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If he is too tired from his paying job to do his chores once in a while, he needs to 'pay' others to pick up his slack - as others have mentioned, ensuring this is an up-front negotiation with his sibling(s) rather than a favour that can then somehow decrease (but not increase) the favours done for others. Neither his nor your daughter's pettiness should be considered acceptable...
It definitely sucks for little bro not to have his own space, but also in this case he was both inconsiderate and a liar (claiming not to have homework and then trying very poorly to do it sneakily). If him having storage outside of your room is impossible, I'd perhaps compromise by allowing one entry per night - if he can't plan well enough to get what he needs before you crash, he gets one chance to grab EVERYTHING he forgot, not multiple interruptions.
Yikes, I sure hope there are no young people relying on you to be informed or empathetic. The white stripe on the trans flag is literally there to represent nonbinary people. (Also, the issue wasn't that the teen had problems keeping to schedules, it's that they struggled with a LACK of that structure, which unfortunately these self-absorbed parents don't care to provide.)
ESH - grandma played dirty pool to get what she wanted and then gave up after half an hour, which is ridiculous even without the flying monkey brigade, but there's a big difference between 'we already paid for this meal but will collect the children after eating' and 'we don't care if our children are poorly behaved or well cared for, having a full night to ourselves for sex is all that matters'. Heck, if that was so important, just do it in the car before picking them up! Do NOT leave your children with an unfit and unwilling caretaker overnight - that should always be the standard, but especially if you know your kids to be so very 'energetic'.
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