MoonlightCATmelodies
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It's more common for people to be told they're probably having a girl and to have a boy but in my online "expecting Oct 2014" group there was one lady who thought she was having a boy and produced a girl. It is literally "can they see something there? Y - boy; N - girl" on the ultrasound when they check that everything's developing as expected - the penny only dropped on that one for the husband third time around (our first two are girls) when the technician explained what they were looking at while calling "boy". If Baby has their legs crossed or is an awkward position, it can be impossible for them to get a good view. Not sure how false "looks like a boy"s get called - I'd have thought the blood flow in the umbilical cord would be sufficiently different to easily rule that out?- Maybe a stray hand or foot underneath from the angle. And I think there's "only" a 2-3 month window that things are sufficiently developed, but Baby is not too squished, in which they can expect to get a good view.
It's a lot more accurate than when my uncle was expected to be twins because the midwife feeling my grandmother's stomach thought his bum/hips were a second head. It isn't foolproof.
Stealing your third-trimester-pregnant sibling's baby name because you were told the wrong gender, rather than thinking about family names, friends who you as a couple really value, names you just really like, etc, together is TA move. Calling out TA, making it clear how angry and hurt and that this is not something you are prepared to gloss over, does not make you TA.
If brother dearest was assuring his wife you wouldn't mind and she really wasn't expecting the level of upset - he is doubly TA.
That was the first option? She buys all her own food, it gets stored clearly separately and everyone else knows it's completely off limits. If she's buying ALL of her own food then by definition she isn't eating other people's either and it works both ways!
AITJ For Not Letting My Sister Borrow My Car?
7 months ago
Nope. She isn't insured. She has a past history of not respecting your things. You need that during the mornings and days to get yourself to work (or hope to do so shortly). It's not a viable solution.
Expecting her to get a weekend job for her discretionary spending and saving money, and also to do reasonable household jobs, e.g.:
* 12 year old making supper for the family one night and the 16 year old supper 2 nights a week, and tidy up after themselves;
* both responsible for making their own packed lunches with whatever necessary stipulations you need to give them (e.g. a sandwich with either X, Y or Z filling, 1 sweet snack, 1 savoury snack, 2 pieces of fruit, if otherwise they'd try to eat a multipack of crisps and chocolate bars a day);
* laundry responsibilities that could be "all laundry to go into colour-separated hampers. On [day of week he doesn't have commitments after school], 12 years to do a white wash and hang it out in the afternoon. On [other day when 16 doesn't have commitments], she does a brights/darks wash and hangs it out. Clothes magically folded and sorted. Kids then responsible for putting their own stuff away. If 16 has anything that needs ironing, that will be put aside for her to do herself."
* Both to tidy and hoover their own rooms once a week
* On alternating weeks, take turns to also hoover the common house parts
* Potentially, if 16 drives and doesn't currently have a job or too many clubs etc, once a week, she could also do a grocery shop (with jerk and a list) once/week
Should be totally reasonable, within the capability of kids their age, help prepare them for being adults, etc. And if that's all stuff you're currently doing while also trying to pick up extra shifts etc, may well give you a bit of breathing space.
They're only young once, but at the same time, they do need to reach adulthood with the skills, discipline, sense and confidence to survive independently. Asking them to spend approx. 4-6 hours a week (out of the ~40 leisure hours min. a week that they have, assuming they have at least 3 non-homework, non-mealtime hours of leisure time weekdays, and 12.5 hours/day weekends) really is not unreasonable.
If she wanted to contribute something from a job, then accepting up to say $20/month, which is likely to be close to 10% of her take-home pay, while thanking her for her generosity, would be nice. But if you're so close to the margins that sort of amount would make a significant difference, then your husband needs to pick up at least one temporary similar minimum wage part time-type job, taking every hour he can get, and put the whole amount he earns towards the family finances, while he continues the job search for something longer-term.
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WIBTJ If I Sue My Employer For Not Paying Me?
10 months ago
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