People Want Fresh Perspectives On Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
36. AITJ For Looking Good At My Aunt's Wedding?
“My aunt Lily (25) and I (16) were pretty close growing up as she was my closest relative age-wise until I was around 5. I love her dearly and cherish the relationship we have together and I would NEVER do anything to purposely upset her.
This starts when Lily gets proposed to by her partner Cam around a year before the wedding actually takes place.
Right after the proposal she asked me to be her bridesmaid and I very excitedly said yes! A while later we started dress shopping and me along with all the other bridesmaids go to a bridal store to pick out dresses all with the same requirements: they had to be sapphire blue and have a slit.
I ended up finding a very pretty dark sapphire blue dress that went well with my eyes and fit me very nicely. My aunt approved it and I thought all was well, until the wedding.
On the day of the wedding, I did my makeup as nicely as I could and did my own hair as well, I’m not very good at hair so I just curled it.
The wedding was beautiful, my aunt looked beautiful, and no problems actually occurred at or on the wedding day. It was after.
A bit later my aunt got her wedding photos back and I could tell she was angry with me through my grandma and the fact she was reluctant to share these photos with me.
I didn’t confront her about it because I was confused but my grandma called me to tell me I should talk to her so I did. I called her and asked her if she was upset with me and she said that I knew what I did upstaging her at her wedding.
I was very confused at this point but for a bit more context I’m in shape and am pretty stereotypically attractive. My aunt, who is also very pretty, is kinda insecure and slightly overweight, but I have always found her very pretty nonetheless. She told me that I should never have worn makeup because I knew that it would be ‘impossible’ for her to look good next to me.
She never told me not to wear makeup or do my hair or anything like that otherwise I really wouldn’t have. She also said something about my dress saying I should have picked one out with less of a slit because of my long legs.
I would’ve gladly done this had she told me to. I tried to explain to her that I didn’t mean to upset her and assured her she looked gorgeous all day, but I also told her if she didn’t want me doing that stuff or wearing that dress she should have told me.
She just told me back that ‘I should’ve known’ and I just don’t understand if I’m missing something here or what. I don’t want this to be a big thing but my grandma is upset with me and so is my aunt.
I don’t know what to do. Can somebody help? AITJ?”
35. AITJ For Telling My Mom I Don't Care About My Brother's Feelings And That I Wish He Wasn't Born?
“My (16 F) parents didn’t have much time for me after my brother (9 M) was born and it got even worse after he was diagnosed with autism when he was 3. My dad is rarely home and my mom is always busy with my brother so neither of them has time for me.
I’ve known my best friend ‘Rachel’ since we were in kindergarten. Her mom is the nicest person I’ve ever met. Rachel and I played soccer but my mom was rarely able to take me to practices and games so Rachel’s mom would always take me.
I used to be in the school choir and my parents went to like one performance during the six years I did it. Rachel’s mom was at every performance for me even though Rachel wasn’t in choir.
Those are just a few examples, but Rachel’s mom has always been there for me when my parents weren’t available.
My mom never really cares what I’m doing unless she needs me to watch my brother so I spend a lot of time at Rachel’s house. Once I spent a whole weekend there and my mom didn’t even call to ask where I was.
Rachel’s family go on a lot of vacations and they often take me.
They’re going to Disney World during Thanksgiving break and invited me to come with them. I asked my dad and he said I could go. They’ve already planned and booked everything and I’m really excited. I’ve been to Disneyland once with my family and it was horrible.
My brother threw a huge tantrum on the first day because he wanted to go on the rides alone and sit between mom and dad so I had to stay in the hotel most of the time.
My brother found out that I was going to Disney and he had a really big meltdown.
He loves Disney and he was mad that I was going without him. My mom told me that she was planning to go to Washington to visit my grandparents. My dad didn’t say anything about that so I’m pretty sure she just made that up to stop me from going.
And even if they are going, I don’t want to. I don’t want to go on a fourteen-hour car ride with my brother and I’m pretty sure when we get there they’re either going to make me stay with him while they go out or take him out and leave me alone in the hotel (I also wouldn’t be allowed to go out on my own).
She told me that I needed to think about my brother and that his feelings were more important because he was younger and autistic. I told her that I honestly don’t care about my brother’s feelings and I wish he was never born.
He was there when I said all this and he’s been crying and screaming for the last three hours and it’s giving me a headache. My mom has been trying to calm him down and my dad said that he’ll still let me go because he understands I’m frustrated (he also grew up with neurodivergent siblings so he knows what it’s like).
My mom said that I’m a rude, ungrateful brat and I need to be kinder to my brother. AITJ?
EDIT: We live in California and went to Disneyland in Anaheim. I’m going to Disney World in Orlando with Rachel’s family. I think my brother does somewhat understand that Disney World has more fun stuff which makes him more.
mad. I didn’t tell him anything and I’m pretty sure my dad didn’t either, so either he overheard us talking or my mom told him.
I was 11 when the Disneyland incident happened. My brother was mostly nonverbal then but when we were about to leave the hotel he started screaming and saying no while pointing at me.
My parents calmed him down briefly but when we got on our first ride he started screaming again so my parents told me to go back to the hotel. I snuck out the second day and went on like two rides before I ran into my parents and they told me to back because they didn’t want me to be out there alone.
I don’t blame my brother for what happened at Disneyland. He was four. I blame my parents for not finding a better way to handle the situation. He was nonverbal at that time but he can talk now. He isn’t high functioning exactly but he does understand what’s going on around him.
He has basic life skills but can’t be on his own for very long.”
34. AITJ For Not Moving My Car?
“So I (30 F) live in an apartment building with non-reserved parking spots. This means that no one has a dedicated parking spot so basically you end up parking wherever you find a free spot.
I have an SUV so it can be challenging parking in tight spots and normally when I get home late, I opt to leave the car on the street so that I don’t block other neighbors. We also have come to an agreement that all of us should leave our phone numbers written on a piece of paper and visible if someone needs to contact us regarding our car.
Yesterday I came back from work and parked my car in a suitable spot. My car was the only one in that lane, so there were other free spots to my left and right. Around 9 PM I got a call to go to the parking space to move my car bc I was blocking the access to the car next to me.
Mind you, I knew for a fact that I parked on one single spot and the car was centered but I went down anyways to see what was happening.
Two of my neighbors were waiting for me there and the mother was holding their baby in a baby car seat.
Their car, also an SUV was parked near me. (Quick mention: these people are really rude to all of us, we had situations with them in the past and everybody in the building knows them for being very rude and difficult.) I looked at both cars and saw that I was not blocking them, any of us could have easily gotten into either of the cars, not fully opening the door because of parking spaces, but enough for any person to access their vehicle.
I told them this and asked what the problem was. The entitled dad demanded in a rude tone that I move my car because they needed to fully open the back door to load the baby car seat.
Here is where I may have been a jerk, I got annoyed by the attitude and told them to get the car out of the parking spot and then load whatever they needed to.
Entitled mom told me in a very annoying voice ‘But we have a babyyyy with us!’ to which I replied that I didn’t care and went back upstairs.
To me, the situation was really pathetic but hubby says that I could have been nicer to them.
So AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Telling My Divorced Parents They're Not Obliged To Do Things With Us Together?
“When I was seven and my sister was two, our parents divorced. I think our parents were great at co-parenting together. My friends with divorced parents had to deal with issues I never had to go through. So I’m very thankful for that. However, they sometimes invited each other to holidays/birthdays/vacations.
This messed with my emotions and made it harder for me to get over the divorce because it reminded me of what it was like to have all four of us together.
Once I got used to the separation seeing Mom and Dad together just felt wrong.
My sister has said doing fun family stuff with both of them reinforced that family meant Mom and Dad together and made it more painful to live in separate houses. We dislike looking at Dad’s wedding photos because Mom is in them. Cringe! My friends whose parents split up all agree my parents doing stuff together is super weird and they are glad their parents didn’t do that.
I’m living at home because classes are online. My cousin is getting divorced. She has a 1-year-old and is pregnant. She called mom to ask how to make the divorce easier for the kids. Mom told her it was important she and her ex sometimes plan stuff to do together with the kids.
My cousin really didn’t want to do that, mom got pushy about it and called her selfish. Then Mom put me on the phone, wanting me to help convince my cousin. She thought my cousin would listen to me because I know what it’s like to be a child of divorced parents.
I was honest and said I didn’t agree with Mom’s advice. I didn’t like it when my parents jointly did stuff as a family. For me, it was more harmful than helpful. Alternating or celebrating twice is better.
In my opinion, parents who don’t live together should avoid doing things together.
I reassured her she’s not a bad mother if she and her ex only do things separately. Most kids would be thrilled to get two birthdays or two Christmases.
My cousin thanked me but mom was mad I embarrassed her. Mom insisted she and Dad doing stuff together was better for me and I should appreciate it because spending time with Dad was hard for her and caused problems in her personal life.
My sister is on my side and thinks Mom’s advice was terrible. The rest of the family is saying I don’t know what’s best for kids going through a divorce. They think it was amazing my parents did so much together and I’m just being ungrateful.”
Nope, mommy has the guilties and wants you to soothe them for her. Tough. Good luck.
32. WIBTJ If I Don't Come To My Friend's Wedding?
“I (25 F) met Matt (27) and his ex Ana 9 years ago at a gig. We lived in different cities, so I figured I’d never see them again, but they both added me on social media.
I initially talked to both equally, but Ana took longer to reply and then disappeared altogether.
Matt talked daily. It didn’t feel like more than friends to me, I had a significant other, had MET his SO, and as far as I knew everyone was happy.
But they broke up, and he got a bit weird, ‘subtly hinting’ that we would end up together, eventually outright saying that if we just lived closer he thought we’d be great together.
I still had a significant other, he knew this. I also just didn’t see him that way.
I told him I just wanted to be friends, he accepted that but started talking to me less, and about much more trivial stuff. A few months later he talked to me more again, told me he was on this app and would send me profiles and ask what I thought, what he should say to them, etc. That was fun, eventually, he met someone (Liz, 27) and they got along.
Years later they’re still together. They got engaged last year and now they’re planning the wedding. We still live far apart, so I’ve met Liz once.
So when HE asked me to be in Liz’s bridal party I thought that was kinda weird. Like, she’s lovely, but wouldn’t she want HER friends to be bridesmaids?
I told him I didn’t feel right intruding and he said she ‘really won’t mind’. I told him if HE wanted me involved I’d rather be a grooms(wo)man, but he said that was wierd, we settled on me being a guest.
I’ve heard from him like twice since.
Until Liz texted me last night asking to talk.
She basically told me she was sorry, but didn’t feel comfortable having me as a bridesmaid, because she doesn’t really know me, and the ‘history with Alex’.
I told her that I had already talked with him and declined, that I also felt it was inappropriate and she should be surrounded by HER friends, but that as far as history goes, he had a crush on me 8 years ago, there’s nothing to worry about.
Well. HE told her we had some star-crossed lovers nonsense, there was always some obstacle to us being together, but from the day we met we’d basically had a long-distance relationship, I was his first ‘adult’ relationship, and the first time he’d really been in love… all news to me.
I texted Matt and he basically said I ‘broke his heart’, but he forgives me and moved on. I asked him what made him think we had been together, he said nobody texts their friends that often or is that concerned with their love life.
I said I think it’s best I skip the wedding since Liz is uneasy and now I feel pretty awkward. They’re both texting me insisting I come, him because he says it would be weird not to have one of his oldest friends there, her because she ‘feels bad she made me feel unwelcome’.
I just really don’t want to spend a day worried anything I do will come off as a ‘jealous ex’ now.
So WIBTJ if I just don’t go?”
31. AITJ For Telling My Mom To Stop Inviting People I Do Not Know To My Home?
“I (33 F) live with my husband (42 M) and two children (8 M) and (2 M). My mother does not live with me, or even in the same town as me.
She lives about an hour a drive away. I asked her to babysit at my house a couple of hours later this month so hubby and I could go on a date (not on Valentine’s Day but the weekend after). Anyway, I would order them pizza and pay her if she would accept it, she never does though.
Anyway on one of my social media posts, my sister was telling me she wanted to bring her new partner over for dinner sometime so we could meet him. I agreed and said to let me know when and I will make dinner. Then my mom commented and invited them both down to my house to babysit with her.
I just felt it was a little weird, and not that I don’t trust their judgment and they would both be there, and not that I care about my sister coming over but I never met this guy and also I wasn’t even asked if I would be ok with it, which if I had been asked first I likely would have been ok with it.
I talked to my husband and he agreed it is a super weird thing to do.
So I texted my mom and asked her to please not invite people I don’t know to my home, especially when I don’t know them and won’t be there.
I felt this was reasonable but apparently not because then I got a lot of crap from my mom about how I don’t trust her judgment and it’s my sister and her partner is a great guy. And really all I wanted was for her to acknowledge that maybe asking me first would have been the thing to do.
So I ended up telling her I would find other childcare arrangements, and now I’m sure some narrative is being spun to my sister and her partner to make me out to be the jerk, but I feel this is a boundary I really need to keep.
So AITJ?
Edit: If my mom had asked if my sister could bring her partner BEFORE inviting them herself I would have said yes. I absolutely trust them both, otherwise, I wouldn’t leave my children with them. I’m sure the dude is wonderful, but I just wanted to be asked beforehand that’s it.
I’m just asking for a shred of respect from her is all.”
30. AITJ For Having A Fight With My Fiance Over 3 Dollars?
“My (F 24) fiance (23) and I have been together 2 years but best friends for 10 total. Very long history which I’m not going to get into today. The situation arose a couple of days ago when I said I wanted to go to the store and get a dollar tea.
I had 5 dollars to my name and didn’t have a stable income. So I tried to be very picky about what I buy. My fiance has a stable income but doesn’t make a lot. He recently had been holding his income/job over me. He was out of work 6 months prior while I took care of us.
I was door-dashing but my car broke down and have no funds saved to fix it so I’m basically jobless. He acts like he’s superior to me now and makes jabs at how I’m jobless and the past 6 months door dashing wasn’t a real job.
(Funny because it paid for our food etc.)
I went to leave and he said get me an energy drink. So I went to grab his card. He said what are you doing. I said getting your card to pay for your energy drink. He said that’s stupid just use my card and he’ll buy me something worth equal value later.
I was kinda annoyed because like I said only had 5 dollars. I went and walked to the store to get the drinks, came back and he asked me to go back sometime later and get some sandwiches with his card. Cool, so I went and we each had one.
A day went by and I said hey can you get me a dollar tea. The answer is no. The next day I asked the same question. Obviously no. The third day I asked and he said only if you go with me to some store.
I was tired and really didn’t want to go so I’m like no you owe me 3 dollars so it shouldn’t matter if I do or not. He left and came back empty-handed but two things for himself. I got frustrated and said where is the tea.
You didn’t come with me so you don’t get one. This then triggered me because my mother always did this to me and I find it very manipulative to do to someone. I started to argue about how it had been three days and you still hadn’t gotten me something of equal value and I was literally only asking for something worth a dollar.
He called me a jerk and irrational and then said ‘Plus it doesn’t matter I bought you that sandwich the other day’. I looked at him in disbelief and said you asked me to get them I never said that’s what I wanted. So that didn’t count.
Arguing continued till now. We are not speaking at the moment. I feel like I might be the jerk/overreacting and being immature over 3 dollars. I also seriously feel like he lied to me and basically used my last couple of dollars to force me to ask him for things so he could say no and feel superior.
I don’t know, what do you guys think?”
29. AITJ For Confronting A Neighbor Who Gave My Wife A Happy Valentine's Text?
“My wife (38 F) and I (49 M) moved into our house in Sept. 2018. Between us we have 5 kids, two are elementary school age. With school in session, inevitably the elementary boy eventually met a neighbor kid and they began playing regularly. Everyone goes to the same bus stop so we eventually meet the boy’s father while waiting to do pickup from the bus.
He would interact with all the parents waiting and this went on this way for some time.
By the end of the year, the boys were exchanging sleepovers between the two houses. To facilitate my wife and I exchanged numbers with the boy’s dad. Mom is in the picture but Dad is the primary ‘neighbor guy who thinks he’s all that’ so we mostly see him out.
Things rolled on normal into the New Year and then school resumed and the bus stop exchanges continued.
On the morning of Valentine’s Day of 2019, my wife received a text from the boy’s dad. It said, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day. Hope you have a great day.’ She was confused by the text and as a matter of being cordial instinctively responded with, ‘You too’.
She immediately told me about the text exchange and we were both flabbergasted. We didn’t know what to think or what to do. After a while of discussion, she constructed a response to first explain her response and then to get an explanation for the original text.
This man’s response was, ‘Oh sorry, I meant to send that to one of the other moms.’
So it seems this guy is mackin’ on all the moms that would allow it. We felt that he targets new women in the neighborhood to see if they are ‘game’ and then covers and moves on if they aren’t.
It would make for awkward encounters, so we decided that the next time he came by to pick up/drop off his son to play we would pull him aside to discuss this transgression.
A week or two passed and the boys were going to play at our house again.
He showed up, dropped off the son, and the boys ran upstairs. We asked him to step inside for a minute. We explained our position to him and informed him that it made my wife uncomfortable and it was completely inappropriate. He proceeded to inform us that he talks with lots of the moms in the neighborhood and that there is nothing wrong with it.
He then continued to let me know how he works out all the time and used to be a firefighter clearly attempting to unnerve me in some way (just for information purposes, I’m not a man of large stature). I ended the conversation by stating, ‘If you have any reason to reach out in the future you can text me directly.
Don’t bother texting my wife.’ He left our house and within a couple of weeks the boys no longer played together and he started to be the ‘jerk neighbor guy’ at the bus stop. It wasn’t long before he stopped coming to the bus stop altogether.
AITJ for confronting this guy and likely ruining my kid’s friendship?”
28. AITJ For Stopping Giving Money To My Brother?
“My youngest brother ‘Jay’ and I grew up as rivals. I’m the first to admit that I was pretty bad to him growing up. My mother would have a kid, be her favorite, then be replaced by another kid. She’d tell you she couldn’t do things for you yet turn around and do it for the kid who replaced you.
Whether it was money, a car, or braces. My situation with my brother was unique in the sense that I was had been working since 16 and helping my mom out just to find out that my money was being used to help my other siblings.
That’s where my hostility towards my brother came from.
All of my siblings got married and had kids except for me. I have relationships with some but not others. I probably wouldn’t have a relationship with them if it weren’t for their kids. I’m the ‘funcle’ and my siblings appreciate that I’m the uncle that we wished we had growing up.
Jay made it clear that he didn’t want me to have a relationship with my nephew. He still hated me. I understood so whatever.
Then came a situation where he and his wife were priced out of their dream home and asked our mom for financial help.
She delivered BUT my brother and his wife found out that it was me who fronted the money to my mom to help them. From that point on, we became more cordial and I developed a relationship with my nephew ‘Nicky’ who is now 7.
Over the last year or so, it seems like he and especially his wife kept on having financial issues.
Little things here and there that were a drop in the bucket to me. The last time I saw them his wife made a comment about how expensive gas was but it was worth it because Nicky and I got to spend time together.
It rubbed me the wrong way because it made it seem like they went out of their way for me to see Nicky.
Actually, they went to visit our mother to pick up hand-me-downs and Amazon packages that she ordered. I just dropped by and now he and his wife want me to give them money too.
They didn’t need gas money. It was just to see if I’d give them $20.
That made me mad. I didn’t and stopped giving my mom money too. All of a sudden they had issues with me and freezing me out.
The breaking point was when they said they would not come over if I was at my mom’s. My brother started bringing up how mean I was the him growing up.
I clapped back by telling him that it was more like he was trying to monetize my relationship with Nicky.
I haven’t spoken to any of them in five months. They’re still having financial issues too.”
27. AITJ For Being Upset After My Brother Told Me To Go To Therapy?
“My (M 26) dad married my stepmom, or just mom when I was 6.
I never met my mother. I have two step-siblings, or just siblings, from that marriage. Jack (M 25) and Jill (F 28). Their dad died before our parents met. My family got along easier than most however the parenting styles were always an issue for me. My dad was strict with me but lenient with my siblings.
I was scolded for having low grades and poor athletic performances. I was lectured about needing to be ‘tougher’ and being responsible for my own problems. This in hindsight was better than how my siblings were raised.
They have emotional issues that have varied throughout the years.
Their father’s death left them perpetually depressed and unable to cope with the harsh realities of life. Or at least that’s my parents’ excuse for never forcing them to ‘grow up’. My parents have held their hand through every obstacle. They have never been asked to try harder or fix their own problems. My brother went to college for psychology thus he knows everything about everything… He likes to bring up our (his, our sister’s, and my) emotional issues.
She’s depressed, lives at home, and doesn’t have ‘the energy’ to work. My brother has panic attacks and anxiety, also lives at home, and doesn’t work. I live in a crappy apartment, work as a server and spend most of my time high.
I went to dinner at my parents’ house. I rarely go so it was kind of a big deal to my mom. After dinner, in the living room, my brother starts going into the psychology of childhood therapy. I immediately said NO, please just no. No one cares about your thoughts on our crappy lives.
My dad scolded me and said my brother is allowed to be open about his feelings. Jack talked about the years of therapy he and Jill were in. How their therapists used outdated methods and tools. He then told me I should go to therapy for my possible substance use… I got mad.
I said, ‘I don’t need 10 years to figure out our issues. Dad told me the world’s problems were my fault and told you your problems were the world’s fault. That’s why I hate myself and you can’t sleep more than 10ft away from mom.’
Well, a big argument started. My dad started yelling and I just left. My mom was upset, which I feel bad about and my siblings texted me that I was being a jerk. More specifically, ‘my attention-seeking insults are a misguided attempt to avoid my deeper trauma and unresolved issues with our father…’ My roommate said I started it and was being needlessly mean.
AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Naming My Baby After My Best Friend?
“My (29 m) wife (28 f) recently gave birth to our son. She posted a picture of us holding him and his name. My wife gave his first name after her grandfather who passed away three years ago but said I could decide the middle name. In my family, it’s tradition that every male has the same middle name and so they all assumed I would do the same and lost their minds when they saw he was named after my best friend.
They called me and screamed but I told them it was we decided and we would not change it. It’s been a month and my wife recovered enough to allow for visitors. My parents and grandma called to set up a time to come. While talking, my mom asked if I had changed the name yet.
I didn’t and they were upset. They said I was going to ruin a long-established family tradition and distance the child from them. My mom said she was sad that I was choosing a dead person over a full, living family. I saw red.
My best friend was awesome.
He was more family to me than my own family at times. Didn’t matter the time or place, he was there. We’d easily switch from goofing off to serious topics then goof off again. We would have two-hour car rides and talk the whole time or sit in comfortable silence.
He was a teacher at a low-income school because he grew up with his dad walking out and being homeless at one point and he wanted to help students similar to him. He was the best and the world would be better if more people were like him.
He died two months ago. He started having seizures and they tried a surgery with a low success rate that didn’t work.
It’s been emotional and exhausting to lose him and then turn right around and have a child, I screamed that they had no right to decide the name and they owed me an apology.
I told them they were not allowed in my house if they were not going to respect my choices and hung up. They have been blowing up my phone. I’ve ignored them and my wife has been on my side but my brother texted me and said that I should change it just to keep the peace and I’m being a jerk about it.
I thought maybe outsider perspectives may help since I get so emotional whenever I think about it.”
25. AITJ For Causing My Teacher To Get Fired After He Accused Me Of Doing Illegal Stuff At School?
“So, I am in my senior year, and I have this really annoying teacher (no one likes him) because he keeps missing class and repeating the same things over and over each class.
So his classes are really boring since they’re all the same. He is the music teacher, and his class is right after art, where we paint with acrylic. I had a bottle with white paint left over from the previous class, so while he was repeating the same thing he had said last week, I started fidgeting with it, moving the paint, etc. A friend of mine asked if he could take the bottle, I gave it to him, he opened it and smelled it, and said ‘Wow that’s a really strong odor’.
Naturally, I wanted to smell it too, so I did. My teacher saw me, gave me a cold look, and took the bottle away. I didn’t think much of it, so I just sat there waiting for the hour to end.
When the bell rang, the teacher called me to his desk and said he wanted to talk to me.
I thought he’d ask about my behavior, why wasn’t I paying enough attention, my grades, something like that you know? Without looking at me he asked ‘Is everything okay Fred?’ (let’s say that’s my name) I said yes, wondering what a weird question that was, and then he followed,
‘Are you sure everything’s okay at home? Got any trouble with family’.
‘Uhhhh… no?’
‘Don’t lie to me Fred, I know what you were doing’.
‘What was I doing?’
‘You know exactly what were you doing. I’m going to take this bottle with me, and I promise not to tell anyone, this will remain between us if you give me your word not to say anything about this agreement’.
It was weird how he didn’t even look at me, as if he was ashamed. I just left and went to tell my friends what had just happened, and they told me to go talk to the supervisor. So I did, I was starting to tell her what had happened when my teacher came rushing into her office and told me to go back to class.
He followed me very closely. He made us stand up at the back of the classroom to sing, we were ready to sing when he, in front of the class started telling me, ‘You know Fred, I’m disappointed you didn’t keep your word, it was a promise’.
I told him I was not doing illegal stuff multiple times as he gave me a lecture on being a man and what making promises meant. I was shaking, I don’t know if it was because I felt embarrassed of being accused of that, or out of anger.
I remember that my body felt too heavy so I fell and sat down as he continued talking.
For one last time I yelled at him, ‘I WAS NOT DOING ILLEGAL STUFF’ and rushed to the door, he told me to stop and I told him no. I told the supervisor everything that had happened, and she let me go home, I also told my mom and she went to school.
She told me she had a meeting right there with the supervisor, the principal, and my teacher, where she basically told him that accusing me of doing illegal stuff was a big mistake and that he shouldn’t make agreements with students about something that big.
We never saw him again, he apparently got fired but could’ve just moved, I really don’t know, to be honest, I’m happy he didn’t come back tho.”
24. AITJ For Telling My Sister To Stop Acting Like She Cares?
“My sister has two boys (Sam – 5 and Jack – 4). They’re both absolute angels and I love them to bits.
My issue here is that my sister clearly likes Jack more. Sam looks more like his dad while Jack looks like an exact copy of my sister and I’m 99% sure this is the reason.
My sister’s ex is a massive jerk and is in prison now so he’s not involved (nor will he likely ever be).
But yes, Sam does look a lot like his father.
Whenever we go out, my sister will only engage with Jack and she only carries him.
If he asks for something, he will get it no questions asked. Sam is always left to walk behind or I’m always carrying him/holding his hand. He also gets things but he definitely has a lot more restrictions.
My sister loves both dearly and she does spend time with Sam, but she just seems detached.
It‘s Sam’s birthday in a few days and I wanted to get him a collection of Paw Patrol toys. When I showed my sister the first thing she mentioned was Jack and how upset he’d be.
I was so over it. I told her that Sam is her child too and that she needs to stop putting Jack above him 24/7.
She argued and said that she didn’t even say anything that bad and was just wondering if I could get Sam something that Jack doesn’t like to avoid jealousy and fighting. Makes her life easier.
I told her that the boys are almost the same and everything Jack likes, Sam likes as well.
Besides, Jack got gifts just as nice as Sam on his birthday and she didn’t say anything then. I snapped and told her not to bother acting like she cares in front of me, I see right through her.
She got all huffy and said I had no right to talk about or to her like that.
She said that she’s trying her best and it’s not her fault she connects better with Jack. She called me a major jerk before leaving.
I sent her a text a few hours later and she left me on read meaning she’s still upset.
I mean I get it, I would be upset too. But what she’s doing isn’t right. And it’s not like she doesn’t get support, I’m literally a second parent and she and the boys see a therapist. My dad is on my side but my mom said I don’t know what she’s going through and she clearly loves both her kids.
AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Annoying My Sister And Her Husband Even More?
“I (28 F) am the youngest. I have an older sister (32 F).
So to understand the situation I have to explain a bit my schedule.
I work 2 days a week, 12 hours each day, one day shift and one night shift. And because all hours outside 9-4 are counted double, that is 40 hours a week. I work Mondays and Tuesdays.
Everyone in my job has the same schedule, by the way. The pay is also good.
I got way into time management back in high school, so I would say that I have my life more or less together. I am also single and I own my own house.
I wake up every day at 06:30, go to bed at 23:30, and finish all house chores (including making lunch and dinner) before 11 am. That means I have the whole day to myself. I am learning a new language, how to paint, and how to crochet to fill the time.
Well, my sister and her husband are planning to move to the city I live in (because of career-related stuff), but because school is back, they left their 3 kids with her in-laws, and are staying with me for the next month to get everything in order.
From the very first day, I noticed my BIL looking at me kind of weirdly, and then a couple of days in my sister joined him. Then the ‘jokes’ started. Stuff like being allergic to sleep, not knowing how to be a normal person, trying too hard… etc
My breaking point was when my BIL told me that what I need is a man and kids, then I would know what truly being busy is like, instead of being a ‘show off’ with an empty schedule. My sister laughed and agreed, even though she knows that I am aro/ace and childfree, and how that strained my relationship with my parents.
So after that, I started putting on cute outfits and and a full face of make-up every day, and when they joked I would say stuff like ‘Excuse me for wanting to be a functioning adult’.
They have become very annoyed with me, but I honestly love that.
And that makes me feel like a jerk. So AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Not Being Surprised When My Dad Wasn't Able To Get Me A Birthday Present?
“My (17 f as of today) dad is a jerk at the best of times.
He prioritizes his own wants/needs over mine and my brother’s (5 m) a lot. We’re fed, clothed, and housed and in his eyes, we owe him the world for doing that. If he wants a new toy, he gets it and leaves nothing for us type thing.
My dad asked me 3 weeks ago what I wanted for my birthday and I had asked for a new copy of a Switch game my brother had eaten (he actually likes the taste of the stuff put on it, and he was 4, I wasn’t too mad).
He said yeah that was fine.
On Monday, he came home with a new car. A CAR. The man wanted an SUV and he managed to find one on the Marketplace for less than 2 grand, so it’s either going to fall apart or cost him 5 times that in repairs.
We already had a car. He did not need a new one. There was no purpose, other than he wanted it so he could look cool to all his addict friends when he went to buy his smoke.
Today rolled around then, and I got a card, a sharing bag of crisps in a flavor I don’t like and a ‘Sorry OP, the car cost me a bit more than I expected, couldn’t get your game.’ And I just said yeah, I kind of guessed that when you came home on Monday, doesn’t matter anyways.
He got annoyed at me for that but I just left the house, took my brother to the park, and met up with a friend, who agreed with my dad saying I was in the wrong specifically for what I said, and the car was more important for x or y reason.
So basically, my friend and my dad think I’m a jerk for saying that, and I don’t think I am but my friend said I need to show my dad more respect since he’s a single dad and he’s just trying to cope. AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Refusing To Pay Half Of The Bill?
“On Saturday, a friend (J, 23 f) and I (24 f) went to a restaurant that she had seen on Instagram, we were having a catch-up as it had been a few months since we had last seen each other. The restaurant was in her neighbourhood so I had driven there as it was a little out of the way from me so only only ordered soft drinks while she did order a bottle of wine for herself.
She knew I was driving and that I wouldn’t drink if I drove there. When the bill came her total was £130ish and mine only came to £55ish (This was before tip) which was based on the bottle of wine that she chose (£70 a bottle which is why hers is that much more).
When the waiter came over to take payment she said we’ll be splitting the bill I told her that I’d pay for what I had. She started on me saying well it’s easier to split the bill, I reminded her that she was the one who ordered the £70 bottle of wine after I told her that as I drove there, I wouldn’t be drinking.
She said I was being tight and that I could afford to split the bill but my point was that if she ordered the bottle of wine knowing she’d be drinking alone then that’s her choice and she should cover that bottle.
A few more choice names were called when she tried to escalate the issue and cause a scene and expect me to pay up to stop her from continuing the scene, I again refused and told her to stop embarrassing herself and that if she couldn’t afford to have bought the wine on her own, then she should have got a cheaper bottle instead of expecting me to pay for a bottle that I wasn’t drinking.
To be clear, we did end up only paying what we owed as I point blank refused to pay for her bottle of wine. I’ve received some abusive texts from her and have heard she’s been slagging me off to a few mutual friends with a fictional version of what happened, trying to make herself look better.
After speaking to friends I got mixed responses when I’ve asked whether they would have acted in the same way I did or just paid the bill. So, AITJ for refusing the split the bill 50/50?”
20. AITJ For Calling My Husband A Man-Child?
“My husband and I have been married for 2 years and I am 7 months pregnant with our first child.
My husband went on a trip to his family’s ranch with his 3 brothers a few days ago and I begged him before he left to be careful and not do anything stupid (these trips with his brothers are notorious for horseplay). I was worried because he has already been pretty accident-prone and distant lately.
He promised that he wouldn’t do anything crazy and that he would call me every day. However, on the third day, I got a call from his older brother that my husband and his youngest brother were in the emergency room after the two got into a four-wheeler accident.
My husband broke his ankle, got a minor concussion, and had to have stitches for a cut on his face, and his brother ended up with a broken ankle and wrist… While they were both safe, I needed to pick my husband up because he wasn’t going to be able to drive himself home.
So, I had to drive four hours both ways to pick him up and drive him home, and I was not happy at all about it. On the drive back he apologized for getting hurt and started explaining how it was a total accident. I pulled over and told him (yelling) that I was tired of him acting like such a reckless man-child and that he needed to start acting like an adult who was having a child in two months.
I also told him that I’m tired of him being so careless with his own safety because I’m literally depending on him to be a responsible husband and father right now, mentioning all of the other stupid things he’s done lately.
He said that he’s stressed out about fatherhood and how things are going to change once the baby is born, and that is why he’s been acting so differently.
He said that me yelling at him and being mad at him only makes him feel worse and doesn’t help anything, and that he’s been trying his best, but he doesn’t think he’s good enough… and that he feels like I don’t even care that he’s hurt.
I was too angry to say anything else about it.
I understand that a lot of how they have fun together is by goofing around and that he’s probably just trying to get in quality time with his brothers before the baby is born, and that he’s stressed but I have so much on my plate right now and it feels like he’s not considerate of the fact that he’s going to have a family that depends on him in the near future.
I’ve been taking care of him even though we’re both still pretty upset with each other. I’ve started to feel like I was too hard on him but I’m not sure… I’m just tired of worrying about him.
So, AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Telling My Mother She Can't Tell Me Who To Invite To My Thanksgiving?
“A year and a half ago, my husband and I bought a hunting lodge on a beautiful Southern New Mexico mountaintop. We plan on having this home as one of our retirement places but we wanted to begin enjoying it now, though retirement for my husband is another 10 years away.
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it reminds me of wonderful times with family, friends, and food! I invited everyone who would come, including my very good friend and his wife, and two adorable little girls. I invited my mother, who accepted, and my sweet husband used his miles for my mom’s flight.
I drove to the airport all excited to have Thanksgiving with my mother who taught me how to love the holiday and it’s me who’s hosting a big group like this in our new home! I was looking forward to new memories and new traditions.
When we arrived at the house, I mentioned my friend and his family would be coming in a day or two and would be with us the entire weekend. My mother’s whole body slumped and said, ‘If I knew he was coming, I would have stayed home.’ I was stunned. But there we were.
She’s known my friend for years and he is an eccentric artist, but I’m the business side who understands what he needs to go forward. Being an artist is tough and artists need business-minded friends like me to help them when we can. Besides, he’s my friend – for 30 years.
He is welcome here.
All Thanksgiving, my mother held court.
I didn’t feel that well and slept most of the holiday, but my friend and I worked a little bit and I enjoyed his family, so I had a very good time.
When my mother got home she complained all my friend does is do the wrong thing.
I told her he’s himself and that’s that. She gave me an ultimatum – either she’s invited to my Thanksgiving and he’s not invited anymore, because she can’t stand him or she simply won’t come. Immediately I told her of course she would be my choice.
I regretted saying that two seconds later. I slept on it. I asked my husband and then I called my mother and told her she had no control over my guest list. She’s always welcome, but I will choose who I ask over to my Thanksgiving.
She glibly said, ‘Ta-ta!’ and hung up the phone. She won’t be back.
AITJ for saying that to my mother? AITJ for choosing friends over family? I just want to enjoy my favorite day with people I care about.”
18. AITJ For Suddenly Quitting My Job?
“I’m 20 years old and female. I live in the US. I had this job for about a year at a marketing company as an event planner and overall it had gone pretty well.
All up until a month ago. I was always happy in that job and honestly never expected this to happen.
But starting a month and a half or so ago, I noticed my paycheck was much less than it ever had been before. A large part of the money I make is based on how many sales I make, so my paycheck does usually fluctuate.
But it seemed way lower than it should have been considering there was no significant drop in sales.
The first time this happened I let it go, and figured I must’ve just made less sales that week and not noticed it. But the next couple of paychecks came in, and they were both much lower than they should’ve been as well.
So I went to my manager and asked her about it.
Long story short, she ended up basically saying that the company hired more people and to make up for it they cut the commission of existing employees. So basically I went from making 10% of every sale to around 6% without any notice at all.
This obviously upset me but I didn’t do anything about it for another week. After that next paycheck, though I decided it needed to change, I had to cut multiple subscriptions already because of it and during the slow season, I knew it would be even worse.
I ended up applying to another few jobs, and the day after getting an interview with one of them, I walked into my manager’s office and told her that unless my pay was brought back up to 10% I would leave.
She literally LAUGHED when I said that so I just crossed my arms, said ‘I quit’, walked out, and ignored all her calls.
Did I do the right thing? AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Not Sleeping With Friends On The Same Bed?
“So I (23 f) have always had sleepovers with friends and we usually sleep in the same bed. (I have a queen size bed so it’s comfortable) 9 months ago I started a relationship with my significant other (23 m) and he recently told me that he doesn’t feel comfortable with me sleeping in the same bed with friends either male or female (I’m bi, by the way).
He didn’t tell me I couldn’t do it, just that it made him uncomfortable and I understood. I mean I wouldn’t like him sleeping with another girl even if I knew it’s just a friend and nothing will happen.
That’s for context the other night one of my friends (22 f) came to my house for a sleepover and I told her that we were not going to sleep together.
I gave her my queen-sized bed and put a small mattress on the floor for me. We watched movies and talked and we went to sleep like this.
I thought that everything was fine but she stopped replying to my texts and it’s been two weeks.
I didn’t understand what was going on and a mutual friend told me that she felt rejected and that she was mad at me for doing that and giving priority to my SO’s wishes, that he wasn’t there and it made her feel really bad.
She feels that I put my SO first and it’s kinda true, I do. But this just feels like a really strange thing to get mad over.
The other friend was mad at me too because she thought that what I did was wrong so I don’t know anymore, she’s usually right so I am starting to think that I should have let her sleep with me or that maybe I owe her an apology.
I’m feeling lost because I think that it’s not a crazy thing to ask (sleep in different beds) but on the other hand I’ve hurt her with this.”
16. AITJ For Causing Our Other Visitors To Laugh At My Mom's Friend?
“Last night my mom had her book club at our house. She asked me (F 15) and my brother (M 12) if we would come down and say hey when they came and do the usual how’s school etc. etc. and that we could have some desserts and stuff which we didn’t mind.
Some of them are moms of family friends since I was really little so I like seeing them.
So they came over and there’s this new woman we’ll call Susan and right away she was annoying because I only took a brownie and she was like ‘Ooooh that’s all you’re so thin’ which I am and I get a little self-conscious about it sometimes.
I eat a lot, my brother and I had had pizza like half an hour before and I just wasn’t that hungry. I ignore her and talk to another lady who I know and ask how her kids are cause I babysit them and Susan just will not stop staring at me.
I was perched on the ottoman with my legs crossed and I guessed I was hunched because Susan like leaned over and went ‘Geez your posture is so bad let me show you what to do.’
At that point I had really had enough so I just went ‘UHH no’ really loud and scooted away.
The other women laughed, not my mom but she kinda looked like she wanted to. I told my brother to come on and we went and hung out in the backyard instead. We said bye when they left and Susan looked a little embarrassed.
I’m not in trouble or anything and I haven’t really had a chance to talk to my mom about it yet, but I’m starting to feel bad that I might have embarrassed her in front of the others.
AITJ? Should I have just let her do what she was gonna do?”
If you're still feeling bad about embarrassing Susan (and you didn't - she embarrassed herself), go talk to your mom and get her thoughts. I bet she agrees with me.
15. AITJ For Not Letting My Mom Control My Life?
“I (20 F) used to live with my parents.
A year back I moved to another country for college. I was super excited about this move because it was the first time I’d lived away from family and wanted to experience living on my own terms. My parents are extremely chill. We are a very fun family.
My family and relatives always saw me as the ‘perfect child’ because I used to be very sweet, flexible, responsible, good at academics, and more.
Since I started living on my own, I started exploring. My personal life and social life were on a full streak and I was having so much fun.
Socializing, drinking, smoking, night outs, parties. Truly living college life. But I never at any point gave up on my academics and was still at a pretty good mark in it.
Now when my mom visited me, she went through my phone (she didn’t check on me, she was just looking at some pictures) and saw pictures of my ‘college life’ and was taken back.
She was so unhappy and this turned into a huge argument. She said she had no idea that she raised a daughter like this and told me that I had hidden this from her. I didn’t hide it, I just never mentioned it (my fault I get it).
Well, she wanted me to stop drinking, smoking, and going out with men. And I actually obliged. She’s been staying with me for 2 months and keeps getting annoyed that I keep hanging out every other day. She also doesn’t like it when I meet new people.
When I argued with her about how I think these are fine, she said I have no morals and I snapped at her. She said that ‘her daughter died’ and that she doesn’t recognize me anymore. I was willing to compromise on my ‘habits’ for her but after she said this, I completely broke down and told her that she can’t make decisions for me, that it’s my life, and that she should stay out of it.
She said that I’d make mistakes and ruin my life, I told her I’d rather make mistakes and learn than not try anything.
I love my mom and I feel terrible about doing this. But I really don’t like how she’s interfering here.
AITJ?”
14. AITJ For Choosing My Career Over My Family?
“I (21 F) just graduated from university. I come from an immigrant family that is very traditional and our culture heavily disapproves of moving out until marriage, especially for women.
I had good grades and a great amount of extracurricular that made for a great resume. Because of this, I was able to secure a great job offer that involved moving around states for 2 years. This job also has a great salary and is at a very big company.
I asked professors for advice and decided this was the job for me.
The problem is my parents would not approve of my decision to move away. For context, my relationship with my mom has always been rocky with the worst being a month ago when a fight with my mom led to her saying ‘I will control your life you can cry, kill yourself, move out it will not make a difference’.
Out of anger to this, my response was ‘Fine then I accepted a job and will move out in June’. Although I lied about this as I had barely had the first interview for the job at that point and was not sure I would take it, I said that out of anger.
My mom and I have not talked much since.
Now that I am taking the job, my parents are convinced I am simply doing it to get away from them, that job is not worth moving away, and that if I take it it’s shameful.
I’ve explained multiple times that my moving away has to do with the job opportunity but they don’t seem to care about that. Instead, they would prefer that I get a job here even if it pays less.
I love my parents very much and they have supported me through my years in university.
I work, pay for my own car, and pay rent but my family also means the world to me and when I think about life without any family it seems lonely with no culture and events. The problem is not only is this a great job opportunity but my parents are also very strict (I have to be home by 9, I can’t go on trips out of town with my friends, I am not allowed to go out with men, etc.) so moving out and living on my own is a dream.
It’s now less than 2 weeks before I move. I have a plane ticket booked. My parents are still insisting that IF I choose this job I will no longer be their daughter and no one will ever speak to me anymore including my siblings.
It’s been weeks of trying to get them to change their mind. Most recently, I told my dad that I am still planning on taking the job offer I wanted and will be moving in 2 weeks. Again he said IF I go I’ll no longer be his daughter.
Since then my parents have been continuing to act like I am not moving away including making plans with cousins months from now that include me. I am not sure if they are in denial or think I will change my mind. I am starting to get really scared for when I start packing and reality hits them.
I fear it will get much worse and they will not let me go. I’m starting to think I may end up regretting my decision and having no family to turn to, so AITJ if I choose my career over my family?”
13. AITJ For Blowing Up At My Mom's Boss?
“I (24 M) have a mom (48 F) who has a high-level position at a health center. I’m not going to pretend I know much about what she does exactly but it’s something important. Since you know what it’s been very chaotic there and she’s been super busy the past 2 and a half years.
She gets work calls all the time after getting home from work, when she has her weekends off, and even in the middle of the night lately. It’s become a real problem because it’s hard to get together or go out because she always gets a work call and needs to take it sometimes for over an hour.
She has told me several times that she hates her job and what it’s become now because she is never truly free and unable to get any peace outside the office, but she won’t quit because the pay and benefits are insane. Sometimes if her work can’t reach her they will call me or my dad.
My mom took the week off from work to visit her parents. Her dad is having some complications and is getting surgery so she wants to be there. I got a call in the middle of the night from one of her bosses. He’s demanding that I get her on the phone but I tell him she’s not home and likely either asleep or at the hospital. He says he knows but it does not matter, she’s on call (how are you on call when you took time off?) and is expected to answer her phone no matter what.
He told me he told her she was on call two days ago (she already took the time up and left by this time) but she said no to this and has not answered his calls since. I remind him that she’s off because her DAD IS HAVING SERIOUS SURGERY and she shouldn’t be dealing with work, but he again says that does not matter because ‘she’s on call.’ and it’s up to either my dad or I to get her to answer her phone.
This is not my proudest moment, I completely blew up when he said that. I told him that I do not work for him and that he can not tell me what to do and called him a callous jerk that he would demand my mom deal with whatever he needed when she took off well in advance for a personal matter.
He called me a jerk and that I had no clue what I was talking about. I say that I know enough to tell that she’s being taken advantage of and that his team sounds insanely incompetent if they need to call her ALL THE TIME over every little thing.
I then told him to not call her or our family again until she returns next week. He told me to eat crap and I ended the call.
I spoke to my dad about this right after and he agreed that her boss needed to hear that but is worried that it was not my place and now she’s going to have some serious retaliation on her for what I said.
I’m really scared about that but I also think this was not a winnable situation and would have caused negative consequences regardless (I seriously doubt I could have convinced her to answer) AITJ?”
I would call your mom, tell her what happened and let her decide how to handle it, and to tell you how you should respond should this happen again. I'd bet much that there won't be any repercussions to any of your family. And good job protecting your mom.
12. AITJ For Telling My Dad His Wife Is Not My Son's Grandma?
“My parents divorced when I was 10 (now 25). Both of them remarried very quickly. My mom and stepdad have 2 more kids together, plus my stepdad’s older 2. As a kid, I lived with them 70% of the time.
My dad married a younger woman and had 3 kids.
After Kid #1, her mom (not that much older than my dad himself) moved in with them after the first kid to help take care of them.
From then on, when I visited my dad, I was supposed to call her Grandma Beth. She was nice to me and called me her grandchild but always busy with the little kids because little kids are just more work.
She didn’t force me to help her or anything, but if the little kids were all sleeping she’d go watch TV in her room or something, instead of saying ‘Hey OP, want to do something together?’ Which is fine. My dad worked a lot so Grandma Beth and my stepmom did more childcare but my stepmom and I didn’t really have a close mom-daughter relationship either.
Again, she was nice to me but didn’t make an effort to actively be my mom in the same way my stepdad did to be my dad.
I’m pregnant and there’s been a lot of talk about grandparents. On my mom’s side, they’re excited but my son won’t be the first grandchild, so there’s less pressure.
My stepdad/mom are already Grannie and Granddad and my stepdad’s mom is already Gran-Gran for the other great-grandkids.
But it’s the first grandkid on my dad’s side and has been a whole thing. I announced directly to my dad, as in ‘You’re going to be a grandpa’ but my stepmom immediately announced that she wanted to be called ‘Glamma.’ I find it to be really cringe and if it were up to me she would be the same name I called her ‘Liz’ or at most ‘Grandma Liz’ but I was willing to let it go.
But she is VERY excited to be a grandma and it’s getting on my nerves even though I’m trying to just be grateful and/or ignore it. She told everyone at her work and they got her a ‘congratulations grandma’ cake. Sending lots of gifts and ‘Glamma loves me’ onesies.
Annoying but non-harmful stuff like that.
She’s decided she’s doing a shower for me that will mostly presumably be her friends since I don’t have friends where they live. I was willing to live with that. But now she’s bringing ‘Grandma Beth’ into it too, like using ‘the grandparents’ to mean her, my dad, and her mom.
She even pitched doing one of those ‘4 generations’ pictures though I shot that down.
I finally told my dad that I was barely comfortable with my stepmom being Grandma, found Glamma to be really cringe, didn’t really want this shower, and had never thought of ‘Grandma Beth’ as my grandma or my son’s great-grandma.
My dad was really upset and said I was robbing them of this experience when they hadn’t done anything wrong to me, and that they ‘helped raise me.’ He kept asking what have they done to deserve this and, to be honest, there’s nothing specific.
Should I just let it go?”
11. AITJ For Not Wanting To Set Up A Fish Tank For My Niece?
“I am a Marine Biologist and work in an Aquarium taking care of the animals, assessing their health and behavior, and generally ensuring they’re thriving as best as they can be. Yes in an ideal world, they’d be out in the wild but if they’re going to be kept in captivity at least people like me can ensure their life is as good as possible.
I often take my 6-year-old niece to work with me if it’s not going to be too busy a day as she loves fish and learning about them and it’s something I encourage as much as I can.
My brother wants me to set up a tank for my niece so she can get some goldfish to take care of, he is of the opinion they’ll be an ‘easy’ pet for her and she loves fish so it’s a win-win right?
He also said since they’d only live a few months to a year it was far better than a puppy or any other mammal pet. He and I have very different passions and he never much cared for marine life but this really annoyed me as a Goldfish can live up to 15 years if properly cared for, they are some of the most neglected fish in the world just because of a lack of ignorance.
I told him as much and also that it was an awful idea for her to get a fish tank as no, it’s not an ‘easy’ pet and for them to have their best life it’ll need far more work than he’d be willing to do, he made it clear HE will not be doing any of the work and it’ll be my niece’s job to take care of them, now I won’t lie alarm bells went off in my head at this she loves fish but she’s also very very young she’ll be able to feed them (likely overfeed) but beyond that?
I made it clear I wasn’t going to set up a tank for him to let be neglected and he told me if I was so set on them having the ‘best life’ I could help my niece take care of them. When I refused he revealed that he’d already told her she was getting a fish tank and that her Auntie would be helping her set it up and pick out fish.
A dirty trick for sure.
She got upset and cried when I told her I wouldn’t be doing that which only annoys me more at my brother, he thinks I’m being too picky on this matter as they’re just fish but there is no just about it in my opinion.
I feel awful she is upset at this and I admit I’m worried he’ll just set up a trashy tank to make her stop being upset or god forbid a fish bowl and then that will be MY fault as at least they could have had a good setup initially.”
10. AITJ For Not Wanting To Watch My Niece?
“I love my niece (5 F). She’s been my little buddy since I (19 F) was 14. The problem has nothing to do with her and everything to do with my sister.
She was born when I was 14. My sister was practically a single mother because her baby daddy was, frankly, an idiot who was awful to my sister and hardly ever did anything for his daughter. He was around, but somehow I was left watching my niece for days at a time.
When I got off the bus during the school year and all day during the summer.
And let me tell you, watching a 3-18-(rough estimate)month-old baby by myself as a middle/high schooler was horrible, especially during the summer. It would get so hot that nothing would stop her from crying.
I was miserable and I honestly hated coming home. But there was nothing I could do about it because my sister had no help and in her eyes, I was obligated, and my parents never stopped her because there was no other option. And when I complained, my sister threw in my face that she watched me when I was little and missed school often (most of the time she was skipping school anyway, she missed two weeks in a row once).
Things only got better when my niece was enrolled in daycare and even then I was constantly babysitting. It stopped almost completely in 2020 after my sister moved out.
Fast-forward to today, I was watching my niece for Mother’s Day since I had just come home from college.
My niece wanted to go outside but I kept telling her no. My dad got fed up and took her out himself. When my mom came home I casually mentioned it to her and she got mad at me (more so because of my dad being upset I think).
We got into an argument and I brought up that I had a very good reason for not liking to watch my niece and reminded her of all the years of watching my niece until I was 3. And went quiet and stopped talking and I can’t help but feel like I shouldn’t have brought it up since it was hard for all of us and not just me.
So, AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Letting My Dog Sleep In My Room?
“My roommate has 3 dogs, a 15-year-old mix and two 3-year-old English bulldogs. I have 2 dogs, an 8-year-old German Shepherd, and an 18-month-old Malinois.
Before I bought my mal puppy, my roommate’s bulldogs slept in the living room together and my shepherd would sleep in my room with me most nights, but occasionally would sleep out in the living room or in the bathtub.
When I brought my mal puppy home, I set him up in my bedroom so I could keep an eye on him and for nighttime potty breaks. My shepherd found the puppy annoying and started spending fewer and fewer nights in my room until he basically stopped sleeping in my room altogether.
About a year ago the 2 bulldogs stopped getting along. They cannot safely be in the same room together. One of the bulldogs also cannot be kept in the mix as she stresses the old guy out. So my roommate started taking the one bulldog and mix into her room at night, leaving the second bulldog and my shepherd in the living room together.
A few weeks ago my shepherd was feeling sick (nothing serious! Pet food shortage required us to do a cold turkey switch and he had an upset stomach for a few days). When he is feeling under he becomes very clingy. So when I went up to bed, he followed me right up, jumped in my bed, and snuggled all night.
He’s feeling better now, but I guess he has decided the mal is not annoying now that he is a bit grown and that he missed sleeping in bed. My shepherd has been sleeping in my room since his stomach upset.
So here is the part where I may be the jerk, the bulldog that sleeps downstairs and HATES BEING ALONE.
She has also bonded very deeply with my shepherd and borders on being obsessed with him. She is very affectionate with him, cuddles him all the time, hides behind him when she gets scared by something, etc. (My shepherd doesn’t really care for other dogs in general. He just tolerates it all because he is a good boy)
The poor bulldog has spent all night just standing on the stairs, staring at the gate, being sad, and whining. She ends up crashing during the day as soon as someone comes down to the living room. It’s been going on for weeks, and you can tell that the dog is stressed out (losing weight, health issues flair ups, etc).
She isn’t coping any better now than the first few nights.
My roommate asked if I could let my shepherd sleep downstairs again. My shepherd is a really chill and independent dude when he isn’t feeling yucky. I could easily send him downstairs and he would be absolutely fine with it.
But, I’ve come to realize that I missed having him with me at night. He is a cuddler in the way the Mal isn’t and I just love throwing my arm around his neck and nuzzling into his ruff.
So am I the jerk for letting my shepherd sleep in my room with me when it is causing another dog in the house to basically become an insomniac on the verge of a mental breakdown?
ETA: This is not a training issue with the bulldog. She has been evaluated by vets and behavior experts. She has very weak nerves from bad genetics and has been on anti-anxiety medications most of her life. She will never be a normal dog.”
8. AITJ For Not Helping My Brother Buy Our Family House?
“I am being asked by my older brother to help him purchase our childhood home from my other 2 siblings. I cared for my mother for 14 years through cancer, she passed away 3 years ago and left an equal share to all 4 of us (I know, I was upset by this but chose not to fight it due to health issues at the time, I didn’t need the stress).
We grew up here, she was a single mother and cared for 5 children, 1 is now deceased. I have always felt like an outsider to my other siblings. I am the youngest and still living in the house due to my mother stating in the will, that I could stay as long as I needed after her death but with my health not improving the family is insisting I go or buy up.
My next oldest brother has asked me to help him buy the house but he has a family and is looking at living in the house alone with them, he suggested we build a small unit on the back of the property for me to live in but insists that I would be 100% responsible for it’s construction, I suggested that since I wouldn’t be living in the house that I could just buy into 50% of the land value and then build the unit myself as I would not be benefitting from the house at all and don’t see the use in owning 50% of something I wouldn’t even have any say in… He insists that I front up 50% of the house anyway and still insists that I would be 100% financially responsible for the unit to be built and that I would need to pay rent to stay in the house with them until it’s finished, I don’t agree with this and feel it’s completely unfair, I like living here, I have friends and my doctors nearby (I am disabled) I would like to stay here and I cannot afford to stay around this area without this deal but it seems to me that I am getting used or made a fool of in this plan.
He cannot afford to do this without me and I understand this but I have told him that he’ll need to find a way to do it on his own and my other 2 siblings have chimed in and told me that I am being the jerk in this situation because they too would like to see the house kept in the family, I argued with them to make it cheaper for our brother to afford alone but they won’t budge and we ended up arguing aggressively over it until they told me that they would cut me off if I don’t go through with it because he is family and needs me to help him with this… I feel like I’ve already sacrificed enough and helped the family enough but I know that I can be extremely stubborn as well, AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Yelling At My Mom For Ruining My Rest Day?
“I (22 NB) work night shifts. I usually go to bed around 5-6 am, then wake up around 1-2 pm and will go to my mom’s house to see my parents (50 F & 69 M), grandmother (72 F), brother (10 M) & my cats before I go to work (4-5 PM).
Wednesday & Thursday are my ‘weekends’— the two days I can sleep in. I’ve explicitly told my mother this multiple times, from when I lived with her until now. I’ve gotten progressively angrier each time I remind her for what I believe is an obvious reason.
Ever since I moved out two years ago, my mother has made it a habit that if I don’t reply to her texts by 4 pm, she will go to my home or workplace to quote ‘see if I’m alive’. There is no reason to be so drastic as I have absolutely no history of doing anything that would make me, well, not alive, other than depression when I was 13 (which I am well past the suicidal ideation phase, and have been for years).
Today I woke up at 7:30 pm, a very well-deserved 10-hour sleep and one I’ve been craving for weeks. I woke up to my mother incessantly ringing the doorbell, waking both me & my housemate up (he works early AM shifts so he had just fallen asleep) as well as our menagerie of pets being woken up & excited. He (housemate) let my mom in, and I yelled at her saying I don’t want her coming in to check on me because I’m an adult with my own life & I don’t need to be babied. I told her she ruined the one sleep-in day I allow myself a week and one I’ve been postponing for almost a month (due to other responsibilities), and that I didn’t want her to come over uninvited ever again.
My housemate said I was unnecessarily rude and that ‘it’s cute’. My mom cares enough to check on me when I don’t answer. So AITJ for blowing up at my mom?”
6. AITJ For Telling My Mother To Stop Talking About My Ex?
“I (15 f) recently just got out of a relationship with my ex (16 m). It was a messy breakup, and I was heartbroken. The first thing I did was tell my mother everything. She was the person who I trusted the most with all of this information, and I didn’t have anybody to go to besides her.
My mother was heartbroken, almost more heartbroken than me. She would weep whenever I entered the room and told me how she missed when I was with my ex. She refused to help me when I asked if we could donate some stuff that my significant other had given me, like a blanket and a couple of sweaters.
She told me I should hang onto those memories while I still can because he’s going to vanish from my life and become a stranger again and I need to hold onto him.
I knew that after me and my ex officially split we wouldn’t be talking as much anymore, or even at all, and I was completely ready to try and get over him.
But, my mother refuses to let him go, and keeps asking me how he is when we’re going to be hanging out, and if he’d like to come over. I have told my mother multiple times that I’m not comfortable with her bringing him up anymore, but she refuses to listen.
In the end, I decided the best thing to do was ignore all of her texts, and dodge all of her questions when she asked in person.
My mother was livid. She began to scream and shout at me, telling me how she was just ‘checking in on him’, and ‘making sure he was okay.’ Personally, I have just completely given up on finding out how my ex is doing, but my mother refuses to let him go.
She constantly brings up memories of me and him when we were together, and now I’ve just decided to ignore her entirely. This hasn’t gone well, and now my father is telling me that I need to grow up and just answer my mother’s questions.
AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Not Writing An Original Apology Message To My Best Friend's Husband?
“I (24 f) and my best friend (24 f) grew up in a really small southern town and we’ve been best friends since the 4th grade. Our older brothers were friends and so were our moms. So we’re very close and more like sisters.
She met her now husband (23 m) in the elementary school we all went to, so we all grew up together.
My best friend and her husband have been together for 5 years and married for 2. I’ve noticed that over the last year or two, her husband has been weird to me.
I thought he didn’t like me anymore because before they got engaged my sister and I told my best friend about the 4 women who had come to us about her husband. We had proof and presented it to her in the most sensitive way possible.
I told her I didn’t have any expectations for her and her relationship, I only told her because I would have felt like a bad friend if I sat on that information since I would expect her to tell me something like that.
Recently, I’ve found out that’s not why he doesn’t like me.
Her husband is upset that I talked about his sister with my best friend over text 3-4 years ago. The back story to that is that we were just doing what friends do when people make you mad. Her husband’s sister had done something and my best friend was venting to me.
It was so long ago we don’t remember the exact conversation and can’t find the texts. At that time, her husband went through her phone and read all of our texts. I offered to apologize that day but my best friend told me not to worry about it, that he would get over it.
So I never brought it up again. I even saw him at their youngest’s birthday party a month ago and he gave me a hug.
I ended up telling my best friend that I was sorry she was in such a crappy situation and I was willing to do anything to help rectify this.
I asked her if she would help me with the apology because she knows her husband, and I just want it to be as good as it can be. Well, my best friend offered to write one and I could tweak it as I like.
I accepted and she wrote one, I copied it, made some tweaks, and sent it. He read it and didn’t reply. I told her I’d try again in a couple of weeks if he hadn’t responded by then. Five or six days went by and he finally responded.
Before I go into that response, I want to add that while all of this is happening I’m in the middle of my life falling apart. My engagement ended, I lost my job, I had to move back in with my mom, and I tried to deal with the worst heartbreak of my life.
I woke up today on my 24th birthday to a message from her husband. I thought ‘What a great birthday gift, to have this situation fixed and we all live happily ever after.’ Nope.
He says something along the lines of – I thought you took time out of your day to apologize to me but I found out you copied and pasted what your best friend wrote.
This says a lot about what you think of me.
So now I don’t know if I was the jerk for using what she wrote, even though it was a very nice apology and really more than he deserved, or if I should have just written my own?”
4. AITJ For Wanting To Leave My Sister-In-Law's Wedding Reception Early?
“My sister-in-law is getting married in a few months. She lives 16 hours away and the wedding is in her state, so we are traveling for the wedding. We are not in the wedding. My husband’s family is not close at all, so even though we’ve been together for almost 10 years, I’m not close with any of them and most of them I’ve only met once or twice, or not at all.
Background for context: I have PTSD & ADHD. I had a very traumatic childhood with prolonged mistreatment, so my PTSD has manifested in ways that make it incredibly difficult for me to be in crowded social situations with mostly unfamiliar people. I’m not sure if I have a panic attack or what, but it seriously feels like my body is saying ‘If you do not get out now, you are going to die.’ I also have a lot of sensory/overstimulation issues because of my ADHD.
Basically, I’m a walking inconvenience in social situations. The last wedding we went to, I lasted an hour before I almost threw up from anxiety/too much noise/too many people touching me. My husband left with me, despite me asking him not to and it caused an issue with his family disliking me because I’m ‘rude’.
I do work with a therapist and psychiatrist regularly, so I am trying to get help with this but obviously, it’s a process. I’m supposed to start EMDR soon.
To help with this, I asked my husband if it was okay if I left the reception early if needed. I wanted him to stay and I would go back to the hotel room (in the same building) and practice self-care or coping skills I’ve learned in therapy in hopes that I could calm myself enough to come back down to the reception after a short break.
Ideally, I’ll be good to stay the entire time, but I want to have a plan in place just in case. He said his family would be upset if I left and that I was ‘setting myself up for failure by planning to leave early’ and he didn’t understand why I couldn’t ‘realize no one in his family is going to hurt me and that I’m safe’.
I don’t think anyone in his family will hurt me, big crowds are just very difficult for me. I can probably fake it and power through for the whole time, but my unintentional self-soothing tactic when in a stressful situation without an exit strategy is picking the sides of my thumbs subconsciously and it makes them bleed really bad, which is not exactly a great activity at a fancy wedding.
I don’t think they’d appreciate me bleeding all over their designer tablecloths. After big social situations like that, I also feel like I get a hangover from the anxiety. I don’t want to be like this and I do want to stay, but historically these types of events are very hard for me.
Also, I hate that they’re having a huge gathering in the middle of a global crisis, but that’s a topic for another day.
So, give me brutal honesty. AITJ? Am I setting myself up for failure? Do I need to just take one for the team and suck it up for the night?”
3. AITJ For Going Off At My Stepsister For Losing My Pet Snake?
“My mom recently married a guy she’s been seeing for 9 months now and he has a daughter Lisa (16). It’s been a huge struggle for me, even tho my dad passed when I was 8 (15 f now) it’s been hard seeing another man as my new dad but I’ve tried to be accepting of this new life.
Lisa absolutely is a nightmare though, I’ve tried to get along with her but she has told me that she’s not interested in having a sister and to stay away from her so I do.
Well, they moved in after their recent marriage, and since it’s only a 2-bedroom house Lisa moved into my bedroom.
It’s been very difficult sharing my room with her, especially since she’s always insulting me about everything. How I read too much, how my tossing and turning in my sleep keeps her awake (restless legs) and everything. The biggest issue though is I have a pet snake who I love I’ve had him for two years it’s a ball python and he’s my baby.
Lisa made it clear the moment she walked in she was terrified and hated snakes, even making comments like it should get its head chopped off or be thrown outside and it can’t even love me.
I’ve tried to be accommodating and only have the snake out when she’s out with friends or taking a bath, I only hold him like 2 hours a day anyway.
It’s been an issue when she walks in and sees me and tells me she isn’t comfortable knowing a snake has been slithering around.
Well, I got home from school after my reading club and found my snake just gone. He has a locked door that opens in front, there is no way he escaped. I took the entire tank apart.
I sobbed for hours and put out water bowls and heat pads to try and lure him out. My mom’s been trying to help. Then when my step-sister said ‘I told you it didn’t love you. If it did it’d come when you called its name’.
I realized that this must have been her doing. I started screaming at her all awful things.
Mom had to separate us and she told me I shouldn’t have done that because I have no proof she did anything and she denies it, but it doesn’t make sense otherwise… I just want Toby back… AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Adding My Neighbor's Name And Phone Number To His Crazy Notes?
“I have a car in a street with the public parking. Someone kept writing me and other residents notes about me taking ‘their’ space even though my city’s resident street parking permits mean you can park in any spot in about a 2-mile area around your home.
I saw who was writing them and realized it was another guy in my apartment complex. I also was able to find out his phone number because my roommate used to be friends with his ex so she has his phone number.
Anyway instead of removing the petty notes, I added a ‘John Smith.
123-456-7890′ to the end of each note and then put them back on my car windshield but inside the glass. Seven of them.
Plus an 8th note saying ‘I’ve gotten the memo. Seven times. Unfortunately, you will need to apply for a special parking permit such as a moving permit, construction permit, or disability permit if you need to reserve a specific street space.
Otherwise, your residential parking permit will permit you to park in any space within 2 miles of your home address.’
It was kinda just meant to be a petty joke because he was acting kinda crazy leaving seven different notes on my car and other cars about how people couldn’t park on the public street.
So I thought it would be a little funny to make him realize how crazy he was being, and also make him realize he wasn’t as anonymous as he thought he was about it.
I also put a dashcam in my car in case he messed with it.
Anyway, what happened next got him pretty mad. I guess a lot of people on my street were wondering who kept leaving notes on their cars so once I signed his name and contact info to his notes, he got some calls and complaints from the neighbors and property manager.
And he left another angry note on my car saying that I had ‘blackmailed’ him which… I don’t think he knows what that word means.
Anyway, he asked the property manager who’s car mine was and the guy wouldn’t say?
AITJ for leaving the crazy guy’s notes out, but with an added phone number?”
1. AITJ For Being Mad At My Wife For Forcing Our Daughter To Cut Her Hair?
“My wife is currently battling cancer, and one of the things she’s told me she’s struggling with the most was losing her hair. She’s been given a near 100% chance of survival since we caught it early, but the chemotherapy has destroyed her hair anyway, and she had to shave what was left of it off a few weeks ago.
Not long after that, she suggested we attempt to get our 17-year-old daughter, Anna, to do so as well. Anna has very long hair that she puts a lot of care into so I felt it was appropriate to ask her in private if she wanted to/would be willing to do such a thing.
She told me that she didn’t want to cut her hair and I figured that was the end of that.
However yesterday they came home from a ‘girls’ shopping trip’, something they do every so often, and Anna had a buzzed haircut. That struck me as odd after what she’d said, so after dinner, I talked to her and she told me that my wife had said she would never forgive Anna if she didn’t show her support by buzzing her head.
I asked her if she was happy about it and she said that she wasn’t.
When I went to bed, I brought it up with my wife and she said ‘It was Anna’s choice to or not, I just told her how I’d see the situation.’
I told her off, saying she needed to respect Anna’s personal choices and that a 17-year-old girl being against shaving her head wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary, however, my wife simply said it was to show support for her.
I’ve been sleeping on the couch since.
I love my wife, and I understand that she’s going through something traumatic, however, her attitude comes off as very manipulative to me, and that’s not behavior I feel I can personally accept. I’m not sure if I can move past this to continue the relationship.
AITJ?”
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Your problem is that your aunt looked and felt beautiful on the day, but when she got her wedding pictures back, she had no idea how photogenic you obviously are, and you clearly upstaged her in all the pictures. That's why she didn't say anything on the day, because she didn't know. Again, not your fault, nothing you can do to fix it. She's just going to have to get over herself and so is the rest of your family. Best of luck.