finally) and I would run the place (finally get a chance to run it right!), and they would make tons of money just being owners. So I gradually took over all of the managerial duties, aside from official stuff like payroll and paying the bills, which is frankly the only thing my dad did.

My mom on the other hand is a workaholic who hates people, and she abused all the staff and treated them like her personal slaves.

Now, becoming manager was never set in stone as a contract, but it was what we were now planning on.

Everyone involved in the business knew, all my friends and family knew, they told strangers and acquaintances that was what we were doing when they were talking, and they certainly portrayed that to me.

That is the back story. Now, to what really has got me mad.

We are planning on making the final transition, to be done sometime next year, probably within like six months.

I am excited and really confident that I will run the place well with them out of the way. Everyone at the agency (we have several more employees by now) is like, “ooo he is so serious, things are really going to change around here!”

So my parents and I go and pick out a house for me to live in while I manage the place.

I had always lived in a crummy apartment, but now with my new upcoming salary, I would be able to buy a house and not throw my funds away on rent. My parents knew this is really my big dream, owning a home.

So they help me to find a mortgage broker that they know. They have actually bought 8 rental properties for themselves while we have been working together, so they know a little bit about buying houses.

I get approved for a mortgage.

My mom, as my boss, told the bank that I would make a salary that was roughly 50% higher than I had ever made because that was the plan. But, the house has to be close to the office! Now, they just added 20k jobs to the area, so it is a super hot real estate market in this area.

Literally, 20 offers on the first day. And it is already in an expensive area of an expensive city in my state. But we find a house. We craft a good offer, and they accept! My dad actually found the one I bought, and it is at the top of my price range.

But, I love it! I actually love all houses, honestly, but I loved that one too and I loved that I would have a place of my own, so I bought it.

And I’m excited about this and my new job coming up, so I get rid of the crummy old used couch that I hated. I gave it away to a young kid and that felt good. I had never bought real furniture, so I ask my mom to help me pick some out.

Very exciting! We go out and I buy $4k worth to furnish the place, 0 down, first payment to be due in 1 month. The house even had a pool (getting a pool was my dad’s idea since I had been talking about hot tubs lately).

I mean, I deserve it after all this time, right? Spent another 2k or so on a pool robot and pool stuff. Spent all the rest of my meager resources getting into this house, moving, etc.

Three weeks after I move into the house, my parents invite me to lunch at the place down the street.

No big deal, probably going to talk about the business, huh? Well, they told me they changed their minds and they sold the place.

But… my stuff is still in boxes!? I haven’t even made the first payment on my furniture!? How am I to pay for all this stuff!?

They intended for me to look for a job somewhere else.

Apparently, everyone else at the agency gets to stay, but I was not offered a chance to stay. And now to afford the place where I am currently living, I would need to land a job making 50% higher than I had ever made in my life.

And the place is already sold so I better get it done within 6 months! They offered no severance package. They offered no help to resolve my housing situation. They have literally never once even said or otherwise expressed, “thanks for your service”.

They have since helped me in monetary ways, but only ever just enough to keep me from total catastrophe. At this point, I doubt they will help anymore and I won’t ask, either, because it is not right to live like this.

We had 10 years to plan this.

I made a huge commitment, to them, in buying that house. And they pulled the rug right out from under me. If they had told me just a few months prior, I could have bought a house literally anywhere.

I could have an affordable house in a neat, fun part of town. I don’t even like the suburb where I bought it. The one, sole reason I bought there was for work.

I have rented the house out to avoid losing it.

I pray that my renters are good ones. I had to throw most of my stuff (it is a 3 bed 2 bath) in the trash and put the rest in storage. I now live in a crummy, dirty old RV in a gravel parking lot full of ants and mice and I have no good job prospects.

I am deeply in debt from my time with them and feeling pretty hopeless about my situation. I’m far from perfect but I feel like I’ve done everything my parents have ever asked of me. They bought a huge mansion estate for cash, but have no pity for me after I dedicated my career and ten years of my life to their success.

Am I the jerk for being mad at my parents for helping me to get into a housing situation where I have no ability to actually pay for the house?”

Another User Comments:

“You’re not a jerk.

Your parents used you so hard. So many ways. Not once did they treat you fairly. They abused the fact that you were family and proceeded to steal your bonuses, renege on promises, and set you up for financial failure with a house you cannot afford.

You were also really really really naive in letting them do that for 10 years.

File for unemployment.

If you really want, you can sue them for damages of a broken promise that caused monetary damages, talk to a lawyer, he would know the exact law and filing to do it under.

I highly suggest you leverage your previous position to find a better job.

I would also suggest you don’t talk to your parents again, especially after they finished draining you for everything they could for the past 10 years. But obviously, that choice is complicated.” SalAtWork

Another User Comments:

“Not the jerk. Your parents clearly have a pattern of “huge promise worded just vaguely enough to allow an easy out” followed by “poorly constructed excuse why huge promise is broken”.

I feel like, given their pattern, it was probably a red flag to hold off on these expenses. However, their encouragement along the way really makes them the jerks. You may consider cutting contact (or at least greatly reducing contact), as hard as that may be, to avoid falling into another promise/letdown trap.

If your numbers were good, maybe consider applying at the (now sold) business, making it clear that you don’t expect the new owners to live up to the promises of the old and that you’re willing to conform to their way of doing things instead of focusing on the plans you had made.

It kind of sucks, because you’re basically starting over, but it’s better than giving up entirely. From what I understand, insurance is a difficult and competitive field. If you’ve proven yourself through numbers, use them to your advantage. Good luck, OP.” immadee

Another User Comments:

“Not the jerk, I can see how people could do that to a total stranger but their kid is downright dirty, it’s like the story of a crime drama when the killer is telling the detectives why they killed their parents (no offense and I advise against this).

But I figure you have a few options 1) Tell them to screw themselves and hopefully forge your own way 2) Get a good chunk of money somehow then tell them to screw off 3) Bury the hate and keep things nice and hope that they leave you with a good inheritance when they die.” CombatRam

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
TJHall44 1 month ago
NTA but your a fcking idiot for allowing yourself to be used like a doormat! Good lord you're stupid. Always get everything in writing!
1 Reply
View 2 more comments

8. AITJ For Disrespecting My Teacher?

Unsplash

“Context: My Theology teacher (male, approx 35) was supposed to go to a doctor’s appointment, but the sub was unable to fill in, so he probably became angry that day. I am a male senior in high school and probably ticked him off.

In Theology class, my teacher (I’ll call him Mr. Johnson) asked the class who has their homework. I said that I did and since I was close to him, decided to try to hand it to him. Unfortunately, the distance between him and me was about a yard, so I tossed it onto his desk.

He caught it and then ripped the paper and said, “You don’t throw things at me” in a stern voice, and then threw the shreds in the recycling bin.

I decided that I would pick up what was left of my homework after class.

About 5 minutes after Mr. Johnson ripped up my homework, another teacher (I’ll call her Ms. Robertson) came into class asking for the recycling bin, so I was unable to take back my homework, tape it back together, and attempt to try to return it in.

Because Ms. Robertson “just happened” to come into the class asking for the recycling bin, I’m very positive that Mr. Johnson did this, since he already knew that Ms. Robertson will come in for the bin.

Later on in class, one of my classmates (I’ll call him Sean) turned around and told me that two years ago, Mr.

Johnson burned his notes in class. It turns out that, at the time, Mr. Johnson told Sean to not take notes, so Mr. Johnson put Sean’s notes into a bowl and lit them on fire. After hearing this, Mr.

Johnson’s behavior is not that abnormal to my situation.

Coincidentally, the topic of Plato’s interpretation of ‘what is evil?’ came up. According to Plato, there is no such thing as not good and that evil is just not accepting good.

In a way, Mr. Johnson tearing my paper can be seen as him teaching me a lesson on respect/his untold class rules. After school, I asked him if I could make up the homework. He said not to worry about it and that he will accept it.

Basically, this entire situation was an extremely harsh ‘slap on the wrist’ scare tactic punishment from my teacher.

So, what I’m trying to ask is, is Mr. Johnson a jerk for overreacting, or do I deserve what happened because of my disrespect?”

Another User Comments:

“He’s the jerk.

I mean, seriously, what a self-important, power-tripping jerk. If he’d try that kind of stuff in any working environment… where he wasn’t the sole authority figure in front of a captive audience… he’d either have HR on his behind or likely have mysterious employee retention problems.” SuperFLEB

Another User Comments:

“The way I see it (correct me if I’m wrong), it was too far to hand but not far enough to need to walk over so you just lobbed it on his desk, not actually throw? If that’s true then he’s the jerk.” MormonBikeRiding

1 points (1 votes)
Post


7. AITJ For Avoiding My Roommate?

Unsplash

“So my situation is a bit complicated. Basically, I’m living with a roommate for the next few months although I’d much rather live alone.

Six years ago, I moved into this flat with two roommates, and back then, I loved it.

We got to know each other quite well, and after a while, one of my roomies became my partner. The other roommate moved to a different city but also kept her old room, so she could come over from time to time to visit her old friends.

Basically, it was just me and my partner most of the time and I got used to that. I didn’t want to share my personal space with anyone else anymore.

But a few months ago, my partner confessed that she had an affair, I broke up with her and kicked her out.

So then her room was empty and I couldn’t afford the rent alone. Finding a new (cheap) place to live is a nightmare in my city. In a few months, I will probably start a new job that will require me to move anyway so I decided it was best to get a (temporary) roommate.

Now, when I was showing the flat to my future roommates, I made it pretty clear that personal space and general quietness are very important to me.

My now-roomie said it’s the same for him and he doesn’t mind. I believed him, so he got the room.

He’s a really nice guy and he is absolutely quiet, only invites his partner or 1-2 other friends over, doesn’t have any big parties, doesn’t listen to loud music, doesn’t just burst into my room…

But he likes talking to me.

He’s from Spain and his German (we’re in Germany) is not the best, so he obviously wants to speak German in order to improve. I think that’s a really great thing but somehow… after a long day of work, I just want to enjoy my dinner quietly without having to talk to anyone.

And I find it really hard to have a relaxed conversation when I can hardly understand him and he can hardly understand me.

Usually, when I start making dinner, he’s coming over after a while, starts making small talk, sometimes preparing his own dinner and sitting down at the table with me.

I think that this is pretty normal social behavior so I feel like a jerk for trying to avoid him.

Am I the jerk here?”

Another User Comments:

“No jerks here.

I do have a question, though. You’re in Germany, but if you’re German, then wow, your English is flawless, so I’m wondering if you’re English or something else? I only ask because not only are you speaking two different languages, there’s got to be cultural differences too.

Maybe to your roommate, just casual conversation isn’t intrusive to him as it is to you. And maybe you weren’t as clear as you could have been when you explained personal space and quietness. Maybe to him, it’s just what roommates do.

Like you said, he doesn’t burst into your room or things like that.

I do wonder, though, if you had this problem with your partner because most of us women like to unload and talk after a long day at work.

So if you don’t have a commute home where you’re able to decompress, just go to your room when you get home and chill for a while before you make dinner, listen to some music and do whatever and relax.

Then maybe you’ll feel up to socializing a little bit. I mean, you’re roommates, it would be weird if you never talked.” Diarygirl

Another User Comments:

“I get the feeling too. It’s not depression (If it were, then I guess that’s the reason why so many people are ‘diagnosed’ with it) as it is completely understandable that some people just simply want a quiet moment after a long tiring day to unwind, recollect ourselves.

It’s especially tiring when there is a certain language barrier/difficulty.

It’s simple really, just tell your roommate that you need some time alone after coming home to energize yourself. Just make sure you do talk to him when you could so that he knows it isn’t anything personal or serious but only a matter of you wanting some rest.

You aren’t a jerk, you even have a really good roommate too. Do not strain it on your part or his just because of this small matter.” YvonnePewPew

1 points (1 votes)
Post


6. AITJ For Accusing My Mom Of Lying?

Unsplash

“So this just happened today. I planned to go to my parents’ place for Christmas on the night of the 24th. This has always been the plan from the beginning because I have some other plans on the day of the 24th.

But my mother called me this afternoon, saying that I absolutely need to go back tomorrow morning because she has invited my SO’s family over on the 24th for lunch. Our families made arrangements about a gathering during the holiday season for a while now, and I’ve always been aware of that, but I was never told when the meeting would actually take place, so I thought no time has been set and it would definitely be after Christmas.

So needless to say I was really surprised and completely incredulous when I heard about this, yet my mom adamantly claims that this plan has already been communicated to me before and it’s my problem that I have other plans on the 24th and I need to cancel it.

Her claim that I’ve been told about the gathering on the 24th is categorically false and to be fair outright ridiculous since I wouldn’t have made another plan on the 24th had I known and even if by some miracle I’d forgotten about the gathering, my SO wouldn’t as well, and she also never told me about it! So I decided to text my SO’s parents to confirm this meeting.

They first asked me if my parents are back from vacation, and I replied yes they just got back yesterday. And their response in their exact words was “we can discuss the gathering after a few days of rest”.

So with my presumption that my mother wasn’t being honest about the gathering time already set in stone on the 24th, I immediately interpreted this as irrefutable proof that my mother wasn’t telling me the truth.

So I immediately texted her and said that she was lying because my SO’s parents just said we can discuss the gathering after they rest for a few days. My mother was furious and showed me some old texts, and it turns out they did actually make a plan to gather on the 24th beforehand, but my SO’s parents thought that maybe they could use a few days of rest after just coming back from a trip, and I misinterpreted that as “there never was a gathering planned”.

So I was indeed wrong to have accused her of lying. But while I was not at all happy that she’s making me cancel my plan on the 24th to attend the gathering with such short notice, I was not mad and just accused my mom of lying casually like that with zero intention of being mean to her or hurting her feelings.

More like sheer annoyance of “why would you come up with this false pretext so I would have to cancel my plan just to come home with no sight of my SO’s family??” This isn’t the first time my mother used such a tactic.

She once told me they adopted a dog so being the dog lover that I am, I went home on that same weekend only to find they got a ceramic dog…Now I understand a mother wanting to see her son who lives away and doesn’t come back home often but coming up with a false pretext isn’t honest and hence why I started with the presumption that this is another one of her pretexts.

Now I’ve seen some families who have really strict rules about what the children can say, with “liar” being the equivalent of curse words that must be never used against another individual, let alone your parents.

Although my mom often hasn’t been honest in the things she says to me, I’ve never before called her a liar before and today was the first time. But I never anticipated that she would basically disown me over this.

I don’t want to get into the details of what she said since this is about whether I am the jerk, but let’s just say that with what she said there’s NO WAY I can go back home this holiday season and enjoy spending the time with my family and that what she said is so hurtful and has caused a PERMANENT tear to form between us.

(I always love my father more but my mother and I have never been on bad terms and I do absolutely love her. Being a very sensitive person I never imagine these hurtful words coming out from her, which is why I’m so devastated).

So I’m emotionally exhausted right now and utterly regretful of this little misunderstanding developing into such a nightmare, but most of all confused at how or why this even happened in the first place.

I really want to believe that I’ve done something terribly wrong and absolutely deserve this, but maybe I’m just such an oblivious jerk that I can’t even see what’s so terrible about what I said.

So please, by all means, share your honest belief and judgment.

If this is indeed so bad of an insult I will never ever use this word in the rest of my life against anyone under any circumstances, but I’m afraid that this one-time mistake has just permanently damaged my relationship with my mother.

AITJ?”

Another User Comments:

“ESH – if your Mum has lied in the past then she can’t be offended if you thought she lied this time.

However, given your massive jumps to conclusions, I am not convinced your mother has actually lied in the past and it not been simply misunderstandings that you have overreacted to.

You are looking at everything way too black and white.

Saying you ‘categorically’ didn’t hear about the get-together is strange, have you ever been told something and forgotten? Your SO’s parents might not have told her if they had forgotten too. So that doesn’t make it a fact in any way.

Calling someone a liar is pretty hurtful if they are being truthful.

As she was. You need to apologize for not believing your Mum and make amends and go to Christmas. I don’t care what was said, if you skip Christmas you will make things much worse for no good reason.” iwasthebread

Another User Comments:

“ESH — Using the word “lie” is kind of the nuclear option — it implies deliberate deceit and cunning and poor character.

Better to always assume good intent and go with “that’s not right” “I think you’re confused” etc. That said it sounds like she’s a real piece of work (the ceramic dog thing is BONKERS) and clearly she only reacted so badly because you struck a nerve.

If she wasn’t a habitual liar she wouldn’t be so mad.

I bet this will blow over. Apologize for your part in it when you’re ready but if what she said was over the top cruel make sure you’re clear that nobody gets to talk to you like that ever.

She owes you an apology as well (perhaps more so). Sorry this is marring your holiday but hopefully this time next year it will be ancient history. Good luck!” belliebean

Another User Comments:

“ESH, regardless of past falsehoods, calling your mom a liar was wrong, there’s a way to refute politely.

These plans sounded tentative at best, so she should have reconfirmed with your SO’s parents before contacting you.

Assuming you want to have a relationship with her (and maybe she didn’t mean the things she said to you), I would suggest you return home on the evening of the 24th as planned, and cry it out with her.

It’s okay to admit you acted badly and to give her the opportunity to admit the same.

Clearly, I don’t know what she said to you, but obviously, they were remarks that cut deep, and I really am sorry for that.” pami_dahl

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
GammaG 2 weeks ago
"How fun! I hope you guys have a blast! I'll see you as planned that evening. If you decide to reschedule it when I can be there let me know."
0 Reply

5. AITJ For Asking My Mom To Split Costs With Me?

Unsplash

“So my mum asked if I wanted to come with her and my sister (she has additional needs) to see Mary Poppins. I wasn’t that interested in the movie but a day out sounded nice as I just quit my job.

My parents have said to me they don’t have that much money right now because of Christmas so I said I will pay for the movie for the three of us.

I just bought my mum and sister a drink each and mum said we should get popcorn that was in this Mary Poppins bowl (this bowl was $20).

I said okay because it was cute and I was being nice, I said to her let’s split it $10 each because honestly, I didn’t see a problem with this.

She said yes that’s reasonable. I also bought lunch for her and my sister.

After the movie, we go to Kmart because my mum wanted some clips for her hair. When we got there she picked some out ($4). She then said she needed to go to the Apple store really quick because she needed to get her iPad fixed and asked me to line up with my sister.

She asked if she wanted me to give her the $4 which I said yes I did.

So she gave me the money and left. I paid and went to another store and found these cute Christmas decorations that were on sale at 60% off.

I wasn’t sure about a few of them so I took pictures and sent them to her.

I was waiting in the car when she rang and said I should get all the Christmas decor I had sent her. I asked because she was in the shops if she could get them and I will transfer the funds right now.

She said she will have to use her credit card and I said okay.

She got back to the car with the bags and by the look on her face, I knew she was angry. She opened the door and said, “oh no the parking fee.” I told her I’ll pay and got my wallet out.

(Side note: when I was in the car scrolling I found this Christmas lights thing and it was 7 minutes away from this shopping center and it was only $15, I had $14 in cash). I was in the middle of asking her if she had any cash/coins on her when she closed the door with me in mid-sentence.

I was shocked but whatever. She came back angrier and I asked how much it was, it was $17.50. I said oh I’ll transfer the funds, that’s a lot. She said back why bother and she was disappointed in me.

To cut a long story short we had a massive fight in the car with me telling her she was yelling like a child and her telling me I’m a disgrace and it’s my fault she can’t say no to me! She was mad because she had to pay $10 for the popcorn and $4 for the clips.

I told her that makes no sense and she then just started screaming so I ignored her the rest of the way home.

When we got home I told my dad and he said I should not have asked to go half with the popcorn as they are short on money.

My answer was to say why did she say yes to buying it then? Mum cut in and said because she can’t say no to me because I’m a brat.

I’m very disappointed in them and have cried for the last hour.

I feel she is angry in general about having no money and took it out on me. Am I a jerk for all of this?”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ.

I’d suggest not caring. I know that sounds ridiculous and much easier to say than to practice.

Especially when it’s involving family. But I’m saying focus on/work towards it, not simply that you can turn off your emotions.

As I said, you know you’re not wrong. Because of that, it’s easier to go into defense mode and try and go over everything and make them see the light.

It’s not worth it. You didn’t do anything wrong and your parents are being selfish. Next time you’re in that position try saying you don’t see things the same way but you’re sorry they feel that way and end the conversation asap.

You have every right to be upset about this but in the end, if you feel like crap you’re hurting yourself. They’re obviously being scummy and don’t care. So try to smile knowing you have the moral high ground and push their awful opinions as far away as possible.” Beep_boop_human

Another User Comments:

“NTJ.

The stress from financial problems probably got to them, and they were being close-minded at the fact that you have paid for many of the things already – and you were going to pay for the parking ticket before she decided to pay for it herself.

Besides, she also refused the transfer of funds.. so, I don’t know why they are getting mad. Just talk to them when everything is calm, and explain your side of things.” toffee-o

Another User Comments:

“NTJ, you are the one being nice about it all and being decent.

She could have easily said no to going halves on the bowl, you’ve literally paid for nearly everything and she’s still complaining. Had you not been nice enough to pay for anything, I would understand her complaining about it, but from the sounds of it, you have spent more on this day out than what she has. Please don’t let it get to you too much, parents can be really crappy sometimes.” phoneshopgirl

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
rbleah 2 months ago
So Mom has no money but wants to go to a movie, lunch and shopping? Of course she asked you to go so YOU would pay? Next time just say No thank you. If she wants to go SHE can pay for it.
3 Reply
View 2 more comments

4. WIBTJ For Confronting My Mom?

Unsplash

“I’m a mom with a 3-month-old and a 2-year-old.

Prior to giving birth, I was hospitalized with pre-term labor. I was in the hospital for over a month and then released for several weeks before my little one was born.

During this time my family was super helpful with my 2-year-old. My mom and sister took her when my husband had to work.

I gave birth and everyone disappeared.

Background: after my first was born, my mom was at my house every few days for a few months.

Then she babysat her one day a week. She has spent loads of time with her. My sister also visited several times. Everyone came over, aunties, uncles, grandparents, cousins. When my sister had kids (she has 3), I made a point to go to her house and do dishes, let her shower, and play with the older kids.

I tried to be present and helpful. I did this once a week (3 times a month at least) for an extended period of time. My mom was also there at least every few days for months. So we have a pattern of behavior here.

Until now.

Also, my mom has recently (in the last year and a half) gotten involved in a national organization and runs a chapter, it keeps her pretty busy so she is most often doing stuff for that instead of coming to see me now.

My mom has only come a handful of times since the baby was born.

When she comes it’s for less than an hour usually. She has asked me to drive out to her on multiple occasions. She lives about 40 minutes from me, which is a lot of driving for the littles, but I’ve done it a few times.

She is always hinting that I should come over. I’m an overwhelmed new mom who feels like I can barely shower. My house is a mess. My baby has horrendous acid reflux. I’m thinking what the heck?!

I have tried to keep asking for help to a minimum in light of all the help I got before the baby was born.

But when I do ask, it’s not worth the effort, or I can’t count on others being there.

I asked my mom to come over to check on me when my husband had to go back to work the first day I was home with both of them alone.

I asked a week in advance. My mom assured me it was no problem, then called me at 3:30 saying she was still in her PJs and waiting for a package to be delivered. How was I?? I got off the phone ASAP because I didn’t want to break down in tears.

The day had gone well but I was super angry.

I asked them all (mom and sister) to come over to help me get ready for my oldest’s birthday party (after they declined to watch my oldest so we could construct her present).

They said they would be at least a few hours early. My sister had gone to see my mom and stayed the night before, had an event in the morning that was over by 9-10, so they baked cookies!!! And came over about 45 minutes before the party was supposed to start with cookies for everyone!!! I was a mess.

My mom has gone to see my sister (I live 40 minutes away, she lives over an hour from my mom) at least as many times as me in the time since I gave birth.

I’m jealous.

I’m also frustrated. I am also super ticked off that my children don’t rank high enough on her calendar for a visit. She cares more about some stupid organization. I’m happy she found something she loves, but she won’t schedule time with me and I hate it.

I want to tell her we won’t see her unless she schedules it ahead and for longer than an hour.

WIBTJ if I confronted my mom with this frustration? Or am I being childish?

My husband just says it won’t do any good and just don’t rely on her/them.

But I’m really hurt.”

Another User Comments:

“No one’s a jerk.

This is a really challenging life stage and you’re feeling unsupported. That’s very understandable.

What you’re going through is really common. A lot of women get more community and family support for their first baby than they do for subsequent babies.

It sucks, but it’s the way the world works. The first baby is more exciting for them and they’re more concerned with how you’ll cope. By the second, it’s assumed you mostly know what you’re doing.

Your mum has other commitments now (running the local chapter of her organization) and gave you significant help before the baby was born.

You can’t always expect her to put her other commitments to one side for you. You’re not always entitled to be her top priority.

Your sister has three kids of her own and might also be struggling. A newborn isn’t the only difficult stage.

It would be worth talking to your mum, but be prepared to listen too.

Even though you probably won’t like everything you hear.” ckjb

Another User Comments:

“I’m torn between ESH and NTJ, but I’m gonna go with ESH.

Your family has let you down several times. Your mum agreeing to come over on your husband’s first day back at work and then waiting until 3:30 pm to tell you she wasn’t is really bad of her, and them saying they’d be over a few hours before the birthday party and then turning up 45 minutes beforehand because they wanted to make cookies was pretty bad.

I’m sure they thought baking cookies for everyone was helping, but they agreed to come beforehand and should have kept to it because you’d planned around that.

That being said, I think you’re expecting too much from your family. Your mum and sister both have other obligations, your mum has her organization she’s joined and your sister has her own three children.

Your mum probably wants something to do for herself, and that’s why she joined the organization. They aren’t obligated to help you raise your children, without trying to sound harsh, you decided to have another child, not them. You said your mum has visited a handful of times since your baby was born three months ago, so I’m assuming once or twice a month? That’s not too bad for grandparents who live 40 minutes away by car (maybe that’s just my family who were weird, but once or twice a month was the norm for us seeing grandparents) especially when they have their own things going on, and her seeing your sister as much as she’s seen you seems fair.

Otherwise, your sister could complain that she sees you and your kids more than she sees her and her kids.

I think you should talk to your mum and sister, it’s understandable you feel a bit unsupported given they’ve let you down a few times when you’d arranged for their help, and you should maybe mention how you felt when they let you down.

That being said, I think you need to lower your expectations a bit. It’s lovely if you and your family used to be able to go around and help each other every week, but that isn’t something your family can achieve anymore as you all have lots of things going on.

It’s great if they can come over weekly to do things around the house for you and whatnot, but it shouldn’t be the expectation.

Best of luck with it all!” honeymilkteas

Another User Comments:

“NTJ. I would say no jerks here, but when your family said they would be there and then didn’t show, that set up expectations that were not met.

There’s no such thing as a “wrong” way to feel, only more and less appropriate ways to deal with those feelings. Please sit your mom down, in person, and calmly let her know a) how you feel, and why, b) how you would like things to be different.

Be prepared to hear that she doesn’t have time for you, or that she cannot help in the way you need. The goal is for y’all to have an honest conversation about expectations moving forward. “Mom, I appreciate how helpful you were with little Fauntleroy, it meant a lot to me.

I know you have more on your plate now, but I hope you can find some time for Griselda as well.” Congratulations on your new baby! It’s a tough adjustment, but you can do this! And you’re never too old to want your mom.” Iamanamalgam

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
Pabs7 1 month ago
I’m not going to call you a jerk for your feelings.
However, they’ve disappointed you on several occasions, so it’s time for you to lower your expectations. And maybe not be so available to them because of your own family constraints.

And a few months down the road when mom & sis are complaining that they never see you, you can say “well you guys are so busy with your lives and I’m so busy with mine that it just doesn’t seem to be working out”.

They’ll either get the point or they won’t.
3 Reply
View 2 more comments

3. AITJ For Skipping My Sister's Wedding Because She Refuses To Let Me Bring My Service Dog?

Pexels

“My sister is getting married and has banned my Service Dog from her wedding and reception.

I have a fairly severe anxiety disorder. To combat this, I got a Service Dog. My Dog has made a major positive change in my life.

I can go places again! Another thing to keep in mind: My dog is probably an Australian Shepherd, Boarder Collie mix. She is also the most chill, laid-back, and affectionate dog I have ever had the pleasure of working with.

Her entire personality is sleep, and ‘can I has pets??’ She’s insanely well-behaved, especially when we go places. I get lots of compliments about this, including from the Mental Health professionals that work with me.

My sister’s reasoning for banning my service dog, and I quote: “I don’t want dog hair on the most expensive dress I will ever wear.” My sister is also worried about my Dog’s behavior.

Like barking, or getting into food. My Dog really doesn’t do either of these things. Well, she barks if my sister’s kids come over because she LOVES my sister’s kids and is excited about them!! (She also used to lick my sister’s kids’ faces cuz they are very small, but my sister didn’t like this, so I made my Dog stop.) But my Dog is trained NOT to bark when she is wearing her vest.

She has never done so while working. She responds well to the word no, and the ‘leave it’ command. Again, super well-mannered dog. She legit just lays down when we go to the movies or a doctor’s appointment and chills out or falls asleep.

My sister believes none of this and has barely seen my service dog in action.

After my sister decided this, both I and my parents tried to compromise. My dog does shed, but there are ways to combat this. Like a groomer, anti-shed shampoo, a good brush out the day of, and staying away from my sister on that day.

My sister is unyielding.

Now the wedding is small and at a Church I dislike (cuz when I went to talk to a pastor about this situation, he basically told me to outgrow having an anxiety disorder.) So that’s stressful.

And of course, there are people I don’t know there. The reception would be even worse for me because it will be loud, full of people, most of whom I won’t know, and full of people who stress me out (most of my extended family and I are iffy on the getting along front.

Probably has something to do with being the Liberal Ace NB Cousin? Not the point.) Will also say, my anxiety and depression have been super high for the last year or so.

So, as much as it pains me, I cannot go to my sister’s wedding.

My mental health is not stable enough. I need my Service Dog’s assistance in all public spaces in order to live the best life I can. I am going with some church friends (good humans, I promise) to a planetarium instead.

She has been informed of this. Not going is probably gonna hurt her feelings, and strain our already strained relationship.

So, AITJ?

EDIT: My dog is trained to do pressure therapy. She uses her weight to ground me to prevent or shorten anxiety attacks.

This is done by leaning, laying, or sitting on me. Sorry, should’ve mentioned it!”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ. You responded to another poster sharing specific tasks your dog is trained to perform that support your needs for your disability. If this was a dog that helped you navigate because you were blind, I doubt anyone would question this.

I’m sorry that someone like your own sister isn’t being understanding of your need to have your service animal with you. It is absolutely okay if this makes it so you cannot attend, your sister is the one forcing you to have to make a choice here and that is on her.

I hope you already know and believe this, but your needs are valid, your anxiety and depression are valid, and your identities are valid. Honestly, you may have a much nicer day if you spend it with people that support you exactly for who you are instead of going somewhere where the pastor and family won’t make you feel that way.” Disneyland4Ever

Another User Comments:

“NTJ.

This isn’t someone’s random pet, your dog provides a vital service.

I wonder if your being that cousin of the family has a lot to do with it, as you’ve said; your sister has probably convinced herself that you can be pushed to sit down and shut up and pretend to be perfectly average in every regard, as long as she prevents your bringing such an obvious symbol that you’re not part of her cookie-cutter fantasy.

I am suspecting she’s excluding the dog because she thinks she can use social pressure to enforce complete ‘normality’ for her wedding.” TimTam_the_Enchanter

Another User Comments:

“No jerks here.

I’ve seen your comments, your dog appears to be trained with your specific order which does satisfy the needs; however, you also claim the dog behaves, well like a dog, when it sees your sister’s kids (kissing them, barking in excitement, etc).

These behaviors lead it more to be a pet with great training. Regardless it is your sister’s event and she has a right to say the dog is not allowed AND you have the right to not show up.

One other thing, you mention these behaviors show up when the vest is off and thus playtime, has your dog been heavily worked (this will be a multi-hour event) around family and people it knows? How will you handle the dog needing to go to the bathroom, if the event is 5hrs and whatnot?

I would suggest a compromise have a 3rd person (perhaps one of your friends) have the dog outside the church/venue on a leash just hanging out.

If you feel your anxiety creeping up, take a leave temporarily outside to go to your service dog. This would ease your sister as the dog will not shed on her dress or get to the food yet give you some comfort that he/she is right outside.

But back to my original statement no jerks here. You both have a right to either not show or not be invited with the dog.” Big_lt

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
Alliauraa 3 weeks ago
NTJ The dog is a Service Dog, not a "support animal" and has received specialized training to act in a specific manner to nonverbal cues.
Your sister is an interesting, anyone who suggests that you should accommodate bridezilla to your own detriment is delusional.
Good on you for skipping the wedding.
0 Reply

2. AITJ For Giving A Ten Day Notice Instead Of 2 Weeks?

Unsplash

“I worked in a library for two years. I was friends with the assistant director for YEARS before I got this position – she was the teen librarian when I was a teen and offered me the job when I graduated college.

It’s always been part-time, and I’ve left once already in 2017 to work in another city for a short amount of time. I gave a month’s notice for that, worked 3 months at a job I ended up hating, worked at a summer camp for a month, and finally came back to the library.

It was an agreement with no hard feelings – they had found someone to replace me pretty easily, but by the time I came back, she wasn’t working and was leaving anyway. This came back to bite me but it seemed amicable at the time.

Boss-friend has always been a very difficult person to work with.

For a plethora of reasons (bad childhood, lonely living conditions) she’s just been a miserable person for a long time. She’s run out a slew of her supervisors and has been offered the supervisory position many times but always turns it down.

She’s very much the captain of her own ship – great benefits, mortgage paid off (by dad, she inherited the house so essentially that’s free), three weeks PTO every year, good salary – but has this mindset that she’s trapped and takes it out on a lot of people, mostly those she works with since she doesn’t socialize outside of work.

Those 3 weeks of vacation time she gets, I’ve watched her spend them the past 2 years I’ve worked with her by staying cooped up in her house with her cats for 21 days straight.

This is just a piece of why I left.

Her boss, the director, has been creating a hostile environment for employees. The high school is half a mile from the library, and every day at 2:30 on the dot we get a really rough crowd from the high school.

Kids who smoke in front of the library, break computers, steal from each other, curse out other patrons, etc. No one minds that they’re there – they can spend all day in the library for all any of us care, but they’re so hostile towards everyone that it makes others feel unsafe.

Patrons have called the cops before, they’ve filed complaints with the library director and the board, and they’ve told us they won’t come in because these kids scare them. The director’s attitude about all this was that they act out here because they can’t go home since it isn’t safe for them, so we essentially have to give them a safe space to act out in.

Of course, she doesn’t handle this – we employees do. She stays in her office upstairs and away from the kids. Even when they pull her into it, like when another patron complains or when the cops are called, they play her like a fiddle.

So after weeks of dealing with a combination of my miserable assistant director, rowdy and downright violent kids, patrons complaining and nothing being done, and multiple police reports, it finally came to a head for me.

I’d been actively searching for new work and had had a few interviews. I hadn’t made any promises to any new company, hadn’t even been offered anything yet, and I was on the teen desk working. I get a complaint that the kids are messing with the handicapped doors.

I go out to tell them to knock it off, and they tell me of course they aren’t doing anything. I tell them I just got a complaint and I could see you guys on the camera messing with it, so if you really want to fight me on this, I’ll show you the cameras.

Just stop messing with the doors, that’s all I’m asking. In or out, pick one.

This kid LOST it. Told me to shut the heck up. I told him to leave and not come back, and I’ve been told by both director and assistant director that if you give them directions in a situation like that and they don’t comply, you can call the cops.

When he came back 20 minutes later, I called the cops. My director rips me a new one. Tells me I shouldn’t have done that, I went at it with the wrong attitude, and she knows that that kid is a good kid at heart and is just acting out for x y z reasons.

(I don’t know about you guys but my childhood wasn’t golden either and I never once spoke that way to anyone.) This is the excuse she always gives for their violent behavior, and I’ve yet to see proof of it.

I pretty much decided then and there to quit as soon as I found a new job.

Lo and behold after I leave that shift, I have a job offer email. Can I start in about two weeks minus a day? This was a Tuesday this all happened, they were asking me to start the Monday after the next one.

I said absolutely and told my boss immediately as I hadn’t left the break room yet that the Friday of the following week would be my last day.

My assistant director had a MELTDOWN on me, said it was completely unprofessional and that she was so angry at me (in front of co-workers and patrons sitting at the public computers she yelled at me), and berated me for twenty minutes in her office.

Didn’t let me get a word in even though I was telling her with the new, full-time job it was the best I could do and that I was sorry. I knew already she wasn’t going to listen and just wanted to yell at me, as per her personality.

This is what’s getting me riled up now – on top of this I heard from a co-worker that the assistant director is telling everyone I gave ZERO notice and quit on the spot.

I did finish those ten days, with no callouts or lazing around, and offered to train a replacement. So everyone else has been taking on my hours (part-time but about 34 hours a week) and responsibilities and probably feels overwhelmed already.

And now I’m the bad guy for it because she’s been telling people I quit on the spot with no consideration for them. They’ve been spreading us all thin for about 6 months now without hiring newly needed staff and if I was going to wait for them to hire someone new before getting a new job, it would be another 6 months of being cursed out by teens before I could get out.

Am I the jerk? I know it was unprofessional to give less than 2 weeks.

It really was the best I could do. I guess I could have told the new job I had to start later, but this was a few weeks ago (over a month), and the library still hasn’t replaced my position.

They’re spreading everyone else thin. And now they’re being told it’s my fault and when I go in as a patron I’m getting the cold shoulder. So AITJ?”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ. A two-week notice is a courtesy and is only deserved if a company treats you well.

Also, a two-week notice is supposed to go both ways. Both times I was laid off, they gave me two weeks’ pay in lieu of a notice, so I respected them for it and didn’t have anything bad to say about the company regarding the layoff.

If a work environment is toxic or unsafe, you should definitely quit without notice if you are able to do so.” Imago_Mothtoya

Another User Comments:

“The only thing to be gained from giving notice is the obvious income from working out your notice, and the reasonable chance that you could get hired back if you apply. It sounds like neither you nor your boss wants you there anymore, so quite honestly you could walk out, work 10 days, whatever. NTJ.” B0SSMANT0M

0 points (0 votes)
Post

User Image
Pabs7 1 month ago
NTJ. And don’t be so concerned about what everybody else thinks. If they’re stupid enough to believe your crazy obnoxious former boss that’s their problem.
1 Reply
View 1 more comment

1. AITJ For Not Letting My Kids Eat The Rotten Food My Wife Prepared?

Pexels

“My wife and I have 3 kids aged 4yo, and 6yo twins.

Yesterday morning, I cleaned out the refrigerator and got rid of some veggies that had been lying there for almost a week and were a bit soft (meaning that they were no longer good to eat at least in my opinion).

I had put them into a plastic bag and kept them near the sink to be disposed of at night when I usually throw the trash. I told my wife that the veggies in the bag near the sink looked off to me so I’d be throwing them that night.

She said ok. I dropped the kids to school and went to work after that.

When I came home, my wife had prepared dinner so I just got cleaned up and we sat down to dinner. My wife got up to get some yogurt for herself and I was serving food on everyone’s plates.

Just as I started to serve myself, I felt the food was smelling really bad to the point of making me nauseous. I asked my wife what ingredients she put in the food, she said just the usual meat and veggies.

However, there had been no fresh ingredients at home yesterday morning when I left home so I asked her if she went and bought fresh meat and veggies from the supermarket. She looked a bit taken aback by my questions and hesitated a bit before answering yes.

I knew then that she’d used the very food that I’d kept near the sink in the plastic bag. I took the kids’ plates away and was about to take her plate as well when she said that I was being overdramatic and that the food didn’t smell bad at all to her or the kids.

She said that the kids didn’t even complain and I’m making such an issue out of nothing. The thing is I’m very sensitive to smell and I was 100% sure that the food wasn’t fit to be eaten by the kids.

I told her that she can eat rotten food if she likes but our kids will not be eating it. I got the kids and myself a cup of noodles each as it would take very long for me to cook for us and it was nearly bedtime for them too.

This morning, since I woke up my wife has been ignoring me and refused to cook for the kids until we finished the stew that she prepared last night. I proceeded to cook food for myself and the kids.

When she saw that I cooked another meal, she went to stay at her mom’s place and is refusing to come back.

AITJ?

Edit 1: I did put the veggies and meat into a trash bag and kept it near the sink as usual so that we can keep adding kitchen waste into it throughout the day.

I did not leave the spoiled food on the kitchen counter. We don’t keep the kitchen waste trash bag outside because street dogs attack the trash bags and dirty the whole place. We throw trash in the garbage truck at night because the garbage truck is parked near our house every night.

My wife did not eat the food she prepared. She often goes to her mom’s place when we argue.”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ. 1. If the veggies were blackened, that’s not good, 2. She lied to you. If she honestly believed there was nothing wrong with it then why didn’t she make that argument?

Also, you said there was no fresh meat either…

did she use expired meat??

Honestly, don’t mess around with food when it comes to kids. They need as many nutrients as possible. And as for the undermining your wife thing, she should have either been upfront and discussed it instead of lying or should have just got fresh ingredients like she claimed to have done.” Sassubus

Another User Comments:

“NTJ, HELLO COMMENTERS, SHE LITERALLY LIED TO HIS FACE!

He asked her if she used fresh meat/veg and she lied and said yes.

He acted right by his kids and played it safe and she got defensive for being called out on her nonsense.

ALSO, SHE WASN’T EVEN EATING HER FOOD! If I’m OP I’m handing her a big bowl of it and telling her if she’s SO confident then she can eat it.

And then when she’s puking her guts out she can learn her lesson.” KingWeeWoo

Another User Comments:

“NTJ

It’s easy to go off on tangents on the actual freshness of the food or question how you took the stew away from the kids.

But the reality is that your wife overrode a decision you made, hid that from you, and then outright lied to you. Those are huge issues.

You told your wife you felt the food was bad & were throwing it out.

She decided – without telling you – to override your decision. That was wrong. And the food was unrefrigerated overnight and the next day so the condition was worse than when you’d made your decision.

The prepared stew (which she served to others but wasn’t eating) smelled and you questioned her.

She lied. You caught her and she admitted it.

The next morning, she’s giving you the silent treatment. She doubles down and refuses to cook again until the kids eat the spoiled stew. You cook something else for the kids.

She leaves for her mother’s.

Your wife’s behavior is very concerning. She completely ignored what you said, not even discussing anything with you. And she seemed fixated on getting her own way.

It may be good to get her some professional help asap and not leave your children alone with her.” Mermaidtoo

Another User Comments:

“OP… saying this as someone who is hypersensitive to smell and taste… YTJ.

A week? That’s it?

You gave your kids processed noodle soup with no vegetables instead of letting them eat vegetables that were slightly soft? Come on. Wilted vegetables are not rotten vegetables.

But also why did you leave them in a bag by the sink instead of putting them in the trash? You can’t do a single thing for yourself? Your wife is not your servant.

If you want fresh vegetables every day, order them and have them delivered. Or just buy them yourself.” ultrarelative

Another User Comments:

“I have a hard time believing there was anything wrong with those veggies other than in OP’s mind.

I also have a hard time believing that his wife would use rotten food to feed herself and the kids.

I cut bad spots out of fruits and veggies all the time!

If his wife is so frustrated she left, this seems like it might be a piece of a bigger pattern.

This guy can smell slightly soft veggies that have been cooked with other stuff when no one else can?

Sure, dude.

YTJ.” JennieGee

0 points (0 votes)
Post

User Image
cabr4 1 month ago
Ntj. Hello wife was eating yogurt and not the stew. If it was fine why not eat it herself.
2 Reply
View 3 more comments

Sometimes it's obvious, other times it's not! You be the judge about who's the jerk! Upvote, downvote, and comment on your favorite stories by signing up for a Metaspoon account. Click Log In at the top right corner of this page to get started. (Note: Some stories have been shortened and modified for our audiences)