People Chatter About Their Dubious "Am I The Jerk" Stories
36. AITJ For Reporting My Stinky Coworker To Our Boss?
“About a year ago my firm hired a young assistant (She’s 24 and we’ll call her Tammy). The young lady works hard and is always polite.
However, her hygiene is awful.
She smells funky on a good day, and extremely terrible on the bad ones. It’s bad enough that we’ve received complaints from at least two clients.
Several of my coworkers have mentioned it, and one young lady actually purchased a goody basket of lotions, sprays, and dry shampoo and gave it to her. That was weeks ago and all the bottles sit unopened on her desk and clearly unused.
One gentleman said and I quote ‘It’s like something that crawled up out of a sewer, died, and then something else ate it, and they died too’.
She often has to enter my private office to bring me mail, and some days the stench that is left behind remains for hours. Like a bad fog that I’m shocked we can’t all see like in a cartoon with flies. It sometimes leaves me nauseated and I’m forced to continuously spray air freshener until it either fades or overpowers the stench.
It’s gotten so bad that no one wants her in their cars when we meet outside the office, because the funk will remain in your car for days if it’s hot. No one can really explain the cause, she’s not overly obese (though she’s a tad overweight) and she has access to a shower and washer and dryer (another coworker went to her apartment).
I personally think she doesn’t bathe very often (her hair is very greasy and really thin for someone that young). She also wears sleeveless shirts and has very thick underarm hair, and I think she doesn’t use deodorant, and perhaps sweat is getting trapped there.
On Friday I finally had enough and mentioned it to our owner who is the only person with the authority to do anything.
He quickly went to her and very bluntly asked her to go home and shower and not to return until she did.
Now I feel like a complete jerk since she was clearly humiliated. Did I handle this wrong? Should we ignore and accept people who smell terrible? Am I the jerk?”
35. AITJ For Going To A Baseball Game With My Brother?
“Way back in March/April my friend Kevin and I talked about going to a baseball game. We picked a game to go to and started planning where we were going to sit and who was going to get tickets and all that.
Then Kevin said, ‘Oh I’ll bring Graham, I don’t think he’s been to a game yet’.
Graham is Kevin’s 8-year-old son. I don’t have anything against the kid as a person, but whenever Kevin brings him anywhere everything is catered to him, and everyone else is just dragged along and expected to enjoy being bored.
He was already talking about how we should tailgate, and take my car since it’s bigger and can hold lawn chairs and coolers.
So I would have had to pay for parking and probably food and bring a grill.
Usually, when I go to a game with friends we go to a local sports bar, get some food there and then take their shuttle to the game so we don’t have to pay for parking. I might get a hotdog and a beer during the game but that’s it.
Another thing with Kevin is whenever you go somewhere with him and Graham and are buying yourself snacks he says ‘Oh can you get blah blah for Graham, I’ll pay you back’, but never does.
So this idea to go to a game went from something fun with a buddy, to going along to a game with my friend and his kid.
Which didn’t sound even a little fun to me.
A couple of days later I told Kevin it wasn’t going to work out for the game. I didn’t lie and say I had to work or anything, but I didn’t say ‘I don’t want to go with your kid’ either.
I went to the game yesterday with my brother.
We ended up crossing paths with Kevin and Graham. Kevin said hi to me and said ‘I thought you had to work?’ I said I didn’t say that, that I thought going to the game wouldn’t work for me, but it ended up working out and I just figured Kevin should have quality time with Graham so I came with my brother.
That was it and we went our separate ways.
Kevin must have figured out why I didn’t wanna go with him because he sent me a long text this morning basically saying it’s bs how people change after someone has a kid, sometimes you get to hang out with your friend’s kids and should appreciate having Graham in my life instead of avoiding him.
He said that Graham is important to him and should be important to me. I need to grow up and realize sometimes things include kids and I can’t just bail on plans when a friend wants to include their children. And to ‘Be a better friend next time’.
I don’t really like kids and don’t want to hang out with them.
I felt like I was in a no-win after he said he was bringing Graham, either I was the jerk that said ‘I don’t wanna go to a game with a kid’, or I end up spending more money on parking and food and being bored, I go with someone else, or don’t go at all when I really wanted to see that game.
AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Refusing To Pay For My Neighbor's Vet Bills?
“My partner and I recently rescued a dog from a local shelter. He’s probably 4-5 years old and a huskie mix breed. His head looks like a fluffy Pitbull but we’ve also been told possibly Mastiff.
Either way, he is very sweet and loving and we are so happy with him. He is a big dog but has never shown any aggressive behavior.
Our neighbor was aware we had a rescue dog and we were getting to know him. Regularly told us how handsome our dog is. They also have a dog (prob medium-sized) but our dog didn’t pay much attention to theirs, and there’s a high fence between our yards.
We were also told by the previous tenant to avoid the neighbors as they had some issues with them while living in the house we now rent.
The issue: my partner was walking our dog around the block and the neighbor was outside with his dog. His dog was not on a leash and did not have his collar on, was just running around the front yard (which I could see from my own backyard).
Our city has laws that state a dog must always be leashed or tethered.
Anyway, my partner is too polite for his own good so he stopped when the neighbor spoke to him to be friendly. Meanwhile, our dog has dug something up from the sidewalk. The neighbor’s dog ran over to our dog (who was leashed) and tried to take whatever our dog had dug up.
Our dog reacted and bit their dog.
My partner immediately apologized and grabbed our dog tighter and brought him home absolutely devastated. The neighbor said not to worry, dogs are dogs.
We discussed offering some financial help if their dog was seriously hurt. Fast forward to two visits from the neighbor and one from his wife where they’re screaming at us to put our awful dog down, saying they don’t want to see him in the yard or by their house, and we hear them telling the other neighbors that we are crazy and our dog is a savage.
I tried to talk to the woman about a reasonable agreement about the dog and vet bills but she just kept screaming about killing our dog and calling the police. So I told her to leave. And now her husband watches me when I go in the backyard.
AITJ for now refusing to pay their vet bills?
The police told us their dog wasn’t tethered so it was partially their responsibility and I am expected to pay nothing. However, if they hadn’t of been so unreasonable I had planned to offer some money anyway but now I refuse.”
33. AITJ For Forcing My Wife To Get A Job?
“I and my wife have been married for 3 years. She lost her job 2 months back and then was going to interviews and all that but when she couldn’t clear those interviews, she decided she just didn’t want to keep trying to look for a job. She said she wants to be a stay-at-home wife.
Ok, no problem but a stay-at-home wife does the majority of the household chores. However, my wife doesn’t cook, she basically just reheats leftovers from the night before that I would’ve cooked. I cook dinner every night so she just reheats those leftovers.
Cleaning, I don’t remember the last time she vacuumed or mopped the house.
The house is a complete mess. There’s dirt everywhere.
She doesn’t go get groceries, because apparently, she doesn’t want to carry the heavy bags.
I do laundry, grocery shopping, bathroom cleaning, yard work, throwing trash, washing dishes, and everything else.
It all came to a breaking point yesterday when I came home from work to dirty dishes, a messy house, and she said that she had been waiting for me to come home and make dinner.
She could’ve made dinner because she was just watching TV. But no, she didn’t do any of that because she expected me to come home and do everything.
I’ve communicated to her before about how she needs to at least do basic chores at home but it airways leads to fights, her crying, then her doing the chores for a day, and then back to square 1.
I just couldn’t take it anymore. I told her I’m sick of being the only one working at home. I said that she needs to step up with chores or go get a job. She started crying and said that I’m being very controlling by forcing her to take up a job. I said it is what it is and her crying will not fix our financial issues or do the chores at home.
She said she was not going to take up a job and that I cannot force her.
So I said ‘Fine you know what, since you don’t want to work, we will no longer have any luxuries at home, no Netflix, cable tv, other subscriptions, internet, no more using the car-use the bus, no more outings, buying clothes only in thrift stores, and no ordering food online.’ I also said that apart from house purchases, sanitary products, necessities, and medical emergencies, she has to run all other purchases by me.
Also, no more expensive makeup, she can buy it at the dollar store or at Walmart if she really needs it.
She started crying and said that I’m being too mean and harsh on her. She said that she really doesn’t want to get a job because it will affect her mental health. I told her that even though my mental health is being affected, I am not sitting at home because of that.
She has only two options, get a job or do household chores. She told me to go sleep on the couch because I was being a jerk to her. I refused and told her it was my bed too and I will not be leaving it. She then went to sleep on the couch. This morning, she complained of a sore back and body pain.
AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Never Giving My Sister Money Again?
“My sister (22) lied about using my (f 20) credit card. For the past couple of weeks, random Lyft charges were appearing on my credit card. I asked my sister if was it her, as she’s one of the few people I gave my credit card info to, but she said it wasn’t her. I canceled my card and ordered a new one, but Lyft charges were still appearing.
The two most recent charges were on Christmas and Tuesday. On Christmas, I saw a charge come through from Lyft and I asked my sister did she request a Lyft. She said no that she was getting picked up (she was headed to her significant other’s house). I believe her and assumed someone was using my card again.
On Tuesday, I was at work and once again I saw a Lyft charge on my credit card. This time I had a feeling it was my sister, so I tracked her on find my iPhone and saw that she was moving at car speed from her SO’s house to our house. I waited until I got home to ask her about it.
When I got home, I asked for her phone to see if she had Lyft, She stalled (I suspect she deleted it before handing it to me). She denied not only using Lyft but having it on her phone and said she walked home. A COMPLETE LIE I LITERALLY TRACKED HER! It made me mad, but I let it go.
Well, today I was using my deceased mother’s phone and happened to see my sister was logged into her email. On a whim, I looked up Lyft, and lo and behold both Lyft charges appeared under her Lyft account. I was met was pure sadness and anger. I sent her the proof that she used my card and she said she will pay me back.
I’m quite disturbed for many reasons. 1. Even if she was using Lyft and accidentally charged my card, why lie in the first place about having Lyft? 2. Whenever I brought up someone possibly using my card without permission she showed sympathy and offered to give me money for those unknown charges WHEN IT WAS HER THE WHOLE TIME.
I know this seems minute but I don’t think I can ever look at my sister the same way. Lying about something so small and sending me on a wild goose chase to figure out what was going on with my card is pure lunacy.
Anyway, I plan on never giving her money again.
AITJ?”
31. AITJ For Not Promising To Be My Sibling's Guardian After My Mom's Gone?
“My brother has autism, and my mother wants me to be fully responsible for him when she passes. She was diagnosed with cancer and chemo isn’t working so… we’re hoping it’s not soon, but you know.
Here’s the background:
My brother is low-functioning autistic, with no hopes of holding a job or living on their own. He’s 22 but is essentially 8 years old in all prospects of mental development, maybe even younger.
My brother attends a school for those with autism. It’s essentially autism and a mental disability, and he lives in the school he attends.
Anyways, he lives there, so what’s the problem you might ask.
Well, he comes home once a month. For roughly 5 days.
My mother wants me to continue this schedule after she passes and that’s my issue.
I have no qualms or issues with being the guardian in charge, making decisions, and aiding him in those manners.
My mother wants me to consistently keep this schedule as it has been set for the last decade and those with autism are extremely sensitive to routines. I understand that. I do.
But this essentially means I couldn’t ever move, or take a lengthy vacation, and even if I’m sick I should be expected to still carry through with it.
This also gets more complicated when you consider things like if I were to ever have kids.
Even if I find a job opportunity across the country she would expect me to either not move or make the flight every month to bring him back.
I will also add I have my own mental issues.
Though ones I’ve worked on extensively.
My mother has also made it clear I will only be receiving life insurance money if I were to take care of him in the past, which you know… cool, but it’s whatever.
My issue is that once she passes I’m to be expected to essentially fill the mother role in ways I’m not sure I’m capable of and if I’m being honest, not sure I even want to.
I genuinely have a life ahead of me and my own dreams and to say this would break that all would be fitting. Again, I have no issues taking the role on paper and making choices, and of course, I have no problem bringing him for holidays and such.
The idea of every month though is genuinely pretty much taking my life and autonomy away from me.
And when I bring this up I’m immediately shut down and my mom will say how he’s going to be alone and have nobody and I’m the only one he can rely on.
I try to stress that I will do my best but that I will need to put my own life and needs first. Even bringing up the what-ifs makes her cancel the conversation and proceed to call me unreliable and demonize me.
I try to stress I’ll do my best, but that’s not enough for my mom who wants reassurance I will dedicate my life to my autistic brother and basically put him above all else as the deciding factor of how I should make life choices like jobs and such.
So… AITJ for pushing back and blatantly saying I can’t promise it?”
30. AITJ For Hating My Biological Dad?
“I and my dad grew up with a rocky relationship. He and my mom split before I was even born. He missed out on 90% of my school functions and was never one to really believe me. He was the father who needed ‘proof and evidence’ in order to believe a word I ever said. I have PTSD from my childhood from both sides but honestly, the trauma from him hurt more than from my mother.
My father has held himself on this high horse forever and he likes keeping an eye on us (me and my older sister) but not like most parents we had apps downloaded on our phones so he had 100% access to our phones whenever he wanted. We had cameras in our house because he ‘couldn’t trust us’.
We weren’t really that bad for kids either.
So what made me snap at him was the social media stalking. Since my 18th birthday, I told him to leave me alone online. What I post is what I post. Well 2 years later almost and he’s still having his friends stalk my profiles. He doesn’t like some of the things I post so he started ignoring me.
I messaged him on June 24 about issues with my car and he ignored me. I texted him on July 28 about a promotion n he ignored me. I then texted him on July 29 and he ignored me again so I blocked his number for a few months but unblocked him in September.
When I got engaged in October I sent out the same thing to everyone a picture of the ring with the caption ‘I said yes’.
I waited a whole week before I texted him ‘I would just like to say thanks. Thanks for ignoring the good news I share. Thanks for making me feel like less to you and thank you for showing me where I stand here. Since you had no care to comment on my engagement I will let you know that Stepdad will be walking me down the aisle.
I don’t care if you are mad but whatever, you can at least congratulate your kid’ to which we got into an argument about how I chose my stepdad over him and how he did his best.
Now my stepdad has always been in my life since I was 1. I’m 19 now. He showed up when needed and I know I can call him and he will drop everything to come.
He taught me how to ride a bike and tie my shoes. All the things a dad is meant to do. My father didn’t do those things.
After my father pretty much said he was the best dad I went off listing my trauma from him to which I got ‘And what do you want me to do about that’ pretty much.
I asked for an apology for the trashy things I had to deal with because of him and he turned it around to ‘Why do I get to apologize but you don’t’. I haven’t responded from there and I obviously sit some of our fight but that’s because we were sending paragraphs back and forth fighting over this.
My stepdad tho thinks I may regret not having my actual dad do it but I’m at the point I’m feeling strongly about not even sending my father an invite.”
Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials.
29. AITJ For Accompanying My Teenage Cousins To The Gym?
“I (20 M) usually take my cousins (15 & 16 F) to the gym with me once or twice a week since they expressed interest in going with me. (by the way, my ‘cousins’ aren’t related by blood, it’s because their parents are lifelong friends of mine)
Before they came with me, I asked why they wanted to go and they both said they were impressed with my calisthenics (shameless humble brag).
I’ve been going with them for about a month. I go to a more intermediate gym, where the main focus is living heavy weights. It’s a bit smaller than your average gym and the people who go there are borderline Olympic medalists in athletic level.
Everyone except me, of course, LOL.
But recently my aunt (not the mother of my cousins), saw a post my cousin posted of us at the gym. She took the time out of her busy day of lounging on the couch watching The Young and Restless to drive 20 minutes to my house to chew out my mother for me giving my young cousins, body-positive issues.
Her argument is that girls that young being around other super skinny and fit women is detrimental to their mental health. And I’m leading them into a lifetime of body problems and I’m a monster for doing this.
My mom was on my side, but over time she began leaning toward my aunt’s point.
My aunt ever the drama queen, decided to call my cousins parents over and raise her concerns.
I had to stand before all of them and explain the workouts we did. I always made sure to watch them when they lifted weights and coached them on proper technique. If I’m honest, those were some of the best times of this year.
I never let them do too much and the other people at the gym absolutely loved having the girls around to give pointers and to just talk to.
My aunt said it was just odd I didn’t go with people my age. which doesn’t make sense because she knows I go daily with my two high-school buddies.
Everything settled down now, but the parents said maybe I shouldn’t take them to the gym with me anymore and that makes me really sad.
I asked a friend, and he said I’m a jerk because I was overstepping my boundaries especially since I’m not related to them by blood. So, AITJ?”
28. AITJ For Throwing Away A Moldy Pizza?
“My roommate’s significant other practically lives at our house. She has her own apartment but chooses to be at ours for the most part. That’s honestly fine with me because we get along really well and have built up a friendship.
The one thing that does get to me is that she always puts her food in our fridge, which wouldn’t be an issue if our fridge wasn’t tiny.
She leaves everything in there, never eats it, and then takes up so much space that I have barely any room to put my own groceries.
Usually, I leave whatever isn’t mine in the fridge untouched, but her food just sitting in there has gotten to the point where it was incredibly moldy. It made me concerned about the other food in there honestly.
I told my roommate ‘Hey I’m gonna clear out the moldy stuff from the fridge’ and she said that it was fine. I didn’t think to clear it with the girl since technically it isn’t her fridge.
When the girl came back to the apartment, she opened the fridge and saw that her 4-week-old moldy Domino’s was no longer in there and TORE into me.
She went on about how I was disrespecting her and that she was going to eat it today. Even after explaining how moldy it was, she still tried to tell me she was going to eat it.
This is my first apartment, so I’m not sure if my throwing away her stuff is considered crossing a line that you shouldn’t when there’s a roommate situation.
It felt justified at the time but now I’m not so sure if I’m not missing something. AITJ?
27. WIBTJ If I Refuse To Share My Son's Birthday With My Ex?
“Recently my ex (Joe) and I finally consented to a custody agreement, after years of contention, that was recommended by the courts and makes everything much more clear cut.
We have a son (Mark) who will be 9 later this month. On even years Mark spends his birthday with me and on odd years with Joe. Mark lives with me 80% of the time with every other weekend visitation, split holidays, and summer with his dad.
At a recent custody exchange, Joe said he was working a coming weekend so he would be unable to get Mark but planned to get him the next weekend.
Which is Mark’s birthday, and it’s my time this year. (Due to shady stuff/last-minute emergencies Joe has pulled in the past, I’ve not seen Mark on his actual birthday since he was 5.) I told Joe, no, it’s my time and I’m following our custody order. He said he’s working and can’t change that without the risk of getting fired, so he will get Mark that next weekend and I can shut up.
I told Joe that Mark already has birthday party plans and reservations in place and I am not going to change them as it’s unfair to Mark and to the people we’ve invited. That caused Joe to blow up, yelling and cursing at me, telling me I need to cancel all that crap because he will be getting Mark that weekend and I have no right to plan anything on Mark’s birthday without his permission.
By then I was starting to feel scared and Mark had locked himself in my car. I tried asking Joe if he’d be ok having Mark the night before his birthday and me getting him back after lunch on his birthday. Joe said no and told me to basically go screw myself, that he either gets the entire day or none of the day at all.
By this point, Joe was pretty angry and ended up yelling again and getting in his car and peeling out of the gas station we meet at.
Joe and I did another exchange yesterday, and I asked again if he’d like to try and share Mark’s birthday with me. This time Joe acted all upset and started saying the custody order is nonsense and unfair to him.
I reminded him that he signed it, and we both did. Joe says he didn’t know what he was signing that he never read it, was just told he needs to sign this because if we went to court he’d lose really badly and he can’t afford to go to court, so he just signed, left, and never looked at the papers.
Which is very much a Joe thing to do.
And I still don’t have an actual answer on whether or not Joe wants to share Mark’s birthday or not. I do know how utterly heartbreaking it is to not see your child on their birthday, but Joe only wants the entire day to himself, which I’m not ok with.”
26. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be Involved With My Husband's Daughter?
“My husband has a 2-year-old daughter with his on-again off-again partner. We are non-monogamous (by his choice and my consent). No one forced anyone. His daughter’s mother doesn’t like me and thinks I shouldn’t be around their daughter.
Now I must reveal the fact that I was an addict. I have been clean for 3 years now. But deep in my addiction, it was bad. I embarrassed myself everywhere I went. I was falling apart and just wasn’t a good wife or person to be around.
Not that it’s an excuse but I got into illegal stuff as a way to self-soothe after I lost my entire family in a freak car accident.
My parents, sisters, brothers… all gone.
I’m an immigrant in this country and with no family left I just lost it. Our relationship became miserable but my husband stayed by my side.
Eventually, I realized that he was staying with me out of obligation and we had a conversation to open our marriage. He started going out with a co-worker and I stayed away from seeing other people as I felt I wasn’t healthy enough to get involved with another person.
Anyway, two years ago he got his partner pregnant and she decided to keep the baby. It wasn’t ideal but I accepted the situation. I was very supportive. They eventually broke up and he got 50% custody. His partner insisted that I shouldn’t be around his child because as an addict I’m a bad influence, and she doesn’t want to expose her child to that.
I agreed to her conditions and now whenever their daughter visits for the week, I leave the house. My husband is not happy with me leaving and thinks that I’m giving in to her bullying. They are now fighting again and my husband wants me to stay when his daughter visits.
I refuse to antagonize the mother any further and just stay out of it.
Even my husband’s family thinks I should be more involved. They want me to be more involved but I don’t want to go against his daughter’s mother.
AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Losing Patience With My Mom?
“My husband has a 2-year-old daughter with his on-again off-again partner.
We are non-monogamous (by his choice and my consent). No one forced anyone. His daughter’s mother doesn’t like me and thinks I shouldn’t be around their daughter.
Now I must reveal the fact that I was an addict. I have been clean for 3 years now. But deep in my addiction, it was bad. I embarrassed myself everywhere I went.
I was falling apart and just wasn’t a good wife or person to be around.
Not that it’s an excuse but I got into illegal stuff as a way to self-soothe after I lost my entire family in a freak car accident. My parents, sisters, brothers… all gone.
I’m an immigrant in this country and with no family left I just lost it.
Our relationship became miserable but my husband stayed by my side.
Eventually, I realized that he was staying with me out of obligation and we had a conversation to open our marriage. He started going out with a co-worker and I stayed away from seeing other people as I felt I wasn’t healthy enough to get involved with another person.
Anyway, two years ago he got his partner pregnant and she decided to keep the baby. It wasn’t ideal but I accepted the situation. I was very supportive. They eventually broke up and he got 50% custody. His partner insisted that I shouldn’t be around his child because as an addict I’m a bad influence, and she doesn’t want to expose her child to that.
I agreed to her conditions and now whenever their daughter visits for the week, I leave the house. My husband is not happy with me leaving and thinks that I’m giving in to her bullying. They are now fighting again and my husband wants me to stay when his daughter visits.
I refuse to antagonize the mother any further and just stay out of it.
Even my husband’s family thinks I should be more involved. They want me to be more involved but I don’t want to go against his daughter’s mother.
AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Throwing A Metal Water Bottle At My TV?
“For my entire life, my older sister (now 20) has been my parents’ favorite. If my brother or I got something, she had to have it or a better version.
And for 16 years, my sister had it easy using this to her advantage. When I was 16, a huge family fight ended up in therapy sessions. My parents finally figured out that their favoritism was harming their relationship with my brother and me. So they cut my sister off from the favoritism, cold turkey.
Recently my grandpa’s big 55-inch smart tv broke due to a power surge.
Well, he asked me to help get a new one and set it up. During the installation of the new tv, I saw his old tv. I then asked for it stating I can fix it and return it. My grandpa said, ‘If you can fix the darn thing, keep it’. So I did exactly that, I order the parts from eBay and replaced the boards.
It works like a charm. For some reason my sister is jealous, and honestly, this goes beyond jealousy. Almost obsessional, almost daily she asks to buy it off of me. It got to the point where she tried to forcibly take it and just dump cash on my desk.
Well after denying her for the 20th time.
She went to my parents, attempting to get them to help her. Well, they said no as well. But my sister did not stop annoying them till they caved. They offered me to buy a brand new one, all I had to do was give this one up and wait about a month until my dad’s bonus came in.
But I didn’t want a new one. I fixed this one, I mounted it, and I don’t want to wait a month. Then I woke up one day to the T.V. being taken out of my room and after processing it. I went off and threw my metal water bottle at it. Well everyone freaked out.
Screaming at me as to why. And I just told them ‘If I can’t have it no one can’. After this I sold it on eBay along with a spare LCD screen I had for it, and enough to buy another and newer one.
Well now everyone is telling me I’m the jerk for destroying the TV, if I was just gonna buy a new one.
I wasn’t going to buy a new one, I was just going to use the old one for the rest of my life. But she had to take it, and so far she hasn’t asked for the new one. So it paid off in the end. So AITJ?”
I also would put my energies toward saving money to move out. You're best being far, far away from this toxic mess. Good luck.
23. AITJ For Wanting To Go To My Brother's Child-Free Wedding?
“My (27 f) brother (29 m), we will call Troy, is getting married to his partner (32 m), Duncan, next fall.
I have 2 beautiful children (4 m and 9f).
A small back story, I have severe anxiety regarding my children being with other people. I have tried talking to countless therapists to cope with my unfortunate childhood. I don’t trust anyone I am not very close with, and my husband and I rarely go out due to this.
I don’t mind not going out and doing things, my children were planned and I love spending every moment with them.
The issue is, Duncan is not a fan of children. He tolerates mine and that’s about it. Troy loves his niece and nephew but since they started going out a year ago, he has started seeing them less and less (not my problem).
When they announced they wanted a child-free wedding out of state because ‘I swear to god if I have to hear a child on my wedding day screaming and crying I will lose my mind on them.’ -D
I completely understand a child-free event and I expect no accommodations. I spoke with my husband regarding the situation and how I was uncomfortable leaving the children in a hotel for the day with someone, especially if it’s over 6 hours.
After coming to a conclusion, I told Troy that as much as we would love to go to the wedding we probably won’t make it due to my anxieties. He then went on a rant and told me I was overreacting and that I needed to get over myself. He said that a lot of his other friends have kids and understand it’s kid free and I’m not going to guilt trip him into letting my children be at the wedding (that was not my goal).
I told him this wasn’t my intention as it was my thoughts getting the best of me.
A few days later tryout came back to me saying that I misunderstood him and that my children can be there for the ceremony and pictures but needed to leave right after. I told him I am still unsure as I will need to pay for an additional hotel room for a babysitter and that can be several hundred dollars just for a couple of nights.
After all of this, I am starting to feel like a jerk for possibly not going to the wedding because I don’t trust anyone with my children.
So, am I the jerk?”
It sounds like your family want to force you to attend, and aren't respecting your boundaries. I think they're the ones with the problem, not you. Spoiled groomzillas, both of them. I'd be pleased they gave you an ironclad excuse for not going, if I were you.
22. AITJ For Causing My Sister To Lose Her Job?
“My sister (Tina) is a PSW (personal support worker) and has an elderly patient (Lilly) who thinks Tina is her daughter.
Lilly’s daughter passed away at a young age in her early twenties. Lilly keeps calling my sister by her daughter’s name and even started crying when she first saw her and told her that she thought you were dead.
I told Tina that she should get someone else to work with Lilly because I think it might be a conflict of interest because Lilly sees her as her daughter and my sister does look like her daughter. My sister told me she’ll be fine and continue to work with Lilly.
Tina started receiving gifts from Lilly and would brag about getting double-paid to hang out with Lilly.
The last gift she received was 1000$ in cash so Tina could buy a new phone, that was the last straw for me and I told my sister to her face that I would be reporting her, but she didn’t believe me. I told her on many occasions that if she keeps accepting gifts from this old lady I’d report her but she didn’t listen.
Later on, Tina lost her job due to me reporting her, Tina called me crying saying that I’m a jealous jerk who’s gonna make her homeless now.
She told our mom about me and my mom is also mad at me telling me it wasn’t my business to get involved with my sister’s affairs and that she was helping Lilly and told me that I should invite her to stay at my house until she is able to find a new job.
I did offer her to stay with me because I did feel bad but at the same time, I feel like she was taking advantage of that old lady and should have gotten someone else to work with her.
Was I in the wrong here?”
21. AITJ For Declining Handovers From Someone?
“4th of July 10 pm. Someone’s fireworks landed in my garage and set a fire that destroyed my garage and half of my house and both of our cars.
Bad things happen. We all get out and the pets too, but most of our ‘stuff’ is smoke-damaged and water damaged. We borrow a friend’s small car and get to a hotel with our pets.
My wife sets up a gofundme and asks for donations and a few people share the post to their social media accounts.
From there, it’s non-stop private messages from locals who want to get rid of their junk. I don’t want it. I have no place to put it. I have no way to transport it. I don’t want to be ‘that guy’, but in this situation, the thing we really need is money. Money so we can get hot food (like fast food or deli food), toiletries, socks, undergarments, summer shorts, and T-shirts and shoes.
Yes, homeowner’s insurance will pay us, but that is weeks away, and we kind of need to eat today. I politely decline people’s inappropriate donations. But then I get this GEM. Lady PM’s me over social media, and tells me to call her, so she ‘can help.’
The conversation goes like this, and she texts me pictures of what she has.
‘I have some old furniture you can have. It’s in my garage.’ I decline it because my post clearly said I have no car and this stuff (old mattresses and stained couches, and broken dressers) clearly needs to go to the dump. We are in a hotel. No way to pick it up. Nowhere to put it.
Then she asks me how soon could I pick it up. And ‘Could you rent a storage place for it?’
Then she tells me if we need clothes, her dad died a few years back and she has boxes of his clothes from N. Dakota. What am I going to do with jackets and sweaters and old 1980s clothes like tracksuits?
Again I politely declined.
Lastly, she offers us food. I stupidly think maybe she can get us a gift card to the supermarket. Nope. She has open boxes of ‘cereals that her grandkids didn’t like’ and cans of clearly expired food. How about a 4-pound can of pickled beets?
I’m getting tired of this. She wasn’t going to take ‘no’ for an answer.
‘I’m only trying to help.’ I went off on her and told her (with some anger in my voice), ‘I’m sorry. I can’t use anything you have.’ And then she said to me, ‘Well, what am I going to do with it?’ And I said (too much anger in my voice), ‘Put it out for bulk trash pickup.
It’s garbage!’ And then I hung up.”
20. AITJ For Not Wanting To Help Raise My Husband's Children?
“My husband Rich and his ex-wife Ivy had an awful divorce which was finalized several years before we met.
They had two children, a 5-year-old boy, and a 6-year-old girl at the time when we met.
I had absolutely no qualms about any of this, am easy to get along with, and have never been the jealous type, so I was happy to meet Ivy whenever we got to that point. Once Ivy found out about my existence and stalked me on social media, I received an insane phone call from her out of the blue one day.
Stating that I’m a delusional jerk and if I think I’m going to ‘play mommy’ to ‘HER CHILDREN’ then I have another thing coming. I reassured her I had no plan or desire to ‘play mommy’ and all she did was scream. That I don’t deserve to meet her children and I’ll never be welcome in their lives.
I tried to reassure her but nothing got through.
Eventually, I did meet the children but Ivy had encouraged them to be… beyond awful. You wouldn’t believe the phrases that came out of these children’s mouths towards me that were clearly coached, all kinds of slurs and 4 letter words. Just being absolutely hateful and insane and beyond the pale, literally crapping in my purse!
Taking scissors to my clothes! I would not have believed a 5 and a 6-year-old could or would behave this way until I saw it for myself.
Rich and I tried but there was no changing any of this because Ivy was coaching the children. And she seemed to truly believe I was desperate to ‘play mommy’ and replace her.
Eventually Rich and I decided that when he had the kids I’d just go back to my own condo. Ivy has dual citizenship with a country that is known for protecting its own citizens when they hide their children there from a non-citizen parent so he just wanted to placate her. A few years went by and the entire situation got worse and the kids acted out MORE as they got older.
I was getting harassed by an elementary school child (she sent clearly coached videos saying the most explicit insults towards me).
Despite all this somehow the relationship worked between Rich and me. He and I decided to marry and I kept my condo. We’ve now been married for two years and I haven’t seen his children more than a couple of times.
Guess what now Ivy has remarried a man who doesn’t like her children, so NOW she wants them out of her hair! She wants Rich to take them more and now she specifically wants ME to ‘DO MY PART’ in caring for these children! She states that it’s abnormal to be a stepmother and ‘NOT BOTHER TO LIFT A FINGER TO HELP’ raising children.
Even though I am married to their father I still want NOTHING to do with these children and will still go to my condo on the days he has them, AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Not Apologizing To My Sister-In-Law After My Comment About Her Divorce?
“I (28 F) am married to Damien (29 M). We met at University and started off as friends – but he asked me out not long after.
Neither of our families knew about the relationship at first since we didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea if it didn’t work out. After a few months, we agreed it was time, and I met his sister ‘Cara’ (33 F).
Cara automatically had an issue with me, saying that the fact we kept it a secret said ‘enough about where our relationship was headed’, and this sort of behavior continued all the way until I and Damien got married.
Her jabs and insults evolved after that, saying that our marriage wouldn’t last, or that I wasn’t good enough for him, or that she was surprised we were still together. For some more context, Cara got married young, and apparently, the relationship was pretty loveless, so I always assumed she was a little bitter.
Anyway, as you’ve guessed by this point, we don’t like each other very much.
She recently got a divorce, and me and Damien went to his parents’ house to see how she was. I had been planning on staying quiet and letting them have their moment before leaving with him, but then Cara asked what I thought about the situation (basically asking if I thought she deserved this, if her husband was in the wrong, etc, nothing relevant to the story)
In a moment of pettiness, I said ‘I’m not surprised your marriage didn’t last’. Referencing of course the amount of times she’s told me similar words.
She went livid, screaming at me and Damien to leave, which we did. Damien was annoyed at me after, saying that while we had our differences, that wasn’t the time for that.
I ended up apologizing to him when we got home because I genuinely hadn’t meant to say it when I did, but I still stand by my words and refuse to apologize to Cara because what I said was true.
My in-laws have been messaging me asking me to apologize, saying that I’m heartless for saying what I did while Cara was grieving, and that I should be the bigger person and own up.
I stand by what I said (even if I hadn’t meant to say it), but honestly, I’m wondering if I should just apologize to be done with all of this.
So, AITJ?”
18. AITJ For Not Having A Relationship With My Dad's Wife?
“My dad remarried multiple years ago. He’s a service member so he really hasn’t lived with his wife, rather she visits him during the brief stints that he’s not deployed somewhere.
I try to spend as much time with my dad as possible, he invites me to stay with him every weekend and we have a very strong relationship, he just likes having me around.
This year I started college and have stayed with him during my breaks, he also drives to visit me and sometimes takes me back to his home for the weekends.
I don’t have much of a relationship with his wife, we’re not on bad terms or anything like that, we just don’t really communicate at all and simply have no relationship.
Because of this, when I’m with my dad my stepmom doesn’t visit and rather waits until my break is over to stay with my dad.
In a couple of months, my dad will retire and move to his wife’s home state. We won’t be able to see each other as frequently but I understand and am ok with that.
My dad started to make plans with me to have me visit him during the next Christmas break, I was excited to travel, see him, and maybe visit some other family that lives in that state.
That night I noticed my dad seemed to have some sort of argument with his wife on the phone when I went to use the desktop computer I noticed that he left his social media up, I didn’t mean to pry but noticed my name being mentioned, I read a message from his wife that she was upset that he had invited me for the holidays, that they haven’t had a lot of time together, and that she is not ready to compete with me for his love and attention.
I know I shouldn’t have read those messages, but have I done something else wrong? I don’t try to monopolize my dad’s time, I just want to spend time with him, he invited me to visit him. AITJ for not having a better relationship with his wife?
My dad will probably not tell me any of this, he’ll either invite me regardless or make an excuse why I can’t go this coming holiday after having already invited me.
I don’t mind but his wife’s comments about this have me feeling confused as she always projects an image of being supportive about my relationship with my dad.”
17. AITJ For Telling My Parents They Can't See My Son Until They Acknowledge His Gender?
“I (34 f) and my husband (35 m) adopted a child 7 years ago.
My son B (16 m) is transgender. Me and my husband love him to bits and pieces. He came out to us when he was 15 and we supported him ever since.
My family has a strong connection to summer, and every June, we host a party to celebrate the coming season, taking turns on which family is hosting.
A couple of days before the party, B sat me and my husband down explaining to us that he wanted to tell the rest of the family that he was trans. We had no problem with that, but we let him know that he will probably need to explain it to them. My family has never really spoken about the LGBTQ community so I wasn’t sure of their opinions.
Fast forward to the party, after dinner, B asked everyone to sit down in the living room. He came out and mostly everyone was happy, except for my parents. My mother burst into tears, claiming that ‘God won’t allow her granddaughter to be taken away like that’ and my father went up to my son and started to yell a bunch of things along the lines of ‘We can’t accept this’ ‘You’ll always be a girl’ so on so forth.
My cousins and siblings said nothing. B began to cry, and my husband led him away from the room to calm him down.
I lost it on my parents. I yelled at them, telling them how I can’t believe they were so disrespectful to their own grandson and his decision. Hearing me refer to him as ‘grandson’ must’ve ticked my dad off, because everything just escalated from there.
Stuff from years ago and old disputes were brought up, and it was so bad that the gathering just ended there.
After the party, I got a message from my older brother and my cousin telling me that while my parents were rude, I took it too far by fighting with them in front of the other family members.
I admit I probably should’ve kept my cool, but what they said really made me mad.
Two days later, my parents gave me a surprise visit, asking to see their ‘granddaughter’. I firmly corrected them ‘That’s your grandson’ but they just brushed it off with ‘She’ll get over it soon’. After that remark, I told them they would no longer be welcome at my house until they acknowledge that their grandson exists.
My mother yelled at me ‘You can’t enable this bad behavior’ and that my son being ‘confused’ was a result of me and my husband’s bad parenting. I stuck to my word and eventually just shut the door. Word got around and my extended family is telling me that I’m going too far over a simple miscommunication.
It’s been a week and we haven’t talked since.
So, AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Not Letting My Partner Cook In In My Airfryer?
“I’ve been a vegetarian since I was a little kid. Once I made the connection that chicken nuggets were actual chickens, I was and am very grossed out by meat. Now I don’t push that on anyone, I just personally can’t get passed the idea that it’s a dead body.
It genuinely disturbs me. I’ve also struggled with disordered eating for most of my life so having food safety is very important to me.
My partner who I live with is very aware of all of this, and we use separate cookware. She’s been mostly understanding of this and I’ve never told her she can’t have meat (obviously that would be really controlling) I just ask that we keep our pans separate and she doesn’t put meat in my air fryer.
It’s something I owned before we moved in together and I do a lot of my cooking in it. To tell the truth, I do 95% of all of the cooking for both of us, and she doesn’t mind eating veg when I cook.
Well, today I caught her putting a bacon burger in the air fryer as I was coming home from work, thinking I wouldn’t catch her.
I got really upset. She knows how I feel about cross-contamination and that I’ve asked her not to use it for meat and she’s agreed. Now she is angry at me for being too particular about food. To me, it’s a violation of trust. I know it may not be that deep to her, or maybe even you reading this.
But I must stress, I really really need a safe space for food. It’s important to my recovery and just my peace of mind. I’m sure most wouldn’t care for a severed human thigh in their air fryer, and I feel the same way about bacon burgers.
Edit – I came home with ingredients to make dinner for us, and now I’m at the park eating takeout alone.
The last thing she said to me before I stormed out was that she was going to start using all of our pans. Not sure how I’m going to address that when I get home.”
15. AITJ For Stopping Visiting My Biological Mom?
“My dad has always had primary custody and I (16 f) stayed with my bio mom on weekends.
When I was 4 I was supposed to stay with her once for a week when my dad and stepmom went on their honeymoon.
My dad is white with blonde hair and green eyes. My bio mom is Latina with darker skin and hair. I am a carbon copy of my dad except I have my bio mom’s curly hair.
My bio mom always hated that I looked like my dad so on the first day she and another lady dyed my hair dark brown and made me get a spray tan. I used to be allergic to a lot of stuff so I broke out in hives after the spray tan and instead of calling my dad or a doctor, she gave me Benadryl every few hours until my grandparents showed up and took me (my dad sent them because my bio mom wasn’t answering his calls).
My dad went to court after that but she still had me on weekends.
Fast forward to when I was 9 my bio mom started bringing her partner and his kids to her house when I was there. His kids were 6 and 2 and I was expected to share everything with them. There was this stuffed animal and blanket that my grandma made me when I was 8 and she died a few months later so I was really attached to the bunny and blanket and used to take them to her house.
Her partner’s 2-year-old wanted them so she made me give them to her. My dad was able to get them back though. After that she told me I wasn’t allowed to come over if I couldn’t share and play nicely with my ‘new sisters’ so I stopped bringing clothes and toys that I liked so it wouldn’t hurt when her partner’s kids wanted them.
Then they moved in. She had a 3-bedroom house so I assumed her husband’s kids would get the guest room and I’d keep my room. But apparently, her husband’s kids needed their own rooms so I had to sleep on the couch.
Then they got married and I wasn’t invited because it was in Mexico and she wasn’t allowed to leave the country with me.
My stepmom was always there for me though. I used to come home crying every Sunday and she was always there with freshly baked cookies or brownies and a new toy or dress or something to make me feel better. Then we’d curl up in my bed and talk and watch movies. So now I call her my mom and I stopped visiting my bio mom when I was 12 but we still talk occasionally.
My bio mom called and said that she felt bad for not seeing me in 4 years and asked me to stay with her for a week after she moves into her new house. The thing is, my stepmom and I are gonna go on vacation and the week that she gave me falls during that vacation.
My bio mom started crying that I’ve always loved my stepmom more and I started yelling that my stepmom never made me feel like I wasn’t part of her family. My bio mom claims that she’s always treated all of her kids equally.
I feel kinda bad and the family on her side that I still talk to is mad at me so I wanted to know if I was the jerk.”
14. AITJ For Not Trusting My Wife To Take Our Baby Out Of The Country?
“My wife and I have just had a baby and my wife won’t let my parents see the baby until her mother does. My wife and her mum used to be very close but three months into the pregnancy her mother passed away. It was very sudden but peaceful and in her sleep.
My wife was devastated which was to be expected because they would talk all the time about the baby and how excited they were. The issues started closer to the delivery date. My wife and my mum are close as well (obviously not as close as she is with her own mother) and so she had invited my mum to be in the delivery room with her.
When her mother died she told my mum that she didn’t think it was fair if she was there when her own mother couldn’t be. My mum was understanding and so was I. Then she said she wanted to name the baby after her mother if it was a girl. Her mother had a very unique but pretty name so I gave into that demand as well.
Now we have had the baby, it’s a girl and I love my daughter so much. I am so proud of my wife for going through this even after the loss she faced. Now this is the issue, my side of the family has been trying to meet the baby and my wife won’t allow it.
She says her mother has to meet the baby first. What she means by this is that she wants to take the baby to visit her mothers grave. This wouldn’t be a big deal if her mother was buried in our country.
My wife’s family is African and so when her mother died she flew the body back and had her buried in her home country because that’s what her mother wanted. Due to the global crisis and the healing process my wife won’t be able to travel with the baby for the next 3 to 6 months at least. This means that my family won’t meet my child until she is almost a year old when they live just 30 minutes away.
I tried to explain to my wife how absurd and unfair this demand is but she said what’s unfair is that my family will have the rest of their lives with our daughter while her mother will likely only meet the baby once because the flight is expensive and long and she doesn’t go back to Africa often (once every 5-7 years).
I told her that with the way she was acting, I didn’t trust her to take the baby out of the country especially because she won’t let me go with them. She says this is between three generations of women in her family and that she just wants to spend time with her mum and her daughter.
When I implied I wouldn’t let her leave with the baby she blew up at me, called me a jerk, and said she would divorce me if I ever tried to control her like that again. I love my family and I know she’s grieving but I would be lying if I said I was comfortable with the situation so, AITJ?”
13. AITJ For Not Giving My Grandparents' House To My Brother?
“I (f 29) was raised in a traditional household.
With that came gender roles that were ingrained in me at a young age. My granddad however hated that my parents taught us this way and as I got older I did too. Because of this, I became very close with my grandparents instead of my own parents. I also have an older brother that my parents labeled ‘the second king of the house’.
For more info (important) my grandparents lived in a beautiful house that had no neighbors, many trees, and a garden. They paid off the house after years and was very special to them. My granddad also had bad problems with his back and a condition that would get worse until he couldn’t go on anymore.
After my grandmother passed he got worse and ended up needing at-home care. He didn’t want a stranger in his home so that wasn’t an option (I think it was due to my grandmother passing). My parents preached that it was punishment for all his sins so they wouldn’t take care of him and were planning on putting him in a home.
I decided to stay with him since it would just be easier, my job can be worked effectively at home and he’d get care from someone who isn’t a total stranger.
In the time I took care of him, we filled the home with the love and laughter my grandmother brought to it.
As my granddad got worse not a single call. Not from my mom, or dad, or my brother. We were joking about it once and he said ‘Maybe I should just give you Missy (the house’s name, LOL) instead of your dad, he’s just gonna give it to your brother anyway’. He laughed after he said that so I assumed he was joking.
Fast forward, the worst happened. I was the one who found him. Had to make the call. All of it. As much as I was pushed away from my parents I didn’t want them to find out the news from a random person. The funeral was the first time I ever truly connected with my parents in years.
We hugged and cried together and we were all vulnerable. But then it came time for the will.
Now it wasn’t some telenovela with all the dramatics but it was intense. The house that was supposed to be my dad’s became mine as well as many other things that my dad planned on giving to my brother.
I was accused of manipulating my granddad into giving it to me and my brother was just yelling.
A week after my brother came to the house in tears. He was begging me to give him the house since his was too small for his wife and baby. He argued that because it’s just me and my husband and we don’t want kids I don’t need it.
I told him to leave and felt horrible. I feel like a jerk and so does my family. He’s right I don’t need the house, my job pays me a good amount and I could easily just live somewhere else. On the other hand, though my granddad wouldn’t want him OR my dad to have it.
I am at a loss here. AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Being Mad At A Sales Rep For Calling The Cops To Do A Welfare Check On Me?
“I (32 F) began buying products from a local representative before I even knew what an MLM (Multi-level Marketing) was or the predatory practices they engage in.
Eventually, this knowledge, coupled with increasing stress and financial issues, caused me to stop replying to her right away when she would reach out over social media to ask if I wanted any more products.
I began making excuses and saying things like, ‘Not right now, I will get back to you on that.’ She would accept it at the moment but would always reach out a week or two later asking again.
Eventually, I stopped replying to her over social media. She would then message me, text me, call me, or comment on my social media posts asking me to check my messages.
Embarrassed and frustrated, I blocked her on social media a week ago.
Two nights after I blocked her, the police are knocking on my door to do a welfare check because they received a report from a ‘concerned friend’ who hadn’t heard from me in a few days. I immediately knew it must have been her and I was FURIOUS.
I called her and asked, and she confirmed she did and said she was glad I am okay. I went off on her, reaming her out for embarrassing me (I live in an apartment building on a busy street, so many people around saw the police knocking on my door), for refusing to take the hint that I didn’t want to talk, and for wasting police time and resources on something so stupid and trivial.
She got really quiet and kind of sputtered out an apology and said she didn’t realize and would stop contacting me. I was so angry at the time, but now I feel like maybe calling to yell at her might have been a jerk move. I talked to a few friends, and while one is on board with what I decided to do, the other two said a text message would have sufficed. AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Throwing Up In the Car?
“So, the other night I (37f) was out with friends.
We went to a wine tasting plus a 4-course dinner. We had a designated driver for the 5 of us. We had an awesome night, tons of laughter, good food, etc. It was my first time trying mussels and while I wasn’t a huge fan, I ate what was on my plate.
At the end of the night, I ask if I can sit up front because I’ve been known to get car sick after eating and one friend (let’s call her Sally) said she wanted to sit up front because she gets motion sick as well.
I wasn’t too worried at the time so I got in the back and was feeling ok until the DD started going quick around some turns. I told them I wasn’t feeling good and they all laughed it off.
About 4 minutes from my house I said ‘Hey I think I’m gonna throw up, please pull over!’ and again they just laughed. Well, I was right.
I had no time, I just threw up in my mouth, I tried to swallow it back down which made it worse. I ended up ruining my jacket because I didn’t want to make a mess in my friend’s car, so I used the jacket to vomit into. They all got quiet after that and drop-off was weird with them not saying much to me as I left. I did get sick a few more times at my house and my husband thinks I possibly had bad mussels, but I’m not sure.
The next day I received a text from the DD saying she needed me to pay to have her car detailed inside and I asked why because I know I didn’t get any on her seats because I checked before I closed the door to leave. She told me it was a precaution because she’s been grossed out since it happened and wanted to make sure it was all clean.
I denied paying for detailing as they wanted like $300 to do it and told her I would clean the back of her car myself if she wanted. She said it was the detailing or nothing so I told her I wasn’t paying it.
Now all the others are calling me a jerk and Sally told me that I was being petty and I probably made myself throw up because I didn’t get the front seat.
I tried telling them that I offered to clean the car but they don’t seem to care.”
10. AITJ For Calling Out My Husband's Favoritism Toward His Daughter?
“My husband and I have 2 kids. His daughter is a really amazing little girl that’s really smart, I love her. However, we had our son 3 years ago and he doesn’t give enough attention to him, not as much as he does his daughter.
It’s always his daughter he made with his wife before passing away.
I’m so frustrated. As an example, each night, he goes to spend a lot of time, like almost an hour just playing with her and stuff because ‘I like daddy with me, he’s so fun’.
Meanwhile, my son keeps waiting for a bed story before his father comes but only spends half the time he spends with his daughter.
Like only 30 minutes before my son sleeps and he leaves.
One night, 2 years ago, she had a nightmare and she woke up yelling. He came very quickly to comfort her, he stayed 3 hours ago with her just comforting her, he was even crying with her and kept repeating ‘Shh don’t worry, I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you, I promise’.
But then the same thing didn’t happen when our son had a nightmare, he stayed with him for only 50 minutes before going to bed. There is clearly a huge difference in treatment.
There are more and more examples and cases of this. When she was going on a trip with her friends, he put a lot of food and lunch boxes in her bag… etc.
He clearly loves her more than he does my son and it’s unfair.
I talked to him about this and told him that his daughter keeps hogging all the attention from my son and he was so angry, he denied it and said that ‘he only gives attention as much as one needs’. He also said that I’m acting like a jerk for ‘talking about his daughter like this’ and doesn’t want me to talk about it ever again.
Like what? I was only stating the obvious because it’s obvious.
AITJ?
EDIT:
Info: My son is only 3, he doesn’t know it but as his mother I can know that he is treated very unfairly because I’m aware.
I can assure you that I call his daughter our daughter in real life, I love her and I care for her.
I only called her ‘his daughter’ here to show that she’s actually his daughter from his ex-wife since you guys don’t know that. That’s all, again, I love her and I really care for her. I would have made this post even if she was my biological daughter and not my stepdaughter, you know.”
9. AITJ For Getting In Between My Employees' Fight?
“I am the manager of a small team who works in web design. I try to be the fairest I can but I’m an older white guy so sometimes I just don’t get it.
I do my best to educate myself when I get things wrong.
One of my employees, let’s call her Carla, has been here for ages. She’s been on the team longer than even I have. I often look to her for guidance on some of our legacy stuff.
Another one is Kim, a fairly young hire, who started with us last year.
Kim has recently had a major health scare, which led to her undergoing chemo and, very recently, a double mastectomy. She’s kept me up to date on everything, and I’ve been doing my best to be supportive and give her all the time she needs to heal.
Kim is still healing from her surgery, but said she wanted to get some normalcy back in her life, so returned to the office this week.
Usually, she wears baggy sweaters now because she says she’s cold all the time now, and her scars are still fresh and healing, so fabric touching them would hurt.
It seemed like her return was going well, until I walked by Kim’s desk, where Carla was standing, talking to her with her voice raised. Kim looked really upset, so I went over to see what was wrong.
Apparently, Carla and Kim were in a boardroom setting up for a conference when Kim bent over to pick up a wire or something, and the neck of her sweater opened and Carla could see in. She was telling Kim that ‘no one wants to see that’ and ‘just because she doesn’t have them anymore doesn’t mean she doesn’t need to be modest’.
Kim was on the verge of tears, so I sent her home so she could get herself together.
I told Carla what she said was inappropriate and that I didn’t want to hear about her bullying Kim again. Carla got very angry and said ‘It’s nice to know who your favorite still is’ and told me that because I’m a man I shouldn’t be commenting on issues between women like modesty.
I didn’t think I was a jerk here, but I now have a meeting with HR about gender sensitivity and favoritism. So, can you help a guy out?”
8. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Brother To My Intimate Wedding?
“My fiancé (26 M) and I (24 F) decided that we wanted to elope this June after being engaged for a year.
We want a beach setting, and we found a really good price that allows 20 people. With just our family, it equals about 18 which is perfect.
Here’s the problem. I have two brothers, the oldest is 32, and the youngest is 21. I’m inviting my older brother (R), but do not want to invite my younger (C)
For context, my parents divorced when I was 8 and C was 5. My mom became a singer working mother and I had to make sure I and C got to school, got a ride from school, and made sure he was fed. I went to all his sports games and supported him with everything. I would’ve taken a bullet for him.
In the last couple of years, C has made living with him horribly. Due to the global crisis and losing my job, I had to move back home and my mom was thrilled. I’ve offered to pay rent and other things, but she refuses and insists I get done with school. I’m in nursing school so I’m very appreciative.
I try to help with dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc. C is not in school and works 12 hours a week. He’s the messiest, most arrogant, most ridiculous person I know. He won’t lift a finger and constantly attacks me and R. He has attacked me saying I’m lazy, selfish, and a loser. He degrades me with everything, such as when I was discussing guns with my mom and he comes in and says ‘Don’t act like you know anything about it, you don’t know anything’ and does that with everything.
My dad recently passed unexpectedly and it completely devastated me. Due to his will not being valid, has made quite the legal battle with his new wife and has put a huge stress on all of us. We’ve all butted heads but we’ve never taken it personally, or so I thought. He has told me to ‘get over it’ (my dad’s death) and to ‘stop being so dramatic’.
C has been blaming me and R for everything. We just spent this last Christmas together and C screamed at us, called us selfish, and refused to go bowling with us, even though it was the one thing my mom wanted to do. He left on Christmas day with my dad’s things and completely broke my mom’s heart.
Of course, she forgave him right away, but me and R haven’t.
After two years of putting up with him saying very uncalled-for hurtful things, I’ve decided that I am done with him. My birthday just passed and he completely ignored me, which was the last nail in the coffin for me.
My mom forgave him instantly (without him being sorry about it at all) and after talking eloping the details, she wants me to invite him saying ‘he’s just mad right now’ or ‘this will blow over eventually’.
I told her I’m not letting him off the hook just because he’s blood and he’s been bullying me for years now. She’s blaming his outbursts on grieving my dad but he has been this way to me long before that has happened. She’s starting to make me feel really bad about it and I don’t know what to do.
I’m trying to stand my ground but I know it’s going to hurt my mom since she wants a family photo. I have a feeling it might damage our relationship.
So AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Bailing My Son Out Of Detention?
“My wife is on a business trip so I’m alone with our son who is almost done with 5th grade. I got a call at work from his teacher yesterday that he was caught using his notes on a quiz that didn’t allow notes, and she wants him to stay an hour after class tomorrow (now today) to think about what he did.
The punishment was fine, the timing wasn’t. We made a reservation to have dinner with his grandmother today right after school. She’s coming to town for her friend’s retirement party tomorrow and it’s the first time we have seen her since pre-2020.
Both she and my son were really looking forward to seeing each other and she’s leaving the morning after the party, so this is too last minute to change or cancel now.
I tell his teacher this and ask to do this literally any other time, I ask for before school tomorrow, lunch, or just some other day. I am refused each time and she fails to give me a good reason (just that it’s ‘more effective’ tomorrow and that actions have consequences and he’ll just have to see her next time) I tell her ‘Sorry, but it just won’t work after school’ and she says if he is not there he will need to take two detentions.
I hang up and call the principal about it and he sided with her. I was so infuriated.
After work today I drove to school to pick him up because like I said, he isn’t taking detention today. I hit the buzzer and the lady at the mic asked the reason for my visit. I panicked for a second and said I had to speak to the principal if he had time (bad idea in hindsight) she clicked the door open and I speed-walked to my son’s class (she tried to tell me I was going the wrong way but I ignored her) I walked in and told my son it’s time to go and the teacher tries to stop me.
‘You can’t be in here! It hasn’t been close to an hour’. I tell her I don’t care. I told her today wouldn’t work and he will be serving his detention tomorrow.
We leave and the lady who helped me in shook her face in disgust as we walked out. We made it to dinner just in time.
I kept my phone silent until we got home and I saw several calls from school phone numbers and an email from the principal saying he was ‘very unamused by my disturbance’ and that my son will need to serve his detention tomorrow (Literally what I wanted from the get-go). I replied back ‘See? It wasn’t so hard to just reschedule it after all.
He will be there tomorrow.’ My wife thought I was out of my mind when I told her the story over the phone. AITJ?
ETA: For clarity, my son is NOT off the hook about what he did. He is being punished for his behavior and told why this is wrong and he will be serving detention tomorrow.
If the school was not so stubborn about WHEN he had to serve it there would not be a problem to begin with.”
6. AITJ For Causing A Coworker To Get Arrested?
“I am a nurse, and one of the doctors on our team, ‘Zara,’ just got promoted, so she planned a night out for all of us, including me and my partner ‘Olivia’ who is also a nurse. Olivia and Zara don’t like each other but as the whole team was out we decided to make an appearance.
Zara is often rude to Olivia at work and is always picking on her. She calls her ‘useless’ and ‘an idiot’ and in the past has played pranks on her such as hiding her things after a 12-hour shift.
Zara is a huge fashion snob. She’s the sort of person who shows up to work in a dress and heels before changing into scrubs and then changes back when she leaves.
When she got wasted she was teasing Olivia about her outfit, calling it ‘cheap’ and saying ‘you must be embarrassed dressed like that in public.’ We both told her to shut up.
Later I was at the bar and Zara came up behind me and started saying I should ditch ‘the ugly idiot’ and come home with her.
I told her to go away but she wouldn’t, so I called a bouncer to get her away.
Zara got dragged out, but she was crying and kept trying to push past the guards to get let back in. Eventually, they called the police on her and she got arrested.
Zara was released without charge in the morning.
But on the work group chat she put up loads of bad stuff about me and Olivia, including saying that the police ‘harassed’ her because of us.
If the police did harass her, I would, of course, regret that, but what she actually said was that the police confiscated her heels and jewelry. She said having to take the stuff off was ‘humiliating’ and that it was my fault.
I am now being criticized by everyone on the group chat for letting Zara be ‘humiliated’.
If Zara thinks having to spend a few hours without heels and jewelry on is ‘humiliation’ or ‘harassment” then she’s an even bigger jerk than I thought. She’s now trying to say that I ‘risked her career’ by letting her be arrested.
She was trying to bully my partner and was flirting with me to torment her. I told security to get her away and they did. It’s not my fault she didn’t just leave when she was kicked out.
AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Taking My Wedding Ring Off?
“I (23 F) am married to my husband (25 M) for 5 months now and I have been wearing my wedding rings daily and rarely ever take them off.
However my husband is a different story, he tends to take his off for work (it’s a very manual and in-the-sun type of work) so I don’t mind when he takes it off. He also takes it off when showering, sleeping, or tends to forget to put it on so when we end up going out for the weekend he almost never has it on whilst I have mine on.
It’s been brought up amongst his friends that because of his forgetfulness to wear his ring, it’s as if he’s single again in a joking manner. I’ve asked him if maybe his ring doesn’t fit or needs adjustment and he’s declined saying it fits just fine. I even asked him if he doesn’t like wearing it which he denies and says he does.
However it still kinda bothers me when I’m around him that he almost never has it on. Because I decided yesterday during the Fourth of July to not wear mine even though we were meeting up with family for a barbecue. He didn’t notice until his brother mentioned where our wedding rings were.
I stated that I just decided not to wear mine today just to make an excuse to cover the real reason why I didn’t wear them.
My husband, after the barbecue, asked me why I really didn’t have them on since he knows I love my wedding rings and never take them off.
I flat-out told him that if he refuses to wear his ring then why should I wear mine? He got really upset about it and has now refused to talk to me and I can’t help but think I took it too far by not wearing them and telling him I didn’t want to wear them if he doesn’t either.
So am I the jerk here?
PS. This has been going on for the entire five months of our marriage. I think I’ve seen him wear it a total of 11 times in the span of these five months.”
was it petty to tell him as long as he leaves hos off you will
Leave yours off? Yes however what's good for the goose is good for the gander as they say
4. AITJ For Telling My Husband To Apologize To My Friend For His Passive-Aggressive Behavior?
“My husband has never once been jealous or insecure before and is usually super nice and charming to everybody he meets. So, this whole thing feels like it came out of nowhere.
I used to have a childhood friend called Sam who was my neighbor/the son of my parents’ friends. I hadn’t seen or spoken to him in years until this recent trip to see my parents.
I was really happy to see him again and my parents invited him and his parents for dinner. My husband and him have never met each other before but my husband has met his parents.
My husband was being uncharacteristically cold towards him the entire dinner. Sam asked me if I wanted to go to a diner we used to always go to as kids for old times’ sake the following day.
I should’ve realized there was an issue then because my husband sarcastically agreed that we should all go.
We went and the entire time my husband was being passive-aggressive toward Sam. At one point Sam mentioned how it was nice we were moving back to the country and if we needed help finding a house, he could help since he’s a real estate agent.
My husband implied he wasn’t good enough to find the type of house he would buy. Sam laughed it off but I think the comment bothered him because when we were leaving, he asked me if my husband was always like this and he said he was surprised I had married someone like him.
My husband also kept touching me but it felt like it was all for Sam’s benefit since PDA makes me feel shy/embarrassed so he never does it normally.
When we got back to my parents’ house, I called him out on his behavior and told him he should apologize to Sam. My husband said he wasn’t going to and I told him he was being a jerk and acting insecure and jealous.
He told me he didn’t have anything to be insecure or jealous about, but continued to refuse to apologize. The more I asked him to, the more annoyed he got. We ended up arguing because I wouldn’t drop it.
AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Not Telling Partner The Real Story Of How We Met?
“In high school, I (25 m) had a crush on a guy named Jax. Not having the confidence to approach him in person I decided to write him a note confessing my feelings with a poem (Yes I was that guy in school) As well as asking him to meet me under the football bleachers if he returns my feelings.
The plan was to put the letter in his locker. But I ended up being too nervous and had my friend Beth do it instead.
The thing was she ended up putting it in the wrong locker having put it in the one next to his. As if that wasn’t bad enough our school-assigned locker was based on first names rather than the last name so the locker she put it in also belonged to a guy named Jax.
I didn’t realize the mistake until the other Jax show up under the bleachers.
I wanted to reveal the mix-up. but before I could the other Jax started telling me how beautiful it was and how much he loved it talking about how he couldn’t believe someone felt like that about him. After that, I didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth.
We ended up making a date because I was too nice to tell him the letter wasn’t for him
When I revealed to my friend what happened. She convinced me to go on the date and once it was over tell him I didn’t think it was going to work.
It would likely still hurt him but not as much as him knowing the truth.
This Jax wasn’t necessarily my type at the time. I had a thing for the jock type and Jax was more the theatre nerd type.
But as it turn out our date went great. I and this other Jax had a lot in common. We made plans for a second date then a third and after that, we officially started going out.
Once Jax and I got together I swore Beth to secrecy and made her promise to never reveal the truth about the note. Jax had a lot of insecurities issue at the time and I was terrified of how he reacted if he knew.
Jax and I have been together 8 years and we currently planning our wedding.
(We got engaged 4 years ago but due to the world closing down had to postpone our wedding)
Beth who became good friends with Jax over the year thinks that before we get married I should tell Jax the truth about the note. As she knows how hard it is to live with the secret.
But I know this will hurt him.
Jax loves what he thinks is our how we met story and will tell anyone who will listen about it how I put a love note in his locker and how it was so romantic. He even still has the note.
Beth thinks I’m a jerk for keeping it from him. But I’m scared about how he will react if he finds out the truth.
Edited: Beth has made it clear she has no intention of telling him herself.”
Sit him down reaffirm how much you love him and that you are pleased it happened now...
But you cant marry this guy knowing that the way you net was completely by accident.. explain it to him but may e leave out the he wasn't your type etc as if he still has the insecurities it's going to set him back, explain that the note was meant to go in a different locker however it ended up in his by mistake.. however you DO NOT regret it and haven't since the day you had your 1st date.
If you are planning a life together your relationship should be able to get through this without any issues.. if it can't then maybe you guys shouldn't get married yet
2. AITJ For Giving Our Child A Name Without Informing My Wife?
“So my wife and I (27 F and 29 M) recently had a baby. A sweet baby girl, an absolute ball of joy. We started discussing names a few months before she was born, but we kept getting into arguments because we just couldn’t come to an agreement.
I’m a traditional man, I like traditional names with a rich history and profound meaning. My wife on the other hand wants to name our child something unique, something that literally no one else on earth will think of.
Some of her suggestions include Hoohee, Joejie, Yabba, and Buza. Anyone can see that these names are absolutely ridiculous, and she will probably never land a respectable job.
By the way, we’re both Caucasian so these aren’t cultural names or anything. I suggested some names like Amelia, Ella, and Sophia, but she said that those were ‘too common’.
We put off the topic of names for a while, but naturally, after she was born, we started talking about it again. She insisted on the name Buza but I absolutely refused. I told her no one will take her seriously with a name like that and that she was just pursuing the novelty of a unique name without thinking about what actually works for her.
I saw that she was completely set on the name that she chose and there was no way I could convince her otherwise.
So the next morning I went by myself to register our daughter’s name because I was worried my wife would go and do it first. I chose a really pretty name for her that wasn’t too old fashioned and I thought my wife would be okay with it.
But when I got home and told her, she was furious with me. She said I was a jerk, but I think she’d be the bigger jerk for giving our daughter a name that could ruin her life.”
1. WIBTJ If I Don't Sign The Contract My Stepmom Made?
“So, my partner and I (early 20s) are about to relocate to a new city. As a student just finishing up, and a student just starting, we will have a few weeks without a place to stay once my housing contract ends this week.
We are working on setting up a flat (and a job for me) but it will probably take some time. Pretty much every family member living somewhat close by has offered to have us stay for a bit during this time.
My dad and stepmom have a gorgeous flat and will also be spending most of the time we need somewhere to stay abroad.
So we thought their place would work well.
We have dinner with them at the weekend to ask formally to stay there and have a key. Something I had mostly forgotten about, since I was actually given one week after I had stayed there in the past, is that my stepmom would want us to follow a ‘contract’.
Nothing to do with money. It’s more behavioral. Like she mentioned cleaning the place to a certain degree, not hanging clothes where people could see them, and not entering their bedroom. I thought these were all normal requests, but my partner was super weirded out that she needed a signature on a document.
Then I remembered some of the other things on the old contract.
I must shower once a day, delivery is a security risk, must wear a new clean shirt every day. And at dinner, they joked about how they made my brother have a similar contract that dictated he must sit down to pee… he was like 30. But my sister never got one because ‘she’s too organized to need one’.
My partner and I nodded along at dinner. I’m now supposed to get a train back to see my stepmom again, tomorrow when she will write up the contract and I have to sign it in front of her. If my partner wasn’t working that day, he would have to sign too.
When discussing after, my partner thought it was ridiculous, infantilizing, and controlling.
But I should sign so we can use the flat.
I had no idea this was weird, it was normalized to me. Asked a few friends. They also say it’s borderline insane. So, is it? WIBTJ if I just… don’t sign it? We can just stay with my mum or his parents.”
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