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I think it shows a fundamentally different mindset. I think more like him that it's "one flesh" and this division of finances iand "what's in it for me" is odd. Except that there is another family involved. I think given how she feels, she'd be better off finding a partner who has never been married. And even then, there has to be willingness to compromise, on both sides, or he's right in that she isn't going to get a happy marriage
Soo NTJ. They should give the small bedroom to your sister, put all the boys in another and put the baby with the parents. That's literally what we did with a 3 bedroom house and 1 boy and 4 girls. The baby stayed with us until the oldest girl went to college. Having a bigger house would be ideal but isn't always possible.
That is a really hot temperature to keep your home at. I think you need better doctors.
NTA. But I think you should take one thing into consideration. She clearly wants to contribute in some way. I know you wanted her to bring wine, but she may be one of those people for whom baking/ cooking is a way of expressing love to someone. She might want to feel valued for something she's good at. Of course she shouldn't have ignored your wishes. But try to imagine what the root of the problem must be. Is she capable of bringing food that accommodates allergies? Just because YOU'RE worried about it doesn't mean she isn't aware how to cook for allergies. Did you discuss that? My oldest daughter is in college and she LOVES cooking and baking for people. It's how she shows her love. And one of her younger sisters was diagnosed with celiac last year while she was away. She's worked hard to learn how to still bake and cook when she's home so she can still do so for her little sister. I just think it's worth exploring. She's part of the family now so shouldn't she learn how to cook for them if that's what she really wants? Why are you the only one who can?
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