Keep Riding My Bumper? I Won’t Warn You About This Upcoming Speed Bump

“I am driving to work a few months ago and getting close, I have two turns remaining until I turn into the building. It is just a few blocks away. All side streets, no highways involved. This guy behind me is in a black BMW, and he is on my butt the whole time. I see him checking his phone, then making angry faces at me and getting closer and closer. I speed up a bit, thinking it might calm him down. 5 over, nope.

Anyway, I make the first turn and am now on the street where my building is, maybe 600 yards up ahead. The jerk is still behind me, driving inches from behind me and obviously angry that I am still going the speed limit (maybe 35 on this street). So I speed up a bit and see he does the same.

I drive an eight-year-old Toyota truck, not one of the big huge ones, but not one of the small ones. I do have all-terrain tires, and I have certainly driven through pastures, over rocks, popped a curb or 10 in my time. My suspension is in good shape and has no problem treating my decade-old truck like a truck.

Well as I get closer to my building there is a large speed bump in the street, effectively to get people to slow down as they approach the parking garage entrances. I look back and see the jerk still riding my bumper. I remember thinking to myself I need to slow down for this speed bump and looking back and thinking, if I hit my brakes, this guy is going to hit me.. The plan takes shape in my mind and I speed up..

I am doing about 45 when I hit that speed bump, and yeehaw.. I did a bit of a jump and land, never once touching my brakes. Didn’t even tap them. I gave him zero warning for what was about to happen.

I am watching my rear-view window intensely during this because I wanted to see his reaction. He was cradling his cell phone between his ear and shoulder when he hit. His hood bucked up behind me, then slams to the ground. I see him go flying out of his seat straight up. He slams his head on the roof of his BMW, and his head rolls sideways from impact. Then he slams back into his seat violently. He has a total, “What was that” look on his face as he grabs the wheel with both hands to recover.

… and yes, he slowed right down after that.”

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Loreleii Trueheart 3 years ago
Just what the asshat needed!
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