People Want To Recall On Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories

"My partner and I have been together for 2 years. Recently my beloved Honda Accord died after 320k miles and I had to immediately get another car as public transport isn’t an option.

My partner began showing me BMWs and we went to see a 2017 BMW 3 series. It was 26k which was wild to me as I can get a new car for that price. I ended up with a Toyota Corolla cross for 14k and he called me boring for it. I don’t care at all about cars so I don’t mind a boring car.

On the other side, he keeps complaining that women spend too much on clothes. I have the same amount of clothes as him but he doesn’t seem to realize it and thinks I have far more clothes and spend way more than him on clothes.

Because each of my pieces costs a lot more I buy a lot less of them. But they last for 5-10 years. Like I have 6 cashmere sweaters that are over $200 each but I buy 1 a year.

I bought another one this year on 60% off and he complained that I spend way too much on these sweaters and I challenged him to figure out how much he spends on clothes vs me.

We both went through our credit cards. He spent almost double what I did on clothes because he bought 14 pieces and I bought 3 this year. Because my stuff is really nice they just last forever. For example every 3 months he needs a new pair of jeans because his rips. I have had the same pair for over a decade. Mine cost over $100 and his was $30. He needs winter boots every year and it’s usually leaking water by spring. My boots are 5 years old and still fine but his is $50 and mine are $200. He got mad and said each of my clothes was still way more expensive and I spent way too much per piece. I had spent a long time trying to make the point to him that better stuff is worth the price and pointed out he spends a lot on his car. He has an Audi A4 and it’s like $900 a month while any car would do so why is he wasting money on cars but when I buy a sweater that lasts for years it’s a waste of money? Because even he admits in terms of mileage, a Toyota probably will do more miles over its life than his Audi. He snapped back that he was not ok with a boring car and ignored me for 2 days.

I feel like he’s ok with spending way too much on a car because it’s a guy thing but since clothes are girly it’s a waste.

But it made him mad when he saw I actually spent less on the 'girly' things than him."

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. It sounds like he doesn't wanna give up his beliefs of 'Girls Drool!' You're buying things for the longer term. You spend more, but buy less and buy the thing less frequently.

That's being smart. You care about quality. His mentality sounds like some 'I hate my wife/girls only care about shopping' boomer humor type of crap.

Also, are you really happy with a man who can't deal with being wrong and throwing a silent tantrum about it?

If he acts like this about clothes and a car, how will he be if/when you have your first kid? He will want to get the most expensive stroller, but will probably expect one onesie to last until the kid is 3?" GottaKnowYourCKN

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. To be honest, it seems like you're more well-off than him and he's trying to ease you into spending less on yourself, so you can spend more on things he likes and can enjoy. Who leases an Audi for $900 a month? That's poor people trying to look rich behavior.

Are you sure you didn't accidentally snag a broke boy, who is flexing fake wealth to keep you?" HeadTripDrama