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YWNBTJ, but I would tell FSIL you decided not to propose then so she doesn’t tell your SO and try to ruin the surprise. Then just go ahead and propose like you planned.
Just here to disagree with eppydeservedbetter saying any good parent would not want to go on the trip. My husband and I are good parents and left our 9 month old with my mom for 8 nights/9 days. She is now 23 and doesn’t remember being left and is successful and well-adjusted. Parents aren’t bad for going on trips without their kids - it’s just what you are comfortable doing. I don’t think your husband is a jerk for wanting to go but I do think he’s a jerk for the things he is saying to you to try to get you to go.
You really are the jerk. What if she has some type of food issues or eating disorder? You could have made things even worse for her. Sounds like your parents didn’t teach you to mind your own business and not to make rude and unwarranted comments.
You are not the jerk. The wedding is actually about you and your partner. Even though your mom is the mother of the groom that just means she is an honored guest. (Unless she is paying for the wedding - then I think she should get to add a few friends to the guest list.)
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