People Want To Know If We Hate Them In Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

Unsplash
Dealing with a lot of people is hard because it also means having to deal with different kinds of attitudes and personalities. When you come across someone who's kind of jerkish, it can be a test of patience, and when you reach the point where there's no patience left to spend, you burst your annoyance out, and if those people around you are not understanding enough, they will mistake you for being the jerk even when the truth is you just reacted to what nonsense other people are giving you. Here are some stories from people who had been in that kind of situation. Read on and let us know who you think the real jerk is. AITJ = Am I the jerk? NTJ = Not the jerk WIBTJ = Would I be the jerk? YTJ = You're the jerk

25. AITJ For Not Wanting Help From My Friends?

Pexels

“So I (27F) currently have a freelance teaching job that pays me a little bit more than minimum wage per session (I teach 10-12 classes/month). I was really hesitant to take the job at first since my friends, Josh (32M) and Tin (29F) kept telling me that it’s gonna be a loss for me. But so far, I sincerely enjoy the job since it gave me a work-life balance throughout this period (and it gave me time to get to know myself better and create healthy habits).

Recently, due to Josh’s persuasion (and probably pressure), I decided to move out of my current place, and move into a place near his. However, during this period, I constantly get aggressive comments about my current job from both of them (90% of the time they tell me that it was a stupid idea to accept the offer). They have also opened up about how frustrating it was for them to see my career decisions.

With that in mind, they would constantly make offers for me to apply for other jobs particularly, jobs where I will work for/around their families. Although I’m grateful for their offers, I noticed a lot of workplace red flags. Thus, I constantly reject them. Since, the last time I accepted an offer from them, I got overworked and underpaid.

But they were still persistent to a point that we got into an argument.

They told me that I’ve been blocking their help and that I should not depend so much on my family (since my family’s helping me greatly with the move). They told me that I’m basically wasting all their help for me to get out of my bad family situation last year.

They even demanded that I should do something (since they believe that I’m all talk but no work).

They even told me that I owe them since they did something I asked for and more.

So I told them that I’m trying my best to live within my means and what I’ve been actually doing (which they still think is all talk but no work). I also even told them that I never asked for anything else than what I actually needed from them. They have a choice to even reject the favor.

I understand where they are coming from. I also understand that my situation could be considered ‘shameful.’

However, I’m starting to feel like Josh and Tin’s persistence with regards to their job offers to me is just a form of convenience to them and their way of telling me that I should ‘pay back’ for their help.

I am doing what’s best for me in this situation… so AITJ for continuously rejecting their offer of help?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your friends’ behavior is truly bizarre given the context that you have provided. They’re being super controlling and judgemental, and getting involved in something you haven’t asked for their help on. If you are able to sustain yourself on the job you have I don’t see why they need to try to ‘save’ you from it.” Kitotterkat

4 points (4 votes)
Post

User Image
TJHall44 1 month ago
So they're mad because their families can't use you for cheap labor? Fck them. They aren't real friends.
2 Reply
View 1 more comment

24. WIBTJ If I Tell My Roommate He Can't Eat Unless He Pays?

Pexels

“I (M18) and roommate H (M18) share an apartment with K (M18), share a fridge with one another, and lately I have noticed food has been missing. Things like cheese, eggs, milk, etc. I know it is K because I cook for myself and H. H helps pays for the ingredients.

Last week I bought a 9-pack of chicken breast and planned to use it for multiple meals for the next few weeks.

I used two breasts for Alfredo and put the other seven in the freezer to use at a later date.

I was in the mood to cook up some baked chicken, and they were no longer there. I thought that was odd, as I haven’t touched them, but I had noticed K had been eating chicken more in the last couple of days.

At the time I thought nothing of it due to him having his own.

I was wrong it was the breast I had bought. Now H and I will have to buy more. So WIBTJ if I told him he can no longer use the stuff I bring unless he helps pay for it?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

You are not obligated to pay for your roommate’s food.

Frankly, I would not even want to share food expenses with him because he seems like the kind of person who would eat a disproportionate amount of food.

Anyone who ate ALL of the chicken he hadn’t paid for would have no shame about eating all of the food he had kicked in a percentage of.

You are better off telling him that your food is off-limits and not thinking about sharing food expenses with him because that is going to lead to another question on this forum when you ask whether it is okay if your roommate eats all the food in a day that is meant to last a week.” Jujulabee

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

I would have brought it up when I first noticed missing food, though, not wait until it becomes a major problem. A lot of people don’t want to confront an issue and hope it is resolved by itself but it never works that way. It just gets worse and in the meantime, the injured party’s emotions fester, and the entitled party feels justified in what they do (they didn’t say no so they are OK with it) so when the confrontation does happen it is much more likely to get ugly very quickly.” User

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

K is a leech taking advantage of you. You absolutely can say no more eating YOUR food, and also I would say ask him to pay you back for the chicken breasts. (Those big bags can get expensive.) (Also… how was eating way more than half the bag at all reasonable? How.)” BogwitchOfTheBog

4 points (4 votes)
Post

User Image
StumpyOne 2 months ago
It is amazing to me how many of these posts are just people asking AITJ forwanting basic respect. No, you do not deserve to be stolen from. No, you do not deserve to be harassed or called names or hit or have identity theft or any of those other things that everyone before you has asked. Please tell him he has to pay you back and then stand firm. If it's a college roommate kind of situation, I would definitely report him to the RA. As long as YOU are respectful and firm, you are never the jerk for asking others to treat you respectfully.
2 Reply

23. WIBTJ If I Tell My Mom I Don't Want To Hear About Heavy News During Meal?

Pexels

“I (24F) work with my mom (53F). Though we share an interest in stuff like true crime and such, how I react to world news or simply news in general when it comes to heavy subjects is very different than my mom. I think I’m more sensitive than her, and at times she can get a little harsh when it comes to that. For context for that, we once had an argument about her use of a certain word with it ending in her getting in my face and saying that ‘no one cares about my feelings’ and I was being a ‘snowflake liberal’ (Not joking, I promise.

This isn’t me trolling). I’m still really hurt about that as I have issues about validating my own feelings and such which kind of steam from similar stuff being said in my past.

Anyway, that was just a little info and background about how she and I react to things and our tolerance of heavy subjects. What I want to ask and the reason for posting this was something she just showed me from BBC (she has a dislike for American news so she goes to other countries’ news) and I immediately was upset.

I asked her why would she show me that and she responded ‘well my twin’s name here didn’t believe me.’ So I said ‘Yeah well I’m not twin’s name so you didn’t have to show me that.’ We are currently at our place of work, so I couldn’t just go off and went back to my cubicle. She’s currently having lunch while I can’t stand to think about eating.

I want to have this conversation with her but I feel like I would be the jerk if I did because I don’t typically mind outside of our workplace setting as I can just distract myself but I have things I need to get done and don’t want to be in a bad headspace. So, would I be the a-hole I set this boundary of not wanting to be shown heavy subject topics or articles while at work?

Edit to add:

Like a lot of people my age, I live with my mom due to financial reasons.

I don’t have the credit or funds to buy a place and rent alone without considering other things such as groceries, utilities, pet costs, etc would take up the majority of my salary. I was working on getting a degree in nursing after high school to gain independence, but unfortunate events and overall burnout caused me to drop out and work retail. And since I did take classes on administrative-based work just as filler credits so I could get into the nursing program, I was able to get this job based on my mom vouching for me, though I did work hard to get the accounts I work on now.”

Another User Comments:
“YWNBTJ.

‘Mom, when we are at work, I expect us to keep things professional. You know that in any other work situation, you wouldn’t show that to a coworker. I am here to do a job, not watch tv news with you.’ Really, though, if you can, find another job or something to get away from your mom. I’m a sensitive person too, and have to guard my brain and heart when it comes to news of the world; you aren’t overly sensitive, it’s that most of the world is pretty disconnected to the pain of others less fortunate.

Be glad you are a feeling person, and you are allowed to have boundaries.” pdxflwerpwer

Another User Comments:
“NTJ and a very touchy situation working with your mom. you can try NOT having a big conversation and instead when she attempt to show you/talk to you about stuff you can say ‘not right now mom, I’m about to finish break’ or ‘no thanks’ or ‘can we talk about something else.’ If she doesn’t get the hint, then you could say ‘I just think that’s too controversial/political/heavy for work and I’d rather not get into it.’

Sounds like she doesn’t respect your opinion much so get ready to deal with insults, etc.

but stand firm. You’re being professional.” tinny36

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, your mother is pushing your boundaries and ignoring your feelings. It’s inappropriate of her to show you stuff that you’re not comfortable with (which she is well aware of) anywhere, including your shared place of employment. Definitely set the boundaries straight with her and if she doesn’t respect that, go no contact or even involve HR if it’s at work again.” ClearlyCaileigh

3 points (3 votes)
Post


22. AITJ For Expecting My Sister To Respect My Daughter?

Pexels

“My sister recently misunderstood a situation that was none of her business between my son (13) and me. He wanted a ride to something that I had previously RSVPed ‘not going’ and he called my family to see if they could take him last minute since I wasn’t home yet. His cousin, who is like a brother to him, agreed to bring him. Suddenly, my sister was creating a group family text, writing that I was neglecting my son after she texted me first that I was neglectful and that I suck as a mom.

She even texted my daughter, who is away at college, that she wished she had taken my kids away from me years ago because she would make a better mom to them.

My daughter asked her why she was sending it to her, and my sister went off on her, writing horrendously vicious accusations about my daughter being an addict (she’s 19 and on anti-depressants) and writing stuff that not only wasn’t true but things she made up as she went, taunting my daughter and ripping her character apart – to her own niece.

I told my daughter that she held herself up well when responding to her aunt, but she literally had a meltdown after she blocked her aunt. I hadn’t responded to my sister’s text, knowing from experience that her words mean nothing and a response would only add to her fire, but this was the first time my daughter had experienced this vicious side of her aunt.

AITJ for expecting my sister to be respectful of my daughter and to apologize?”

Another User Comments:
“I mean-are you a jerk for expecting your sister to be respectful of your daughter and apologize? No. Of course not. Is that a realistic expectation? Also no.

From her behavior, I’m guessing your sister has some mental issues, and being respectful and apologizing for her outrageous behavior simply isn’t who she is.

Don’t hold on to that expectation, you will be disappointed.

Blocking her aunt is her best protection; all you can really do here is let your daughter know you sympathize and are on her side and that she shouldn’t take her crazy aunt seriously. NTJ.” B4pangea

Another User Comments:
“NTJ – Your sister is a toxic person and I don’t think this is the first time she probably oversteps.

Her threats to your daughter that she should have taken your kids don’t seem like something new to her.

You are also a little bit the jerk as she is in your children’s lives and creating damage to them. She is not someone that should have access to them even as adults.” Dounesky

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, OP. Your sister needs to chill and get over herself. I mean, why does an adult feel the need to insult and degrade someone years or even decades younger than them?

‘You couldn’t drive your son somewhere he wanted and your daughter takes anti-depressants? OMG, OP you’re such a bad mother!’ But seriously OP, what is wrong with your sister and her line of thinking?” otinanairebro

2 points (2 votes)
Post

User Image
TJHall44 1 month ago
Your sister is horrible. Go no contact on her, tell your son & daughter do the same, how dare she speak that way! She does it because obviously she gets away with it over & over.
1 Reply

21. AITJ For Being Annoyed At My Brother's Partner?

Pexels

“I (27F) had a baby last year and ever since, my health hasn’t been the greatest and I haven’t been able to go back to work. I live with my brother (22) and his SO (23) I’ll call her Elle and their baby. My depression has been at its all-time high to the point where I’ve been taking meds. I just feel like I’ve been handed a lot of problems this last year…

Elle has always been real passive-aggressive and sometimes I think she tries to compete with me, my mom has noticed it too. Here lately she’s been using my situation to make herself feel better about where she’s at. I’m always the butt of her jokes and I usually just laugh it off but this last time just struck a nerve, so now to the time in question:

On Sunday my family all went to the lake and I’m not sure how it got brought up but someone said something about my kid sister (14) smoking.

Elle chimed in and said yeah you don’t want to end up like SmollBeanBaby! To which I replied yea you could end up like Ellen’s 2 degrees and won’t do anything with them cuz ThE Drives ToO far, grow up dude. She called me a jerk and now will barely say anything to me, so AITJ?

Edit: We hashed it out today. I had talked to my brother about possibly moving out and he was totally against the idea when I told him why and how I felt he talked to her about it.

Elle came to me and told me how sorry she was forever making me feel anything but welcome. I do love this girl, she is my sister too so we were able to come to an agreement about how certain things for the both of us are off the table when it comes to making jokes.”

Another User Comments:
“YTJ, my guess is that brother’s SO is beyond fed up with you in their house.

It’s clear you resent Ellen and ‘Ellen’s 2 degrees and won’t do anything with them cuz ThE Drives ToO far.’ Ellen’s job is entirely between her and your brother–not your business, especially since you’re living on HER turf, not the other way around.

She’s got a baby and is frustrated coping with that and finding work that fits around it–if she’s got two degrees, yeah, it does suck to be out of doing something you like and juggling child care, a potential commute, and an unwanted and openly contemptuous house inhabitant.” Sea-Mud5386

Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here.

I think you’ve worn out your welcome in their home OP. What seemed like a good idea at the time I think has backfired. They’re supporting you AND your baby, while juggling one of their own, paying the bills, groceries, etc.

If I were her, I’d want you out too. See if you can move back to your mom’s where hopefully you’ll be more welcomed. If you choose to stay, I think your relationship with your SIL will only get worse without you contributing.

It sucks but I’d move out voluntarily before things go down and I’m forced to move.” shzan1

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

A long overdue and proper roast. If she won’t speak to you, I’d call that mission accomplished. Keep returning her passive aggression with verbal retorts because actions have consequences. Maybe she’ll think twice before saying anything and if she talks behind your back, I leave you with the wisdom of Megan Thee Stallion: ‘I don’t care who talk behind my back cuz they knew better than to let me hear her!'” SatanicSunflower

Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here. Communication doesn’t seem like anyone’s strong point. She made jokes that bother you, which you laughed about instead of saying they bothered you. She’s obviously not ok with you being there, but she doesn’t talk about how to improve the situation. Maybe you’re no longer welcome there, and your brother’s gf has a terrible way of showing it.” Own-Tone1083

2 points (2 votes)
Post

User Image
TJHall44 1 month ago
NTA, every time she takes a jab at you, call her out immediately.
0 Reply
View 1 more comment

20. AITJ For Being Late At Easter?

Pexels

“Had a great relationship with my parents for years. Obviously, there were problems like with any other but mostly always on good terms.

In September, my fiancé and I got engaged. At first, my parents were great about it and very supportive and happy. However, since then it’s been miserable.

At least twice a month, I get a phone call from my mom saying that she’s being left out of making decisions, criticizing the choices we’ve made, that no one’s told her anything about the plans, that I need to ‘pull my head out of my butt’ etc.

For each of these, I’ve just apologized and said I will try to do better and be more considerate of her feelings which I’ve tried despite being pretty positive that I’ve kept her in the loop on most things. What weirded me out however was she only ever wanted to discuss these things with me and never my partner and me.

This weekend, I was going to go up and see them at Easter.

We had seen them on Christmas before and it had been fine, but Thanksgiving was a nightmare that ended in my mom canceling it. We were supposed to go over around 6 as my parents had originally canceled this too but had it back on at the last minute. My fiancé was helping paint her store as she had made plans for when this event was canceled.

I called at 5 to apologize that she was running late and that I did not want them to have to wait much longer on us, that we would swing up afterward to say hi and visit. These resulted in them telling me not even to bother coming and hanging up.

I’m really conflicted here. I’ve been trying to do the right thing this last year but the more I get these calls from my parents the more it’s breaking me down mentally.

AITJ here?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, your mom is being a monster-in-law.

It’s a parent’s job to love and support their kid unconditionally. Your mom has no right to demand to have a certain role in wedding planning. It sucks that she’s making your fiancé feel left out, too.

Your mom may or may not listen to logic and reasoning here. You can and should try, but ultimately you need to be supportive of your fiancé and set boundaries with your parents if they are going to be harmful like this.

Do you have any idea what triggered this behavior in your mother? Has she always acted like this, or is it a shift since your engagement?” UnsharpenedSwan

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

First, stop apologizing. You’re not doing anything wrong. She isn’t including your fiance because she wants you to do things her way. She can’t guilt-trip her but she can guilt-trip you.

Your mom’s behavior change is due to these reasons:

She thinks your fiance is taking her baby away

She wants to make the wedding about what she wants like it’s her day.

She is also having tantrums to get you to prioritize her feelings, needs, and wants over your fiance.

Hoping to make things miserable and stressful so that it will get called off.

Trying to assert control in this because she realizes she is losing control (whether she had any, to begin with, I’m not sure but it’s her perceived control)

She is asserting her dominance over your fiance in a covert way because if she includes her in the convo and is nasty to your fiance, it could push you away.

You probably have either walked on eggshells all your life to not upset her, or you have never asserted any boundaries with her and so she is freaking out.

First, don’t be afraid of hurting her feelings, making her sad or angry, you are not responsible for her feelings or emotions. You and your fiance need to sit down with her, and you need to say ‘This is our wedding and all decisions will NOT be made with her approval as it isn’t her wedding.

She would be included more if she didn’t criticize every choice that has been made. If she wants to be included now and in the future, she needs to respect you and your fiance’s choices and stop making everything about her. If she can’t, then don’t expect to be anything but a guest’.” McflyThrowaway01

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I suggest you send both families an email with an attachment that includes the wedding decisions made.

In the email, you can say that as the wedding approaches, tensions are increasing and you & fiancé have decided to step up and do your part. Since this is your wedding, you will make the decisions. So as not to offend anyone, we will return all funds provided in support of the wedding. We are happy to provide clarification; however, hurtful comments will be viewed as an effort to reduce the joy and happiness you want to share with family and friends as you begin your married life together. The attached sheet will be updated as new decisions are made. Then attach a sheet that has a list of things you need to make decisions about. Date, wedding venue, reception venue, number of guests for the bride, number of guests for the groom, … etc. I am sure you can find a list online.” iadggm

2 points (2 votes)
Post

User Image
alohakat 2 months ago (Edited)
To iadggm: You had me right up to the part about the list...do NOT include a list! It absolutely okay to make a list for yourself, but keep the list for yourself in case you forget something in the planning rush. If a list is included in the email, OP's mother, sure as the sky is blue, will take that as a signal as to what OP and fiance need to buy/have done and totally run with it, then present the completed list as a fait accompli. If OP wants to keep even a little bit of control over the wedding, he needs to keep mom out of it entirely.
4 Reply
View 1 more comment

19. AITJ For Giving My Friend's Things To The Mugger?

Pexels

“Earlier this week, I had been walking around downtown in my city with a friend. We had been bar hopping and having a good time together. One of the bars we wanted to go to was inside an alleyway and on the way to it, we got stopped by a guy wearing all black. His hand was in his hoodie pocket and he was threatening to shoot us.

I doubted he actually had anything but I’m not one to question someone who’s willing to threaten me. I decided to go with the fright portion of fright or flight and my friend picked flight. She immediately ran back down the alley. The dude let her go but was clearly panicking. I was the only one with a purse that night (my friend’s stuff was in it with mine) and the guy seemed to only want a wallet and a phone, not the whole purse.

He demanded I give him my stuff and I decided to hand him, my friends, phone, and wallet.

Fortunately, as soon as I did that, he ran the other way and I beelined straight into the bar. After calling the cops and finding my friend again, she found out what I had done and went off on me about how selfish I was for giving her things to the mugger.

Obviously, I was shocked by her bluntness. Now she wants to sue me for letting her things get stolen even though she abandoned me (she claims she was getting help). Am I the jerk? Should I have to pay for her things? I don’t know if she’s going to press charges or how likely it will work in her favor. I am still really shaken up and I feel guilty but I also feel extremely betrayed.”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

I really wish you well in regaining your sense of safety. That’s a very scary thing to happen and your friend’s unhelpful responses are just adding insult to the injury. She ran off without you, leaving you to fend for yourself. I can’t blame her for protecting herself, although I can’t imagine doing the same. You both did what you could to minimize personal injury.

Really, I cannot believe she is more focused on her phone than being grateful for your safety! Very trashy of her to be guilt-tripping you immediately after trauma too.

I understand being disappointed about losing her things, but that should be the last priority and she shouldn’t be putting that on you. A good friend would be asking your forgiveness and giving thanks that the worst didn’t happen. This person is not a good friend.” ifnotdaythen

Another User Comments:
“NTJ – the minute you run leaving me behind, you’re no longer my friend. The minute you’re no longer my friend, your assets take lesser of a priority than my life or my assets.

So I’d say ask her to go ahead and sue. Your non-friend can knock herself out trying to convince a jury that you were guilty in a mugging where you were a victim.” CogentHawk

Another User Comments:
“One thing to note. The saying is ‘Fight or Flight’. Fight, meaning you stand your ground -or- flight, meaning you run.

NTJ. She literally ran. That’s how much she cared about her stuff. And you?! Why is this person your friend? Let her lawyer up, go through all the proceedings over a phone and wallet (of which all cards can be easily and quickly canceled), and then she’ll get the bill from her lawyer. When this happens, look smug when you ask her if it was worth it.” User

2 points (2 votes)
Post

User Image
Realitycheck 2 months ago
What a crappy friend. As far as I'm concerned, she abandoned you AND her belongings. So, screw the guilt trip. She isn't your friend. Relatively speaking, the running part is a fear instinct kinda deal, so I could maybe overlook that, but to make you feel guilt is really trashy.
1 Reply
View 1 more comment

18. WIBTJ If I Don't Invite My Messy Friend To My Party?

Pexels

“I (17m) am having a small party this weekend like I do most weekends with my friends. In the group there are ten of us, all the same age and all go to the same school. Recently, I have been having them around frequently (almost every week). Most of us have been drinking for about three years and know our tolerance. Like most people, we have slip-ups and drink too much and vomit but there is one friend who I will call Mc who about 7/10 times when he drinks he gets in a bad state.

He will vomit and be in a bad state for hours. Last weekend, he had a half bottle and was sick all over himself (outside) and sat covered in vomit for about 2 hours. I helped him by getting water and a jacket to warm him up most nights. I tell him when he’s being sick not to lie down so it would go on the floor and not on him.

For 17-year-old boys, it’s funny at the start but it normally kills the mood as he has to be constantly checked on. I would ask him to come and not drink but last time he didn’t enjoy himself as we were all wasted and he wasn’t. I don’t want to exclude him as he is a close friend but he has vomited in people’s houses on their floors before when he was barely wasted.

And I wouldn’t be allowed to have friends round if that happened

This is in Scotland so drinking at our age is the norm and you’re probably weirder if you haven’t.”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. He isn’t fun to drink with so it’s reasonable to only invite him if he agrees not to drink, which you tried, but also didn’t work well. Just putting up with him being a mess isn’t a viable option.

He’s got 3 choices: prove he’s learned to drink in moderation and won’t be a jerk, after which point he can come again, just don’t drink and find a way to have fun and be fun anyhow, only be a non-drinking events friend (playing a sport, etc).

NTJ.” psatty

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your friend may want to get tested for intolerance, which can be life-threatening in rare cases.

But if it turns out he’s just a lousy drinker then you have every right to not invite him. Nobody likes a buzzkill. On a separate note, coming from a recovering heavy drinker, please be careful.” DescipleofPaimei

Another User Comments:
“NTJ but I would suggest giving your friend the option between not getting wasted or not going. If you make the choice for him by not inviting him, and he finds out about it after, he might resent you for it.” Antroplasm

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
Theflamazing1 2 months ago
Esh, including commentors. You get wasted every weekend. That's a problem. If you are drinking just to get wasted, that's a problem. If your friend has tolerance issues, he's going to end up dead. You are all 50% more likely to become alcoholics.
1 Reply
View 2 more comments

17. WIBTJ For Canceling On A Bachelorette Party A Few Days In Advance?

Pexels

“So I know that the title sounds bad, but let me explain the situation. I committed to attending a bachelorette party back in early February and it’s happening this coming weekend. About 2 weeks after I said I would go, I found out I was pregnant. It was planned, it just happened a lot quicker than I had anticipated. I let the other girls know (just because part of it is a wine tour and I didn’t want them to wonder why I wasn’t drinking), and still planned to attend.

There are only 3 attendees plus the bride.

My issue is that for the past few weeks, the pregnancy has made me incredibly sick. I have missed work, I’m dehydrated and I’ve been throwing up. I spent most of Easter weekend in bed. I am sick all day, every day. I am now 13 weeks and I was optimistic that it would have calmed down by now but it hasn’t.

I am scared that I’ll go on this trip, and just end up being sick the whole time.

If I don’t go, I still plan on paying my share of the expenses (for accommodations, activities, etc) for what has been booked, as I don’t want to put anyone out financially. My portion amounts to about $500. I’m just concerned that I’m going to be too sick to participate and ruin it for everyone.

On the other hand, so few people are going that my absence would be noticeable and I don’t want the bride to feel bad. WIBTJ for canceling?”

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here – Ultimately you have to do what is best for you and your baby. No actual friend would want you to put your health or pregnancy at risk to attend their bachelorette trip. If you are not concerned about the added stress of travel or being sick in an unfamiliar environment, you could ask the bride if she wants you to still attend knowing that your participation will be limited.

If you the travel is more than you are comfortable dealing with right now (understandable, getting sick at home is bad enough), just tell her that it’s in your budget and you want to make a nice gesture, you could pay to have flowers or champagne delivered to her hotel room when she arrives.

If you haven’t already, talk to your doctor about your ongoing extreme symptoms.

There could be something that they can do to help.” Forward_Squirrel8879

Another User Comments:
“YWNBTJ.

Morning sickness is no joke, and it sounds miserable to try to be partying with friends while you’re experiencing this.

Talk to the bride and see if there is something you can do, you and her, to make her feel special a bit closer to home and when you are feeling well. Let her know why you’re bailing and how sick you are.

See if there’s a way you can facetime and congratulate her at some designated point during the party.

It may be disappointing to the bride, but if she’s a good friend she’ll understand. It’s good on you to pay for your expenses, and definitely an NTJ move.” Independent-Length54

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here.

Be honest with the bride about what’s been going on. The fact that you’re still willing to let them have your share of the costs is a nice gesture.

I get that it feels awkward because the party only has a few people and honestly as someone with only a few things I can imagine this situation for myself, too.

Forcing yourself to go and being sick on the trip would just make the others worry and not be able to fully enjoy their wine tour and everything because it’ll be very prominent in their mind that they’re there but you’re clearly sick.

I feel that if the bride is a good friend she’d rather you recuperate at home where you’d be most comfortable.

Things happened, and you just ended up pregnant quicker than you planned for, and with pregnancy symptoms so unique among women (on topics where you see mothers converging you see statements that range wildly from ‘it wasn’t that bad, I didn’t even get stretch marks!’ to experiences like this where the pregnancy was pretty debilitating or even dangerous/life-threatening.)

If it really matters, maybe suggest that you could take her out for something on a day you’re feeling better? To get her nails done, or go to a salon or day spa or something.

I know you wanted to be there especially to make numbers but being pregnant I don’t think you’d be able to get much out of the wine tour anyway, and from my anxiety goggles perspective, I’d be worried about you not having the best time because you can’t get involved with the full experience and might end up the sober one while everyone gets a bit tipsy/wasted.” sarusagi

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

These are unforeseen circumstances. Bad things happen. It’s just part of life. I’m worried that if you go, you will be just miserable. Imagine how this might go down. Your olfactory senses and sensitivity to motion are heightened during pregnancy, especially if you’re experiencing hyperemesis. How cool will it be when the overwhelming aroma of an aged Cabernet hits your nose and all of a sudden your stomach turns upside down? Same thing if food is involved at some point in the evening.

A bachelorette party is just that – a party. And, you’re not well enough to go to a party. I understand you feel bad about the fact that the bride only invited such a small group, but that really is beyond your control. I would just let the bride know ASAP that you likely won’t be making the event.” JasmineAndCloves

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
Gamergirl 2 months ago
Ntj. You're pregnant and have to make sure you take care of yourself.
0 Reply

16. AITJ For Telling My Sister To Stop Talking Trash About Our Dad?

Pexels

“I don’t like calling her my half-sister, so I’m going to call her Chelly. In order, we are John (32), Sierra (24), Allison (also 24), Chelly (23, resulting from our father’s affair), and myself (21, the make-up baby). For the most part, we all get along well enough that we don’t introduce each other as half-siblings, just siblings.

Chelly grew up with only her single mother until she was 9.

Then her mother allowed her to visit most weekends so that we would get to know her as our sister. Our whole family treated her very well and she is well adjusted to the family and knows she is always welcome. Chelly has keys to the house and her own bedroom here now that the older kids have flown the nest. It’s also closer to the community college we both go to.

She holds an understandable resentment towards our father for not being there for her, and she uses the notion that our father never paid her child support. I was upset at hearing this so I started doing research. I didn’t want to accuse my father outright of being a deadbeat dad to Chelly, so I started with my three older siblings. They all stated that because our father paid her mother so much in child support, they hardly had any funds for basic school supplies, field trips, and new clothes among other things.

But it still wasn’t enough for me, so I confronted my father about it (I probably should’ve done this first). He showed me an old filing cabinet FILLED with orders and checks each one $2500+ all directed to Chelly’s mother. I was astonished. My father saved them in case her mother claimed in court that he never paid. But turns out Chelly’s mother only told her that father never paid.

He doesn’t actually know what she was doing with the money and she wouldn’t tell him.

Now for the hard part, Chelly has an extreme amount of respect for her mother, for being a poverty-stricken single mother. Recently, Chelly has been making jokes to me about our father for being cheap and never paying her child support. It bothers me a lot. I know she’s allowed to resent him, but he worked himself to the bone to pay that child support and support all his children.

I told my older siblings about what she has been saying and they suggest I call her out and show her the proof he did. My sister, Allison even said, ‘Chelly better not say that around me.’

The thing is though Chelly only says these things around me, possibly, because I, myself, never lived in poverty. Our parents had me when their luck was turning and was more financially literate, so maybe I just don’t understand.

I also don’t feel like it is my place to say that her mother was probably spending it on herself. It would change her whole worldview, but at the same time, it infuriates me when Chelly talks trash about our father. I don’t want to tell her this just to get back at her, which is what my mother says. Would I be the jerk in telling Chelly her mother was probably spending the child support funds on herself to get Chelly to stop talking trash about our dad?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

She should know the truth but your delivery of that information is crucial.

As you don’t know what her mum spent the on, accusing her of spending it on herself isn’t the way to go as she may have been using that moolah to pay the rent or something in order to appear more stable/capable in front of her daughter, and saying your dad is a deadbeat who didn’t pay covered the fact that they couldn’t have more than the bare minimum.

I think that you should sit her down and have a conversation where you’re perfectly honest with her, like your comments about our dad being a deadbeat and cheap have been bothering me, so I’ve been looking/asking around and confronted dad about it because I needed to know for myself if that’s the kind of man he is, and he showed me all this paperwork that shows he paid your mum moolah from Xy to Yy and I don’t know what your mum’s said to you all your life but our dad did all he could to take responsibility for all of us and I’d appreciate if you stopped talking smack about him that’s based on a lie.

Your dad is being open and transparent, you should be open and transparent. Show her the filing cabinet and the paperwork if that’s the type of proof she needs.

I know that people are gonna say stuff like mind your own business or that this is her parents’ problem but I sense that you care about your dad and that what she says about him bothers you.

I’m very big on honesty, especially as I grow older. Chelly may get upset with you or she may blow up on her mum on this but here’s the thing: this all started with the narrative her mum was trying to create of your dad while she was growing up. Since she started building a relationship with you guys, you have taken her in with open arms and she even has keys and her own room in your home.

She may even have inherent feelings due to her criticisms that you guys had it great while she suffered due to not being part of the main family unit but as the baby of an affair, which is not the case. I feel that because of this image she has of your father that she’ll feel an unspoken bitterness/distance towards him which I do not feel he deserves.

Heck, since you confronted him about it and he had to show you the cabinet, he might even feel bad now because he now knows what she really thinks of him.

If you wanna tell her, tell her and focus on the facts and don’t go into talking bad about her mum or assuming where the moolah went. If her view of her mother changes due to hearing the truth and seeing the evidence, that should be her choice to make and her mother’s consequence to bear but you would not be the jerk for doing it.” sarusagi

Another User Comments:
“YWBTJ.

If Chelly’s mother lied to her about never receiving child support… then that would be a wicked thing. Somebody needs to let Chelly have the information that her father did in fact pay child support to her mother, especially if proof is available. But you would be the jerk to claim the mother just spent the moolah on herself and didn’t spend the child support on providing room, board, and other essentials for Chelly.

The part of your story I find dubious is that your father showed you a filing cabinet filled with canceled checks and order receipts all paid to his mistress for child support. Also dubious is the claim your father’s legitimate children were deprived in order for him to pay what would be incredibly generous, not to say the excessive amount of child support considering how many other children he had.

I do not think you know the truth about child support and should proceed with caution.” lonnielee3

Another User Comments:
You YWNBTJ if you corrected her and I can’t say she’s a jerk for believing her mother. But you don’t know what she did with the moolah, so perhaps simply showing the receipts and leaving that between her and her mother would be a better course of action. It’s very hard to hear about someone you hero-worship is not actually who you thought they were. It’s not her fault that her mother lied to her but it’s going to feel like a personal attack regardless.” Mindless-Solution-32

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
rbleah 2 months ago
I would NOT show her where the paperwork is, what if it disappeared? Those are your father's papers. How about making copies and showing her those?
3 Reply
View 4 more comments

15. WIBTJ If I Start Going Out With Someone My Friend Hooked Up With?

Pexels

“6 months ago my friends and I were out at our local pub where we met this girl (we will call her T) who came over and started drinking with us. She took an obvious liking to my friend (which was pretty normal since he was far above average looking).

By the time the pub closed, the group decided to head back to our friend’s house where we would continue to drink and hang out for a bit longer.

While there, I got to chatting with T and I noticed we had a lot in common. But by the end of the night, she ended up hooking up with my friend.

Skip a couple of months later, she had been ghosted by my friend after seeing him a couple of times. But T and I had continued to hang out and text becoming pretty close friends.

This is now 6 months later and I’m closer to her than I’ve been with anyone for a long time and I really enjoy her company. Her friends have been hinting toward me and her going out for a while now although I feel unsure about it cos I wouldn’t want to be a jerk to my friend.

Side note my friend really does not like her and avoids her whenever we are all out together.

Would I be the jerk if we started going out?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. The relationship is between you and T. You can try to avoid awkward situations by informing your friend first and if he’s really uncomfortable about it, then you’d avoid having your friend and T in the same social event. But make sure T is into you and not trying to get close to your friend through you.” cy9394

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, your friend needs to grow up and get over it. Maybe be happy his friend found a girl he really likes. Also, ghosting is so petty and immature, face conflict like a man (this is to your friend).” Artist_child

1 points (1 votes)
Post


14. AITJ Calling Out My Wife For Being Trying Hard?

Pexels

“Wife is obsessed with pleasing everyone outside our home. This goes for gifts and throwing parties. I should state that we share a bank account but I do make a majority of the funds and our ‘play money’ technically comes from me.

The first example, some friends of ours just got a new puppy. They make about GREAT money. My wife thinks it’s necessary to buy them new toys and accessories for the dog.

Why!? It’s not our dog. We aren’t broke but spending $40 on stuff like this blows my mind. We aren’t broke but we definitely aren’t wealthy.

Come Christmas, EVERYONE has to get a gift. I understand our kids and niece/nephews but even cousins, aunts, uncles, and co-workers.

We throw an Easter party and she’s obsessed with making 6 different courses that are themed and decorated with the Easter theme and then complains that she has to “do everything for these parties” in my head I’m thinking ‘no one told you to do all that nonsense.’

Anyway, AITJ for telling her that she worries too much about what others portray her as?!”

Another User Comments:
“Yes, YTJ for telling her that she worries too much about what others think.

Is that even true, or does she just genuinely enjoy making other people happy (and sometimes spending to do so?) It sounds like you need to sit down and have a calm discussion about finances. Keep in mind that housework/childcare absolutely counts as contributions. You don’t mention how that is divided up for you guys.” User

Another User Comments:
“NTJ if throwing parties and getting gifts is her thing that’s totally fine.

But she shouldn’t expect you to pitch in. I’d just tell her honestly that this is not how you want to spend your time and but maybe you can come to a compromise like you agree on one or two occasions a year and on other dates if she wants to have elaborate parties or gift people then she has to do it on the cheap or maybe even make gifts herself.

My one caveat is: have you considered things you like that she feels obliged to get involved in? Just make sure there’s a balance.” User

Another User Comments:
“YTJ, mainly because your chief complaints in the judgment bot indicate that you’re annoyed at having to clean and watch your kids while she preps food for her parties, and you think she should just order pizza. Really? Super lazy, and pizza would seem like an incredibly low-effort dinner on Easter.” lihzee

Another User Comments:
“It…

depends. What she’s doing may well have effects that you don’t see or appreciate. People like your wife are the social glue that makes networks work, whether it is friends or family. Her investment in dog toys may mean that she’s got the social credit with the dog’s new masters to ask them to swoop in and help you with an emergency. Being the person who throws great parties may be the role she plays and gets back emotional support and childcare reciprocity.

Giving all those gifts may have had nice second-order effects you don’t see directly, like co-workers being more willing to cover shifts.

Or maybe she just enjoys giving gifts and is good at entertaining. It makes her happy and you dump on it.

But this is emotional labor, and most of the time women do it, and men like the positive effects for themselves, but tend to be kind of snide about it while it happens.” Sea-Mud5386

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
Squidmom 2 months ago
Does she suffer from depression? This sounds like me, and it is all-out my depression. I feel like I have to make everyone around me happy by doing stuff like parties or buying everyone something. I totally think $40 on a puppy that isn't yours is ridiculous . Maybe I'm cheap, but when your buying stuff for everyone it gets expensive.
1 Reply
View 1 more comment

13. AITJ For Telling My Daughter That She Will Always Be Gay In Every Multiverse?

Pexels

“So my daughter (18) and I (38) recently saw Anything Everywhere All at Once and it’s a multiverse movie. I’ll avoid giving major spoilers, but minor spoilers ahead I guess. There’s a point in the movie where a character says ‘you’re still hung up on the fact that this version of me is gay’ and later we see a version of a different character who’s straight in one universe and gay in another.

My daughter is a lesbian and we all love her, we all accept her – her happiness is what matters. But ever since she was little, she loved princess stuff and she loved how some beautiful prince would come and save the princess and they have a family. She absolutely hates she can’t have that because she’s not straight.

I’ve pointed out princesses can be gay, a princess can save another princess and she can still get pregnant but she says it’s not the same.

After watching the movie, she loved it but recently has been moping and claiming that she wishes she could swap places with another version of her who isn’t gay cause they could live out her princess fantasy. I don’t want my daughter hating herself for who she is – that never leads to anything good.

So, I looked up the probability of sperm being the one to make a person, and to put it like this, odds are that if even a single thing were to change in my life before my husband and I consummated, then I would have a different child.

Yes, I know things happen in the womb that affects development and even then my life choices could maybe cause a different child. So ultimately in all possible worlds where I have my daughter, she will be who she is genetically at least and since being gay is not a choice then it must be genetics. So in any world in the multiverse, my daughter would be gay.

So I told her that and she just got even angrier and more upset with me and now she’s barely talking with me. My husband told me that I was wrong to tell her that it isn’t what she wanted to hear and I was a jerk for not indulging her.”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, you thought it might make her feel better but at the moment, she was mourning over the fact she’ll never have her ‘Prince Charming’.

That’s why I despise all those old Disney movies and fairytales. Making some little girl believe she’s a princess and should just wait for her prince to save her is sick, and I’m not even a feminist! Just apologize for your insensitivity and let her know, Prince or not, you just want her to find her other half and be happy.” kristent225

Another User Comments:
“Soft YTJ. I know your heart was in the right place, but in this instance, it really seems like your daughter just wanted you to listen to her and empathize.

We all have to work through the death of an idea at some point in our lives; there’s no real way to apply logic or an actual solution to that, and trying isn’t helpful. I totally understand your parental instinct to take action to try to make it better, though.

Just explain to her that you’re sorry for not understanding that she was just expressing herself and not looking for your help in any other way, and let her know you’re around to listen if she wants to talk about it further.” MandaMaelstrom

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

It sounds like you were using a concept she knows to reach her and remind her that she is who she is. I think it was well thought out and I don’t really see how you would know she would react adversely. I also don’t agree with your husband that you should be indulging in these fantasies or telling her just what she wants to hear.

Like you said, nothing good can come of it. It sounds like she just needs to grieve this part of herself. (Not her gayness, the part where she saw herself living out a straight princess fantasy.)

Also, are princess fantasies actually healthy for anyone???” BreakfastF00ds

Another User Comments:
“Not gonna lie, this has kind of left me speechless. I fully support you trying to help your daughter accept herself, but you went about it in a pretty terrible way, in my opinion.

If being gay is genetic, how do straight couples have gay children? Or do gay couples have straight children? That’s just scientifically inaccurate. Is that the reasoning you needed to believe to accept your daughter for who she is?

Your daughter didn’t need you to tell her she’s genetically a lesbian (which again isn’t even a thing). In fact, it seems like she was just theorizing. A multiverse where she’s a princess would already have many different aspects of her and your lives.

It’s an ESPECIALLY weak and dismissive point given that in the movie you watched together the character’s orientation changed based on the different universes!

You say you are accepting of your daughter’s orientation but I’m wondering if you aren’t as accepting as you think you are. Or if maybe she has some internalized homophobia – which from personal experience can be really hard. I appreciate that you want to help your daughter avoid hating herself for who she is, but I don’t think you went about it in a good way at all.

Soft YTJ because even with the best intentions, you didn’t go about it in a good way and I don’t blame your daughter for being upset with you. I would apologize to your daughter and instead of dismissing her feelings and trying to fix her dream of having a prince sweep her off her feet (the solution of a princess saving her and still getting pregnant) acknowledge her feelings. Let her grieve this dream she’s had for so long. She has to let go of it on her own, you can’t force her to. I’m sure it’s hard seeing her struggle with accepting herself, but don’t force her. Teenagers hate being told what or how to feel.” Artistic-Variety-357

1 points (3 votes)
Post


12. AITJ For Bonding With My Niece And Nephew But Not With My Sister?

Pexels

“I (27f) have a sister (39f) who, for lack of nicer terms, can be completely overbearing. I lived with her from 17-18 (my senior year) due to problems with my stepdad. During that time, she was not my legal guardian, yet she would take all my paychecks, take my phone I paid for and text people pretending to be me, took all sorts of cards out in my name, never paying back the debt, and eventually said if I don’t go to college full time and work full time she will kick me out to the streets.

I had moved states to live with her so I had no other family or people I really knew.

I went to contact for probably 10 years and now my niece and nephew are old enough to want to ‘hang out’. They are always welcome at my house and know they can text or call me whenever. My sister has taken issue with this, because ‘I’m not trying to make this a normal family’ yet she’s never apologized for things she’s done besides saying ‘I was just trying to be a good sister.’ I understand that they are her children and she can say where they go and who they hang out with but I just want to know am I a jerk for wanting to hang out with just them without my sister?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

Your sister committed identity theft, stole from you, texted people on your phone as you, and then says she was ‘just trying to be a good sister’? WHAT?!
Yeah, NO. That’s some serious nonsense right there.

It’s awesome that you’re staying in contact with your niece and nephew, but you are absolutely not required to have any sort of relationship with their mother.” stickaforkinmeplz

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, it’s great that you’re keeping the door open to a caring and supportive relationship with your niece and nephew.

As long as you don’t speak badly of your sister in front of her kids, I think it’s great to be close to and supportive of them. All children should have supportive adults that they can rely on.

However, ultimately they’re your sister’s kids, and — at least right now while they are young — it’s her right to decide who they spend time with.” UnsharpenedSwan

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

You have to do what is best for you. You are right to exclude your sister from your life. If she is adamant that you can’t see the children without dealing with her, then you are going to have to step away from the children until she is not a factor. She’s not sorry for her treatment of you or the debt she incurred in your name. She doesn’t deserve to have you in her life.” moew4974

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
Squidmom 2 months ago
NTJ but sis sure is. You should have had her arrested for identity theft. I'm sure it screwed up your credit and you probably has to pay it back or suffer with the bad credit. Doesn't sound like she was any better than the step dad. I have a lot of nieces and nephews and they know I'm here if they need me and I'm sure yours are the same. If she used your name for stuff, she's probably done it to them too or will in the future. Make sure when she does that they present charges. MOM or not it's illegal.
0 Reply

11. AITJ For Telling My Friend I'm Going Out With Her Ex?

Pexels

“I have a friend who we’ll call Sabrina. I’m a trans boy, and we’ve been friends for over a year. So a couple of months ago, she had a partner who we’ll call Evan, and I met him and he was nice and became one of my closest friends. But for him and Sabrina, they ended up having a very messy breakup and I stayed around for both of them since he had no one and I knew Sabrina and all her friends would be really mad if they found out.

So I stayed with Evan and we slowly developed feelings for each other but when we confessed, we decided to keep our relationship a secret from Sabrina and my other ‘friends’. We’ve been together for over a month, but yesterday, I told Sabrina about my and Evan’s relationship and she was mad. I understood why she was mad but she was saying she wasn’t mad we were going out but that I was a liar.

Some past context: she’s asked me in the past when they were together if I would date him, and she also told me when their relationship was over that it was okay if I dated him.

But besides that, she got mad at me and told me not to talk to her on a personal level. Which I agreed.

Then today, she asked me how we got together and I told her and she was like ‘hm’.

Then she brought up to my friends that she doesn’t like it and I told her not to. She called me selfish and that I didn’t care about her feelings.

Some more context: She favorites one of my other friends but says they’re not friends and made me feel replaced, she made jokes about my toxic ex and gave me an apology she didn’t mean, she constantly made me feel bad and like I couldn’t share anything because she would only get mad at me

I kept apologizing to her and she wouldn’t listen, and I confronted her over the ways she’s made me feel but she just kept getting mad at me and I understand it.

My friends say I’m not in the wrong and Evan blames himself while I blame myself and told him it wasn’t his fault. So am I the jerk?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You seem pretty young and I feel like you and I have both been in this situation. Honestly, I sincerely recommend keeping Sabrina at arm’s length. I understand she’s your friend but in general, it feels like she’s a very controlling person.

Being friends with someone doesn’t give you the right to know everything about them. You have a right to have boundaries and to withhold information and if she gets mad that you do then she doesn’t respect your autonomy, in my opinion.” Moosekababs

Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here, you just a little bit. Not by going out with her ex, but by not telling her before how you remained friends. As for her, she was pretty much the jerk for reacting like crazy and being upset.” anaofarendelle

1 points (1 votes)
Post


10. AITJ For Disagreeing To Reduce My Son's Child Support Payments?

Pexels

“So my ex and I have a 12-year-old boy together. We were together for 13 years and I left him for my now-current husband. Long story short, we have been broken up for five years now and he’s still pretty bitter about it. we went through a three-year court battle for child support. He is not agreeing with the amount although, he is paying ig. Not of his own will lol.

Forcefully. But still paying.

Anyways, he is married for two years now I believe. And his wife is one of those who does not like that he has a child with someone else. I will admit his child support is pretty high. It’s well over a grand. He makes a very good living and lives very luxuriously. However, he does not want to pay because he says he has to support his wife and wife’s, children.

No, they are not his biological children. They are her children from a few different baby daddies.

She’s on disability because she is severely overweight. I know fixable..but that’s not what I’m here to ask about LOL.

Anyways, I just don’t feel it’s fair his biological child would have to miss out because she refuses to work.

Like I said they do live luxuriously. They have a six-bedroom mansion.

Four cars. Two boats. A trailer… And My ex just spent $25,000 sending one of her daughters to University. The other one goes this year.

Keep in mind before he was paying child support, he would not even buy a T-shirt for our son. He would not pay for anything. I had to pay for everything. Also, keep in mind he considers his child support as Christmas and birthday presents.

He even tells this to our son on the phone.

He also has not even seen our child in four years. Because again the wife is jealous over absolutely nothing. He will call him once every couple of months or so but that’s about it.

I do feel like a little bit of a jerk because again I understand she can’t work. But at the same time, they are not my ex’s kids.

And no she does not receive child support for her kids. That’s why she made it very hard for my ex to pay for our child.

Anyways with that, AITJ?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

You would be dishonest to your child if you took less than was awarded to you by the court.

Does your support agreement cover expenses after he is 18 and/or in college or graduate school?

If not, any excess funds you are getting from child support can be put into an account to benefit your son.

Or he can use it for a down payment on a house.” Jujulabee

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Regardless of how you broke up or if he is remarried now, he is responsible for his child’s child support. The court ordered that amount because it is reasonable based on his income. This is for your kid, not anyone else. Keep your kid first here.” LiveLovelyLala

Another User Comments:
“NTJ for the custody.

Like others calling you out for your dig at his wife, that was unnecessary and mean af. You do not know WHY she’s on disability and WHY she’s overweight. There is a myriad of reasons for her conditions, none that have to do with child support. She’s not making anything hard. It’s between the both of you. I would also think she’d have her man’s back and not yours. Unless you are in the sheets with both of them, you aren’t aware of what he says to her. He could be telling her, you are dripped head to toe in a designer fashion that you pay for using his child support money.” Omgahchill

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
Squidmom 2 months ago
Keep the money. Your son deserves it. It's his loss that he doesn't know his amazing child, but it sounds like your child is better off not seeing him.
1 Reply

9. WIBTJ If I Don't Invite My Sister To My Graduation Party?

Pexels

“I (17M) am graduating high school in less than 2 months. The only people I’d like to come to my grad ceremony are my parents (M49 & F50) and my Oma (F72). I’ve expressed to my parents that I would NOT like my sister (F23) to come to the grad ceremony or party.

My sister and I have VERY bad blood for many reasons (she’s a pathological liar, has victim-blamed me, blackmailed me into coming out to my grandma, outed me on social media, bashes me and my parents on social media when we don’t help her or give her money, etc.) and my parents know some of this.

But my parents still think I should invite her because ‘she’s family.’ They also think that because I was there for my sister’s graduation ceremony and her grad party that she should be invited to mine.

So, WIBTJ for not inviting her?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It’s your graduation and possible grad party, even though your parents feel it’s somehow theirs… maybe see if you can go to a grad party elsewhere, with a different host? where there is no chance your sister would go.

You may have to put up with her at the ceremony as she’s ‘family’… unless the tickets are limited and oops, you only got three!!” Not_really1010

Another User Comments:
“You will not be the jerk, OP. It’s your graduation and you have every right not to want your toxic sister there after what she has made you go through.

‘She’s family’ but she didn’t treat you like one.

You going to her graduation in the past doesn’t mean you’re obligated to invite her to yours. You don’t owe her anything.” otinanairebro

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
rbleah 2 months ago
What did your parents say when SHE DID NOT treat you like FAAAAAMILY? OMG I HATE people saying but it's family. You are NOT THE JERK. Your parents and sister are jerks.
1 Reply

8. AITJ For Refusing To Babysit My Sibling On My Parents' Anniversary?

Pexels

“I (23F) have been seeing my significant other (22F) for close to 9 months now. It’s great and she’s amazing, it was a slight struggle but my family grew to accept me and they get along with my SO really well.

However, my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary is on the same day as my SO’s birthday, so back in February I was thinking about what to get them as a present, so I asked both of them if they had anything planned, like a party for example, and they said that they thought about having a party but said they weren’t too bothered and decided not to have one.

This was over a month ago now and I haven’t heard them mention anything about their anniversary since aside from them saying not to get them anything, so I planned to spend that day planning to be with my SO.

But a few days ago, my Dad and I were talking and I said that I was planning to spend that weekend with my SO and he told me that they were planning to go away and needed me to babysit my sister (10F) not just for one night, but for days.

I told him that I couldn’t babysit because I already made plans. After all, they had said nothing about any plans at all. He said that it basically threw their plans out their window, and needed to speak to my mum about it.

Today, when I was on the phone with him, he brought it up again, this time saying how disappointed he was. I tried to get him to see my point of view, that they had said absolutely nothing about this trip and they weren’t even going to tell me until the week of if I hadn’t brought it up.

But he just didn’t see my side.

I’m worried that I’m just being selfish, they only get one 30th anniversary and I wouldn’t mind babysitting at all if it weren’t for my SO’s birthday and the already put in place plans.

AITJ?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. This might sound harsh but they were the ones who had another kid and so it’s up to them to figure out the babysitting issue.

Since you are much older and have your own life they should not just expect you to babysit. I’m going to guess that they are older, maybe 50+ and at that age, they thought they would be child-free but turns out they aren’t and they have to deal with it.” lordofthebuns17

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Maybe there is someone else that can babysit, like aunts, grandmothers, friends… they lost your services because they couldn’t commit to anything in time, and actually still haven’t asked you.

Their assumption means that they can find a solution, not your problem.” Not_really1010

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. They never asked you, they assumed. That’s their problem. This is on them. Hopefully, this will teach them not to assume in the future.

The whole ‘I’m so disappointed, now our plans are out the window’ bit is commonly referred to as a guilt trip. It’s a form of manipulation. That makes them the jerk twice over. Don’t fall for it. Enjoy your time with your SO, your parents can reschedule or find another babysitter.” miasabine

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
Realitycheck 2 months ago (Edited)
Oh, for Pete's sake to the whole plethora of "they shouldn't have had another kid if they didn't want to take care of it" people!

If you don't mind helping them, tell them to make arrangements for that one day/night/weekend/whatever with someone else and tell them you would be happy to help the rest of the time. She is 10. There isn't a whole lot of effort there. Surely she has a friend or cousin that she could go spend the night and a day with in a pinch.

If you don't want to commit at all, secretly laugh to yourself that they are trying to guilt you because blindsiding you is not fair and that makes you NTJ. Point out the fact that you asked multiple times if they were planning to do anything specifically to avoid this situation in the first place.
1 Reply
View 1 more comment

7. AITJ For Refusing To Give Client Her Raw Portraits?

Pexels

“I (16M) am an amateur photographer. A woman from my small town posted on the social media group asking if anyone would be willing to do her headshots for free. I know headshots are usually very expensive but I figured since I was an amateur and the pictures might not be that great then the experience would be good and volunteered.

I made it clear to her that I was not a professional but I’d do my best and she asked me over to hers to take them.

Later she messaged me to reschedule as she wasn’t feeling the best emotionally. She had recently miscarried so I was obviously understanding. This kept happening over the course of about a month and I just figured she’d never want them done. Eventually, she asked me over and I went.

The process was good, she was very friendly and I managed to get some good pictures that she really liked.

She wanted the background blurred so I downloaded an editing software since I am too broke for photoshop and blurred the background. It took me over three hours to edit all the photographs she wanted because she kept insisting the blurred lines were uneven and I’d have to start over.

Eventually, she asked for the raw files so she could send them off to be professionally edited.

This is where I may be the jerk – I said no. I have heard that you never send a client the unedited pictures and I told her that. She was upset and said something along the lines of ‘I thought they were my pictures.’ I told her that since she hadn’t paid for them they belonged to me. She said she’d get her headshots done somewhere else because she’d ‘really wanted to own her own picture.’ AITJ?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

She took advantage of your kind offer. If she doesn’t like them she can pay for someone else to take them. You also legally own the copyrights. Don’t let her steamroll you.” LiveLovelyLala

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. She just wanted to pay less (not pay for the headshots but pay someone to professionally edit them). If she wanted them edited professionally, she should have gone to a professional from the beginning and paid. Also, if she wanted the raws, she could have just told you not to edit them.” otinanairebro

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If she had paid you for the pictures then absolutely send her the unedited ones but until she pays you, stick to your guns.” PatsFan407

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
mijo 2 months ago
NTJ, she got what she paid for!
1 Reply
View 1 more comment

6. AITJ For Wearing Skirt At Work?

Pexels

“I (25F) go twice a week to a foster home to help the kids with their homework. The educators who work there have a lot to do and don’t always have time to help all the kids with their homework, that’s why they decided to hire me (through a charity association). I was asked to do the homework in the kids’ bedrooms because there isn’t any calm room I can use to work with them.

So today was really sunny. I was wearing a skirt which I thought was decent (I really pay attention not to wear ‘revealing’ clothes there, so no cleavage or short skirt): on the front, it’s knee-length (but since I’m a big woman, it covers about 2/3 of my thighs on my backside). I was also wearing black tights. I’ve already worn that skirt several times and nobody said anything about that.

As usual, after a kid asked for my help, I went into her bedroom… Which was upstairs. I guess you can see where this is going. 2 minutes after we got started, an educator wanted to speak to me privately. She spoke with a cold tone and told me that, as I climbed the stairs, my skirt moved so my things had been visible. She said I wasn’t allowed to wear a skirt again and that I should be careful and wear decent clothes next time because they were trying to teach the kids that it’s important to wear decent clothes.

I didn’t argue with her because I just wanted to go back to helping the girl with her homework. But shortly after that, all the kids were asked to sit at the table so the educators could have a conversation with them. I stayed upstairs until the girl I was helping came back. But I overheard that conversation and they were talking about me (and my clothes).

I know the educators were teaching the kids about respect there (and that’s a good thing of course!), but I felt really uncomfortable that they decided to talk about that issue to all the kids, while only one or two of them actually were actually able to see under my skirt when I climbed the stairs (for example, the girl I was doing homework with walked in front of me as we climbed the stairs, so there was no way she saw under my skirt).

So now I feel really uncomfortable about going back there. I feel like I should be allowed to keep wearing knee-length skirts at work (especially since the kids sometimes wear their pajamas or bathrobes while I’m helping them with their homework). Them seeing under my skirt was an accident and if stairs hadn’t been involved, my clothes would have been considered decent.

AITJ for wearing a skirt today, and WIBTJ if I do it again?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ at all, but as someone who also works with kids and wears skirts to work, you have to be aware of your wardrobe at all times, sis.

It just takes one kid going home and casually mentioning ‘I saw Ms. ___’s (whatever) today,’ for there to be an entire administrative problem. They 100% do not want that noise and are therefore very aggressive in punishing clothing malfunctions.

Pro tip: Switch to opaque leggings, not tights. There have been a handful of times a stray breeze on the playground has whipped up my skirt and I had to hastily shovel it down and I was so thankful to be wearing leggings.

The same thing with an accidental ‘walk out of the bathroom with the skirt tucked into the top of your tights’ shtick, or it getting caught on the top of a little chair as you pass it by, or you accidentally stepping on the hem of it when you stand up from being criss-cross on the floor. All of those have happened to me (I like the flowy skirts) and on the rare occasion it caught some eyes and giggles, it didn’t matter because my leggings prevented an actual wardrobe malfunction from happening.

Ignore the gossip. As long as it doesn’t lead to an actual write-up, you’re good. Just make some adjustments if you think it’s going to be a problem again in the future.” one_1f_by_land

Another User Comments:
“NTJ – find new employment. It seems like they blew this wildly out of proportion. Why did they need to sit the kids down to discuss accidentally seeing a woman’s thighs through her black tights? The only reason they would have needed to do that is to explain to the kids that it was an accident and they should be kind and not mention it again.

But I get the sense that the conversation just instilled a lot of body shaming completely centered on the female form.

Also, they needed to have a private discussion with you where they informed you that your skirt didn’t fit appropriately for the situation. Not a discussion where they banned skirts for you, period. What? Everything about this situation is upsetting to me.” Ok-Succotash7483

Another User Comments:
“NTJ and you’re going to get a lot of ‘it’s your right to wear whatever you want’ answers but- here’s the thing, you work with kids.

In a foster home setting. The educators/administrators have to be very careful of anything that could even be considered inappropriate. If the kids can see under your skirt, there’s a chance someone could interpret it as inappropriate or you’re going to start getting picked on/teased by the kids. Especially if you’re going into their rooms alone to help with homework. (What the kids wear makes no difference, you’re in a teaching position).

Switch to solid leggings (not tights) and do a check in the morning that if you bend/crouch/twist that nothing is showing.” Forward-Beyond4739

1 points (1 votes)
Post


5. AITJ For Not Inviting My Sibling To My Daughter's Birthday?

Pexels

“My (35F) daughter (only child) will be turning 6 in a few months. Her birthday party last year was the first one that had classmates in addition to family friends, and apparently, a lot of the parents thought that it was standard practice to bring all of their kids to the party, instead of just one that was invited. Some families brought 3 or 4 siblings last year! Apparently, this is a common thing now? It wasn’t when I was growing up…

It wasn’t as big of a deal last year as the party was at our house, but this year we plan on doing something different where we will need to pay-per-kid.

WIBTJ if I specified that the invite is for the child only and that siblings are not invited? I didn’t specify anything last year and had a lot of parents make me feel guilty by saying that they had no one else to watch their other children…

I don’t think that should be my problem…

Edit 1: I have noticed this dynamic at other parties as well… that a whole family’s children are invited. That’s fine if they want to do that, but I feel like it’s becoming the unspoken norm and I’m not ok with that.

Edit 2: I may invite siblings of family friends (not classmates), however, I don’t think this should be a ‘blanket rule’ where little Darth Vader’s brother came so Kylo Ren’s brother should be able to come too.

Most of these classmates I haven’t even met myself for more than a few minutes. I guess if people are offended by that, it still shouldn’t be my problem…”

Another User Comments:
“The trend of dumping siblings on parties they weren’t invited to is def some online mom group bs because it is pretty much only started in the last 10 years give or take. And yes parents not being able to find someone to watch their other kids isn’t your problem.

NTJ for specifying that only the kid on the invite is invited. But also feel free to throw out that this is a pay-per-head situation. Some people mentioned just telling the parents if they want their other kids along to tell them to cover them. If you were dealing with reasonable adults across the board this wouldn’t be an issue, however, if you go through the route you need to be prepared for one or more crappy parents trying to manipulate you into paying, and yes this is a thing.

Meaning if you stick with this venue make it clear when you pay you to let them know that this is an exact headcount and that no one else is to be added by anyone but you. And be prepared to have to tell someone to shut up and leave.

Welcome to the world of selfish parents.

Oh and in the future for at-home parties, you can absolutely limit the number of kids at your home due to food and drinks, etc.” PommeDeSang

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, I think at home parties it’s fine to invite siblings – if that’s what you want to do – but as far as something you’re paying for actively, I don’t think it’s out of line to request that only the invited child attends.

Their childcare woes are not your concern and obviously if you’re closer to one family and know their kids you’re going to invite them, that doesn’t mean you should be expected to invite kids you’ve never met and that your kid likely doesn’t even know or care to have at their party.” Character-War9746

Another User Comments:
“YWNBTJ – but the reality is, people who are that entitled/clueless to do it in the first place, won’t understand or not be offended if you do.

My suggestion, have smaller parties where you allow your child to invite only 3 friends (and if she can do it outside of school even better). Then host events where you can really control the numbers. Mani-Pedi, Paint your own ceramics, a day at a water park or places like Dave and Busters. Literally, events where you buy the tickets upfront and you hand them out to JUST the child on the invitation.

If mom and dad want to be rude and bring the extras along, then they can… on their own dime.” VonShtupp

1 points (1 votes)
Post


4. AITJ For Not Approving My Wife's Grocery-Buying Habits?

Pexels

“My wife is the cook of the family and does all of the grocery shopping. She enjoys cooking, I don’t, so this arrangement works. She however has a terrible habit of buying too much food to the point of $100s of dollars of waste from expired goods to rotten fruit. I’ve tried expressing my frustration at the waste and clutter but I’ve gotten nowhere. I once even cleaned and reorganized the cupboards which caused a week-long argument.

AITJ in calling out her issue or should I just be grateful she takes care of our family’s food needs. This is causing extreme stress in our relationship but she does not seem to think anything is wrong.”

Another User Comments:
“YTJ so right now, what she sees is you criticizing, but not doing anything to help.

Maybe your challenge/effort can be that once a week, you round up all the stuff that’s on its last legs and figure out a meal to make it as a deck clearer?

Maybe you can do some research and see what’s being wasted most frequently (bananas? Milk spoiling in the carton? Fruit the kids SHOULD want for snacks but don’t get around to eating?) and figure out how to extend its life or save it–banana muffins? freezing milk in cubes to use in easy gravy, etc.

It’s work, but so is exhaustively planning out meals so there isn’t a lot of waste. Throw some weight into working the salvage operation.” Sea-Mud5386

Another User Comments:
“I’m saying NTJ because you are totally unaware of what it costs and don’t know better. I am a stay-at-home mom and for 8 years I did all the grocery shopping and cooking. My husband complained about the grocery bill every week, regardless of the fact I made every meal including sending him to work with a generous size lunch bag for his 12-hour tours and a plate for him when he came home on his dinner breaks.

He retired 2 years ago and went grocery shopping as one of the things he took off my plate. I complained about how much he spent and after a few times he was like ‘OK I get it, I didn’t think these things were really this expensive.’ So maybe go to the store, and you’ll see why she spends what she does. I get it about the waste, that’s something, of course, I’d work on because I hate wasting food, but you really have no idea how much things cost these days if you want to feed your family good, healthy meals.” Odd-Jackfruit-2375

Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here.

It’s hard to watch good food go to waste, and I’m sure it’s not helping your family budget. Instead of criticizing your wife, though, sit down and decide on a food budget together that’s based on some actual research.

Also – a lot of people who overbuy food do so because of past food insecurity. If this is something your wife experienced, she may need counseling, or to purchase extra food that’s at least shelf-stable so it doesn’t go to waste.” HomelyHobbit

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

Wasting food is a no-go. I know it can be hard because sometimes I also take a few things I don’t really need in the store but still. If it’s costing you hundreds of dollars it’s not ok. What helps is making a little list of what you actually need beforehand. And if you then buy something more ok but it won’t be as dramatic probably. See what you need and how much you can eat and write it down.” Pixiespekje

1 points (1 votes)
Post


3. AITJ For Being Upset At My Friend For Ruining My Birthday Trip?

Pexels

“I have been friends with this girl, Mia, since we were 8 & 10 years old. I’m 2 years older, and I recently moved/bought a house in our new state/have a husband, Tim,  and have just had my 2nd child.

My other best friend, Jamie, planned to get a plane ticket to surprise me for my birthday since we used to hang out ALL THE TIME when we lived close, now we’re 18 hours away by car, and I miss her every day.

Mia, I’ve known since we were kids, she and her husband and Jamie are renting a place together (this is important because now Mia is being a jerk to Jamie now that they’re back home).

I, Jamie, and Mia made a spreadsheet of the things we want to do while they were in town and everyone was excited. The trip was initially supposed to be a surprise for me but I figured it out and excitedly told Mia ‘omg can you believe she’s gonna surprise me?’ Because we tell each other everything.

So she ended up joining on to fly in with Jamie, and see me. The day they get into town, Mia is dismissive and curt the entire drive to get food. Seems disinterested and negatively comments on my and Jamie’s weight in one statement. I push it off as her being grumpy from the early flight.

This continues the whole trip until we’re only doing what Mia wants to do, and I ended up crying in the back of an antique shop on my bday and feel like I missed out on doing anything I wanted to do, and Mia refused to talk about it the whole trip.

I spent more than I wanted to do the things Mia wanted to do and now she’s being rude to Jamie in their shared home and hasn’t spoken to me since the trip. I asked her today what happened and she now ‘doesn’t wanna talk about it’ and said nobody cared when she was here when literally we all asked if she was okay multiple times.

Am I the jerk for being upset she made the whole trip about her and ruined my bday?

Update: Just got a text that Mia is now attempting to kick Jamie out of their shared living space (the one my family member owns, that I made sure they got to rent when I left because it’s a lot cheaper than lots of local housing rent). Refused to give a reason, Mia won’t tell me or Jamie what happened; why she’s upset/doing these things.

I’ll admit I texted my family member to let them know about Mia’s behavior during my bday, and how she is now trying to kick Jamie out even though the property isn’t hers, to begin with, and they’re both renters. I also texted Mia asking if she’ll at least give a reason for why she’s doing all of this.

If there was an argument or something I might understand discussing possibly more boundaries in the living space or MAYBE Mia could offer to leave if she hated it there, but she literally was completely fine up until the moment she got off the plane for my bday, and she has been awful to me and Jamie since then, and I honestly cannot understand why any of this is happening, I wish she’d just tell us even a stupid reason is better than no reason at all.”

Another User Comments:
“Mia was (IS) butthurt that you & Jamie planned a full bday weekend without her.

That’s why she had to ‘join Jamie’ to fly in with her. Then, since she wasn’t even a consideration when you and Jamie & Tim planned the weekend? She had to both destroy your joy & make it about her.

Because. You. Left. Her. Out.

And she’s not grown up enough to say that her feelings are hurt and she would have wanted to be a part of the weekend from the get-go.

She’s especially angry at Jamie because they live together and Jamie never even mentioned the weekend. Mia had to find out about it from YOU.

NTJ… but understand that her hurt & anger at Jamie (in particular) just happened to play out on your bday weekend and wasn’t really about you. Sorry, your friend isn’t a better friend to you.” MannyMoSTL

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, just because you were friends since you were children doesn’t mean anything if she is treating you awfully because you have other friends (she sounds jealous of Jamie) I say drop her, life is too short to have awful people in your life.” Newfie1396

Another User Comments:
“When someone goes into sulking mode and won’t say why they are the only jerks. Maybe something happened on the way, maybe she has personal issues, maybe she’s mad you figured out the surprise, maybe she wanted it to just be you 2 and not the third girl. Obviously, you did nothing wrong. NTJ. I’m sorry your birthday was spoiled. It seems her bigger issue is with the roomie, not with you.” Unit-Healthy

1 points (1 votes)
Post

User Image
rbleah 2 months ago
Drop Mia as a friend and tell your relative that if anybody leaves the rental it should be Mia. Keep your relationship with Jamie. Go no contact with Mia. End of discussion
0 Reply

2. WIBTJ If I Tell My Teacher What's My Opinion Of Her?

Pexels

“I am a female high school student. It is important to note that I don’t live in the US so there might be things that are different.

So, in middle school I had an English teacher, let’s call her Mary. Mary is a single mom in her middle 30s. She got married, had a kid, and then got divorced, but that’s beside the point. In middle school, she noticed that I was pretty good at English so she offered to tutor me so I can ‘work on my talent’.

I have been going to her classes for years, and we always have fights. I mean not like big fights but disagreements because her character is royally annoying me. Despite the fact that she knows a lot in theory, she really doesn’t know how to talk to people, especially students. She is the most toxic adult I’ve ever seen. But wait, that’s not all.

So I have 3 cousins, let’s call them Denise, Amy, and Kat who also go to her tutoring sessions.

Denise, who is a couple of years older than me, and Kat who is a bit younger than me, don’t generally have problems with her lessons, although Mary’s child is really annoying all the time, that’s a different story. Amy, however, who is just one grade above me, always gets disturbed by Mary’s comments. For example, Mary would say things like: ‘Oh! I bet you want to know English like Maddie! Don’t worry, she’s only like that because I taught her! HAHAHAHA’ (she has the most annoying laugh).

Also, right from the first lesson, Mary already made her feel like trash, and ‘comforted’ her by saying ‘Don’t worry, if you’re gonna cry after the first lesson with me, you’ll not be the first’. I can’t stand her. I can’t watch how she is destroying the relationship with my best friend by being ‘brutally honest’. Also, it’s important to say that my mom is kind of friends with her, even though she doesn’t like Mary that much, so I can’t just go and tell her ‘I hate your guts.’ WIBTJ if I told her what I really think about her?”

Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here.

I get where you’re coming from, but even in the US, there are limits to how socially acceptable it is for a student to confront a teacher. Mary’s behavior is petty and stupid, but calling her on it would be considered disrespectful. The appropriate thing would be to lodge a formal complaint with her supervisor IF she were your actual day-to-day teacher.

It sounds instead that she’s just a tutor, which means the only thing you can do is fire her.

If your mom wants to maintain a good relationship with her, then you’ll have to find a diplomatic way to do it. Regardless, you are not obligated to pay to suffer her and feed her ego.” midnight_thorns

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

Say it without put-downs or cursing, just say how she’s treating students, and her remarks, are incredibly rude and uncalled for. She is a teacher for Pete’s sake, she should know better than to treat you’ll like that. Also, I would just stop going to her.” midnight_thorns

0 points (0 votes)
Post


1. AITJ For Being Mad At My Best Friend?

Pexels

“I only (and hopefully) have one daughter who turned one just yesterday but, my husband’s family decided they wanted to throw her her very first birthday the day before her actual 1st birthday anyway. I had asked my friend and her fiancé if they wanted to come (even though I knew they would decline because it’s not the first time they decline us asking them to hang out or whatever).

Pls keep in mind she’s also my daughter’s godmother (though not officially). They said they couldn’t because it would be Easter (I didn’t know or think about it being a holiday but still) and they would be with family. I had said ‘it’s cool I figured’ (pure instinct cause I was still a bit hurt even though I knew the answer).

Come Sunday, I later get a text asking what my husband and I were doing that day and I got bothered by it and said ‘I told you a week ago we were throwing the baby a party’ while she said, ‘Oops nevermind, sorry I forgot I told my fiancé you guys might actually be doing something today.’ I got bothered because if they wanted to hang out, it means they weren’t as busy as they said they would be so it being Snapchat I don’t fully remember what I said but I sent her a picture of the baby and said ‘Yea’.

Later she asked me if I was mad and I was but I said ‘no it’s Easter everyone’s got stuff to do’ then she asked if it was fun and I told her ‘it’s my daughter’s first birthday ofc it was fun.’

After that, I’m sure she knew I was mad and all she could say was okay then the next day was my daughter’s birthday day.

She and I didn’t say much like usual cause Snapchat but I could tell she was still bothered cause she would send black screens or blurry pics so I did the same thing only sending her pics of my daughter. Not once did she say happy birthday. Come today she’s still bothered posting ‘I’m tired of people giving me bad attitudes for no reason, who get whatever crawled up your butt and take it out’ but by this point, I was already over it and just laughed.

My story response was me saying ‘oh shoot we’re playing Uno now?’ With a picture of my hand holding a deck of three reverse cards, a block card, and two +2 cards. But I just wanna know am I the jerk?”

Another User Comments:
“Can I be honest? You guys kinda sound like teenagers. I get why you were upset with her not wanting to be with your family, especially at the birthday party.

But you can’t force anyone to care sometimes you know? It sucks, but maybe parenthood isn’t really their thing and they just want to separate it with their friends(?). But it seems like when she asked you and your husband if both of you were available she just forgot that it was your daughter’s first birthday party.

But I also think she just didn’t care enough to say happy birthday the day later.

Which was kinda a jerk move, in my opinion, I think it’s the least she could do when she didn’t show up. I mean it’s your best friend’s first child, why wouldn’t you at least congratulate me? But again, you can’t force anyone to care. If it bothers you, she doesn’t say/do anything when it comes to your child, then you can decide if it is best to quit being friends or maybe talk to her about your feelings.

You guys should be able to tell each other when one of you guys is upset with one another.” idontknowanyusrrname

Another User Comments:
“I’m not going to lie, you all sound very young. I’m going to go with ‘everyone sucks here.’ It sounds like you both need some lessons in basic communication, which likely would have solved this before it became a problem.” DCBronzeAge

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

But this person isn’t your friend, has no desire to be Godmother to your daughter and you all need to grow up a bit.” Feisty_Brunette

0 points (2 votes)
Post

User Image
StumpyOne 2 months ago (Edited)
It is so sad when 12 year olds have babies. Middle school UNO drama. Every single bit of your responses to her, and hers to you, show that you're both acting like immature brats.
0 Reply
View 1 more comment

They just want to make sure if they're actually the jerks from other people's perspectives. You be the judge now about who you think the jerk is! Upvote, downvote, and comment on your favorite stories by signing up for a Metaspoon account. Click Log In at the top right corner of this page to get started. (Note: Some stories have been shortened and modified for our audiences)