People Share Their Epic Moments of Revenge
55. Parents Tried To Steal My Reserved Parking Space So I Blocked Them In
“The elementary school that my kids attended had serious parking issues. There were very few available parking spots so the school decided they would put 2 front row spots up for auction. The winner would have a reserved parking spot for the entire school year. I won a spot and the school even put up a ‘RESERVED for KarizmaWithaK’ sign.
One day, I arrived to pick up my kids and someone was parked in MY spot.
They were sitting in their car so I got out of mine and knocked on their window and told them they were parked in my reserved spot and could they please move. They refused. So I blocked them in and went to get my kids and we took our sweet time gathering coats and lunchboxes and of course I needed to discuss things with their teachers and the whole time, I could see the a*shole in my spot getting angrier and angrier but there was nothing they could do and no way for them to exit the parking spot.
Other parents kept going up to them to tell them they were parked in someone’s reserved spot and just about every kid who went by yelled, ‘That’s not your parking spot!’ and now the parking offender was the center of a lot of unwanted attention which made them pretty annoyed and they got out and complained to the principal who read them the riot act.
I still kept them trapped for about another 15 minutes as I wasn’t in a hurry to be anywhere and there wasn’t anything they could do about it.”
54. Passive-Aggressively Acted Clueless In Front Of Hard-Headed Customers
“When I was a waitress I had bleach blonde hair and was a cute 20-something. In order to make good tips but still be able to be a b*tch to my customers, I pretended I was a dumb blonde. People used to come in and even though there was a HUGE ‘please wait to be seated’, customers would sit down at dirty tables. When they did that I would walk by them, sometimes I’d refill ‘their coffee’ or say ‘can I get you anything else?’ The customer would say ‘We have eaten yet.
Can you clear the table and get us menus?’ I would act shocked and angry. ‘That hostess sat you at a dirty table? Omg, I am going to tell the manager!!!’ They would then explain how they sat and I would just smile and say ‘Ohhhhh (laugh and smile) ok. Well you need to go wait at the front and the hostess will seat you at a clean table and get you menus’ then I would walk away. It was 1 of many ‘dumb blonde’ things I did as a waitress. I’m still passive-aggressive.”
53. Placed Nails On All Four Of My Bully's Uncle's Tires
“My uncle was childish and mean when I was a kid. He particularly disliked my cousins and would make fun of them, one time actually holding one down while punching him saying how fat and worthless he was. I hated him for it. Well one time, my uncle took my cousin, Billy, and me to a state park to look at dinosaur tracks. I was ten and Billy was eleven.
On the way home, my uncle had a flat. Billy, being genuinely concerned asked me if he should get out and help. I told him he could offer. After a minute, Billy got back in with a red face and tears welling up in his eyes. He wouldn’t tell me what my uncle had said until we got back to my grandma’s house. It was just more ‘you’re a worthless piece of crap’ kind of thing.
I was so angry! I went out in the shed and got eight nails and leaned them against the front and back of each tire on my uncle’s car so that no matter which way he rolled, he was getting nailed. I was standing in the hallway about two months later and heard my uncle tell my grandma he had slow leaks in all four of his tires. He said he finally got tired of airing them up every day and took his car down to the shop and ‘I’ll be damned if there wasn’t a bent nail in each tire!’ I felt such a huge sense of justice just wash over me.”
52. Served My Dormmate A Hilarious Fart Revenge
“I’m a female. I was living in a dorm with another female, though she was passive-aggressive, high-strung, and very anal about her things. I could get along with literally anyone, but apparently not her. We had our own bedrooms, which were next to each other and opened up to a small kitchen with a shared bathroom. Leading up to the revenge fart, we had pretty much established through many unpleasant interactions that we weren’t really friends.
We just sort of tolerated each other.
One day we were in our separate bedrooms and we had our doors open (which is rare for her). I’m sitting in my room at my desk on my laptop when my belly starts making the fart rumbles. You know the ones. I had a moment where I thought I should close my door or at least be discrete for my neighbor.
But then I had a glorious moment of clarity.
I thought ‘f*ck it’ and let out a loud, disgusting, fog horn fart. I didn’t think it would be that bad. The entire thing lasted about 4 seconds. She had 100% heard me rip hot a*s. I started laughing uncontrollably at the thought of her next door with her nose scrunched up like ‘what the f*ck is wrong with her’. Of course, my laughing caused me to fart more. I f*cking lost it. Here’s my neighbor, who I hate, listening to me cackle at my own farts. I remember hearing her door slowly close with a click. She didn’t talk to me much after that. I think there’s something wrong with me.”
51. They Wouldn't Withdraw My Parking Notice So I Reported Every Parked Car On My Street
“Received a parking notice on my vehicle telling me my car was abandoned and will be towed to a city compound for not being moved. (Car was parked in one spot legally registered and insured for 2 days) This was on a residential street in front of my condo.
As I noticed the slip from my window I went and investigated what it was and noticed another person two condos over leering at me with a sense of accomplishment.
I called the city information line and explained, at which point they retorted with ‘anyone can legally call on any car and without the real knowledge if the car moves daily or not and get a notice placed within the day.’ ‘The city is just doing their job.’ I was frustrated but then asked the person, if that was the case and without any investigation, l could theoretically call every vehicle on the street for abandonment and they would have to then just ‘do their job’.
They replied with ‘seems like more trouble than it seems but sure’………………not realizing my pettiness knows no bounds, I did just that.
I took photos of everyone’s license plate parked on the street, entered each vehicle into my city’s online site, and within two hours a city vehicle had shown up to unleash my devious plan.
While taking the picture of one of the cars, in particular, the condo leery I mentioned before came out his door and asked me ‘why are you photographing my car this is a private neighborhood’.
Whatever he was trying to say was obviously blinded by rage, I just proceeded to give a devilish smile and walk into my unit.
Back to the story, my city worker hero called my number as you must provide loose info before entering vehicle complaints and I answered and explained what had all unfolded through the day not leaving any parts out or lack of info on what my part in all this was. He laughed amused at what I had devised and replied with ‘this is the easiest last two hours of my night, thank you for this’ I laughed said no problem and went to sleep with every vehicle with a parking complaint.”
50. Guy Damaged My Shin In Boot Camp So I Gave Him Trench Foot
“When I was in boot camp the drill instructors would make us chug a full canteen of water from these nasty a*s canteens to force us to hydrate. I was the last one to finish drinking mine and so one of the squad leaders (another recruit in a meaningless leadership position) came up to me and kicked me in the shin for being so slow. He kicked me so hard that I started bleeding through my cammies and left a knot on my shin that didn’t go away for months.
So a couple of days after he did that I was on fire watch, which is basically guarded duty while everyone else is sleeping. The next morning we had the crucible which was 3 days of field activities and ended in a 10-mile hike with full gear up a steep a*s mountain. So that night while he was asleep I took my canteen and filled both of his boots up with water.
He had to wear them and was practically in tears about the sh*tty next few days he was about to have. When we did the hike up the mountain he couldn’t finish it and had to ride in the safety vehicle in shame with one of the drill instructors. He went to medical afterward and got dropped from the platoon and (presumably) graduated with another company. He f*cked up my shin but I gave him trench foot and nobody ever found out that it was me. F*ck that guy.”
49. Son Lied About Leaving His Gadget At School For A Long Time
“Well, I may get a bit sh*t on for this but my son lies a lot. We’ve been trying to curb and tackle the problem for a while but his autism does make it difficult and he has difficulty parting attention at the best of times. Anyway… recently he took his Nintendo 2DS to school for device day, and he told his dad he had it in his bag when he came home.
That night and the following night he was quiet as a mouse, suspicious quiet… but I didn’t think anything of it as he had also been working on positive behavior lately…
We don’t think anything of his 2DS as it’s probably in his school bag and he doesn’t have a charger in his room. We ask him though where it is and he said he thinks he left it at school, which lead to a bit of panic and checking his room to see if he’s lying to us.
Seems as though it’s been left at school…
Monday rolls around and I go into his room to tidy up a few things and I found the 2DS hidden under a pillow, in his toy box. It’s fully charged, on standby and it just says he knows where it is and using his Chromecast charger to charge it. While he was outside playing I hid it and didn’t say anything.
He asked about it that night, for the first time in as many days asking if we had found it. I told him no, didn’t he leave it at school?
Every morning he was reminded to find it at school and he held to his lie that it was lost and he didn’t know where it was. I honestly just wanted to come back to me and tell me he lied and take responsibility for his actions…: he eventually did after lying several more times over several more days about how it got there and telling us that we are bullying him. Parenting is hard…”
48. Rich Kid Musician Thought Everyone's Heard Him Play But He Was Wrong
“I used to work as a sound tech part-time at a nearby bar when studying for my computer science degree. It was great fun and even kinda relevant to my degree (and gave me a great excuse to binge on audiophile equipment).
So basically every Friday night we would give a slot to a band from the college to perform for an hour or so, and this rich guy’s son would always turn up in some band or another.
He had all the fanciest gear (Fender Strat, distortion pedals, etc.) but his technique sucked. But to anyone who would listen, he was the next Jimi Hendrix blah blah.
One thing about this guy was that he loved to pump his volume through the roof and play these crunchy chords with the distortion amped to the max, in the process drowning out the rest of his band members.
So instead of hooking up to the mixer and then through to the PA system, I just routed his signal through to his in-ear monitors, and every time he performed his miserable excuse for a ‘solo’ he would gyrate around the stage for no apparent reason.
Really the pettiest thing I’ve ever done, but revenge is sweet. (I heard he still plays amateur guitar through the grapevine)”
47. Mother-In-Law Doesn't Follow Schedule So We Left Her Waiting At The Doorstep
“My mother-in-law has a habit of showing up a day earlier than agreed upon. We’ve had to cancel plans because of her shenanigans.
When our kids were younger one day my husband made plans with my mother-in-law and told her repeatedly that he and I were busy the day before. Two days before the agreed visit she messages saying she’s excited to see us ‘tomorrow’, hubby reminds her ‘Saturday, we’re busy tomorrow’.
Anyway, Friday happens. Hubby goes to a work event and is unable to be contacted most of the day. My plans are canceled due to one of the kids throwing up. Naptime rolls around, I settle the kids down and go to enjoy some quiet internet time when there’s a knock at the door. We don’t open the lounge blinds a lot because of nosy apartment neighbors, so I was safe from sight.
I checked the peephole in case it was the postie, but nah, mother-in-law. In all her annoying glory.
I silently deadbolt the door, sneak to the back door and check the locks. Then I snuggled into my bed with my kids, to keep them calm in case the knocking woke them. I checked the peephole after an hour and saw her sulking on the front step clearly trying to reach hubby on the phone.
Except I had messaged him ‘your mum is here, I’m ignoring her.’ So he knew why she was calling and ignored her completely. She finally left just before the kids woke from their nap.
The next day when she arrived she asked what I did the day before and I said, ‘Nothing. I was home all day’.”
46. Snitched On The Kid For Flipping Me Off Then Flipped Him Off As I Drove Away
“I was driving home from work and about a block away from the house, I see a family getting out of their minivan. Mum, exasperated from what I expect the usual day-to-day, plunges foot to the ground as the two boys explode from the sliding doors. One of the boys (I assume around 10), catches my eye and instantly flips me off. The moment felt like it was in slow motion.
His finger raised as his chin stuck forward, half scowl/half-grin from ear-to-ear. I slam on the breaks and reverse back along beside the house. I follow suit and explode out of my car.
The young man is now a school uniform-clad statue. I’m now at a brisk stride when the mother greets me. I respond, ‘hi I’m Spengebab, I live up the road. Listen, I don’t mean for this to sound weird or abrupt or whatever, but your son just stuck his finger up at me.’ The mother breathes his name through gritted teeth and demands he apologizes.
He does. I say, ‘all good mate, just be careful who you do that to. It’s not nice bud.’ She apologizes on his behalf a thousand times before grabbing him by his school bag and dragging his little p*ss ant body inside.
As I drive away he leans back over his shoulder and catches my gaze. I roll down the window and look him dead in the eye and flip him off with a sense of satisfaction unrivaled by any meal, thrill, s*xual encounter, or anything in my entire life. I’m a primary school teacher. So this was a win for me.”
45. Ex Abandoned Me So I Bought All The Collection Pieces He's Missing
“My ex collected specific brands of antique and mid-century dishes and pottery. There was a certain coffee mug that was rare and when they came on the market, we’re usually expensive. He had a few, but could never quite get the whole set.
After 8 years together, I came home from work one day and he announced that he was moving out the following day, and leaving town, as he had been seeing another man for quite some time and they were in love and blah blah blah.
He left me with the house and the dog, but pretty much nothing else. I was devastated, but also mad as hell.
Not long after this, I got a huge promotion at work, which came with a huge increase in salary and bonus. Nearly twice what I was making just 2 years before. He always used to complain that we never had enough money, but he always seemed to have money for his stupid collectible dishware.
I spent a great deal of money to buy up all of the available pieces that he did not have in his collection. I was newly single, jilted, angry, and though I, to this day, have no idea if he has even noticed, I own a sizable chunk of the missing collection and have standing orders with 4 dealers across the country that contact me first if they come across these specific dishes. They sit in a box in my home office now.
It’s petty. I know. I’m not proud. But it feels good.”
44. This Is Why You Shouldn't Mess With A Group Of Kids On Bikes
“When I was about ten years old I lived in the depths of North Saint Paul MN. We used to ride our crappy bikes with friends all over the place. One day we were peddling down this back alley behind all the main street businesses. Generally, zero traffic on a road like this but that day this huge brand new extended cab pickup comes flying out of nowhere barreling down on us and honking.
The guy is yelling swears out the window and everything as we peddle out of the way onto the sides. He stomps the gas and speeds off and not a block later pulls into the back of some buildings lot. We eventually peddle our way up there and see his truck parked by a loading dock with no one in sight.
Collectively we all hated the person for how he treated us and our brain gears were spinning on the possibilities of revenge.
At that moment one of the tag-a-longs of our group announces that he has to take a really bad sh*t. Light bulbs go off above all of our heads except his. There is a dumpster nearby and a newspaper on the ground next to it. With very little convincing he does the deed neatly on the paper. A massive 9-inch log that would have been impressive outright if not for the horrible stench with visible stink lines hovering around it.
The group of us talk him into the next phase of the plan, with all of us as lookouts to ensure his absolute safety despite everyone on their bikes ready to book it at the drop of the turd itself. He climbs on the hood of the pickup truck with one hand holding the newspaper and the other slowly pawing forward for grip until he reached the windshield.
Then, on two knees, and double handing the underside of the newspaper he splats it on the windshield and swipes in a big arc across. It was as if the truck had a single wiper for the entire windshield and left a perfect 9-inch wave from one side to the other. The turd itself was only half used up in the process and sat angrily on the other side from where he started.
At that moment someone yells RUN! and we all scramble out of the backlot and down the road. Peddling on back trails near freeway frontage roads and the like, we left no trace for us to be found. An hour later we doubled back following these trails and enjoying the little jumps and tree roots as amateur biker kids do and came across another group of kids on bikes.
Man, did they have a story to tell about a huge, angry, red-faced man driving all over the neighborhood looking for a group of kids on bikes!
It’s been about 30 years and I still laugh at the memory, but I also hold the lesson close to heart about not treating kids like sh*t for no reason. They will get ya back if they can.”
43. Ex Went Out With The Girl He Cheated On Me With But I Had My Peanut Butter Smoothie
“My ex… (we had been together for 7 years) cheated on me with a girl we both knew, before I moved out I left raw burger in the heating vents. I heard from a mutual friend the house was infested with ants after that. Not something I’m proud of.
But wait, there’s more… He started going out with the girl he cheated on me with, and a week after we broke up he parked directly in front of the massive tinted windows of the gym I worked at with his new girl and nonchalantly strolled his pompous a*s across the street with her to the theatre.
It was like twisting a knife in my chest. I couldn’t help myself, without thinking I took peanut butter from the gym smoothy section and I smeared a huge sticky feculent glob under the door handles of his truck and waited. I still replay the heartwarming schadenfreude in my mind watching her reach under the handle, grimace with her twisted mouth agape and recoiling in disgust, then slowly but instinctually smell her fingers and then shake her gross stank brown coated hand. You deserved it Misty.”
42. Got A Sweet Revenge But It Was The Highway Patrol Who Did The Work
“I was on my way somewhere (can’t remember now) in the Fastlane of 880 in the SF Bay Area. Traffic was a bit heavy, but not ‘commute nasty’.
As I’m driving, a car comes up behind me and flashes its headlights, usually meaning ‘Get out of my way. I’m in a hurry and I’m more important than you!’ Keep in mind I was already moving ~5 miles over the speed limit.
As a side note, I had noticed this particular car weaving dangerously thru traffic right before it landed in my lane.
I started looking for a chance to move safely into the next lane to get out of this idiot’s way. It was taking me a bit of time because of the traffic. Before I actually changed lanes, I got headlight flashes 3 more times. Even worse, this idiot had now become an accident-waiting-to-happen because she (I could tell it was a female) was driving so close behind me that if I had to stop suddenly, she’d end up thru my trunk and into my front seat.
Finally, I saw my chance to get out of her way. I signaled to get over and started to move. Before I was completely out of the lane, she was already moving past me. As I made the lane change, I noticed a California Highway Patrol vehicle was entering the freeway. Almost immediately I saw him accelerate like he was after something. I thought (and hoped) either he had noticed this woman’s driving style or maybe someone had reported the car that had just passed me and that’s who the CHP was targeting.
In my head, I’m thinking ‘check…’
I continued a couple of miles up the road and noticed the CHP was pulled off to the side of the freeway and now had its flashing lights on. And who was sitting in their car in front of the CHP about to get a ticket? Yep, the car that had been behind me impatiently (and rudely) waiting for me to get out of her way.
As I passed by the 2 cars all I could do was smile and think ‘…and mate’. Maybe there is karma .”
41. Girl Who Ruined High School For Me Got Her Mugshot In The Newspaper Years Later
“A mean girl at high school spread rumors and made other girls afraid to ask me out after I rejected her in front of everyone. For more context, I had never even flirted with her or even hung out with her friends. They were the gossipy, drama, pregnant by senior year, girls. However, they were really popular.
I was a poor kid who lost his house and my mom couldn’t even afford to feed us every day.
It was kinda out there – lots of people knew how my family lost our stuff. However, apparently, I was really cute and there was a bunch of girls who would give me food or candy in hopes that I would go out with them. Sometimes those gifts would be the only food I ate all day. That all ended the day she asked me out and I said no.
None of the other girls dared to talk to me because that group of b*tches would ruin their lives. I was constantly tormented by petty rumors, trashed stuff, and insults.
So, I decided to graduate school early and joined the military. Then went to college, got an engineering degree and a good job. Went back home and out to eat only to run into one of her friends pretending that what they did was just friendly teasing.
I politely walk away when I see her – that b*tch who made high school a living hell.
She flags me down like we were old buddies and tells me that she’s holding various raffles and sports ‘numbers’ for the playoffs. Then invites me out to her house. I wanted to curse her out then and there but I see she has her kids with her. So I take the flier and drop by to scope out the place. Then I call the state attorneys about illegal gambling activities. Then I proceed to call child protective services about her allowing underage drinking at her football parties. Then I call various other agencies about other violations.
B*tch’s mugshot appears in the newspaper a few weeks later.”
40. Had My Revenge Without Having To Lift A Finger
“Okay, so one time, my best friend just had her house renovated. Her parents threw a housewarming party, mostly inviting a lot of her friends and classmates.
But unfortunately, her parents invited other people to our class, whose parents they were friends with. And two of them were people me and my bestie actively disliked. Let’s call them, ‘X’ and ‘Y’ (the two of them are best friends).
The kind who often went to parties in matching outfits, they did that in my best friend’s party too. Both of them were kinda those mean popular girls who people hated but didn’t say anything.
On the day of the party, I went there. Our group of friends had a lot of fun, took pictures, and basically hung out. So, while just hanging out, I and my friends came up with a game where we were just randomly giving each other dares.
Like going through the entire house blindfolded or spraying an innocent bystander with perfume. You know stupid stuff that teens do.
And when it was my turn, someone gave me a dare to put a bit of olive oil (used for hair) on Y’s head. X, Y, and a few others were sitting in a corner of the bed scrolling through Instagram. So I just grabbed the bottle, went behind Y, and poured a bit on her head.
And boom! She exploded! It took her a while to realize what was happening but once she did, she exploded on me. I thought she was going to take it easy as the others but no. She began yelling about how I ruined her entire hair (it was just a few drops jeez), how she took so much time doing her hair, how now she was going to start having hair fall, etc.
Obviously, it kinda bummed out my mood. And at first, my best friend’s little sister tried to cheer me up. Then my best friend kinda slowly took the party to another room, with only our group of friends. We started to dance and have fun. By the end of the night, I had totally forgotten about the incident.
Now for the revenge! Even though I had forgotten about the incident, my best friend didn’t.
My family went home earlier than others. After I was gone, my best friend spent the entire night dumping half a bottle of perfume on Y’s hair without her ever finding out.
A few days later, she went to Y’s house with her parents. X was also there since they’re best friends. And while talking X sprinkled some powder on Y. For some reason, Y childishly started to throw powder on both X and my best friend.
My best friend remembered the incident and behaved exactly like Y. She started yelling how she had asthma and the powder would cause her breathing problems, etc. And at that exact moment, Y’s mom came to the room. After seeing the situation, she told Y off for being immature.
When my best friend finally told me all this, I just realized what an amazingly loyal friend I had. Also, it’s pretty sweet revenge if you don’t even have to lift a finger to make it happen…
Also if anyone thinks I am the one who did wrong by pouring oil on Y’s head, I might be. I am not saying I am completely innocent.”
39. Workmate Squirts Water On Us So We Give Him A Taste Of His Own Medicine
“One of my co-workers in a tool and die shop was filling a large hypodermic syringe with water at the fountain, and squirting people with it. When he went on vacation, I took some plastic tubing left from a job, jammed a piece of hard plastic with a hole in it into the tube, and strung it over the ceiling tiles. A sprinkler system had just been installed, and I taped the nozzle end of this tube to the sprinkler which was over this guy’s toolbox, and out of sight above the false ceiling.
The other end ran to the air pipe next to my bench, down through the ceiling, and to a small water reservoir, which in turn could be pressurized with shop compressed air. There was a wall immediately behind my victim’s bench, with enough room to comfortably work. When he left for vacation, the sprinkler in our supervisor’s office had a drip.
The morning the victim came back to work, he found some water on his bench and a small bucket with a little water in it on top of his toolbox.
When he asked what was going on, he was told that apparently, the sprinkler crew had swapped the dripping sprinkler head in the boss’s office for the one over his bench. He got on the phone and raised Hell with maintenance. They had no idea what was going on, and weren’t part of the fire system crew, anyway. He just wouldn’t get into position, and finally, the boss asked him for a tool of his, which was the only one in the shop.
He got into the spot, and I hit the air trigger, spraying him right in the chest with a stream of water! He jumped back, hitting the wall, and we all laughed. He thought someone had done it with a syringe, but it was pointed out all our hands were empty. I told him the sprinkler had done it. Oooooh, he was on the phone, again, mad as a wet hen.
Then, he wandered back, and I got him again! God, I wish we had all the video we have now, back then. It was better than a cartoon. Of course, he called maintenance again and raked them over the coals once more. Things calmed down, after a while, and when he was in the target zone once more, another of the guys hit the trigger, and after a brief squirt, it blew air; the reservoir had been depleted.
He got suspicious, then, and quickly discovered the tubing, and followed it to my bench. He had to admit he had been had, but good. I pointed out that if he’d thought about it, once those nozzles spray, they continue to, and it isn’t a directed stream, but a full pattern. It broke him of squirting water on us, though. Obviously, the whole shop was in the know, including our supervisor.”
38. Removed The Contractor's Car Engine Parts Because He Wouldn't Give Me My Earnings
“I had been hired as a day laborer for a few days to tear out an old concrete driveway. Had to sledgehammer everything, and break the chunks down into manageable sizes; then wheelbarrow all the chunks to a dumpster, and deposit them. It was backbreaking work, but I needed the job and the money. I was working with another, older guy.
At the end of the job, and before I/we got paid, I asked the contractor for the job (who had come back to inspect our work & to collect tools) if he could give me a ride downtown, to which he agreed.
On the way downtown, he told me he wasn’t going to pay me, because the other guy I had been working with told him that I wasn’t a very good worker and that I had actually taken a break, etc.
I was incensed. I had worked very hard for the money and was anticipating it.
When we arrived downtown, the guy parked the pickup truck we were riding in a parking lot.
He barely said goodbye; he was glad to see me go —as a teenager, I didn’t have the gumption to have put up much of an argument. He left the parking lot.
I hung around for a few minutes until I was sure that he was gone.
I then opened the hood of the truck and removed the coil wire (from the distributor to the ignition coil.) The truck could never ever ever ever ever ever start without that wire.
I threw the wire so far away (and so well hidden) that it would never have been found.
Perhaps the guy came back…tried to start the truck…Ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh-ruh. Maybe he lifted the hood. Possibly he spotted the missing coil wire. Potentially he could have been smart enough to replace the missing coil wire with one of the spark plug wires, but he still would have been running on only 5 of 6 cylinders — not a very good running engine at all.
But I like to think that he had no idea what was wrong…and ended up paying for a tow to a car shop … and ended up paying for a new set of spark plug wires to be installed —about what he owed me for wages.
I guess I/we will never know. But I think he learned a lesson.”
37. Fought Landlady's Daughter's Loudness And Finally Slept In Peace
“So I’ve written here about my landlady’s insane daughter once before, but she’s back from college again for the summer and just as crazy as ever!
Among other things, this girl literally throws fits of screaming and crying at all hours of the day and night, slams doors constantly for no reason, and refuses to speak at a volume quieter than a yell.
She also never wears headphones when listening to anything.
Our rooms are on opposite ends of the house so when she’s in her room I don’t care. However, my room is unfortunately right off of the dining room, and she likes to set up shop at the dining room table, blasting music or whatever trash show she’s binging. If she were a reasonable person I would just ask nicely for her to turn the volume down.
But since she isn’t a reasonable person, and such requests are often met with intentional stomping around at 3 am when she knows I have to be up at 5 am for work, I have to get creative with making her shut the f*ck up sometimes.
Last night I got home from a 9-hour shift at work, exhausted, and retreated to my room to have a snack and get some sleep.
I wasn’t in my room ten minutes before the demon set up shop at the dining room table. I don’t know what show she was watching, but all I could hear was mumbled dialogue and then the world’s most annoying laugh track after what seemed like every other sentence. It was 11 at night. I was tired, hungry, and now angry.
So I booted up my laptop, went into my Netflix queue, and picked one of my favorite episodes of ‘Call the Midwife’. Cranked my volume up, and not long after the opening credits came the screams of a woman giving birth. I left the episode running while I had my snack and got ready for bed, and wouldn’t you know by the time I was ready to sleep and turned the show off I was met with complete silence from the dining room.”
36. Cut The Bully Out Of My Travel Video
“This guy in my circle of friends had a history of being kind of a d*ck towards me. Actually, he was a bit of a d*ck towards everyone, but even more so towards me, I felt. Also, everyone else was friends with him from back in high school or something, so they seemed more forgiving of his antics. ‘That’s just the say he is’, I’d constantly hear.
He’d only ever speak to me to tear me down, or to undermine me/make fun of me. I don’t think I ever heard him say anything to me that wasn’t a snarky remark or a put-down.
Anyway, the whole crew went on a house-boating trip a few summers ago, and right off the bat, this dude was power-tripping over the logistics of our excursion, acting like he was in a position of leadership or something.
At one point, in the trip group chat, he told me and another dude who was also a frequent target of his (apropos of literally nothing) that if we didn’t read up on the trip PDF and forgot to bring something, he’d not only 1) not provide us with a replacement and 2) throw us off the boat. Seriously, this is the type of a*shole this guy was.
Now my ex-wife couldn’t go on this trip, and I was getting a ride with my brother and his girl. When the trip was over they wanted to go sight-seeing in the region, but I had work to do, so I needed a ride back home. I approached one of my friends and asked if I could ride into town with them, and again Mr. A*shole jumps out from literally behind the car to shut me down on the ride because of…
reasons.
(I would later find out it wasn’t even his car, which made me f*cking furious)
Now I’m a bit of a video editor. I usually do little trip vlogs when I go on trips, and I was planning to do one for this trip as well. Now this guy’s antics annoyed me SO MUCH, that I set out to completely remove him from the trip video, quasi-1984 style.
If he was in a scene, I’d cut it in ways to remove him from the shot. If he was on the peripherals of a shot I wanted to use, I’d zoom in to crop him out of the frame. But I wanted to make it even MORE obvious that I had intentionally edited him out of the video.
So I spent 2 or 3 nights learning how to create that ‘freeze-frame, character’s name pops out from behind them’ effect.
I’m not an animator, so while the process of making this on After Effects is probably super simple, reproducing this effect on Sony Vegas is probably the least effective way to achieve this result.
Still, I researched furiously and stayed up several nights until I nailed the effect.
So now, thanks to that effect, it became abundantly clear it wasn’t an oversight to have him not show up in my vlog — it was by design.
Now I was already pretty happy with the result. I became even happier when I found out he was apparently super upset about having been cut for my little dumb trip movie. Turns out he had already been sending the video along, before watching it, assuming it was a cool recap of the trip. People started asking him how come he’s not in the video at all.
To this day I wonder what he told people.”
35. Guy Didn't Want To Pay My $100 Back So I Denied His Application
“I hired an employee for a restaurant I was playing a part in the opening. The first day the staff was beginning to train, the opening got pushed back by a few days. This guy asked me if he could borrow $100 until the next week when work would resume and the first checks came in. He was a skilled guy and I didn’t want to lose him so I loaned him the money out of my pocket.
A few days later, when the staff was meant to return to work for the opening, he didn’t show up and his phone was disconnected. Never heard from him again.
Cut to a couple of years later. The restaurant had been a success and we were preparing to open a second location a few miles away. I am going through resumes to staff the new location when lo and behold, the guy’s resume shows up in my email.
I reached out for him to arrange an interview the next morning, early as possible, to which he complied. The dude didn’t even remember the name of the restaurant (it was the same as the first location).
He showed up at 7 am the next morning and was there waiting for me when I came in. I asked a colleague to keep him waiting, which he did for almost an hour.
I finally sat down with him, right away asked if he had remembered me or the restaurant at all, to which he denied. I reminded him that I had lent him $100 almost two years ago. He said maybe I had met with his twin brother. HAHA. I said if he wanted to give me the money back right then and there, then maybe we could discuss a job. He didn’t know what to say, looked completely flummoxed, and just meekly denied remembering the incident. So he left. I didn’t get my money back but I was at least able to humiliate him and waste his entire morning, and that completely made my day.”
34. Tossed The Annoying Bully's Sandals Up In The Air
“When I was about six or seven, there was this five-year-old who lived down and across the street from my house. I’d sometimes see him at our local playground and for whatever reason, he liked to ‘pick on’ me. Now, when I say that, I don’t mean to say he bullied me or that I saw him as a bully. He was a kindergartener and I was probably twice his size.
He didn’t hurt my feelings—he just annoyed the living sh*t out of me. For months, which seems like years in the eyes of a first-grader.
The thing that I hated the most was that he’d call me ‘baby JD’ (my family nickname growing up was JD, and it’s how all my friends knew me, and therefore him as well). And he wouldn’t just toss it at the end of any old sentence as a normal person would.
He would repeat it, over and over. Chanting, singing, taunting me endlessly until I was too frustrated to stick around, and went home. He always seemed to ruin the fun.
But one day, I grew a spine. I was on the swings, all on my own, hoping for one of my friends to come outside and play. All of a sudden, I saw a figure turn the corner around my house, riding a training-wheeled bicycle—it was him.
The already-grey Washington sky seemed to turn greyer,
He rolled up to the swing set and we exchanged pleasantries. We were children; we weren’t savages. But hardly a minute had passed before it began: ‘Baby JD! Baby JD! Baby JD!’
I lost my patience. I swung hard and leaped off of the swing, landing hard on the mulch feet from where he stood. He backed up to put some space between us, but I stomped a foot in his direction.
Now, I wasn’t actually going to hurt the kid. I just wanted to scare him a little before I took the familiar trek home. And in fact, I didn’t hurt him, not enough to warrant tears anyway. But what I did do was interrupt his balance. He toppled to the ground hands and feet flailing.
My instinct took over. My eyes trained on his feet, which I noticed were suddenly bare.
There, sitting atop the mulch, was a pair of sandals. I’d literally startled him out of his shoes. So I did what any sensible kid would do and picked them up before walking in the opposite direction.
Immediately, he was back on his feet, screaming bloody murder about his shoes. He ran after me, but I held the flip-flops out of his reach. He didn’t dare throw a punch, because he and I both knew that wasn’t a fight he was likely to win.
Eventually, I grew tired of toying with him, and his unending screaming was starting to annoy me as much as ‘baby JD’ did. I noticed we were standing under one of those big roofs-on-columns, the kind with concrete floors and no walls. I backed slowly out from under the roof and he inched toward me, keeping his distance. I held the shoes out as if to offer them to him, and he lunged.
But he was too slow.
The clouds, it seemed, had parted. Sunlight engulfed the playground.
I gave all my strength. The sandals were in the air. We were both still as they spun through the daylight as if propelled by an invisible dancer. An eon passed, and soon they too hung in the air motionless.
And then they began to fall. My aim would need to be absolutely precise, the winds exactly in my favor, the angle of descent perfect and exact.
Seven feet from the ground, a dull ‘thud’ echoed through the air. Two small sandals had landed flat on the angle of the roof. The judges held up their 10s, the crowd went wild, the sun smiled down on my triumph.
And then the silence of the park was broken by a blood-curdling shriek.
‘M Y S H O E S!’
I imagine I must’ve left a me-shaped cloud of dust in my wake. But I’d never been prouder.
I can’t even remember the kids name, but his sobbing still brings me warm joy on bad days.”
33. Mean Girl Stole My Chair But I Dramatically Got It Back
“So in my first or second year of high school, I was sitting in computer studies class one day, doing the assigned coding I had to do. I was that quiet kid that always did the school work and caused as least trouble for the teacher as I possibly could. Anyway, in computer studies, we all had to have a ‘buddy’ and the person that paired up with me was the rebellious, cute bad boy that had a heart of gold (& turned out to be super smart).
This guy had at least 4 girls crushing on him, including this one I’ll refer to as L. L was loud, obnoxious, wore a very short skirt, spent every class flirting with all the guys, did little classwork, and was a horrible person to any girl who was not in her inner circle (including me). L was an outright mean girl who bullied girls she saw as ‘below’ her.
L often came to class late, or she would be outside, talking with friends or flirting. Anyway, she came 10 mins late to computer studies one day, our teacher didn’t care, and L stood around flirting with the guys. There weren’t enough chairs in the room, by 1, so instead of walking outside the room and grabbing a spare from the hallway, L sat on a table.
When it was my computer buddy’s turn to do his coding, I got up to ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom.
I came back from the bathroom, to find that L had stolen my chair, instead of getting her own from the hallway, sat down a couple of computers away from mine & was flirting with the group of guys. I brought it up to L, she smirked at me, made some b*tchy remark, rolled her eyes, and turned back to flirting with the guys.
Not even 30 seconds later, she stands up and pushes my chair back, still flirting and not paying attention to me. I grabbed my chair, quickly sat back down at my computer & was helping my buddy with his coding. Shortly after, L lets out a short yell. Everyone turns to see her on the ground, legs up in the air, looking sheepish. The whole class started laughing at her. A couple of the guys gave me a high five. She had a go at me over it & I told her not to go stealing my chair, again.
She never messed with me, again.”
32. Finally Got Out Of A Toxic Relationship And Burned The Guy's Documents
“I was with a man for two years that absolutely beat me and alienated me from everything. Towards the end of our relationship, he started working out of town. One day, I got home from work early to find him at home. He had told me that he wouldn’t be home that weekend because they had to work overtime. Of course, I was excited, thinking that he was home early to surprise me.
I was wrong. When I walked past his Jeep to go into the house, I noticed there were two takeaway boxes in the front seat and that my things (he kept one of my necklaces in the mirror and always kept one of my blankets in the back) were gone. Okay, weird. I go into the house and his phone is on the kitchen table. I go back into the bedroom to find him asleep.
I flipped on the light, still excited to see him and he yelled at me. I asked why he was home. ‘Because I f*cking live here. Why are you here, b*tch?’ Right. I apologize and go back to the living room/kitchen. He had cheated on me in the past and I decided to go through his phone. Well, I discovered that he had been in town the previous night and had spent the night with some woman, only returning home when I had already left for work.
At that point, I had had enough.
I went out to his Jeep. I found condoms inside (we never used them) so I poked holes in them. I cut open his seats. I took the plugs out of his tires. I cut a hole in his radiator (which I had just replaced). Then, I went back inside, gathered some of my things, his driver’s license, bank card (which was in my name), and my lockbox (containing all of my legal documents) then went to my mom’s.
Once I was there, I opened the lockbox to make sure I had all of my important documents. I discovered that I had his social security card, birth certificate, and Jeep title. I was still pretty hurt and crazy at that point so I burnt them, along with his driver’s license. I remembered that I still had his/my bank card so I transferred the money to my account and then burnt ‘his’ card.
I was absolutely insane but it felt good to let out all of that aggression that I had kept inside (out of fear) for two years.”
31. Roommate Won't Stop Using Up My Baby Wipes So I Scared His Girl Away
“My roommate uses up all my baby wipes and he said to me he would stop. Well, the past 2 days he started doing it again along with using my toothpaste and not even f*cking being kind enough to put the cap back on after using it.
So I confronted him about this AGAIN and he said ‘Whatever I don’t give a sh*t, hide it somewhere then’.
Nah… Nah I will keep it there, I have an idea.
A couple of days ago he said he has a girl coming over and would like to get some action and leave him alone. I said OK no worries. So about an hour before she came over I pretended to leave and said I am heading out for the night. 5 minutes later I snuck back in while he was making dinner for the both of them.
I got to my room and hid in there knowing that for a fact at some point in the night she would ask to use the bathroom, and I needed to take a sh*t. So 45 minutes go by and she arrived and I am just waiting. About 2 hours after she gets there I hear him go take a pee. AH perfect! He went first!
Now time to take a big fat f*cking sh*t.
I run into the bathroom and cr*p as quietly as I possibly can. A huge load. And I don’t flush or put the lid down. I go back to my room and wait. I stare at the clock and sit there giggling like Quagmire, exactly 28 minutes go by, and whoop There she goes, into the bathroom.
She was in there for exactly 6 seconds and came out. 7 minutes later she leaves.
Guess who isn’t getting any p*ssy.”
30. Petty Manager Fired Me For Doing My Job So I Played With Their Jukebox Anonymously
“I had two jobs, one was at this country ice house in the middle of nowhere outside of my city. This place was pretty small but was one of the few bars in a certain area so it would get busy. A lot of good ol’ boys and oil field guys.
I worked the door, checked ids and such, and usually broke up fights or kick people out.
The owner of this place was very ‘hands-on’. He liked to micromanage everything. Didn’t want me to kick people out unless they were throwing punches, and even then to try and talk to them. Never cut anyone off. Had that ‘always be selling’ attitude.
One night some trouble happens between some regulars and one guy tries to hit another guy with a pool stick. I happened to get hit in the arm but got behind the guy and put him to sleep.
The next day the manager calls me to tell me I’m being let go. Apparently, the pool stick guy spends a lot of money and me putting him to sleep left him bitter so he called the owner.
That’s fine.
Anyways the bar has a nice fancy jukebox. If you have the app you can just pick songs on your credit card and they’ll play. If you hit play next on a song, even if they turn the jukebox off, it’ll play when it starts back up.
It’s also unskippable.
With the master remote, you could skip a song but they lost that remote so they really can’t do much if someone plays a certain song they don’t like, and even if they unplug it, it’ll play no matter what when they turn it on.
Here’s my petty revenge:
The owner does inventory every Tuesday night. It also happens to be a busy night because they do pool tournaments and it usually gets packed.
So here I thought, I could probably just play the same song over and over and there’s nothing they can really do.
I got twenty bucks in credits and that usually gives you about 18 unskippable songs. Plus more depending on if the app gives you credits.
I picked a remix of Cotton Eye Joe, that comes in at around 7 minutes a pop. Usually when the pool tournament started.
Two hours of hearing the same song have killed their business on Tuesdays. Even if they unplug it, it’ll still play when they plugged it back up.
I’ve been doing it for two months so far, last I heard they had to buy a new jukebox at a cost of 5,000. I’ll probably stop for a month then start again. I’m an a*shole I guess.”
29. Made The Girl Who Parked In My Spot Cry At The Bottom Of The Stairs
“Had someone park in my assigned covered space at midnight on a Saturday. This has happened more than once.
One time, I called the management to have them towed. Management tells me they don’t tow anymore because the management would have to pay because it was private property so, ‘tough sh*t.’
I parked behind them and blocked them in. There was a block wall in front. I left the neighbors each a note on their door letting them know if they needed to leave, knock on my door.
At 10 am, frantic pounding on my door, me in pajamas, some girl hysterical that she had to go to work and was going to lose her job. I asked her if she knew it was reserved parking, she said yes, it was midnight and there were no other parking spaces and she didn’t want to street park and walk because it wasn’t safe. I asked her why she was ok with making me park on the street and walk after midnight?
She told me she was going to have me towed.
I laughed and went back to bed.
Management calls to tell me I am blocking someone in and if I don’t move, they will have me towed. I relate conversation from the middle of the night, the ‘tough sh*t’ part, and tell them if they tow me instead of the violator in my spot, I am going to sue them for failing to enforce the rules, endangering my safety because the reason I parked that way was that it was after midnight and ‘everyone knows it is not safe to park on the street and walk’.
I offer to wait for the tow truck then move so they can tow the ‘parking violator.’ Management tells the girl ‘tough sh*t’.
She is back pounding on my door and screaming. People are now calling management about lunatic ‘trying to break into someone’s apartment.’
The guy she banged the night before shows up at my door. The girl is at the bottom of the stairs crying so hard she has the hiccups.
Guy apologizes profusely, said he didn’t know she parked in my spot and the management was threatening to evict him. He had other run-ins. He apologized again and offered me money for my trouble.
I told him that wasn’t necessary, I was just waiting for the girl to apologize. He nodded, went downstairs, yelled at her and pointed up to me. She came upstairs and apologized and I moved my car.”
28. Had My Revenge Together With A $200 Bonus
“An uncle of mine was a serious drug addict and an all-around a*shole. When I was a kid it was pretty common for him to steal from my grandparents, including a lot of things they intended to give me when I was older (a coin collection, things like that). There’s a long list of things he did over the course of my life to annoy me, but I’ll skip to the petty revenge.
I was browsing the local county website and noticed there was a section for active warrants. I wondered if any familiar names were listed so I browsed it and to my complete lack of surprise, I saw my uncle’s name listed for something minor. Then I saw the Crime Stoppers number at the top of the page. I knew where he was living at the time and it was anonymous, so what the hell? I called, described him, and told them where he was.
They gave me a reference number and told me to call back in two weeks.
For the sake of being thorough, I called a relative from the other side of the family who, funny enough, was not only a cop but also in charge of following up on these things. I told him the situation and he said he’d prioritize it.
Two weeks later I call Crime Stoppers for an update and they said the tip did indeed lead to an arrest and asked which post office I preferred. I was confused but I named one. They gave me an alias, told me to give that name to the clerk and there would be a general delivery envelope with $200 cash inside. That part was unexpected but a sweet bonus for sure.
Easiest $200 I ever made.”
27. Dormmate Snaps At Me Because "All I Did Was Study"
“I had a college roommate who would walk across the room to dump coffee grounds in my wastebasket instead of into the trash can underneath the coffee maker or into the trash can in the hallway (which was still fewer steps than my trash can). It was weird, but I didn’t say anything. Then one day I came back from class to find that she dumped wet grounds into my trash and flung grounds and droplets of coffee all over a couple of my textbooks and pages of homework, which were sitting a foot away.
We were rarely in the room at the same time so I left her a note: ‘Please don’t put coffee grounds into this trash can. Thanks!’ Then I went off to another class.
When I came back later she had a full-blown meltdown over the note and how awful I am for sitting in the room and studying instead of constantly being out and socializing as she does.
She yelled at me about how she ‘can never have friends over;’ I quietly pointed out that I went back home every weekend and she had the room to herself. Somehow this devolved into her calling her mom and crying hysterically on the phone. I cracked open a book to study and ignored her while covering my ears to shut out her whining. When I uncovered an ear to free my hand to turn a page, I caught snippets of the conversation.
It sounded like she was going nuts about everything, mainly me (‘all she does is STUDY!’) but also dorm life and school.
She switched dorm rooms days later. Now that I think about it, I wonder if the coffee thing was some kind of petty revenge for me annoying her by studying. Who knows. College stress was definitely driving her insane, and I should have just gone elsewhere to study.”
26. Inconsiderate Neighbors Faced The Consequence Of Dealing With Ice Instead Of Snow
“When living in NY, my husband left for deployment right as winter started. I’m from AZ so the snow was a new thing for me. Our neighbors were this a*shole couple who thought the world owed them. The husband was an e1 and they were both young, this is the norm in a military town.
One evening I come home from work to see about 3 inches of snow covering our parking lot, a handful of my neighbors are out shoveling so we can get in.
I get out and join them. They did a lot more work than I did but I did get our 2 spots cleared. Moved my cars in and went inside. It took about an hour.
The next morning I leave for work, notice the neighbors are parked off to the side as they couldn’t get into their spot without shoveling, and come back to maybe 2 more inches of fallen snow.
Go to pull into my spot except it’s covered in snow, like 6 inches of snow. Oh but look a*sholes are parked in their perfect and clean spot.
So I pulled off to the side and waited. They left at 2 am for a party, I went out and shoveled the snow again from my spot into theirs and then our other neighbors snow into their spot as well, packed it down a little too.
My other neighbor comes home around this time, sees what I’ve done and laughs, and gives me a high five, he said they do this sh*t every time it snows.
Went inside, defrosted, and went to bed, was woken up at about 5 am to an angry screaming outside. Fell back asleep and woke up at 9 to even angrier screams because apparently, we had some heatwave between 2 and 9 that started to melt the snow and then another freeze that refroze it. So now they were dealing with ice.
They never messed with my spot again”
25. Guy Called "Harry Potter" A Children's Book So The Author Made His Tongue Twist In The Sequels
“Saw Stephen Fry live last week, and he told us this story: Just after the first Harry Potter book had been released, he was offered the role of narrating it for audiobooks. He hadn’t read it and was simply told it was a children’s book, so figured it would be an easy afternoon’s work. When he met JK Rowling, she mentioned that she was writing a sequel.
Stephen replied very condescendingly ‘good for you’.
A few years down the line, the books are selling well, and he is doing the recording for the Prisoner of Azkaban, when he runs into the phrase ‘Harry pocketed it’. Stephen could not say this line. It always came out as ‘Harry pocketeded it’ unless he said it ridiculously slowly. They tried time and time again to get it right but to no avail. Eventually, he called up JK and asked if he could say ‘Harry put it in his pocket’ instead. She thought for a moment, then said ‘no’, and hung up.
The phrase ‘Harry pocketed it’ appeared in the next four books.”
or you might end up in my novel!"!!
24. Jerk Partner Mistakes Hardened Cooking Oil For Mashed Potatoes
“This happened almost a decade ago with my first partner. He was a manipulative, selfish, raging d*uchebag and I was a 16 year old with no self-esteem. A match made in hell.
He basically lived at my house and had me cook for him all the time. He was trying to impress one of my gangster ‘special-green-plant’ growing neighbors so he would have me make them snacks multiple times a day.
His favorite thing to eat was french fries.
I would be making 3 or 4 batches a day. Since I was cooking so many fries I would keep the Crisco I used to fry them in an empty coffee tin in the fridge. Over the course of 3 days, the Crisco smelled exactly like potatoes.
So my ex asks me to make him some french fries yet again (I’m the only one paying for them, by the way).
When I tried to serve myself a plate of the fries I had just cooked he yelled at me and said these were only for him and his friend. He took the whole heaping plate and ran off!
My blood was boiling and I plotted revenge! I waited for the Crisco to solidify and I whipped it with a fork so it looked like mashed potatoes. Because of the many batches of fries, it smelled like mashed potatoes too.
Now I just had to wait.
Soon enough my ex was back and he was still hungry because of all the pot he smoked with my neighbor. He had the balls to ask me for more fries! So I sweetly told him that I’d made mashed potatoes for him while he was gone.
He was so pleased! He said ‘Thanks, babe!’ And took the biggest spoonful he could straight out of the pot. He put the overflowing spoon straight into his gob with a huge smile on his face. His smile quickly turned into disgust and he started violently throwing up in the sink.
He never asked me to make fries again in our short relationship. I broke up with him, by the way.”
23. Former Boss Served Me In A Restaurant 1 Year After He Fired Me
“2 decades ago, I worked as a telemarketer..the worst of jobs. they had me selling sh*tty JC Penny life insurance. I’d just made a rather large sale of said sh*tty insurance to what was clearly a very old lady. At the end of the sale, I told the lady I was going to cancel her order because she clearly didn’t know what she was getting herself into.
Also, she reminded me of my grandmother. I just couldn’t do it to her. I knew the product was straight sh*t. Well, my manager was listening to the call. He called me into his office and yelled at me for 5 straight minutes for canceling that sale. I told him I’d rather be fired than do the wrong thing to that lady. He fired me on the spot. 1 year later, said the manager was working at a Perkins restaurant as a host/waiter. I sent my order back 3 times (even though it was correct each time) and then asked to speak with his manager, to which I laid into him about his service. I feel bad about it as of this writing, but at the time, it was such sweet revenge.”
22. Customer Didn't Want To Pay To Get His VCR Fixed
“I used to be a VCR tech. We couldn’t really fix much in store, we had to send it out. People were always wanting something fixed but didn’t want to pay over $100 to fix it, since you could buy a new one for half that. We had one guy that didn’t want to pay to get his VCR fixed. Fine, come and get it. But he didn’t.
I had to make phone calls every couple of days to people that had things there to be picked up. I called this guy at least two times a week for months. We could destroy a customer’s item if we did a specific procedure. Send out a first, second, and final warning through certified mail. I sent these out every week. Because customer service gets the mail and sucked at giving me the return receipts, it took me most of a year to get receipts of all three letters.
Usually, when I destroy one, we smash it with a hammer and throw it in the compactor. Sometimes I would let someone that was upset with a customer smack one with the hammer. Not this one. I took it apart. Every single screw, every piece. Kept the VCR heads as a trophy.
Then the a*shole showed up to pick it up the next day. Wait here. Went and got this stack of paperwork I had sent, call logs, and called my manager. Told him the story, gave him the paperwork, and we walked up to the customer. The customer lost his sh*t. I want a new one. No. Not going to happen. There isn’t anything left of it? I snatched up the trophy I said I think this is a piece of it, want it? Felt so good to have that name off my list.”
21. Ignored My Manager's Request And Went Back To Sleep
“I worked at this bar for 5 years. I was a bartender and served tables depending on my shift, but for having been there longer than anyone else it was expected/fair that I get more bar shifts.
This place, like most, was a f*cking wreck. The managers were always sh*t after the originals left and everyone that worked there acted out at some point… the was no HR so nothing changed.
I never called out, asked to switch my shift, OT needed someone to cover me. Anyway, I finally put in my 2 weeks and in the last week, one of the managers gave me a serving shift from the 2nd to last day. I called out bc f*ck that I didn’t wanna work it. The manager got annoyed naturally and told me that I would have to find someone to cover me LOL.
I never did. I ignored the request and went back to sleep. Came in for my last day, a bar shift, and acted like nothing happened.
A funny note is someone told me the manager wanted to make me serve tables and not bartend that day. I almost wish she had so I could’ve lived out what I had dreamed all those years and walkout during a shift and leave them hanging!”
Another User Comments:
“Similar story!! I worked at Wendy’s for roughly over 2 years when I was 16.
My general manager was a total b*tch. I’d ask for days off weeks or days in advance and I rarely got them. My general manager looked down on me and pushed me around and other management was sh*t. I usually worked 9-10 hours when I wasn’t at school. I even had to miss school to get to work. I didn’t know any better and thought everything would get better.
They’d only ask me to do crazy cleaning (use a toothbrush to clean baseboards or clean the sink with a tiny sponge) When I told them my concerns in confidentiality somehow everyone knew about it. They often spread rumors about me being a sl*t and banging everyone there and other employees believed them and went along with it.
Finally, I could take it anymore. That last day, my general manager has texted me says she needed me to open (7 am) the store, and my shift would end at 5 pm.
I worked drive-thru and had rude customers all day. I even had ketchup thrown at me. Everyone treated me like scum and my managers continued to do nothing and laugh. 5 pm rolls around but no one came to take over my shift. So I asked my general manager what happened and she just looked at me smirking and said ‘uh yeah I changed the schedule a few hours ago, you’re here till 10 pm’ I looked that b*tch in the face and said ‘I quit. Have fun closing tonight’ I ripped off my visor and apron and threw them at her. And on my way out I had the glorious opportunity to say ‘f*ck you, f*ck you, definitely f*ck you, Bye Felicia!!’
I am now working at a waaaay better job with people that actually treat me like a human!!” OnLyPeAnUtBuTtErCaN
20. Couple Locked Me Out Of The Apartment When I Didn't Want To Pay $3500 For Furniture
“I lived with my uncle 10 years ago and I just wanted to move out and show myself that I could do it. My partner at the time had a best friend who also wanted to move out and live with her guy. We decided to go for a coffee and go over a budget plan and see if we could manage ourselves. We all hung out whenever we had the chance.
2 months go by and we decided to start looking at apartments. We finally found one that met our budget. I paid my share of rent and damage deposit
It would just be me, the girl’s best friend, and her partner splitting the bills. My girl wasn’t ready to move yet. My uncle gave me advice that has stuck with me to this day that if you move in with a couple, it will always be 2 against one and it isn’t pretty.
After we moved in, (it’s been 3 weeks at this point) We decided we wanted new furniture, cutlery, etc etc. Me being the busy guy I was decided to just let them pick it out and I’ll pay my share as long as it’s reasonable and within the budget, we worked out, previously. They were happy to accept my portion and they went out to IKEA and bought what we ‘needed’.
Anyway, they gave me the bill on a contract paper and insisted I had to sign/pay but with no receipt attached. I said I would gladly pay if I could simply see the proof of purchase. They asked me to trust them. I asked how much my portion was and they said I had to pay an additional $3500 more on top of the portion I gave them already and refused to let me see this bill.
I had to leave for work so I said I would talk to them when I got home after my shift. The guy was cool with that but the girl huffed and puffed.
I ended up working a full 12-hour shift on a Monday and it was an hour and a half commute to get home. I get to the apartment and the locks wouldn’t open to my key.
And nobody was home, or so I thought. I called my landlord and he came to our apartment with me standing outside the door patiently waiting. His master key wouldn’t work on the locks either. Then someone inside the apartment said if we didn’t leave, she’d call the cops. Man what a gong-show that turned into. My landlord was angry because he had witnessed us all sign the lease and we all seemed to get along.
She refused to talk to him and me.
After a half-hour of the 2 roommates arguing with the landlord and me through the door, the cops were finally called by her only because I refused to pay for their furniture purchase that I haven’t even seen yet.
10 mins go by and the cops showed up. The landlord gave the cops full permission to use any force to let me into my living spaces.
They finally opened the door and the cops told me to stay in my room unless needed and that I should move out promptly. The landlord offered me a one-bedroom after the dust settles with the roommates and I won’t breach my lease with him. The roommates were annoyed, the cops told them to grow up and to stay in their rooms until we can talk like adults again.
I did as I was told and just went to bed.
The next morning, I went to the living room to check out the new furniture that I had supposedly bought, none of it was from IKEA. I’m talking about the Brick quality brand name kind of furniture. All white leather with marble top side tables. Stuff I would have never agreed to buy. I let them keep the portion I had given them previously but I wouldn’t pay a penny more.
It was far beyond the budget plan and let’s face it, I would never get to take any of these when I moved out.
Things were still sour after that, I’d come home with all my food thrown in the garbage, they broke all my coffee cups, took the shower curtains into their room with all the towels including the toilet paper. All these things I paid for even before the furniture incident.
They had left their toothbrushes in the bathroom though… man, I tell you after a long 10-12 hour shift of working…
Anyway, a week goes by and the happy couple had broken up and the guy desperately tried to make amends with me because all these things he had purchased were on his credit card.
I told him I was sorry but I was financially tight from replacing anything they had broken of mine and the new apartment I was moving into at the end of the week.”
19. Woman On The Plane Doesn't Want To Deal With Her Child
“I was on a transatlantic flight and was sitting on the first row of the plane. The woman next to me had a baby in a crib and a small child. She sat on the opposite end of the row from me and sat her toddler right next to me leaving an empty seat between her and her kid; I had no issue with any of it until the food arrived and the child started moving around a lot and kicking my computer and was making it impossible for me to eat; I asked her politely to do something about this and her reply was that it is known that those seats are for people with children.
I was so angry I couldn’t eat. I took my tiny wine bottle to the bathroom and filled it up with water. Then I waited. When she took the kid to the toilet I proceeded to pour the water on the seat next to me. They came back and after 10 minutes the kid said to the mother that he is wet. She sat the child in the other seat and put a towel on the wet seat and sat there.
Didn’t say a word to me. I think I slept the rest of the flight. F*ck people who can’t parent and feel like the rest of us need to also deal with their terrible mistakes. She knew the kid was going to move around a lot and she chose not to sit next to him but wanted a complete stranger to endure this for 10 hrs.”
18. Annoying Workmate Wouldn't Stop Calling Me
“In my old department, there was this dispatcher who probably shouldn’t be a dispatcher.
We’ll call him G.
One day G needed to stay home for the gas and electric people to do some work on his home. Instead of taking a whole day off, he made the mistake of telling our boss that he’ll be at work no later than 12 pm, but he could be there sooner if it’s really busy.
G said he’d call to see how we were doing to see if he needed to come in early. I was left to dispatch for that day.
This guy…
I came in at 6 am. Starting at 7 am he called numerous times. By the time it reached 9 am, G must have called at least 20 times. Each time saying the same exact thing ‘Is it busy? How does it look? Do I need to come in?’ By the 20th call, I got fed up and told him that it’s really busy and we could use the help if he’s able to show up.
He hesitates because he has no one to watch the house, but eventually agrees and says he’ll be at work in a few minutes.
When he came in I let him know about the workload. He realized that it wasn’t that busy and asked why I did that. My response? ‘Because you called me more than a psycho ex. I had to stop you somehow.’. Our boss wouldn’t let him leave and thought the whole thing was hilarious especially since G knows better than to do things like to me.”
17. Spluttered Juice On The Bully Who Tried To Steal My Meal
“I think one of the most satisfactory ones for me was when I was being bullied. I got into fights because I’d physically defend friends weaker, smaller, and younger than me. Eventually, the bullies had had enough. The main b*tch literally recruited two years’ worth of bullies. My friends sat at our usual table. The hall was weirdly empty, then came in ALL the bullies and sat at two (8 people each) tables and three came up to me.
They started insulting us. One grabbed my fork and started eating my pasta. She then picked up my cardboard box of juice and stuck the straw in it and started drinking. I clapped my hands together and all the juice flooded into her mouth where she was forced to splutter it all down herself. The rest of the bullies found this hilarious, and, not having a nice fun fight to get involved in, left. The main bully with Ribena all over her started yelling at me, I said ‘oh yeah? You and what army?’ She panicked and fled. I ate my pasta and one of my friends shared their drink with me. Not a great story, but it was amazing to me.”
16. Petty Sister Thought We Ran Out Of Gas So She Pushed The Car All The Way Home
“In high school, my sister always complained about EVERYTHING. One afternoon she wanted to go to the store but didn’t want to drive or walk. I had a research paper due and had already procrastinated too long. She asked me to take her and I told her I couldn’t because I was in the middle of my paper and almost done. She throws a tantrum. My mother, sick of hearing the yelling, made me take her to the store.
We get in the car and I notice my gas light is on. I let her know I don’t have very much gas. She says I don’t care I’m not walking. So I drive her to the store. The whole time she’s b*tching and complaining. We get there, she gets her things, and then we leave. On the way home, she’s being rude to me just because she’s in a bad mood.
I knew I wouldn’t get an offer for a couple of dollars in gas, much less a thank you. Anyway, while we are driving back I accidentally shift into Neutral. (Should’ve mentioned I drove a stick she didn’t) And before I could shift back she said oh great did you run out of gas. Light Bulb I say I did and we can try to coast home.
About a block away I start lightly pressing the breaks. I tell her ‘you’re going to have to push while I steer.’ She asks, ‘why can’t I steer and you push?’ I tell her I will be pushing too but by the driver’s seat so it doesn’t matter. She goes around back and I get out and with one hand on the wheel and the other on the opened driver’s door, PRETEND to push.
I steer like I’m going too far into the other lane and tell her I have to get in so I don’t mess up the car. She shoots me an evil look but keeps pushing. Almost home I shout when we make it 20 ft from the driveway. Then I start the car and pull in. She ran inside crying. I thought my mother was going to kill me.
Also while in high school, they would serve us bland food and the worst was the sausages. Just sausages. 2 links. Nothing on them or with them or to dip them in. I hated sausage day almost as much as I hated sausages! I managed to accidentally fix that when I brought nail glue to school one day. I super glued the sausages to my tray before I took it to be dumped. I laughed so hard watching the lunch lady try to spray the sausages off the tray. After that, they started putting bbq sauce on them. I also had to pay for the tray.”
15. Application Got Rejected Because Of My Facial Hair
“I got turned down, by the manager, at a job interview for a team member at Dominos because of my stubble facial hair.
Weeks later I order from that same Dominos, and that same manager is the one who delivers my order, which is around $25, and I couldn’t help but notice he has stubble facial hair …
So I gave him no tip and told him the exact same thing he told me.
It’s not exactly like this, but something similar
‘Why do you have all that facial hair? Do you think customers wanna see that? Anyways, I won’t be giving you a tip this time. Maybe when I order again, I’ll be giving you a tip. But of course, remember to shave’.
He looked at me with one of those ‘Can’t believe this sh*t’ expressions while having a slight smirk on his face. He snatched the receipt out of my hand once I gave it back to him.”
14. Family Won't Listen To My Warning So I Let Them Get Stuck In The Elevator
“I was staying in an older hotel in San Francisco. The elevator was very small, very old school, and had signage everywhere about how you couldn’t operate it with more than 4 people. I’d also been stuck in there twice already that weekend (the elevator would stop between floors). Each time, I called the front desk and they were able to recall it to the ground floor but I’d learned to be wary.
I should have started taking the stairs, but was on the 8th floor and was feeling lazy. So on Sunday morning, I waited for the elevator for quite a while (it was pretty slow). It arrives, I hop in and a family of 5 walks up to the elevator and follows me in. They were all large people and they all had huge suitcases. I politely pointed out the sign and said that I’d already been stuck in the elevator twice and that we should split the group into two. They laughed and said they were all staying on. Welp, I thought, enjoy your ride.
I proceeded to run up the stairs and hit the call button on every single floor. The best part was that I could hear them complaining from the stairwell every time the elevator opened and nobody was there. Petty revenge never felt so good.”
13. Table Hog Had To Sit With Me On His Next Visit
“I was sitting in a food court quietly eating lunch, minding my own business. This food court is in the CBD and filled with nine-to-fivers. It was crowded so strangers would share tables. There was one sole person sitting at a four-seated table next to me. Every couple of minutes someone would approach that table and ask the table-hog if it was free to sit. He always replied, ‘Sorry my colleagues will be here soon’.
The entire time I was there, no colleagues came and sat with him nor did it appear that he was looking around for them (as most people waiting for others to join will look around and wave them over). He quietly finished up his lunch and left. Seems he just lied to have a four-seater table all to himself when even people on a two-seater table were sharing with strangers.
Well, that’s not right!
A couple of days later I saw him in the food court again. I was in a bit of a mood so I bought my lunch and pulled out the chair to sit at his table. As I was sitting down he told me he is waiting for his colleagues. I replied ‘That’s okay, I’ll move when they arrive. I won’t be long.’ He shuffled uncomfortably in his seat as I quietly ate my lunch.
I felt very uncomfortable and my heart was racing but I was annoyed at that table hog that I had to do something. If you choose to have your lunch in a busy food court, you don’t get to live in your own little bubble.
Also, I just want to clarify a few things – the strangers sharing tables DO NOT speak to each other beyond ‘May I sit here?’.
There is no awkward small talk. Everybody eats their own lunch quietly while looking at their phone and makes no eye contact.
Also – strangers sharing tables is the custom for this particular food court. I’m sure it would be strange and weird to sit down at a table with a stranger at the food court in your area, however, this story wasn’t located in the food court in your area.
I doubt I would ever find myself in your part of the world and if I did, I would observe the local custom and certainly not sit down at a table with a stranger.
I neither know nor care if he had social anxiety. By the confident manner in which he denied table access to those several people that he spoke to, I doubt he did. And if he did, he made things worse for himself.”
12. Workmate Wouldn't Stop Pranking Me So I Photoshopped His Family Picture On His Desk
“As one point, I had to train a new hire who was a pretty attractive woman. That meant that we shared an office for a month or so. I had another coworker who was the slightest bit skeezy in a not particularly threatening way. He liked to flirt with girls in the office, but not really overtly. It was a weird beta thing. He was happily married, generally likable, and I think he mostly wanted the affirmation of talking to pretty women.
Anyway, not having a lot of excuses to come to our office, he decided that we were a bit closer than we were. I liked him, but he decided that we were the kind of friends who pranked each other. That gave him reasons to come to our office when I wasn’t around. He’d get to chat with my office mate and my mouse wouldn’t work when I got back because he put a post-it note under it.
I don’t really like things like that. I don’t have that relationship with any of my friends mostly because I don’t like it, but also because when I am presented with it, I don’t respond with a great sense of proportion.
I decided to stay late that night to retaliate.
He had a digital picture frame in his office that cycled through pictures of his family.
There was a picture of his wife wearing a Texas Longhorns cowboy hat, which I photoshopped into a c*ck & balls cowboy hat.
A picture of his eldest daughter who was maybe 5, that I photoshopped in a lazy eye on.
A picture of his younger daughter maybe 2 or 3 at the time after very messily eating a piece of chocolate. This one is a little hard to describe. She was looking up to the left, and there happened to be a big pink out-of-focus rhododendron in the background of the direction she was looking, with an almost Jack Nicholson-like smile.
I decided that the best thing for that was to Photoshop Hitler into the rhododendron, so he was like a little devil talking to her and was joyously listening to.
Then in the last one, a profile picture of his wife, I dialed down the opacity of a sh*t-eating-grin picture of myself and put my face in her cheek.
Everyone on my team knew what I was doing and called in a bunch of people on his team and we all had a good laugh. Then I put the pictures on his frame and waited. We all waited. It took three weeks for him to notice.
He sent a company-wide prop to ‘whoever did this’, and HR made a half-hearted inquiry. I thought it was pretty cool that he didn’t rat me out.”
11. Half Brother Learned Ninja Trivia From Me
“My brother has a different dad, so growing up he was always the better-treated one before our mom and his dad separated. He had also figured this out and would use it to his advantage to get me in trouble just cause he could. This lead to me getting creative trying to get him in trouble or to hurt himself.
The most memorable of which… We were on holiday in the south of France.
Staying in fixed tents they rent out on a campsite with shower and toilet blocks you had to walk to. I’m going to put my brother’s age at 5 and mine at 11, could be slightly out here but it seems about right. He’d gone about his day getting his dad to tell me off for sh*t.
Anyway, he was really into Ninjas at this time. Completely fascinated by them.
We had been out and his dad even bought a ninja outfit for him so he was on a total ninja high.
So we get back and it’s time to go to the showers. My brother had stripped off at the tent and was kicking up a fuss about putting clothes back on so his dad taped a plastic cup over his bits to stop him from exposing himself on the 30-second walk…
His dad goes ahead and I and my brother follow a couple of minutes behind. Then my evil genius kicks in. I say to my brother ‘do you know what super ninja’s do to show they are better than normal ninja’s?’ wide-eyed and wanting to know how he too could become a super ninja he says he does not know.
Any guesses on how you become initiated into the super ninjas?
Simple, you take the tape that is holding the cup around your junk and you wrap it around the end of your d*ck like a d*ck headband.
So he did and then he spent a couple of minutes ecstatically jumping around declaring he was a super ninja. Then his dad calls him into the cubical for his shower. My brother bursts through the door making ninja noises and his dad shouts what the f*ck!
Let me clarify this was not around the actual p*nis head. Let me also clarify that this wasn’t sellotape and it was in fact duct tape.
I denied all knowledge and somehow got away with it. Took about 10 years for me to admit to it. The screams that came out of that shower….and yes, skin got ripped.”
10. Put An End To Neighbor's Endless Partying Using Vaseline
“During my college years, I lived off-campus, but close enough to be around all the rampant partying. There was this one girl, who just had loud obnoxious parties, any random day of the week, that would go until 5 AM. Cops would come and go, but nothing would change., but chants of ‘f*ck the cops’ would ensue after each visit. People jumping off of balconies, stomping games..
it was just overtly absurd. The on-site manager was a meek woman, who probably called the cops, anonymously, but didn’t have the guts to say anything directly.
At one point, this girl was on her 3rd-night party bender, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I drove to Walmart and bought some Vaseline. I waited until everyone had left and she was passed out. I could remember the sun rising…
I lobbed a handful of Vaseline on that knob. Jerked off that knob until a thick layer shined. I remember so vividly, the blood-curdling scream, the disgust, the unknown, her trying to get inside, but couldn’t. And gunk on her hands.
I watched it all go down from my room through the blinds.. and I could see the on-site manager talking to the girl, walking away with the biggest smile on her face.”
9. Messed Up A Crossword Puzzle In A Guy's Stepfather's Bathroom
“Guy I went to school with was kind of nice but kind of a tool. We were pretty cool until he graduated high school and went off to college. Fast forward 8 years he’s out of school, back in our home town and is a bartender. He’s less nice and more of a tool. After closing up he gets drunk and invites a bunch of patrons to swim in his parents’ pool.
He invites the girl I’m talking to, and reluctantly invites me after she says she won’t go if I can’t.
So we get there and he’s super protective over the house – his parents are on vacation and nothing can be out of order. Literally insisting males and females change into their swimwear and use the bathroom outdoors. That wasn’t going over well with any of the guests.
After a lot of complaints, he starts letting people inside to use the bathroom.
I make it inside and dry it off in the bathroom in the hallway. He knocks on the door and reminds me to not touch anything because that’s the bathroom his stepdad uses. In my somewhat drunk, vindictive state, I pick up the crossword puzzle next to the toilet and add a few random letters in here and there.
When I exit, he inspects the bathroom before allowing me to return outside and letting the next person use the bathroom. I never heard of him getting in trouble, but I really hope his stepdad tried to solve that crossword.”
8. Ruined My Petty Manager's Vacation Then Resigned After Two Weeks
“Two stories.
First: When I lived in this apartment complex, there was a huge blizzard one winter. The apartment complex was parking lot parking. I was parked in the space right in front of my apartment. I spent 3 hours shoveling out my car and space, toting the snow to the grassy areas instead of just throwing it into the lot or other spaces. Was brutal. I leave for work that night, and the jacka*s neighbor, who was parked in the space next to mine…
brushed off his car a little, pulled out of his space without shoveling, and parked in the space I had just shoveled.
I WAS ANGRY.
So I spent another 2 or so hours shoveling out the space he had been parked in… directly onto his car.
Another: I worked at Radio Shack briefly. When I interviewed, they had someone from district management come in to interview me because they wanted to hire me as an assistant manager.
They told the store manager that they were looking to hire me as an assistant manager but would have to put me in another store because his store wasn’t big enough to justify an assistant manager. He told them, ‘No, I want him here, just make him a regular employee’. I found out and was not happy that he made that choice for me. So I made his life kinda miserable.
He trained me on how to open/close the store and treated me like an assistant manager, I just wasn’t being paid like one. He also apparently had a solar-powered car, he refused to ever work evenings to close the store. There was one other person in the store who was trained to close and allowed to. He decided to fire this person because he didn’t like him, leaving just me and the manager who could open/close the store.
I was a soldier in the National Guard at this time. The manager didn’t realize when he fired the other guy that it would screw his vacation, as there was no one to close the store as I was away for my annual training for 3 weeks. He basically came to me and complained that because I was gone on the training he had to move his vacation.
He did, he rescheduled it to a week or two before my annual training.
I found out it had cost him some money to move it all around (his dumb fault), and that he was not happy about it. I got a call from my unit asking if I could come in on orders to work for 2 weeks before Annual Training to get some things squared away at the armory.
I said, ‘Absolutely, send me the orders and I’ll be happy to’. Then went to my manager and told him ‘sorry, I have orders for those 2 weeks, have to go in’ and submitted the orders. He was furious about his vacation. I told him he was welcome to call my company commander and tell him that I’m not allowed off work for military orders because he has a vacation scheduled.
He was annoyed, supposedly rescheduled. I got back from annual training, worked 2 more weeks then quit because a friend offered me a job running a store he owned for better hours/money and a better job. I wonder if that manager ever did get to take a vacation…”
7. Family Member Tried To Pit Me Against Our Relatives But She Epically Failed
“A family member of mine had a habit of instigating people against each other and then acting innocent and blaming others whenever confronted (i didn’t really mean it like that, y’all take things too seriously, I was just saying what I heard, etc). One time she was looking for a new target and turned to me. But I had been prepared since birth by my mom and others so I was prepared.
Her secret was to catch each party alone and feed them her lies while also collecting info to take to the opposite party. Then she’d take the winner’s side and be like, yes, I was there when so-and-so said this or that to spread keep the hate focused on one person. When it was my turn, I already knew people hated me so I stayed quiet the first few times she used get techniques to get others to make my life even more miserable.
So I noticed her pattern and started to appear wherever she went to indulge in her weird-a*s habit. I’d hide in closets, laundry rooms, bathrooms, basically anywhere close enough to hear everything she said but also be out of sight. Then when she left, I’d casually pop up and do things to completely contradict her words. It was things like she’d come home when she knew I wasn’t there and say I snuck out and she’d seen me somewhere I’m not supposed to be, that some girls my age (who I’m not even friends with) had posted videos (on some vague account) and she’d seen it.
Or she’d know I was sent somewhere but if anyone asked for me she’d swear she has no idea where I went, but due to my recent behavior (aka the report she made and video she ‘saw’), she wouldn’t be surprised if my mother ended up having a bastard grandchild. Imagine saying this to someone’s religious parents.
Anyways, it backfired on her and became a private joke for a bit that she was jealous of and was competing with me.
She had no idea I was making a fool out of her and somehow gaining my family’s support against her at the same time. After a while, I started casually popping up right after she started a good rant filled with lies against me going just to see her face. It was worth it. Another relative of mine who hates her would be so amused every time I popped up dressed in religiously approved attire a few moments after her loud a*s was yelling about seeing me surrounded by a group of guys in a club while dressed like a h*e. I’d even throw in some post-prayer incantations to make it look like I got done praying. Unfortunately, she found another target and things went back to normal for me.”
6. Served My Terrible Landlord A Different Interpretation Of "Showing"
“To be clear I am a male.
Basically, I haven’t had the greatest landlord and have gotten screwed over a few times by him but never really did anything about it.
So now I am moving out in the next few months, and he has been showing my place to potential new tenants and the rate of showings is getting rather annoying. So this evening I thought it would be a good time to send a clear message that I have had enough of the showings.
I was given the standard notice of when they were going to be coming by, but I wasn’t going to let that interrupt my ‘schedule’. So when the landlord opened the door to show the prospective tenants in, the first thing they see is me doing the side-plank pose naked as the day I was born. The look of horror on the lady’s face when she saw me was priceless. Long story short, to say the only thing that was shown was my naked glory and a very bewildered landlord. I am still waiting for his response to my interpretation of a ‘showing'”
5. BMW Won't Keep A Distance So I Led Him Into A Rattling Speedbump
“This happened a few months ago as I was driving my work van (the biggest Mercedes sprinter you can drive without a commercial license) around Amsterdam delivering groceries. This story takes place on a single-lane road with high curbs on both sides that takes you from one neighborhood to another. The speed limit is 50kph, although it could have been 70 IMHO except in some tight corners.
Now I’ve driven here so many times before that I feel comfortable doing 60-ish, just a bit faster than normal without the risk of getting caught speeding in an urban area.
Suddenly I hear a loud beep behind me, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s a BMW! ‘What a surprise!’ I think to myself. I was quite impressed by my ability to guess the brand of this automobile because everything forward of the rear doors wasn’t visible in my mirrors.
The tailgating and honking continue for a little while until I spot the perfect opportunity to teach this Ikea-pencil-equipped douche a lesson: a long straight section in the road. For those of you who haven’t been to the Netherlands before, our government loves two things: taxes and using those taxes to build speedbumps.
As such we have a wide variety of speedbumps and this straight section was equipped with my personal favorite: the bus bypass variant, a trapezoid block just wide enough that a normal car has to pass over it with at least one wheel, but a bus can pass over it unobstructed.
I’ve had plenty of practice with these obstacles and line up for a flawless pass while accelerating to a mindnumbing 70 km/h, the BMW still glued to my rear bumper. I pass over the obstacle without the slightest inconvenience….. The oblivious BMW driver however hits it in the worst possible way, launching himself into the ceiling of his car and grinding his oil pan as the suspension compresses.
After that, he kept a good distance.”
4. Strangers Joined Me In An Act Of Revenge Regarding A Loud Woman In A Quiet Car
“I take the train to work each morning and then again to get home. I like to sit in the quiet car because it allows me to think and do a little extra work each day. On the train ride home today a woman in front of me kept talking on the phone even after people nicely asked her to be quiet. The conductor also came through and informed her she was in a quiet car.
The seats we are in have very little support so someone behind you could push your seat and you’d feel it. Several riders decided it wasn’t worth it and switched cars. I decided I had enough and slouched far enough so both of my knees were firmly in the back of her seat pushing fairly hard. She turned her head around and told me to put my knees down.
I closed my eyes and fake slept.
She got up and moved to a different seat. There was a person behind her and guess what he did? Knees to the back of the chair. People started catching on and she chose a seat with no one behind her. Another rider changed seats behind her and she got some more knees.
The conductor came through again and was unaware of our little revenge. She got up and told him that people were putting knees into her back and stalking her to each spot. The conductor put his index finger to his lips and said ‘Shhhh, this is a quiet car.’
She moved to a new train car.”
3. Woman Called Me Ugly So I Threw A Piece Of Ham At Her
“This one time, when I was about 15-16, I was about to walk inside my building, had just placed the keys in the lock, when, reflected in the door, I see two girls walking by behind me.
I can actually hear one of them say, as she points at me:
‘Let’s talk to this guy.’
But then her friend goes:
‘No, not him, he’s ugly. Let’s go.’
The girl that actually wanted to talk to me was cute and everything, man.
So, not only did her friend c*ckblock me (so to speak) but she also called me ugly. And that hurt.
I walk upstairs, walk into my place and then walk over to the balcony to see if I can spot the girls. They’re right across the street, talking to each other, and the c*ckblocker is being a bit loud and obnoxious. That did it for me.
I walk back into the kitchen, grab a slice of ham and swoosh, threw it at the girl. Direct hit. She had a total ‘what the f*ck’ look on her face which made me smile.
Of course, in retrospect, that was a stupid thing to do and I wouldn’t do it again.”
2. Petty Woman At The Office Gained Weight Trying To Hold Her Stomach
“Worked with a woman who liked to say bad things about the various people in our office in an effort to advance herself. She was also an undiagnosed hypochondriac. I’m not pee shy, but she was very uncomfortable hearing people using any of the other bathroom stalls at the same time she was. I started eating a protein-rich diet. I pooped at work. A lot. She complained.
So I did it more. She complained more. I started making sure to poop before she would have to get in the bathroom. Coworkers thought this was hilarious after a couple of weeks, as they got hip to what I was doing. They also hated her as much as me, so they never clued her in that I was the guilty pooper. I became known as the Poop Ninja after a really nice tantrum she threw, saying the stink being created was causing her to have asthma attacks.
She even tried to ask our commander if she could work from home, as it was creating a mental health issue for her. Boss laughed her out of the office. She started using the bathroom one floor below our work center around the same time I recruited several other women into my little army. She had no escape from the smell, and sweet Jeebus it was nasty.
The five of us ended up losing about 20 lbs each on our new diets, while she gave herself three kidney infections and gained 30 pounds trying to hold it till she got to the BX food court.”
1. Served An Arrogant Guy At a Party A Glass Of Water From The Toilet
“I worked in restaurants during college in various roles from 2003-06. Server, bartender, in the kitchen, etc.
I once picked up a catering shift for an event of a few hundred people. We had a few bars setup and a handful of food stations with people at each location to serve the guests.
The rest of us were to keep the place clean by walking around and picking up glasses, plates, and trash.
We were NOT supposed to serve drinks or food as that was handled by the people at their respective stations.
As I was walking around tidying up a man physically grabbed me by my arm (I’m a tall male) and proceeded to demand a glass of water. I calmly told him that I wasn’t allowed to serve guests food or drink. He squeezed my arm harder and told me to get him water and said ‘why don’t you understand what I’m asking? It’s quite simple.’
The bartender at the bar, 10 feet away, was watching this happen.
I loudly asked the bartender if he had any water for the man and he said ‘nope, no water.’ I told the man there wasn’t any water and I’m sorry. He wouldn’t accept this and told me ‘you can go find water and I will stand here and wait.’
I went to the bar, grabbed a glass of ice, had another server watch my back as I scooped water out of the toilet.
I put the glass on a tray, added a paper napkin, lime slice, and straw before going back to the man. I handed him the water and apologized for the inconvenience.
I watched as he drank the glass of water. He handed me the empty glass and told me ‘see, that wasn’t so hard?!’ I told him I know where to get him water if he wanted more later on.
Turns out he was the man that paid for us to be at the event and owned the venue. F*ck that guy.”
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