People Are Eager To Know What We Want To Say About Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
35. AITJ For Secretly Moving Out?
“I (25 M) am a lineman for an internet service provider. I moved out of my parent’s house 2 years ago into my own apartment. During this time I worked night shifts for an internet service provider as a lineman. I would frequently work from 10 pm until 7 am or 12 am until 9 am.
When it came to renting, my contract was that I would pay rent every two months at the request of the landlord. The apartment was 4 1/2 style one it had 2 bedrooms, a living room, and a kitchen along with a single bathroom. I would frequently have my partner over as she shared a similar work schedule.
Our date nights were us just making breakfast/dinner together and the occasional ‘Netflix & chill’ time however we would normally just sleep together.
Everything changed six months ago, things changed when my twin brother and two friends who also happened to be twins decided to follow in my stead and move out for the next University semester.
For two months they had no issues in their own apartment. This was when I got they pleaded with me to let them move in for two months so they could find a cheaper apartment as they were worried about inflation.
I agreed to let them move in for two months as long as they respected these conditions;
1:Everyone must contribute to the apartment costs and groceries
2: Everyone must help with chores and cooking
3: When I got back from work there was to be a 5-hour quiet period in which guests were not allowed.
The exact timing would be given a week in accordance with my work schedule.
The problems began in the second month, it started with the twins quitting their jobs at the request of their mother. Then their mother began to visit every 2-3 days and would always come during the quiet period. There were even days she would knock on my door to wake me just so she could talk with me and once she straight up entered my room.
Aside from the visits, they all began to game with voice chats so that it would frequently wake me up. When I tried to remind them of the rules only to be met with excuses. At the end of the month, I was met with the worst surprise. Behind my back, my and the twin’s mother decided that the current living situation would be permanent.
I was having none of it, I secretly made preparations and plans with my partner so that I could move in with her. I had no choice but to move out as the sleep deprivation got to the point that one day I slept at a truck stop as that was the only way to get good sleep.
When the twin’s mother planned an impromptu trip to their cottage I seized the opportunity and within a day I moved out. I left a note saying that I would no longer be living there and that the current rent has been paid. The next rent period and utilities are theirs to handle.
Am I the jerk for moving out when I know they can’t take care of themselves while putting the burden on my and the twin’s parents?”
34. AITJ For Talking About My Pregnancy Complications During Dinner?
“So I (22 F) am infertile. It’s kind of a long story as to why, but the short of it is that I was pregnant and it damaged my body so badly I had to have a full hysterectomy.
So I can’t have kids, but I have never wanted them anyway, so it isn’t a big deal to me emotionally (for the most part).
What does grate on me is when I tell people I’m not having kids and they push me about it. (I don’t outright tell them I can’t have kids usually because that is personal and seems unnecessary.)
Recently, one of my friends got engaged, and at the engagement dinner (family and close friends) the topic of kids came up.
Eventually, the conversation turned to me, and my friend’s mom asked me how many kids I wanted. I gave the typical answer, ‘Oh, I’m actually not having kids,’ and expected it to end there.
It didn’t. Instead, she pushed me, saying things about how she was sure I’d change my mind, that she didn’t want kids when she was younger either, etc.
My friends started looking pretty uncomfortable at this point bc they know about my infertility.
Eventually, (after trying repeatedly to obfuscate, change the subject, etc) I told her ‘Even if I wanted kids, I can’t have any’ and then proceeded to tell her why in great detail. (Including the pain I went through losing the pregnancy, like, all of it).
Obviously, this made dinner very uncomfortable. I chose to remove myself and politely told my friends goodbye.
Since I left (yesterday), I have gotten a barrage of texts/calls from my friends telling me what a jerk move that was, that I didn’t need to share such personal info, etc.
I don’t think I’m in the wrong here, mostly because her mom had plenty of chances to drop the subject and leave me alone, but she chose to push instead. My inability to have children is my own thing, and it makes me mad that people won’t just leave me and my childlessness be.
But I did share some pretty grotesque stuff, so I don’t know. AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Having To Fly To New York For My Treatment On My Significant Other's Birthday?
“I (19 f) have been with my current significant other (20 m) for about 7 months. I won’t sit here and brag and say we have a glitzy fairytale relationship, but I love him. I feel we both do our best with what we’ve been given (unfortunate situations).
I’ve been dealing with a rare form of cancer called fibrolamellar carcinoma in the lungs since I was 15 years old.
A lot of my trauma stems from this. In the past two years, it has thankfully become a lot more stable. But it doesn’t change the fact I still suffer daily, whether it be from treatment symptoms or the mental side effects. I really really do my best to make sure it doesn’t affect my relations with other people and I seek therapy and self-care to cope.
A really important thing to note is that I live in Florida and I travel to New York every month to receive treatment for about a day. They’re the only ones who can treat my extremely rare form of cancer. I’m on clinical trial for the most part as ordinary oncologists tend to avoid patients like me.
Unfortunately, there was a decent amount of growth in my last scan, enough for my doctor to recommend that I be moved to a more aggressive treatment. Unfortunately, this requires me to travel to New York for a biopsy, an MRI scan, and a new treatment. This unfortunately was unexpected, and so happened to align with my SO’s birthday.
When I told my SO this, he did not take it very well. My SO for the most part has been understanding of my cancer journey so far in the months we’ve dated, but this situation extremely hurt him. He will not accept the fact I have to go, even so much as saying that he doesn’t know if he’d be able to forgive me if I went.
I am absolutely shocked at this reaction. I cannot control when the surgery happens or push dates, as delaying another week could have significant effects on my tumor growth (my doctor asked me to get off my treatment until a new treatment is given to prevent substance mixing).
Now my SO is offering me an ultimatum: either I ‘fix’ things on my end with the hospital, or our relationship will ‘seriously suffer and change’.
This ultimatum is shocking and hurtful. I tried to compromise by celebrating everything the weekend before I needed to fly out but in his words ‘it doesn’t mean anything unless it’s on his actual birthday’. I feel I have my hands tied and can’t fix this scenario and it would be really nice to understand a different perspective.”
32. AITJ For Not Wanting My Half-Siblings To Join Our Ski Trip?
“My parents divorced when I was 7 and my brother was 5. Mom remarried within a year and her husband had kids who were a couple of years younger than me and my brother. They also had two more together. My brother and I split our time evenly between Mom and Dad. Dad made sure to keep some of the old stuff we did together as part of our lives.
So we still did our summer ski trip and we still did a beach weekend too. There was other stuff too like a movie all three of us were excited for we’d make a day thing out of it as guys.
Mom’s husband started getting sick when she was pregnant with my youngest half-sibling. He was diagnosed with some autoimmune disease that is highly treatable and he was doing okay, then his back started giving him trouble and it turned out to be arthritis in his back and then an issue with his blood came up.
Because of that, and because of the number of kids they had to support, finances were very tight, and my brother and I came out the best of it because we had a dad who was willing to pay for activities for us without mom needing to pay, and he would make sure we always had good clothes and stuff.
My mom asked him a few times to think of our step and half-siblings. He would send some stuff but he was pretty clear he wasn’t going to start treating them like his own, or like part of his family.
My mom’s husband (and I call him that because I have issues with the guy and do not consider him another parent) has been worse lately.
He uses a wheelchair some of the time, he struggles to do anything for himself right now and they are checking him for more potential conditions. He was in the hospital for a couple of months after they thought he had a stroke (but he didn’t).
Mom asked Dad about our stepsiblings coming along on the ski trip with us this year.
Since they have been the worst affected by all of this (abandonment issues from their mom, their dad being sick so much, and living in a house where all four of the other kids have their bio parents very present in their lives). She did ask about our halves too but pushed less for their inclusion.
I didn’t want them taken along on that so I was glad when Dad said no. He talked to my brother and me after. Said if we wanted them he would say yes. But neither of us did. We came up with an alternative.
I brought it up to Mom and she told me it was a lousy thing and would show that we were giving them scraps instead of inviting them to the table.
I said the trip with my dad was something for him with us, his boys, and we liked the tradition of it being just us. She talked about kindness, compassion, and family and how we should all be banding together as siblings. I said I didn’t want to include them in the important stuff with my dad, ever. My brother said more or less the same stuff.
Mom thinks my brother and I are selfish and mean-spirited because of this.
AITJ?”
31. AITJ For Agreeing That My Sister Should Get Out Parents' House?
“My parents have three children me (37 F), sister (35 F), and brother (26 M). My sister and her family live very close to my parents and she has been taking care of them for the past two years since their health started deteriorating. For that, my parents decided to give her our childhood home, and my brother and I would get a smaller apartment and share the earnings from the sell equally.
I live over five hours away from my parents with my husband (38) and son (3). I tried to visit us often as I could to help out but my husband kept complaining about having to take care of our kid though I never complained when he would go on trips with friends and leave me alone when our son was a newborn.
Honestly, I have a lot of resentment toward him for how unsupportive he was while I was taking care of my sick parents. My brother lives only two hours away from our parents but he never visited to help claiming that he was too busy, as if my sister and I weren’t.
We lost my mother two weeks ago.
Yesterday I returned home from work to find my brother there sitting with my husband. Long story short they had talked and felt it was unfair that my sister get the house while we only get a small apartment and wanted us all together to speak to my father about it. I refused, told them I had already spoken to my parents about it, and agreed that my sister deserved it for taking care of them.
My brother didn’t take it well and accused me of always loving my sister the most, prioritizing her above everyone, that even my own kid and husband came second to her. My husband agreed with him and I was furious and called them both entitled, greedy, and selfish and that I was perfectly capable of giving my son a good life without stealing from his cousins.
I threw my brother out and threatened to cut him out of my life if he brought up the inheritance to our grieving father.
Afterward, my husband and I fought more. He argued that we could use the money, that I needed to put the family I made before my sister, what would our son think in the future when he found out I essentially gave away money our family could use because I always loved my sister and nieces more. But we own our apartment, have no debt, and both have high-paying jobs and good savings. We don’t need the money and I believe that when our son finds out about this in the future it will be a valuable lesson in choosing family over money.
So, AITJ?”
30. AITJ For "Ruining" My Friend's Wedding By Not Lending Her My Wedding Dress?
“This friend and I (25 f) used to be friends in elementary school and she was known to be very untrustworthy. Would forget to give you back things she borrowed until you gave up, would say one thing and then backtrack and say she never did, start false rumors, that’s sort of stuff. We fell out of touch in high school and I got married back in 2017 to my late husband.
She recently messaged me on social media complimenting my wedding photos. I told her thank you and we chatted and caught up. She told me she was getting married soon. I said congrats and asked about details and if she had picked a dress to be polite.
She said ‘That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about.
We are on a super strict budget right now and I was wondering if you would be kind enough to lend me your dress to wear’. I told her I appreciate the compliments but that I didn’t feel comfortable lending her my dress. That it was very sentimental and I just didn’t really want anyone else to wear it.
She freaked out and basically blamed me for ruining her wedding that I’ll be the reason she won’t have anything to wear or will go broke finding something. That I’ll never wear it again so I should let another poor bride feel pretty. And that she thought I was nicer and less selfish. And that I was seeing someone new so why does it matter if I have my late husband’s and my old wedding clothes?
This is where I may be the jerk.
I got mad and told her that she wasn’t entitled to my dress just because she was poor. That her financial problems aren’t my problem. That me having my old wedding outfits is my choice and that I frankly just didn’t trust that she would give it back to me. She got upset and said she changed and that she doesn’t do that kind of stuff anymore but I blocked her.
Her fiancé then messaged me saying she was very upset and that she was depressed about me saying she was untrustworthy. But I blocked him too.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Partner's Niece Free History Lessons?
“I (28 F) am a high school teacher, specifically I teach History and I supplement my income by offering private tuition to my students and the local community as a whole. I’ve been with my partner (30 M) for the past two years and we are moving in together in a few weeks.
My partner has a niece (11 F) who will be entering high school after the Summer holidays are over.
Now this might confuse some of you who have different education systems but here you start high school at age 11-12 and are there for six years. It’s basically a combination of middle school and high school for you Americans. She’s a sweet kid and I like her a lot, my partner and I often take her out on fun day trips.
Her parents are rather a lot and have a lot of expectations of her and her education so my partner does his best to give her time to just be a kid.
His sister recently approached me wanting me to tutor her in History so she can get a head start on the other kids. This surprised me but I assured her that there was no need for that and that she’ll do fine and that it would be better to wait until she actually starts high school to worry about that.
I told her that when her daughter is attending the school if she’s struggling or needs help I’ll be happy to help with homework or give mock test papers to practice with and if she needs extra help then I’ll even give a discount on my regular tuition rate I normally charge £35 an hour but for them, I’d knock it down to £20.
She was very unhappy with this and asked why she’d pay her brother’s partner to do this, and that I should be doing it for free to help them out as we’re basically family. I explained I know that but the time I give her daughter would be the time another kid who’d paid full price would have taken so a discount seemed reasonable.
She caused a big fuss insinuating I didn’t love her daughter or view her as family, how if I did I’d want her to do well in school.
I admit I got annoyed here. I am very aware of how unhealthy the amount of pressure she’s putting on her daughter is but it has never been my place to throw down on that matter however she said herself we were basically family and was being demanding so I thought it was time to deal some harsh reality and I made it clear that by pushing her daughter so hard she’s hurting her education more than helping it and that her daughter is a clever and lovely girl but if she carries on this way by the time her daughter has grown up she may have a strained relationship with her and regret it.
She left furious and embarrassed shouting some more as she left and got in contact with my partner after this. He thinks I went too far and yes his sister is a lot but that I should have kept my cool and dealt with it better. He even suggested I should tutor his niece a little for free and just teach her fun things. I told him that wasn’t going to happen as his sister would just push if I gave any opening and besides that, my time is worth being paid for.”
28. AITJ For Saying I Don't Care About My Sister's Pregnancy?
“I (M 28) married a bi woman. My family is heavily religious, so any gender other than ‘straight’ is demonic. My SO was pretty close with my sister-in-law and thought it would be okay to confide in her about her sexuality. My sister-in-law took that as my SO wanting to sleep with her. The rest of the siblings ganged up on us and started spreading all sorts of horrible rumors about my wife and me afterward based on this lie.
It was a messed up situation, and we severed ties with everyone besides my parents because they were very accepting of my wife’s sexuality. My parents also tried to stop the spread of lies, but it was too late. My sisters never wanted me or my wife alone around their kids, even before we left the family.
They thought we were bad influences because of our lifestyle – which was mainly being inclusive and accepting of people regardless of their religion, race, gender, etc.
Whenever we would try to see my nieces or nephews, one of their parents would always be supervising, even if it was just kicking a soccer ball around in the backyard.
After we disconnected, I lost the ability to care about any of my siblings or their kids. They didn’t want us around. They didn’t want us around their kids, so I kept my distance and only kept in touch with my folks.
Last week, I got a text from my mom saying that my sister was pregnant.
This was kid #4. She said I should call them. I told her that I didn’t talk to any of my siblings and that she should know to not press the issue, but she kept pushing. So I told her that I didn’t care about my sister being pregnant because it’ll just be one more kid who I’m not allowed to be around.
I said that they never wanted me or my wife around their kids when we were still involved with the family, so why should I congratulate them for something that I’m clearly cut out of?
She made it sound as if that was the most hurtful thing to say and said I was being a jerk about it. Should I have congratulated them regardless?
AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Confronting A Parent For Making My Daughter Do Chores At Her House?
“My daughter Cassie (16) has a friend Sarah (16). Sarah is the eldest in a big family, the parents have only been married a few years and they both had kids going into the marriage and have 2 additional kids together. There’s one kid that’s definitely adopted as well. Sarah is the mom’s bio daughter but beyond that, I’m a little unclear on the relationships, the bottom line is that they have 2 babies and 6 kids from 10ish-16.
Their house is huge and has land around it, but per person, it’s smaller than ours and their lifestyle is at or slightly below ours financially. But I’m sure maintaining the house and the land and feeding that many kids take more work than our 3-bedroom/3-person family.
Sarah’s parents are stricter than us definitely. I’ve let Cassie spend the night there a few times.
The past few times she’s gone over there, I think/hope she helped clear her plate and such but otherwise not really done chores except things guests do normally. But this time, in the morning her mom made them breakfast and then said ‘Okay it’s chore day, if you do it together you can get it done twice as fast.’ Sarah took it in stride but Cassie felt awkward about it so she didn’t say anything but felt like it was weird and uncomfortable and just not how she wanted to spend her Sunday morning.
At one point someone else made a comment about her being ‘part of the family now.’ The implication was that she’d slept over enough times to not be treated as a guest.
I don’t normally get involved in this kind of thing but I was honestly confused so I did call Sarah’s mom and she reacted like I’d demanded to know why I made her precious princess take her plate to the kitchen.
She said that Cassie could have sat it out and I said that that would have felt rude to her and Sarah’s mom said ‘Well… yeah’ (the implication being that while she would have allowed Cassie to sit it out while Sarah did her weekly chores, she would have thought it was rude of Cassie). And I sort of agree that it would be rude, but it’s a weird expectation to place on her in the first place.”
26. AITJ For Saying That My Dad's Passing Doesn't Affect Me?
“My dad passed away when I was almost 2 and because he died when I was so young I don’t remember him and never actually grieved. His death doesn’t affect me in the slightest, just because it’s as if I was born blind or deaf. This is the only life I know so I really can’t get sad about it.
I had a great childhood, my mom and grandparents always made sure to make me feel like I’m not missing out on anything. Usually, people still feel sorry for me even when I mention that I was 2 when he died and that I don’t remember him.
Yesterday the topic came up in a conversation with one of my friends’ mothers who didn’t know.
I told her the same thing that I tell everyone, that I was 2 when he died, and that it’s completely fine, and I’m ok. It doesn’t affect me. She got weird after that and asked me if I don’t care that my dad is dead. I said, I do care, it’s not like I don’t care that my dad is dead because he was my family, but I can’t force any feelings I don’t have.
I respect him and go visit his grave when I can with my family, but it’s not my fault I don’t have any memories attached to him. As I mentioned before, I had a good, happy childhood. I’m pretty lucky in life and also privileged. My friend’s mom told me that my saying I’m not affected by his death is very cold of me and that I shouldn’t be so insensitive about it.
I had no idea what to say so I just acted like I got a phone call and left.
I don’t know many people whose parents died when they were really young, like 1-2 years old. Are you supposed to be sad even if you don’t remember them? Am I an outlier or something? I’m usually a pretty emotional person who is very in touch with their feelings, but why would I fake my feelings?”
25. AITJ For Being Offended On My Son's Behalf?
“I lost my 15-year-old son ‘Travis’ to cancer 2 years ago. His stepdad (my husband) had known and lived with him for 3 years of his life. When my son passed away my husband arranged for 2 funerals (one in the town we live in and another in his hometown) and hosted a charity event in his memory.
That reassured me that he adored Travis and saw him as his own.
Now I recently found out that I’m pregnant with my first child with my husband. My husband was beyond thrilled he hosted 2 dinner parties, one in our town and the other in his hometown with his family. We were staying at a hotel but spent some time with his family before dinner where we broke the news.
At the restaurant, while everyone was eating, my mother-in-law was talking about the baby and made a comment along the lines of ‘Let’s pray that my grandson will have similar traits to his stepbrother (she was referring to Travis which was nice of her)’. My husband chuckled and said, ‘Well, I don’t know but I’m telling you that at least this one will be smart’.
I was baffled completely. I glanced at him and he still had a smile on his face like he didn’t just insult my son.
I was fuming inside, I apologized to my mother- and father-in-law then I said I was going back to the hotel. My husband asked what was wrong and I told him he just insulted my son, his stepson.
He leaned back and insisted I sit back down because I was over exaggerating but I refused to listen and went back to the hotel. He came and blew up on me saying I embarrassed him in front of his family by walking out of the SECOND dinner he arranged for ME to celebrate MY pregnancy just because I took ‘offense’ to him saying he expects his child to be smart.
I replied that he insulted Travis’s intelligence with his comment but he said that his ‘jab’ or whatever I CHOOSE to call it was directed at Travis’ biological dad and his intelligence but that still doesn’t change the fact that he thought Travis was stupid. He said he had it with me and told me to get over myself then started basically stone-walling me.
Am I overreacting? Did I have the right to get offended on my son’s behalf?”
24. AITJ For Continuing To Visit My Late Best Friend's Grave On Our "Wedding Anniversary"?
“My late best friend and I knew each other since we were little. We were next-door neighbors and always played together. We even went to the same kindergarten, primary school, and middle/high school together.
One day during our sophomore year, we started talking about how most of our classmates had started being together. We obviously weren’t okay with that and decided to get one up on all of them by getting married.
As a joke, I made her a fake ring and she gave me her scrunchie.
A few weeks later, a wasted driver hit her. She sustained multiple injuries and was in the ICU for 2 months, the doctor told her family that her survival chances are slim. The only time I talked to her before she died, she made me promise to always visit her on our ‘wedding anniversary’ and to wear her scrunchie during the visit.
4 years ago when I started going out with my partner. I told her about it and asked if she was okay with it. She commented about how sweet and nice the tradition was and told me she was perfectly fine with it.
Today was the 10th anniversary and I took the day off before my partner went to work she told me it’s time to put this tradition to rest and move on because it was starting to get pathetic that I still wear a dead girl scrunchie to celebrate a fake marriage that we had 10 years ago.
I was furious at her comments because she wasn’t just a ‘dead girl’. She was my best friend and like a sister to me, we grew up and did everything together. I told my partner a long time ago that we never had a romantic relationship and that our wedding was just a joke. It’s not like I talk about her or keep her photos around the house or anything similar.
The only times I’ve talked about her to my partner is when I told her if she was okay with the tradition or if she asked me about her.
When I told her that I’ll keep honoring my best friend’s dying wish even if it made her uncomfortable, she left for work angry at me and hasn’t come back home yet.”
23. AITJ For Not Catching The Garter?
“Friday was my older sister’s wedding. It was a nice wedding and I enjoyed the ceremony. However, the reception I just found unpleasant. I have really bad social anxiety and it was like a big party and I just felt out of place, suffocated, and embarrassed.
After my sister did her bouquet toss, they did a game and we started prepping for the garter toss.
I had never been to a wedding before, and really all I know about weddings are from TV and movies which is why I knew about the bouquet toss but not this.
So they did this weird ceremony thing where my brother-in-law took off my sister’s garter. He was blindfolded and had his hands tied behind his back so he did it with his teeth.
Honestly, this was really gross to watch. Like it was weirdly inappropriate and it’s my sister.
So after that, they called up all the unmarried men for the garter toss. I did NOT want to do this. It’s a kinda ‘sultry’ article of clothing that’s been tied to my sister’s sweaty thigh for an hour and a half.
However as the men were going up and I tried to stay behind with my parents, my sister Kanye’d the mic from the DJ and called me out by name and said all unmarried men.
So I shambled over and was in the crowd like 15 men deep. I figured, there are like 6 guys here that are well above 6’ tall and I’m barely average height, they’ll get it before I do.
So my brother-in-law throws it and it’s like the garter is attracted to me. It’s falling right towards me and I jump out of the way and it hits the ground. Another guy dives for it and we move on.
Now today, my sister is mad at me. She told me that it was a jerk move and I was being extremely dramatic to dive out of the way of the garter. She accused me of trying to kill the vibe at her wedding by not having fun and was really upset with me over this.
AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Not Letting My Sister And Her Husband Into My House?
“My partner, ‘Emily,’ is a food content creator. She loves what she does and her food is always tasty. If she decided to open a restaurant, she would always be fully booked. She does not do professional catering, but she likes to prepare food for friends and family.
A few weeks ago, my sister, ‘Paige,’ wanted to host a dinner party for her friends and family.
8 guests. She asked Emily to help her design an elaborate course menu. Eventually, this turned into Paige ‘hiring’ Emily for a night to prepare and cook all the meals. Paige paid half of the agreed amount and promised to pay the remaining balance by a certain date.
Emily spent days prepping, cooking, cleaning, etc. to make sure the dinner was perfect.
She spent the entire day at their house prepping and she also helped Paige clean the house in preparation for the guests. At first, she says that she was overwhelmed, but nothing she couldn’t handle. She was alone working in the kitchen.
The guests arrived almost two hours earlier than Emily was expecting. According to Emily, my BIL (sister’s husband,) started to brag about their new ‘exotic maid’ that they hired because of this event.
He went on, mentioning how hard it was to understand their ‘maid’ because of her ‘accent,’ or how ‘obedient’ she is. My sister lives in an open-plan-style house, so Emily could hear all of these things in the kitchen. Emily was incredibly uncomfortable the entire time. As soon as she finished, she left.
I asked Paige and my BIL to apologize but they refused.
To make it worse, Paige has not paid Emily the rest of her promised money. Every time we call, text, email, etc. she straight up ignores us. I assumed that they had blocked us on all social media, messages, etc. It’s gross and I am so upset with them.
A couple of days ago, Emily posted a new food-related video.
It was very good and looked very tasty. About two hours later, my sister and her husband are outside my door, in the pouring rain, asking to come in. I was confused, but I assumed that maybe this was their way of apologizing. I did not let them in, I just opened the door a little.
I was wrong.
Paige mentioned how she saw Emily’s post and wanted to come to try it for herself. I was stunned. Not only was I disappointed in them for not apologizing or paying Emily, but I was also shocked by the ridiculousness of their thought process; they would show up for free food like nothing happened (ignoring the fact that Emily doesn’t upload her content on the same day she makes it.)
I asked Paige or my BIL to apologize and when it was clear that they were making excuses, I said goodbye and shut the door in their face. They sat outside, with no umbrella or a rain jacket, for almost an hour, calling our names and spamming our doorbell.
I got a call from my BIL, demanding me to apologize because I got Paige sick. Emily thinks I may have been a bit too petty.”
21. AITJ For Refusing To Financially Help My Friends?
“I (21 f) and my (24 m) significant other are child-free. Due to us being unemployed at the moment and not living together, we don’t want to have children. I don’t want children even if we were financially stable.
We are the only people in our friend group who don’t have children. Are friends are between the ages of 20-24.
Our friends have always been unemployed. They tried for children when they didn’t have jobs. Each one of their pregnancies happened within 3 months of each other. So 5 friends have had babies within 3 months of one another.
I have been unemployed since September but I’m the only one in the friend group with a savings account with a good bit of money.
Not enough to just hand out though.
Now I’ve told my friends before they ever got pregnant that I don’t deal with children and that parents should provide for their own children. They understood until they started popping them out.
Recently a few of them have asked me if I had the money I could give them for medicine, diapers, and formula and have even been asked to babysit.
I’ve said no because if they had jobs and saved their funds like I told them they wouldn’t have been in this situation.
They could have helped themselves by getting jobs, saving funds, and getting out of their parents’ houses before trying for children.
My SO thinks I was a jerk because I could have been nicer about it but I said how I felt before they even had children.
It’s not my responsibility to provide money to people who didn’t want to help themselves or their children before they are even born.
A few have also said I would be a jerk because their babies needed these things and ‘I’m putting my hatred for children above their actual needs’ but I don’t think it’s my responsibility to provide for children that aren’t mine with things the parents should have saved for.
Edit: I don’t work due to a knee injury (a not fixed dislocated knee cap) along with having an ongoing cancer scare that I’m not getting answers for. I live in pain every day and to feel ‘normal’ I have to take 5-6 Advil morning and night just to function. I do work for family and neighbors so I’m not just sitting around doing nothing.
Also, I didn’t snap at them right away. I was asked around 6 pm one day while I was out to eat at dinner and I originally told them no and that I’m sorry that I don’t have the means at the moment to help. They kept asking and even called a few times. They kept asking until 2 am that night and both my friend and her SO were asking if I could at least send (each) $5 on PayPal.
I don’t understand why they both needed $5 each. I also do not have any funds in my PayPal account. Any amount I receive through it is cashed out and put into my savings account right away due to a fear of getting my card stolen.”
20. AITJ For Telling My Sister She's Too Judgmental And Controlling?
“I (19 m) live with my parents (47 f and 52 m) and younger sister (15 f). We’re going on vacation next week and she’s talking about a great running trail near our hotel. She says that she wants to run there every morning and that the rest of us should run with her. My dad agreed to run with her just to make sure she was safe, but now she’s dragging me and my mom to run with her as well.
I’d rather work out at the gym in our hotel and do both cardio (e.g. elliptical) and free weights or pull-ups. My mom doesn’t really like to work out rather than going for walks for fun. Though my sister is saying that if someone eats a lot on vacation but doesn’t do enough cardio daily they’ll get fat.
I said that there’s cardio in the gym, but my sister said that it’s not enough and that the exercise equipment is bad. She’s always had a condescending attitude, and now she’s trying to control me. She insisted that I bring my running shoes and that my mom buy running shoes so we can all run together, and she was talking in an annoyed, arrogant tone, so my mom and I didn’t really try to argue with her.
Also, both my sister and I have Instagram, and she is really concerned about her social media reputation. We have many mutual connections on Instagram (mostly from our high school and church), and she doesn’t want to be embarrassed by what I post on my social media. She’s really hypercritical and will criticize everything I post.
Like I just take a pic, caption it, and add it to my Instagram story. But she spends a long time editing it and adding filters and all that stuff. Her Instagram aesthetics are better than mine, and she says she wants to make me show her my story or post draft before I post it, because she doesn’t want people to think that she lives with a ‘cringy, technically challenged weirdo’.
This isn’t the first time my sister is really controlling and bossy. Last year when I moved into my college dorm, she micromanaged how I arrange my furniture and where I put all my stuff because she said she saw cool stuff on Pinterest and insists that she knows the best. I wanted to do things my way but didn’t bother to argue because I didn’t want her to throw a fit in front of my roommate.
Or she demands I text her a picture of what I ate every day on campus. She’s really obsessed with eating and health, and she claims she cares about my health when indeed she just wants to judge and criminalize me. And just in general when she talks to others she has a really demanding, controlling, domineering attitude in her voice.
Anyways it was the last straw, and I said that she was too judgmental and controlling and that she is not the head of the household. Then she screamed that she cares about the family and wants to live a happy life. My parents tried to calm her down, but she said that I need a ‘rude awakening’.”
19. AITJ For Not Paying For The Damages On The Car Trailer?
“Recently, a friend of mine rented a car trailer and asked me for a hand moving a car. When I got to his house it was quite late in the evening and he said he had to go to work and left me at his house with the car trailer. Later that evening when I left his house I decided to move the car trailer into the garage as he lived in a sketchy area and I did not want someone stealing it.
I parked the trailer inside the garage, put the handbrake on, and closed the garage door.
The next day he decided to return the trailer. He attach the trailer to the car and drove the trailer back to the depot to return it. When he got there he said there was smoke coming from the brakes and the owner of the trailer was hysterical that he had caused damage to the trailer.
At that point in time he had discovered that the handbrake was on. The owner of the depot has asked him for $1000 in damages with an extensive list of parts and labor to fix the trailer.
My friend says that the whole thing is my fault because I should never have put the handbrake on because that’s not something he normally does.
I told him that he was an idiot because he should’ve done a safety check when connecting a trailer to a car before driving it.
Also, they didn’t notice while driving that the handbrake was on.
Am I the jerk for not wanting to pay for damages?
This guy lived in a sketchy af neighborhood. One of his cars was stolen from his driveway with a flatbed truck while he was at work (he works overnight 6 pm-6 am) and another one of his cars was broken into and cleaned out and nobody in his area said anything… not even his housemates… that why I moved the trailer into his garage before I left.
Anyway. Is any of this my fault? Should I have to pay for this?”
18. AITJ For Refusing To Pay My Share Of Rent?
“I (19 F) have been living with a close friend (19 F) since last December. We co-signed a lease so both our names are on paper for the place we’re renting out and we pay 50/50 for the rent. The lease was up a couple of months ago but we were still making back-to-back monthly payments due to our agreement with our landlord.
Everything was going well up until a couple of months ago when my roommate started acting differently.
It started off with some small things like when she’d have a bad day at work she would get home and basically take it out on me, which is fine, I can handle minor mood swings. I thought it would just be a temporary thing anyways however, it gradually got worse.
She was constantly mad at me and would look for anything to berate me for, sometimes without even giving a reason why.
Not only that but she kept acting like the place was solely hers. She would say things to mutual friends about how it was her place therefore she had the final say in whatever happened to it or who was welcome and who wasn’t without even consulting me.
I finally had enough so I decided that it was time for me to move out. I gave our landlord my one month’s notice to be out by the end of September and told her about it the next day. She gave the landlord her one month’s notice about 2 weeks after I told her, but by then it was already September so she informed him she would be gone by October.
Even before I gave my notice to the landlord I’ve been staying with a different friend (20 M) so I haven’t been there since almost a month ago now. The other day she messaged me saying that rent was gonna be due for October and that I had to pay ‘my half’ but I told her ‘I’m afraid I can’t do so as I gave my notice that I’d be gone by the end of September.’ She ended up getting mad and saying that this was not fair and that I’m ‘totally screwing’ her over.
I haven’t even been living there for almost a month now so I feel I shouldn’t have to pay for a place that isn’t mine anymore, but I do feel kind of bad about it.
So AITJ for refusing to pay ‘my half’ of the rent?
Edit: We had problems with an ex of mine who had substance problems.
He’s been gone for a while now since we both agreed to get him out as it could have been a problem that dragged us down. She was consulted about him moving in, and in no way did I ever make her feel like she was obligated to say yes to letting him stay with us (me and him weren’t even together when he first moved in) and neither of us knew about his substance problem until after he moved in.
We both agreed he had to go so that’s what happened, the problems started after he left.
I would also like to add that for a short period of time her brother (who’s also an addict) was allowed to stay with us without her even consulting me since ‘it’s different cause he’s family.’ Another thing is we had signed a 6-month lease that started in December and ended in June.
She was considered the ‘primary tenant’ though and we had both agreed prior to moving in together that we only wanted a 6-month lease in case things didn’t work out between us or in case there was a problem with the place.
Neither of us wanted to be tied down to something longer than necessary in case it didn’t work out, which it hasn’t.
After the 6 month lease was up we were doing a month-to-month lease however our landlord said nothing to us about needing to create a new contract. He had no issues with me giving my notice he only said that I had to go through her to get my damage deposit back. This is both our first time renting so that’s why I’m unsure if what I’m doing is wrong.”
17. AITJ For Telling My Coworker His Wife Made A Pass At Me?
“So this happened last week. I have this coworker who is a pretty nice guy and is married to this woman who has no regard for her actions.
She came into the office the other day to say hi to her husband and go for lunch. He was busy dealing with a customer. I offered to take over so they can go ahead and peace out for their lunch and she was like oh it’s okay we can sit and chat.
I let her know that I have work to do so I continue working.
So she continues to sit there then comes closer to where I’m working and is asking me if I’m still with that chick (my significant other). At this point, she’s getting on my nerves and I again ask her to sit quietly I’m busy not answering any questions and giving that woman the time of day.
Then she proceeds to talk trash, like oh you’re too hot for her anyways I knew you two would eventually break up then proceeds to write down her number and slide it over to me.
At this point I got angry. I told her to shut up. My absolutely stunning SO and I are fine, and told her to leave me alone.
This woman didn’t get the clue and continued making remarks about my SO’s weight which again drew me completely mad. I left where I was working and waited till her husband finished with the customer and asked him if he has a minute to chat, so we stepped aside and I told him his wife just made a pass at me and was being a complete flirt.
He got mad with me and called me a jerk and left and when he came back wouldn’t talk to me.
AITJ for bringing it up or should I have stayed quiet ’cause I don’t think he believed me.”
16. AITJ For Not Wanting To Connect With My Late Baby Daddy's Family?
“My (F 28) son’s father James passed away from a brain aneurysm 3 months into my pregnancy. This was our first child and his parents’ first grandchild.
His father’s side was supportive from the beginning. His mother’s side was the opposite. The mother has anger issues and a heavy drinker. His parents are divorced. The day they decided to pull the plug on J I received a text message from James’s mother saying, ‘No need to come here today.
We are pulling the plug and we only want family to be here.’ I still have that message till this day. That hurt me to the core! I was with him for 8 and a half years. My lover passed away on May 27, 2019.
The funeral comes around and I found out I was the beneficiary and that enraged her.
She told the insurance people and anyone who would listen that I forged my name on the paperwork. So, the insurance people sent a letter stating her claim and that they will be doing an investigation. She even hired a lawyer. I just sat back and allowed her to waste her money and let the insurance people investigate.
I paid for everything which cost $17,000. The only thing that I did not pay for was the limo for her. I did not attend the funeral because I knew I would not be able to handle it. I was able to say my goodbyes before everyone arrived at the funeral home.
I had my handsome son on Oct.
29, 2019. I called J’s father’s side and let them know. Then the next day out of nowhere James’s mother and aunt showed up. I grabbed my son, so they couldn’t touch him. Come to find out his brother gave her my information. He knows about everything that has been going on. The first thing out of her mouth was, ‘I asked the nurse if they do DNA and they told me no.’ I just nodded my head.
She then said, ‘Would I be willing to do a DNA test?’ Told her, ‘Sure, but I will NOT pay for it.’ The aunt offered to pay for it.
After a couple of weeks of waiting for the DNA, I got an email while at work about the results and it came back a match. His mother started to call his father’s side talking to his aunt about getting me to speak to her.
Supposedly she was crying and claiming to be so sorry for everything. I didn’t want to hear it. I made it very clear to James’s father that if I found out he was allowing my son around this woman that I will cut all ties with them. He said, ‘He would not risk losing his grandchild behind her.’
Since my son is turning 3 soon James’s aunt asked me if I was ready to allow James’s mother to finally be in my son’s life. I told her, ‘No, and that I meant it about not allowing anyone into my child’s life that didn’t accept him before he was born.’ That woman caused a lot of hurt all for nothing. She could have come about everything differently. Yet she chooses to go down this messed-up path.
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Telling My Significant Other's House We Don't Want To Get Married Yet?
“I (20) and my significant other (21) have been together for more than 2 years and living together for a year in my parents’ house. We pay rent to them so it’ll be cheaper than renting an apartment. My parents didn’t have a problem with that and they are really supportive. They wanted us to earn so we can buy a place of our own.
My SO and I decided that we get our own house first before getting married so that we’ll be settled by then. We are still young and have more plans before getting married.
It’s been months since my SO’s mom ‘forced’ us to get married. She’ll say that ‘it doesn’t look good for people to be living together but not married’.
Every time she says that, I just roll my eyes and not even pay attention. For me, it’s very offensive and inconsiderate of her because she just wants it because ‘IT DOESN’T LOOK GOOD’ and ‘EMBARRASSING’. It’s not like we’re doing something wrong.
Last Thanksgiving, we invited their whole family to have dinner with us. What my SO’s mom said to my parents shocked me.
She said, ‘So next year, they have to be married.’ My mom just laughed. My dad said ‘As long as they are settled, I’m okay with that. We all talked about that. If they have their own house, earned enough to support themselves, they can be married tomorrow if they want to.’ She turned to my mom when she said ‘We don’t have a problem if they are living together.
They aren’t ready yet, and I don’t want to talk about that just yet’. Her answer made me so mad even to my SO. She said to parents ‘It’s not up to you.’ I looked at my SO and waited for him to say anything because everyone on the table can sense the tension.
A few weeks after, we visited my SO’s siblings.
Out of nowhere, she said ‘Tell your dad we need to talk. You guys need to be married by next year. It doesn’t look good living together and you are not married’. I couldn’t help myself and said ‘No. I don’t want to be married to your son yet. We have plans. House before marriage. We talked about it and everything is okay.
If it doesn’t look good to you, then don’t look. You don’t get to decide about that, we do.’ I walked away and went to my SO’s sister’s room.
His sister (17) asked ‘Why do you have to force them to be married and they both have full-time jobs, they are not doing anything wrong? They are not asking anyone for money to support them. You ask him (my SO) for budget for groceries even if we give you all our salaries. You ask him for more and he doesn’t even live here anymore.’ And her response was just ‘Other people know that they are living together and it’s really embarrassing.’
So am I the jerk?”
14. AITJ For Telling My Husband I Won't Leave Our Baby Alone At Home To Pick Up The Dogs?
“My husband (34 M) and I (30 F) have 2 golden retrievers and a 1-year-old daughter. We’ve had the dogs since they were puppies.
Our male dog is an angel, he potty trained himself, crate trained easily, just been an all-around easy dog. Our female dog has been extremely difficult, she’s been impossible to keep home since she was a puppy, and nothing we’ve done works long-term.
They prefer to be outside generally if they have a choice. We live in a rural area on about 70 acres of land. We built a fence around our backyard and built a door that goes into a room in our garage that is heated and cooled. This seemed to keep them happy since they could come inside when they want and be outside with access to a climate-controlled area.
Recently (since we got her fixed) our female has been doing anything she can to run away, digging under the fence, trying to chew through the fence, anything.
Now to the issue, due to the snow that just happened, there are massive snow drifts in our backyard that reach the top of our fence. Our dogs jumped over the fence and went over to our neighbors.
She called my husband and told him our dogs were there, I was home but I was putting our daughter to bed (hence why I didn’t see it or I would’ve stopped them). Our neighbor is an older lady who loves our dogs, she often comes over in the summer with her grandkids to play with them.
My husband called me while I was rocking our daughter so I declined the call, finished rocking her, and then called him back. He wanted me to go pick them up I said I wasn’t comfortable leaving our daughter at home alone to go pick them up. He said it wouldn’t be a big deal for me.
So I called our neighbor and told her the situation and she said she was happy to keep them there until my husband could get there (which would be within the hour). I told my husband I didn’t feel comfortable doing it and our neighbor was okay with keeping them so I wouldn’t be leaving our daughter to go get them. He told me I was being an overprotective mom and I needed to think about how upside-down my thinking was. So AITJ?
I should add, our neighbor lives down the road not right across the road or it would be different, it’s far enough I can’t walk.”
13. AITJ For Not Wanting To Go Camping With My Future Stepbrother?
“I (17 m) graduate high school in May. Since I was a freshman my dad and I have planned on going out west camping for 2 and 1/2 weeks in the summer after graduation, going to Colorado, South Dakota, and Wyoming.
Last summer we were discussing it and my brother ‘Jed’ (15 now) seemed interested. I guess he asked my dad if he could come and my dad later asked me if that was cool because otherwise he’d take Jed on a weekend local trip or something.
I said it was fine since I want to spend time with Jed too before I leave for college.
So we’ve been planning away and picking campgrounds to stay in, trails to hike, and sights to see, we’re all excited.
Last July/August my dad started going out with Bonnie. She’s nice and everything. She also has a 10-year-old son Toby.
Toby’s alright for a kid. He behaves and everything but I don’t really do much with him because we’re obviously not into the same things and it feels like unpaid babysitting more than anything.
Yesterday Jed and I were by our dad’s and he said ‘How would you guys feel if Toby came along on our camping trip? We could maybe hit some amusement parks so he’d have fun too’.
Jed looked at me and I said ‘Um I wouldn’t want him to, I mean it’s supposed to be just us, he doesn’t even like that stuff’.
Dad said, ‘Well Bonnie and I were talking and we’re starting to get more serious and think that it’s important for you all to bond more’.
I said, ‘I don’t want some random little kid coming to a trip we’ve been planning for years.’
My dad said, ‘He’s 10 he’s not a little kid, and he might be your stepbrother one day so you should get to know him more’.
I said, ‘Fine but if he’s going camping then I’m not’. I left and went back to my mom’s because my dad will keep bringing something up/discussing it until you just agree and I didn’t feel like dealing with it.
When my dad brought Jed home apparently he talked to our mom. My mom talked to me and said that Jed doesn’t want to go either if I’m not going. My dad already put in for vacation time and made reservations so ‘maybe I should just go and it will be fun, I shouldn’t back out of something I’ve been looking forward to just because of Toby’.
AITJ for saying I won’t go if Toby goes and planning to follow through?”
12. AITJ For Leaving My Party Because There Was No Vegan Food?
“I have been vegan since I was 22. My partner, who I have been with for 4 years, became vegan when we met, largely because I enjoy cooking but also because it means a lot to me to share this value with a partner. I don’t care about friends/family not being vegan and don’t push it on people, but I was very open about not being comfortable with cooking meat and dairy in my own house, especially if we moved in together.
He totally accepted it and had previously been a pescatarian for a few years so didn’t mind at all — for your information, this was a conversation we had before he even asked me out.
It was my birthday last week. I’m not super close to my family, but my partner is VERY close to his and they’ve always been kind to me the times I’ve seen them.
They wanted to throw me one of their ‘traditional’ family birthday parties which was really lovely of them so I accepted. As we don’t live too close, this meant a trip out of town (about five hours) and staying over.
Now — in the past when we have stayed, we’ve brought our own food with us and I’ve cooked and things have been fine.
I don’t expect people to accommodate me and this is something I will usually do if I expect to be hungry. My friends will still ensure they have some options if I’m around (even just accidentally vegan snacks) and my family has always been careful to get me food that suits me. It’s really kind of them to always think of me.
This being said, I am the same: I have a friend with a wheat allergy and I always make sure I use/buy wheat-free options where needed if they’re coming to my house because I invited them and it’s polite to accommodate a guest.
This time, my MIL said she would take care of everything and I was happy to let her.
Maybe it was stupid but I assumed that as it was my birthday party she was organizing she would have something I could eat there. But. Uh. There wasn’t a single thing on the table that I could eat… She made me a birthday cake, which was lovely and thoughtful, but I couldn’t eat it. I didn’t expect everything to be vegan AT ALL — but almost everyone can eat vegan food, so it wouldn’t be as if my food would be separate from theirs… theirs would be separate from mine.
But all the food there was stuff only they could eat.
I was super confused and upset because my reasons have become ‘moral’ over time but started as a digestive health thing and my partner’s family couldn’t even bring ONE dish I could eat to the birthday party they insisted on throwing. As we were staying in the same house, I found a moment to excuse myself and ordered some food from a local store and sat upstairs eating it.
Here’s where I might be the jerk: my partner came to find me upstairs to blow out my candles and cut the cake, but I refused (I can’t eat it, so how is it my cake?) and remained upstairs for a while with my takeaway. I did eventually go back down and try to join in but the food situation soured the whole thing for me. My partner said at the time that I was rude and spoilt and has said so since, which makes me wonder if I am.
Am I the jerk?”
11. AITJ For Getting Sick And Tired Of My Grandma's Comments About My Outfits And Looks?
“My grandmother has been giving me negative comments on my outfits and looks for as long as I can remember. I’m overweight and I try my best to wear clothes that fit me just right. But, every time I do so, she says they’re ‘too tight’ or ‘they don’t look good on you’. I’m already insecure about my body and how big I am, but she keeps adding to it.
I’ve been, recently, buying my own clothes since I’ve been receiving money. I don’t like it when others try to guess how big I am and buy clothes for me. One time, my grandmother bought me 5X pants, when I’m actually a 2X. She keeps forcing me to wear them when I told her it was wrong multiple times.
‘No, that fits you perfectly’ when they’re literally slipping off me every step I take.
The new outfits I bought were crop tops, jeans, t-shirts, and more. They all fit me perfectly and shape my body well. But, I didn’t want to wear the crop top anymore after she says ‘You’re really walking around in that? Is that even a shirt? Your stomach is showing.’ ‘I know, that’s the point of it.’
Not only does she make comments, she laughs at me when I tell her they feel perfect or I think they look nice.
That laugh makes my blood boil or it makes me want to cry.
Today, I was wearing some loose clothes because I had nothing to do. I wanted to be more comfortable and not worry about looking nice today. I was coming back from throwing the garbage out when she looks at me saying ‘That’s what you should always wear.
Loose stuff and things that cover you. I like it.’ This was my moment of realization that I did not care anymore. I was really tired of it.
I turn to her, ‘Did I ask?’ was my response. I swear, she answered, ‘Screw you, (name).’ I felt good about letting those simple words out. Now that I’m older, I can finally express my annoyance without consequences.
I don’t know if I’m too sensitive about feeling the way I do. I just want to feel like I look good without someone saying something about my weight. And today, was also the day I decided to do something about my weight. I didn’t need a comment like that, it just puts me down.
I know this isn’t as powerful as some of the stories on here. But gosh, it sure felt amazing to me.”
10. AITJ For Not Being Supportive Of My Mom's Marriage?
“My dad had ‘Claire’ from a previous relationship, and married my mom when Claire was 12 and with my mom had my sister ‘Emma’ and I. Claire was not happy about the marriage and has never accepted any of us as family.
Claire is my dad’s favorite child beyond a shadow of a doubt. When it is brought up to him, he doesn’t even deny it.
He simply makes excuses. He has admitted he didn’t want any kids, but Claire was a mistake and my mom pressured him into having us, but Claire never acted like a child.
He always acted like Emma and I were driving Claire away, like when she went to college she didn’t want to visit and his only concern was losing his closeness with her, not that she blatantly hates his wife and two other kids.
She refused to have my mom at her wedding and he still went and paid for it. To be fair he does give us all the same treatment when it comes to money and opportunities, but it is clear he loves her more.
Personally, I think my mom should have divorced him. I would never stay with a man who played favorites with his kids.
I’ve told her that multiple times, but she says she just couldn’t because she loved him too much, and that if she left him she would have ended up as a depressed person and potentially resented her own kids. As a result, I have no respect for their marriage.
Well, it is their 25th anniversary and Emma wanted to throw them a party.
She asked Claire and me to split the cost and Claire agreed, despite hating my mom. I said that I couldn’t bring myself to do it, because I don’t respect their marriage and think my mom should have left him.
Emma said I was being petty. I said I love my fiancé but if he ever treated our daughter like this, I would dump him, so I don’t think this relationship deserves celebration.
Claire told me I was immature, and she loves her kids but her husband is her life and she couldn’t leave him. She said marriage is always supposed to come first and maybe I should call off my wedding if I can’t see that.
Emma got upset because she is planning a very lavish party and couldn’t afford 2/3. Claire said she would pay the extra 1/3, so it isn’t even an issue anymore, but they are both treating me like I’m petty.”
9. AITJ For Not Wanting To Name My Daughter "Agnes"?
“I hated my original name. My family has a really old-fashioned taste in names. For example, my original name was Dorothy and my original middle name was just as old-fashioned. I have never liked old-fashioned names and so I changed it when I turned 18 to something more my style and a name I had used with friends and outside of my family since I was a little kid.
My parents were so upset. My sisters didn’t get it either. They have names that are that old-fashioned style and they love it and they used those names for their kids. Ever since the vintage and old-school names started coming back hard they have brought it up to me that they bet I regret my actions now.
Nope.
So when I had my son, my husband and I gave him a name that is not to my family’s taste and honestly is not a popular name at all. It’s very modern and leans more mature and gender-neutral. But can seem very weird to some also. We’re expecting a little girl now and we have chosen another name that fits our style.
What happened was my grandma died recently and they wanted my husband and I to honor her by naming our daughter Agnes. I said Agnes was not a name we were considering but my sisters were free to have more children and use the name. This became a big deal with them saying I should never crap on names they loved.
I said I didn’t. But I should be entitled to love my name and not hate it, which I did with the original. And I should get to like my kids’ names. They told me it was hurtful to have someone always reject the names they love. I pointed out how they did the same with mine. Then they told me my son has nothing traditional about his name and that will serve him poorly in the future.
I told them to get over themselves and their opinions on names weren’t the only ones that mattered. They told me I was being dismissive and now I’m the jerk in their eyes again.
AI?”
8. AITJ For Making My Daughter Pay For The Broken TV And Stove?
“My husband and I (45 m and 45 f) have 4 kids (15 f, 13 F, 12 m and 11 m). Our youngest daughter has a group of about 7-8 girls in her social circle, they often have sleepovers together.
My daughter went to her friends (13 f) for a sleepover, and there was one other girl (13 f) there.
The friend she was staying with has a twin brother (13 m). After some renovations about 2 years ago, he moved to the basement of the house and made it his ‘boy cave’, he plays baseball and tennis, loves sports, and his room/basement is covered in all sorts of sports memorabilia. The boy also games and has all of the consoles and plays video games with his friends, the basement also has a kitchen which he decided to have it renovated to be vintage.
At the latest sleepover, his sister and the 2 other girls went downstairs, the boy was out of town for a friend’s bday. After the boys came home from the trip, the next night, I get a call from the girl’s mother explaining that her son came back to a broken TV and stove. She asked if I could come over, and the girls were asked to explain what happened.
They started to tell their story, saying it was an accident and that the Wii remote crashed into the TV and they don’t know what happened with the stove. There were inconsistencies in the story. We threatened to take phones away if they didn’t tell the truth, so they told the truth, it was on purpose.
The girls were mad at the boy because he refused to tutor his sister during the school year telling her to just study. The girl ended up failing the year and had to go to summer school. This led her to miss out on stuff the girls wanted to do with her, so this was their revenge.
They purposely broke the stove and purposely threw Wii remotes at the TV. After that, we discussed what we wanted to do. We wanted the girls to split the costs of getting a new TV and restoring the stove.
As we were discussing this, my 12-year-old texted me a picture of one of the Snapchat stories my daughter had posted.
The girls had also mocked him for buying some stuff (like an old big sports water jug) and the clothes he wore (vintage sports jerseys). Since he got some of them at Goodwill (which was his choice, the parents can afford higher-end stores), so we decided to take the boy shopping at thrift stores for the day, while having the girls talk to the people who work in donations and explain why their services were needed.
To cover the costs of the TV and stove, we are making them do chores around the house of the boy (including his chores) and their own homes. They can also mow people’s lawns and do other stuff like that to earn some funds. My daughter called my mom and dad after this and explained to them how it would take her many months to work this off and my parents called me and told me that I was out of line and should pay for the damages without making my daughter do chores because ‘she’s just a kid’. AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Refusing To Give Up My Key So My Uncle Could Make A Copy?
“I (21 F) stay in a two-story home with my grandmother. My uncle owns the house (however does not stay with us), so we both pay rent to him monthly for us both to stay there. We’ve had a tricky situation going on with neither me nor my grandmother having all the necessary keys we need to everything in the house (front door, back door, side door etc).
I’ve been locked out many times due to this. The second story of the house is one big room and pretty much serves as a studio apartment for me. There are stairs going down to the door that leads to the second floor (which is pretty much where my entire bedroom is with all of my personal things).
My grandmother got locked out yesterday due to not having a key to the front door and because I hadn’t answered fast enough this caused a ruckus and my uncle came over yelling demanding I give him a key to the front door (I’m the only one who had a key to it, my grandmother does not due to him not copying the keys when he was supposed to for the BOTH of us) and my bedroom.
I had no problem giving him the key to the FRONT door however I argued that I did not want to give him a door to my bedroom as I saw no need for him to have it. I work from home, so there’s absolutely no time when an emergency would happen and he’d need to come up into MY bedroom by force because I’m not there.
Not only that, but I am very private in general and would prefer to not have the possibility of anyone coming into my room on the rare occasion I go out and am not there.
My mother who doesn’t stay with us has a key so I saw that as good enough for any emergencies because I trust her however he argued that this was his house and if I didn’t give up my key so he could copy it that he would take off my lock completely (which he did).
Mind you, I pay rent every month to stay in this house. It’s not like he can’t get into the house at all, which is why I’m confused about why he got so worked up about only MY bedroom door, to begin with. My mom says that as long as I am under his roof, this is what I have to deal with and I should’ve just given the key up the first time he asked.
I feel as if everyone is making it seem like this is reasonable but I just feel otherwise and very hurt that my family isn’t taking my side on this. I feel like I’m being overly sensitive now.
So, AITJ here?
UPDATE: He has all existing keys in HIS possession. The only key I had was to the front door.
Aside from the front door, we have the back door, side door as well as doors on the interior of the house that lock too. I didn’t copy it because he, the landlord, said he would come over and sit down with us to see who needed keys to what and make the copies himself for us, the tenants. I could’ve made a copy, but that wouldn’t take away the fact that we both didn’t have a key to all other doors.”
6. WIBTJ If I Tell My Late Ex's Wife I Have A Son With Him?
“I was with my first partner (A) from the ages of 16-27. After we graduated from university at aged 25, A moved to a different city for work and we tried long distance but those last two years were not good. We eventually tried seeing other people but for a while, we were sleeping together when he came home.
One weekend, A came home to tell me it was over for good – he had met the woman he wanted to marry. We ended up on good terms and before I moved neighborhoods, I would often see his mother at the market and get on well with her too.
Not long before A and I broke up, I started seeing B who I would eventually marry.
Not long after A and I broke up, I discovered I was pregnant. The balance of probability strongly indicated it was B’s and I guess I sort of buried my head in the sand about the possibility of it being A’s. When my son was born, he looked more like me but at around 6 months, it became blatantly obvious that was A’s son, he was the absolute spit of him.
I told my husband who was obviously freaked out but we are doing good now. I then decided to tell A. This brings us to November 2020.
Sadly, days after I told A, he died in a car accident. His wife was in the car but escaped with some broken bones. I do not know if A ever told her about my son.
I waited a few months after the death and decided I needed to tell his parents as we do live in the same city and the chances of running into them are relatively high. They were initially upset but are now delighted to have a grandson, however, they have forbidden me from telling A’s wife as she apparently still isn’t in a good place.
I haven’t even met her, I saw her at the funeral but obviously, it wasn’t appropriate to talk then. A’s parents don’t believe she knows and think this information could be really hurtful to her when she is in a bad place but I really do think she deserves to know this information sooner rather than later. There will never be a good time and I’d rather it came from me than someone else.”
She is grieving her husband's death! Put yourself in her shoes, would you really want to meet your late husband's ex and be told "I'm so sorry about your loss, by the way, this is his son. Did he get a chance to tell you before he died?" Like seriously? From the sound of it, they didn't even have kids which would devastate her even more to hear that you have a piece of him she will never get to experience now!
The grandparents know-LET THEM BE THE ONES TO TELL HER. I PROMISE you, she will be 1000x more receptive to them than to some stranger (you-because you are a stranger to her.) Let the grandparents know that they can give her your contact information and let her come to you. She may never want to talk to you, or who knows, it could turn out like some hallmark movie and you guys become the best of friends.
Either way, it has to all be on her terms. Any direct involvement from you beforehand will be met with hostility and most likely misplaced anger.
Don't be the jerk that causes her even more pain during all of this.
5. AITJ For Not Helping My Wife With A Game?
“I (25 f) had an unwanted pregnancy from my ex. When I found out it was too late to terminate the pregnancy. So I kept the child.
When I met my wife (23 f) she said she doesn’t want kids. She ended up loving me and accepting my kid.
So to the story. My wife and I love gaming and a few days ago a new game got released.
We always play together when my kid (5-year-old) is already asleep.
Last Thursday she was playing and I needed to go to work. The daycare was closed because of one caretaker getting sick so my child was supposed to stay home. I asked my wife if she can take care of him while I’m at work and she agreed.
While I was at work my mom called me that my dad got into an accident at work and he was getting admitted into a hospital 1 and a half hours from me. It wasn’t anything serious but because of the specific injury, he needed to go to that hospital. I told my boss and he said I should go.
I called my wife and told her about it and said that I will drive there. I asked if she wanted to come see my dad too so we could go see my dad together.
She declined and said she would like to continue her game. I drove home to get my child so we could visit my dad together.
But my kid didn’t want to go. He doesn’t like hospitals and I always him there isn’t anything to be scared about. He still doesn’t like going except if he really needed to or if all of us are going. So I asked my wife if she could continue to watch him while I visit my dad.
She said no because I said she would just need to watch him while I was at work.
I got upset and begged her because I really wanted to see if my dad is okay. I feel like this is a good reason for wanting my wife to watch him. She still declined and told me to take him with me.
I just wanted to see my dad so my kid and I left. I called my friend and asked her. She understood and said he will watch him for a bit.
I drive him to my friend and she said she can watch him for the whole weekend if she needed to.
I went to my dad and then stayed the weekend at my parents’ house.
I called my friend over Facetime every day at least 3 times to talk to my son and see his face.
On Sunday my wife called me and asked when I will be coming back because she was stuck at a part of the game and needed my help. I said I’m not coming home because I want to be with my dad.
My kid wants to see my dad too so I picked him up today to see him. Then we went home. My wife tried to get me to play the game for her but I decline. Now she’s mad at me for not helping her. I see it as if we’re even now. She didn’t help me when I needed her and now I didn’t help her when she needed it.
We had similar fights before but I always just sucked it up and helped her. Now I don’t feel like doing that.”
4. AITJ For Calling My Husband A Liar And Manipulator At His Mom's Wedding?
“My husband’s mom and I (f 26) don’t get along at all. It was fine at first til our disagreements started to get bigger. Our last disagreement was because of her wanting to sell the family house and give her older son more money than my husband. MIL told me to stay out of it and my husband said he was fine with it.
She ended up putting some distance between us and stop inviting me to events. FINE, but I told my husband I expect him to stay home with me when I’m uninvited.
She got married days ago. It goes without saying that I was not invited. I asked my husband to promise to stay home with me and not go.
He got defensive and said that this was his mom’s wedding and there was no reason for him not to attend. I refused to speak to him after a big argument about it and he eventually said that he’d stay home with me.
However, on the day of the wedding, he said he was going to ‘hang out with some friends’.
I was skeptical so I called his friends and they said they didn’t see him. I knew where he was. I felt betrayed and I wanted to catch him red-handed so I got dressed and went to his mom’s wedding. He was actually there. I was fuming when I saw him. He saw me and started following me as I was turning and making my way out.
I yelled at him calling him a liar and manipulator. He tried to get me to quiet down since people were staring but I lost it on him and said that he betrayed the promise he made me and that his word meant nothing to me now. He got defensive saying he really wanted to be there for his mom and at the same time couldn’t handle me being upset with him and giving him silence so he hid it from me.
I told him to get out of my face and went home.
He came back looking mad, saying I made a scene at his mom’s wedding and humiliated him when I started yelling at him. I refused to argue but his family came at me calling me horrible and controlling and saying that my husband is a ‘saint’ for still enduring the ‘trashy’ behavior of mine. I blocked his sister who was constantly arguing saying my husband has free will and should be able to decide where to go and be without my consent this made him get madder.
We haven’t talked since then.”
3. AITJ For Reporting The Hairstylist To The CEO?
“My daughter ‘Tia’ has a cognitive delay. Although she’s 25 years old, her intellectual and emotional capacity is that of a 12/14-year-old. I’m her legal guardian.
Tia and I visited our regular salon last month to get her hair cut. While shampooing her hair, the stylist (‘Alejandro’) noticed she had lice. Instead of telling her quietly, he caused a big scene that left Tia in tears.
His reaction was so loud and exaggerated, it caused everyone in the salon to stare. He gasped audibly and took two steps back. Throwing his hands in the air and tilting his hip, he shrieked, ‘Oh Jesus! Girrrlll, you’re crawling with piojos! They probably went south, so you better get checked for krabs!’
My daughter was dumbstruck.
She didn’t understand the words he was saying, but she sensed his tone. By the time I got to his booth from the waiting area, her chest was hitching and tears were streaming down her cheeks.
I put a towel around Tia’s head and guided her out of the chair. I told her we had to leave because her brother had locked himself out of the house.
Alejandro and I locked eyes, and I gave him a look of utter disdain.
Once we were safely in the car, her sobbing had subsided. I told her that her brother had texted me that he found his keys, so we could get ice cream. We started talking about other things, like her friend group. That brightened her mood, and she seemed to forget the incident.
We finished our ice cream, and I told her we should get her hair cut while we were out. I said that Alejandro’s shift had ended and that we needed to go to a different salon. Once there, I surreptitiously advised the stylist that she needed a lice treatment.
By the time we got home, I was steaming mad.
It haunted me all evening and into my nightmares. The next day, I searched the internet for the name of the salon’s CEO. I called his office and demanded to speak with him. He wasn’t available, but his assistant took my complaint and promised to pass it on.
Fast forward to a month later, and I had heard nothing from the salon.
It was time for my son to get a haircut, so I called to make an appointment—with anyone but Alejandro. I asked for three different dates, but the stylist who answered the phone (‘Alicia’) told me they were booked. Her tone was curt, which made my ‘spider senses’ tingle.
I just came out and said it. ‘Alicia, is something wrong?’ Her response floored me.
She said, ‘Yes, something IS wrong. You got Alejandro fired. You could have handled it with the store manager, but you didn’t. Your family isn’t welcome here anymore.’
My jaw dropped, and all I could manage was a timid ‘Okay.’ I hung up and began to reflect. Am I the jerk for reporting Alejandro to the CEO? Am I a Karen?”
I'd call the CEO Again and explain that you've been banned.
2. AITJ For Kicking My 14-Year-Old Daughter Out?
“I (40 M) have two teenage daughters with my ex-wife. My ex had custody of both girls. I only saw them every other weekend. When my oldest Bella was 12, my ex kicked her out of her house because they fought all the time. My ex said that Bella was always moody, demanding, and disrespectful to my ex’s SO.
She was also jealous of her younger sister because she thought that my ex favored her more.
I had to take Bella in. I was living with my fiancee Amy (29 F) and life was great. I was so much in love with her. I was excited for Amy and Bella to bond with each other. The night Bella arrived, I baked cookies and Amy welcomed her with open arms.
Things were OK for a short while but I noticed that Bella wasn’t the sweet and bubbly child she used to be. She was always quiet and distant. She spent all of her time in her room and she would only come out to eat. She was unfriendly and she barely talked to me and Amy, which hurt Amy.
I travel for work and I work long hours so I’m not home much. Most of the time it was just Amy and Bella. Amy often called me crying because Bella was always rude and disrespectful to her. She told me that Bella never listened when told to do her homework, let the dog out, etc.
Once Amy took Bella’s phone away and cut the internet because Bella didn’t do the dishes. Amy caught an older boy dropping Bella off and said that Bella was playing hooky.
I tried to correct Bella to make things easier for them both when I was gone but she denied everything and called Amy a liar i.e.
she said that the older boy was ‘a friend’s brother’ who drove her home because she missed the bus.
In the 2 years that Bella lived with us, I noticed a change in Amy’s behavior. She became moodier and snappier. Having Bella around was very hard on her and she took it out on me. One morning when Bella was 14 she left a glass of milk out in the kitchen all day.
I was frustrated so I took the milk, went into her room, and dumped it on the floor. I told her to clean it up. It was not my proudest moment. The next day I went into her room again to apologize but I saw that she didn’t clean it up but she had skipped school and she was in bed at noon.
I told her that Amy was right about her and she needed to get her act together. I told her to pack her bags because she was going back to her mother’s house (I checked with my ex beforehand and she was willing to take Bella back). Bella didn’t say anything. She just stared at me blankly.
Bella moved out that weekend. Amy said, ‘I’m glad that jerk is finally out of our house.’ I lost it and told Amy to pack her bags too. I gave her a down payment for a house, told her that she could keep her ring, then showed her the door.
This happened 6 months ago and Bella still won’t talk to me. I had my younger daughter (11 F) move into my house. A couple of people that I’ve talked to about this told me that I’m the jerk for kicking Bella out and now I’m second-guessing my decision. AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Teaching My Wife A Lesson About Not Drinking Too Much Liquid Before A Long Drive?
“Both I and my wife were planning to visit my mother who lives significantly further away from us, it is a 5-hour drive. Before the drive, I told my wife to not chug water because we can’t be stopping every 2 minutes for her to find a place to pee.
She pretended to heed my request and then fooled me by bringing an extra large bottle of berry juice.
Then she said that she would be able to control it, and in return, I told her if she wanted to pee I wouldn’t be stopping and she agreed.
Guess what, 1 hour into the drive she already feels like peeing. The thing is we are in mid-traffic and it would be hard to find a place.
Plus, if we constantly made stops we wouldn’t be able to get to my mother’s house even by the evening. The traffic congestion is really bad over here. I roll my eyes and tell her this is exactly why I told her not to drink too much.
Then she goes on to ask if she can switch to the backseat and pee into a spare bottle.
I thought that was absolutely disgusting because it obviously will spill and I told her straightforwardly that she can’t do it in my car.
She then gets all pouty and mad and pretends to hug her stomach and exaggerate to fake bladder pain. I eventually did find a place but only another 1.5 hours later. She was super angry and told me I was ‘endangering her’, but at least for the rest of the ride she learned her lesson and did not chug too much juice as before.
She came in to visit my mother red-faced so when my mother asked and she explained, my mother pulled me aside and told me I was being a jerk and I should have helped her instead of being rude. I told her that I already advised my wife before but she was too stubborn to listen and defied what I told her.
I also thought it was unhygienic to let her pee in my car. Since this is still quite conflicting because I can’t come to a consensus I don’t know if I’m in the wrong or she is.
Edit: It’s not that I didn’t want to take breaks we were planning to stop every 2 hours as opposed to again and again multiple times just so she could pee. I DO NOT POLICE HER PEE or whatever. With our congestion, it is difficult to keep turning and making detours. We also weren’t planning to stay and wanted to return home before midnight. If we keep making stops how is that possible?”
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