People Hope To Move On From Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I need another opinion here. This feels ridiculous, but maybe I'm not thinking clearly.

I (32m) am engaged to my fiance (33m) and I couldn't be happier.

He's the most amazing and warm man I've ever known. Our wedding is at the end of the year in October. We're both big Halloween dorks so we decided for our reception we'd do a costume party. All our guests are encouraged to bring a costume to change into for the reception. The majority of our guests think it's a great idea and are already planning their costumes. The trouble is with my soon-to-be SIL (27f) I'll call May here. May is, for lack of a better term, a stick in the mud. She's very serious about everything, all the time. May thinks that having a costume party for our wedding reception is idiotic and childish. My MIL is on her side, insisting that we should reconsider and be more traditional. FIL on the other hand is with us, agreeing we should be able to enjoy our wedding however we want. My fiance is just so fed up with his mom and sister. May especially has been really obnoxious about it. Now here's where I might be the jerk.

Last week we were at an event for my fiance's family. I think it was a cousin's birthday, but I don't remember.

The topic of our wedding came up and several family members excitedly started saying what costumes they were picking for the reception. This seemed to annoy May. When my fiance mentioned the costumes we were going to wear, May snapped. She stood up and got in her brother's face. She called him a child and how stupid he was for wanting to do this. That she couldn't believe he would marry someone that encouraged this ridiculous behavior. I got a little heated listening to her berate my fiance and screamed at her to shut up. She rounded on me and told me she wished my fiance had never met me so he could be with someone normal. I told May if anyone was acting like a child right now it was her throwing a tantrum over someone else's wedding that she wasn't contributing to or helping with in any way. She had absolutely no right to call me and my fiance names just because she's physically incapable of enjoying anything. And that if she's so against our reception idea then she might as well not even come to the wedding because I don't want her whining like a toddler to ruin our night. She called me a jerk and left. The party ended pretty quickly after.

My fiance kissed me like a madman when we got home, thanking me for putting his sister in her place because he hates fighting. My MIL and May have been blowing up both our phones since then saying I needed to apologize to May for embarrassing her.

When I told them I'll apologize when she does, they got even more upset. His family is split on the matter. Did I really go too far insulting her back? AITJ? I don't think I'm in the wrong but maybe it's because I'm still mad about the whole situation."

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. May embarrassed herself. It's your wedding - if you want everyone to wear robes and head out to the forest for a pagan wedding, then that is what your wedding will be. If the invitees don't like it, they are free to decline the invitation.

I don't even understand this wedding nonsense - it is after all, a party to celebrate the legal proceedings which only takes a few minutes. So why not a costume party?" alien_overlord_1001

Another User Comments:

"The things people get into a twist about. NTJ.

Don't like the idea? Don't come. When SIL gets married (dunno if she is or not) she can make it as dry and dusty and boring an affair as she wants. Being honest, a costume-themed wedding is not my bag. But... it ain't my wedding. I'm sure I'd manage somehow and without having a conniption. You guys do you and best wishes, mazel tov and all that (btw, I'm assuming it's an open bar with a signature drink or 3, right? Cause if there isn't, well... I'm not coming to your wedding and that's final)." SoImaRedditUserNow

Another User Comments:

"Probably not the most elegant way of doing so, but you still did the right thing. It's your and your fiancé's wedding. If you're down for a costume party for a reception, go for it! My oldest brother and his wife had everyone in costume even for the wedding itself (similar situation: wedding was in October and they both LOVE Halloween).

Everyone enjoyed themselves and it was a wonderful ceremony and reception. NTJ. If your SIL thinks this is ridiculous, then she shouldn't go to the wedding at all. Ditto for MIL." TheDestroyer229