People Want To Be Confronted About Their Interesting "Am I The Jerk" Stories

There will come a time when you will encounter someone who is so wicked and hateful that they will bring out the worst in you, no matter how kind or patient you believe you are. These people below may have been in a similar scenario and wish to talk about it so that we can help them identify the true jerks in their stories. Read on and tell us who you believe is truly at fault. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

36. AITJ For Not Caring About The Noise I am Making Anymore?

“My garage is about 3 meters away from my neighbor’s bedroom where their baby sleeps. I’ve got a roller door that beeps quietly four times within 20 seconds of me arriving home and pushing the button.

It’s so quiet that at times I can’t hear it when sitting in the room adjacent to the garage when my partner comes home.

Since my neighbor had her baby, I’ve made an effort to be more considerate of noise. Despite already soundproofing my rumpus room, I’ve stopped playing my drums after 6 pm.

I’ve also declined to host friends outside in my backyard due to noise. I think I’ve been more than considerate, but apparently not.

I get home from work at 11 p.m. and put my car in the garage. A couple of weeks ago my neighbor approached me and asked if I could wait until the morning to put my car away, but I declined as there have been break-ins to cars on our street lately.

My car is also one that is targeted by thieves a lot as parts are expensive, and it’s an enthusiast’s car. I apologized but was firm when telling her that I would not, under any circumstances, leave my car out overnight. I also know that they sleep with their window open that faces my garage, but I thought it would be weird to bring it up and suggest they close the window.

I am also confused, as I have an after-market exhaust on the car which is louder than the original but they have nothing to say about it.

A couple of nights ago I came home to her husband’s car blocking my driveway just enough that I couldn’t get my car through.

It was kind of useless because I pushed the button before I even reached my driveway, so it beeped anyway. They didn’t come out so I had their car towed and they haven’t done it since. Today (Saturday) I decided to play my drums around lunchtime in my soundproofed rumpus room.

You can only hear minimal vibration from the kick from the outside, but it’s at the rear of my property and quite far away from any neighbors but they still had something to say. The wife came over and basically said she had put up with my noise for long enough and that she was exhausted due to the kid never sleeping thanks to the noise I make.

I was definitely still miffed about the driveway-blocking situation from the other night and snapped a little, telling her that I’d been considerate enough and already made concessions in terms of noise. I said that while it’s within my right to play music up until 10 p.m. in our council, I’ve cut myself off at 6 p.m. in consideration of her and her kid.

I said that from now on she’ll have to get over it because I was done catering to her and her family.”

4 points - Liked by Fatima, Turtlelover60, LizzieTX and 1 more

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ, and mommy needs to get over herself. She can't silence the entire world to get her kid to sleep. I think you've been very accommodating, but it seems the more you accommodate, the more they push. Why don't they move the baby into a different room? Like theirs? I wonder what THEY have done to try to get baby to sleep and keep it that way?
As far as I'm concerned, you were respectful and accommodating but it was never enough. If I were you, I'd have started playing my drums again right after the dad blocked your driveway. They're the ones escalating, not you. Good luck, and stand your ground.
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35. AITJ For Driving My Partner To Work Using My Ugly Van?

“I have two vehicles:

A 2019 Mazda Miata. It’s not great in the winter when it doesn’t have snow tires on.

A 2002 Ford Transit, a really beat-up old van which I use for road trips. It’s not really #vanlife stylish, even though I camp in it.

It’s beat up and I disguised it as an electrician’s work van, complete with vinyl logos advertising my ‘business’ to avoid unwanted attention when traveling.

Anyway, my partner had a work function coming up and he asked if I could be his designated driver… Since his company culture kinda depends on heavy drinking to fit in… He wanted me to join the event for appearance’s sake.

Apparently, all his peers’ wives were joining.

The day of, it looked like snow so I decided to drive the van. I pulled up to my partner’s office. He came out and immediately asked me where the Miata was. I said it was at home because it was looking like snow.

He asked if we could stop by the apartment and get the Miata. He was already embarrassed enough to get in the van from his office where people could see. I said no, I wasn’t comfortable driving it in snow with summer tires.

He said I was really making him look bad, I should have known he was trying to make a good impression.

I said I’d park somewhere discreet.

So we headed to the bar, and it turned out the parking area was quite small, a single row across the front of the building right in front of the windows. I parked in the corner.

My partner was stressed when I opened the back of the van looking for my wallet because he thought someone inside might see the bed inside so he said he’d put everything on his card and just shut the doors.

So we went in and one of his coworkers asked if I was an electrician. I joked ‘Close, I am an electrical engineer, so like an electrician but more out of touch’.

His coworker asked me why I had an electrician’s van, and I said I’d bought it used. (This was a white lie, while it is a used van, I’d applied the logo).

His coworker asked me why I’d got a van, and I said I like road tripping and I like how it’s more compact than an RV.

This led to a little small talk about where I’ve traveled and I told them about my last cross-country trip to the West Coast.

But afterward, my partner confronted me in the van and said that it was attention-grabbing and that he was embarrassed by me talking about traveling and living in a van.

I got frustrated and said I wasn’t trying to make a scene, his coworkers asked. And that honestly if he was depending on me for rides, beggars can’t be choosers.

And I am not doing something I don’t think is safe just for appearance.

He got upset with me and said I don’t respect his career and I said that I felt like he didn’t respect mine either if he wanted me to roll up to his work events like a trophy wife for display instead of someone with their own crap going on.

AITJ for how I drove my partner to his work event?”

3 points - Liked by Fatima, Turtlelover60 and LizzieTX

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ, but your partner is. If he's that concerned about appearances, he can bloody well buy his own vehicle instead of making you be his designated driver. And the next time he asks you to drive him, tell him to go pound sand and get an Uber if the van bothers him that much. Beggars can't be choosers.
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34. AITJ For Not Coming To See My Mom After She Said She Fainted?

“My mother doesn’t like my wife. But she also didn’t like literally any of my past partners (any. of. them). She would judge their looks hobbies intelligence etc. But then my wife came and I wasn’t having it.

We talked and after I thought everything was good.

Recently my mom would stop events I and my wife had that were just us, birthdays and anniversaries specifically. For example wife’s birthday, she fainted and fell on her hip (didn’t happen) our anniversary she accidentally ate something she was allergic to and needed to go to the hospital (didn’t happen) my birthday (when she knew me and my wife were supposed to go) out she faked being sick and said she was in the hospital (didn’t happen) ect ect.

And ‘thankfully’ my wife was understanding for quite some time and even came with me most of the time.

Now THIS year our anniversary was Monday. My mom called me saying she was in the hospital testing for an illness and said she needed me to come to the hospital. I told her no and that she needed to stop lying to get us out of having time with each other.

I hung up and we enjoyed our night.

Then the next day I got calls from my dad my sister my brother and my aunt who were all at the hospital because this time it actually happened. They told me that I was a jerk and that even if she was faking it I should’ve come because she’s our mom and her being hurt matters more than an anniversary that’s going to happen again in a year.

I am sorry but this to me is a ‘boy who cried wolf’ situation. She kept lying and lying and lying and this was the outcome.

I get that it seems trashy but this was really ‘all that’ unexpected.

AITJ for not going to my mom’s place when she told me she fainted?”

3 points - Liked by Turtlelover60, anma7 and LizzieTX

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ. Your mom created this situation by lying to you for years. Not your fault you chose not to bite the one time she's telling the truth. If she actually is, that is. I wouldn't put it past her to fake it again and make your other family members play along. If it is true, she jacked around and found out and still can't blame anyone but herself. Tell your family to mind their own business and stop enabling your mother. Enough already.
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33. AITJ For Not Helping My Sister And Her Husband?

“When I moved in with my sister years ago, she said I didn’t have to pay rent. She and her husband both agreed that I didn’t need to pay rent while living with them so I could focus on school.

When I got my first paycheck at the minimum wage part-time job I got they asked if I could chip in for rent a bit and I offered $500. That was more than half of my paycheck back then.

Every month after that, they message me ‘Rest is due’ and I was confused about why I was paying rent.

I told them that I could pay only $300 for rent. I took it into consideration that they were paying more than I was so I offered to pay for groceries and some supplies around the house like detergent.

Every month they tried to make me pay more and it led to a big argument, where my brother-in-law told me to grow up and my sister said life isn’t free.

It made me broke and miserable living with them. I couldn’t stand it.

After I graduated college, I moved out with my partner and I got a job at the hospital that pays me very well. My partner started his moving company a while back.

It’s going very well. We were saving a lot of money and we got to afford a nice apartment for ourselves. My brother-in-law then lost his job and my sister was the only one working because he couldn’t find a job. They asked my partner and me for help and a place to stay.

I asked my partner if he would be okay with helping them out and he said no. I told him what happened between us when I was living with them and he was so angry about it: said ‘How can your own family lie to you and take advantage of you?’

I didn’t like the idea of living with those two as well. He is very protective over me, but he supports whatever decision I’ll make. I decided that I wasn’t going to help them because of what I’d been through with them.

Because of that, I was getting backlash from relatives on social media saying that I was selfish and greedy and how I could do that to my own blood. Little did they know that they both did it to me first. I had a grudge over it because it made me miserable and dreaded going back to that apartment.

I told them to find a cheaper apartment and stop spending their money on useless things. I also told them that life isn’t free and that they need to grow up. My sister cried and my brother-in-law turned most of my side of the family against me, but I didn’t really care since they don’t know the full story and I don’t plan to clear my name anyway, I wasn’t close to most of them.

So AITJ for not helping my sister out?”

3 points - Liked by Turtlelover60, anma7 and LizzieTX

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ at all. Both sister and BIL treated you very shabbily while you lived with them, and now they're crying to you because they're having financial problems? I think your response with "Life isn't free and you need to grow up" was perfect. You don't owe them a dime. Oh, and tell any of your family members who have a problem with your decision to feel free to have sister and BIL move in with them for free; that usually shuts down the busybodys. Sorry you're having to deal with this.
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32. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be A Part Of My Stepdaughter's Wedding?

“I (50 f) married my husband (64 M) 20 years ago. When I married him I was well aware he had a daughter (Emma) who was 8 years old from his old marriage and once I married him and moved in with him, treated her as if she were mine.

My husband had full custody of Emma because his ex-wife was dealing with mental issues. But when Emma turned 20 his ex-wife reached out to him and explained to him that she had gotten past her issues and from what I knew she’d changed herself for the better.

Once my husband trusted his ex-wife enough he asked Emma if she felt comfortable having her mother in her life again and long story short Emma decided to rebuild her relationship with her mother. My husband and I believed she was old enough to make her own decisions so we were okay with it.

But after Emma rebuilt her relationship with her mother I noticed she was treating me more as a step-mother. She went from calling me mom to calling me Monica (my real name) and started becoming more distant towards me. At first, I was a little hurt by this because I did consider her my daughter but I slowly got over it since technically I wasn’t her blood-related mother and I learned to accept that.

Fast forward a bit I have two kids with my husband and Emma was a big part of their lives since she still lived with us while they were growing up. She had a good relationship with them as well as my husband but things between me and her never really went back to normal so I started to see her more as my step-daughter and we tried keeping a relationship for the sake of my kids.

So yesterday she revealed to us that she was engaged to her partner of 10 years and how she was already planning the wedding and of course we all congratulated her. But then she started talking about who she was going to invite to the wedding and she brought up me, my husband, my two kids, and her mom (husbands ex-wife).

She then continued on saying how she was going to sit me, my husband, my ex-wife, and my kids and the same table. I felt a bit uncomfortable with this idea because I knew I was going to feel out of place at the wedding since the only people I would know would be her, my husband, and my kids, and my husband’s would be distracted most of the time taking family pictures with his ex.

(Only her fiancé’s family and my husband’s ex-wife’s parents would be at the wedding since my husband’s family all live in a different country). I explained to Emma how I was uncomfortable with the whole thing and did not want to be a part of the wedding.

She went completely mad at me and started screaming about how I should be there because I am her dad’s wife and it’s not like her mom was still in love with him.

She hasn’t spoken to me since but she still talks to my husband about how she wants me to go.

My husband keeps telling me how I am being unfair and that she’s my kid too. I might be the jerk but I am not totally sure so I am coming to you for help. AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by Turtlelover60 and anma7

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anma7 5 months ago
YTJ.... i sat at my sons wedding 4yrs ago at table No1.. with my dad, my 2 younger sons, my EX MILaka son1s grandma, her hubby who i had never met until that day, my ex sil sons paternal aunt, my EX HUBBY aka sons dad, sons SM aka my exes 2nd wife, and liam aka exs son aka my sons younger half brother.... its 1 day out of your life.... you have been married to hubby for 20YRS... had kids with him, your SD the BRIDE wants you there on her special day....
Go and don't burn bridges or your marriage... like I say it's 1 day and as a parent we would do anything to make our kids happy
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31. AITJ For Telling My Friend About What Type Of Person He's Seeing?

“About 8 months ago, I (M 27) was hanging out with some friends, and one of them (Jen) had brought along a friend I hadn’t met before, Sarah. Sarah and I chatted a bit and she seemed nice enough, and the next day I got a text from her saying she got my number from Jen and asking if I wanted to get dinner sometime.

I wasn’t really interested so I told her I was busy. She asked again hinting that it would be very nice to spend time after dinner, this time I said sorry I am not interested in a date. After this, she sent a few very explicit pictures asking ‘Still not interested?’ after which I ghosted her.

The problem comes from what happened a couple of days ago. I was hanging out with friends again. Sarah wasn’t there (I had only met her the one time) but Jen was, and so was a college buddy of mine (Mike) I hadn’t seen in a while.

At one point Sarah’s friend turned to Mike and asked how things were going with Sarah. He said things were good and they were going to have their 6 month anniversary next week. I asked if this was the same Sarah to whom Jen gave my number and Jen said yes, and then I told Mike, ‘Bro you know she sent me her private pics.’ Jen and Mike didn’t believe me so I pulled out my phone and scrolled back through my messages and passed my phone around so nobody thought I was lying, and also so they knew they were unsolicited. Jen looked shocked and Mike just went really quiet and got up to leave after a few minutes.

When Mike was leaving I caught up with him and apologized for bringing the topic up like that because, let’s be honest, it wasn’t very tactful. Mike said he just didn’t know what to think right now. I apologized again and told him at least now he knows what type of person he’s seeing, if she sent them to me then who knows who else she sent them to?

The next day I got a barrage of texts from Jen and Sarah. Apparently, Mike broke up with Sarah. Jen told me I shouldn’t have said anything to Mike because it all happened before they met. Sarah accused me of violating her privacy by showing her pictures to other people.

I told Jen that Mike deserved to know and I told Sarah that those pictures were not sent with any expectation of privacy and she knew that too which is why she hadn’t told Mike.

Sarah seems to have blocked me but Jen keeps insisting that I did a jerk thing, so AITJ?


1. Why did I keep the pics? I don’t delete messages I receive from other people. I didn’t specifically store those pictures for ‘future use’.

2. Why did I ruin a 6-month relationship if this happened before they met? I told Mike the truth and let him make the decision.

If he had wanted to stay with her, I have no problem with it. He knows it happened before they met.”

2 points - Liked by Turtlelover60 and anma7

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
ESH. Sarah because she came on like a bulldozer trying to get with you, and did something incredibly indiscreet, not to mention a turn off for you, and you because you didn't HAVE to tell Mike, but you made sure he knew. I'm not sure you're the jerk for doing that, because if I were you, I'd want my friend to know too. But Sarah dug her own grave by sending out the pictures she did. I have no idea what possesses some women, that they'd do that to a man they're not successful with? Like that's going to change the man's mind in their favor? What a basket of yuck Sarah is, and with no self respect. Tell Jen to MHOB, and that if she thinks Sarah is a good person to spend time with, you're going to start questioning her judgment too. Slutbunny Sarah is the real jerk here.
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30. AITJ For Letting Our New Foster Children Decorate Their Rooms?

“I was born in the country I live in, but my parents were immigrants. Because of this, I grew up speaking two languages and my heritage has always been very important to me.

We always tried to take the kids to my parents’ country once a year when they were growing up. I have a friend who is a social worker and because of my ‘empty nest’ I have had a few foster children spend a night or two here in an emergency.

However, my husband and I were suckers, so when my friend told us about a pair of siblings struggling with a language barrier who were also the children of immigrants from my country, we offered to have them here. As they are a brother and sister, it would be inappropriate to make them share a room, so while the boy took the room that was previously our guest room, we gave the girl my daughter’s old room.

My husband and I have three adult, biological children. Our youngest still spends the summer with us when he is not at university but the other two moved out over a decade ago. However, when they did move out, my husband and I promised not to change their rooms at all and that they would always be theirs.

Obviously, due to recent circumstances, this changed.

We allowed our new foster children to style their rooms how they wanted and we had fun painting, but when my daughter found out, she was furious. She is upset we broke our promise to her and didn’t ‘consult’ her first. It is true that she and her husband stay in that room whenever they visit, but they haven’t stayed overnight in years and we thought she wouldn’t mind.

Obviously, she and her husband think we are jerks, but so do my son and my mother, although she has never been keen on us fostering anyway. AITJ?”

2 points - Liked by Turtlelover60 and LizzieTX

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ. Yes you broke a promise to an adult child, but it's not the end of the world. Your kids aren't kids anymore, and you've chosen to help out some chronological kids who need a home with someone who understands them. Your children are being incredibly selfish, and you need to tell them that and to knock off the whining. It's your home, they are still welcome to visit, but any more selfish behaviour on their part and they won't be. What a couple of entitled jerks you raised.
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29. AITJ For Not Letting My Sister Borrow Our Mom's Wedding Dress?

“Mom’s not in the picture, she didn’t abandon us, she didn’t die, just not in the picture.

She’s sick and please don’t ask what happened to her because I will not respond.

My (20 F) sister (24 F) is getting married in a year or so. Our mom got married with the most beautiful dress I’ve ever seen. It is much alike Lily Collins’s wedding gown with the veil cape and everything, but our mom’s had crocheted butterflies and flowers in different colors all over the dress.

It starts like this normal wedding gown and ends up being quite floral and colorful.

Mom always wanted us to wear the dress, but my sister (who spent all of her teen years in her emo phase) hated it. She, very vocally, trashed the dress.

That it was ugly, that if she ever got married she would want a black or red wedding dress, that she doesn’t want to wear a second-hand one, and things like that. Mom tried to offer it a few times and she always said no. For my quinceañera, my mom asked her for the last time if she wanted the dress and got rejected. So my mom gave it to me as part of the few gifts I got that day.

In all senses, the dress is mine. And now that Mom is not around anymore, it is my most precious piece. I do want to get married someday, but right now I am super single and I don’t think it’ll happen soon.

A week ago, my sister came with her fiancé and said she wanted to talk.

She was very blunt and asked for the dress. I was taken aback because she got it offered a bunch of times and she said that, while the dress wasn’t her favorite piece still, it was something our mom wore and loved and she wanted to wear it to have her there with her, so the dress can be the ‘something borrowed’ since I’ll be getting it back.

I said absolutely not, that she had her chances and she could pick something else from mom because the dress is mine and I want to be the first to get married in it. If she wears it now, then when my time comes it won’t be ‘mom’s dress’ anymore, it’ll be ‘(my sister’s) dress’ and I don’t want that.

She went absolutely ballistic, saying that the dress was hers because she was the oldest and that I have to suck it up, that I better give it up or else I’ll be uninvited. Dad’s on my side because he saw how badly she rejected our mom, but everyone else is pretty much on her side.”

2 points - Liked by Turtlelover60 and LizzieTX

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ, and everyone else can go pound sand. That dress was offered to your sister on several occasions and she turned it down, so it became yours. Now she's changed her mind? How unfortunate for her. It's YOUR dress, and you don't have to give it to her. Glad your dad is backing you up, but don't trust bridezilla sister as far as you can throw her. It might be a good idea to have Dad take charge of the dress and put it someplace bridezilla can't get to it, because she sounds like she won't take no for an answer and would steal it from you if she could. Good luck.
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28. AITJ For Not Liking My Son's Partner?

“My (60 F) son (25 m) has been with his partner K (27 F) for over a year. He has never brought her around us or invited her to family events despite my urging him to do so several times (esp the 1st 6 months). I have asked him if he had concerns about my behavior, his brother’s (26 M), the house, the food, etc. He denies it is any of this, just that he enjoys his time alone with her.

They go on one long date a week, usually for 7-8 hours. I think she has a curfew while living with her parents because he’s almost always home by 11 p.m. on their date nights. She had an apartment for the first 6 months they dated and he was always home by then too.

Pretty sure they are not active in terms of being intimate because of her religious beliefs.

I have interacted with her exactly 4 times in the last year. For about 15 minutes each time. In each interaction, she has put him down by calling him ‘moron’ or ‘idiot.’ I didn’t say anything, but I have no poker face, so it’s possible he saw how I reacted despite trying to hide it.

It certainly didn’t feel like affectionate teasing, and there was no caress or smile between them. I don’t understand their relationship but it’s not mine so I don’t have to.

Now, out of the blue he wants to get us all together… and I don’t want to.

I’ve heard about selfish things she’s done, seen her turn away when he tries to kiss her, and heard the putdowns. It’s been over a year, and I am just worn down from his decision to not include her in anything (early on) and keeping my mouth shut since then.

He’s asked me why I no longer chat with him about their dates and I just say he deserves his privacy and he can tell me about them if he wants.

I don’t know if I am acting out of hurt (he knows I think it’s rude that she comes here and doesn’t come in the house or say hi when she does like his friends do).

He also knows I would never be rude to someone in my house, nor her in any situation. But man, I just don’t know if I can keep my mouth shut if she puts him down in front of me again, so I don’t want to risk it at this point.


2 points - Liked by Turtlelover60 and LizzieTX

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ. Your son doesn't seem to notice how badly his SO is treating him, or doesn't care. If she's not a nice person, doesn't treat your son well and makes you uncomfortable, there is no reason on earth for you to spend time with her.
In your shoes, I would be perfectly honest with your son. Tell him you don't like her, not only because of the way she treats him, but that she's difficult to talk to and makes you uncomfortable. And see what he says. But no, don't have her in your home, and don't see him when he's seeing her. Maybe he'll get the hint when he knows how she affects your family members. Good luck.
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27. AITJ For Trying To Teach My Daughter About Financial Responsibility?

“My daughter is heading off to college this year. I and my wife both decided years ago that if/when she went to college, we did not want her working to support herself. Well, now that time has come and we’ve been working on ways to make sure she can fully focus on her education.

I and my wife budgeted out a monthly allowance for her, along with her tuition payments. A big part of this is that I want to also teach her to budget out her money and figure out how to handle her own purchasing. While she was still going to live at home while she went to school home, and it was made clear she could still eat with us and use some of our stuff, we expected her to start buying her own necessities and prepare her food (we also cut back on our grocery bill to an appropriate amount to only cover I, my wife, and our other child.)

We decided this would take effect in June and made sure for months that she would be ready for it (we taught her how to balance a checkbook, income vs. expenses, the basics of cooking, etc.) To say the first month was a disaster is an understatement.

Within only eleven days, she had blown through her entire monthly allowance. This was not an insignificant amount either. We gave her 1000$, and she blew through it in 11 days. She does not pay any rent, utilities, health insurance, etc. She had no clue how she blew through that much money, but I figured it out incredibly quickly.

She spent $500 alone eating out, $300 at Walmart on who knows what, and the rest on gas somehow (again, in a car she does not pay for at all.)

She then asked if it would be possible to increase the amount of money she was being given.

I lost it. I held nothing back and told her there was no way this was going to happen again. The experiment was over and there was no way I was going to give her a single cent of unsupervised money. We spent months teaching her.

And I mean literally every weekend I was teaching her how to be a responsible adult. I told her that I was the most disappointed in her I have ever been at that moment, and she knows I feel I have failed as a parent.

We are not rich, and never have been, $500 out of every one of my paychecks is a very, very noticeable amount.

I’ve been monitoring her like a hawk ever since. I give her no more than 20$ cash and if she ever wants to use her card she needs to tell me the exact amount so I can transfer it over.

This has not been easy and has caused strain on our relationship. I just tell her now she can get a job if she wants because then at least it’s her own money.

Now though, I am getting backlash from extended family who have learned what’s going on.

My wife is in firm agreement but now I am second-guessing myself.

Edit: The amount of money I gave her is rightfully being looked at. It was way too much, and I think I realized that probably soon after she spent it all. My budgeting, in my mind, was $300 for groceries, $200 for other essential purchases, $200 for gas, and $300 for school-related purchases/surplus money.

I overshot, but didn’t care because I thought whatever she had left over could go into savings and she could have a good chunk of savings just in case.”

2 points - Liked by Turtlelover60 and anma7

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ, and I don't know how you could have handled things differently. Your daughter clearly didn't pay enough attention to your lessons on budgeting and cooking. Or, she didn't believe you'd really relegate her to the agreement you made and thought she could just blow whatever money she liked and then get more from you. No jerks here. Your wife and you are the only people who have a say in how your daughter is raised, and what your household rules are. Tell any busybody obnoxious enough to comment on your situation to shut up and mind their own business. Lord, but I hate a busybody. Good luck!
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26. AITJ For Not Being Happy With My Brother's Wedding Gift?

“My brother and I have a good relationship and he’s not struggling financially.

When my brother married I spent $200 on a suit/shoes to be in it and gave $300 as a gift.

As our wedding neared, my brother said he couldn’t make it because of work. I understand the importance of work (I wrote his cover letter/resume to help him get a good job and pension) so I said I’d be sad not to have him but I understand.

Our parents have passed, and my now-wife and I were having a small wedding and his family (my brother, his wife, and four kids) were the only guests on my side so I was heartbroken he wouldn’t attend, but I tried not to be difficult.

I just asked if he might consider mentioning his brothers’ wedding and asking if they’d consider switching his shift, but if not, he understood and would be available to work.

He didn’t want to ask so I didn’t press and said I understood, but it hurt he didn’t even care enough to ask.

Neither he nor his wife asked questions about the wedding leading up to it either but maybe not everyone considers that important to show you care.

Then a week before the wedding his work moved his position which changed his schedule and he was free to come.

I was emotional/happy but once he realized he was coming, he said he was happy and was going to ask for the time off anyway (it didn’t make sense as it was so close and I feel he realized he was now going and wanted credit).

On the wedding day, he brought up multiple times he asked his boss for the time off even though he’d told me otherwise.

At the wedding, we had the kids serve as flower girls/ring bearer and asked them to wear white. We were told they went to get dresses but two didn’t like any white ones so they wouldn’t be in the wedding.

We said we just cared about them being part of our day so they could get whatever colors they wanted. They showed up in new workout clothes and old sneakers. At my brother’s wedding, they wore white dresses and nice shoes so we felt a bit like they didn’t care to put effort or thought into us but we ignored it and told everyone how nice they looked.

For the reception we bought toys for the kids, gifts for their roles, and set up a scavenger hunt for fun, which cost well over $100, which was our own choice, but we wanted them to feel cared for.

After they left he texted me multiple times to make sure I didn’t forget their gift at the reception.

When we opened it, we received a $29 picture frame (along with the receipt plus a random receipt from stuff they got at La Vie en Rose).

I don’t know if I am the jerk but it really stung and brought everything else rushing back. We can’t help but feel they just don’t care or put much thought into us.

We tried to make them feel cared for and because my nephew’s birthday was coming up even sang him Happy Birthday during the reception with a cake and gift (that cost more than $29).

So, what do you think? AITJ for caring about the gifts and the events above?

Or do I have a reason to feel hurt?”

2 points - Liked by Turtlelover60 and LizzieTX

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ, and your brother is a huge one. It's like he wanted to make you uncomfortable for making him attend your wedding, which he clearly didn't want to do. But the real slap in the face was the kids in workout clothing. Who DOES that?
Cut him off. He probably won't protest, or likely even notice, but do it just the same. He doesn't deserve a place in your life.
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25. AITJ For Not Letting Our Landlord and Her Family Stay With Us ?

“I (37 M) live in a house that’s owned by my MIL. She bought this house years ago in a very expensive city that she doesn’t even live in, however, my wife (33 F) and I (obviously) do.

The house was rented out for years before we moved here, so it was never considered an option for us and we had our own apartment in a different part of the city.

Last year her tenant decided to move out and after months of coaxing us, she finally convinced us to move in and pay her rent.

When it comes to house things, she is our landlord. We have a lease. We pay her rent. We pay all of our own bills and the only ‘special rate’ we get is just paying for the mortgage and not any house taxes or HOA fees added on.

Anyways, the other day my MIL called my wife out of the blue and said she had booked flights for herself and her husband (my wife’s stepfather) plus my wife’s 2 step-siblings and they were coming to stay with us. No heads up. No nothing.

I was mad. I sent her an email and told her that when it comes to the house we are her tenants and she can’t just decide she wants to stay with us without at least asking us first. We would obviously say they could, but it’s just the audacity of the situation.

She replied back that it was her house and she could stay there whenever she wanted and I needed to stop guilt-tripping her since she already booked flights. I asked her if she ever stayed with her last tenant with or without a heads up and she just stopped responding.

She has been silent since until today she started texting my wife again about how excited she is to see us and stay with us.

Not sure what to do at this point but I want to email her back and tell her to please find other accommodations unless she properly asks us if she can stay.

So with that… AITJ?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ. As you pointed out, your mother has no more right to stay with you without notice or payment than she did with her last tenant. You have a lease, you pay her rent and your bills - unless the lease provides for her unannounced and unpaid visits, she legally CAN'T stay with you, at least according to all of the landlord tenant laws I've read. This is not a legal opinion and I am not an attorney.
I would find your copy of the lease and look it over to see if there are any provisions for unannounced, uncompensated visits from your landlord. If not, I would send your mother a copy of the lease with the relevant passages highlighted. If the lease doesn't address the issue, look up landlord/tenant laws in your area and find one applicable, and send that to her, relevant passages highlighted. I realize it's a sticky situation with being family and all, and I would strongly suggest that you start looking for another place to live. Better to avoid a nasty situation than have to deal with one.
Good luck.
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24. AITJ For Not Being Satisfied By The Eyebrow Lady's Job?

“So I’ve been wanting to get my eyebrows professionally threaded for the longest time, and after some recommendations from friends, I booked an appointment with a lady that my friend regularly goes to.

I was excited about my appointment and arrived right on time this morning, got in the chair, and relaxed, only for this woman to start making bizarre requests. She began threading my brows and then asked me to use my hands to stretch out the skin under my eyebrows so that she could thread there.

I was so confused and began asking her why I needed to do that and why they didn’t have assistance or technology in place to take care of that. I shouldn’t be doing any work. She began explaining to me that it’s a ‘standard practice’ when getting your eyebrows done but even if it’s standard, I find it absolutely ridiculous that I need to be doing anything at all.

I told her to figure it out herself or get someone else working there to do it. I told her straight to her face, ‘I already have a full-time job, I am not about to start taking up your work part-time.’ And I meant it.

She then continued with the service without saying anything or requesting more services from me.

She brought up the mirror after she was done and my eyebrows looked completely ridiculous and poorly done. I told her that I was not paying and she told me that she could not get it as precise as I wanted due to me refusing to cooperate.

I started getting really angry and called her out and began to walk out the door but they then called the cops.

I just ended up paying because I didn’t want drama but I came back home and wrote a nasty review.

My friend who referred me called me and yelled at me because apparently the eyebrow lady called her and told her about the situation (which is very unprofessional, in my opinion).

She told me I am a jerk and embarrassed her and that she’s never referring me to anything again, and hasn’t been talking to me since.


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LizzieTX 5 months ago (Edited)
Sounds like you were pretty rude. There are ways of asking questions about a technique without being snotty about it. You clearly haven't learned that skill. That doesn't give the technician the right to ruin your brows, but I wonder if they were really ruined or if you are just a brat. Sounds like the latter.
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23. AITJ For Talking To My Friend About My Crush?

“I’ve (20 F) been working a warehouse job for a few months now. I have this friend, who we’ll call ‘Manny’.

Manny and I have been friends since a few weeks after I started. He’s a cool guy and I thought he was my friend.

To be honest, I don’t know how old Manny is but I know he’s definitely older than me.

Yesterday, I said goodbye to one of my friends who was leaving to go to university and we were waiting with him. I noticed Manny checking me out which made me really uncomfortable for the main reason that I am kind of insecure about my body, being harassed and stared at by guys already since I naturally have a big bust which draws attention.

(Usually I wear jumpers but yesterday I wore a tight turtleneck because my jumpers are being washed).

But yeah, I noticed him checking me out but didn’t say anything. I had my suspicions from a while ago that he was starting to move to me as if he liked me but let me point out that 1.

He is married and 2. His wife literally just gave birth to their son a few weeks ago.

When we were walking out of work after saying goodbye to my other friend, he put his arm around me, asking if I was cold and I said no, to play it off cause him hugging me made me uncomfortable.

I started to give him a hint by talking about my crush and he acted heartbroken then I outright said to him ‘You’re literally married and plus guys like you aren’t even my type so you never had a chance’.

He’s barely spoken to me today and has had a sad look on his face for the whole day and I feel like I might’ve been harsh but he’s married. I am not going to be with a man who’s taken let alone married (not even able to be faithful to his own wife).

It hurts because now I just feel like he was friends with me for the sole purpose of ‘trying to hit’ which is why he’s acting like this. I also feel like he felt he was entitled to me a little or something because he was acting super sad and upset when I was talking about my crush, saying ‘Ah you’re breaking my heart, why do you have to talk about that around me?’.

It confused me because I am not even into him and haven’t given any hints that I am into him so why is he upset about me talking about my crush?

I ended up being pretty harsh also because I despise unfaithful men, especially ones who have affairs when their wives are either with child or have just had their child.

So, long story short, was I too harsh on him or not?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
ESH. You were a little brusque with Manny, but then he had no business putting his hands on you, friend or no friend. The fact that he did it after his wife has just given birth makes it extra creepy, so I don't really blame you for calling him out on it. In future, just keep your distance from him, and be polite, but that's all. Maybe y'all can return to being friendly with a little time and distance.
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22. AITJ For Reporting My Sleeping Coworker?

“I (30 F) reported my (28 F) coworker yesterday for sleeping at work. We work the 3rd shift, and she also works part of the 1st shift, in a residential facility for youth that have intellectual disabilities, autism, down syndrome, and things like that. If it was just once or twice I would understand as we all get tired and she is a single parent.

However, she keeps falling asleep.

I stopped waking her up after the first couple of times and just started reporting her for sleeping. I’ve only reported her one other time for sleeping. She somehow found out that I reported her for sleeping this most recent time and confronted me about it.

I am not sure how she found out as I only told a supervisor in private and the supervisor had not talked to her about it yet. She ended up crying as she ranted, accusing me of harassing her and several other things and then left before the shift was even half over leaving us even more short-staffed. If we didn’t work in the environment that we do I probably wouldn’t have reported her but we have a handful of clients who have seizure disorders and falling asleep puts them in danger.

We also have clients who will sneak into other clients’ rooms to take things or attack them, we’ve even had clients who tried to burn the building down by sticking items in an electrical outlet. If anything had happened it would have been on her.

I don’t feel as if I was harassing her and if I was then it wasn’t my intention. I also don’t want her to be fired, just held responsible for her actions. I don’t know if she’ll be at work tonight or what will happen due to her walking out mid-shift. I know she has some personal issues going on and she’s likely stressed from that but we don’t work in an environment where we can get away with falling asleep.

I don’t feel like I am the jerk. Am I?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ. It wouldn't be as serious an offense if you both didn't work in a client intensive environment, but you do, and her behaviour is endangering the people she's supposed to be caring for. It's not a good thing to sleep on ANY job, but doing it on this job isn't like snoozing in the corner of a warehouse; the contents of the warehouse aren't going to be finding new and inventive ways to injure or kill themselves. And I wonder, since she's a single mother, how much parenting her child gets, if mom is falling asleep at work. When DOES this woman sleep? I understand she's probably pulling as many hours as she can for finances, but when it compromises the safety of the people she's caring about, both the patients and her child, she needs to make other arrangements. Good luck. Sounds like a tough situation for everyone involved.
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21. AITJ For Teaching My Daughter About How Babies Are Born?

“I (30 female) have a daughter named Lizzy (5) who is very curious and loves to ask questions. My husband Jack (36) and I always agreed to be completely honest with Lizzy.

Jack’s sister is pregnant and her baby shower was this weekend.

While we were shopping for a baby shower gift Lizzy asked if the baby was in the mommy’s belly and I said yes. I saw her face start becoming curious and I knew the questions would come.

When we got in the car she asked where babies came from. I gave her an honest answer that was appropriate for her age.

‘When a mommy and daddy are ready to have a baby the baby grows inside the mommy’s belly and then the baby comes out of the mommy’s belly like an operation or comes out of the mommy’s private parts.’

The conversation ended after a couple more questions and she said she understood. We talked about other ways people had a family like adoption and sometimes people need help from doctors to get pregnant. How some kids have two moms or two dads and how some kids have one mom and one dad or stepparents.

She was very interested.

After buying the gift we went to the baby shower. Lizzy’s grandmother was telling all the kids how babies are a gift from god and how the mommy and daddy get the baby as a present. Lizzy took this opportunity to tell her grandmother she was wrong and where babies come from in front of her cousins and different ways to make a family.

My mother-in-law wasn’t happy with me and neither were several aunts and uncles. They said it was inappropriate and that her cousins didn’t need to hear that. They started telling me I am a bad mother for telling her too much and taking away her innocence.

I said back that maybe if they didn’t lie to their kids it wouldn’t be such a big deal. A lot of my husband’s family isn’t speaking to me now over it.

My husband doesn’t see the problem and says he’d rather her hear it from us than friends.


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MadameZ 5 months ago
NTJ at all but they are. You answered your kid's questions in a truthful, age-appropriate way. People who tell kids ludicrous nonsense about birth (and death) do those kids harm and expose them to risks. 'Innocence', when it means ignorance, is something to be 'lost' as soon as possible because knowledge is power.
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20. AITJ For Not Looking After My Little Sister?

“My (15 f) little sister (1f) has autism and hypotonia so she cannot crawl, walk, or speak yet. She is also unable to sit up properly for extended periods of time. She has been in the hospital two times after her birth and has also had two surgeries.

Despite all of this she is a lively and adorable baby and I love her very much.

The other day I was upstairs in my room doing some homework and playing a game or two, nothing relatively important, until I heard a very loud thump and then crying.

I ran downstairs and it turned out she had fallen off of the couch while she was sleeping. My mom was very upset since she had a head injury before that could’ve killed her and we were supposed to be very fragile with her. My little brother was sitting in the living room with her when she fell but wasn’t paying attention because he was on his tablet.

My mom immediately blamed me and stated that this could have been prevented if I was downstairs and that all I think about is myself and that I didn’t care about my sister.

This made me upset so I kind of argued with her. I said she should have been on her mat instead of the couch and that my brother and her were downstairs so I thought she would be okay.

She told me that she was cooking and that I should have been downstairs regardless and I shouldn’t have been cooped up in my room. I honestly don’t see the reason why she was cooking instead of watching her child in the first place because we have plenty of food in the fridge like way too much and I already cleaned the house before I went upstairs.

I think this was her fault along with my brother’s because he was seriously right there and could have prevented the fall, but I am starting to feel really bad about it. I feel like if I had been there this would have never happened, so AITJ?

Edit: She didn’t explicitly ask me to watch my sister and my dad knows the situation but agrees with my mom.”

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Ishouldntbehere2 4 months ago
So NTJ, and the way your mother is blaming you sounds like classic narcissistic behaviour. You're not the babysitter or the parent, and you're certainly not a mind reader, it was in no way your fault or your responsibility but you mum needed someone to blame aside from herself. And dad just went along with it coz he's used to sucking it up and letting her blame the world for her problems. Please move out as soon as you can afoors it, I don't want you ended up trapped looking after your younger siblings for your adulthood like my narcissistic mother did to me.
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19. AITJ For Not Taking Responsibility For My Half-Siblings And Stepsibling?

“My (20 f) siblings are Luke (18 m), Emmie (11 f) and Sienna (9 f). My dad remarried after my mom died and he has stepkids Jesse (10 m) and Lily (9 f).

He and his second wife also had a child together who is now 4. In the last few months, a lot of complaints have been coming from my dad’s house. I had reported him to CPS because Emmie and Sienna were telling me about Dad and his wife drinking a lot, them not having food in the house, etc. CPS attempted to help them but after three months of their intervention, my dad and his wife took off and left the kids in the house alone.

I got a call about two months ago that the kids were considered abandoned and needed a home. I, along with some relatives on both my maternal and paternal sides of the family, agreed it was better for the girls to live with me. Part of this was due to the fact dad cut them all off after mom died so they had not seen them since they were tiny and didn’t really remember them.

Luke also moved in to help out. So I dropped out of school and got a full-time job. Luke was already registered for an apprenticeship that starts soon so he was going to try and work part-time as well.

The other three kids I do not have an ongoing relationship with and even though one is related through my dad, I never considered them a sibling.

Their mom’s family passed on taking them and so they entered the foster system while my sisters came to live with me. Despite passing on taking them their mom’s family has relentlessly come after me for abandoning them and not treating them like equal siblings/family.

I have been told those three kids miss us, that they saw us as siblings/family and they have nobody now. I pointed out they were all free to step up and take them and was met with silence.

I guess this is where I admit that during this whole thing, and after blocking them numerous times but they have created new accounts and found other means of reaching me, part of me has wondered if I am a crappy person for not caring about them, especially the youngest who is my half-sibling.

I know they’re innocent kids and didn’t ask for any of this more than we did.

Luke also had to block them because once they realized he moved in with me to help with our sisters, they decided he was a jerk too.


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LizzieTX 5 months ago
Absolutely not a jerk. Your step siblings' family needs to step up as you have, or shut up. And bless you for taking care of your family. You and your brother are amazing people. Gods bless you all.
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18. AITJ For Telling My Cousin It's Not My Fault She's A Drop-Out?

“So I (19 f) am a professional drummer. I have been playing the drums for about 10 years and I’ve been playing in my band for roughly 3 years now.

Recently our band has been starting to grow in popularity, which is why my parents bought me new, professional drums. With professional I mean over $5000. They have always been very supportive of me and my career. While I do attend university, my band is still my biggest priority.

My cousin (27 f) who I’ll call Amy has always been a bit jealous of me and my success.

For context, Amy never graduated high school and she dropped out when she was 16 to live with her, at the time, significant other across the country. We live in a fairly small country so she was still only 2 hours away from us.

Because of that, she was never able to get a proper job and currently works as a room cleaner on a minimum wage.

I always put a lot of effort into my education, graduated at the top of my class, and got into my dream university with a fully covered tuition.

I am currently in my 2nd year of university (astrophysics). I work part-time as a waitress at a local coffee shop, all while still managing to stay at the top of my classes and practicing with the band.

Last week at a family reunion my dad mentioned that he and my mom are buying me a new $ 5,000 drum set since the band has been getting a lot of attention in recent months.

Everyone in the family was very happy for me, except Amy.

The reunion was coming to an end when Amy said she wanted to talk to me in private. I went to another room with her, where she went off on me calling me a gold digger, an attention-seeking jerk, and a talentless flirt.

I told her it was not my fault she dropped out and to mind her own business.

I left soon after, and when I got to my apartment I immediately called my parents and some friends and told them what happened. They say I was right to shut her up and put her in her place.

The next day I started getting a lot of angry texts and calls from the rest of my family, telling me what an awful person I am for making Amy upset. A few of my aunts have been calling me a jerk for speaking to my cousin like that, although I really don’t think I was in the wrong there.

I don’t feel like the jerk, but I’d like some anonymous opinions on the situation.

So AITJ for telling my cousin to mind her own business?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
No jerks here but Amy and the fools who believed the lies she surely told them. Her jealousy doesn't make you a bad person; that's on her. Just ignore/block her and them and go on about your business.
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17. AITJ For Being Upset At Our Dog Walker For Not Letting Our Neighbor's Dog Out Of The Crate?

“We recently moved to a new area and have a new dog walker who we like, and my dog loves.

On Sunday night our old neighbor asked us if we could watch her dog for the week because she wanted to take an impromptu trip. Her dog and ours have been best friends since they were puppies and we watch her all the time so we said yes immediately.

We told our walker that there would be another dog in the house on Tuesday morning but that she didn’t need to walk her, just letting her into the backyard for a wee would be fine. She said she was uncomfortable without having met the dog so we asked her if she could come over Monday night to meet her (the dog was being dropped off Monday afternoon).

She agreed but never showed. She texted us Monday night asking us to crate the neighbor’s dog because she wasn’t sure if the dog would like her. We understood her position and we crated her, but we warned her that it would likely stress both dogs out since they would want to be together.

She said she’d let us know how it went and agreed to let the neighbor’s dog out in the yard if she felt comfortable.

We leave the house at 7 a.m. The dog walker typically comes at noon. We hadn’t heard anything and texted her at 2.

She didn’t respond til 4:45 and sent a long message about how both dogs were stressed and barking and what an unsafe situation we put her in. We started to worry because at this point the neighbor’s dog had been crated all day and we have a long commute, normally home around 6.

We asked her to clarify if she had let the neighbor’s dog out, took her another hour to tell us that she hadn’t.

My husband got really upset and sent her a long text about how irresponsible it was not to let us know that she wasn’t able to let the dog out as soon as it happened, as we would have left work early to let her out.

He called her inhumane since the dog was in the crate for 11 hours. We rushed home and the poor thing had been holding it the whole time and limped/ran outside to pee. Poor girl.

The walker never responded to my husband’s text but made a social media post on our local buy-nothing group (where we got her contact info) about how she needed an outlet for her anger and how people in the neighborhood had abused her safety at work.

She got many many sympathetic comments and lots of comments about what a wonderful dog walker she is, and she is! Our dog loves her. Did we handle this wrong? We had no expectations of her walking the other dog and realized that we shouldn’t have put it on her last minute, but how could she not have at least let us know that she couldn’t let the dog out of her crate??

ETA: We did offer to pay her more, with our previous dog walker we paid her double to walk both dogs because our neighbor would pay us back.

Our neighbor knows we work all day and that we have a dog walker come, our previous walker would let both dogs out without issue and did so having never previously met the neighbor’s dog.

We fully and completely understood her position and being uncomfortable. We don’t care that she didn’t let the dog out, that’s fine. We would never want her to risk her safety. We’re upset that we weren’t told til the end of the day, even though this occurred around noon and we could have come home to let the poor thing out.”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ, but your dog walker sounds like an entitled little twit. If she were truly that uncomfortable about interacting with your neighbor's dog, whom she didn't even bother to meet, she should have said so up front. And bollocks to her being uncomfortable; she used that as an excuse after the fact when you asked if she'd let the dog out. And that she lied and kept that information from you , for an entire day, playing the victim and making the poor dog uncomfortable? If I were you, she'd never walk my dog again. Who wants someone you cant trust in charge of a being you love? Nope - I'd fire her lazy @$$ and let all the people who think she's so wonderful, take up the slack. It would also make me wonder about how often she actually did what she was supposed to do with my dog.
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16. WIBTJ If I Put A Lock On My Carport Gate?

“I had a new neighbor move in next door to me. I noticed that he goes through my carport to throw away his garbage, as opposed to going around the building from his front door or going out of his garage to walk to the dumpster.

We live in condos, and my unit has a single attached garage with an enclosed carport right next to it that has a gate next to my front door. When I say carport, it’s really like a garage without a garage door. (Imagine a row of alternating garages and carports underneath the actual living units).

The dude wouldn’t have to go out of his way to avoid walking through my carport.

I bought a new car for the very first time recently and it’s a big sedan, so it’s a very tight squeeze. The thought of someone going through my carport and squeezing past my car holding bags of garbage and whatever else concerns me because I’d be really bummed if someone scratched my nice new car.

For reference, the neighbor blocked my carport the day they moved in last week and I asked him politely if he knew roughly how much longer the moving truck would be there and he kinda shrugged me off like ahh, it’ll be at least a few more hours, tough crap.

He’s an older white conservative fella (judging by the stickers on his massive lifted truck) and I am a young woman, and I get the vibe that me asking him not to walk through my carport wouldn’t get me anywhere. I try to be as courteous as possible to my neighbors with my noise levels, picking up after my dogs, etc. and I hate confrontation.

I would feel weird about walking through someone else’s carport because of how private they are.

Would I be rude for putting a lock on my carport gate?”

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rbleah 5 months ago
Not the jerk. and put up a sign that says not a public space. Stay out. Also let the landlord know what this jerk is doing and you don't like it/don't want him doing that.
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15. AITJ For Asking My Nanny To Do A Better Job?

“We have a 2-year-old & a newborn. I am a stay-at-home mom and this is my first time having a nanny I was weary and I did not want to leave my kids with strangers but I just decided I would bring her along on errands to calm my mind.

After my C-section, I felt better than the first time around and was mobile. My needs changed and I needed more help like cleaning and running errands. I called and asked if she would be okay with it. She did mention in her interview she has no problem cleaning up after my daughter but is not a housekeeper.

Depending on the scope of work she would be raising her hourly price. I asked her to just try for a week and see how she felt and she agreed.

Sometimes the kitchen was a bit messy and I would see if she would take the initiative and clean it but no. She only cleaned after my daughter.

I asked again if she would mind doing extra housework so I could be with my daughter more and she mentioned pay again. So I dropped it. I just wanted someone to help out with the house so if I could I could be the one to put my daughter down, give her food, etc.

She called me 3 weeks in and let me know she thought I was micromanaging. I told her I would step back but I wasn’t happy she wasn’t benefiting my daughter educationally and we went with her because we thought she was worth it.

I even suggested creating a timetable of home activities since I wasn’t comfortable with her going out alone with her so they could have a set schedule every day. There were also incidents where she was on her phone around my daughter and I let her know that was unacceptable and she took accountability.

I also wanted to add she wasn’t flexible and often couldn’t stay late when I asked due to other nanny gigs.

About a month ago, I was observing her clean up blueberries my daughter had thrown while she was eating. She swept everything except this one small piece of the smushed blueberry.

I watched as she left it under the island, threw away the Swiffer pad, and went to the bathroom. I was MAD and I didn’t want to say anything for fear of her saying I am micromanaging but I couldn’t hold back. I thought maybe she would come to clean it up after she got out.

I sent my daughter to play and waited for her. I asked if she was finished cleaning and she said yes. I showed her the blueberry piece she had left and she said she thought swept all the blueberries and didn’t see that. I didn’t believe that because I was sitting right there watching her and I saw her put it there and leave it.

I told her that she had already made it clear that she wasn’t comfortable doing extra housework at her pay but if she couldn’t even keep my daughter’s area clean this wouldn’t work.

After a little back and forth she said she is not comfortable and will be resigning.

I told her I agreed she should leave and she said goodbye and left. I paid her for the full days out of the week she worked + 3 hours.

So AITJ? I don’t think up-keeping the standards I set for my own house is micromanaging and I think I am within my right to want things a certain way.

Edit: Another issue I had was nearing the end of her employment things were constantly popping up. She became unreliable and called out at least twice or would leave before my daughter’s nap. And for clarification I never wanted her to clean the house. My main need was cleaning the kitchen and maybe the informal living room.”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
YTJ, you are micromanaging, and you changed your mind about the nanny's duties like I change my socks. I had to read your post three times before I could figure out what horrible sin the nanny had committed, and after the fourth try I still don't know. You asked her to clean the house more and run errands because you want to spend time with your daughter. She said no, not without a raise. You hired her as a nanny, not as a housekeeper. It's incredibly unfair for you to pick apart her housekeeping skills when that's not what she was hired to do, nor did she say she wanted to do it, but you kept pushing. And you contradict yourself again in your last paragraph when you say you never wanted her to clean the house when that's exactly what you asked her to do. You're excruciating. Go hire a housekeeper so you can be with your daughters and get it over with. Jeez!
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14. AITJ For Telling Someone To Use a Laundromat Instead Of Our Condo's Laundry Room?

“So my condo had a laundry room and with it a serial laundry leaver.

There are three washers and three dryers for 15 units. In my typical laundry schedule (sheets and towels Wednesday, clothes Saturday) I normally see this person’s stuff at least once a week put on top of a machine where someone else took it out and left it so they could use it.

I know it’s the same person because there’s always a pair of orange basketball shorts and a hot dog pattern T-shirt. I’ve taken this person’s stuff out once myself too. When this happened, the other two washing machines were in use and that one was just sitting with wet clothes.

I waited 30 minutes and when nobody showed up I took the stuff out. I watched someone else do the same! We shared a shrug and an ‘I think it’s okay.’ I get it, sometimes you forget, but once a week? I also don’t really relish the idea of some random touching my bras or underpants so I try my hardest at remembering.

So yesterday was clothes day and when I went down there were our hero’s clothes, sitting on the washing machine. All the machines were empty so they had been there all night or longer, and it’s getting humid again in Brooklyn right now as well so they REEKED. I shrugged and loaded my laundry in.

The mystery clothes went untouched through my 40-minute wash, hour dry, and then when I came down after another half hour (some needed a bit more drying time) mystery laundry guy was there and he was ANGRY.

He asked me if I touched his stuff and I said no, it was like that in the nearly two hours I had been doing laundry.

He got testy and started going on about how nobody has any right to do that and how he was going to email the apartment board to put rules in place. I laughed and said, ‘Dude the amount of times you do this you’re lucky nobody’s thrown your clothes in the trash, I wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up with them telling you to get lost and use a laundromat.’ He glared and shut up real fast and put his stuff back in the laundry for another cycle.

Kinda tempted to go and see if it’s still there right now, to be honest.

My fiancée thought this whole story was hilarious but plot twist, our neighbor has known it’s him this whole time! We were on our patio last night and I shared the story.

My neighbor said he has ADHD and probably can’t help it, and now I feel a little guilty. Maybe I was too intense. Should I have said nothing? AITJ?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
NTJ, and even if mystery launderer does have ADHD, that's not an excuse. I think you behaved perfectly. His problem, not yours. Maybe if it keeps happening, he'll get the message and stay until his laundry is done. Once or twice forgetting, I understand, but three times a week? That's a choice, not a mistake.
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13. AITJ For Asking My Niece About Her Partner?

“My (56 F) niece ‘Katy’ (24 F) doesn’t have a good relationship with her parents for various reasons.

We became closer when she was a teenager and her parents were in the process of separating. I think part of Katy’s supposed problems with her parents is just a case of her making a fuss about nothing. She suffers from anxiety and depression which probably don’t help with that.

Having said that, I’ve tried to support her in situations where I think it’s reasonable. I think things must have improved to some extent, as she doesn’t talk to me about her issues with her parents as much as she used to.

Anyway, Katy’s birthday was coming up at the end of November last year and I asked if she had anything planned for it. She said she was just going to get dinner and see a film with her partner (??M). This surprised me because I hadn’t heard about him before.

It turned out they’d been together for a little over 6 months. I asked if her parents had met him and she said no. I asked if they were going to, to see if I could get an idea of how serious this relationship is likely to be.

She just laughed nervously and said she didn’t know. I didn’t say anything else about it at this point.

The next time I saw Katy, I asked if she still had her partner and she said yes. So I asked the same questions again and got the same answers as before.

I thought this was getting a bit ridiculous now (I didn’t say that to her!), and I told her that she needed to get her partner to meet her parents. She wasn’t very responsive at first. Eventually, she seemed irritated by it and said that it didn’t make her relationship with her partner any less valid.

I didn’t see her again for a while until we met up for lunch about a month ago.

I didn’t say anything about her partner not meeting her parents this time. But while we were eating, I remembered that my eldest daughter ‘Hannah’ (29 F) mentioned that she’d briefly run into Katy and her partner at a train station about three weeks before.

So I commented on the fact that Hannah had met Katy’s partner, and that ‘she’s the only one who has.’ I hoped that would make her take the hint that I’d like to meet him too! She just made a nervous laughing sound again and changed the subject.

I was hoping I could see Katy again soon. So I sent her a WhatsApp message yesterday afternoon, saying that it’d be lovely to see her again, and asked her to let me know when she’s free. She replied quite quickly, saying that she didn’t mind meeting up with me.

But she wants me to stop making comments about her partner not meeting her family, and implying that her partner isn’t important to her because of it. She said she thinks it’s rude that I do this every time I see her, and it makes her not want to spend time with me.

I haven’t responded to Katy’s message, and I don’t plan to because I can’t believe that she would be so rude! Am I really so wrong for wanting her partner to be welcomed into her family?!”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
YTJ. Stop nagging her already! She'll let you meet him when she's ready and not before. And the more you nag, the longer it will be. None of your business anyway.
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12. AITJ For Not Lending My Car To My Neighbors?

“I (F 29) moved to a new neighborhood almost 2 years ago. I live alone, with no partner or kids but my mom (f 80) does live with me part of the year (6-8 months of the year).

I really like this neighborhood and haven’t had any issues until now, it’s a very tight-knit ‘community’, neighborhood BBQs at least once a month, the kids all play together after school, etc.

My next-door neighbors to one side have a severely disabled child, she is 6, almost 7, and completely nonverbal and wheelchair-bound.

They have nurses who help care for her but I know her parents are struggling, understandably so, her mom had to quit her job and is a full-time carer for her and their other older child. I’ve gotten relatively close to them, the parents, and they are lovely neighbors.

Their older child is respectful and honestly one of the sweetest children in the neighborhood.

For my mom, I bought a minivan and had it customized to have a ramp and wheelchair tie-downs so that I can easily transport her and her mobility equipment, usually an ECV or wheelchair, when she’s staying with me.

The other 4-6 months of the year, when my mom spends time with her sister and friends in our home country, the car sits mostly unused unless I have a reason to move bigger things that won’t fit in my daily driver.

I noticed that the neighbors didn’t have a car suitable for transporting their daughter without taking her out of the wheelchair and fighting to keep all her tubes and wires in place so I offered them the use of my minivan if I wasn’t using it to transport my mom.

We’ve had an agreement in place that has worked well for us for almost 18 months but now they’ve asked if they can use the car to go on a road trip, the trip is scheduled to last just over 2 weeks, and the main reason for the trip is to take the kids to Disneyworld for the first time.

My problem is that my mom is supposed to arrive a couple of days after they leave, I asked if they could delay the trip by just a few days so I can at least get her from the airport with minimal stress. They are adamant they leave on the dates they want to do I said no, I need to be able to comfortably get my mom from the airport and after a 12-hour flight I want her to be comfortable and not have to worry about getting in and out of the car.

They called me selfish and I’ve been ousted by the rest of the community, I wasn’t invited to the last BBQ, and nobody says hi or waves back at me on the street anymore. The neighbor kids that come by to see my dogs and run around the yard with them haven’t been by in almost 2 weeks.

I tried to text the neighbors but my texts went undelivered so I think they blocked me.

I feel like I am living in a hostile environment now and it’s so uncomfortable. Should I just cave and let them take my car?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
Wow. Your "lovely" neighbors sound like professional mooches. You were extremely generous to allow them to use your vehicle as much as you have, and now they want to take it ON A ROAD TRIP?!?!? And that you're selfish because you're not letting them take your car on a two week trip while your mother is visiting? Wow again. No good deed goes unpunished, that's for sure. Tell your neighbors that if they think you're being selfish and unreasonable, to let that "lovely" family use one of THEIR vehicles for two weeks for free, and see them backpedal. Lovely family shouldn't be taking a giant vacation like that if they're having financial troubles anyway. Sucks to be them. NTJ.
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11. AITJ For Wanting My Teacher To Stop Hounding Me About Books?

“I am (16 f) in my second last year of school and I have made my entire way through secondary school without owning a physical copy of any of the books. They are expensive and in my family, bills and feeding the children come first. It doesn’t help that the education department changes the books every 5 minutes, and buying new books every year, and getting surprise books in the middle of the year isn’t a good option for a lot of families, especially in my area.

So I’ve been photocopying books from my friends chapter by chapter for the last 4 years. I never miss school, I think I’ve missed like two days in those 4 years. My grades are decent and I’ve never not had my homework done, so it’s never been an issue for most teachers.

My geography teacher, Mr. C, is the issue.

He takes offense to the fact my mom can’t afford the ridiculously overpriced geography books (there are 4, there is simply no need for that nonsense) and thinks I am ‘taking advantage of the system’ by just carrying around pages (all in a folder) instead of funding the education system.

Usually, whenever he brings it up, I reply with a clever comment. My personal favorite is, ‘Mr. C, you’re teaching us about the slums in India and poverty in Ghana. You do realize that’s a worldwide issue? You’re a geography teacher and don’t even know (my country’s) poor areas.’

On Thursday, he was hounding me about the books again and how he wants me to have a physical copy or he’ll be sending a letter home to my mum. It’s March, and I am pretty mad at it at this stage, so I said ‘My mum will just use it as firewood, get off my butt about the stupid books.’

Anyways, my class is mostly 15 and 16-year-old boys who laugh at the words poo, needless to say, it caused massive disruption to the whole class, Mr. C has me put in detention for next Wednesday, and my mum is mad that I used the word butt in front of a teacher.


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LizzieTX 5 months ago
Definitely NTJ, and your mom should be glad you said "butt" instead of something more colorful. I agree - your teacher is out of bounds. As long as you're doing your work and attending class, he has nothing to say. What's it to him whether or not you buy a book? Not like he wrote it, is it? I'd suggest going to the principal if you hadn't already had a dust up with Mr. C, but I still think you should let administration know that Mr. C. hounded you about the stupid book(s) for a year, before you'd finally had enough and told him off. Teacher like that should be sanctioned for overstepping.
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10. AITJ For Not Giving My Brother And His Wife The Title To My Old Car Until They Pay Me What They Owe Me?

“I (22 f) sold my car to my SIL (22 f) because she didn’t have one and needed to get to and from work.

Since the car was old we agreed on $1600 which would need to be paid by the time the insurance policy was up. This was an expected 5-month payment plan. After she finished paying, I would hand her the title.

In one week, it will have been a year since she’s been in possession of my old car and she still hasn’t finished paying.

My brother (23 m) has occasionally been making small payments on her behalf, but the fact is, the amount they’re paying doesn’t add up to the money I’ve had to put in to keep the insurance going.

I just found out they sold the car to someone interested in parts and since then, they’ve been calling and demanding the title.

I’ve pointed out that they can now pay me the rest of the money they owe, but they say that they need it for bills. Since then I’ve been ignoring their calls.

They’ve called my mother (who after listening to both sides agrees with me) and my husband (just married recently) to ask about the title, but I don’t care to answer them until they send the rest of the money.

Yes, I realize now it’s best to keep financial situations away from family, but WIBTJ if I keep ignoring them?

Side note: at the time of selling my car, my SIL had a stable job of over 6 months and had the income to make the initial payment plan possible.

She got tired of working there and quit. Then she switched through two other jobs. My brother serves in the military and has made it known that their finances are separate so I don’t expect him to pay for her.

I am usually the ‘family bank’ since I’ve got a history of making the best financial decisions, but this is too much.”

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Deb77 5 months ago
Tell them they have 3 days to pay then the car will be reported as stolen. If you still have the insurance policy, proof that it is your car besides the title being in your name.
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9. AITJ For Telling My Dad To Sell His Golf Cart?

“Back in November life was good. I was promised a bonus in the first quarter, and my parents had just purchased a used golf cart for 3,000 USD.

I said, ‘Hey! When I get my bonus, I’ll reimburse you guys for that and it’ll be my Christmas present to you!’ I also sent them separate Christmas gifts in December.

3 weeks ago we were told at work we would not be getting our bonuses.

This has put my own household into a real quandary. We had plans for that bonus money. I was telling my parents about it and my stepmother interrupted me and said, ‘You still have to pay us that 3,000 dollars. We’ve made purchases expecting that money from you and you have to give it to us.

We are in trouble. You were to have sent it a month ago, and I hate to bring it up now, but you have to pay us.’

I admit, I was completely floored. I had just explained how my job situation was at risk, with no bonuses, and how it had messed up my entire life.

I wasn’t prepared for my stepmother to demand her money then and there.

I told my wife what was going on and she lost her mind. She told me that without my bonus money, we have a lot of home repairs that can’t be made, we’re having to tighten our belts, and that the last thing I should be spending money on is a golf cart that my parents can easily sell.

We have credit card debt, etc.

I secretly sent my parents my last 1,500 yesterday via Venmo because my stepmother told me that I had put them in such a financial bind my dad wouldn’t be able to afford his prescriptions… and my wife found out today and she is livid with me.

My wife told me that I had made an offer when my situation was good; it wasn’t my fault that I didn’t get my bonus, and that a golf cart is a luxury item. That if my parents had any sympathy for my situation they would simply sell the golf cart and pay whatever bills they’ve accumulated.

My wife isn’t speaking to me, and my stepmother has left me another VM telling me that I have to have the rest of the 3,000 to them by the end of this month.

I don’t know what to do.

Am I the jerk if I ask my dad to sell his golf cart?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
The only thing I'd call jerk on you for, is giving your stepmonster $1500. Your dad bought the golf cart without knowing you'd be wanting to buy it from them so that's on him. It's not your place to tell him to sell it or not sell it, because it's his and he bought it because he wanted it and your stepmonster is mad at him for doing that. And, your stepmonster hasn't made any commitments; she's just p!$$ed that she's not getting the rest of the money she thinks she's owed. Tell her to go pound sand, that she's getting not one more dime from you and to suck it up, just like your family is having to suck up the fact that you didn't get a bonus, and you gave more money away. Shame on you for doing that without telling your wife, by the way. But don't let dad or step harpy talk you into giving them another dime. Tell them your family needs that money and you'll be keeping it. Good luck.
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8. AITJ For Telling My Friend He Doesn't Look Like Ewan Mcgregor?

“My friend, we’ll call Charlie (26 M), is a huge nerd and Star Wars fan. Yesterday I (27 F) was out with him at a restaurant and he complimented a girl’s Star Wars shirt. They then started chatting about Star Wars, their favorite movies, shows, characters, etc., and when Charlie said his favorite character is Obi-Wan she made a comment that he actually sort of looks like Obi-Wan in the prequel movies!

When they finished talking and she had to go she said ‘Goodbye Obi!’ and he was clearly ecstatic about this.

He brought it up several more times that afternoon and even started suggesting that he should be Obi-Wan for Halloween next year since he looks so much like him.

For reference, Charlie has a beard and similar hair color (reddish blonde) to Ewan Mcgregor but otherwise looks NOTHING like him. I don’t want to be mean about it but Charlie is a bigger guy and just has absolutely no similarities to Ewan appearance-wise, he probably has like 100 lbs on him.

After he mentioned it for at least the 5th time and seemed to be almost bragging about the girl hitting on him because he looks like Obi-Wan, I snapped and said ‘You do realize she was just messing with you right? You look absolutely nothing like him.’

Charlie was very obviously hurt by this and at first, tried to laugh it off and say something about me being jealous, but then he got really quiet and ended up leaving shortly after. I tried to apologize but it came off kind of lackluster (I think I said ‘Sorry if that came off too harsh’) and he didn’t really acknowledge it.

Today I texted him again to apologize and he hasn’t responded for several hours. Was I the jerk for taking the wind out of his sails?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
Yes, you're the jerk. You didn't have to be mean to your friend, just because you were tired of hearing about the non-resemblance. Let him cool off for a few days and then try the apology again. If he accepts it, well and good. If he doesn't accept it, and he may very well not, you'll have learned a valuable lesson about keeping your temper and being courteous to those you care about. Good luck.
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7. AITJ For Telling My Partner's HR About His And His Coworker's Inappropriate Behavior?

“I was sitting in the passenger seat of my partner’s car while he ran into the store to pay for gas. I guess it was a long line because he took a while.

Anyway, his phone was face up in the console and started vibrating. Against my better judgment, I unlocked his phone. Prior to this instance, we had been struggling with trust issues, specifically him having wild flirty, borderline inappropriate conversations over various hidden social media accounts and me obsessively looking through his phone and computer trying to catch him.

In our most recent reconciliation, we promised each other we’d do better.

Back to the situation at hand, I punked out on my promise and opened his phone while he was in the store. The incoming messages from his coworker, ‘Ben’, most of which were pictures of pictures from another woman’s phone.

After some more context from Ben, it turned out these pictures were images he took using his phone of their supervisor’s private photos in her cellphone that he had asked to borrow because ‘his was dead.’ He’d apparently gone into the bathroom to make a private call and proceeded to text my partner photos of their supervisor, a beautiful young woman from Brazil.

They were provocative pics, lingerie, some private photos, some hardcore like a dirty magazine centerfold. I was immediately repulsed, hurt, and ashamed that my partner could be a part of this. I knew if I brought this up with him at the moment, it was going to escalate beyond anything I was ready to handle, so I pulled a Ben and took pictures of the pictures that were sent to his phone, along with the additional messages from Ben detailing his process in getting this photos and then returned the phone to the center console as though it had been untouched.

My partner returned to the car none-the-wiser until we pulled out of the parking lot and came to a red light and he reached for his phone. Upon initial inspection, he did that not-so-subtle side-angled turn so I wouldn’t be able to see the screen, after which he put it immediately into his pocket and began acting super suspect.

I played stupid, but I am sure he noticed the messages weren’t on ‘unread’ status and had his suspicions.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in a weird mood and then I went home without so much as a goodbye.

The next morning, I began corresponding with his company’s HR department and the supervisor from the photos.

Embarrassed and hurt, she confirmed she did lend her phone to Ben and that those pictures were in fact stolen from her phone. That afternoon I got a call from my partner, well, ex now. He’s done with me he says. He was fired. They both were.

He claims I jumped the gun, and he had no way of knowing that Ben was going to involve him. I coldly told him I had no idea what he was talking about and hung up the phone. It’s been a few days, but we still haven’t spoken.


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LizzieTX 5 months ago
Yeah, you're a jerk. But a much smaller jerk than your ex and Ben. And I can't say I'd have done anything differently than you did, either. Ben was the biggest jerk for doing what he did, and both he and your partner deserved to lose their jobs for stealing someone else's photos and distributing them. And at least your ex did you the favor of showing you that he's not worthy of your trust or your time, and that it's time to call it quits.
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6. WIBTJ If I Call Out My Employer For Not Brushing Her Daughter's Hair?

“I (22 f) have been nannying for my neighbors on and off since their eldest (4 f), V, was 1. Since I started working for them, they also had a boy, S (2 m).

I sat for them for 1 year and became sort of friends with the mom, O (~40 f) before I had to stop because of college. This year, I deferred a semester & O hired me back part-time.

V’s hair has always been difficult to manage: it’s very fine & also curly, making it impossible to keep untangled for longer than 12 hours.

When V was a baby, it was a matter of conditioner & detangling. V’s older & her hair is longer, which is fine, but nobody’s helping her manage it. The few times I’ve nannied V in the past few months, I noticed her hair is always a bit messy, but chalked it up to her hair texture.

I brushed her hair once in the bath a few months ago so I could braid it & it was very tangled but I didn’t overthink it because she always cries whenever I try to brush the knots out.

Today I went to pick V up from school and I saw the state of her hair: it’d tangled up so badly that some parts had matted into clumps.

Her hair’s always pulled up in a ponytail, hiding the worst of it. I was horrified, & decided that when we got back to her house I’d try to detangle it all. When we got home, she seemed okay with it up until I grabbed my detangling brush; V immediately started crying.

Normally, this might’ve stopped me from going through with it, but her hair was in such a state and I knew if I left it another day it’d only get worse. So I kept going while doing my best to soothe her – at some point, I got into the tub with her and poured water over my hair to show her it was okay.

After 2 hours and a lot of conditioner, I managed to detangle it all without having to cut anything. V, ever the trooper, cried the whole way through, but every time I asked her if she wanted me to stop she would say no.

Later, I told O about it.

She thanked me and made a comment about how it had been 3 months since someone had brushed V’s hair. I thought it was a joke, so I laughed, but she elaborated: the last time V’s hair had been brushed was when I braided it a few months back.

I was speechless & left soon after.

I want to talk to O about how it’s unacceptable to not brush your 4-year-old’s hair for 3 months, not just because of V’s hair health, but because a hair that matted can be a sign of neglect & if any teachers at the school noticed it & suspected anything, they’d have to report it to CPS.

I asked my mom but she doesn’t think it’s a good idea. The rapport O and I have, while friendly, is unbalanced: she’s my employer, she’s at least twice my age, and she’s V’s mom. My mom said that no matter what I say it’ll come off like I am either accusing O of gross neglect, threatening to call CPS on her, or even telling her how to parent her kids.

WIBTJ if I told O that it’s unacceptable to have left V’s hair unbrushed for that long?”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
I wouId think if you approach O from a position of respect and concern for V, you might be able to talk to her a bit about how unhealthy it is to continue to ignore V's hair. And that you are more than happy to help keep it brushed and groomed, but were afraid to overstep if you brought it up first. And then stop and listen. Good luck.
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5. AITJ For Telling My Parents To Come To My Brother's Graduation?

“I (22 F) am graduating from college this year and my brother (18 M) is graduating from high school. I was the valedictorian of my high school when I graduated a few years ago, and my class had about 300 students. I made a speech during the ceremony and was the first to receive my diploma, so everyone came out to see me.

We moved out of state soon after I graduated, so my brother went to a much bigger high school with almost 900 in his class. He’s not the valedictorian, but he is a great student in the top 10 of his class. I also recognize that he has way more competition than I did, so I don’t look down on him for this.

My brother is a shy kid who keeps to himself, so he doesn’t have much emotional attachment to the school (he told me this). My parents aren’t attached to the school either, so they told me recently that they don’t feel like going to his graduation.

They emailed the school and asked if they could have his diploma mailed to us or ‘give’ it to him over Zoom. The principal called them, taken aback, and said no, he had to go. My parents told me that they didn’t feel like sitting through 900 names and since my brother wasn’t valedictorian or salutatorian, he was just like everybody else and there was really no point in going.

They said it wasn’t worth coming only to see him walk on stage for a few seconds. The venue is also a few hours away from our house, so they don’t want to make that long drive.

I can somewhat understand the inconvenience of going (I hate how long graduations are), but I disagreed and said they should absolutely still go.

Graduation IS a big deal when you’re 17-18. He’s also in the top 10 which is a great achievement and I am proud of him. I also told them that he’ll appreciate his cap and gown photos from the day when he was older.

I said if they don’t go, it’ll send the wrong message that they don’t care about him as much since they went to my graduation. I also pointed out that it might hurt his feelings that they still want to go to my college graduation this year despite my class having over 5,000 people and being a few hours away from home.

They said, ‘Yeah, but college actually matters.’

My dad then called my brother and asked if he wanted to go to his graduation. My parents were shocked that he said yes, and he was shocked that they were considering not going. They tried to reason with him giving the explanation they gave me, but he was very hurt and said graduating was still important to him and that he just wanted to have ‘his moment’ for once since all of their attention was always on me.

After the call, my mom angrily asked if I had told him to say that. I actually hadn’t, but they didn’t believe me.

They said I’ve been inconsiderate about this matter and have been looking at this from an emotional instead of a logical perspective.

Either way, I will make sure to show up for my dude. I want to hear other’s opinions on this matter.”

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
You're wonderful for advocating for your brother, and your parents are horrible jerks who don't appreciate him. NTJ
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4. AITJ For Feeding My Son Spaghetti?

“My husband and I are vegetarian – he was born and raised vegetarian, where I ate whatever growing up and chose to be vegetarian when I was 17.

We have a 16-month-old who we’re raising vegetarian. I wanted to feed him whatever and when he’s older he can decide if he wants to be vegetarian, however, my husband feels we should raise him vegetarian and he can choose to eat meat if he wants to when he’s older.

He feels feeding him meat as a baby/toddler would be without his informed consent (I am paraphrasing – this conversation happened before we started solids and can’t remember specifics). Since neither of us knew how to cook meat I compromised and was like whatever, he’ll be vegetarian until he chooses otherwise if he wants.

He has become increasingly picky with his food to the point where he now will only eat certain things and god forbid he try anything new or eat food he used to like last month/year.

We traveled overseas to see family recently and I brought loads of packet food as a ‘just in case’ my baby won’t eat whatever I can find for him.

Well, annoying development – my baby now refuses packet food when he used to love it months ago. We left the country with food I made and he ate it, however, in transit and arrival in the country, my kid refused anything that I offered except packaged baby snacks and got agitated from being hungry.

Day 1 in the country, we’re on a boat, island hopping. My family provided a few trays of veggie stir fries and of course, my boy won’t eat anything. Tried offering bread, and no go.

Later in the night, one of the other kids on the boat is eating spaghetti with chunks of meat in it.

My boy reached for it crying (pasta is one of the few foods he’s okay with). My husband pulled him away saying no no you can’t eat that. I said the boy wants to eat the food, let’s feed him. I got a bowl of pasta and removed all the chunks of meat.

My husband was yelling at me, asking me why. I stated well we always said he can choose to eat other foods and he was crying reaching for said food. He said, ‘Well if he was reaching for marbles would you hand him that?’ Then said he refused to feed him, I had to, and took him off his lap.

I am like dude this kid feeds himself and he’s doing so. In the end, my boy finished it and was finally happy (no longer hungry) and my husband sat furiously texting on his phone and refusing to speak to me the rest of the night.


0 points (0 votes)

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rbleah 5 months ago
I think your husband is an idiot.
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3. AITJ For Wanting To Have My Mom's Engagement Rings?

“My fiancé (30 M) and I are getting married in a few weeks. A lot of funds have been going to the wedding. My fiancé and I have struggled a little bit. We’ve got everything ready, but we couldn’t possibly afford the rings.

My mother (54 F) has a gorgeous engagement ring – silvery with a diamond material. I’ve been absolutely in love with the ring ever since I was a little girl.

My father has been dead for over a decade. He got into a car crash, and my mother hasn’t remarried. On Wednesday, I tried to talk to my mother about giving me and my fiancé the engagement rings since my father is dead, and she doesn’t even need the rings anymore.

My mother got upset and said that she wouldn’t give up her ring because it reminded her of my father, and she wanted to keep the rings to remember the times they spent together.

I tried to talk calmly to my mother, because we were on the phone, and I was in a public space, so I explained to her how beneficial it would be for me and my fiancé, since we could save money and not have to spend it on rings, but my mother didn’t want to hear it.

She called me selfish and hung up.

After talking to my fiancé about what happened, he took my side, because he didn’t understand why my mother wanted to keep the rings. They were useless to her, but they could be useful to me and my fiancé.

I talked to my mom’s side of the family to try and get them to convince her, but they also got mad, and they said I was being disrespectful to my mother.

After talking to my mom’s side of the family, I sort of understood where she was coming from, but I still believe that me and my fiancé would really benefit from the rings.


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LizzieTX 5 months ago
How. Could. You? Yes, you're a heinous jerk and one with zero compassion, just a selfish little bridezilla who doesn't care about anything but what she wants. How COULD YOU?!?!? If I were your mother I'd never speak to you again, much less ditch your wedding. You'll be lucky if any of your family even come to your wedding now.
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2. AITJ For Expecting My Son To Help With His Siblings?

“My son is 18. He is going to be attending community college and is living with me, my husband, and his 2 younger half-sisters.

The other day I found out that he found and accepted a job without telling me.

I was upset with him about it and the reason for that is that first of all, he should’ve told me since we live in the same house and also, and more importantly now I am left without someone to stay with the girls from 3 to 8 where my shift start-ends.

My son is usually the one to stay home with the girls and his new job is during these hours so one way or another we are impacted.

He told me his friend found him this job and it just happened – but I don’t think it did because he knew he had to give up staying with his sisters while I work.

My husband travels most of the time (he’s a pilot) and paid childcare is a no for me. My son said I shouldn’t be surprised by him trying to work to save money to be able to pay for himself but that is just absurd since he literally lives with us without having to pay for anything except for his own entertainment.

He said he needed the job and he wasn’t realistically going to stay and watch his sisters for days on end especially since he doesn’t get paid for it.

We kept arguing and my husband got involved and he too was upset saying that my son had no respect for us.

My son basically had a ‘like it or not’ attitude with us and kept refusing to discuss this with us saying we had no right to be upset with him and should just accept it. But I am just… I think that he’s being inconsiderate of my husband and I’s struggle to provide for the family as a whole.

This should mean something to him but he acted selfishly.

Edit: The babysitter option isn’t ideal because my daughters don’t want a babysitter. They’re both dealing with some issues and are uncomfortable being with a stranger at home. Besides that, my son decided to stay with them and we didn’t ask him or anything.”

-2 points (2 vote(s))

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
You're a huge jerk, and you know it. How dare you deny your son his independence because his sisters "don't want a babysitter"?!?!? That's not the reason at all that you don't want a "stranger in the house"; you confessed a few paragraphs up that "paid childcare is a no for me", so don't go lying about being too cheap to let your son be the adult he is, without nagging him like you are. You also don't say how old your daughters are. If they're older than 12, the two of them can easily stay at home alone for a few hours, and check in with you via phone/text, if you really can't afford child care, which I don't believe because your husband is a pilot and you work too. You can - you just don't want to. Shame on you both.
And don't be surprised when your son moves out without telling you and goes no contact, because that's exactly what's going to happen if you don't stop treating him like your personal slave.
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1. AITJ For Choosing To Be With My Sister Over My Husband On Valentine's Day?

“So I (29f ) am the oldest of three siblings. I have a brother (28) and a sister who I will call Emma (21). I am extremely protective of my siblings due to our childhood (workaholic parents who were never there).

When my (30) husband and I met 7 years ago I explained I am basically their mother and when they need me I will drop everything to go to them.

Even before we got married I made him promise that he would accept that my loyalty to my siblings would always come first.

Recently my sister did something stupid that caused her childhood sweetheart whom she’d been with since she was 15 to ghost her.

Since the 9th of February, she’s been staying at our home and I’ve been helping her deal with her first heartbreak which she’s taking badly (think Bella new moon bad).

Of course, Valentine’s Day being so close it was going to be harder for her.

You can imagine my anger when my husband decorated our bedroom and got me an over-the-top gift basket with extremely expensive makeup/skin care. I don’t know, did he make a stupid mistake trying to mean well, or did he set out to prove a point as he’s been a bit of a crab towards my sister?

He hasn’t shown her any pity nor does he support me ‘treating her like an innocent baby’.

On Valentine’s Day, he called me and said to get ready as he was taking me out to surprise me. I honestly needed a break and I was glad we weren’t fighting anymore.

While I was getting ready my sister entered the room and had a breakdown which ended in a panic attack. She was still crying in my arms when my husband entered our room dressed in a suit.

I just mouthed ‘Sorry’ and he threw down the roses screaming ‘SCREW IT.


He came back home around 3 a.m. and slept on the floor of our bedroom (by his own wishes. Since then he hasn’t spoken to me.

My brother has told me I was in the right as family comes first but my friends are on my husband’s side.”

-3 points (3 vote(s))

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LizzieTX 5 months ago
YTJ. Your sister has clearly been not just raised, but babied and spoiled by you her entire life. Now she's living with you, the breakup was before Valentine's day, and you STILL let her ruin the lovely evening out that your long suffering husband planned? Seriously? I don't blame him in the slightest for "not showing her any pity"; she's AN ADULT! Adults have relationships and adults get their hearts broken. It's part of life. Why aren't you insisting that she get over it and stop whining? I'm surprised your husband hasn't pitched a long overdue fit before now. WHY ARE YOU IGNORING HIM TO BABY HER? Do you WANT to get divorced?
It's time for sister to move out and get her own space. Do it quickly, before your husband feels so displaced and unappreciated that he leaves the two of you to be happy being codependent together. Definitely you're a huge jerk.
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