People Request That We Judge Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories Objectively
36. AITJ For Trying To Make My In-Laws Understand My Family Dynamics?
“I (25 f) am engaged to Dare (26 m).
We both have a similarish background. Both lost our moms young, both had our dads remarry. Only he adores his stepmom and calls her mom these days as do all his siblings from his biological parents’ marriage. While my sister (27 f) and I never called our stepmom anything other than her name in conversation, and we have always emphasized the step or we say our dad’s wife if we feel someone might call her our mom.
Dare knows all about my feelings and even though we don’t have the same perspective on our dads’ second marriages, we respect that it was different for each other, and what we wanted was different.
His family have always been nice and they knew about me having a stepmom.
So everyone came together for the first time three weeks ago over dinner at my in-laws’.
It was there that my future MIL got talking to my dad’s wife and learned I was 8 when she became my stepmother and learned that she had been more than willing to become mine and my sister’s second mom. She and my future FIL started asking questions about why we were so resistant and asking Dare if he knew about it and if it caused issues.
It was so very awkward. My stepmother was eagerly engaging too and saying we never gave her a chance to be a mom, never loved her or let her into our hearts, and how it broke her.
I told my future in-laws that our families just worked differently and my sister and I were different from their kids, with different wants at that time in our lives.
Future MIL tried telling me how much love she has for my fiance and how it benefitted him and how it could benefit me if I let my stepmother be the same to me. I told her it just didn’t work that way for me. Her husband brought up even more and even included how it made him and his kids closer because they embraced his wife truly, and trusted him to find them a loving second mother.
Dare told them to leave it alone, that it wasn’t their business. They weren’t happy about that so I told them it was not for us and they weren’t going to change my mind so could the conversation change.
They were really unhappy with me. So was my dad, who liked all the points made by my future in-laws, my sister joked after that we didn’t grow to love her kids or after 17 years, we weren’t going to start loving her now all of a sudden and maybe we needed to wash the ickiness of that whole conversation off.
My fiance has been getting crap from his parents about it. They think I was rude. I got a message from his dad saying I diminished the love they have for each other and that I should apologize to them and my ‘parents’. My fiance thinks they’re crazy, his siblings do too. AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Asking Some Mothers To Supervise Their Own Children?
“So I (18 F) recently started to work at an ice skating rink part-time to earn some funds for myself since I’m still waiting for university to start.
The rink has just officially opened this week and so far there have been no issues with the customers.
But today was the type of day where I knew it was going to be a bad day. I’m not a rink attendant but since there isn’t enough staff, I help out there as the cashier has enough people.
Part of the job of a rink attendant is to go into the ice rink and make sure that skaters are following the rules and that no one is seriously hurt.
During one session, there were a lot of children, and I was the only one who was in the rink watching the skaters, and it was very hard to keep an eye on all of them.
Lots of these children couldn’t skate properly and kept falling, so I had to go and help them get up because they were struggling too. There were three mothers with their children in the ice skating rink. They were a big mess the whole time. They bought way too many skating aids and never kept an eye on their own children.
They were always on their own, chatting amongst each other while their children were constantly falling and there was even one boy who was purposely pushing the other kids down. I’m not a parent but I know that you should always keep an eye on your toddler because they could get hurt easily, especially in the ice skating rink.
But these mothers were still chatting at the side of the rink, not even looking at their own children.
I know the customer is always right and whatever, and that parents hate being told how to parent their children, even more by a teenager, but I was so fed up that I went up to them and asked them to ‘please keep an eye on your children because I can’t keep watching them for you as there are other children in the rink as well.’ I said it in a neutral tone and did not yell, shout or raise my voice.
The lady I spoke to agreed, but she and her friends did not keep an eye on their children. I told myself ‘Screw it’ and just ignored them and let them fall and push each other. I don’t particularly like children, but I try my very best to tolerate them since this definitely came with the job.
I had other children to keep an eye on and help get up.
Then after the session ended, my supervisor pulled me aside and asked me about the situation. She told me that they had complained about me and said that I ‘scolded’ them. Honestly, if they fired me because of this, I wouldn’t really care as I just got my pay anyways.
And I honestly don’t get paid enough for the things that I do. But my supervisor was understanding and agreed it wasn’t my fault.”
34. WIBTJ If I Don't Want To Cook For My Aunt?
“My aunt came over yesterday for dinner and to do Christmas. I’m 16 and live with my mom but work part-time.
My mom had to work yesterday and said she wanted to have something ‘simple’ for dinner. I didn’t have to work so I offered to make pizza. I bought (paid for myself) the ingredients last time we went grocery shopping.
So yesterday I made 3 pizzas. So we each had toppings we like and there’d be leftovers.
I admit I didn’t make the dough for the crust, but the stuff I bought was more expensive/higher quality of the premade options and it still needed to be rolled out and everything.
So I made the pizzas, and my mom made a salad and some garlic bread.
My aunt came over and we had dinner. My aunt was taking her pieces of pizza and scraping the toppings off and eating it. I asked what she was doing and she said she had seen crustless pizza advertised and wanted to try it. I asked what she was going to do with the crust and she said ‘Throw it out probably, unless one of you guys wants it’.
My mom and I didn’t. So she threw it out.
I was kinda annoyed and said, ‘I wouldn’t have wasted time making your crust and would have just heated up sauce cheese and your toppings for you if I’d known you were going to throw it out’.
She said, ‘No, this is better that would have been like soup, this way I don’t get full as fast’.
My mom said, ‘Some people eat things their own way’.
I said ‘Yea, but it’s nice to know before making it for them’.
My aunt said, ‘Well I don’t normally eat pizza like this, but I wanted to try it. It’s good and I can eat more this way’.
I just said whatever and tried to ignore it.
But I was annoyed the rest of the time she was here.
When my aunt left I told my mom I’m never cooking for her again because I wasted time and money on her crust just for her to throw it out.
My mom said, ‘You can’t make people eat things the way you want them to just because you cooked it, some people just eat things differently.
Nothing to get mad over’.
I said ‘But she doesn’t do that normally, she just randomly decided to ‘try it’. I’m not wasting my time and money on someone that does that besides it was kinda rude’.
My mom said I was being weird and to get over it.
I’m not mad anymore, but I know there will be a time in the future when I’m asked to cook.
WIBTJ if I refuse if my aunt is going to be there? Because who knows she could decide to try something weird and waste half then too.”
33. AITJ For Selling The House My Son Lives In?
“My wife and I bought a four-bedroom house in PA that my son lives in. Our son went to College in PA and wanted to stay in the area. So we bought the house as a second home, we live in NJ and commute to Manhattan for work.
We figured that he would have a place to live and we could visit every so often and spend some quality time together.
We pay the taxes and services/maintenance on the house, our son pays for his groceries and the house utilities. All was going well for a few years, our son meets a girl and they get serious.
We met her and she seems nice enough. They announce their engagement and she moves into the house with our son.
Now for the problem: The wedding!
We hold a little get-to-know-you BBQ at the PA house, my son and daughter are there, as are our son’s fiancé and her parents, and sisters. We all seem to be getting along well, my wife, daughter, and the fiancé go into the house along with her mother and sisters and my son.
A few minutes later my wife and daughter come out and are really upset. They come over and tell me we’re leaving and driving back to NJ. I try to find out what happened.
Once we get back to NJ and they calmed down they tell me that our son and his fiancé along with her family don’t want us at the wedding.
According to what I was told, ‘We’re not their kind of people’. I was livid, I called my son and asked him what this was about. He tells me that her family feels that we are not good enough and will embarrass them at a family wedding and that we are all uninvited from the wedding.
I let a week go by to calm myself down and drive back to the PA house, the new future in-laws are in the house along with the fiancé. It appears that they all moved into the house They ask me why I’m there, and I tell them that since we aren’t invited to the wedding, I was coming over to talk to my son.
They tell me to leave their house. I lost it, and told them that they had 30 days to get out. Tell my son I’m selling the house and he could find somewhere else to live with all of you. I go to a realtor in town and list the house for sale.
They call my son at work and tell him what I said.
Apparently, they thought that he owned the house. He calls me and asks why I’m selling his house, I tell him I paid for it along with the taxes on it and it is mine. He was living there rent-free, but since he doesn’t want us in his new life, he has to get out.
I tell him the same as I told his future in-laws they have 30 days to get out then I’ll get a lawyer and get them evicted.
Am I the jerk for taking a hard stance on this? He is my son but the in-laws seem to take over and we no longer count.”
32. AITJ For Refusing To Buy Nut-Free Food For My Sister's Husband?
“Every year, either I (35 M) or my sister (32 F) plan and host a birthday party for my mom. My BIL (33 M) has a major nut allergy that could send him to the hospital if consumed. Normally, when I plan, I make sure to include nut-free options for the food.
This year, it was my turn to throw the party and my sister had told me that my BIL (let’s call him Tyler) would be away on a business trip. I had all of the catering planned out, we were ordering from my mom’s favorite restaurant which we hadn’t been able to order in the years prior due to the fact they weren’t nut free.
This specific restaurant is very expensive and I had to spend almost all of the party budget, which is my own money, on the food.
Two days before the party my sister tells me the trip was canceled and that Tyler is planning on coming to the party. She asked me if I’d be willing to buy some nut-free food for him.
I told her that I had already spent a ton of money on the party and that she could bring her own food for him. She responded by saying that this wasn’t her year to plan and that since the party is my job this year I should be able to buy some nut-free food.
I refused.
My sister brought food for him after I ignored her phone calls but she basically didn’t talk to me the whole time. At the end of the party, she confronted me and told me she was extremely shocked by how I acted and that I was being immature. The fight got very heated and she stormed out and left without saying goodbye to anyone, which I found extremely rude.
I think she’s being irrational and expecting way too much, especially since she told me only two days in advance, but she claims that this is part of my job as planning the party and I’m being inconsiderate.
AITJ?”
31. AITJ For Refusing To Give Up My Train Seat For A Pregnant Lady?
“I (F 21) was driving back home from my parents’ place the other day. They live a 2-hour train ride away and I spent several days there, so I took my cat with me.
He’s used to the train rides and usually just sleeps thru. I also usually have the carrier on the seat next to me, but whenever the train gets full I put it on my lap so other people can sit.
So this very pregnant woman comes in (I’m not good with guessing months but she was pretty big so I assume at least 6 months?), and the train is full so naturally I took the carrier on my lap and offered her the seat next to me.
She refused and said that she’s allergic to cats and can’t sit next to one. She then asked me if I’d mind leaving my seat and standing, so she could still sit down.
I refused because a) I still had like 1.5 hours ahead of me and b) had a backpack, the cat carrier, and an additional bag with me, and honestly don’t know how to hold it while standing.
I could tell she was mad and said that’s a bit ‘dangerous’ to calculate a sitting seat into my travel plans, but another guy then offered her his seat and sit next to me and my cat. When she left the train she walked past our seat again and thanked the guy for ‘being the only decent person on the train’.
I told this story to my parents the other day and my mom said that I was being rude, and said that I should’ve stood up because if the guy hadn’t offered his seat, the pregnant woman would’ve had to stand her whole train ride. Which is bad manners.
But I don’t understand why I should’ve stood up when I already made space for another person next to me.
So AITJ?”
30. AITJ For Not Wanting To Give My Nephew Back To His Terrible Father?
“I (M 40) and my brother (M 42) went to court because when he did have custody of my nephew (M 15) when he was 2, he and his ex would neglect him heavily.
We had frequent arguments before deciding to go to court, as I simply couldn’t stand by knowing my special needs nephew wasn’t being fed, suffering from diaper rashes due to not being changed, and living in a dirty and unhealthy environment.
At the time, my brother and his ex were not in the right places and suffered heavily from substance misuse amongst other things, so my nephew was an accident.
In court, my brother gave up his rights saying he was never ready to be a parent and he and his ex lost full parental custody of their son and I was given full custody of him.
Fast forward, my nephew (who I see as my son) is now 15. I suddenly get a message on social media from my brother saying that he split with his ex, and has become a much better man than he was 13 years ago and wants me to give him back his son.
He kept saying how he wants to be in his son’s life and regrets what happened when he used to have custody of him. If it was just to see him, I would be all for it. But he started demanding I give him back permanently so my nephew can have in his words, ‘a normal uncle/nephew relationship with me and a normal father/son relationship with him.’
Needless to say, I refused to suddenly up and give up my nephew, who I raised for 13 years, to someone who mistreated him in the past. Nonetheless, his special needs would make it so it would be detrimental to his health if I suddenly up and basically abandoned him. He threatened to go to court with me over his custody, and I asked my nephew whether or not he’d want to live with his father again, and he told me that he wouldn’t want to because I’m basically his father now and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
After telling my brother this, I suddenly get an influx of messages from family saying I’m wrong for not giving back my nephew to his rightful father and for apparently manipulating him into taking sides. The situation has been very overwhelming for me, and it made me wonder if I am the jerk for not allowing those familial bonds.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Brother For The Holidays?
“My (43 f) parents put my brother (35 m) into sports when he was 8, it turned out that he was athletically talented. After found this out, my parents and many other people had high expectations of him and put a lot of pressure on him. They wanted him to become a pro but my brother was never interested. When he was 18, everyone turned on him when he told them he was going to college instead of turning pro.
I help him as much as I could when I was there and when I moved out. We stopped talking to our parents until a few years ago.
Our parents went to therapy and are good grandparents. I’m good friends with his wife, so she knows about their change and after a few interactions between them (my brother was aware of this), she wanted to give them a second chance with their children, but not without my brother’s approval; my brother agreed but with boundaries.
My relationship with our parents is decent. My brother is civil with them but that’s it, his wife is just a bit friendly but she also keeps them at arm’s length.
Now, I was going to spend the holidays with our parents but because their house renovations are taking longer than expected, they are coming to my house.
My brother knows this and has no problem, he is going to celebrate with his in-laws anyway.
Our parents asked me if I could invite my brother and his family and I refused. They told me that if I invited them, they would come and I answered them that that is exactly why I’m not going to.
I don’t want the holidays to be awkward and if they want to make amends with him, they should be the ones to reach out.
It turned into a small argument and I ended up telling them that they are lucky that my brother acknowledges them. They should be grateful that his wife is such a sweetheart because it’s because of her that he barely talks to them.
They should be careful how they proceed from now on because it could blow in their faces.
They say I was too harsh and they just want to fix their relationship with him and I could help. I could, but I don’t think it’s my place to do it. I don’t want to jeopardize my relationship with him and his wife when he has been very clear to everyone that he’s not interested.”
28. AITJ For Correcting My Daughters' Bad Behavior?
“Yesterday, my daughters (9, 6, and 4) and I were making popcorn and our microwave exploded, so today my partner brought over a spare one until we get the original one replaced.
My partner was carrying the microwave up to the house and my 9-year-old and 6-year-old raced out to hug him, and I guess Amanda (my 4y-year-old) got mad that she wasn’t fast enough because when he was walking up the porch steps she just ran out from behind me and jumped on the box!
My partner started to tilt backward, but he was able to swing her into the flower bed and catch himself. He shouted at her, ‘Don’t ever do that again! You could have got hurt!’ and stormed into the house.
She burst out crying and, after making sure she was unhurt, I scolded her for her action and told her to go and apologize.
I took her inside to the kitchen and she apologized. He said, ‘It’s okay,’ knelt down, hugged her, and apologized for swinging her into the flower bed and yelling at her. She didn’t say anything at first, so he asked, ‘Is it okay? Do you accept my apology?’
My partner told my daughters that whenever he apologizes to them, they have the option to say ‘It’s okay’ if they want to forgive him right then and there or they can say ‘I accept your apology’ if they’re still a bit mad at him and don’t want to forgive him yet.
Amanda had the audacity to say, ‘I want to think about it.’ My partner laughed and said, ‘Okay’ but I was mad! When he left to go to the bathroom, I told my daughter that there was nothing to ‘think about’ and that she needed to accept his apology because he didn’t need to apologize in the first place.
She went and told him, ‘Mommy said I have to accept your apology, do I?’ and he said, ‘Not until you’re ready.’
I sent the kids outside and we got into a fight because he said defeats the purpose to force them to accept an apology and I told him that he was being too soft and letting them manipulate him.
I told him that he shouldn’t have apologized in the first place and that they were going to turn into spoiled brats if he kept apologizing for things he shouldn’t and letting them apologize when they felt like it.
He went for a drive and he’s not answering his calls. I feel bad, but I feel right.
He’s a good guy, but he treats my daughters like they’re his and just lets them walk all over him. And then when I have to step in and correct my daughter’s bad behavior, I’m the bad guy. I don’t know anymore. AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Making A Post About My Hospital Visitation Rules?
“When I gave birth to my first biological child, everybody showed up at the hospital. I didn’t have a moment of downtime, two sets of grandparents argued, and I literally did NOT get left alone.
Everybody had pictures all over the internet, nobody washed their hands… I did not enjoy myself.
So, fast forward almost seven years later, I’m giving birth a second time. Without going into detail, my husband and I both have our share of pushy family members. We decided to limit visitors to my parents, my stepdaughter (if her mom has to bring her to see the baby, that’s entirely reasonable), and the daughter we had together.
We also decided to ask people to call before coming once we get home. Asked that people not share pictures behind our backs with people we have conflicts with. Please wash your hands, don’t come if you’re sick, etc.
I just decided to share all this in a very general social media post. That way, everybody sees it and nobody gets confused or offended.
But… guess what? Someone got offended.
I have a few family members who had a bad habit of pulling up at our house last time, honking, coming to the door, and expecting us to wake up our daughter after she was born.
My brother and his wife are our neighbors. They recently moved to town about a year ago after living two hours away.
They felt this was pointed at them because they’ll honk in the driveway sometimes. It wasn’t, the post specifically stated not to do that because we had issues when our daughter was a BABY. They didn’t even live near us then. I sent out nicely worded, sincere apologies to both my brother and his wife explaining the situation because I can see where it might have caused confusion since they DO honk in our driveway.
My brother is fine.
My SIL won’t speak to me. She says I was rude, it wasn’t the point, she wanted to see the baby in the hospital, she shouldn’t have to call, etc… threw a huge fit, and called my mother… I’m less than a week away from giving birth. She invited us over to eat supper and wouldn’t even speak to me, even when I complimented her cooking or asked about her day.
She feels like everything was pointed at her and nothing was… nothing at all.
I don’t know what to do or how to make it better, I’ve tried.
So, AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Blocking My Boss' Number While I'm On Vacation?
“My partner (29 m) and I (26 f) are currently long-distance. We take turns visiting each other. He came to see me after almost two months of not seeing each other. We finally were to make plans. I requested to have five days off which was approved from my job.
I’ve worked there for six years. I’m a security guard at a department store.
It was after my shift, and I was heading out quickly. I had to pick my partner up from the airport. I clocked out, and while I was saying bye to everyone. My new boss of 2 weeks stopped me, and he asked if I could cover a shift. Since one of my co-workers called in sick.
We’re short-staffed, and he needs me to stay for a couple of hours more. I had a 10-hour shift. I was exhausted.
I responded no. I’m sorry, but I’m unable to do that, and I can’t stay late. I have covered shifts in the past. I don’t mind, but I had somewhere to be.
I mentioned I was picking up someone at the airport. He told me they could take an Uber. My partner wouldn’t be happy with me if I did to him. Also, he has no key to my apartment.
No one else wanted to stay, and I was the third person he asked to that said no. I said sorry, I can’t just tonight, another time.
He called me a lousy worker, and I’m not a team player. I said, guess I’m not a team player and I walked passed him. I called out. I’ll see him in five days. While driving to the airport, I kept getting calls and texts from him; it got so bad that I had to pull over to turn off my phone.
My boss wanted me to come back to work.
I had to turn on my phone, so my partner could contact me. My phone was flooded with text messages. Ding after ding I think I got close to 15 texts. I blocked his number.
I was so happy to see my partner. I was getting emails from my boss constantly when I was supposed to be on my time off.
I didn’t respond to and I rarely take a vacation. One, he was asking me stuff that I didn’t know the answer to. Second, even if I did, I’m not telling him. I don’t know; I was starting to get petty.
I still had fun with my partner. When I went to work, my boss called me into his office.
He blew up at me for being unprofessional, and he’s still new to this job. I should’ve helped or at least replied to the emails. I responded other people could’ve helped him. It’s not my responsibility when it’s my vacation time. I got my first write-up ever.
Is this something I’m missing?
Did I do something inherently wrong here? I’m actually considering reporting him. He is still new to his job. Am I the jerk?”
25. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be Close To My Cousin And His Son?
“My mum has treated her nephew (46 M) like her son, to the extent he calls her mom and his own mom by her name. My nephew is a good person but I think has been spoilt by a lot of attention – he had no dad growing up and so everyone really compensated by being very nice to him and that he could do no wrong.
We live in separate countries and always have.
In the last 5 years, my relationship with him has soured. When my dad died (we knew he was terminal) he delayed organising his flights and visa. We had to schedule the funeral around him. He also insisted on bringing his special needs son (5 M at the time), thinking that I (36 F) and my mum would look after him.
I told him off that we were grieving and couldn’t look after him while also just trying to get by. He used to help manage my parents’ finances and it was so poorly handled – I had to reconcile decades of neglect and he didn’t acknowledge that he had given bad advice. My mom and dad could never see him do any wrong, even after I raised all these issues.
When he did visit after my dad passed, he didn’t lift a finger or even make any conversation – my mum waited on him. Not once did he ask if she was okay or needed anything.
My mom has a big soft spot for my cousin’s son. They video chat every night etc. I do not share the same feelings – I don’t have any ill will, but I’ve just had enough of my cousin and the favoritism.
My mom wants to leave money for this child but doesn’t know how much and how to do so. I’ve told her that the best is if my cousin sets up a trust to safeguard his future, and then she documents everything in her will. Despite me helping my cousin with researching various options for the trust etc he has done nothing and makes excuses.
My mom expressed that she wants us all to be close and be there for each other. But I told her it’s unfair to have that expectation of me when (1) we’ve never been close like that (2) I don’t have a burning desire to continue this relationship – her experience and history with him is not mine.
She thinks I’m the jerk because I should be there as the kid has special needs and who else do they have? But I have my hands full with my family and frankly, I’m fed up with my cousin’s attitude and my mom’s favoritism. We had a big fight and I just am so upset that she can’t see it from my angle.
And now I’m wondering if I should make more of an effort for the child’s sake.”
24. AITJ For Being Annoyed At My Partner For Still Saying A Funny Sentence Randomly?
“I and my partner were on holiday in Tenerife a few months ago. We were in an all-inclusive resort and were standing in one of the shops in the lobby where you can buy extra snacks and stuff.
A very posh British man walked in with his 12ish-year-old son, and they were looking around the shop.
They went over to where the crisps were, and the boy seemed very interested in the Pringles. The father then asked him in a very cutesy, possibly over the top for his age voice, ‘Do you want some Pwingys, for the room?’ Yes, he called the Pringles ‘Pwingys’.
I and my partner found this quite funny.
The first few days were fine, we were both joking about it and kept repeating it to one another as it was a funny way to refer to Pringles, especially as the man was talking to his son like he was a baby.
This was at the start of our 2 weeks holiday. He did not stop saying ‘Do you want some Pwingys, for the room?’ for the whole 2 weeks we were on holiday.
He would literally say it at least once a minute. He would even torment me by starting a sentence completely unrelated to it, then finishing with ‘Do you want some Pwingys, for the room?’ as some sort of sick punchline.
It’s now been over 3 months since we returned and he will not stop saying ‘Do you want some Pwingys, for the room?’ It is driving me insane.
I have begged him to stop but he honestly thinks I am just playing along with his joke. I can’t have a serious conversation with him because he always manages to slip in ‘Do you want some Pwingys, for the room?’
This is a 5-year long relationship, and it was absolutely fine up until this point.
This is the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but now I don’t even want to see him because I’m afraid of when he will say ‘Do you want some Pwingys, for the room?’
I am now refusing to talk to him unless he stops. I’m honestly afraid that he will say he’s going to stop but then just carry on.
Am I blowing this out of proportion? AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Not Wanting To Tolerate My Friend's Affairs?
“My friend ‘Mary’ (30) has been having an on/off affair with a married man ‘Joe’ for 6 years. She’s never to my knowledge had any affair while in a relationship, but he’s been married and living with his wife the whole time – they’ve never separated or come close to divorce.
His wife doesn’t know.
Mary told me about the affair after a few months when they ‘broke up’ for the first time. She was distraught, and it seemed to definitely be over. She’s had a lot of problems in the past and I felt like Joe had taken advantage of her. I promised not to judge her and just be there for her instead.
Then a few months after that, she admitted she’d been sleeping with him again. I made it clear I didn’t approve, but at the end of the day, I’d be there as a shoulder to cry on. Of course, he called things off again. This went round and round for years – always with him ending it after a few weeks of secret meetings and her being a complete mess.
Every time I told her she needs to be the one to finish it, but I tried never to blame her or accuse her.
It seemed like the global crisis had finally put a stop to this, with him being at home with his wife the whole time and her moving on to different things.
Until the other day when she told me they’d ‘reconnected’ and met up at her place. I snapped and told her I couldn’t believe she was doing this again; doesn’t she care at all about Joe’s wife; it’s one thing doing this as a confused 24-year-old but by 30 you should know better; etc, etc. It’s stuff I’ve been feeling for a long time but never told her because of my promise not to judge her, and because she’s repeatedly told me over the years how much she appreciates that.
Then I told her if she was going to do this again, I didn’t want to hear anything about it, and I wasn’t going to be the shoulder to cry on because at this point she deserves to cry alone. She got really mad, burst into tears, and stormed out. Now I feel maybe I’m a jerk because I promised not to judge her and always be there for her, even if she’s in the wrong.”
22. AITJ For My Comment About My Stepmom's Cooking?
“My (16 F) stepmom is a horrible, horrible cooker, her food is always too salty or too insipid, neither my brother (18 M) nor I like to eat her food but our dad thinks is no biggie, aside from the time my brother said ‘No’ when she asked if he liked his meal, we’ve never commented badly on it, we’ve told her that we would rather cook our food but she brushed it off, so for a few years we’ve tried to eat at home as less as we can.
I don’t always eat her food and I’ve cooked for myself plenty of times, but she gets sentimental when we reject it she thinks that by cooking for us, she shows us how much she ‘appreciate us’ but nah. She also doesn’t see herself as a bad cook and thinks we’re exaggerating and this is us ‘acting out’ because dad married her.
Well now that my brother is leaving for college, I decided to become a pescatarian, my step-mom completely ruined meat for me and since she hates seafood taste (how ironic) I know she’ll never mess with it. I also decided to take over my own meals by telling my dad I have to follow a rigid diet and I would rather cook it myself, my stepmom HATED it but Dad was okay.
So that’s what I’ve been doing for 2 months. I also took a liking to baking so two days ago I baked a small fudge cake for my dad, I thought it would taste good, but I accidentally burned it and when dad and she came back I was slightly crying because I was excited for him to try it out.
He took a bite just to appease me and said it was good, he was lying of course, but I was happy. My stepmom took a bite too and pretended to puke it all up while saying that ‘I said her food was distasteful but what I did was disgusting’ and that if I want to eat disgusting food ‘I just have to keep cooking’, it stung, of course, mostly because it was something I made for my dad and she had no business trashing my food when I never did it with hers so I just said that if I truly wanted to eat disgusting food then I’d stay to dinner and see what she cooks.
She tried to come at me but Dad said she saw it coming and told her to leave me alone. Still, she called me a jerk so I don’t know?”
21. AITJ For Saying Not Everyone Needs To Be A Mother?
“I (40 F) do contract work, so I am moving every 3 months or so. I’m also happily single and have never wanted to have kids. I am very content with my life. I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want. It’s the bee’s knees.
Anyway, onto the story. The other day I was at work, for the record I work with a lot of women.
The topic of family and children came up and I was asked when I was going to have kids. I said never. One lady kept bugging me about it, saying I’d change my mind when I met the right person, having a baby will be so satisfying, I’d regret it, and my personal favorite, that I was being selfish by not having kids.
I’ve heard all this before, it’s nothing new, I usually just brush it off. I tried my usual brushing, but this one woman was being so persistent. And smug. Like she knew me better than I knew myself, and honestly, it just irritated me. I told her ‘I’m 40, I think I know best if I want kids or not.
And honestly, having a baby sounds like a literal nightmare. It’s not something I ever want, and having kids would absolutely ruin my life.’
After I said that she got really huffy, and told me she didn’t know how I could hate kids, that she has four, so I think her life is ruined?
I told her no, that I’m happy she has a satisfying life and that’s what works for her. But that lifestyle doesn’t work for me. Not everyone needs to be a mother.
She stopped talking to me, and the other people around said I was too harsh. Plus I heard through the grapevine she was filing a complaint with HR.
AITJ? I admit I could have handled the situation with a bit more tact, but she got under my skin. Plus honestly, I was tired of the conversation.”
20. AITJ For Calling My Mother-In-Law And Yelling At Her To Leave My Wife Alone?
“I and my wife are both females. We’re both 28F and we met in high school. We were both top of our class and her mother is super weird about her academic success so she hated me even though my wife still did better than me in school.
She’s also iffy about two girls in a relationship but I’m not sure if that’s the issue as to why she hates me so much. I think she still holds a grudge from our academic rivalry.
Anyway, ever since my wife turned 18 and moved out, my MIL has called her every second of the day.
It seems like every time she remembers she has a phone, she calls her daughter. We went to different universities but we video-called every day while separated and I still remember hearing her phone ring every hour or so. It got on my nerves, and I knew it got on hers too, but she’d accept maybe 2 of the calls every week and talk to her mother for five minutes before hanging up.
She always seemed frustrated so a week ago I asked her to put it on speakerphone so I could figure out why she was so mad.
When she picked up the phone, her mother started speaking very quickly in Mandarin (her family is Taiwanese) and she asked her to slow down. When she spoke again, she was speaking in English, and the entire ten-minute conversation was just her mother dropping hint after hint that she wanted her to divorce me even though we’d been married for four years.
Every conversation they had was like this. When the call was over I asked her to go into the other room with our cat and I’d talk with MIL.
I called her back and before she had the chance to speak, I was yelling at her, telling her to leave my wife alone and that she was too busy to deal with her nonsense.
She seemed stunned and hung up quickly. It only seemed to make things worse. Now she calls my wife less but is far more scathing and downright mean to her when she calls. My wife told me it was for the better and she said she appreciated it but I can tell that her deteriorating relationship with her mother has had an effect on her even if she won’t say it.
My friends agree it was the right thing to do but I can’t shake the feeling that I should’ve done nothing and I feel like a jerk for shattering the brittle relationship that my wife and MIL had. I actually texted my mother while writing this and she agreed that I probably shouldn’t have stepped in without my wife’s permission.
AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Letting My Daughter Bring Her Egg To My Sister's Wedding?
“I (F 29) have an older sister (F 32), I’ll call her ‘Mary,’ and I have a husband (M 30) and we have a daughter together (F 3) who is my entire world and I love her to bits.
Lately, my daughter has been really fascinated with eggs. She brings them everywhere and carries them in her bag. I always make sure to boil the eggs before I give them to her though, to prevent a mess if she drops them and so we can eat them after. She usually plays with them for an hour, then we heat it and eat it.
I’m not too worried about germs because she is very careful with them and doesn’t drop them, and I make sure she washes her hands. So there is no waste.
I know how fascinated my daughter is with eggs, so I made sure to call in advance to ask Mary to bring the egg. She said she was fine with it, after some persuasion.
Because I know it’s her day, and I wanted to make sure she was comfortable and not shocked when she sees my baby girl running around with an egg.
During her reception, everything was going perfectly. My daughter was playing with her egg and pretending it was her little baby, and Mary looked perfectly happy until my daughter slipped while holding the egg.
Luckily, the egg was boiled so there was no yolk or massive mess, however, there was a crack in the egg and my daughter began crying. I knew how special Mary’s wedding is for her, so I and my husband tried taking her away into a secluded space to calm her down. However, she just wasn’t moving.
She was having a full-blown tantrum. I was horrified. She was kicking, screaming, crying. I had to pick her up and drag her away from Mary. The situation was solved an hour later when we hugged it out and got her ice cream.
After this, I went back to the party, and my husband stayed near the car to look after our daughter to prevent any further incidents.
However, Mary confronted me and told me that my daughter stole her moment, and now every time she’ll think of our wedding she would remember my bratty daughter and my awful parenting. I feel really bad, but my husband says it’s not our fault. However, everyone else in our family is telling us to apologize to Mary.
Am I the jerk for not controlling my daughter better and for ruining my sister’s moment?”
18. AITJ For Renting My Late Parents' House To My Ex?
“My (25 m) parents passed away 3 years ago. In their will, everything was divided between me and my sister Jess (30 f). I got the house they lived in and she inherited our vacation home.
We were both cool with that.
I don’t actually live in their house, still in my own apartment closer to my work so for a while, I was thinking about renting it out just so someone is occupying the house. And it’s not for money either the rent plus utilities included in the rent would be super cheap for a large 4-bedroom house with lots of backyard space and all that.
Just so it’s not empty.
The history I have with my ex is something I’m not proud of. When we were 18 she called me scared because she found out she was pregnant. It freaked me out knowing my parents were gonna be so disappointed in me and I was scared of them finding out.
I told her we should terminate the pregnancy because I’m not ready to be a dad. Just tried everything to convince her we shouldn’t have a baby. She said she would get one but we can’t be together anymore since she feels she can’t look at me the same after that.
I regret that more than anything in my life now because I found out 7 months ago we have a 6-year-old daughter.
And she’s perfect. Yes, every parent says that about their kid but she really is and I have felt so guilty for trying to get her to abort this sweet little girl and making my ex be a single mom on her own.
I promised her I’d take care of them and my daughter will have her dad in her life forever.
They were living in a small apartment with 4 other people. I convinced my ex to move into my parents’ house, it would’ve been free for them but she wouldn’t accept that so she and my daughter are living there, she’s still paying the $700 I was gonna go for.
My daughter gets to finally have her own bed/room whenever she’s at her mom’s and for me, it felt like a nice bonus having my kid grow up in the same house I did.
My sister has a problem with this. For not asking her permission over who’s moving into her childhood home.
I told her the house is mine so her permission wasn’t needed. She told me it doesn’t matter if legally it’s mine I still should’ve done the courtesy of asking her for permission because it’s still her house, in the sense that she grew up there. I know the reality is she doesn’t like my ex because my parents didn’t like her.
It’s not anything she did. She was/is a good person. They simply didn’t like me with someone who lived in the projects because it made them assume she was probably involved in bad stuff. I don’t know, it was a whole bunch of stupid crap but my sister is still upset because they would’ve been against her living there and now I’m ‘causing her distress’ for not being decent enough to ask her if it was okay.
My sister told me just because I’m trying to make up for failing as a father doesn’t mean her feelings should be pushed aside. We haven’t talked since because she’s still hurt with me. AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Threatening To Report My Brother To His Probation Officer?
“My parents are overbearing. To them being overly involved in their kid’s lives is the default. We are South Asian so it’s normal in our culture. There is a reason I don’t live in Alberta with the rest of my family. I don’t have a bad relationship with them. I just prefer some space so they can’t meddle as much.
I have an older brother, a younger brother, and a younger sister. I’m in contact with all of them but I’m closest with my younger brother because we are only a year apart. Even now we te each other things we don’t tell anyone else. I thought at least. This is what my story is about.
I have a significant other and we have talked about marriage. My SO adamantly does not want kids. Honestly, I am good either way so it’s not a deal-breaker for me. My SO did not have the best home life as a kid. One of her parents went to jail. The other parent married someone with several sons who were younger than my SO.
My SO’s other parent had a (diagnosed by actual doctors) personality disorder. Her stepparent liked to drink. Growing up my girl was responsible for all the chores and doing most of the parenting of her stepbrothers. I told my younger brother all of this. My SO said I could. She has met my whole family by phone, email, and video call but she has met my brother the most. She knows we are close.
I know things about my brother too. Like how he left Alberta for a trip with his friends which was a violation of his probation. Or things he did he didn’t get arrested for. There are a million other things.
After I told my brother I’d been thinking about marriage a lot lately my parents called me.
They forbade me from doing it because she doesn’t want kids and her background (one parent in and out of jail and one in and out of mental institutions). I’ve never told them anything about it and they told me my brother tells them everything I don’t tell them. They told me several other things I confided in my brother to.
They have forbidden me from marrying my SO and ordered me to break up with her and find a woman who wants kids with a better background. It’s weird they think they have any power to forbid me. Also, my older brother has 5 kids and my sister has 2 so they gave grandchildren already and will have more in the future because my older brother and my sister want more and my younger brother also wants kids one day.
I feel so betrayed. I’ve never broken his confidence. I told him to never contact me again. I’m not asking about that. What I would like to know is if saying that if he did I would tell his probation officer the things he’s done to break his probation or the other crimes he’s committed (I could prove it).
Not only does he think this was unfair but he told our parents, brother, and sister about it and they lost it on me and said I was really unfair and wrong to threaten to do that. My younger brother says my parents had a right to know but he didn’t tell me that because I would disagree.”
16. AITJ For Not Believing My Ex's Mental Illness?
“Two weeks ago I broke up with my significant other (we are both twentysomethings) for reasons that aren’t relevant to this story, but things had been going downhill for a while and we ended it as gently as possible.
We didn’t live together, but have been together for around two years so we just went our separate ways.
Being lesbians in a small town, though, the Venn diagram of our shared friends is a circle so we see each other all the time. We’ve seen each other on a few occasions since the breakup (mostly over Zoom because we’re in a few D&D campaigns together and, y’know, the global crisis) and things were different and kinda awkward but not uncomfortable.
But then something really weird happened. Last weekend a few of us went out to dinner for one of our mutual friends’ birthday. It was me, my ex (E), the birthday girl (R), and another friend who is closer to them than to me (K). I arrived after everyone else because of work and when I got to the table everyone was quiet.
I asked if everyone was okay, and they all looked at E, who made a kinda ‘go on’ gesture that was weird. She was also dressed really butch, which was also SUPER not like her given she’d spent the last few years that I’d known her in sun dresses and skirts. But whatever. I cut my hair after we broke up so maybe this was just part of her process.
I asked again what was wrong and K introduced me to E with a different, masculine name. Seeing this fall into place I asked if she was trans (which would make sense given how she pulled away from me before we broke up). E laughed and told me no, she isn’t trans – she has dissociative identity disorder and I’m speaking to her ‘protector’.
I thought she was joking so I laughed, which made me a jerk to everyone else who then told me it was serious and I needed to be supportive.
I tried to ask follow-up questions, like how long have you had this illness (since childhood, according to her), why did she never tell me (she didn’t want to freak me out), and how did she keep this a secret for two years of our relationship plus the year before when we were just friends (apparently she can control when she changes personalities so I never saw?) Every answer she gave me made me feel like she thought I was an idiot, and our other friends didn’t say much.
I ended up just getting through dinner and skipping the movie we had planned to see afterward.
Since then I’ve tried to talk about this with other friends, who are either equally as confused/skeptical as me or are in full support of E. Honestly I planned to just avoid her after this because that was awkward as all get out but I found out recently she’s been telling everyone on Snapchat that I don’t believe her (true) and that I somehow caused/contributed to her mental illness?
I’ve made a few statements to friends that I had no idea but everyone is painting me as a jerk because I’m skeptical of this.
So tell me – am I the jerk for being skeptical?
Edit to add: I forgot to mention that some of the conversations I’ve had with our mutual friends about this have been screen-capped and shown to E, which is causing a rift between the people who fully believe her and those of us who don’t or are skeptical.”
15. AITJ For Not Wanting To Reconcile With My Father?
“I (45 f) cut contact with my stepmother and my dad. She is a narcissist and he is an enabler. They’ve been married since I was about 13.
I have always been the black sheep. I could go on and on about the things she has put me through and has said to me. For example, she once told me she thought I was a FAS (fetal alcohol syndrome) baby. I have cut contact in the past, but have always forgiven and tried to move on.
Anyway, the breaking point was a post she made on my daughter’s social media page. I won’t go into detail, but suffice it to say I could see that she was going to start the mistreatment with my kids. I blew up, texting her that she had crossed the line and none of us wanted anything to do with her again.
My dad sent me an email outlining all the money they spent on me while I was growing up and other support they had given me. That I was out of line and needed to show them respect. I didn’t respond. I blocked her, but just erased my dad’s phone number from my phone.
Now a few months have passed and I get a text from my dad like nothing happened. He said he wanted to meet up to discuss their wills.
I responded that I was not interested. If he was planning on leaving me anything, just put it toward all the money they had spent on me and if I still owed, to let me know. I blocked him after that.
A few days ago he sent me an email with the title ‘Reconciliation’. I deleted it without reading it and marked his email as spam.
So, am I the jerk? Should I let them back into my life? It isn’t possible to just have a relationship with him without her.”
14. AITJ For Not Liking My Son's Fiancée's Attitude?
“My son ‘Blake’ got engaged to his then-partner ‘Eve’ right after she got pregnant. She and I, I’d like to say… don’t have the best relationship but, I do try to get on the same page as her but what I’ve noticed recently is that she just doesn’t like me.
Example#, I offered her and Blake to go see a house I found in the area we live in while they were looking, Blake agreed and was happy with the idea but Eve… wasn’t.
Example#2, When she got pregnant she returned the nursery and framed photos I brought, and kept me out of the name suggestions.
Example#3 Which took place last night… Blake and Eve were stopping by for dinner, I asked if it was okay that I throw her a baby shower party and she declined saying her mom was already on it. I was upset not gonna lie, and what she said was sort of the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I waited til she went to the bathroom and out loud told Blake and the family that Eve was being rude and unaccepting of me for no good reason. Blake asked that I calm down and apologized to me but I told him that it was quite clear his fiancee has an attitude and it doesn’t work for me.
She must’ve heard because she came back looking red in the face and told Blake she wanted to go home immediately.
Blake took her to the car then, got back and started arguing with me at the door saying Eve just heard what I said and that I messed up royally. I told him to take it easy, I was just stating how I felt about the way she’s been treating me and he said that if Eve has an attitude then, I should say the same about myself for my passive-aggressive behavior and overbearing slights every time she’s around.
I was in dismay, the family got involved and told Blake that he shouldn’t speak to me like that and that Eve could stop expecting us to walk on eggshells around her. I left them fighting and took a seat. He eventually left but called this morning saying this was clearly a misunderstanding, and that he wants to bring Eve over so we could talk.
I told him she could come after he apologizes for the scene last night. He wasn’t happy and claimed that I started this whole drama with my remarks. He went on to lecture me about how I should treat Eve and said that he won’t let this keep going when the baby is here. I took it as an offense and my husband agreed that Blake is being an enabler here.
Neither of them called yet after that. My older son wants to speak to Blake one on one about it.”
13. AITJ For Wanting To Make Sure My Brother-In-Law Is Ready To Adopt?
“My brother-in-law was adopted, he came from what we call a ‘broken home’ and it affected his personality. He always wanted and planned to have kids with his ex-wife, but she turned out abusive and he was barely able to escape from her with my and my husband’s help.
He was devastated and kept saying his future and family ended before it started but we assured him he was lucky he didn’t have kids with his ex and got out easily.
He’s now 35, single, lives alone and has been talking about adoption a lot lately.
Yesterday. he visited and brought it up again, I didn’t feel he was ready despite saying that he was.
I told him he’s a product of an affair that ruined 2 families – and that he had a rough, unstable childhood that created some serious damages manifesting in a number of mental health issues that he hasn’t worked on and so, I don’t think adoption is a good idea, especially, given his feelings around that and he should really reconsider his decision.
he looked at me shocked, but I told him not to take this personally because I was just pointing out that it’s not fair to subject an innocent child to his mental health issues, in other words, I just don’t think he’s ready to be anybody’s dad.
He became quiet all of a sudden, then took his phone and key and said that I was rude and hurtful then left and shut the door behind him.
My husband asked what happened and why his brother left, I told him about the conversation I had with him and he went off on me saying I messed up, that this was none of my concern and I just made his brother feel worthless and incapable. I said no I was just making sure he is ready but he said I don’t get to decide if he’s ready or not and told me I had to call his brother and apologize to him for the rude things I said but I declined because I don’t think I was wrong for telling the truth as it is.
We had an argument and he isn’t speaking to me now.
I understand how my brother-in-law might’ve felt but I was just giving my opinion on this matter and a bit of advice.”
12. AITJ For Not Telling My Daughter She's Autistic?
“So pretty much, most of her life, our daughter (14 F) had various issues. She had a speech delay, didn’t make eye contact, was extremely hyperactive, had trouble making friends, fidgeted a lot, was extremely strict with rules, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
My wife and I suspected that she may be autistic and we took her to a psychologist when she was 4. The psychologist diagnosed her with hyperactivity disorder (although, we don’t know if it coexists with her autism or if it was a misdiagnosis).
From 8-11, we gave our daughter as much early intervention as possible.
She’d seen behavioral and speech (she was able to speak, but had a speech impediment) therapists. I’ve given her various books about how to make and keep friends (at that point, she was a bookworm). We got her placed in a social class to help her build social skills. It wasn’t until the end of her 4th-grade year that she actually got diagnosed with autism.
Her psychologist was excited to tell her, but my wife was against it. She wanted to wait until we felt our daughter was old enough to understand. We are aware of the stigma neurodivergent people experience and she didn’t want our daughter to go through that. I agreed to hide it from her until she reached adulthood.
This next part is relevant. When our daughter got into grade 6, she was bullied due to her autistic traits. She was gaslit, taken advantage of, and had many false friends who backstabbed her. It made our daughter insecure about her poor social skills and that was when she started to mask. It left her with such immense trauma that she still has triggers and is in therapy.
Today, she came to us and asked ‘What is autism?’ We told her it is a different way of thinking. She was confused since she didn’t know we meant it in the sense that ‘autistic people have a different brain chemistry from neurotypicals’. After we elaborated, she told us the reason why she asked: she found out that she is autistic.
She apparently found some of her old medical records lying around and read them out of curiosity. She was upset and asked us how could we hide this from her. We explained that we wanted to tell her when she was older since we didn’t want her to get hurt by other people. She angrily yelled that she did get hurt anyways.
She said that ‘All this time, (she) thought that there was something wrong with (her), but if it weren’t for (us), (she) wouldn’t have taken the bullying to heart, and (she) would’ve felt differently, but instead, (we) made (her) pain worse’.
Now she’s in her room crying and refuses to speak to either of us.
We are starting to wonder if we should’ve told her about autism when we knew.”
11. AITJ For Not Telling My Mother I Am Giving Birth?
“When you reach about 37 weeks in my state, they start cervix checks as long as you consent to it and in my case I did.
These are appointments I preferred to go to alone because I feel awkward even if my husband was in the room and don’t want him to go. As I was telling my mother about my appointment and how hubby wasn’t going to be going, she wanted to go.
I explained that if I don’t want my husband to go, I definitely don’t want family going even if you are allowed to bring one visitor.
I didn’t make it to my 37-week appointment as I developed Cholestasis of pregnancy which is a liver problem on my end. I went for four days with all the symptoms before going to the hospital. Within a few hours, they decided the best case of action was to induce as I was only two days from being considered full term.
Hubby came rushing with everything for our stay and told his parents as he works with them as a small company. I didn’t feel comfortable telling my mom as you could have two support people with you.
Background: My mother has tried to talk me into being her to OB appointments but due to the global crisis, my husband wasn’t even allowed in for our first and was kicked out of the hospital right after delivery.
In another instance, my first daughter quit breathing in the night and I let my mother know but told her it was taken care of. While hubby was grabbing things from the car, she bolted in and he couldn’t come in due to already having two adults inside for her at the hospital.
I didn’t want the stress as I was already high risk so I didn’t say anything until hours after birth.
My mother berated me saying she felt like a laughingstock as she was last to know and how I love the in-laws more than her cause they’re first in everything according to her. She yelled about she’ll never be able to face the other side of the family and it was not fair to her.
She even said she could’ve been there cause she saw the two-support people policy when dropping things off.
Having my newborn go off to NICU, my emotions were building quickly. I told her this is exactly why I didn’t tell her and that she was making my daughter’s birth and my trauma about her.
She constantly stresses me out and didn’t respect anything. Would always want to go to appointments, constantly touch my stomach saying she was never going to be pregnant again, and I know she would’ve come into the delivery room if she could. The only reason hubby’s parents knew is because they OWN a business together and it needs everyone to run smoothly.
I’m wondering if I’m truly the jerk here because I don’t think I am.”
10. AITJ For Calling My Friend's Significant Other A Disrespectful Jerk?
“I (24 F) am a person whose sense of humor is very blunt/sarcastic with my close friends. Definitely not with anyone else, though people who don’t know the dynamic of our friend group could perceive it as being rude and not just sarcastic.
Recently a new significant other (L, 20?) of one of the guys (D, 25) started hanging out with the group and she is a ‘brutally honest tell it like it is’ person who thinks it’s cool to talk to people she doesn’t know that way because we do it with each other. I disliked her immediately because she seemed incredibly fake but I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt because though she’s an adult, she is younger than us (about 4 years) and I assumed she was trying to act big because of insecurity.
It got really inappropriate really fast.
By the fourth time, I’d met her, only 6 weeks since we met and 4 weeks since she was going out with D, she was acting clingy to me like we are best friends but at the same time making things up about me and talking behind my back to all MY friends.
(Funny how the ‘brutally honest’ people are always the ones lying).
The confrontation was outside when she was smoking with D and my husband, I walked up to say hi and chat. Unprovoked, she started roasting me for coming late to the party, and I said something along the lines of ‘That’s what happens when you have work, a kid, and things to do.’ And she made some smart rude comment about how I don’t prioritize well and she was getting on my last nerves so I straight up said to her,
‘You’re a rich kid who’s never had a job or any responsibilities so I guess you wouldn’t understand.’ And she had the audacity to say to me, ‘At least I’m not a teen mom like you.’ —EXCUSE ME?! I am not a teen mom, I was 23 and engaged when my PLANNED one-year-old child was born and I wasn’t married yet because my wedding was scheduled for March 2020 —but that’s beside the point because even if I was a teen mom who says that like it’s an insult?
She then doubled and tripled down saying ‘Well were you married before or after your baby was born?’ ‘And is your marriage even really valid?’ Because I was married by a friend, not in a church or city hall.
I had enough and told her she was a disrespectful jerk and to stop pretending she was an adult and watch who she was talking to like that.
She was shocked, but I wasn’t that phased as what I said felt justified. I continued socializing till my smoking was done. She then ran off and cried in a bedroom for the rest of the 4+ hours that the party was going on while her SO apologized on her behalf and talked it out with me.
No one felt bad for her, everyone laughed at her audacity and the party continued.
The conflict ceased but I’ll be seeing her at the end of the month and she’s said I’m a jerk for calling her a jerk and not caring that she cried. So for the sake of my peace if she tries to start something with me again AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Not Letting My Roommate Use The New Lawnmower?
“Last year my (21 f) roommate, A (22 f), got a second-hand lawn mower from Marketplace for $20. I wasn’t there to give it a look over but I would have said no if I was. Firstly, one of the wheels is stuck and does not move at all.
Secondly, the thing is old, you have to fight it to get it on and stay on. And lastly, it eats fuel (2-stroke that are seen some years). It’s incredibly frustrating to work with, our yard isn’t big, but it turns a 20 min job to easily an hour plus.
Now we have lived here for about 4 months, and the 3 of us, myself, A, and our other roommate, B (20 F), have all taken turns mowing the lawn every 2 weeks.
I dread it, B and I try and do a good job but we can tell A does not put in nearly as much effort. We had a sit-down and talked about it, and tried to be understanding because we know how evil the thing can be, A said they would try harder. That was at month 3, at the end of month 4 A had not stepped up her game.
We talked and B and I were both keen to just go to Bunnings and get a cheap mower ($120, so $40 each) because we were frustrated with the mower. A stuck to her guns and refused to get another one saying the one we had got the job done. We tried to convince her and even spent a week looking on Marketplace.
Eventually, B and I told A that we will be going to get the mower, she could pitch in and use it, or B and I would get it ourselves and she would have to use the old one. She told us to get bent so we went, got the mower, and had a blast doing the lawn our next turns.
Came around to A’s turn to mow the lawn, we both knew what was gonna happen so we went to the garage and what do you know, she was about to use the new mower! Now B and I were sympathetic, we told her she could pay us both $20 and we would let her use the mower.
She again told us to get bent, fought with the old mower (she put in the petrol we had in our new jerry can, and I was a bit of a jerk because I didn’t try and tell her to mix it because if it broke she would have to use the new one).
She spent like 20 min poorly mowing, barely did anything, and then stormed off.
B and I were mad because this was a chore she signed up for and she was just blatantly not doing it. We called her and she said she needed some time to get away from us because we were being toxic. B and I called my mum who said that we weren’t being too harsh because we know she is both fiscally and physically able to pay for and use the new mower.
We texted her, explained how we wanted the lawn mowed as that was part of our agreement, and said we were still very willing for her to pay us $20 each to use the new mower.
She left us on read and has been giving us the cold shoulder for about a week now. Ended up mowing the lawn ourselves as we were having company, but told her that this would not happen again and she would have to mow it next time (in 2 weeks) and she went ballistic.
Now I’m wondering if we are being jerks because we went ahead and got the new mower but don’t let her use it.”
8. AITJ For Not Caring About My Late Father's Will?
“My (35 M) father (was 68) died recently and his will he made last year gives his now widow, let’s call Jean (27 F), everything (estate worth around 2 million total). My mom died 5 years ago. My sister ‘Emily’ (32 F) was horrified when he started going out with a woman younger than her and even more so when they got married about 2 years ago.
She always made it known she didn’t approve and would call Jean mean names and some racial stuff. When my dad passed, he and Emily were pretty much estranged due to this and hadn’t spoken in over a year. I’m not going to lie, I thought she was a golddigger too but I could also tell she made my dad happy.
So I didn’t care if that’s how he wanted to spend his late 60s more power to him.
When we found out the will gave everything to Jean Emily freaked out. She has hired an attorney to try to contest it and everything. Her attorney contacted me and said if I support Emily in contesting it, the odds of a favorable outcome are pretty high for us.
I just don’t really care to. The way I see it we’re all adults and I don’t feel entitled to anything my dad earned and I think he should get to leave it to whoever he wants to. I also believe he was in a ‘sound mind’ when he made the decision, despite what Emily is trying to claim.
Emily is telling me that I’m taking the side of a golddigger instead of family and saying things about how the money would help her standard of living and establish a college fund for her kids. I acknowledge it’d be nice but again, just feel like it’s not my money and Jean should be entitled to it if that’s what my dad wanted. She and her attorney keep blowing up my phone though.
When I told my friends about the situation last night at a party they were of mixed opinions about it all.
We didn’t get money when my mother passed because my parents were never divorced. Our state allows you to leave everything to your spouse if one person dies before the other. My wife and I have this type of estate plan for us and it is my belief that my parents had the same thing if one of them passed away before the other.
We were not entitled to anything, it all went to my father as the surviving spouse.”
7. AITJ For Telling My Wife To Stop Wearing High Heels Every Time We Go Out?
“Every time my wife (32 F) and I (27 M) go anywhere together, whether it be out to a restaurant, my parent’s house, shopping, etc., we always end up having a fight before we leave, because she’ll always try to leave with her 4-inch heels on.
I tell her she shouldn’t be wearing those for where we’re going, and she gets mad and tells me how much she spent on the shoes, I tell her I’m not leaving until she puts on something practical, she finally does, and she pouts for 15 minutes in the car.
Here’s the thing. I have no problems with her wearing heels as a concept.
I don’t care that she’s already taller than me by 4 inches and they add on another 4 inches. I don’t care that they’re basically Gothic dominatrix heels. None of that matters to me.
The problem is that she is an absolute ‘klutz’.
She wore those heels out to a restaurant on my birthday a few years ago, and one of the heel spikes (which aren’t thin) slipped into a hole in a grate on the street.
She landed flat on her butt and it took a while to get the shoe unstuck out of that grate. She ruined her favorite dress in the process and got a bruised tailbone.
Last year, she wore them to my parent’s house, where it was raining. She slipped as soon as she got out of the car on the wet road, fell, and sprained her ankle.
That was a rather expensive trip to the ER.
4 months ago, she wore just two-inch heels to a job interview. You can probably guess what happened, but she lost her balance in the office where she was being interviewed and whacked her head on a chair, breaking her glasses as a result. Had to get evaluated for a concussion and get a new pair of glasses out of pocket.
No, she did not get the job.
So every time we have this argument, I keep reminding her about all the times that she’s hurt herself while wearing heels, and how its a really bad idea to wear them, especially since we live in an area that constantly rains and we go places that require a fair bit of walking in that rain.
She says she’s willing to accept the risks, but I really don’t want our experiences ruined because she hurt herself again.
I keep telling her to look for practical shoes in a style that she likes, but she complains about how she ‘can’t find any’ because she has size 12 feet (which okay, I get it, but online shoe stores are a thing, you know?).
I’m kind of at my last straw because we argued about it again last night. We were going to go out for dinner and it was rather rainy. Once again I refused to go out unless she wore practical shoes for safety reasons. She called me a controlling jerk and we didn’t end up going out at all.
So, am I a controlling jerk? I kinda feel like I am, but I really don’t want to keep pitching in for ER bills because she keeps wrecking herself because of her freaking shoes.
Edit: one very important thing I forgot to mention is that she has Meniere’s disease, where you get random bouts of vertigo.
She has stumbled and fallen while wearing sneakers before from having vertigo episodes, so it’s very high risk for her to be wearing heels at all.”
6. AITJ For Feeling Left Out Of Everything My In-Laws Do?
“I (30 f) have told my partner (34 m) that I don’t want to go up to his parents for ‘family dinners’ or whatever anymore because every single time we do, I get dumped with all the children.
I don’t drink or smoke while every other adult there does, so as soon as we walk in the door, all adults, my partner included, just dumps me with all the kids and leave to go drink or smoke and don’t come back until hours later, sometimes right up until I tell my partner, my kids and I are leaving you either coming or staying!
I go so as not to be rude! This time it’s different because it’s the holidays and we have family visiting but I’ve even been dumped with all the visiting children too, so I’m so over it! 3rd day in a row and we stay there until well late, 10 pm sometimes.
I asked my partner if he could take me home and he got trashy, saying I was ruining everything and everybody could sense my negative vibes, I asked him how since not a single adult has stepped foot inside, to even check on their kids, since we got there this morning at 9 am (it’s now 3 pm)?
Yesterday my partner, his 3 brothers, and their significant others all just disappeared and came home 5 hours later and had been out on a lunch and shopping spree while I stayed home with all the children. Today they all went off to the arcade for a couple of hours, without me even knowing, and left me there with all the children, again.
When I bought this up to my partner he got angry at me saying ‘Why don’t you like sharing me with my siblings? I only get to see my brother once maybe twice a year, why do you have to make this all about yourself?’ I said that’s not even it, the fact of the matter is that I love all the kids, but I’m not just a babysitter, why am I always just dumped with the kids?
If all the other girls can go, why can’t I be invited sometimes? Why should I always be left out of everything and just expected to be ok with it?
I’m now home, alone (even though he tried to make me bring our kids home with me, I just think he needs to start being a parent too, just cause they’re his family gatherings doesn’t mean his father’s responsibilities stop, cleaning my house, cause it keeps me calm but wondering if he was right, and I actually am the jerk for it?”
5. AITJ For Getting In Between My Friend And The Woman Who Was Stalking Him?
“My friend, let’s say, Conner (M 2), my other two friends, Melissa and Becky, and I (F 25) were all walking through Caesar’s casino Saturday night. We were staying in Las Vegas with 8 other friends but they were all doing something else at the time.
So as we were walking, a group of 3 women suddenly caught up to us walking and just started giggling, and they were all looking and pointing at Conner. Now Conner is probably one of the best-looking guy friends I have, he’s tall, tan, and in pretty decent shape so I’m not really surprised that women would find him attractive, especially in Vegas.
Conner then noticed the women but just brushed it off. However, they continued to follow us through the casino with the giggles and all and then Conner gave me an eye and came to me and then whispered: ‘Why are those girls following us? I’m not interested in any of them they are all really unattractive and not my type whatsoever’.
I just said that we should just pick up the pace and outrun these girls. So we continued our walk but got cornered in an area that was super packed.
We had to stop walking and then one of the girls from the group walked over to Conner and started asking him annoying questions. She then finally asked for his number and called him hot.
Conner politely declined and said he wasn’t interested. The woman looked dumbfounded and asked why, but Conner just continually tried to turn the convo that he didn’t want to have.
Eventually, Melissa told us to keep walking and we did, but the group of women continued to follow us for another 5 minutes. The one woman who asked Conner was trailing right behind him just trying to talk to him.
I could tell Conner was uncomfortable. The woman kept asking him ‘Well is it because I’m ugly?’ ‘Unattractive?’ ‘Just say the reason I need to know!’ She was just pestering him at this point so I needed to help. I got in between them and told her ‘Yes it’s because you are unattractive’.
Now please leave him alone.
The woman looked at me angrily, then looked at Conner with disapproval. She then went back to her group and was angrily telling them what happened, which finally stopped them from stalking us. We finally made it to dinner and as we sat down Melissa and Becky told me that I could have been nicer to that girl and that I was a jerk for saying that stuff.
But I thought that Conner was literally being harassed so I had to tell them the truth. AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Sending The Real Conversation To The Group Chat To Defend My Sister's Maid Of Honor?
“I (25 F) am a bridesmaid in my sister’s, who we’ll call Joanne (28 F), wedding.
She’s engaged to an amazing guy, who we’ll call Tom (30 M).
I don’t like my sister much, she’s really rude at times and refuses to acknowledge it, so I’ve been in low contact since I was 22. I’m only in her wedding because she and my mother begged me to do it.
My sister has a wedding group chat, which involves our family, most of our extended, her friends, everyone in the wedding party, and everyone in Tom’s family. She posts private conversations abt the wedding there between her and bridesmaids or other people for some reason, she says it’s for evidence of something. I don’t know.
She’s also quite the bridezilla. Most of the bridesmaids look the same as per my sister’s image, brown hair, blue eyes (ones who were naturally another color were required to get lenses, which in my opinion is a little weird.) among other things. It’s not a big deal, but her best friend and maid of honor who we’ll call Kate (29 F) stands out because, unlike the rest of us, she’s a bit on the heavier side.
Not overweight, but noticeably bigger than all of us.
Kate is really sweet, I’ve known her since elementary and we’re pretty close. This is why I was suspicious when I saw that Joanne uploaded a text thread where Kate was calling her a jerk. The conversation was about how Kate’s dress that Joanne bought wasn’t fitting her, then black text from Joanne, then Kate calling her a jerk and shaming her.
The text was quite big, and I was curious. I saw something about how to see text covered in black on TikTok so I went back to it and did what it said to see what Joanne could’ve said to warrant that reaction from Kate.
Well, as to my suspicions, Kate wasn’t being a jerk for no reason.
Joanne decided to go on a rant berating Kate because she couldn’t fit into the dress. The most notable line is ‘Maybe if you weren’t so fat you’d fit in the dress! Go to the gym for once in your life.’ amongst saying she’s not buying another dress and horrible names.
I took a screenshot and when I went back to the GC, everyone was like ‘Wow, how could Kate say that?!’ So, to show everyone what really happened I sent the screenshot. Well, the next thing I know everyone is siding with Kate, and Joanne is blowing up my phone calling me all sorts of names in the GC.
Mom was mad, and Dad is yet to give an opinion. A few people called me a jerk for doing this, but this was all her close friends so I wanted an unbiased opinion. So, AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Telling My Husband To Stop Touching My Belly?
“I (F 26) am 5 months pregnant with a baby boy. This is my first one with my husband (M 31) and we’re both excited to expand our family.
Once my belly started showing my husband started putting his hands on it constantly. The problem is that I have an anxiety disorder and don’t like to be touched especially when it’s sudden.
He knows this but he puts his hand on my belly randomly and refuses to remove it when asked. He does it all the time, sometimes when I’m asleep and also when we’re with family he’d put his hand on my belly and sometimes even lifts my top. Every time I tell him to stop it because it’s uncomfortable, he tells me this is his son too and he needs his bonding time.
Last night was my final straw, we were out on the front porch with my friends and he pulled me from behind and wrapped both arms around my belly. My friends were weirded out I quietly whispered to him to let go but he said ‘Don’t mind us (meaning him and his baby) we’re just here bonding’.
I had had it I lashed out and moved away from him while telling him to stop it. He looked at me confused then turned around and walked back inside the house.
He avoided talking to anyone for the rest of the gathering then blew up on me when it was just us and said I shouldn’t have yelled at him for what he did as he thought it was completely normal. I told him I already expressed how uncomfortable I was, he said he was my husband and that he was meaning to bond with his son and not me and then told me to get over myself and stop acting like a sensitive little girl.
I got mad and told him he is no longer allowed to do it and he got angry and said that’s not my call and I can’t act selfish and prevent him from bonding with his son.
He then went to vent to his mom and when I pointed out how wrong it was to do that, he told me I have no issue going to stay with my mom every time we fight so what’s good for the goose is good for the Gartner.
I was speechless and had no response. He said I owe him an apology for lashing out at him in front of my friends like that.”
2. WIBTJ If I Ask My Dad To Give Me A Haircut?
“My husband (35 M) and I (34 F) have talked several times about me cutting about 6 to 8 inches off of my very long hair. He agreed I can cut it, but every time I try to schedule it so that he can be home with the kids, something always comes up. (Because of the global crisis and most people we know not getting immunization shots, we are uncomfortable with babysitters, and I am a stay-at-home mom.)
This has been going on since before Thanksgiving, and he just had to leave, with very short notice, for a month for school for his job. Before he left, I again tried to schedule getting my hair cut, and he just couldn’t work it into his schedule.
When I asked him how it can be so hard to have one day where he can get out of work on time, he finally admitted he doesn’t want me to cut my hair.
He likes it long and doesn’t understand why I want to cut it. For the record, it would still be long, almost to my waist, even with 6 to 8 inches off of the bottom. I explained that my hair is dead at the ends and needs to be trimmed. I haven’t had a haircut in at least 3 years.
I explained it would still be long, but it seems there is no compromise.
Now my husband has had to leave for this school last minute, and my dad was already scheduled to visit us before the school. My dad is still coming, because he hasn’t seen our kids much over the last two years.
The last time we were supposed to see him, he fell ill and our visit had to be postponed.
My dad (64 M) always cut my hair when we were growing up. It’s a simple, straight-across trim. I am considering asking my dad to just go ahead and cut my hair while he is here. I ran it by my husband yesterday and he said to do whatever I want, but he likes it long.
He’s going to be back in a month from school, and I could wait to keep playing this scheduling game, or I could just let my dad cut my hair while he is here. (That eliminates needing a babysitter or needing my husband to get home early enough from work.)
For clarification: I am not asking him to take off of work for me to get my hair cut, I’m just asking him to leave on time and be home at a predictable time while a salon is still open to get a scheduled haircut.
WIBTJ?”
1. AITJ For Using My Daughter's Child Support For My Other Kid?
“My daughter’s father and I divorced shortly after she was born because he refused to keep any of his promises and the relationship had just caused both of us too much pain. He decided he didn’t want to be a father, so he signed his custody rights away and only pays child support. I reconnected with an ex of mine soon after.
We’re now married, and we’re raising both my child and our baby together.
My ex pays child support. With how we budget for our household, this money falls outside of household needs and is closer to ‘extra’ money. We’ve decided that instead of trying to work this into the budget, we’re just going to put it entirely into college funds for the kids, 50/50.
My ex has heard about this and is furious that I’m ‘using his money for a kid that’s not even his’ and ‘stealing’ from our daughter. I’m not.
My husband and I are equally contributing to two children who live in the same household full-time. If we’re splitting our money for the children’s needs and the needs of the household equally, then ‘extra’ money should be split equally across the household as well, should it not?
After all, it’s perfectly acceptable and expected for child support to go to paying utilities and mortgages when other people live in the household too. Would it be suddenly different if I was using it to pay the mortgage and then used the leftover $1000 that would create in our budget to put in their college funds?
Obviously not because ultimately money is fungible.
He doesn’t agree and is blasting me to anyone that will listen. His mom, who we sometimes see, is taking his side and has been berating me about it since she heard. I don’t think it’s her business or that I’m doing anything wrong. Am I in the wrong here?”
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