AITJ For Refusing To Pay $76 For A BBQ I Was Invited To?

My old neighbor (we used to live in the same apt but I have since moved to a different one and the same town) invited me over for an egg hunt and bbq on Easter. I said sure, we’ll come – my 7 year old daughter & myself.

Well two nights before the bbq she texts me saying I owe her $60. I responded “Huh, for what!?” She called me and said I need to put in for my portion of the bbq. I was confused but said well ok I suppose. And, then mentioned how we would like to have sausages. She then texts me a few hours later and then says I owe $76. Confused even more, I ask why and tell her I need to see what all she’s purchasing.

Mind you, it’s the two of us, her, her bf & her 7 year old kid and then 4 grown adults from her family. She shows me a cart worth $228 and tells me I need to pay 1/3rd. She did add the sausages I requested (which were $3.99), but everything else, including the liquor was stuff my daughter & I don’t eat/drink. She also has things like hand soap and aluminum foil in the cart. Why would I pay for that!?

After much back & forth, I refuse to pay. She tells me ok, and tells me if I want to eat I can bring my own food and her bf will cook it. I do so, and bf is so mad the day of that I didn’t pay. I get there with my sausages and ask him if he can put it on the grill (he’s still grilling at the time). He tells me no & to go f myself.

Now this neighbor & I used to host bbq together when we lived at the same complex. We would split the costs, I would be involved in all the planning, grilling, etc. We would never charge the guests (who were casual associates through the kids). She claims all she was doing for this bbq was providing the venue & that she “knows” me so I should’ve willingly paid.

I feel like I’m NTA, but she text me basically telling I was wrong for not paying and asking her bf to grill my sausages. Am I?

Another User Comments:
“So obviously NTA it’s not even a question. You should’ve declined completely when this person first asked for a ridiculous amount of money. You did the right thing pushing back and asking, and I can’t even imagine what that ‘cart’ had to do with anything. There’s BYOB, and even bring-your-own for BBQ sometimes, but not ‘hey, fund our BBQ’ parties. This was absurd, and even for family or someone you really loved, it’d be a deal-breaker. For an ‘old neighbor’? Just block them forever.” Tangerine_Bouquet

Another User Comments:
“NTA She only invited you in order to knock her costs down. I’ll bet she asked her 4 family members to each cover a 1/3 as well, so she basically got a free party, plus supplies for her home. The idea that she would expect this is ridiculous. The fact that her bf is obviously insufferable should make it easy for you to just cut ties with her. That is appalling behavior on both their parts.” inFinEgan

Another User Comments:
“NTA and I’m getting a sneaking suspicion that your neighbor used to hit up everybody at the party to cover costs when you split them then never told you or given you your share. I don’t know where you are, but here in the South, you don’t charge guests for a barbecue dinner. If they want to help out, they can bring a dish. It’s even acceptable to demand a dish before you’re allowed to eat (which is why people who can’t cook bring chips and/or sodas). But to demand money – unless it’s a charity or church fundraiser – is incredibly rude. If you can’t afford to throw a barbecue, then you don’t throw a barbecue.” Abstruse


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