People Want To Put Our Judgment To The Test With Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
34. AITJ For Standing Up Against My Awful Dad?
“My dad is a macho man. He was in the military for 20 years, sexist, and thinks that any man who isn’t 250 lbs of pure muscle is disabled. I’ve gone my whole life being told how to be a man, and if I don’t do this or that, I’m going to fail.
Well, after years of pressure, I was talked into joining the military when I graduated.
I recently got engaged, and during our engagement party, my dad got wasted and said that I needed to be the breadwinner because it’s every woman’s dream to be a stay-at-home mom and have kids.
My fiancé said that she would actually enjoy going to college and that she thinks that she and I should work together for a stable income, and I jumped in and started trying to get the attention off her so that when my dad inevitably disagreed, the heat would be on me.
My dad said that there was no reason she should want to get an education because if I was doing my job as a man, she wouldn’t want anything. I told him it’s not his place to tell my fiancé what she should do with her life or body, and he just pointed at me and said ‘Any man who gets married and doesn’t take charge of the household is a cuck, and any woman who thinks it’s her job to do anything more than clean the house has a brain deficiency.’ I immediately stood up and said to my fiancé, ‘You wanna go home?’ and she just said ‘Yep.’
My dad said, ‘Okay, name one relationship that’s still going where both partners work equally, or where the wife works more than the husband.’ I immediately started naming off family friends, and he started to backpedal. I named off celebrity couples, and he said they’re all fake, then, I named off the popular podcaster I can’t name here (you know who I’m talking about), how his wife works full time at a government college, and how he makes videos, but they still have a stable income, a child, and as far as I know, a good relationship.
He got upset and said that all influencers are fake, and I said he’s jealous because he’s devoted 20 years to the Marines and still has a potbelly and a drinking problem, and that he wishes he could stay home and make videos people like, rather than go on political rants every time people try to have a conversation with him.
I then just took my fiancé home, ignored his attempts to start more nonsense, and that was that. I apologized, but she said she had a great night, and she prefers my cooking over dealing with her mom any day. Well, my dad’s been quiet, I can tell I’ve started some drama, and whenever I bring up job stuff he says ‘Why don’t you have your husband pay you’ and my mom got onto me and said I hurt Dad’s feelings.
I said that I was just trying to defend my fiancé at first, and Dad escalated it. I don’t know, he was pretty wasted, and getting into it with him wasn’t the best idea. Honestly, I didn’t want him to go off on my partner, I wanted to take the brunt of it for her, and I don’t feel remorse for taking him down a few pegs.
Am I the jerk?”
33. AITJ For Threatening To Call The Cops On The Guy Who Was Following Us?
“I typically walk my dog around a nice paved neighborhood trail and our neighborhood. Today I asked my wife if she would like to join and all 3 of us were off.
We were having a good walk then out of nowhere both noticed this one guy coming up behind us.
Neither of us thought about anything, just a guy, right? Well, then he started walking faster to catch up. So my wife saw a cat and went up to pet it. I, being a dumb dude, was wondering what my wife was doing petting a random cat, out of the ordinary.
Turns out she was attempting to buy time and have the guy pass. He did pass but he was just looking at my wife the whole time and my wife, whatever, guys check her out, no biggie still, said ‘nice cat’ to acknowledge she knew he was looking, he laughed and we thought that’s that – he goes one way and we go another.
Nope, all of a sudden we heard from a distance ‘Hey hey’. We turned around not knowing what was going on and it was him. We couldn’t hear him but my wife thought he blew her kisses. I thought he was saying something about phones so I checked for mine and hers and was more than annoyed at this point.
But now we had quite a distance between us and we kept walking, no reply. We walked up a big hill, getting closer to our house and we were already discussing looking for him making sure he didn’t see where we lived.
Nope, he comes up behind us!
He had to make up so much distance to get there and I’ve had enough.
I don’t know this guy or what he’d been following us for, I was not fighting anyone, and I didn’t know if he was dangerous or armed.
But I was yelling, asking what his deal was and why he was following us.
He claimed he was only asking if we ‘smoke’ so I told him that’s nonsense and he’d been following us zig-zagging making it weird. He kept coming up to me and we’re too close to home so I gotta lose him.
So I made a move I never thought I would.
I pulled my phone out had 911 on the ready and told him I was calling the cops if he kept following.
So he’s a black dude and starts trying to play race and trying to make it seem like I’m just putting that on him.
But I’m Mexican myself and for me to call the cops or threaten to do that really kind of is a leap for how I’ve lived and perceived cops.
So I kept yelling at him to get lost and made sure he couldn’t see where we were going.
The whole time my wife wanted me to leave and my dogs were barking and he finally left. We went home and now I’m here posting.
But anyways I was wondering if I was the jerk?”
32. AITJ For Refusing To Watch A Kid At The Library?
“I work as a Children’s Librarian. In front of my office is a play area where kids are always playing. Of course, sometimes the younger ones wander in, which I’m used to, and the parents usually come to get them before they get very far.
Today I had a young girl, maybe 5, with Down’s Syndrome repeatedly walk into my office. I gently walk her back out, but she does it repeatedly. I keep looking for any parents and don’t see any. A passing patron says they haven’t seen parents in almost an hour.
I ask the girl but she’s nonverbal. I leave her with a coworker and walk the library, asking every single adult if they have any children until I find a parent. He is on a computer taking notes, so I assume school or work stuff.
He does say his daughter is in the play area (across the library) but also says ‘Why is it a big deal? You’re watching her.’
I say ‘I cannot watch her. Not only do I have my own work to do, but I’m actually forbidden from taking responsibility for kids like that.
They must be supervised at all times and cannot be unattended.’
He says ‘She’ll be fine, it’s a library, what could happen?’
I’m also the acting manager today, so I told him if he was not going to supervise his child, he would have to leave the library.
It’s part of library policy.
He tells me he’s in the middle of an important test for school. He’ll be done in fifteen or twenty minutes. Could he finish quickly and then they’d go?
Here’s where I may be the jerk: I told him no. His options were to be with his kid right now or leave.
I was thinking that if the kid gets hurt, he could blame us, and I’m the manager and I don’t want this crisis on my hands. He got upset but I held my ground so he left.
After that, most of my coworkers agreed that it was the right thing to do but one of them said I didn’t have to be so strict, that it was only fifteen minutes and nothing bad would happen.
But I had no way of knowing if it was actually just fifteen minutes and the policy is no unattended children. If I bend the rules it’ll come back on me and I would also feel obligated to watch her because I don’t want a kid getting hurt.
So AITJ? I feel like I did what I had to and the patron’s poor planning isn’t my problem, but should I have been more flexible or sensitive?”
31. AITJ For Telling My Stepmom She's The Reason I Don't Have A Family?
“So I (14 F), my dad (63), my step mum (50), stepsister (18), and stepbrother (14) are on holiday and today is our last day before I get to go with my actual mum.
Yesterday we went surfing and we’re all talking about the different stupid ways we fell off. I kept trying to say my but SS and SB kept interrupting me and my dad finally intervened when SM interrupted me. And being the easily-annoyed person I am, I said ‘Can I finally talk now?’ to which she responded ‘We’ll all get a chance to talk’ and instead of dropping it and telling my story I went ‘So you can get annoyed when people interrupt you but I can’t when I get interrupted?’ She responded ‘I don’t though’ and we went back and forth until I left the table and went to the sofa.
Later that night we were all doing our own thing and me and SB got into a minor argument over who ate all the cookies. I sat down and said ‘Oh don’t make me start’ and SM who was not previously involved with the argument said ‘Oh please do’ and as I already stated, I am an easily-annoyed person, and I will be the first to admit that if you didn’t hear my side of the story it would definitely be considered toxic.
Anyway, I yelled back ‘OH I WILL,’ got up, pointed to her, and screamed ‘YOU’RE THE REASON I DON’T HAVE A FAMILY.’ and stormed off to the hallway slamming the door.
Before anyone jumps to tell me I’m wrong, hear me out.
SM knows that I have been in and out of therapy for about 7 years (so since I was 7-8) and that I struggle with my mental and physical health. I have heard her say that she does not like me at all, and I know she is the reason my parents got divorced as my dad was having an affair with SM.
And I just started bawling my eyes out as it’s the holidays and I haven’t been able to see my therapist for about 3 weeks now. My dad and I went out for a walk and then came back and we all went to sleep.
And now my dad is sitting next to me trying to make me apologize to her but I refuse. AITJ?
For some more info, my SM did know about my mum and me. She was also married at the time and used me and my SB having a close age as an excuse saying me and SB we were having a play date while they were actually hooking up.
My SS was the one who found the messages and showed them to her dad. SM then went on to ignore her for over a month. SB was still a child at the time.
My dad found out yesterday that I knew that he was having an affair.
SM is an extremely skinny woman as she has a very fast metabolism and thinks that gives her a right to comment on my physical appearance on things such as:
My hair (I dye it a lot)
My weight (even though I’m underweight and she knows I struggle with eating)
My clothing choice (if it’s not her style or wouldn’t look good on her she says it’s unholy and I should change it)
(One more thing I want to add is on the first night SM and my dad got into an argument.
My dad and I went to get food as we had none and when we got to M&S my dad saw he had 23 missed calls and 56 texts all from SM and as SS was really ill at the time we were worried. He called my SM and she just said she needed the car keys and she was going home (8hrs away from where we were on holiday).
I was talking to SS about this and she said that SM didn’t tell either of them and her plan was to just leave SB and SS there with no car)”
30. AITJ For How I Reacted When Mother-In-Law Started Showing Us Pictures Of My Husband's Exes?
“My MIL doesn’t like me much, I don’t think. I was visiting her for the holidays and she was showing me a photo book of pictures of my husband.
I feel like she doesn’t care for me and purposely looks for things to make me insecure.
She showed me a page with a couple of pictures of my husband and other girls. All very coupley photos, a prom photo, a picture of him kissing a lady, and a picture of him on a boat with a different lady in his lap.
And she made a comment saying that his first partner was so pretty and also a Christian.
As a joke, I said ‘Smash’ pointing at one of the pictures. Then at another ‘Pass’ and at another ‘Smash’.
And she was like ‘What?’
And I was like ‘Wait what was the game?
Smash or pass?’
And she again goes ‘What’ all confused.
I said, ‘Oh were we not playing Smash or Pass?’
She asked what that is, and I said ‘Oh, it’s a game where you decide if people are hot! Like if you think they’re hot enough you’d sleep with them, you say ‘Smash’ and otherwise you say ‘Pass’.
I figured that’s what you were going for talking about how hot this chick is!’
She said that she didn’t understand, and I was like ‘Come on, it’s fun!’
She said that it was really inappropriate of me, and I said it was just a bit of fun.
She got frustrated and asked if I was serious. I said ‘Oh not literally, like I’m not trying to actually sleep with anyone! I thought we were just talking about who’s hottest!’
She said that was really wrong of me and I said that I thought she was trying to gossip about which of his exes were hot and which are not, from what she said.
She slammed the photo book shut and called me childish.
That is fair, like I’d kinda stolen the joke from a TikTok after all…
AITJ for being obnoxious about my MIL showing me pictures of his exes?”
29. AITJ For Not Letting Our Elderly Neighbor Connect To Our WiFi Anymore?
“When I first moved in my place my neighbors were kind enough to let me use their WiFi for a week until mine got hooked up. It was dodgy, and slow, in and out WiFi couldn’t play Xbox Live just stream movies but I was very thankful and gave them $20 to put on their bill.
Fast forward a few months: their WiFi is cut off because they are behind on the bill. They ask to use mine and I’m reluctant because of privacy reasons and it possibly slowing down (I have 14 devices hooked up mostly smart home things and cameras) and it’s very important they stay connected. My WiFi is a lot faster and from a better provider and I’m assuming it costs more just adding information….Well, I felt guilty and let them use it agreeing they would pay their bill in a week.
Well, it’s been 2 weeks and they’ve used over 100 gbs in 1 week alone. My wife is frustrated with the WiFi drastically slowing down and now my Xbox is lagging when online so needless to say we’re experiencing the negative effects of them sucking up the WiFi.
Also whenever it crashes they immediately text or call us to fix the issue not in a demanding angry way but more of a ‘passive-aggressive make you feel guilty’ way. We never complained when theirs would crash… didn’t feel right to complain about something free.
It’s going on a new week and we made the decision to block them from the WiFi. We made this decision because it’s been 2 weeks since we agreed on 1 week and I really feel they have no plans on paying their bill and just using ours (my opinion) second it’s slowing down to where we are suffering and can’t use our devices as normal.
3rd I don’t want my security system to crash while I’m away for obvious reasons. So with all that said AITJ?
PS. They don’t work from home or I’d be more hesitant to disconnect but they are elderly which makes us feel guilty.”
28. AITJ For Being Petty To My Stepsister When She Asked Me Where I Got My Dress From?
“I (16 f) basically have the body of a child. I don’t have curves or a butt. I can barely fit in a cup. I am exactly 5 feet and I look anorexic according to most people and to top it all off I have a major baby face.
My stepsister (23 f) on the other hand has an amazing hourglass figure that she loves to show off and constantly compares my body to hers.
Today I was getting ready to go on a date. While I was getting ready I went downstairs to ask my sister something.
My mom asked me where I was going and I reminded her that I was going out on a date. They complimented my outfit and asked if it was what I was going to wear to which I told them it wasn’t. While I was talking to my parents my stepsister took it upon herself to comment on my outfit telling me that the outfit was wasted on someone who is built like a child (it was a skin-tight white dress that went just below my knees) and that she’s glad I’m not wearing it.
She then proceeded to make fun of my body and started saying that anyone who was willing to go on a date with me was into children and that no one who wasn’t attracted to children would want to date someone who looks like and is built like a child.
She then started to say it was a shame that I didn’t have a gorgeous womanly figure like her and that she was sorry for me.
I was extremely upset however I didn’t want to cause any problems so I let it go, I ended up deciding to wear a yellow flowy dress that I had been wanting to wear for a while.
After my date texted me he was here I went downstairs to leave. However, my stepsister stopped me to ask where I got my dress from. I was shocked and upset that she had the audacity to ask me where I got my outfit from after she just made fun of me and basically said that my date likes children.
So I said that I got the dress from a child’s store (which was true) and that I highly doubted it would fit her since it was made for little kids and that her gorgeous womanly figure wouldn’t be able to fit in it. Thankfully however I am built like a child so I fit in it with no problem.
Everyone got quiet and I immediately left for my date.
Later when I got home my mom and stepdad said that what I said was uncalled for and that I needed to apologize to her. I pointed out that what my stepsister said was uncalled for and they didn’t say anything.
However, they tried to justify it by saying that she was an adult and that they couldn’t do anything about it. I told them that they could at least defend me and that if they weren’t going to then I was going to continue to talk back to her.
They got mad and said that I was being unfair to them and a jerk. I really don’t think I am in the wrong here however I wanted an outside opinion so AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Leaving My Partner At His Workplace's Christmas Party?
“My partner (30 M) and I (24 F) were invited to his Christmas work party.
I was so excited to go and I had an outfit all planned out and everything.
So my partner was scared of his boss and really wanted to make a good impression which I understood. I had been mentally unwell due to a fatal train accident that I was in the previous month.
I was suffering from PTSD (well still am) and seeking help for it. It was such a hard thing to witness.
So the night comes and we get all glammed up for this party. My partner was making me more excited by telling me it was in this massive hall in the city center.
When we finally arrived at this massive building the usual security checks were in place to make sure that no one had any weapons etc.
As I entered the main hall I could tell it was a listed building (in the UK listed buildings cannot be changed) because it was in fact an old train station.
I looked up and the interior brick walls, clock, and shape still remained like a train station.
After a while, I felt a sheer sense of panic and headed to the toilet to quickly clear my head. When I came back I told my partner that I felt uneasy and panicky because we were in a train station.
He then told me to get a few drinks down me because it would make me feel a lot better. So I did.
An hour later I felt worse. I was really trying to hold myself together and found it so hard to do so.
So I asked my partner if I could go home and that he could stay and enjoy his night. He kicked off at me telling me how selfish I was being and how it would look if I left. I told him that his work has a counsellor on site so they should have some sympathy.
I then ordered an Uber and told him I was going home and to not worry about me. I made it clear that I was just going to bed and that I wanted him to stay and enjoy himself because he deserved it.
As I was outside waiting for my Uber he came outside and ended up going home with me.
He spent all night trying to argue with me and telling me how selfish I was being. He didn’t understand how it would bring on my PTSD and that I was making up excuses.
I ended up losing it and screamed at him that I couldn’t even stand on a platform without being scared. I shouldn’t have shouted but I felt so trapped. I then went on to explain in great graphical detail the events of my traumatic experience.
He told me that he didn’t want to hear it and that I was making him feel sick.
That was it and I got my belongings and checked into a Travelodge hotel.
I do feel so bad for ruining his night. Things haven’t been the same between us since but I need to know if I’m the jerk at all in this.”
26. AIJT For Not Regretting Sending My Daughter To A Rehabilitation Program?
“So I (46 F) was married and had two daughters. When Abby was 5 and Sara was 8, my husband passed away. It was awful and really affected the two girls and after his death we went to family therapy for a long time. When Sara was 13 I started to date again and this is where the problems started.
Sara started to act out a lot, screaming, breaking things, and more. I kept my new partner away and started Sara in private therapy and therapy with me in the sessions. (we stopped family therapy when she was 11). It didn’t help and just kept getting worse and worse.
It got to the point where I broke up with the guy at the time since I thought it would help Sara.
It didn’t get better and really affected the relationship between the two sisters. Abby started to resent Sara for her actions. When Sara was 15 she and her friends (she was not in a good crowd at school) snuck out of the house and stole a friend’s parents’ car.
They were caught by one of the parents and Sara was in the driver’s seat wasted. That was the last straw, I signed her up for teen rehabilitation programs that deal with all types of issues. Since Sara was considered a flight risk since she sneaks out of the house all the time, they picked her up in the middle of the night.
She was in the program for six months and during that time, I sold the house and moved to a different state, so all of us would have a fresh start. After Sara got back from the program she was a lot better, there was still work to do but the whole family was able to get through it.
However, the relationship between Sara and Abby has never been close since.
Today Sara is 22 and is back from college for spring break. Yesterday we were looking at old family photos from our old house. Sara was quiet for most of it and asked me if I regretted sending her to that program.
I told her no. Sara was shocked and started crying saying that the place was a nightmare that she has to work through to this day, I said I know (I heard the extremely strict rules the place had before). She screamed if you knew it was miserable for me why don’t you regret sending me there and I told her she would have ended up in jail without it.
She hasn’t talked to me since. So AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Throwing Up My Mother-In-Law's Dish?
“So I (f 27) have been married to my husband (m 34) for the past 2 years. My relationship with my MIL has been ok but we are not extremely close as we have different opinions on some matters.
Like last year during a controversial law implementation in Texas, we were having a discussion at a family event and she told me how if I ever thought about giving up on a baby she would make my husband divorce me.
But she laughed after saying that and said she was kidding. She had made similar kinds of jokes regarding me having a girl child first as well.
Well fast forward to last night. She had come for a visit and brought food with her. She had made my husband’s favorite dish and one other dish.
She said she had brought her favorite dish only for my husband and the other dish was for me. Well, we started eating and I tasted something bitter in my food. It wasn’t that much so I just kept on swallowing it with water because I was afraid if I complained my MIL would get angry.
As I dug deeper with my fork into the food I saw something like black powder. It looked like the food was stuffed with it. I inquired about the same so she told me it was a new spice she got from a friend. I took a mouthful of that stuff and couldn’t swallow it at all.
I rushed to the bathroom and threw it all up. I got violently sick and my whole mouth became bitter.
When I came out my husband gave me some water. Suddenly my MIL got very angry at me and said I was intentionally doing this whole act of throwing up to show she is a bad cook.
My husband tried to calm her down but she left our whole and took the food she brought with her while leaving saying we don’t deserve it. She even emptied the plate I was eating from in a container and took it as well.
While my husband is on my side, others from his family have been very angry at us as well and asking me to apologize.
AITJ here?”
Your mil is twisted who the jerk gives their sons wife food laced in something she KNEW would taste bitter and possibly make you ill... she did tnat to start this fall out how you can prove it to hubby though is another matter
24. AITJ For Reporting My Boss To HR, Causing Her To Get A Final Warning?
“My boss was hired in October of last year into a company I have worked for for 5 years. I was involved in the hiring process and interviewed her and all other candidates. She was the last on my list, yet here I am writing this story.
At first, everything started off relatively normal and I was warming up to the idea of her being my supervisor, but things have changed drastically since then. Here are some of the things she’s done/said that led to me reporting her:
– She has made jokes about how I get to do all of the ‘dirty work’ and ‘things she doesn’t want to do’ because of my salary bracket, and that she doesn’t have to do any of it because she makes more than I do and has ‘been there done that.’ She typically says this when asking me to do something she knows isn’t in my job description.
– There have been countless occasions of her leaving early, including one occasion where she openly admitted that she waits until 5 minutes after her boss (the director of our department) leaves so that he won’t see her leaving the office early. I have seen her leave as early as 2 PM or 3 PM when her boss has been out of the office.
– During a one-on-one with her, I was told that since my coworker would be out, I was ‘not allowed’ to take any sick time or vacation time during the time my coworker would be absent. She then proceeded to take three days off during the time that my coworker was out.
– When an employee was gone, she walked out into the common area of the offices and said she wanted to switch out her chair for the employee’s chair. because it looked more comfortable. I advised that she should ask the employee if that was okay before taking it.
In response, she slammed the chair into the desk and stormed off into her office, making statements about how she ‘outranks the employee’ and that it was ‘ridiculous’ that she had to ask for permission.
– During multiple different staff meetings, she has made inappropriate comments, including ‘Sorry if I’m a jerk this week, it’s my lady time’ (this has also been said at least one other time in a one-on-one between her and me).
I really don’t think that your coworkers need to know about your personal intimate health, especially in relation to the bodily functions of your private parts.
All of this is about half of what I reported, but these seemed to me to be the most egregious things she has done.
I tried multiple times to have a conversation with her about my frustrations but was continually shot down.
I know HR has talked to her and given her a written warning, which is your last strike before termination. I think I did the right thing, but I guess somehow it got back to her that someone reported her and now she knows (she only supervises me and one other person in my department, so it wasn’t much of a challenge for her to find the rat.) She has now been essentially refusing to talk to me unless it’s absolutely mission-critical, and to be totally honest I’m concerned about her retaliating against me for reporting.
AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Making My Partner And His Bratty Daughter Rent A Car On The Way Home?
“I (27 f) started seeing Dave (44) 3 years ago. I have 2 sons (9 and 6).
He has 1 daughter, Ann (17). I booked a road trip for me and my sons roughly 3 months ago. A road trip consisting of roughly 26 hours worth of driving with stops in between. This is the first time I’ve ever been financially able to do much of anything with my children so I went all out.
Planned to stop at every place they had ever asked me to go, basically. I was beyond excited to surprise them with this trip. We got home 4 nights ago.
A week before leaving, Dave decided he wanted to go with me and bring Ann as a ‘bonding’ experience.
We do not live together and Ann has never liked me because I’m ‘boring’. She has said this to my face. So Dave thought it would be good. I didn’t really want either of them to go but thought whatever, why not. This could be good for us.
Boy was I wrong. From the moment Ann got into my vehicle she started complaining about absolutely everything. It was too crowded, too loud, we were taking too many stops, the boys were ‘too annoying’ and ‘need to quiet down and chill out’.
We got a hotel for 9 hours in (PA).
It’s around 3 pm at this point. Dave asked if he could take a drive with Ann because she was getting irritated with the kids. I told him he could if he would make it quick because I needed to go get dinner supplies. 3 hours later he showed back up.
He and Ann went out to eat. So I made a comment saying ‘You didn’t think we wanted to eat too?’ And Ann snapped back with ‘I don’t think we asked.’
After comments like this for days, I finally snapped. My body is now saying they just want to go home because several times Dave told my kids to be quiet because of his kid’s comfortability.
At this point, I haven’t done anything with my kids because the queen would have a fit if we pulled off anywhere AND Dave at this point basically refused to let me drive despite me arguing. IN MY CAR. So I snapped and told him to pull over.
When he finally did, I drove to the nearest car rental and told them to get out of my car. Dave and Ann both started flipping out. Ann was saying she wasn’t going to get in a car that had ‘bed bugs’. Dave said he didn’t want to take separate vehicles and didn’t have enough budget for a rental because the queen spent over $1500 in 4 days.
So I said ‘I don’t think I asked.’ And took off. They were close to 800 miles from home. It took them 4 days to get home due to lack of money and needing to borrow. I’m being told I’m a selfish jerk. AITJ?”
22. AIJT For Reporting My New Neighbors And Their Kids To Our Landlord?
“I live in a compound with 10 houses altogether.
Four weeks ago a new family moved into the only remaining empty unit. They have 2 small children; a boy around 8 and a girl around 6.
All the kids that already lived here play on the main road that runs through the compound as it is private access only and therefore relatively safe.
But they always make sure to stay away from driveways and not hit anyone’s car with their football/tennis ball etc. It’s nice seeing the kids play together after school and they are all very polite and move out of the way if someone is driving through the street.
However, this new family leaves their toys including scooters, bikes, and even a cricket bat lying in the middle of the road. The kids also throw their balls into garages.
They snuck up my driveway right next to my windows and threw bits of pebble at the window and then screamed when my husband went to check what was going on which woke up my 2-month-old newborn.
After 3 weeks of this, I went to the new neighbors and asked them to keep their kids under control. The wife told me their nanny cleans up after the kids (which she doesn’t do outside or I would never see bikes etc. everywhere) so there is no problem.
I got frustrated and started taking photos every time the new kids left a mess and blocked the road. I sent that along with a video of them sneaking into my garage and driveway to the landlord who said he would take care of it.
I noticed that they have been better behaved this week and casually brought it up with my neighbor R who said that the new neighbors had received a warning from the landlord and were angry that someone had reported them.
Now I am wondering if I should have tried to talk to them again instead of just straight away reporting them.
AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Giving My Son And His Partner A Book About Parenting?
“My son (30) and his partner (28) just had their first child. That made me a first-time grandmother. Before the birth, the girl sent me their registry for the baby shower, I bought them the crib and stroller. Important to note, the exact ones they selected.
I also gave them an extra gift. A basket filled with clothes from newborn and some she would fit into as she grew, a few toys, a restaurant gift card for them, and finally a book. Not just any book though. My mom had gifted this book to my husband, me, and my son when I was pregnant with him, he was my first child.
On the first page, she wrote us a beautiful note and blessed our child. Below her note, I did the exact same in my own words. But, I also included in the message how special this was, now passing down this sentimental book to them.
A few days after the baby shower I received a text from the girl. ‘Just so you know, I do NOT need you telling me how to raise my own child.’ I was confused, I showed my husband the message. I asked him, did I say something off at the baby shower and not know it?
He was just as confused as I was. I responded to her, saying I’m sorry I’ve upset you, but I’m honestly not sure what I said wrong.
The next morning she responded with, ‘It was nothing you said but that book. Way to imply I don’t know anything about being a mother.
I threw it in the trash. Also, by the way, I hate pink. You can have all these clothes back.’ I almost wanted to ask if this was a joke since the stroller and crib she selected both had splotches of pink in the design.
But, I was more upset over the book. You threw it in the trash? What?
The book was absolutely nothing bad. It was a guide, specifically for new moms. It covered pregnancy stages up to 36 months. It had recommendations to relieve back pain, stress, and other things associated with pregnancy.
Breathing exercises, what to expect during labor. One of the most helpful things was that it explained signs to watch for during pregnancy. Or things that were completely normal but raised concern. That saved me many trips to the ER in my last trimester as I didn’t know if what I experiencing was normal or not.
With each age of the child, it gave fun activities to do together, and recipes for age-appropriate ranges. A lot of health references, it was written by a pediatrician and his wife. Again, things with my first infant I didn’t know if was ok or not.
Instead of contacting the doctor for every question, it was a great tool to refer to. Even if something wasn’t normal and didn’t need immediate attention, it was nice to read ahead of time while waiting for the doctor’s response. It was that type of book.
With the unwanted clothes, I started buying most of them after the gender reveal, return window was closed. I held onto them and gave them to a couple in need who were expecting a girl. They were very grateful, and I was glad I was able to help them out.”
20. WIBTJ If I Don't Let My Sister Join Our Team In The Coding Competition?
“I (16 f) learn coding. A few friends and I were asked to represent our school at an interschool coding competition. One of my friends had to drop out last minute due to a medical emergency. Our teacher asked us to find someone who was willing to replace my friend.
There weren’t a lot of volunteers, 3 people came up, and my stepsister, Amy (16 f), was one of them. I didn’t even know Amy knew coding because I had never seen her do anything or even heard her talk about it. So I was surprised. We spoke to the teacher about it and she told me to pick Amy.
So we did.
After returning from school Amy started begging me to give her a crash course on coding. I asked her why she volunteered if she didn’t know anything about it and she said it was because the prize is good, and that I would help her anyways.
Now, I can help her in the group round, but in the rapid-fire where the other team chooses the representative from our team, she might be on her own. When I told her this, she said I should just give her a crash course. I said I was willing to teach her, but I wanted someone who knew how to solve problems for the competition because like she said, the prize was too good to pass on, and winning might look good on my college applications.
I didn’t tell her the reasons, just told her that it would be difficult to learn everything in a day and a half, but she got upset. She said I was choosing money over her, and in a way, I think I am. My other 3 teammates and teacher don’t know anything about it, nor have I spoken to my mom or Amy’s dad.
If I tell my teammates, they will definitely replace her, and she will be embarrassed, but I also feel like she might mess up my – and 3 other’s – chances of a win. So, I don’t know if I will be a jerk if I do it.”
19. AITJ For What I Said To My Grandmother Through Text?
“My uncle has always been the favorite. My grandparents think that since he hasn’t made his own family, owns a house, or has a job we must give him extra support and forgive any transgressions (their words). They mean to say, they pity him, but in reality, they are just rewarding his laziness and bad behaviors.
A couple of weeks ago, while my mom was at their house. (She goes once or twice a week to clean, cook, and bring groceries out of her own money) She witnessed my uncle berating and disrespecting my grandmother. He was yelling at her, calling her names, saying obscenities, etc.
My mom is gentle but by no means a pushover. She told him he couldn’t treat their parents like that, and she was going to call the police if she saw this happening again.
He screamed at her, that it wasn’t her house, he did as he wished, that she could cut off the ‘good daughter’ act since they had cut her off the will and not come back ever.
My grandmother initially tried to defuse the situation. But, when she saw my uncle getting increasingly angrier, she started to sing a different song. She told my mom, that she was out of place, that she wasn’t in her house to start making demands, and that it was best she leave.
That she also didn’t want to see her.
I was pretty angry. I texted my grandmother, that I was appalled by her siding with my uncle once again. That she had allowed him to do many things over the years that had been terribly wrong, but that he abusing her at least should open get eyes.
I also, said she had chosen the wrongdoer side. That my mom had proven again and again that she loved them, and that she repaid my mom by choosing the ‘s side. I said, I didn’t want to talk with any of them until they apologized to my mom, and my mom gave me the ok, that if they wanted. Finally, I blocked her.
Two days ago, my mom called me almost crying. She asked me to please talk to my grandmother again, that she had seen the message I had sent and that she was very sad, and missed seeing the baby.
I reluctantly agreed and shot my grandma a message, saying that I love her, and I want her great-grandson to love her too, and send a few photos of him.
Her reply was that my previous message was undeserved. That she did nothing for me to disrespect her in that way. That since I was not apologizing it meant I felt I was in the right. But, I had been unfair, and disrespectful and she deserved an apology.
I told her I stood by what, I said, and I hadn’t really said any lies. I added, that I trusted my mom, and what she had told me, and at least she needed one unconditional person in her life.
So, AITJ for texting her in the first place?
AITJ for refusing to apologize? Should I apologize?
PS: I have no contact with my uncle, we aren’t close. Also, my grandmother called my mom a few days after the incident asking her to go and bring food as they were hungry that my uncle had approved it.”
Tell mom you won't take the baby anywhere near uncle and if she does then you will not be letting her have him alone for a while.. you don't want your child near a man like that.... it may be worth just ringing adult social services to get a welfare check on grandma hopefully they will witness uncle and they will put things into place to get him out the house
18. AITJ For Being Mad At My Ex For Replacing Our Daughter With Her New Family?
“Riley and I (both 39) are friends and have been for twenty-five years. Riley has been with Joe (32) for years now and they have a three-year-old son and are pregnant again. It hasn’t been easy for Leila (18, turning 19) and she has a lot of resentment that bubbles up with how she feels replaced and she’s always been kind of combative with Joe.
She was with my wife Sheila (42) too but they worked together to get past it and are close now.
Now, Leila’s taking mechanical engineering – it’s a very difficult course load, I know, I’ve done it. She needs to take full May to August Summer semesters to finish in five years if one counts in co-op jobs that she can take.
Riley and Joe are planning big a summer vacation for their son and told Leila that it’d be in July and to clear out her schedule for then. But she can’t.
It started a very big argument between Riley and Leila that ended with her cursing her mother out.
So Riley and Joe said they would no longer pay for her university and gave her a one-month notice to end the tenancy and a ten-day notice for unpaid rent which made no sense to me. She just packed up everything and got a friend to bring her to me.
Honestly, she cried hugging Sheila and me for almost two hours before she fell asleep and only told us what happened after she woke up.
Honestly, I was mad and when I phoned Riley I pointed out her notices wouldn’t hold weight, Riley has finals next week and that it was like she was dead set on replacing Leila with her new family, and if this was how she was going to go about disciplining her she’d lose her for good.
Riley just got angry, called me a jerk, told me she was teaching Leila responsibility, and hung up.
Sheila told me I was way too harsh with Riley without listening to her properly and was risking a nearly thirty-year friendship. I know I let my anger get the best of me when I was talking with her but my daughter was crying like a baby, so I know there’s a chance I’m the jerk here, so am I?”
17. AITJ For Wanting My Daughter To Meet My Son And His Adoptive Parents?
“I (26 F) had a baby (A) at 17 who I gave up for adoption. I loved him but I wanted to go to uni and focus on my life before having my own kids. But A’s adoptive parents (B & C) let us have an open adoption.
They are really nice and helped me a lot, I was in care and don’t really have any family and they did stuff like buy me house/kitchen items when I moved out and drove me to uni when I first started and stuff like that.
I’ve not seen them in person much over the years cos I live a bit far away and we’re all busy but we keep in contact and I think of them like my relatives.
A knows who I am and calls me Auntie my-name.
Six months ago I had my own daughter with my fiancé (27 M). I told B & C when I was pregnant and they congratulated me and asked me to send them my registry, and sent some very generous gifts (I know they’re pretty well off, but it was still a few hundred pounds worth of stuff).
We’ve FaceTimed since I had my baby and we’ve talked about meeting up again soon.
My fiancé is really against it. He didn’t like them sending such expensive gifts and has said he finds it weird how we’re close. He’s now said that he doesn’t want them meeting our baby in person because he’s worried that they want to take her because they already have her ‘brother’.
I’ve told him it’s ridiculous, they’re just being nice, they‘ve not said anything weird or even given any signs that they want another baby let alone ours (they already have a daughter who they fostered-adopted). He insists that if I keep calling them and sharing photos of her especially if I go to meet them I’m not respecting his fears, he’s just trying to keep our daughter safe, and he’s allowed to have equal input on who’s allowed to meet her and who is allowed to get pictures of her.
AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Letting My Son Come To His Cousin's Birthday Party?
“My ex (31 f), Jasmine, and I (29 m) have been co-parenting our son, Jonah (6 m), since we split 2 years ago. We were together for six years before the split so I know most of her immediate family fairly well and am still in occasional contact with them for Jonah-related reasons, including her sister, Laura (35 f).
Laura has two children, Henry (8 m) and Lucy (5 f).
Thursday was Henry’s birthday and to celebrate he had a racecar-themed birthday party. He had been talking about it for weeks and Jonah was very excited to attend. As Jonah was staying with me this week, I had received all of the information from Laura so I knew where the party was and when to drop him off/ pick him up, etc.
I was surprised when, on Tuesday, Jasmine told me that Jonah was not allowed to attend Henry’s party. I was confused, unsure if something had happened between her and her sister and if it was even my place to ask, but I eventually learned that there was no issue there, nor did Henry decide that he didn’t want Jonah present and that this was my ex’s decision.
She was going to be attending the party, as Henry was her nephew, and she didn’t want Jonah ‘embarrassing’ her. For context, she feels that he embarrassed her on her own birthday earlier this year and doesn’t want to risk that happening again.
After discussing this further with my ex, Laura, Jonah, and my sister (31 f), I decided, albeit against my better judgment, to take Jonah to the party anyway. About an hour after I dropped him off, my ex started calling me. I ignored her. When I picked Jonah up that afternoon, neither Laura nor her husband had any complaints and Jonah was all smiles.
I spoke to my ex that night and she complained about me undermining and embarrassing her even more so than last time. I explained that Jonah was really excited about this party and that nobody else seemed to have an issue with him or the presents he brought, but my ex just continued to vent before hanging up on me.
Since this is her family, I see why I might have stepped out of line and that perhaps I should have gone along with what she wanted. AITJ?
Edit: To clarify, Jonah does not have behavioral issues/meltdowns. He embarrasses her by bringing ‘weird’ gifts.
For his mother’s birthday, he bought her a watermelon, because she eats melon a lot, which was what embarrassed her as her friends’ children bought more typical gifts like chocolate or flowers for their birthdays. He bought his cousin a few bags of seeds and a book on gardening because their grandparents have been getting them involved in the garden recently.”
15. AITJ For Uninviting My Aunt, Dad, And Mom From My Graduation?
“Today was my (F 21) smaller college graduation. Tomorrow is my big university one. It was fine, I had worked a 16-hour workday the day before which is relevant because I was actually so exhausted. I went home and took a nap and then my mom (F 54), dad (M 45), aunt, and best friend (M 20) went to dinner.
At the dinner, we were having a fun conversation and I was starting to finally have a good time because I was kind of cranky all day from no sleep but I was starting to finally wake up. My mom was talking about a friend of hers that she claimed she’s never gotten mad at or fought within the over two decades they’ve been friends and I side-eyed her and said ‘Hmmmm okay then’ sarcastically and she lost it.
She started arguing with me, asking what I meant, why I said that, I was a liar, and so on and so forth. I was just sitting there like… meh… because I am used to her being relatively sensitive… AKA, borderline narcissistic. I wasn’t really saying anything or engaging in it because I was hoping she would just stop.
Well, no, it gets worse. She starts raising her voice after my dad tells her to stop, freaks out, and continues to call me a liar in the middle of a restaurant, stands up and continues to say random irrelevant things, and walks out of the restaurant.
During my college graduation dinner. In front of like 20 people at least.
We all kinda sat there after in shock that she got so mad. We talked for a bit about it because my aunt was really put off by her behavior and she then came back, called me a liar again, and I didn’t say a single word to her, and my dad is once again telling her to stop before she leaves AGAIN.
I eventually texted my friend to come pick me up from the restaurant because I simply didn’t want to drive home with her at that point, but not before sobbing behind a dumpster in the back with my AirPods in, playing depressing music.
My mom texted me later, not apologizing but asking me ‘Why I would say such a thing’ and I kinda just said ‘Honestly, you know I was joking, and that definitely didn’t warrant that reaction.
I don’t appreciate your behavior today and it shows to me the lack of care you have towards me when you do this at my literal college graduation.’ She then tried to argue and said I hurt her feelings, how I can just stop talking to her after this weekend but let her have this, I always let issues persist but she just can’t do it because she likes things to be squashed fast.
I told her that she allowed her feelings, wants, needs, and drama to take precedence over my college graduation celebration so she will not be welcome at my big university graduation tomorrow in fear she will ruin that too.
My aunt and dad kept saying ‘You know how she is’ ‘She means well’ and ‘She loves you’ basically making excuses for her so I basically uninvited them too.
AITJ for uninviting my family to my university graduation?”
As for the excuse "You know how she is", answer with "es, I do. You may choose to live with it, but I can't any longer."
14. WIBTJ If I Report My Aunt's Partner For Falsifying Documents And Illegally Selling My Grandparents' House?
“My grandparents died a little over a year ago. It wasn’t a surprise, they were both well into their 90s, so their will and wishes for what little they had was all documented. However, my aunt and her partner (both in their 50s) made the last year miserable.
The will stipulated that my father was the executor and that their only remaining asset, the house was to be sold and divided evenly among the 4 siblings. However, since my aunt didn’t own a home herself she was given a 1 year option to buy it from the estate at market value.
Pretty straightforward.
Unfortunately, she’s been with a huge jerk for the last decade. Her partner decided he could sell the house for 100k over even the current high market value and said that my aunt wouldn’t allow them to sell it unless it was on his terms. As the executor my dad refused and they have been fighting about it for the entire 1 year period my aunt has.
Eventually, he said he wasn’t going to talk to us anymore and my aunt would only talk to us via email. Every single email was written in his cadence and took time out to say just how wonderful her partner was. No one believes she wrote a word of it.
About 2 months into the battle a family member went to check on the house and found a For Sale sign in the yard. The company was the same one her partner worked for and while she denied he had anything to do with it, we quickly found the listing complete with his name.
We have no idea how long he had been trying to sell the house without permission or who he’s shown it to. When we called the company they said the owner had signed all the paperwork which as the executor only my dad could do.
Right after we contacted the company my ‘aunt’ sent an email flipping out and accusing us of going after her partner. The sign and listing were gone that night.
They fought for the rest of her 1 year period causing my dad an incredible amount of stress.
She eventually got lawyers involved, or at least claimed to. Personally, I think the lawyer’s emails were from the guy too but I can’t prove it. But as soon as it was over, the house was listed and sold.
Here’s my problem. I want to report her partner to the company and to the realtor license board for falsifying documents and trying to sell a house he doesn’t have permission to.
My dad is conflict-averse and just wants to let the whole thing go. I can report him anonymously and with our large family that all knew what was going on, no one could trace it back to me.
WIBTJ if I went against my dad and reported him?
It would undoubtedly cause more drama and stress for my dad and the rest of the family but the guy should face some sort of repercussions.”
13. AITJ For Going Off At My Coworkers For Commenting About My Promotion?
“I (female 26) work in a tech company. I started working there right after I graduated college. I started with the lowest rank (of course) but I’ve been promoted twice (kind of like a more important job but still had some people above me first and recently to manager of my section).
When I started working in this company I met my boss and we became good friends. We had a short relationship too for some time but ended up (on good terms). My coworkers don’t know this, or at least they can’t be 100% sure if we went out because we never told anyone, although they could see us leave together sometimes and join the dots I guess.
While we were going out, I got my first promotion and people made some comments (because I was fairly new, although I did work a lot for that promotion) but I ignored them.
Recently as I said, I got another promotion and my coworkers wanted to go out to celebrate.
I agreed and we went to a bar, not many of us, just the department I work at (and not even all of them, we were like 12).
We had some fun, but then one of my coworkers told me I should be proud of how much I worked to get this promotion, and another of my coworkers (a woman) told me I must be tired from work, especially the ‘inside the sheets’ work.
They all started laughing and making jokes about it, like if making our boss fall in love with me was my plan all along, calling me a strategic woman, and telling me I must suck up so we’ll because our boss got me two promotions.
I obviously was angry and embarrassed, so I reminded them that even if I was going out with him he couldn’t give me a promotion because we have other bosses too and our boss can’t make that kind of decision by himself but they just brushed me off by telling me that his opinion matters and that he can easily convince the other bosses to promote me if he wants to.
I told them it was really disgusting that they were implying that I was a flirt and that I needed to sleep with our boss for a promotion, paid my bill, and left.
The next morning I went to hand them a project that our boss asked us to finish.
The same woman who started the jokes told me it was rude that I left when all of them were celebrating me, she said they were joking and that I should apologize to them.
I tried to ignore them and just hand them the project so we could get started and told them to just start working, the same woman said ‘Okay Mrs (boss’s last name).’ I lost it then I yelled at them to shut up and get to work already or I’ll fill a report with HR.
They all left for work after that.
I’ve talked to my boss about this and he agrees with me but then I told my brother what happened and he thinks I shouldn’t have yelled at them, although he agrees that they were rude to me too.
My mother also thinks that. Now I’m kinda confused as if I was a jerk or not.”
12. AITJ For Wanting My Partner's Dad To Call Me "Doctor"?
“I (27 M) have been with my partner (26 M) for about 3 years now, and have known his family for a little under that. His father is a doctor and when we met for the first time asked me to call him Doctor XYZ (He’s a PsyD.) Personally, I think this is super weird, especially since he still insists on it despite me having known him for well over 2 years now.
That being said my partner assured me it’s just a matter of respect for him because that is his professional title and I shouldn’t think anything of it (he calls his father dad/by his first name, but has told me that in the past his dad sometimes asked to be called doctor similar to how some want to be called ‘sir.’)
I just recently finished my PhD and now am officially a doctor, too. Like I said I don’t put too much stock into professional titles, but it is cool to finally be done with it and I have been bragging recently, just cause it’s such a big achievement for me.
When meeting up with my partner’s family I told everyone that I had finished my degree and they all congratulated me, including my partner’s dad who told me ‘Congrats, OP, but don’t expect me to start calling you doctor.’ I wasn’t really expecting him to do that, to be honest, but the way he said it really struck me so I replied ‘Why not?
I’ve given you the professional courtesy.’ To which he said, ‘That’s not the same.’
At this point, I’m really confused because I didn’t mean for this to turn into an actual argument, but I’m just really confused by the sudden shift in attitude.
I respond by saying ‘I don’t really see how it’s different. I never understood why I should address you as a doctor, to be honest, and was always told it was a matter of professional courtesy. Now I’d like the same courtesy back or I’m not gonna give it to you anymore.’
The argument just sort of went in circles from there until I eventually said ‘Whatever. I’m just not gonna respond to you calling me by my first name anymore.’ And did that consequently for the rest of the night. When my partner and I got back home he got mad at me for trying to one-up his dad and causing a fight.
I do feel like I could’ve dropped it, like I said I don’t really care about being called doctor, but at the same time I feel like his dad’s behavior was complete nonsense.”
11. AITJ For Refusing To Supply Lunch For A Divorced Mom's Family For A Week?
“I (32 F) have an acquaintance, ‘Jane’ (35 F), who got divorced with four kids last year in March. She has three boys (10, 7, 6), one girl (9). Her ex-husband is an awful person towards her and her kids. After a series of events, her ex left the family in an absolutely devastating situation.
We are not particularly close, but we have some mutual friends and have occasionally interacted in the past (her daughter and my twins (10) are good friends).
Jane and I have never really had a conflict. However, she never seems grateful for the help she gets and seems quite entitled. For example, she turned a potluck into her son’s birthday party (her son was five) and is constantly not-so-subtly hinting for people to do something special for her and her kids such as taking them out to eat or buying gifts.
Additionally, we have a kind of ‘social circle’ that we both are in, but she creates her own circle and I’m often left out.
Jane has been constantly sending messages to the group chat asking for meals, monetary donations, and help in general. At the beginning of the divorce and for a few months, I was very willing to help and often sent her meals when she needed them.
I also took her daughter out with my twins for spa days, movies, and other fun activities to help take some of her load off. She did request babysitting, but I was unable to do it due to work and having to take care of my own kids.
Over time, her constant requests for help began to irk me. I still helped out, but not as much as before since I felt that at this point, she should be fairly independent and not rely on others for help so often. Jane also works and has a steady source of income even prior to the divorce.
So when she personally messaged me asking if I could supply lunch for a week, I turned her down. I told her that due to my own priorities in life, I was unable to always provide for her and her family and suggested that she work out a plan for how to move forward.
Jane was extremely upset and told me that her ex had recently escalated things and that they were in a very difficult situation and needed all the help they could get. I stood my ground and told her that I was sorry, but I couldn’t keep helping her.
She called me a ‘heartless witch’ and told me that after all she did for my twins, this was no way to repay her in her time of need. I responded by telling her that letting my twins sleep over a few times with her daughter didn’t compare to almost one year of frequent meals and donations and told her that she was highly entitled to continue to ask.
Since then, a lot of our mutual friends have been telling me that supplying lunch for one week was nothing and that I should have just helped. I’m really conflicted and not sure that what I did was right – I just don’t want Jane to become even more dependent on me (and probably other people) than she already is since we all have our own priorities in life.
AITJ?”
10. AITJ For Helping My Daughter With Her Financial Problem?
“My daughter recently started her first career-type job – she isn’t paid great because she’s very new – but she’s on track to make good money as she gains experience. Grad school used up a lot of her savings so things are a little paycheck to paycheck right now.
The problem is that a mess up in payroll means she didn’t get paid this month. She’s been asked to wait until the next month to be paid. I have no reason to doubt this is true, and no reason to doubt she will be paid in full next time.
However, the problems lie in her bills for the month – she didn’t ask me to pay for them but she was on the phone complaining about it. She won’t make rent this month because of it – so she’s having to take funds out of her long-term savings – this account costs a fee to access and also the stock market is not doing well so to remove funds at a low is a pain.
I told her I would send her what she needed for rent – and she could send it back next month once she’s paid.
My wife and I have enough to cover this that it won’t cause us hardship – and it’s much harder when you’re younger.
I sent it over and she was grateful.
I told my wife about it after I’d sent it – I wasn’t trying to hide it from her I just thought she wouldn’t be bothered so I didn’t tell her in advance – we will have the money back in a month anyway.
She thinks our daughter needs to learn that’s what savings are for and sometimes life is unfair – this is what life is like – so to speak.
I can see her point but I think if we can make life easier for her we should – it’s not as if she’s not working or not trying – this is out of her control and if I can prevent it from costing her money I will.”
9. AITJ For Asking My Son's Significant Other If She Cooks?
“My (45 m) wife (44 f) and I have three children, Jake (22 m), Alyssa (19), and Amy(16). I work at a restaurant while my wife is a stay-at-home mom by choice and I am by no means one of those traditional types of men who believe women should be the ones who cook for the family and clean etc. I simply think that everyone should know how to cook for themselves and provide for themselves instead of buying fast food every day.
My oldest son Jake started going out with a girl from his work named Jenny and they had been going out for almost a month. Jake had already met Jenny’s parents and now they had scheduled a dinner at our house. My wife and daughters were all very excited to meet Jenny.
On the day of the dinner, my wife and I were cooking the meals but then I had to go to the bathroom so it was only my wife finishing up the meal. That’s when Jake and Jenny walked in. My wife began to serve the food while I left the bathroom.
The dinner was going well. As we all sat and ate my wife and two daughters were asking questions about Jenny. When it was my turn to ask questions I asked simple things like ‘So what do you plan on being in the future’ and “What classes for college are you taking’ and stuff like that, then I proceeded to ask her if she had any experience in the kitchen and if she could cook or not to see if I had anything else in common with Jenny.
After asking she was silent and just gave a stare of annoyance and anger at me and then asked why should she have to know how to cook and if I’m one of those men who think that all women should cook and clean and not have a job.
I said no but she got angry, saying that she heard from my son that my wife doesn’t work and that she saw my wife cooking the meals we were eating. Before I could explain she grabbed her things called me a sexist jerk and left through the front door while my son went after her.
I just sat there confused and thinking about what I said wrong. The rest of the evening was awkward.
Later that week I started getting texts from Jenny’s mother and sister calling me sexist and other names. My wife and youngest daughter are on my side but Alyssa and Jake have been saying that I shouldn’t have asked Jenny that question.
So AITJ?”
8. WIBTJ If I Kicking My Son Out For Being A Freeloader?
“I (39 f) live with my husband (39 m) and three children (19 m), (13 f) and (5 m).
Only the youngest is shared with my husband and the other two are from previous relationships. My husband is the only parent working. My (19 m) son moved out over a year ago but was back within 6 months and living in our lounge room on a mattress as we didn’t have a spare bedroom.
We had to move soon anyway as our lease was ending, so we discussed with my son what his plans were. As the current rental situation is hard to get into he decided to stick it out at home (he was working full-time bringing in about 1 grand per week).
We moved into a new bigger house, giving everyone their own space. We discussed with him to pay his way, 180 for rent 40 for all bills, and 100 towards food which he agreed to.
Shortly after moving into the new house my son was made redundant and received a payout (which he spent most of on Uber Eats).
Since then he hasn’t paid for anything he is currently about 13 weeks behind on rent. He refuses to look for work, refuses to help out around the house, doesn’t clean up after himself, and sleeps all day and up all night playing on his Xbox.
Recently the company my husband worked for was liquidated and we were left with nothing to pay the bills or get food. The last few weeks have been really hard trying to feed everyone and keep the bills paid. We still haven’t gotten a full payment and are now behind on everything.
Since this has happened we have had to limit food to make it last, which my son has been eating nonstop at night (enough for 2-3 people per meal) and just doesn’t seem to care when I bring it up with him. It has gotten to the point where I don’t eat so that the kids can.
He just got his tax done and straight away he has ordered Uber Eats again while the rest of us struggle. He just doesn’t care and expects us to pay and cover him financially which we can’t afford to do.
WIBTTJ for kicking him out?
Edit: My 13-year-old and 5-year-old are both autistic the 5-year-old has been non-verbal up until last year. They both have therapy sessions weekly, which take up most of my time during the day. My 5-year-old will be starting school next year so I am studying at night to increase my chances of a better job to contribute more.
We were able to run the household on my husband’s wage before the liquidation happened but since then he has had to take what he could and his hours have been cut due to this.
We did have savings but it was used up during the move it cost us 8 grand to move and we hadn’t had the chance to replenish it yet.
Where I live I only get child support up to 18 years from his father and what I did get was not enough as he didn’t work.”
7. AITJ For Not Eating With My Stepchildren?
“I (28 F) have been married to a wonderful man (31 M) for two years. He has two children from a previous relationship (10 F and 7 M). They didn’t work out because they got together too young and weren’t compatible. There wasn’t anything in particular that broke them apart and they are still close to this day which I fully support as it’s best for their children.
I am currently 11 weeks pregnant and dealing with brutal morning sickness, I can barely stand to eat and the sight and smell of most food especially meat sends me running. Because of this during my stepchildren’s latest visit, I talked to them and explained that their little brother/sister was making it hard for me to be around food right now and so their dad would be eating meals with them at the dining table every meal over the next three days but I wouldn’t be and it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be around them or anything was wrong.
My plan was to grab small plates of food (without meat) as and when I felt able rather than trying to force myself to eat at meal schedules.
I thought it was fine and my husband felt I’d explained it great to the kids, so I didn’t dwell on it beyond that.
Today a few hours after their mother picked the kids up she phoned us upset and demanded to talk to me, she then began to talk about how it was so rude I’d not eaten a single meal with them and that I’d made them feel unwelcome and unwanted and things along that line.
I tried to explain that I’d told them that my morning sickness was just very bad right now and it had never been my intention to make them feel that way and I hadn’t known that. I asked to speak to them to explain this again but she refused, then began to say how this was clearly an excuse as she’d never had morning sickness that bad and how even if it was the happiness of the kids should come first and how could I expect to be a good mother if I didn’t know this?
At this point, I was getting teary as my emotions were all over the place and my husband seeing this realized something was up and took the phone off of me to find out what was going on. They ended up arguing and he told her he’d come see the kids tomorrow to clear this up but that she wasn’t allowed to speak to me that way.
He keeps assuring me that I didn’t do anything wrong and that it could be his ex is perhaps feeling odd as he’s having another kid but that it’s something she needs to come to terms with if so. I myself am less sure, as if the kids made a point to tell her perhaps they’re also upset and it’s not just her saying this?
I never want to make them feel unwanted or unwelcome and I don’t want them to feel like the new baby is pushing them aside. Should I have handled this in a different way? I just feel overwhelmed right now.”
6. AITJ For Wanting My Husband To Focus On Our Daughter?
“My husband (M 51) and I (F 50) were married for 21 years.
He divorced his pregnant wife to get with me, but he saw his daughter Kristen whenever he wanted. Later I gave birth to our daughter Sasha but my husband was having an affair and we took a break, I forbade him to see our daughter.
He missed her early years and now I think it changed everything. He doesn’t treat Kristen (21) and Sasha (18) the same. Kristen is his number one thing, he comes running if she calls him and he can just drop everything if she asks. He pays for Sasha’s education but she just isn’t his priority.
He always talks about Kristen, it’s always about her. Sasha feels it and it hurts her.
I’m sure Kristen hates me for breaking her mom and my husband up. She always does things to rile me up. She calls my husband 5 times a day to chat, even late at night when she knows he’s with me!
She makes him spend a week in a month with her just ‘chilling’ in his apartment. He never spends as much time with Sasha and we live together. It’s a victory if I manage to get us to watch a movie together. Recently I learned that my husband left everything to Kristen in his will.
She gets an apartment, his WW2 collection when Sasha gets just one room in an old hostel building!
Now there is a cat. Kristen already has 3, there is no place for more, so she dragged one into my husband’s flat. She’s claiming someone threw him away and she just wanted to give him a home.
That’s nonsense, she’s doing everything to keep my husband chained to his second flat, away from his other daughter and me. He now has to stay there to feed it. Kristen does it when he’s not there, but now he has a reason to spend more time in his flat, and he keeps doing it.
Kristen knew it would be like this, she did this on purpose, I’m sure.
I asked my husband to give the cat away or we’d have a problem, he said he’d think but he went and consulted Kristen. From what I got, she accused him of betraying that cat and stopped talking to him.
My husband spent all night writing her apologies and he told me he’d never get rid of the cat! He didn’t even want it, Kristen brought it, it’s just one more thing that keeps him away from his family! I finally had enough and I told him to pick between Kristen and Sasha.
He can’t have two relationships at once and if he cares about Sasha he has to prove it and pick her at least this once.
It was weeks ago, he refused to give me his answer and I kept feeling like I’m a jerk but then I got angry again.
I know he loves Kristen, but maybe the threat of not seeing Sasha will make him realize he has another daughter who needs his attention. So AITJ for wanting my husband to focus on our daughter for a change instead of constantly running around his first daughter?”
YOU for being the other woman and then expecting him not to do it to you.. yeah right they always do that, once the mistress becomes the wife he has a slot to fill....
Kristen hates you for ruining her family and she is never going to see you or Sasha as anything other than the people who ruined her parents marriage, so he's ignoring the child that you forbade him from seeing and now you are forcing him to choose you and your kids AGAIN because of a cat haha....
Here's an idea cut your losses, cut him loose and take him for child support an leave him be
5. AITJ For Not Accepting My Grandma's Expensive Gift?
“I (15 f) developed rather early, and the way I was raised made me grow up to be incredibly insecure about this.
I never liked it when attention was brought to my looks, and especially not my chest.
Now, I love my grandma to death. I really really do, but she has a major problem with overspending. She only sees me and my brothers twice a year at most so she loves spoiling us whenever she sees us.
This wouldn’t be an issue if she wasn’t in debt. She works two jobs but they both pay basically nothing.
Another thing is, that I’m the only girl among my siblings, so my grandma has always liked buying me things my brothers don’t get because she kind of sees me like a doll she gets to dress up.
We were at the mall shopping for some clothes my grandma wanted before she saw a super expensive clothing store that she really liked.
We’d been walking around for a while and my brothers hate clothes shopping so they asked if they could get slushies instead.
My grandma said yes.
I was going to go with them but she pulled me into the store because she hadn’t yet gotten me anything and she wanted to get me something while we were there.
I looked around for a while before finding a black dress I thought was cute.
The only employee in the store immediately saw me looking at it and told me to try it on. She then pushed me into a changing room with it.
I looked at the price and saw that it was incredibly expensive. I was going to put it back but my grandma insisted I try it on.
It was really complicated, so it took a while. After a few minutes, the employee asked if I needed help, and I said yes.
She came in and helped me, and that’s when I noticed the incredibly deep v-neckline. I was not comfortable with this at all because it was very revealing.
I pulled it up to be less revealing, to which the employee immediately pulled it back down to how it was originally. I told her ‘No I don’t like it like this.’ And readjusted it, to which she did the same thing again and said ‘Honey it’s supposed to be like this.’
My grandma called me out and I showed it to her. She said I looked lovely but I told her I felt uncomfortable and it was too expensive.
She and the employee insisted that I get it but I said that it would be stupid to spend that much on something I won’t wear.
My grandma got really upset about this because she wanted to get something nice for me and I was being ungrateful.
After I changed she paid and it ended up being twice as much as the dress was priced at which I thought was incredibly expensive.
My grandma then would only speak to me in an angry tone of voice until we got home.
I talked to my mom about it and she said that while I was right, it was rude of me to decline the gift and that I should have just accepted it and never worn it.
I said that my grandma didn’t have the budget to spend on stuff like that and that she already spent a huge amount.
My mom then said that it was none of my business how my grandma spends her money and that she can use it as she pleases.”
4. AITJ For Not Allowing My Sister-In-Law To Visit Our Child?
“So I (34 f) gave birth on Christmas Day before my son’s birth and to lessen visits.
We (my husband, 28 m) made a list in October and sent it out to everyone
Some rules include:
– up to date on ALL immunization shots
– if you feel anyway sick don’t visit
– let us know a week beforehand so we can arrange a day/time
– no smokers
– no phone calls or visits between 7:30 pm-10 pm
– you can only stay an hour
– no picking up the baby without consent
– no advice
– no perfume/deodorant
– no is no, we won’t explain why
– no pictures to be taken or posted on social media
– if you visit the first time you will be expected to give mom (me) a gift card and a gift for baby from our approved list
– before you ever come no matter how many times you will be given a list of either food or groceries to bring with you AND a chore for a list of your choosing
– no more than two visits a week per person
It helps to keep the visits to a minimum and no one can complain about favoritism because everyone is treated equally. This brings me to my current situation: my sister-in-law (20 f) studies in a different part of the country and is rarely home asked to visit last week before she had to go back to school, so we set up a date with the link to our gift list then sent her the takeout we’d like including the chores she can choose from.
I sent it immediately, and then she texted back saying she was broke and asked if she do extra chores instead. My husband and I talked about it and came to the decision that if we bent the rules for one person everyone would want the same treatment.
We told her no, that we were very clear about our rules, and maybe next time she could visit. She begged and even said would clean the whole house because it would be June before she would be home again and we simply texted no. She didn’t reply.
She left this morning and we got multiple texts from my in-laws belittling us for using our child as a cash grab. My husband simply replied that it was our rules and no one deserves special treatment than told his family they were on a time out and blocked them.
Since then my family and our friends have told us we were wrong because she is a broke college student and they would have understood if we looked the other way once. We have tried reaching out to his sister but she won’t reply.”
3. AITJ For Giving Our Family's Townhouse To My Best Friend?
“I (23 F) don’t have any close relatives anymore. I never knew my father or his side of the family and my maternal side had some major drama that happened before I was even born causing my mother to cut all contact except for my grandmother and two nephews.
I don’t know what happened and now it’s too late to ask. My grandmother died 10+ years ago and my aunt and those two nephews died as well 7 years ago in a terrible car crash.
Three years ago my mother died in an accident, leaving me practically alone.
As her sole heir, I inherited besides other things a townhouse in the countryside which was passed down from the grandmother. It’s a beautiful house with a big garden that has been in the family for some generations, as far as I know. It requires some repairs and I’m slowly working on that.
But in the years after my mother’s death I’ve been struggling a lot with the concept of mortality and the suddenness of it.
In my country, if after the death of an individual and no relative claims the inheritance, it would all go to the state.
I would hate this house to disappear into nothingness and therefore I decided to draw up a will and leave it to my best friend. We’ve talked about it and she is cool with it, saying that she doesn’t care if she is in the will or not, but if this gesture gives me peace of mind then she’s glad to help.
At the time of drawing up the will, I truly thought I was alone and no other relatives knew about me or cared.
Recently my grand-aunt (grandmother’s sister) reached out to me. I was vaguely aware that sometime before my mother’s death, she was in contact with my mother, like a simple call once a month, maybe my maternal side was trying to mend bridges, but I never cared and never asked. My grand-aunt is actually pretty nice if a bit old-fashioned in her beliefs.
I discovered that I actually have a lot of distant relatives but almost all of them live someplace away or another.
A couple of days ago we were talking and it turned out into quite an emotional conversation and the townhouse came up. My grand-aunt asked me what I was planning to do with it and I, distraught with emotions, stupidly let it slip that it was in my will to go to my best friend.
My grand-aunt instantly blew up at me, saying that I have no right to give out a family house to some stranger, I was a jerk to do so and my mother would be ashamed of me, why give it out to someone when I have so many relatives and so on.
I started crying and hung up on her. Since then I’m ignoring all her calls and messages.
Was I really a jerk to do so? I’m starting to doubt my decision, it’s not like I can’t change my will if I want to but I don’t really know any of my relatives and my best friend was my rock ever since my mother died. I feel like she is more my family than any of them.”
2. AIJT For Moving Away?
“My significant other and I have been together for over a year and in that time he’s never owned a car. I have one and he basically has been using my car for things like groceries, seeing friends, going hiking, appointments, etc. He does split gas with me but I pay for insurance, maintenance, etc. He probably uses the car as much as me at least 3-4 days a week but he refuses to get his own.
I had many discussions about him getting his own car but he made it clear he thought cars were a waste of funds and he didn’t want to pay for one.
I lived pretty close to him and he wanted me to continue living in my apartment nearby so he could have access to my car.
That’s not what he said but that’s the impression I got. I moved to a cheaper apartment 10 min away by car which is 45 min by public transport. I did it partly for the cheaper rent but partly to stop him from using my car.
He was mad because now he can’t use my car and asked me to give him my car from Fri-Sun so he could continue to use it. I said no and he said I needed to drive to visit him every time because it took too long by bus and I had a car so I could visit him more easily.
I told him I would only visit him once he made the effort to visit me once because I felt he would get used to me giving in to whatever he wanted (like letting him use my car).
After 4 months of this he got frustrated enough to buy his own car but he complained it was a waste of funds.
By the way, he is not poor he’s actually an account that makes good money he just hates spending any of it. He called me a jerk for not driving to visit him and forcing him to buy a car because the bus takes too long.”
1. AITJ For Not Wanting To Give My Son's Money To Him?
“I have a 17-year-old teenage son and I wish I was being dramatic but he is genuinely the most irresponsible person with finances. He will spend hundreds of dollars that were given to him in a day or two and have no thought about it, and I wouldn’t mind if the things that he bought he used often or were fun/helpful but they aren’t.
I can’t even count the amount of times he bought a $60 new game and then played it once and never touched it again. He’ll also spend a ridiculous amount on food delivery apps when I am planning to cook dinner or when I just grocery shopped. For Christmas, he received $300 total and spent it all in 4 days between Amazon, food, subscriptions, and games.
He currently doesn’t have a job so all the money he gets is from sometimes helping his family with something or it being gifted to him. He told me he planned on getting a job and I obviously want him to but I’m not sure if that’ll increase his spending tenfold or maybe teach him the value of the dollar.
But anyway, he helped his uncle with something over the weekend and handed me the money ($225) and said to give it to him and say thank you for the help. My son was aware he gave me the money and asked that I transfer it to his debit card.
I told him that anytime he’s given a large amount of money he will spend it all in a few days so I obviously won’t keep his money but I’ll manage it and anytime he wants to buy something I’ll transfer the amount to his card.
He got very angry and said that it was his money and I shouldn’t have any control over what he worked for, I agreed but said that he would still have all of his money but he just won’t receive it all at once and that once he proves that he’s responsible with finances then he can have full control.
He told me I was being manipulating and controlling and that even if he’s irresponsible with finances it’s still his, I told him that as a parent it’s already my fault that I let him get very irresponsible with finances and that if he keeps up with his spending into adulthood he’ll be homeless.
It’s been kind of awkward around the house and I do feel bad since it does feel controlling but I want to make sure he has good financial skills for the future. Also, this detail might be important in some people’s decisions but his uncle texted him asking if he got the money and he told him that his mom was holding it and would only give him the amount when he needed to buy something.
He texted me asking about it and when I told him about how anytime he’s given any money he’ll spend it all in a couple of days on temporary satisfaction or things he’ll only use once he just chuckled and said he supports my decision but to make sure he still gets the money whether that’s all at once or in small amounts.
So AITJ?”
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