People Anticipate Our Rationale For Their "Am I The Jerk?" Story

"I have a buddy who is part of my friend group who smokes a lot. Whenever he comes over to my house, he lights up. I have to constantly chase him outside.

I smoke too; I just don't do it in my house. I smoke outside.

Anyway, a few of us were over at his place for the Superbowl, and I lit up on his balcony. I figured if he was comfortable smoking in my house, he must smoke at his place.

I did not want to do it indoors though.

He comes running out and tells me to put it out. It's a smoke-free building. Crap.

I guess I wasn't quick enough. He texted me today, and he has been evicted, and he lost his security deposit.

I feel like a jerk. He is mad. Some of our friends are mad at me. But a few of them pointed out that I literally have had to throw him outside at my house because he kept smoking inside.

He wants me to put in his security deposit, so he can get a new place.

I might give him something because I feel crappy about the situation. I did not mean to cause him problems. I just thought he was so used to smoking at his place, that is why he always forgot at my house."

Another User Comments:

"NTJ because you made a reasonable assumption based on his own behavior.

Because of this, and because you all smoke, he should have made it clear to anyone coming to his place what the rules were, if there were going to be such dire consequences. You might want to help out with the deposit as technically you did get him evicted, but you should also gently point out why you assumed what you did because he always smokes indoors at yours." Holiday_Cat_7284

Another User Comments:

"ESH, you should have asked. However, he more so than you, because he should ask before lighting up in your place. And he dang sure shouldn't have done it after the first time. Also, I don't think you owe him a penny.

Only because I have doubts that he's being evicted purely for -one- smoking infraction. On a balcony. He has likely had other infractions himself, leading up to his eviction. So, in theory, if he hadn't had those infractions, yours would not have been the straw to break the camel's back." ashleighbuck

Another User Comments:

"I'm gonna go with ESH, but the one violation and eviction seems fishy to me. He's the jerk because he randomly lights up at your place. I smoke a ton too, but smoking isn't allowed in my house, except in my bathroom in the basement (fan).

And, well, no one knows about my basement bathroom really, so they'd need permission to smoke indoors like a -friend- would. Op made an understandable mistake as if I couldn't smoke in my home, I'd be salty as heck about it. And my friends would know by my whining. But also it's common knowledge today, in the USA at least, apartments are mostly smoke-free and pet-free even for similar reasons. Still, 1 violation and kicked?" Nebula9545

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. First, I can't imagine being evicted for one person smoking on a balcony. For the landlord to evict, they have to go through a legal process, wait on the back and forth, and then rent the apartment again.

That all costs time and money, so no landlord is doing that to an otherwise good tenant. Second, he created a standard where you thought he was good with smoking, since he did it IN your home, multiple times, even when you asked him not to, repeatedly. I would totally assume if a friend thought it was okay to smoke inside my home, that I could smoke on their balcony. It's not about you just not asking, but the fact that he created an impression of himself that made you think smoking at his place was okay. And if he lived in a building that was super strict, and he invited people over that he knows smoke, then he should have told people." mfruitfly

Another User Comments:

"Your friend is lying. This is NOT how evictions work. Most likely he had multiple strikes from smoking himself and was already getting evicted. Demand to see the paperwork AND meet with the property manager to verify his story.

But trust me, as a former property manager of a smoke-free building. He is lying." TiredAndTiredOfIt