People Feel Regretful About Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories

"Over a year ago, my father brought over a cousin, Diana from Haiti. She had been living there for about 20 years, unbeknownst to us, and my father decided to bring her over to attend school since the political and economic state of the country was in shambles.

From the very beginning of her arrival, she has caused mental and physical stress to the other residents (other than my father) of the household for a plethora of reasons.

We live in a starter home that is not very big, it only has 3 rooms. One for me, Giselle, my sister, and one for my parents.

With her arrival, Giselle was forcefully removed from her room in order to house Diana, and to this day Giselle sleeps on an air mattress in the living room.

I voiced my displeasure with this to my parents, which fell on deaf ears, saying that it's Giselle's responsibility to give said room up as it will better socialize her.

I call nonsense, I'm made to be the bad guy. Awesome.

Over time, she began to break a lot of the rules that Giselle and I would be thoroughly reprimanded for when we were younger and would be reprimanded for now if we started back up.

Leaving mountains of dirty dishes (she cooks a lot), snack wrappers, and trash all over the floors, turning the bathroom into a complete mess and not cleaning after herself, etc. She even put a giant hole in the wall of Giselle's former room, and to this day we have 0 clue why she did this.

Again I voiced my displeasure, and again, I'm made out to be the bad guy.

Within this, you'd begin to think that it's supposed to be my parents I should be directing my anger to, which I am, but Diana understands this dynamic and uses it to her advantage.

My mother eventually got tired of hearing my nagging, and gave her verbal warnings on multiple occasions about her behavior, to which she acknowledged, and then doubled down on her antics.

Diana herself is plus-sized and has a high tendency to eat other people's food without asking or prompting others.

When I complained about this, I was met with 'Oh well when you were 15 years old, you used to empty the fridge!' I'm 23. I stopped doing that the instant they began to complain about it to me.

A couple of weeks ago, I found out that she was using one of my favorite t-shirts as a wet rag to wipe the floor after she finished showering.

I voiced my displeasure, and again I was ignored.

So in turn, I began to ignore her entirely. Diana asks for a ride somewhere. I say no. She asks for a favor. I say no. I don't acknowledge her presence in the household. I purposefully treat her as if she is a ghost. And then my parents tell me 'Mac, you're such a jerk.'

As someone who has to pay monthly to live in said household, I'd appreciate some normalcy.

So with all this in mind, do you agree with them?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. She sounds super disrespectful. Your parents are jerks for doing that to you guys and then blaming you for being upset about what is being done to you guys.

Also, why would you give her rides? Why would you do favors for her? Tell you what, next time she asks for a ride, ask her to do the dishes first, pick up the trash, or wash your shirt she used as a floor mat.

Petty, maybe. Mean, not really because those are basic family chores and her own messes.

Maybe she can make the connection between the two when you associate them together, and it can help to show her why the answer will always be NO.

For the record, I get there can be a culture shock, but guest manners and even family chores and respect are universal - this does not sound like culture shock.

It sounds like her trying to assert her dominance, and getting it. I hope you can afford to move out and your sister can go too.

Also, maybe buy your own bowls, cups, and silverware and see how long the rest of the family can put up with the dirty dishes.

If they say anything, you can prove none of them are yours. This is something I actually personally did as a teenager to remove myself from arguments over dishes." More-Diet3566

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. When someone pays rent, they pay for more than just the space - they pay for acceptable conditions within the space they occupy & use.

 Any improper use/violation of your personal property within the spaces you occupy & use is unacceptable. If your personal property is being consumed/improperly used/violated by someone else, that is an obvious violation of the safe space that your rent should be affording you. She’s a disrespectful nasty jerk to be sure. But your parents are even bigger jerks for placing her above their actual children - you & your sister.

As your parents, their first priority should be you & your sister as their actual children. As your landlords, their second priority should be you as their paying tenant.

If they want to make her their third priority, that’s their stupidity. They’re jerks for making her their first priority. They’re jerks for making her their second priority. They’re jerks for making her their third priority. They’re jerks for placing no priority on you & your sister. How pitiful.

Just a thought - are you sure she’s a cousin? She seems WAY more entitled than a simple cousin would be while living in someone else’s home. She had been living in another country for 20 years & y’all never knew until your dad just brought her home & moved her in.

And not only did he move her in - he basically evicted his youngest minor child from her bedroom so that this 'cousin' could have her own private bedroom to herself rather than sharing your sister’s space with her. That doesn’t scream 'cousin' to me. That screams 'daddy’s side-piece' that he did everything to have at his disposal.  " MyHairs0nFire2023