People Get Nervous About Their Behaviour In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I spent last weekend helping my partner get ready for an event. I spent my Saturday in its entirety clothes shopping with her for the perfect outfit and helping her set up for the event (which was pretty miserable for me, I hate clothes shopping). On Sunday, I spent a decent portion helping her once again with that same event. This weekend, I spent Saturday with her helping her get materials to seal off cracks to prevent bugs from coming in, which she has had difficulty with, and comforting her over the loss of her friend. On Sunday, I spent time with her helping her seal off places where bugs could come in with Sikaflex, fire caulk, aluminum mesh, and spray foam, depending on where the cracks were located, and I did her grocery shopping because she wasn't feeling well. Today, being Monday and a holiday where I'm at, I wanted some time to myself to relax (which I had informed her about yesterday, and she wasn't okay with) but today I was bombarded with guilt tripping until I felt I had to turn off my phone to get away from it. After turning it back on, I was called toxic and told to "own my guilt." I work about 40 hours a week, and the boss normally gives me weekends off. I don't feel it's reasonable to expect me to basically work another part-time job in helping her, and literally never get a day off to relax. (She wanted me to do her and her kids' dishes and help her make food last night, as well as who knows what today.) I just needed a day, or at least some time to relax. If she had asked me in a way that wasn't guilt-tripping, I would have helped her today, but not first thing. The guilt tripping makes me not even want to speak to her." Another User Comments: "NTJ. But seriously, you need to re-evaluate your life choices here. This woman is hard work, and expects you to be on call for her all the time. You are entitled to have some time to yourself and not be made to feel bad about that. Then you throw in that she has 4 kids? This is a lifetime of everything being about her, her kids, and her own conditions. It's never going to be about you." alien_overlord_1001 Another User Comments: "NTJ. It sounds like you're helping her with her job and not only around the house. She sounds like she needs an assistant. It's cool you're willing to do all this stuff for her, but if you're like, 'Okay babe, I need a break and time to myself,' and she shows her fangs AFTER you did everything for her… well…. Why are you there? Sounds like she doesn't appreciate anything you have been doing and that you should be at her beck and call every minute of the day. Kids or not, this isn't healthy. You need to tell her your boundaries and stick to them. If she doesn't want to adhere to them, then don't adhere to the relationship. Keep it pushing. If she does then great, just don't back down." No_Material5630 Another User Comments: "NTJ - you ain't married and also, don't get married to this woman. It sounds like this may not be the relationship for you. Get out sooner rather than later. She is the toxic one. Her behavior after you said no is completely unacceptable. I don't care what her numerous illnesses are (also super hard to believe she has them all at once); she has them and she needs to deal with them. Hire help, hire a handyman, teach her kids to help out with dishes, cleaning, etc. because it's not your responsibility. It sounds like you are being used. Get out now because this is only going to get worse." Top-Butterfly-9582