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NTJ, you chewing gum in no way hurts/affects him, so saying youre inconsiderate and you should stop just cus he told you too is controlling behavior completely different than say, setting a boundary. Add to the fact that youve been doing this since forever, that it isnt affecting your health, he has known about it for a long while and was fine with it until recently.
NTJ, because it was supposed to be a couples trip, of course shes upset as she said it becomes all about dad. There is no reason the cant visit with son during the family time and have their own separate trip at a different time. Her time with her husband wont be her time with her husband and its only compounded by the fact that daddy invited himself and hubby has now prioritized him over his wife, on a COUPLES TRIP.
You assume mommy dearest won't take it, too many times I've seen abusive parents act this way with joint accounts only to turn around and take it to keep their victim bound to them even when they reach adulthood. Being a joint on the account makes it mom's money too just because her name is on it, who knows she may keep it for "raising you" costs(seen that a lot too).
Ntj, count the house as good as gone, say you don't want it and all costs will be brothers responsibility. When he ultimately doesn't pay properly on the home and it goes into foreclosure and you can buy it and kick him out.
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