People Gather Wild Responses To Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories

It feels great when many people want to be friends with you because they believe you are a wonderful person, but it feels terrible when nobody will even approach you because you already have a bad rap. The worst-case scenario is when they base their negative opinions of you only on rumors. Here are some examples of people defending themselves from those who think they are jerks. Tell us who you think is the real jerk as you read on. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

35. AITJ For Kicking My Sister Out Because Of Her Gambling Addiction?

“My (22 f) sister (27 f) has been living with me and my 3-month-old for the last 2 months after her company liquidated. She wasn’t there long enough to receive a redundancy payment so she was kind of screwed.

Aside from the issue here, are was a good housemate. She was clean, had people over but never too many or too often, and helped out with the baby.

Just generally okay to live with, especially since she has actually been job hunting.

Now the problem is, my sister was a recovered gambling addict. All of her bank cards have gambling blocks in place because her addiction was so severe. She even would blow money on online games, such as Coin Master this time.

It doesn’t even need to be real coins she’s winning, just the spinny crap gives her that happy chemical. All it results in is losing funds.

She was using my tablet to do this, which I unknowingly had Google Pay set up. I never changed the settings so that I’d need a password to buy anything on the Play Store since I thought I was the only person with access to it.

I was wrong.

Yesterday alone, my sister managed to blow my ENTIRE paycheck on coin master, and I wasn’t aware until this morning when I went to get my groceries, but my card declined. I checked my banking app and emails and she had managed to spend everything on game packs.

This meant that I wasn’t able to grocery shop for the next two weeks, and while I can survive on what I had, the baby cannot, because we were low on everything for him but I can’t get what I need. I’ve posted on social media groups and stuff but they haven’t been much help yet.

I admit, I was maybe angrier than I should’ve been at my sister, and as soon as I got home, I kicked her out. I didn’t give her a reason, or let her know I know she spent everything, I just kicked her out. When our parents called to ask why, I explained and they said I’m being unfair, that since I didn’t set up necessary protection and knowing she has a problem, I’m being a jerk.

They won’t speak to me now and have taken my sister, who blocked me, in. AITJ?”

3 points - Liked by LilVicky, anmi and leja2
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rbleah 5 months ago
SHE IS A THIEF, plain and simple. Notify your bank that those charges were NOT YOURS. And think about charging her with the THEFT. If mom and dad want to support her that is THEIR PROBLEM NOT YOURS. You have a child to support so SCREW SIS. SHE KNOWS IT WAS WRONG AND ILLEGAL AND DIDN'T CARE that you can now NOT FEED YOUR CHILD.
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34. AITJ For Not Wanting To Live With My Sister's Partner Anymore?

“My sister got into a bad car accident last year. And while the hospital stay and operation were free she still had to pay for the medication, and the physical therapy afterward. (you have to buy medication from pocket because in our country, hospitals’ pharmacies are empty most of the time and physical therapy is only done at private clinics)

I have a well-paying job considering my age but I am not rich by any means and I help a little bit with the payments. They couldn’t keep affording the rent with his salary because the therapy is crazy expensive. I took them to my apartment and gave them my bedroom because my sister obviously couldn’t sleep on the couch.

I told her not to worry about rent or bills and just focus on getting better.

Her partner took my offer to mean that I was his personal servant and I had to talk to him for weeks until I snapped at him one day and told him to at least not trash the place if he doesn’t want to do any chores.

The next day when I was checking my email I found out that after our argument he sent me a lot of inappropriate pictures of him and my sister. I was livid at him and told him to pack his stuff and leave. He started apologizing and told me he intended to send those pictures to my sister.

It was a blatant and stupid lie (he doesn’t have my address, so he must’ve gotten it from my sister purposefully send them to me) I don’t know why my sister believed him but she did, she started and kept begging, and begging me to not kick him out.

Last Friday, we went to visit our parents in the countryside.

When we came back home Sunday I found the apartment thrashed and smelling bad. Smoke butts and Red Bull cans are all over the table. Leftover takeaway food from the weekend was all over the kitchen counter exposed with flies gathered around.

I have never been more angry in my life. I am not even a confrontational person but I never screamed so loud at someone like I did with him telling him to get out.

As my sister wanted to start begging me again. I told her to spare herself because I wasn’t going to change my mind. She told me that since I am kicking her partner I’ll be kicking her too.

I told her that I am not kicking her out that she will always be welcome at my home and that I’ll keep helping her financially and in any way I can except for letting that piece of work live at my place.

Especially when it reached a point where I preferred coming home late to avoid seeing his smug face.

However, since they left I have been feeling like a huge jerk for kicking my little sister, especially in her current state. I don’t even know where she is right now because she won’t return my calls or texts and blocked me from all her social media accounts.”

2 points - Liked by anmi and leja2
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Plv1985 4 months ago
Sounds like her husband needs a better job. You had to pay for therapy and let them move in for free?
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33. AITJ For Only Taking In My Sister?

“Our dad and his wife may or may not have abandoned her and his wife’s kids. We’re not super sure what’s going on right now. But we do know that they left the four kids with a babysitter and they did not return when they were supposed to and have been ‘strange’ on the phone.

CPS got involved and the kids are technically in foster care. I took responsibility for my (20 f ) sister (12 f). The caseworker agreed that as her closest biological relative, it makes sense for her to stay with me, and I can provide well enough for her.

The other three kids have gone to foster families since their only other known biological relative, their grandmother, is disabled and cannot take care of them.

When she found out I took my sister (as she was arranging to see her grandkids) she started contacting me asking how I could leave some of my siblings to the state, how could I let the family be separated, and all this stuff. I blocked her on one platform and she found me on another.

Then she started sending me emails. I told her to leave me alone.

In her last email, she said her grandkids are scared, feel alone, and are suffering and that she’s not considered fit to raise them given her disability and having no support, that I could and should step up and help and we could keep the family together.

I feel sorry for her because I imagine this is a lot for her. But I’m also not attached to those other kids and I was never super involved in my dad’s second marriage. The only person in the household I spoke to really was my sister. Occasionally, my dad does as well, but he and I are not close.

AITJ for taking my sister but not the others?”

2 points - Liked by anma7 and leja2
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rbleah 5 months ago
NOT THE JERK. Aside from the fact that you have NO connection to them on a personal level I would imagine you don't have the money or home size to handle more that just your sis. Just block the old one and tell CPS that you CAN'T TAKE THEM and the grandma is harrassing you and ask what you can do to stop her from this. Maybe nothing but at least ask. Other than that BLOCK HER ON EVERYTHING.
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32. AITJ For Being Mad At My Aunt And Spoiled Cousin For Breaking My XBox?

“My parents had a family gathering at my house and my cousin who is 11 and my aunt were invited. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone much that day so I mainly stayed in my room. An hour after my aunt and cousin arrived my cousin opened the door and saw me and asked what I was doing.

I didn’t want to talk to him and I asked politely if he could leave. He had said ok but then spotted my Xbox and said, ‘Can I play on your Xbox?’ And I said no, he left and I assume told his aunt about it.

His aunt later barged into my room and asked rudely if my cousin could play on my Xbox.

I said no again and she left. I then left my room to eat. I had come back into my room and I see my cousin jamming a disc that doesn’t even work with an Xbox inside of it with my aunt watching. I had gone into the room to confront my aunt but then I heard something.

My cousin had slammed his fist on the Xbox out of frustration that my controller wasn’t working when it was OFF. He had broken the Xbox and it started to make a loud screeching noise that was loud enough for my father to hear and come into the room. He said, ‘What is that noise’ and told me to shut it off.

I said that the noise was coming from my Xbox and I couldn’t turn it off since it was broken. I told my aunt and my cousin to get out while I and my father tried to stop the noise. After 1 minute the noise stopped and I could tell that my Xbox was damaged by the tv screen.

Me and my father went to confront my aunt but she was too busy taking care of my cousin’s hand because it had ‘hurt’ him. My aunt was being defensive about the situation saying that I should have just let him play and she wouldn’t pay for the damage. The situation has now divided my family people on my father’s side resent my aunt now but on my mother’s side of the family never saw a problem with the situation.

Now I refuse to talk to my cousin or aunt and my aunt keeps on telling me I am a jerk. It’s a shame too because my cousin is a good kid he’s just being spoiled rotten.”

2 points - Liked by leja2 and rbleah
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Raynoid 5 months ago
NTJ but your aunt is!! He asked, she asked, you said no. End of subject. She owes you a new Xbox
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31. AITJ For Hating My Haircut But Not Complaining To The Stylist About It?

“I (16 F) have been begging my mom to let me cut my hair short, like a pixie, for months.

Finally, my mom agreed since it was summer, and yesterday, the hairstylist (who is my mom’s friend) came to our house and cut my hair. I am not gonna lie, this stylist gave me a lot of bad vibes. She was saying some bad stuff about autistic people after I mentioned to her that I have ASD.

She also implied that she hated (all) women because she had a lot of bad experiences with her ex-coworkers, who were women.

Anyways, she kept trying to convince me to keep it a bit longer than the reference photo I gave her, and that if I didn’t like it, she can cut it the way I wanted it.

I agreed; I didn’t mind since change can be hard for me, and going little by little is easier for me. She cut my hair the way she wanted it, and I complimented her work because I had to admit she was good. But then I told her that I wanted it shorter. She said it wouldn’t look good on me, but I asked her to do it anyway.

She barely cut anything from it, and it didn’t look the way I wanted it to.

At this point, I didn’t want to say anything, because I hate confrontation, and I knew that my mom would tell me off for ‘being rude’.

Anyways, later, she was doing my eyebrows and I specifically said that I didn’t want her to trim them, but she did it anyways.

Again, I hate confrontation, so I didn’t say anything.

Today, I woke up and looked at my hair and eyebrows. I felt upset, and I hated myself for not saying anything sooner. I told my parents that I wanted to get my hair cut again and that I would even pay for it with my own money.

They got mad that I was complaining about it and said that it looked great, and my dad was making snarky comments about how I’m always complaining about things that don’t make sense. I started to cry. They told me to find a hair salon on my own and to tell them what I want, but I live in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language, which makes it even harder to communicate.

My brother is on my side, and he told me to post this here just to get closure, so AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by leja2 and anma7
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KayeItsMe 5 months ago
Big NTJ! The stylist was working for you and had a duty to do as you wanted. Plus, she was incredibly unprofessional to complain about women to you. I don't care if she is your mother's friend, she should never have talked about that around any client.
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30. AITJ For Saying That I Love My Gorgeous Fat Wife?

“I know not every bigger person likes to be called ‘fat’, most probably don’t, but my wife calls herself fat proudly because she overcame a bunch of eating disorders and loves the body she is in.

She asked me to use the word fat to describe her appearance instead of being overweight or something else.

Alright, the story: I’m an average-sized 36-year-old dude with a fat 37-year-old wife. We have been married for 11 years. When we met, she was really skinny, and throughout out relationship, she confided in me about her anorexia.

It got really bad many times. She also had depression. She has been in therapy for a very long time and combined with medication, it has been working great.

She recently gained a lot of weight and is now much heavier than she was when my whole family last saw her (before 2020).

My SIL (my brother’s wife) has been overweight her whole adult life and hasn’t managed to lose weight despite trying to.

She was always jealous of my ‘skinny wife’ and made several comments about it.

We all met for my dad’s 70th birthday for the first time in years earlier this week, we all live in different states. When my wife and I showed up, everyone was a bit shocked to see her, but no one mentioned it.

My SIL did though. She immediately started raising her voice at us, saying we know how much she struggles with weight gain and we should have given her a heads-up to avoid triggering her. I told her that seems a bit ridiculous and that we really won’t get into it now.

She went on and on about it all evening, berating me about ‘bringing a fat person without letting her know beforehand’.

She then said, ‘You know how important a healthy weight is, especially to me, how dare you bring this fat woman who used to be your beautiful wife here without A HEADS UP’.

At that point, everyone was looking at us, and I just said ‘I’m sorry you are insecure about your body, but I love my gorgeous fat wife and we don’t need to hear your crap, really’.

She cried and left, my brother and some other people there called me a jerk. My wife thanked me.

AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by leja2 and rbleah
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Raynoid 5 months ago
NOPE!!!! HER perception is not your problem, nor should it be.
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29. AITJ For Not Wanting To Pay For Half Of My Parents' Baby Shower Gift To My Sister?

“My (34 F) little sister (28 F) is about to give birth to her first child in the next couple of months and we’re all ecstatic. My sister has a baby shower coming up at the end of this month.

She has several things already but is lacking major things like a crib, stroller, diaper bin, etc.

I would consider her the gc. She’s never worked a day in her life. From her car to her expenses to her wedding to the home, she resides in, it was all paid for by my parents.

Yes, she is spoiled and can be a very big brat at times, but I love her. While it has caused some tension among our siblings because we didn’t receive the same treatment, I honestly appreciate being independent so there’s no jealousy on this end. Parents are now retired though so they’re living on a budget.

My sister is having a girl and I knew she mentioned wanting her to have a pink crib. I had my last seven years ago and had a practically brand-new crib in storage that could have been painted pink, only she didn’t want a ‘used’ crib. Fair. My parents proposed we (me and them) get her a crib since my siblings were going to get her something else, she needed. I’m in the medical field so my shifts are all over the place.

My mother states they’d found the perfect crib and that all they needed was for me to send my half. I’m thinking maybe a couple of hundred bucks. NOPE! My half was supposed to be a little over 4.5K! I immediately tell her that I would not be providing such a substantial amount of funds for a crib!

For that price, it better come with a nanny! She goes on to state that this is what my sister wants, and she deserves it! I asked if would she be sleeping in this crib. This is a crib for her baby! It’s a Lydian Crib, Walnut w/24k G, with tax it’s a little over 7k, with the custom pink paint job that’s another 1k.

I’ve never heard of such! Am I out of touch? Is this how much cribs are now going for? The crib is nothing spectacular! It looks regular with a square shape gold emblem on the front of it! WHAT!?

Once I tell her that I’m not giving that kind of money, she calls me selfish.

Ask me what’s so hard about me doing this for my sister since I make a nice salary and can afford it. I told her any person with common sense would not spend that kind of amount, then again she’s always lacked common sense when it came to my sister. Sister found out and now I’ve been disinvited to the shower, which is okay with me.

My siblings are standing with me and not going either and they’ve refused to buy some ridiculous stroller that’s over 2k. Now my mother and sister are blaming me for ruining her shower.”

2 points - Liked by anmi and leja2
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rbleah 5 months ago
Tell mom to SUCK IT UP since SHE CHOSE THE GOLDEN CHILD SHE can buy whatever she wants BUT DON'T SCAM YOU OUT OF THAT KIND OF MONEY, you won't allow her to do that to YOU. As for GC? Tell her to grow up like the rest of you did and SUCK IT UP TOO. Tell her you will no longer give HER ANYTHING. AND GET A JOB to support herself. If the folks are running out of money TOO BAD.
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28. AITJ For Comparing My Two Grandmas?

“I (f 15) grew up in a little village in South Italy with my Italian grandparents because my parents were always working in my father’s restaurant so I was always with them.

My father doesn’t get along well with them or my uncles and aunts because they have a different way to see life, so I grew up with him telling me that they’re monsters.

Back to the story, in February of this year, my Ukrainian grandparents left Ukraine to flee from the war. When they got here all was good and chill but after some weeks they started to demand to touch and throw my stuff away and to change my style of clothing (I like baggy clothes) even after I asked them they wouldn’t stop harassing me, my Ukrainian Grandmother even entered in my room while I was changing and refused to go out and close the door when I asked her, they were getting pretty annoying and creepy.

Sadly my Italian Grandfather passed away just a month ago and I’m staying all the time with my grandma to comfort her. Apparently, this is getting on my mother’s nerves cause ‘I should spend the same amount of time with my other grandma’ even if she’s not involved with my life like my Italian grandma is and she hasn’t lost her husband of 52 YEARS, and honestly, I kinda hate her.

Yesterday I and my mom talked about this and she said that ‘even if she doesn’t respect some of my boundaries she is still family and I should love her like my Italian grandma’. From that, I said that I will never love her as I love my Italian grandmother not only because she respects my boundaries, but because she raised me and took care of me when nobody else would.

She called me a jerk because I hurt her and her mother my Ukrainian grandma’s feelings. So AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by anmi and leja2
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rbleah 5 months ago
NOPE NOT THE JERK. BUT your mom and other grandma ARE TOTAL JERKS. What did mom expect from you when SHE DIDN'T REALLY RAISE YOU? AND other grandma comes in and decides that YOU AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH THEY WAY YOU ARE? Tell them both YOU ARE WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. With someone WHO LOVES YOU AS YOU ARE.
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27. AITJ For Having My Partner Come With Me As I Pick Up My Kids?

“My ex (43 M) and I (34 F) have two kids together (8 F and 5 F). He lives approximately 2.5 hours away from me and when I left him I had to go into a woman’s refuge.

I won’t go into what happened because that’s outside of my comfort zone, but let’s just say you have to fill in certain criteria to be given a spot in a refuge.

Skip forward 18 months and our kids now spend every other weekend at their dad’s house. We alternate handovers with one of us doing the whole journey there and back on a Friday and the other on a Sunday.

I have a new partner who I have known for about a year now and have been going out for about 10 months. He’s really lovely and supportive and the kids love him too.

I often have someone come with me for the handovers as I still find seeing him quite intimidating, but I’ve managed to do it by myself a few times now as obviously, this is more practical sometimes.

Last weekend I was feeling a bit under the weather so my partner offered to come with me and share the driving. I was picking up the kids, so the drive home would have been with them and I was worried about doing it in the dark whilst not feeling 100%. 5/6 hours is quite a long time to drive after all.

My partner got out of the car when we arrived and waited by the car, which was parked on the road whilst I went to the door to collect the children. We were waiting around 10 minutes before the door opened and I had knocked several times in that time. My ex’s mother was in the house and we could see her in an upstairs bedroom clearly taking photos of my partner whilst he waited.

The next day I received an email from my ex stating that our children were finding it quite difficult and strange that my partner is ‘imposing himself’ on handovers and that my ‘eagerness to promote my partner’ is concerning. I know that this is not true as both children had requested my partner come for the pickup so that they could see him and when I asked if they were sure it was ok they said ‘of course we love xxxx’.

I should state that my partner has been with me on the handovers around 5 or 6 times so this is not new, but he usually sits in the car. As we were there so long he just got out to stretch his legs and stand for a bit before the next leg of the journey.

I’ve had another email today from my ex stating that if I want to vary the handover arrangement this should be done gradually and by agreement and that I was not being sensitive to the children’s needs.

I feel as though this is the emotion that he’s projecting on the children. My partner and I have discussed the possibility of moving in together when the time is right for all of us, it’s not going to happen yet, but my ex will need to get used to him being around sooner or later.

I want our kids to know that there is nothing with mummy having a partner, but I don’t know if I am the jerk for bringing him with me?

AITJ for bringing my partner to the handover of the kids with my ex?”

1 points - Liked by anmi
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Ishouldntbehere2 5 months ago
NTJ! Your time with the kids is your time, there are no custody rules that say you can't spend it with both them and your partner at the same time, and all he did was drive. And that's BESIDES the fact you don't feel safe with your ex. Ignore the emails, or if you have a lawyer for your custody arrangement, send the emails to him and have him contact your ex in your place.
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26. AITJ For Demanding My Husband Returns The Bracelet He Took From His Ex-Wife?

“I (f 34) have been with my husband (m 37) for 2 years. He has a 9-year-old daughter with his ex-wife (Nora) and the reason for the divorce was financial. But she told me he initiated it after she got diagnosed with cancer. Now cancer has come back and I feel sorry for her because she’s a decent woman overall.

Due to the treatment schedule, Nora only gets visitation with my stepdaughter, for now, my husband drives my stepdaughter to see her mom 2 days a week.

Yesterday he came home saying Nora wasn’t home and he and my stepdaughter had to leave after waiting for an hour. He then went into the bedroom, stayed there for some time then went out to visit his friend.

I was cleaning the bedroom and found a gold bracelet that looked familiar, I realized it belonged to Nora as I’d seen her wear it before. I was confused I waited til he got home to ask him about it. His reaction wasn’t good, he lashed out and took it out of my hand saying I shouldn’t touch his personal stuff.

I said this wasn’t his stuff this is Nora’s, I asked if he took this bracelet behind her back and he said no, Nora gave it to him so he could give it to their daughter once she’s 20 in case something happens to Nora. I don’t know why but I didn’t believe him, I told him I would call Nora to ask her but he started yelling at me to stay out of his family business.

We started arguing and I kept demanding he tells me how and why he got this bracelet. He refused to say anything at first, then he admitted going into Nora’s room and taking it while she was out. I told him this wasn’t okay but he said this was his right after he spent money on her treatment before but never got his money back.

I was shocked by this statement, they were married back then and he shouldn’t expect to be repaid. I got mad and told him he has 1 day to return the bracelet or I’ll tell Nora and let her involve the authorities if she had to cause the bracelet looked heavy and pricey.

He begged me to stay out of it but I refused. He said I was being malicious and should side with him not threaten him but I refused to negotiate anything, and I’m responsible for my word now.

Nora is a decent woman who’s struggling and I feel like she should know she can’t trust her own daughter’s father in her home after this.

He said if I go through with this then this will ruin our relationship so badly but I said I’m still standing by my word. AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by anmi
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rbleah 5 months ago
Seems your hubs is a thief. THIS IS A HILL TO DIE ON. If he does something like this to HER WHAT WILL HE DO TO YOU?
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25. AITJ For Hating The Pajamas My Mom Gave To Me?

“I (36 f) was raised by my single mother (60 F).

I love her very much and I have forgiven many of her less-than-stellar moments knowing she did the best she could as she, herself, and her 6 elder siblings, were raised by an abusive woman.

As a child something traumatic happened that involved my aunt and her partner. My mom knew about it and did nothing.

Through the years I harbored a silent hatred for my aunt.

In my 30s I started therapy to work on my childhood trauma. I brought up the traumatic event with my mom and she told me she didn’t remember and dismissed it At the same time, my aunt’s health started declining. My mom kept calling me, telling me how hard it was to care for my aunt until one night when I got fed up and told her I was mad at her (my mom) for helping my aunt when she knew what happened to me.

She told me ‘She’s my sister’ and she would keep taking care of her. I told her I hated my aunt and would refuse any inheritance she may leave me. My aunt passed away in March 2021.

Fast forward to July 2021 – the first time I get to see my mom since Dec 2019 because the health restrictions made it impossible to do so in my country – my mom gave me a really cute pj she had found and had thought it would be perfect for me.

In September, she came to visit me and, as a show of gratitude, I wore the pj to bed. The next morning, she asked me if I liked the pj. I told her I liked it a lot because it was soft and stretchy. She then dropped the bomb that it belong to my aunt and that ‘now I had something to remember her by.’ I instantly felt sick to my stomach and wanted to rip the pj off my body.

I told her I didn’t want the pj anymore but before I could say anything else my mom told me to stop making a scene, that it was just a piece of clothing and I should be grateful she thought of giving it to me. I couldn’t talk back, too emotional to do so in a mature manner.

I went to change, washed the pj a few days later, and placed it in a bag with the intention of giving it back the next time we saw each other.

That next time happened to be Christmas. I waited until everyone had left after the celebration – not wanting to cause a scene – and gave the pj back to her saying I didn’t want it and that she knew why.

She started crying and told me I was selfish for ruining her Christmas. That, again, it was just a piece of fabric and I should be ashamed of myself. I told her she knew how I felt about my aunt and that I was not selfish for standing up for myself. I left the next morning and haven’t spoken to her since.

She tried reaching out a few times but I refused to answer her calls or text. Now my family is pressuring me, telling me that ‘I only have one mom’, ‘I’m being a bad daughter’, ‘She only has me’, and that I should apologize for making her feel bad but they don’t know the whole story.

They are making me feel horrible for standing my ground and not being ready to forgive her. AITJ?”

1 points - Liked by leja2
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Ishouldntbehere2 5 months ago
Soooo NTJ. I think if possible it would be good to go no contact with your mum, because she has no intention of being there for you when it really matters.
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24. AITJ For Wanting My Baby To Also Have My Last Name?

“I’m not really a huge believer that women should always take men’s last names. Nor that kids should always take dad’s name. When my husband (mid-20s, m) and I (early 20s, f) got engaged he asked me to marry him over text.

Super unromantic, we had a practical conversation about it as we were long-distance temporarily and I agreed. I mentioned I wanted a real proposal, and he said he would do it. Come us filling out the marriage paperwork, we didn’t have a wedding, he still hadn’t proposed. For a year after that any time I brought up feeling disappointed he would tell me that he planned on doing it on whatever upcoming special occasion (anniversary, valentines, etc).

He had mentioned multiple times wanting me to legally change my last name to his, and I told him I would do that when he proposed, AKA formally asking me to take his last name, ‘Will you become Mrs Smith’ and all that. Not expecting exact verbiage but still, something. I was willing to go through the pain of a name change and do something that I don’t really love the thought of if he could take like five minutes out of our name to spit out some nice words to make me happy.

Doesn’t have to be a whole ordeal.

Well after like two years I’ve given up. He’s Mr. Smith and I’m Mrs. Grey. Cue me being pregnant. We were talking about potential baby names, and he suggests one. ‘Daniel Smith, doesn’t that sound nice?’ Cue my confusion. I’ve said previously that I would only want to have the same last name as my child.

‘What do you mean Smith, it would be Daniel Grey?’ My husband was very angry and said his son would have his name. I really don’t want to, but I suggested that maybe we could compromise and hyphenate. He was not having it, he left to stay at a friend’s. I feel like I have a history of trying to compromise so that everyone can be happy and he’s just never willing.

AITJ for wanting to give my baby my last name, and not just my husband’s?”

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anma7 5 months ago
NTJ... he doesn't care about you AT ALL... your not his partner your his possession.. the child is his possession... you should not have filled out the paperwork nor should you have had a child... he can't be arsed to propose, he can't be arsed to have a proper wedding... amd now he demands the child his his legal last name not yours !! Girl run what do you get out of this
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23. AITJ For Snapping At My Friend Who Keeps Calling My Significant Other Fat?

“I (28 m) and my significant other Simon (21 m) have a mutual friend who I’ll call Sam.

To put it bluntly, Sam is overweight and while there’s nothing wrong with that, they love pointing out when someone doesn’t look like a freaking stick yet also belittles anyone who works out. Despite them being a total female dog my SO still hangs out with them so by default I do too. Every time they’re together Sam will make passive-aggressive comments about his weight and for some reason he just takes it which annoys me.

We’ve only ever had short talks about it and a few times he’s ended up crying, terrified that he’ll be sent back to a mental hospital. I hate that they spend time together but I don’t want to be the guy that dictates who my partner can and can’t hang out with. But all of that brings us to yesterday afternoon, the three of us were at a lunch bar and Sam started on with their usual crap of commenting on my SO’s weight.

It went on for maybe 2 minutes before they said ‘Now don’t take this the wrong way but I’m honestly surprised (insert name) is even going out with someone as chubby as you hun, maybe try eating less?’ I can not express how much that ticked me off. I originally didn’t say anything because I was waiting for Simon to either defend himself or motion for help but the fact that Sam had the audacity to tell a person with a past eating disorder to eat less severely annoyed me.

I SURPRISINGLY held myself back from doing anything bad and instead responded with, ‘There are two different sides of fat, and you my friend are on the ugly side’ before handing Sam $20 for the bill and telling my SO it’s time to leave.

The car ride home was weirdly silent and once we got home he locked himself in the guest room.

It’s the next morning and we’ve barely breathed a word to each other. I’m not entirely sure what I may have done wrong but this is incredibly out of character for Simon and I want to get unbiased opinions on the matter along with possibly some advice.”

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Ishouldntbehere2 5 months ago
NTJ, Simon needs to stop spending time with Sam. Doe she have a therapist he talks to about this stuff? If not it sounds like that would be a good idea because he clearly has internalized this stuff and has no intention of speaking up for himself, likely because he believes it's true
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22. AITJ For Being Mad When My Sister Unintentionally Revealed Her Pregnancy At My Engagement Party?

“I have a stepsister ‘Taylor’ who is 2 years older than me.

We were 12 and 14 when our parents married, and Taylor hated my mom and me from day 1. She can be a mean girl, and she definitely thinks she is better than everyone. She was also jealous and possessive of her dad. I wasn’t thrilled about the new blended family, but I wanted my mom to be happy.

Taylor was nothing but rude to my mom.

Growing up I always felt like I was in her shadow. I recently got engaged and my mom and stepdad threw me a beautiful engagement party. Taylor was there with her husband, and a couple of people were making jokes about how she will probably try to wear white to the wedding.

My stepdad made a joke about how he doesn’t care if she is his daughter, he is going to pay multiple people to be there with red paint water balloons because Taylor doesn’t get to get away with her crap at the wedding.

Suddenly Taylor began crying which is so out of character that everyone was shocked. She said she was just mad at her dad for picking me over her, but her husband was trying so hard not to smile.

Taylor told us all to shut up and not look at her because she can’t help it. My stepdad was trying to explain that she needs to learn a lesson, but he still loves her. Taylor finally blurted out that it isn’t that serious, but she is pregnant and she just has been crying about everything.

I was in shock that she would say that. Her grandmother heard and made a big deal of it to everyone, so by the end of the night, everyone had congratulated her. My mom was telling my stepdad how awful Taylor was for doing that and he said she didn’t mean to.

I replied that no one interrogated her, so she is still accountable for her actions.

Taylor’s husband was a bit tipsy at this point (doing celebratory shots like this party was to celebrate his baby) and called us jerks and jealous.

I said that she has no manners because deep down she is an insecure little girl. Her husband was mad. My mom told my stepdad that we don’t want her at any more of my events and he got upset and felt we were too hard on her.

Now people are calling me jealous and a bridezilla.

ETA – the people teasing her in the beginning were closer to her than me, and that group always teases each other. She is very proud of her flaws, and her husband has openly said he likes petty and difficult and thinks it is cute. I do think what her dad said hurt her, but she was not being bullied.”

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anma7 5 months ago
NTJ... her own father knows she pulls stunts to be the center of attention... she knew that by crying it would get a reaction and that then she could blurt out her news... I have a hard time believing that she had no intention of telling anyone her news at some point during your engagement party
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21. AITJ For Saying My Half-Siblings Are Not Entitled To Be Adopted And Included Into My Family?

“I (17 f) live with my mom, stepdad, and three younger half-siblings (10 m, 8 f, and 7 m). My stepdad also has two sons who are in their 20s. My dad died when I was a toddler and his family has been a huge part of my life and has kept his memory alive for me in a way my mom was no longer comfortable doing after she remarried. My paternal family also spoil me a little.

My grandparents have a savings account for me that my dad started. They have bought me stuff when my mom and stepdad were struggling. And the whole extended family has told me I always have a place with them if I ever need it.

So my stepdad’s ex-wife and her family have been nice to my half-siblings over the years.

Sometimes they even bought them stuff and extended the offer for access if his sons were doing stuff with their maternal side. My paternal family has never. I don’t see anything wrong with that. It makes sense to me even. They’re not super close to my mom and I’m their grandchild, not my half-siblings. I don’t see it as something they should do.

My mom and stepdad have always been bothered by it and have allowed my half-siblings to expect it. At Christmas when I went to spend some time with my extended family the oldest of my half-brothers ran out before I could and asked that he and the others be included and adopted into the family.

He said he wanted them to be their family too. My grandparents were the ones who picked me up and they had no words. I ran my half-brother back inside. My mom told me it was a fair question. My stepdad has tried more than once to sever that kind of access with them. But my mom knows grandparents’ rights would be granted if they cut us off, and she also knows I would never forgive her if she tried. I told her not to make me choose because that would be enough to make her not like the answer.

I told my mom and stepdad they need to explain to my half-siblings that they were not entitled to be included. They refuse. And so when my half siblings whined a couple of weeks ago I told them straight. My family is not their family, they are not obligated to include them and they need to stop because it will never happen.

They were so upset. Asking why my family hated them when their brother’s family loved them. My stepdad was furious at me for talking to them about it and being harsh.

AITJ?”

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anma7 5 months ago
Ntj... it may be ti,e to get paternal family to take it to court for you to go live withnthem ... you have done nothing wrong mom and stepdad however should have told THEIR kids why you have different grandparents to them and why you get trips etc they don't
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20. AITJ For Being Specific About What I Want People To Give To My Baby?

“I’m currently 18 weeks pregnant, my husband and I (both 30) are pretty excited about this. This will be our one and only child, the ninth grandchild in my family, one and only in his.

Since I waited until I was 30 to have a kid, I was able to attend my siblings and cousins’ baby showers, baby parties, and various activities, I got a hold of things you need/would want for a newborn. I was able to see my sister and SIL along with 2 cousins handling their kids and since I’ve wanted to be a mother, I took a seat and learn so many things.

I offered to take care of my nephews and nieces for 2-3 days to equally spend time with them, do a favor for my family and just get a hold of it.

I know that sometimes having a kid might imply too many things, but my husband and I have lived a very frugal-minimal life for too long that I can’t see myself doing that.

We’ve both decided that we don’t want to own 7,000 versions of the same thing, we’re both very organizational and for us, it’s pointless to have 2 strollers, 3 baby seats, and such (speaking from what I’ve seen my family get, my side is so big that my sister did get 4 strollers once). This obviously won’t apply to our kid toys, they would obviously be able to own as many as they see fit as long as they use it!

So, I did a thing, I made an Excel sheet with baby stuff we need (and, ‘guilty pleasure’, want) for when we’re buying stuff for the nursery. My MIL said that they wanted to buy some stuff for the baby (we know it might be ‘early’ but we decided we don’t want to know our baby’s gender and that they can buy whatever they see fit or like and any color, shape or form) so my husband extended the Excel to his side of the family and when they received it well (he did a really helpful modification, it’s now online, and you can fill what you’re buying and write your name so everyone can get a hold on how the list is going!), I made the decision of extending it to mine, but it was received with mockery and angriness.

My father said that an Excel sheet takes everything funny and happy about a baby coming; he said I’m controlling their life even before they’re born. I tried to defend us by saying we only want to make sure people don’t waste their money and while we do want to have some control, it’s very different from being controlling.

He said that this was ridiculous and that my family won’t respect my silly sheet because that’s not the point, I said that if everyone ends up giving me 100 strollers, I’ll donate 99 which infuriated him more and called me a jerk, and a joy killer.

I’m confused, AITJ? It’s this… weird?”

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Ishouldntbehere2 5 months ago
NTJ, baby registers are very normal in many cultures and do take the stress out of planning for one. Obviously it's not normal in your family, but they're behaving like jerks about it when all you want is to not have a million of the wrong things. They don't HAVE to use it, but they can at least use it to see if what they planned to buy you has already been bought.
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19. AITJ For Not Allowing My Best Friend's Son To Stay At My Older Daughter's Room?

“I have a best friend (BF). Her only child (4 m) and my youngest child (4 F)are the same age.

She and I take turns going to see each other every other month. I will take my little one to see her, or she does the same for me.

Last year we decided to have a 4th of July celebration where she and her husband (F) came to stay. We have a guest room with a king-size bed. We also have my younger daughter’s room which is very girly in pink.

My older daughter (12 F) was away for the summer at this time. Her room is gray and blue. She has lots of Lego projects spread through her room and assorted projects she works on.

BF’s husband is VERY much into the idea that their child is a boy’s boy. Not allowed to play with toy kitchens as it is ‘girly’.

Lots of blocks, trucks, and Hero toys. F encourages rough play and destructiveness because he worries that their son (D) is too soft.

When BF and her hubby came we offered them the king guest with a blow-up bed for D. However D is a terrible sleeper. Wakes multiple times per night and will wreck his own room most nights.

They asked if D be in a separate room from them.

I said sure. I would put D in my younger girl’s room. My younger would take her older sister’s room as she goes to bed right away, sleeps like a rock, and KNOWS not to touch her sister’s builds/art/legos.

F freaked out.

His BOY would not sleep in a girly room. Demanded D be put in older daughter’s room. I said no as he still wakes every night multiple times and would want to break the Lego city she has built. I said, ‘If him sleeping with pink walls and covers bothers you, you and BF can take the girly room with the full-size bed and D can have the king size’.

He refused that and complained all weekend. They stayed one night but left early so D wouldn’t have 2 nights in a girly room.

BF doesn’t agree at all but tries to keep the peace. This year they are coming again. Older daughter is also away for the summer. D still doesn’t sleep well and wakes repeatedly each night and loves being destructive with toys.

BF says ‘Just to avoid last year, D will have older daughter’s room right?’

I told her No. My older girl keeps all her builds and projects set on her Lego tables and the ground nearby. It is hard to try to move the whole city she has. My good sleeper will once again get sister’s room and D can have the girly princess room.

BF is upset. Her hubby F will be mad because D isn’t allowed anything girly. She says they are guests and why can’t I do this? I have known for a year how he feels about D in the pink room which was plenty of time for me to prepare.

I told her she can come alone, they can get a hotel, or he can suck it up and learn not to be a misogynist jerk.

She got mad at me for wanting to cause fights in her marriage when we are supposed to have a nice weekend. She is super peeved about this and sending angry texts.

AITJ, should I accommodate more?”

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rbleah 5 months ago
Tell her if her hubs has that much of a problem with this her choice is stay at a hotel or NOT COME ANYMORE. Tell her you DO NOT TRUST HER SON to NOT RUIN YOUR DAUGHTER's room. END OF DISCUSSION. Tell YOUR hubs to be a better father to the oldest daughter in PROTECTING HER THINGS.
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18. AITJ For Reporting My Car As Missing When I Know That My Husband Was Using It?

“My husband (35) does not have a car. He sold his old one to help pay for his brother’s wedding.

I did not agree on this but he had this car before we got together so it’s a shared property. Besides that, I have my own car so that did not affect me til my husband started complaining about having to commute to work and hang out places. He tried to get me to let him drive my car several times but I stood firm and put a boundary making him understand that my car will never be driven by him (one of the reasons why is because of how bad his driving is).

His brother lives out of town. My husband asked if he could drive my car to the wedding but I refused but not because I’m not invited (another story for another day) but because like I said my car is off-limits. He threw a fit calling me unreasonable to let him take public transportation because he can barely stand it for 10 minutes let alone hours.

I said it wasn’t my problem which irritated him but made him stop arguing about it.

The day that he was supposed to travel out of town. I woke at 10 am and couldn’t find my car key. I went outside and couldn’t find my car either. I was beyond angry. I called him and as I expected, he took it and was on his way to the other town.

I lost it and told him I gave him no permission to take it for the whole 5 days and said that if he won’t turn around with it and come home then I’d call the cops and report it missing. His response was ‘You wouldn’t dare do it ’cause you know what would happen’. I hung up on him then immediately called the police and told them about my situation.

I did NOT tell them my husband took it because they’d think it’s a family dispute and decide to not get involved. I just reported it missing.

2 hours later I got a call from my husband saying he was back in town and was being held at our local police station. I went to the station and talked to the cops.

My husband made a scene there swearing over and over that I gave him permission to take it and said I was acting out of jealousy and spite because he was going to attend a wedding that I was not invited to. I took my car and went home but he had to stay a little longer.

He came home in the evening and went on a rage fit about how I created an awful situation and almost caused him to miss his brother’s wedding. He called me vindictive, bitter, and a lunatic to call the police on him and try to accuse him of stealing my car. He had to leave the same day to be able to be there with his family and decided to extend his stay and he still hasn’t gotten back yet.

Right now his mom and brother are blasting me for what happened and calling me spiteful.”

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Candygirl 5 months ago
SOOOOO NTJ, but you know that already. It's bad enough that he took your car against your wishes, but it wasn't even just for the afternoon or for the day. He left knowing he was going to be leaving you without your car for 5 whole days? What an jerk! This is definitely grounds for div
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17. AITJ For Being Upset At My Fiancé For Giving Me An Expensive Ring?

“My fiancé has been asking me what I want for my engagement ring for close to a year. I’ve sent him reference photos at his request. He’s asked me explicitly what carat I want and what carat my family would find acceptable (don’t ask – they are a bit materialistic and overbearing, one of the reasons I moved away from them).

I told him repeatedly what my ideal would be, but emphasized that I would be happy with anything from him because it would be a symbol of his love and commitment. I always knew he makes enough money to buy an ‘impressive’ ring, but I don’t think it’s right to put that pressure on him.

Fast forward to two weeks ago, he ended up proposing with a ring that was completely different than what we discussed. The metal was different, the cut, design, etc. He told me it was a family heirloom. I was thrown off because he never mentioned it before. Regardless, I was over the moon not only at the thought of marrying him but so flattered that his family wanted to give me something so sentimental. Obviously, I said yes and I can only imagine I appeared as ecstatic as I felt.

I took the ring and was overjoyed. He paused for a moment and was confused, but kinda recovers and we went about our normal lives.

I’ve been talking about how happy I was to have something so meaningful from his family for the past two weeks.

Well, yesterday he sheepishly came to me and gave me exactly the ring we had talked about.

At first, I was gutted – I thought his family no longer wanted me to have a part of their history. So, he clarified that the first ring wasn’t a heirloom, it was something he bought as a joke and he was expecting a reaction out of me. And he was shocked he didn’t get one and didn’t know what to do when I was so happy with the first ring.

I was floored. At that moment, I was so confused and had so many conflicting feelings I couldn’t process in real time that I didn’t know what to say. I just walked out of the room.

He now is saying that I ruined our proposal/wedding story by walking away and ‘shutting him out’ when he gave me an expensive ring.

He is genuinely upset at me for not being stoked he ‘pranked me’ initially. Am I the jerk for being disappointed and confused?”

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anma7 5 months ago
Omg... the red flags are at full mast with this 1.... he pranked and LIED to you at YOUR PROPOSAL.. for what reason ? To see if you were a gold digger ?? Do you really want to stay with this moron for the rest of your life possibly.... honey I don't know why the jerk he thought that was acceptable.. the fact he lied on its own is bad enough buy to couple that with a prank too.. what did he think would happen once he 'fussed up'... you would hug him thank him for lying to you and making a mockery of that special occasion
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16. AITJ For Wearing A Bikini On A Vacation With My Partner's Family?

“My partner (28 M) and I (22 F) have been together for 2 years now. Every year at the end of summer, my partner’s family has a beach trip. They have a cute cottage that they go to visit a few times a year.

Last year I was unable to join, but this year I was able to make it. I’ve met his family before many times and we get along well, so I was looking forward to it.

While I was packing, I was sure to include nicer dresses incase we went out and even included a more modest bikini than I would usually wear.

This one is still a bikini but is full coverage, unlike my others. I know his family can be a little more conservative so I kept that in mind when packing. I even went over everything I packed with my partner.

On the trip were my partner and I, his younger brother (20 M), his older brother (30 M), his sister-in-law (23 F), and his parents (M 63 & F 50).

The first day went by really well. Our flight didn’t have any issues, we unpacked, got settled, and all went out for dinner. The next day we had planned to go out on the boat. So I put on my bikini and had a cover-up. No one said anything to me as we were leaving, or even when we were on the boat.

I spent the whole day in my bikini without a single comment. It wasn’t until that night I realized people had an issue with it.

We were all drinking on the boat, with the exception of my partner’s SIL because she was pregnant, and we continued drinking when we got back. So after dinner, we were all pretty wasted. When we were talking about our time on the boat, my partner’s dad made a comment about how everyone was staring at me because of my ‘flirty bikini.’ I was embarrassed and just laughed it off, but then everyone else chimed in to comment on it.

His mom laughed and said it was fine, that she would wear nothing if she were young again, but then his younger brother said that I basically was wearing nothing. I defended myself and said it was the most conservative suit I had, and then his older brother said that it didn’t leave anything to the imagination and that if he were single he would have tried to steal me away.

That comment made me pretty uncomfortable, and I could tell it made his wife uncomfortable too. I asked if she would wear bikinis on the trip and my partner’s dad interrupted and said that she did, but it was different.

My partner just laughed along with all of this, didn’t even see anything wrong with it.

When I told him to say something, he said that I did look like I was trying to ‘get screwed’. Well, that comment was the last straw. I went to our room. I wanted to leave early after all that, but we only had a few days so I just pushed it in the back of my mind and kept to myself the rest of our trip.

I know they were just joking, but what they said really bothered me and made me feel uncomfortable. I’m not sure why my partner doesn’t get that. He just keeps saying that they were joking around, but it obviously wasn’t very funny to me so now he’s saying I ruined the trip by moping around the rest of the time.”

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anma7 5 months ago
NTJ.. they WERE NOT JOKING... they were all perving on you and partner allowed it and then came out with that comment about you.. HIS PARTNER of 2yrs... oh honey see the light before much longer... you were right to feel uncomfortable. They aren't joking they will keep this crap up cos they KNOW that partner won't defend you
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15. AITJ For Not Wanting My Husband To Go Back To Work?

“My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We met in college and got married shortly after graduating. We are both very career oriented and have professional goals that we want to obtain. About 8 years ago we had multiple changes in our lives. The first was me finding out I was pregnant unexpectedly. The second was my husband losing his job when the company he worked for filed for bankruptcy.

We had a lot of hard conversations about what these two things meant for our lives. Ultimately, we decided to keep the baby and have my husband stay out of the workforce to get our home ready for a child and to be a stay-at-home dad while I continued to pursue my career. We came to this agreement with the understanding that he would be able to pursue his career again in the future.

Then, 4 years ago we had another unexpected pregnancy. (Yes, I was on birth control and taking it properly.) Now we have 2 lovely and amazing children.

The global crisis hit my husband harder than it did me as he was taking on the majority of childcare and the schooling at home for our oldest was difficult.

As hard as it was on him, this time period couldn’t have been better for my career. Over the past 2 years I have received multiple promotions and my career trajectory is years ahead of where I thought it would be.

A few weeks ago I received a job offer from a different company that would be another big jump for me.

However, it would require relocating to a different state. I excitedly brought this up to my husband but he wasn’t happy for me.

He asked what that would mean for him to go back to work and I told him that it would take some time for us to get assimilated to the area and for me to get accustomed to the new job as it would probably be more stressful than what I am doing now, but with much higher pay and benefits.

I told him that we could discuss him going back to work in maybe a year or so after we move.

He told me that he’s tired of being a stay-at-home dad and he’s becoming resentful of watching me get to achieve my goals and dreams while he is living a life he never envisioned himself doing.

He told me I’m being selfish to want to uproot our family for my job and for asking him once again to put his goals and dreams on hold so that I can achieve more of mine.

I told him that his being a stay-at-home dad doesn’t have to be permanent and this is just another huge step for us as a family.

He cut me off and said ‘No, it’s a huge step for YOU. For the rest of us, it’s just moving.’ I told him that was unfair and he said the unfair thing was me breaking promises I made to him. I told him that was years ago and things have changed.

If I’m being honest, I know it is going to be hard for him to get back into his career after being gone for so long.

A huge gap like that in his employment record is almost DOA for him to get a good job. I feel bad about it, but we do have a pretty good life as it is and this new job would only offer more opportunities.”

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rbleah 5 months ago (Edited)
Your husband is trying to tell you to LISTEN TO HIM and you don't want to. You will end up LOSING HIM if you keep treating him this way. Maybe he DOES NOT WANT TO BE A PERMANENT STAY AT HOME DAD. Did you think of that? NO YOU DID NOT. You have this vision in your head and NOT LISTENING TO HIM saves your vision for the future.
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14. AITJ For Dressing Inappropriately To A PTA Meeting?

“When I was 10 my mother remarried and had two more kids, 9 months apart, Thor and Loki (currently 13 M and 14 M).

The summary is my mother was not fit to be a mother and the court agreed as I had been taking care of my little brothers full-time since they were born pretty much. At 17 I enlisted and on boot leave (+RA) got full Legal Custody of my little brothers, so for the past 5.5 years they’ve been moving around with me in the military, (though again, I’ve been taking care of them, like changing diapers, testing bottles, taking care, since they were +-6 months.)

So recently I got a really good job (as was my plan when I got out of the military) and the boys and I live in a 3-bedroom/2-bathroom apartment in a REALLY nice part of town. I recently enrolled them into a bougie private school so I can ensure that if they want they can get scholarships for college and whatnot.

Now this private school has the parents REALLY involved. So I spaced that the boys’ school had a PTA function/parent-teacher conferences after work this day. I was still on time but I showed up in my work clothes. (Sidenote I’m quite thin if that matters) A dress that was NOT low cut minimal makeup, stockings, (thigh highs but no one could see them anyway), and small heels.

Now I’m sort of tall and this dress falls about 2.5 inches above my knee, which I guess MIGHT be short?

Anyway, I noticed some of the parents looking at me so I went over to say hi, and started chatting. A couple of the guys were also former military so we were joking around and hitting it off when some of the moms pulled me aside and snidely informed me my attire was inappropriate for the event.

Now I disagreed and went back to chatting with some folks when I saw my little brother’s favorite teacher (28 M, very attractive) and went over to chat with him.

Now I politely asked him if he thought my attire was appropriate and he said I looked ‘both appropriate and pretty’. But the group of women who pulled me aside have been spreading rumors that I was a jerk for ‘bringing down the class of the school’ and ‘dressing like a flirt in the school’ so am I the jerk for continuing to wear dresses to PTA functions?”

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Plv1985 4 months ago
Theyre just jealous
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13. AITJ For Not Supporting My Daughter's Hobbies?

“My son fell in love with ice skating after he went on this reward trip when he was 8 with his school. After he came back from the trip he begged and begged me to let him learn. I didn’t want to go all-in and he lose interest in a month. But he never lost interest and the stars aligned when I saw someone giving away a pair of children’s skates on social media and they were my son’s size.

So I got him the skates and my best friend knew someone who work at an ice rink and sorted it so my son could go in for free. So he would watch videos and practice whenever he could and practically taught himself. His first pair of skates fell apart before he outgrew them and I brought him brand new ones and for his 10th birthday, I surprised him with figure skating lessons.

Since then he’s competed in a few competitions but he mainly just does it because he enjoys it. When we moved I paid for his membership at the ice rink, whenever he outgrew or broke his skates I would get I’m new ones. I drove him to practice and competitions.

My son is now 16 and my daughter is 18.

Unlike my son, my daughter never really had a hobby or anything. However, in the past few years, she’s had a few interests that she would give up on after a few weeks. First, it was crocheting then it was baking then it was yoga, and so on and so on. I didn’t mind getting her things for her hobbies because it wasn’t too expensive.

However recently she says she wants to start making jewelry, soaps, and makeup and start selling them. I offered to buy her some molds and told her to send me links to ones she liked.

The next day I got a text from her and it had a bunch of soap molds, a bunch of different resin molds and links to soap ingredients, pigments, resin, packaging, and a bunch of other stuff she would need. It was almost $600 worth of stuff and almost everything she had asked for was the most expensive option.

I told her that I wasn’t getting her all of this and that I said I would buy her a few molds not fund her small business.

She told me that’s it unfair that I’ve spent so much on her brother since he was little but won’t support her interests this once.

I told her that I don’t want to spend hundreds for her to drop it in less than a month. She then started crying and saying that I don’t believe in her, her dedication, and her talents and that this is what she wants to do. She then left for her mother’s and has been ignoring my calls since.

I didn’t think I was in the wrong until she pointed out the possible favoritism and started crying. I feel horrible for making her cry. AITJ and how do I fix this?

EDIT: Both my children have different mothers. I and my daughter’s mother split before she was born (amicably, we are still close friends and get on very well).

I and my son’s mother split when he was 6 and she later passed when he was 8. They are half-siblings. I am a lot better off financially than my daughter’s mother, that is why I’m covering the expenses of her hobbies and not her mother.

My son’s membership is about $85 a month, and he needs new skates every 2 to 3 years, his skates range from $150 to $200 (and were obviously cheaper when he was younger).

He pays for most of the entry fees for competitions and makes his own outfits and costumes.

For every hobby my daughter pursues I spend about $50 – $75 on supplies and stuff until she gives it up, and that was what I was willing to pay for her this time. I have no issue with her exploring different hobbies, I just don’t want to invest hundreds for the equipment to sit in a box gathering dust. If she continued to pursue and enjoy something I would have no issue investing as much as she needed.

Also when it comes to her mother, her mother does not make as much as me, so when we split I said I would cover any hobbies, clubs, extra curriculum, or school tips sunless she started making as much as or more than me (she’s a lot more stable now, but I’ve been promoted and still make more, I don’t know, we may not be together anymore but I still care a lot about her).”

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Plv1985 4 months ago
Tell her to pick cheaper options and start smaller and prove her dedication before you five in with that kind of money.
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12. WIBTJ If I Send My Wife To A Hotel So I Can Have A Party At Our House?

“My (35 M) wife (32 F) is 36 weeks pregnant and is having the baby shower over the weekend. She has no friends living nearby, so it’s going to be done over Zoom. I only mention this because we would not be having this issue as she would’ve just gone to a friend’s house like she normally does.

My friends thought it would be a good idea to hold a dad shower/birthday party for me in the evening on that same day as my birthday is over the weekend. Unfortunately, we have a larger home than all of my friends and with current restrictions in my province, we have to hold the party at our house.

All my friends have pitched in for a hotel room for my wife, she’s pregnant, I know my friends, this party will go on much longer than it has to and will be much louder than it has to. She initially agreed to stay in the hotel.

However, my wife changed her mind stating that she was nervous that she might go into labor on that night and she would prefer to just stay in one of the bedrooms at our place.

Furthermore, she’s now also stated that the party can only have male guests because as she states they’re restrictions and there’s no need to have plus ones or any females there. Despite the fact that even with no plus ones, we will still be above the restricted limit.

As soon as she brought up the potential to go into labor, I immediately decided that canceling the whole party was the responsible thing to do.

However, she doesn’t want me to do that. She wants me to hold the party but ban women from coming, while she stays in one of the rooms. I know my wife well, as long as she is in the vicinity my phone will be blowing up about noise, guests, etc. Frankly, I just want to cancel the whole thing but she won’t let me.

So now I come to you.

So WIBTJ if I just tell her to go stay in the hotel and have the party that I want?”

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anma7 5 months ago
YTJ... your breaking restrictions for YOUR bash but she HAS to have 1 over zoom... the. You tell her that women will be there... really!!!! Grow up before she leaves your jerk and takes the baby with her
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11. AITJ For Cooking Food That I Want?

“I recently moved in with a new roommate. It’s just the two of us right now.

So, I like spicy food. I like to make curries and bean chilies and all that good stuff. My roommate, however, absolutely despises them. When we moved in together, we agreed that I cook the spicy food while they were out.

So that’s what I’ve been doing. I cook a big batch of spicy food and put the rest in the fridge for leftovers throughout the week.

After my first curry, they complained about the smell so from then on I’ve been taking extra steps to be careful like opening the windows and turning on the extractor fan, etc.

We recently had an argument as last week I forgot to wash and dry the dishes of some leftovers I had warmed up.

I had left the dishes soaking overnight in the dishwater. My roommate called me a jerk because they woke up at night, smelt the curry, and felt sick the whole night. I apologized because I felt bad – I mean I didn’t realize their sense of smell was that sensitive.

Lately, they’ve also been saying the food bin is smelly if I throw anything away like veggie peelings and onions and so on.

I thought that was a pretty good point, so I bought a silicone bag and have been making veggie broth from leftovers in the freezer but they hate the smell of that too.

Today we’ve been discussing how to move forward. My roommate wants no more stinky dishes in the house (curries, chilies, burritos, stir fries, etc) ever again.

I argued that that would be a waste of ingredients and I am paying half the rent and I don’t want to completely change how I eat.

My roommate says I’m ignoring their preferences and forcing my choices onto them and that spicy/stinky food sucks anyway. So I asked some friends and family if I could use their kitchen to make spicy food, but a couple have said the situation is ridiculous and my roommate is being a jerk.

I’d just like to know if anyone is totally in the wrong here or if there’s something I’m missing. Because at this point I just want to eat my food in peace, but my roommate is someone I’ve known for years and trust and I don’t want to hurt them by being a jerk.”

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rbleah 5 months ago
You may not want to be a jerk to her BUT SHE IS BEING ONE TO YOU. You are roommates. kThat means she does NOT get to tell you what you can and cannot cook/eat. Tell her this is NOT BURGER KING and she does NOT GET IT HER WAY. And start looking for a new roommate. She sounds controlling. Tell her YOU PAY HALF THE RENT so are entitled to choose what you do. Nobody made her MOMMY OF THE HOUSE.
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10. AITJ For Parking At A Spot That's Reserved For Pregnant Women?

“I have an autoimmune disease that limits my mobility. I have handicapped plates on my car, and on bad days I have a walker to use as I have issues walking. Normally I have groceries delivered to my house, but we were expecting bad weather this weekend and wanted to pick up a few things while I was getting my medication refill.

Because this medication is controlled, I have to show identification to pick it up and they will not deliver it to me. I know in a few years I won’t be as mobile as I am now, so I try to enjoy my independence and being able to do things for myself, which is why I do not ask my friends or parents to help me with errands unless I absolutely have to.

When I got to the grocery store, all of the handicapped spots were full. The only close parking were spots designated for expectant mothers and families with small children, so I did park there because the only other open spots were at the back of the lot, too far for me to walk safely even with my walker.

As I was getting my walker out of the backseat, a woman and her husband pulled up and the woman started shouting at me that I was not allowed to park there, it was reserved for pregnant women. I explained that I was disabled and all of the handicapped spots were full, and she started yelling that she needed the spot because she was pregnant.

The man who was with her told her to stop it and said he would drop her off at the door, and she yelled at him to shut up. I got my walker out of the backseat and made my way to the pharmacy, got a few treats for the weekend and a word search book in case power went out.

When I got back to my car, the police were there and so was the woman and man from earlier. They called the police and the woman had accused me of having fake handicapped plates and lying about being disabled. The police officer asked to see my license and registration. I explained that I had an autoimmune disease that affects my mobility.

I assume the police officer checked to see if the handicapped plates were valid because he just handed my stuff back to me and told the woman that there was nothing he could do. He said that the spots were courtesy of the store and they had no control over who parked in them but did tell her that it should be okay for disabled people to use them when no handicapped spots were available.

The man who was with her was very upset and just kept apologizing and telling her to drop it but she just kept shouting at me that I had no right to steal the spot away from her because she needed it more.

I went home and was very upset. I did not think that I did anything wrong by parking there.

My mother said that I should have just gone home and gone back out later, my friends think that I was fine to park there because all of the handicapped spots were taken.

AITJ for parking in the expectant mother parking space at the store?”

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Ishouldntbehere2 5 months ago
NTJ, like the literal authority told you, the spaces are a courtesy of the store, not a legal requirement, and if all the handicaps are full then it only makes sense that those with disabilities spill into the pregnant spots. It IS illegal to park in a disabled parking lot if you don't have proof of disability, but you didn't do that. The pregnant woman would've had to wait for a spot to empty if those spots had been full, so you caused her no more inconvenience than any other pregnant person arriving would have. She's off the rails, and needs to realise that being pregnant is NOT a disability, it's a choice.
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9. AITJ For Calling My Parents Lazy?

“I (16 M) share a room with 2 of my younger siblings (13 F and 8 M) while my twin brother gets his own room.

I never thought it was fair that he got his own room, but I’ve come to peace with the fact he is my parents’ favorite child, I can’t blame them, he is smart, talented, and really good-looking. But I am not sure if I can keep that peace anymore after yesterday.

So yesterday, my pregnant mother called us all for a meeting, she said that a new crib was coming tomorrow and the baby would sleep in my room.

Me and my younger sister just got this feeling that something wasn’t right, and I told my mom that my room had 2 other people in it and it was already pretty crowded.

My mom however refused to listen to me and said that we had the bigger room and it’s only fair that she and my twin didn’t have to have another person in their room.

My sister said it already sucked having 2 boys in her room, and a baby wouldn’t make it better. But my mom said my sister was making excuses, and having a bigger room means more responsibilities.

My dad took my mother’s side and told us that it was their house and when were 18, they aren’t the ‘bosses’ of us anymore.

I am usually pretty calm in these situations, but I couldn’t contain how mad I was, it was impossible to get any privacy in my room, what is another child going to do about that problem?

I called my parents lazy butts for not moving and proceeded to go off about how they cared so much about my twin but not me, I said a lot of stuff that was probably not true, but it made me feel better for a period of time.

So, AITJ?”

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anma7 5 months ago
NTJ... if you are in the USA call cps if you are in the UK call child services as there are laws about children of the opposite jerk that are over a certain age sharing a room... same as there's rules about overcrowding.... the fact they give brother a room of his own while forcing your sister to share with 2 males 1 of which is 16 is definitely something the cps will act on... never mind throwing a baby in there too...
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8. AITJ For Not Helping My Mother-In-Law With Preparing For The Family Dinner?

“Every year, during their anniversary, my MIL and FIL host a dinner.

My husband + his 3 sisters + their families are all invited. My husband and I live 30 mins away while the others are 1 hour away.

Usually, everyone arrives sometime before dinner time. Except husband and I. They always ask us to come in the afternoon so that we can spend more time with them. We go and my husband and FIL watch some TV, drink some beer, talk and relax.

Every year, my husband tells me that we should go early and insists that I need not do any cooking/cleaning. Every year, I end up hours in the kitchen or helping my MIL clean. My husband who helps around equally at our house doesn’t lift a finger to help his mother. I do this because I feel bad that she is working all alone and feel guilty.

This has happened for the past 4 years.

This year, I was tired and I told my husband that we should also go in the evening. He refused saying that he wanted to spend some time with them. I told him that I was tired and he told me that nobody asks me to do anything and he told me to relax there.

I took him up on his offer. We went there. I popped open a beer, sat in the garden, listened to some music, and read a book.

In the evening, my MIL looked exhausted. My SILs found out and called me out for not helping. I asked them to come early next year and help if they were so worried or better, we can all just have dinner at a nice restaurant (which I have recommended many times.

But everyone insists that this is tradition and nothing tastes as good as MIL’s cooking anyway). Now, everyone is mad at me except my MIL and husband.

AITJ here? I feel like I proved a point but in the end, I still feel guilty because the only one affected was the only one innocent in all of this (my MIL).”

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rbleah 5 months ago
Tell these people that they need to get off their LAZY BEHINDS AND HELP THEIR MOTHER.... HELLOOOO. Tell them that you are the ONLY ONE that has helped her in the last FOUR YEARS. Ask them WHY IS THAT since you are the DIL and NOT THEIR CHILD? Throw that guilt around to your hubs too. Tell him since he does NOT CARE ABOUT HIS MOM MAYBE HE SHOULD STAY HOME AND YOU WILL COME HELP HER. GUILT, GUILT, GUILT. Tell MIL sorry but you are tired sometimes and HER CHILDREN NEED TO STOP THEIR CRAP.
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7. WIBTJ If I Take My Neighbor's Cat?

“In September of 2021, a little orange tabby kitten showed up at my front door. He had no collar and I had never seen this cat before. I assumed he was a stray. He warmed up to me very well. I brought him inside and gave him food and water.

He stayed with us for a few days until my neighbor asked if we’d seen the cat and stated that it was theirs. So we returned him. But then we started noticing the neglect. The wife told me that it was her cat and that he was supposed to remain indoors, but her husband hates cats and lets him out all the time.

My partner and I would come home countless times to see that cat in freezing cold weather crying to be let in. When this happened, we would bring him in for the night for warmth. He was always alone. Because of this, my partner and I always kept an eye on him to make sure he was okay and fed.

One time I noticed that the little guy had hurt his ankle, so I scooped him up and brought him inside so he’d be safe while I waited for my neighbors to get home. I decided to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they didn’t know he was hurt. Well turns out they did know and still continued to let him wander outside.

He disappeared after that. Our neighbor said he went to stay with her mom.

Fast forward to today. He’s back! He remembers my partner and I. He was so excited to see us. But he still looks neglected. He’s very dirty, and could quite possibly have fleas. We gave him food and water which he gladly accepted. He keeps crying at our door.

And we feel horrible. We haven’t seen him for months and now that he’s back, I feel like it’s my chance to give him the loving home he deserves. But would it be wrong since he’s technically not mine? I feel like we’ve given our neighbors many chances to step up with his care.

My partner and I are moving out of our current house in a few days so we feel as if it’s now or never. His timing for coming back into our lives is immaculate. So would we be in the wrong if we took him in?”

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Raynoid 5 months ago
NTJ. Take him & give him the happy home he deserves! I once took my downstairs neighbors cat cause they were keeping her in a small cage OUTSIDE at night, in winter. Straight up, hopped the fence to their deck & snatched her! The following day I hear a knock, open the door to the 7 & 10 YO kids, complete with hand drawn flyer asking if I had seen their cat. I looked at those heartbroken children & LIED MY A** OFF!!! 'No, I haven't seen it, good luck though, shut the door & picked her up for cuddles!! My Vet took her & she lived a fat, happy life!! Feel no guilt, take him to the vet ASAP as having bills for said cat, proves ownership!!
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6. AITJ For Telling My Friend I Don't Want Her Partner At My Wedding?

“I’m supposed to be getting married in early October 2022. It’s not gonna be a big wedding or anything, but me and my fiance both have friends that we don’t want to leave out.

I have this friend (Amanda).

We have known each other since high school, and we aren’t incredibly close by any means but we are still somewhat good friends and hang out regularly and I would like her to be there. The problem is, I just recently found out who she is now going out with and she wants to bring him as her plus one.

My sister (Lily) and her ex (Steve) broke up about 10 months ago because she found out he was having an affair. She was heartbroken, and I know along with that pain she still has a lot of resentment for him and doesn’t even like hearing his name. He was a crappy partner so my family has no problem with him no longer being in our lives.

8 months ago, Amanda told me she had started talking to someone and she really liked him and everything. She wouldn’t tell me who, not even his name, because she said she didn’t wanna share anything about him till it got more serious. I didn’t really understand the secrecy, but didn’t force her to tell me anything and just let her know I was happy for her and hope it all worked out.

Well last week, she told me she was with Steve. They had gotten more serious and she wanted to make their relationship public to the people they care about. She also said she knew how much I disliked him and what he had done to my sister, and hoped I would try to understand their love and be happy for her and try to see him in a different light.

I was a little shocked at first since I really didn’t expect her to be with a guy like him, and she knew what kind of person and partner he was. But it isn’t my place, and I told her that I’m happy she was happy, and that was that. Well two days later, we are texting about the wedding and everything and she mentions Steve being her plus one.

I do not want him there. Not only because I know my sister, who’s my maid of honor, doesn’t want him there, but also because I don’t like him and neither does my fiance.

I immediately told her that Steve was not invited to the wedding. She was confused, and I explained to her that I was sorry, and I’m happy for her, but I didn’t want him there.

At first, she thought it was just because my sister would be, and kept saying that they wouldn’t even be near each other and it would be fine. But then I explained that with everything that happened, we didn’t want him there. I said sorry again, but she kept saying how I don’t want her to be happy, how I just want to live in the past, how I want to punish her for finding love, and stuff like that.

None of that is true, and I tried to tell her that but she stopped responding.

So now I’m left feeling like a complete jerk and I don’t know if I should just let Steve come or not.”

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DeniseSB 5 months ago
Amanda KNEW that you wouldn’t want Steve at your wedding; that’s why she hid his identity as long as she did. It sounds like she’ll decide not to attend the wedding if she’s not allowed to bring the loser. Too bad, but that does not make you the jerk. Her life, her choice.
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5. AITJ For Being Disappointed About Not Meeting My Significant Other's Family?

My significant other and I have been together for 3 years and I hadn’t yet met her family. It was something important for me to do.

(I’m a straight man and she’s bi.)

She’d met mine a number of times and it was important to me to meet her family. I felt like she kept putting it off, saying they were too far away, it was too expensive, etc.

Finally this year she and I planned a holiday visit. We booked an Airbnb in their area because she said their house was too small to host us in addition to all their other holiday guests and we were going to come over for Christmas dinner.

So a week before Christmas my SO cancelled the Airbnb and only then she told me that she’d had an argument with her family days before.

She and her dad had a Zoom call and apparently, her dad said that her haircut looked gay. And could she style it more conservatively for the holidays with the extended family?

(Her hair is shaved on both sides, but if she parts it in the middle the shaved sides are concealed)

She decided on her own to call off Christmas for that reason because she is bi and felt very offended her dad had been homophobic and also her mom sat there not saying anything.

I asked what she was going to do next and she said she was gonna have to have a talk with him and her mom but she was sure they’d work it out.

I asked why she didn’t talk to me before canceling the Airbnb and she said that we ‘obviously’ weren’t coming around homophobia.

I feel kinda hurt because, while her dad said something trashy, I feel like it was too severe to decide not to go immediately on her own. Especially when she knew I was wanting to meet her family and it was important to me.

I feel like it would be different if she didn’t want to work it out and actually wanted to distance herself permanently, like then I wouldn’t feel like she’s keeping her family in her life but I’ve never met them.

But when she’s back to FaceTiming them all the time

She said that it was a ‘privilege for her parents to be able to meet her partner’ and that they would have to earn that, by treating her with respect, before they got to be a part of that.

Which I feel like was missing the point of why I’m upset; she’s talking about them wanting to meet me but I’m upset because I wanted to meet them

I told her that it feels like she doesn’t see our relationship as serious and she said that I was totally missing the point, this ‘wasn’t about me’.

And she got really upset with me saying that I seemed ‘too okay with homophobia’ and she didn’t like how I was acting like it was even an option to go to family Christmas after what her dad had asked of her

AITJ for being disappointed in not meeting my SO’s family?”

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anma7 5 months ago
ESH... her for making the decision without talking to you first, you for making about you meeting them. Sh3 knows them better than. You do and obviously knows that they are going to be like this all the time and would rather you didn't get put in the middle of that on your first meeting
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4. AITJ For Thinking My Wife Is Lazy And Bossy?

“My wife and I have a 5-month-old baby and for the most part, he’s a good little baby. We both went back to work at the beginning of the year and have a nanny part-time that comes around 9 am-ish a few times a week.

I will preface this by saying my wife is a workhorse and amazing. She kicks butt at work, is a fantastic mom, and thinks about things in ways I do not. She is funny, beautiful, and extremely driven.

Situation: My wife takes on night duty for the baby and we still have the baby in our bedroom.

I woke up around 4 am (my wife was up, feeding the baby) and I was not feeling well. My stomach was upset and could not fall back asleep. I was tossing and turning in bed and worried about waking the baby after my wife put him back down so I went to the guest bedroom to sleep.

Our baby wakes up by 6 am every day so my wife gets up with him. In this case, she got up and then went to find me. She asked if I was okay if she could get me any medicine, and then said she was getting the baby up if I wanted to come back to our bed. About 10-15 minutes later I come back to our room, she was still in there with the baby.

She asks if I could say up another 15 minutes so she could take a quick shower. She explained she hadn’t taken one in two days.

This is where I may have been the jerk. I responded to her that no, I wanted to go back to bed and that I am upset that anytime I seem to be with her she asks something of me or tells me to do something.

I told her that this is what makes me not always enjoy being around her. She said okay, picked up the baby, and then shut the door.

I think she is looking for the easiest way possible to do something. She wanted to take a shower at that moment which was easiest. After I said no, she ended up taking care of the baby and then getting in the shower while he napped around 8 am and before the nanny came.

There was literally no reason to ask me to stay up longer in this situation.

I don’t have a problem being asked to do things but the issue I have is it seems that she does this all the time. For example, she’ll be in the living room with the baby, I’ll come out and she’ll ask me to take the dogs outside, feed them, take out the trash, get her water, or give her the remote.

These are super easy things that SHE can do and if I wasn’t there she would get them done. This makes me not want to come out to the living room or be around her at all.

I have brought this up to her before and things would get better but then she’d start asking again.

This essentially proves that she is completely capable of doing the things that are needed. I feel like she is just trying to be lazy and uses me the moment I step into the room with her. She still has things I asked her to do weeks ago that haven’t gotten done. I don’t enjoy spending time with her when all I hear is ‘Can you do this, do that, can you grab me that, etc.’

So AITJ?”

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anma7 5 months ago
YTJ... you don't engage like you used to hide from her and then when you come out she asks you to help her... ITS YOUR KID TOO... she wanted a shower dude... yes you weren't well but a shower!!! Come on help out more ffs... before she walks away permanently
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3. AITJ For Telling My Husband I'm Going To The Gym?

“I (27 F) have been married to my husband (34 M) for two years. We have two kids (11 m, he’s adopted, and 1 m). And he’s a super fit guy. He likes to go camping, hiking swimming, etc with our adopted son, I think that’s why he wanted to adopt a kid, to be honest.

I am not overweight or anything, but I’m not exactly in good shape. We tried to go on a family camping trip last fall but after about an hour I was just destroyed and we had to go back to the car. I hate working out, I hate being sweaty and working hard. But he was really upset with me.

He thought that I was keeping in shape during the day because I’m a stay-at-home mom, he doesn’t understand how much work a baby is. He works in IT so he spends all day sitting, not on his feet.

Now, I promised to get in better shape, so he started paying for a professional child career to come over and look after the baby for two hours a day to give me a break and signed me up for a gym.

But after a month he came home angry and told me he talked to the gym and they hadn’t seen me come in once. I told him it was a mixed gym and I’m not comfortable working out around men. I promised him I’d join Curves and actually work out, and offered him he could track my phone to prove I was going.

He already insists on tracking our older son’s phone and lets me and our son track him. But I’ve always made excuses. I just think it’s creepy and controlling.

So I drive to the gym and I think… I hate the gym. I hate working out, and I’m an adult, for Pete’s sake! So I just waited in my car.

Sometimes I wait in the café next to the gym or something. But I just haven’t gone to the gym at all for the last two months. And he keeps asking me how I’m feeling and I keep saying it’s great and I’m enjoying it. But yesterday he was waiting for me when I came home.

He asked me how the gym was and I said it was great. He asked if I have any problems and I said no. Asked me if I showered at the gym and I said yeah, then he pulled out my gym bag. He took it out of my car two days ago. He realized I never washed my gym clothes.

He’s mad and says I lied to him. I told him he kept pressuring me and it’s making me really uncomfortable. He’s been sleeping in his home office for the last week. I don’t get the big deal, I told him I’ll go to the gym for real but he says he doesn’t care anymore and walks away.”

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Ishouldntbehere2 5 months ago
ESH. It's awful of him to keep pressuring you to do something you're clearly not interested in. But you gotta grow some balls and be honest with him, coz there is literally no reason to waste 2 hours a day having a babysitter watch the kid so you can sit in the car outside the gym! I'd be mad too if I was the one paying for it.
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2. AITJ For Not Wanting To Wash The Dishes If I Didn't Use Them?

“Two years ago, my (26 M) grandfather died and I inherited his spacious 4-bedroom house. It’s a really nice home. I am in a group of friends with two couples, ‘Dan (26 M) + Darla’ (24 F) and ‘Jim (24 M) + Jennie’ (24 F). At around the same time last fall, both couples simultaneously found themselves needing somewhere to live.

I was with them as they were all planning to rent a house together. I thought about it for a while and decided to offer for them to stay with me for a year (provided we split rent and bills 5 ways) and they took me up on my offer.

I have the master bedroom upstairs, which shares a bathroom with the other upstairs bedroom (Jim and Jennie’s room) Dan and Darla took one of the two downstairs bedrooms. I’ve had a few small problems with the others but for the most part, this arrangement works for us.

I can go into further detail if necessary.

Anyway, Jennie loves to cook as well. She is teaching Darla how to cook dishes from her home country. The girls have off every Thursday and Friday, so every Thursday night they make dinner for the five of us, calling it family dinner night. This past Thursday, Jim and Jennie went to have dinner at her parent’s house, so we had family dinner on Friday.

The girls made Caprese salad, and lasagna, and prepped a tiramisu the day before for dessert. It was all really delicious. After dinner, they put the dishes in the sink to soak. We all went to bed. I had off the next day, the other four had work early.

I went into the kitchen to see the dishes still in the sink.

I was pretty mad as I didn’t want to get bugs so I messaged everyone in the group chat and told the girls next time that they needed to put their dishes in the dishwasher before work next time. Jennie eventually texted back she thought it was my turn this week. I had no idea what she was talking about.

Apparently, they set up a cleaning schedule and the four of them were taking turns doing the dishes. I told them, no. Whoever uses the pots and pans cleans them. Since I didn’t cook anything I shouldn’t have to clean the dishes. You use it, you clean it.

Anyway, this broke out in a huge argument between the five of us.

Darla and Jennie were saying ‘We did the cooking, we spent our money and made dinner for all of us, you can at least do the dishes this time’ with Dan siding with me and Jim seeing both points and trying to work out a solution. Finally, Jennie said ‘Fine, you don’t have to do the dishes, but we aren’t cooking for you on Thursdays anymore’.

Fine by me. The food was really good but they need to do their own dishes. I barely use the kitchen anyway so I know if there are dishes I’m the sink they probably aren’t mine.

I explained the situation to my family. My father and uncle side with me, but my mom and sister are calling me a jerk.

Dan also sees my side, but Jim is leaning closer to me being a jerk. AITJ here?”

-1 points (1 vote(s))
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helenh9653 4 months ago
ESH. Yes, you did them a favour providing them with a reasonably-priced home. But they're providing and cooking a meal once a week so you should take a share in cleaning up. However, they should have sorted this with you first, not just told you after the fact. I don't think doing the dishes one week in five is too high a price to pay for five home-cooked meals though.
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1. AITJ For Being Upset When My Pregnant Sister-In-Law Won't Babysit Our Kids?

” “I (33 F) have 3 kids under 4 both my husband and I work full time. We send out children to day care which is VERY expensive. My SIL (27) husband’s little sister is due to give birth to her first baby in about a month. She is very lucky her job is providing her with 6 months of maternity leave fully paid.

Here is where the conflict comes in. Since she will be home for 6 months watching her baby my husband and I were thinking we could also drop our children off. My husband’s mother is there with her most days anyway and her husband for the first 3 weeks so she has a lot of help. It would also be a nice time for all the cousins to bond and get close.

It would also save us a ton in childcare costs for 6 months and we can throw some funds into savings finally.

My husband and I visited his sister last week and brought this up to her near the end of our visit she was very quiet but said she would think about it. The next day she sent my husband a text saying that she discussed it with her husband and they decided they want that time to just bond with the baby and taking the kids would be too much.

We honestly think this is nonsense and her husband obviously talked her out of it. She has her husband and my MIL there to help her she won’t even need to bother with my kids and it’s only for 6 months. We offered to let her have 2 weeks with just the baby so they can bond and start bringing out kids after that but she declined.

My husband is more upset than I am and has been ignoring his sister since in his words if she can’t help out her family then she isn’t his family. She has called and texted my husband many times but he ignored them all and then blocked her. She is very upset about this and so is MIL she keeps telling my husband he is ruining her pregnancy and causing her stress.

He won’t back down and now my MIL is mad at me because I was the one who asked. I see my husband’s point family should help family but I wish he would just back down to make peace.

-2 points (2 vote(s))
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mappster 5 months ago
YTJ!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU BOTH? Yes, I was yelling.You want to bring your 3 children under the age of 4 to their house? Someone who will be fragile and with a new baby? You don't think your 3 children under the age of 4 won't be too much to add to their plate. Entitled, much?
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