People Express Their Troubles With Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
38. AITJ For Not Wearing The Apple Watch My Partner Gave To Me?
“I’ve been with my partner for 10 months. I got an Apple Watch for my birthday from him a month ago. While I know it’s a very sought item for most people, I personally never expressed any interest/desire to have it, nor do I like having any sort of smart watch, fitness tracker, or whatnot, as I find them overwhelming technologically and I’m really just completely fine with having one phone and everything on my phone.
My partner is a tech enthusiast, and I’m not. I don’t even do watches on my wrists. I have a very nice watch as a gift from my parents, received on my 18th birthday, which I have barely worn because I’m just not a watch person.
The phone watch does it for me as well. And there’s something about having my wrists occupied that I don’t like. My partner knows all this, as I’ve joked ‘Everything on my wrists feels like handcuffs’. However, of course, I said nothing to my partner and thanked him for the gift.
I tried wearing the Apple Watch and it just didn’t do it for me, not the size, not the feel, not my confusion on what I was supposed to do with it, even though I checked tutorials online on its features. So I stopped wearing it.
I honestly feel he bought something HE’D like, and he even started hinting towards a future gift from me being an Apple Watch as well, giving descriptions on what color he’d like the watch and the band to be. I’m glad to buy it for him, but I simply don’t want to wear mine.
My partner saw I wasn’t wearing my watch anymore and started asking why. I made excuses the first couple of times like I forgot it at home, or it doesn’t match the outfit or whatnot, but then I came clean about me not vibing with it.
He didn’t say anything but got gloomy. I left him to it for a while, but after a few hours of this mood, I started pushing and he snapped and said ‘I was being ungrateful for my gift considering how much it cost’. I stopped him right there and told him he was never under any obligation to spend that amount of money on me, and that maybe he should spend more attention on getting to know my likes and dislikes better.
He fumed and told me I was being a spoiled jerk. AITJ?”
37. AITJ For Shutting Down My Mom's Hope For A Blended Family?
“My mom has my brother (29 m), sister (28 f), and me (25 f). We lost our dad 20 years ago.
Three years later our mom married Carl. Carl has two sons and a daughter who are close in age to us. Carl’s first wife died so his kids lost their mom. Mom and Carl envisioned a blended family where he would adopt me and my siblings, she would adopt his kids, and we would be a nuclear family unit.
It was never a natural thing. All six of us were grieving, none of us were really ready for the second marriage when it happened, and had our own struggles accepting a new normal. Once we were living independent lives we stopped being part of each other’s lives on a regular basis.
We didn’t get together outside of something my mom and Carl arranged and even then, it was pretty clear it was a second marriage family. Carl’s kids prefer him, call him dad, and formed their own unit. While we were that way with Mom.
Carl’s oldest is married with kids, his middle has kids.
My brother is also married and is considering having children with his wife. We weren’t invited to their wedding(s) or kid-related stuff. My brother didn’t invite them either. A couple of weeks ago my siblings and I did a little family day and my sister posted photos online.
Mom called to ask me about the day and whether we had invited Carl’s kids. She told me if we were having a family and/or sibling day we should have invited his kids. She said after all the years we’ve known each other it should be a natural thing we’d invite each other.
I told her it was not and it never was. She said it’s her dream. I told her she needed to get out of that fantasy. That it’s fine for her to want that but we’re living in a reality where we didn’t become The Brady Bunch and it is something she should try to accept for her own sake.
My mom told me she didn’t like me calling her perfect hope a fantasy. Carl told me I was a jerk and that we can’t pretend we’re not family forever. What about when he and my mom are gone, etc. I asked him if he really thought that would change anything.
I think he was.
But I do feel kinda bad for how I said it. The plan wasn’t to make my mom feel bad but to encourage her to try and let go of something that wasn’t going to happen.
36. AITJ For Limiting How Much Of My Crisps My Sister's Friend Can Have?
“I (19 f) am staying at home with my family. I don’t pay rent (mum insisted against it as I’m going back in early Feb) and I don’t buy my own food (again, my mum insisted against it) but I buy my own snacks. I always put my name on them.
I have a sister (14 f) who has one friend (Jane – 15 f) over all the time. I don’t know much about her, but I know she’s been in and out of foster care and is recovering from an eating disorder (she’s currently living with her older brother).
The issue is that every time she comes over, she takes all my snacks and will even put the ones she didn’t eat in her bag. It’s very annoying. And she knows they’re mine because they’re in a basket with my name on them. I would gladly share them with her if she asked, but I’m getting to the end of my rope with her stealing them.
Yesterday I came downstairs and saw her holding some of the crisps I bought. I asked her what she was doing and she said these were her favorite flavor. I said ‘I know, they’re mine. I’d share them with you, but you cannot take them without asking.’ I recognize that I probably sounded a little jerkish, but I had spoken to her about this before, but it didn’t get through.
I asked her for my crisps back and she held it out but wouldn’t let go. I took the bag from her hand and poured her a bowl with some sauce. I also chopped some cucumber and carrots for her.
My mum thinks I’m a huge jerk for this.
She says that Jane has had a hard life and the least I could do is let her eat my food. I said I did, but I’m sick of her taking it all. I said she needs to learn not to steal because others might be as generous.
35. AITJ For Getting Back At My Gross Brother By Leaving Period-Stained Tissues Faced Upwards In The Trash?
“My brother (11 m) and I (16 f) share a washroom. I have to put up with many of my brother’s unmannerly washroom etiquette, to say the least. He doesn’t flush his pee at night, leaves toothpaste spit on the faucet, throws his used tissues on the floor, the list goes on.
I’m responsible for cleaning said washroom once a week.
I’ve brought up my concerns with my parents, most of which they agree with me and tell my brother to clean up after himself. Except for this particular problem. My brother leaves his used tissues faced open in the trash can.
I have asked him to flush them down the toilet which he refuses to do because he’s afraid ‘it’ll clog it’. So I went up to my parents and asked them to tell him to flush them. My mother agreed with me but my dad immediately took my brother’s side saying ‘the toilet WILL get clogged’ and he strongly advised my brother AGAINST it.
So to the point, I’ve had my period regularly for years now. I’VE ALWAYS FLUSHED DOWN MY USED TISSUES. So when my dad said that about the used tissues, I was kinda mad so I decided, screw it, I’ll leave my period tissues faced upwards in the trash can too.
Well, I did and my brother LOST IT. He didn’t know what was happening so he immediately went to tell my parents and my dad started yelling at me for being disrespectful and leaving it there.
When I asked him about the poop tissues again he said that ‘this was different’.
My dad then had to later explain to my brother what a period was and trust me my dad wasn’t very happy to explain that. My mom was laughing the whole time, she later told me I did well. But I feel bad that my dad’s mad.
34. AITJ For Wanting To Directly Pay For My Mother-In-Law's Bill?
“I (32 F) married my husband (37 M) 5 years ago and purchased our home 4 years ago. Before this we lived in apartments and he would keep his gambling fund (cash) at his mother’s in a safe, we lived in some sketchy apartments so this was what he felt was the best arrangement.
After we purchased our home he decided we were in a secure enough location to move his safe to our home. On Christmas morning when we were at his parents, he went to get the safe and found over $3000 missing.
His mother went to the room where he was and broke down about how budget was tight and she would give it all back.
My MIL is on disability and my FIL works at a chain restaurant for minimum wage, so I can understand how things could be tight around Christmas. My husband said nothing and let it go and I told him it was his money so it wasn’t my place to get involved.
The following year his mother would go on to ask for more than 1000 for various items that she never returned. My husband finally said that enough was enough and told his mother no more money. She has done this to most of her children, and almost all of them started their adult lives in collections for various unpaid bills.
Even though my husband has said no more money would be spent on his mother over the past 3 years we have broken this several times to help her with moving expenses, overdue rent, a washer, and other things she has needed. She has 5 daughters and my husband.
Only 3 of our families contribute for various reasons.
Fast forward to yesterday, my SIL K wrote everyone in a panic because MIL’s power had been shut off because she hadn’t paid her bill in months. My husband didn’t reply to the message and when I asked him he said he was done bailing his mother out, she needs to take some responsibility and he’s sick of being one of 3 of her children to contribute.
I broke down and told K I was willing to help (out of my own money not our shared finances) but I would not give MIL cash and I would need an account number to pay the bill.
K proceeded to write all of my SILs and tell them that I called MIL a child and I was not to be trusted.
I’ve since told K where to go, how to get there, and what she can do once she’s there.
I don’t regret how I handled things with K, and my other SILs are on my side, but AITJ for not just forking over the cash and insisting on only contributing to my MIL’s situation if I can pay the money directly to the account?”
33. AITJ For Refusing To Giving My Stepdaughter A Huge Amount For Her New Car?
“I (38 f) have 5 children in total with my husband (38 m), their ages are (23 f, 20 f, 17 f, 15 f, and 13 m).
23f is my stepdaughter and all the rest are my biological children, 23f, 15f and 13m are biologically my partner’s children and 20f and 17f are his stepdaughters.
My stepdaughter however was 6 when her dad and I got together, he had her at 15 and was in her life until she was 3 years old then was cut out of her life.
I came into the picture when she was 6 and contacted her mum asking for contact, I received updates, sent money and presents etc. on behalf of us but we weren’t allowed any contact with his daughter.
When she was 10 she found out her dad wasn’t her dad and that my husband was her dad, when she turned 18 she reached out and we all formed a relationship, she and her mum are now in low contact.
I see her as my own daughter and have since my partner and I got together, her relationship with my partner is about 70% repaired but her and I are closer.
My husband and I own our own businesses and have started our children working with us since they all turned 13, just doing general cleaning or admin or going out with their dad when he’s building.
We were young parents and wanted to give our kids a better life than us and wanted them to have money and be stable.
Their first paycheck was saved and for all the others they were made to pay 25% of their wage as board (which we put into term deposits for them to buy homes with when they want to move out, we don’t spend it and they know this) 25% we expected they put into their own savings and 50% was there’s.
We have an agreement with all of our children we will match what they save to buy their first car, our 20f saved 5k for a car and we gifted 5k our 17f saved 8k and we gifted 8k.
23f wants a 34k car and has saved 5k for it and wants us to pay the remainder as a way to fully repair the relationship between her and my husband.
I said absolutely not, we will pay 5k to match her 5k or she can save 17k and we will match the 17k and we will honor the deal we have for all the kids.
She lost her rocket and has been calling my husband, me, and her siblings every name under the sun and my husband thinks we should just do it this one time because he feels guilty and like he owes it to her.
I don’t think it’s fair, we gave her a job like the other kids, and she does the same saving-wise as the other kids, she lives with us and gets treated the exact same.
I understand she has her eyes set on the car and now I’m the evil stepmother but am I really the jerk?
Should I just do it? What about the other kids? We can afford it but that’s not the point? The point is it’s one rule for all in my mind?”
32. AITJ For Calling My Brother A Creep Then Walking Out Of Family Dinner With My Significant Other?
“I (23 f) still live at home. It helps me out and helps my parents out with extra money.
My brother (18 m) still lives at home too. My brother has always been kind of socially awkward (he’s not neurodivergent, he’s been tested, and there’s nothing to be found that’s wrong with him) and sometimes it can come off as creepy but I used to think once you got to know him he was a good person.
Recently I’ve introduced my significant other of 9 months to my family and his been staying over sometimes. Ever since then my brother had become weird and creepy. I’ve caught him taking photos of me sometimes and even photos of me and my SO. I’ve found undergarments that I was certain that was in my room and draws in the washing machine that I didn’t put in there that I’m starting to think were his doing.
He’s also made some weird comments calling me beautiful or hot and it’s really creeping me out and it’s starting to seem his finding any excuse to come into my room and speak to me. There are some other things but these are the main red flags I’m getting.
I’ve been stressed and paranoid lately because of it and really worried about my brother even if his behavior is making me extremely uncomfortable.
Yesterday, we were having dinner. Me, my SO, my parents, and my brother. Out of nowhere, my brother tells my SO that he doesn’t deserve me and rants about how I need to find a nice guy and that his not it (my SO is a great guy so I don’t know where this came from).
I got up and took my SO out of the house shouting to my brother he’s been so creepy lately that I couldn’t stand him and just left. I could hear my brother screaming and crying like a banshee as we left. I’m staying at my SO’s for the rest of the weekend for now but I’ve been getting texts from my parents that my brother is upset and that I’ve made him cry and he hasn’t come out of his room since or even eaten.
I’m starting to feel like a jerk, maybe I should have talked to my brother to see what’s going on. I know he’s having a hard time right now with school and could be stressed. I do love my brother a lot and don’t want him to be hurt but I’m just not sure what I can do for him.
31. AITJ For Telling My Significant Other's Sister Not To Wear My Hoodie?
“I (17 F) am with my significant other (18 M) and have been for 3 years. Keep in mind, I know his family, met his sister (22 F), brother (15 M), and dad well over 1 year ago, and constantly come over. Recently, his sister has been acting childish and invasive whenever I’m mentioned/around.
Ex: I come over and she takes it upon herself to come into the room every 5 minutes to just sit and talk with my SO and completely ignore me for 15 minutes then repeat. Either that or she takes him away for 1 hour because she doesn’t ‘want to go pick up food alone’.
My SO HAS talked to her about leaving us alone whenever I come over but she ignores him and keeps bothering us.
Okay. Whatever. I stay quiet because I really don’t want to cause issues with his family but I’ve been honest with my SO about how I don’t like her.
He agrees she’s been out of pocket recently. My last straw was on Halloween. She took MY Winnie the Pooh onesie to use as her costume without asking and the whole night bragged about how she loves drinking and driving. What?! That’s when I decided okay, I want NOTHING to do with her.
My SO again agrees and is okay with my decision.
Well, today my SO and I went to a quinceañera and while we were eating he got a message from her. She asked if she could wear his JoJos bizarre adventure hoodie to the gym.
That hoodie is mine, I bought it in his size because that makes them comfier but he occasionally wears it or keeps it in his closet. But anyway, she texted him asking if she could wear it. He said no. She responded with ‘Why not?
I’m gonna wear it anyway’. He called her this time telling her not to wear it. She basically told him to butt out and that she can do what she wants.
This is where I step in. He hands me his phone and I text ‘Hey, this is (me).
I’d appreciate it if you don’t wear my sweater. Listen to your brother please.’ She responds with a ton of middle finger emojis and spam texts saying ‘You nor my brother can control me. I’m gonna wear it’ and ‘You just annoyed me and his dad’ and ‘You’re not coming back over anytime soon’ and ‘You’re picking the wrong person to fight with’.
THEN his dad took her side without even dissecting the issue and messaged my SO that I’m basically being a jerk?
His side of the family seems to hate me now. I’m starting to think I should’ve just let her wear my sweater to the gym but I really would rather not associate such a cool sweater with such a horrible person.
I didn’t say anything mean either. I just set my foot down telling her no and she threw a toddler tantrum? Even involved her daddy. I’m not sure what to do now. My SO said he’d take my side no matter what but this entire situation of his family dropping me over a spoiled 22-year-old girl throwing a tantrum cuz I said no seems so absurd.
What should have I done? What can I do? Am I the jerk? I’m so confused and sad.”
30. AITJ For Giving My Nieces A Handmade Rocking Horse?
“I (17 F) am in my final year of high school and one of my classes is Technology where we deal with woodwork etc, we were assigned a project to design and make a wooden household object by the time we broke up for Winter having four months to do this and would be allowed to take it home once finished. I have two nieces (8 f) and (5 f) so after looking at ideas I decided to do a rocking horse.
It wasn’t easy and I needed help from my teacher at points as I didn’t want to take any risks with the safety of this but I managed to finish and I even had some of the biggest guys in my class take turns sitting on it to ensure it could hold weight figuring if it could hold them it’d hold kids.
Christmas day came and I gave the rocking horse to my nieces as my sister (30 F) and her husband had come round to our parents for the day, my nieces loved it and had to be dragged off it when it was time to eat.
My sister not so much and she told me in private she’d have rather I had bought something for the girls as it wasn’t that ‘nice’ and it’d embarrass the girls if their friends made fun of them for it. Now, it’s not exactly stunning, I know one eye is bigger than the other and it’s not as good as one you could buy but it’s not that bad I thought and I was kinda hurt by this and told her as much but she told me I should have run this by her first so she could have let me down before I wasted my time and that this was a risk of handmade gifts.
I was in a rather down mood for the rest of the day but tried to not let it ruin everyone’s fun and her husband loaded it into the car when they were leaving so, fine. She may not like it but the girls had and that’s what mattered.
I came back from a day out with my friends today though and found the rocking horse in our living room. Apparently, my sister had dropped it off while I was gone saying it’d be better if it stayed here so the girls had it to play with when they visited our parents.
It has nothing to do with the room, the girls have an extra bedroom as their playroom so I know it’d fit in just fine and it’s just likely she wanted it out of her sight.
Maybe I’m in the wrong? is it really that bad that it’s not as perfect as store-bought?
Maybe I shouldn’t have made something?”
29. AITJ For Being Annoyed At My Mother-In-Law For Acting Like My Baby Is Hers?
“I (28 F) have been married to my husband (30 m) for 2 years and we’ve been together for almost 10. I love my in-laws and have never had an issue with them, at least before I was pregnant with my first baby.
My MIL has one other daughter, (let’s call her Jane) but she lives across the state, she has 2 boys and is done having kids. She lives close to her MIL and the boys are pretty close to her, which obviously causes some jealousy issues with my MIL.
My whole pregnancy has been one big guilt trip about how she never got to be there for Jane during her pregnancy. She would touch my belly or get really close to it to ‘talk’ to the baby. I would tell my husband that it made me uncomfortable and while he was understanding he also felt bad for his mom too and reminded me about how she missed many ‘moments’ with Jane.
During the last couple of months of my pregnancy, we made the decision to move in with my in-laws to save up for a house. This made my MIL so happy. She kept telling everyone she was excited for the baby to come home to her.
I let those comments slide for a while but finally had to confront her after my baby shower. My parents bought us a crib and nursery decorations from our registry and my MIL made a joke to my mom about how good everything was going to look in her (my MIL) room.
And that she’s basically going to be our live-in nanny. My mom has never had any reason to dislike my in-laws but these comments were very off-putting. I had a sit down with my MIL about boundaries and she started crying and said she just wanted to feel close to at least one of her grandchildren.
I tried not bringing up the topic after that but she didn’t make it easy.
The thing that gets me upset the most is the constant need to have all the baby’s firsts. She wants to be the first to do everything and it’s so hard to tell her no. Until one day.
She waited until I left the room at dinner time. When I came back my husband excitedly told me how much the baby loves mashed potatoes and that my MIL gave her a small spoonful and she went nuts. My MIL said, ‘You weren’t supposed to tell her it was grandma’s little secret!’ I snapped. I said ‘That’s my child and there will be no secrets no matter how small’.
Things got tense and I got called dramatic and that she was allowed to have ‘grandma moments’ with my child, whatever that meant.
I think my last straw is this. My husband and I have just been approved for our loan and will be signing papers on a house soon, about 45 minutes away from my in-laws.
Lately, she’s been going on about how it’s unfair to her and how she doesn’t know how to handle her baby being so far away. She’s ‘jokingly’ brought up suing for grandparents’ rights or about setting up ‘her’ new room. I wouldn’t be so upset if it was one or two ‘jokes’ but after hearing about it daily, it’s starting to feel less like a joke and more like she wants to take my baby.
AITJ for wanting to have another sit-down?”
28. AITJ For Refusing To Switch Lunch Breaks With My Coworker Again?
“So I (22 f) work in an office where we sit for 8 hours, write emails, use Excel Office, write documents, etc., just the typical tasks you do at an office.
This week I was just doing my usual task on the computer, when a co-worker (23 f), let’s call her Miranda, came to my desk and asked me if I wanted to switch lunchtime with her. I was supposed to go on break at 12:00, while Miranda’s break was at 12:30.
I asked for the reason, and she said she wanted to eat at the same time with her best friend (Let’s call her Tessa) who also had break same time as me. I always eat at this time, so I told her that and added that I always get super hungry and tired around this time so I’d rather just have my lunch at 12:00.
I could tell her she was annoyed so she just said ‘Fine’ and left. She asked everyone in our department to switch and no one had the opportunity.
Tessa then came to me and told me that it was unnecessary to refuse to change because they always have lunch together and now they had to eat at two different times.
I told her it shouldn’t be an issue to be separated for 30 minutes. She just said ‘Whatever’ and left.
The next day, on Tuesday, Miranda asked me AGAIN as she was set up to have a break at 12:30 that day. I didn’t want any drama so I just said yes and the reaction I got back was ‘Cool’ and that’s it.
So I had my lunch at 12:30, all the people I’m closest to went back to their desks and I didn’t know anyone who had lunch at 12:30. All of them were in their 40s-50s from other departments, and I have anxiety so I didn’t talk to anyone during lunch.
I was kinda mad because I didn’t even get a thanks and on my way to the kitchen, I walked past Miranda and Tessa and they didn’t even give me a smile or a short thanks. Literally nothing.
The next day, I sent Miranda an email and asked if she could fill out an Excel sheet for me so I could send it to our boss.
I was busy writing other documents so I needed an extra hand. I thought that since I said yes to switching lunch, she would say yes to me. She just said, ‘No sorry that’s your task. I’m busy.’
15 minutes later, I had to use the restroom and when I walked by her desk, I saw her doing online shopping and talking to Tessa who was sitting next to her.
They were chatting and laughing. I didn’t say anything but I was annoyed because they had been so rude to me and I had done both of them a favour just the day before.
So that day’s lunch schedules were sent to us by email, and our boss put Miranda to eat at 12:30.
So I came back from the restroom, did my work and Miranda came up to me… again… asking to change lunch… again. I said, ‘Sorry but no. I can’t change lunch with you everyday. I want to have mine at 12:00, the time that was given to me please.’ The rest of the day, Miranda and Tessa just kept giving me mean looks.
It made me feel bad because I’m sensitive and I usually never say no to people. It made me feel like a jerk… so AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Refusing To Use Up All My Vacation Days On A Single Trip With My Wife To See Her Family?
“My wife (35 F) and I (37 M) have been married for 10 years and have 2 kids (8 & 5). Last year my wife was offered a pretty big promotion at her job. It’s a huge step up and a big boost to her career goals, but it would require a relocation.
After talking it over, we decided she should take it. We moved about 6 months ago. I was able to get a new job in our new city, but I only got 10 vacation days for the first year. Part of my wife’s promotion was that she got a lot more vacation days (she has 5 weeks).
She’s already used a couple of weeks of her vacation time for trips with her friends or sisters. I’ve stayed home with the kids while she’s on these trips. She also took the kids on a trip while I stayed at home. She still has over 2 weeks of vacation time left. We’ve started discussing our holiday plans for this coming winter and she wants to go visit her parents for an extended visit.
She wants to take time off around Xmas and New Year’s and stay with them for 2 weeks. That’s all well and good, but that’s pretty much all of my vacation time.
I told her that I didn’t want to use all of my vacation time just to go and see her family.
I said I would be okay with using 5 days or so, but I want to save some time for me to use for things I want to do like she did. She got upset because she wants us all to be together for the holidays and since the kids have all that time off school anyway, it makes sense to her that we would stay for a long time.
We also haven’t seen her parents since we moved, so I get why she wants to stay that long.
I’ve tried offering that she can stay for as long as she wants with the kids and I would head home by myself early, but that wasn’t acceptable because she doesn’t want to fly with both kids by herself.
Which I understand, but I’m just trying to compromise.
She wants to start booking flights and I am not willing to use all my vacation time for one trip to see her family. We got into a fight over it because she was not willing to accept my compromises.
I finally got mad at her and told her that she got to use as much time as she wanted to do fun things for herself while I watched the kids, and I wanted to be able to do the same.
I told her that it’s great that she has so many new benefits from her new job, but I had to start over and I don’t have those same options.
She took that as me being resentful for moving, which isn’t true. I’m happy she got promoted and I’m not mad about relocating. But I am upset that she isn’t willing to understand that my work circumstances are drastically different from hers now.
I am not willing to budge on this and she’s mad at me that I am not simply going along with what she wants to do.
I know it’s important that she sees her family, but I just want the option to do fun things for myself like she did. She thinks I’m being petty and stubborn because I’m jealous of her promotion.”
26. AITJ For Not Allowing My Mom To Be In The Delivery Room When I Give Birth?
“My fiancé (30 M) and I (29 f) are first-time parents.
As this will be our first child, generally speaking, we don’t have many preferences but the one thing my fiancé asked is if it could just be the two of us in the delivery room/during the birthing process. He doesn’t ever ask for things or generally voice his opinion so I agreed thinking that it wouldn’t be an issue.
This has been discussed with both of our parents for months everyone seemed fine with it. Fast forward to today, I am scheduled for induction tomorrow and we just spent some time at my parents’ house, my mom made a joke about coming to the hospital room and it was laughed off.
(my fiancé is relatively soft-spoken, especially around my parents, and definitely would not say anything to offend my mom)
She recently called and said to let her know when I go in tomorrow and she will ‘be up to visit’ I restated that we had decided it was just going to be the two of us in the delivery room and this has been set for months I am an only child and pretty used to my mom’s guilt trips at this point and generally brush them off but this time she tugged at my heartstrings and I felt bad.
I discussed it with my partner and he still wishes for it to be just the two of us, he is completely fine with her coming to visit after our son is born in the hospital but wants it to be ‘our time’.
Now I feel guilty for denying my mom to be in the room during the birth of her only grandchild, but am also upset that one day before I am to go through this insane life-changing experience both of them have added stress to a situation which in my mind should be about what I want.
25. AITJ For Being Too Embarrassed To Report My Boss To HR Over A Prank?
“My wife and my boss’s wife hate each other. I’m going to call my wife ‘Emma’ and his ‘Charlotte’. Obviously, Emma can’t outright do much about it, but they are catty to the point I can pick up on it. Honestly, there are a lot of toxic elements to my job, but I love what I do and my boss is one of the best in the industry.
He doesn’t seem too bothered by the drama, but I worry because there is a toxic element of kissing butt and having a wife that fits in.
Recently my wife poured wine on Charlotte. Note: Charlotte doesn’t know that she poured it on her and it did look like a spill, but Emma tearfully confessed later that she did it on purpose.
Earlier that day Charlotte had jumped into a golf cart and was being very inappropriate with her husband, right next to me, and Emma got jealous. Emma does have some trust issues and insecurities, and there was other bullying behavior. Charlotte seemed to believe it was an accident.
That all happened on a business trip. So when we got back to the office I did apologize again and offered to pay for damages. He gave me a price I really couldn’t afford, but I guess I wasn’t surprised because everyone knows they are rich.
I was anxious, so I called my mom and asked for a loan. My mom ended up calling my wife and yelling at her. Well, this got back to my boss (he is a family friend and my mom’s husband got me this job) and he said it was a prank.
Her dress is fine and that isn’t what it cost. He was just messing with me.
I told my wife when I got home and she said that is workplace bullying. She thinks I should report it and see if any good comes of it.
I said that I didn’t see how that would happen. He owns a large share of the firm, and everyone knows HR is a joke. She pushed me to ‘be a man’ and I finally admitted I was too embarrassed to report him. My wife said she was ashamed of me and I was not going to succeed without being more assertive.
She thinks this could be a chance for me to advance, but my mom and stepdad, who are much more familiar with this stuff, think I’m right and it could ruin me.”
24. WIBTJ If I Report A Teacher For Not Giving Me Extra Time During Tests?
“I am an IEP student, and part of my accommodations is that I’m allowed to get a ‘time-and-a-half’ test time. Meaning if the test was 1 hour, I would get 1 hour + 30 minutes extra time.
On the first math test of this year, my teacher came up to me and asked me for my paper. I told her that I get extra time, and she said something that I couldn’t quite make out. I didn’t want to argue, so I gave back my test. I told my parents about what happened, and they said that they’d talk to her.
For the second test, she gave me extra time, so I thought that it was probably because she wasn’t aware of my IEP. Then the rest of the year, she didn’t give me any extra time. She’d say that she gives everyone extra time so my test time accommodations are embedded in it.
I couldn’t tell if this was allowed or not.
I had insights about this from different people, wondering if it’s illegal or not. My peers think that what she’s doing is illegal and I should report her. I remember asking my learning support teacher about my situation as a hypothetical during one of my extra time test writing sessions (somewhere along the lines of ‘Would my extra time be embedded if everyone gets extra time’), although I couldn’t really understand what my learning support teacher said.
This evening, I decided to talk to my parents about it on the topic of a math test. My dad said that he talked to her and he is on her side and my mom said that there’s nothing we can do about it and this is on me for getting bad grades.
The thing that frustrates me the most is that all my other teachers give me extra time with tests and assignments if I need them. I’m also really frustrated since I’m not doing well in math despite doing my best and I desperately need a good grade in my math credit for where I want to go and my parents refuse to let me retake the course for summer school.
I also feel conflicted cause my math teacher is really nice as a person and I wouldn’t want her to get into trouble. Besides, it’s only been a year since I got my IEP. Maybe I’m just wrong about all this and I’m making a big deal out of nothing and it’s really my fault that I’m not doing well in math tests.”
23. WIBTJ If I Take My Friend To Court For $900?
“I (F 19) let my friend (F 18) stay in my house rent-free for 6 weeks. She had friends coming and going as they pleased and I didn’t mind the extra company.
We’ve known each other for 5 years.
I let my friend stay rent-free in my house for 6 weeks, during which she paid $75 for food and electricity. She wasn’t able to go back to her shared accommodation as something pretty serious happened and I didn’t want her to be in danger if she returned. Whilst living with me she got a $2,000 savings from something and spent it all on illegal stuff and a pet snake (which passed due to her negligence).
I had my reservations about her getting a pet in my house, but said as long as she looks after it and takes it when she leaves that’s fine.
6 weeks later I arranged for her to leave and she did – only to end up in hospital. She’s later in a psych ward and demands I get her clothes, and bring her money etc. I say to her I’ve had enough of this and I’m not her carer and she loses her mind at me.
‘I’ve just tried to commit and you’re telling me now that you don’t want to be friends!’ Amongst other rude and harsh stuff. (My mother committed so it’s hard for me to be around people like that).
I blocked her and moved on with my life but for the past two months, she’s been sending me harassing phone calls and texts and voicemails from herself and her friends, culminating in ‘You owe me $50 for a controller you broke’ which I didn’t as it wasn’t in my house when I was meant to have broken it.
She’s threatening to phone the police on me now. I know she has an addiction and that she won’t be able to pay me back for the rent, but she’s been harassing me for months now when all I tried to do was help someone who didn’t want to be helped… now I’m considering taking her to court for the $900 in rent she owes for being in my house.
(I like to say I didn’t expect rent, just help with food and bills)
22. AITJ For Letting My Grandmother Pay For My Father's Funeral?
“I am one of 5 siblings. My parents divorced nearly 2 decades ago and my dad was single when he passed away. My dad’s nearest relative (legally speaking) is his mother, whom I have met once in my life at a wedding. She and my dad have had no contact for most of his adult life.
We never saw much of my dad’s family growing up.
My grandmother, my dad’s mother, is very very wealthy. She owns several hotels, she has a yacht. When my dad was a teenager he went on round-the-world cruises, went to private school, etc.
I want to point out that we never saw any of that money.
We grew up desperately poor. I don’t want any and don’t feel entitled to any of her money. As far as I’m aware my parents have never asked for any of her money and my dad has had no contact with her since he was 18 (with the exception of seeing her once at my dad’s brother’s wedding).
As my grandmother was my dad’s nearest living relative legally speaking, she was lumbered with the bill for his funeral. As she insisted on making all the choices regarding the funeral and took charge, because of this we all assumed she was paying. I think it’s worth pointing out that we got absolutely no say in the funeral, she chose all the songs, the location, the coffin, etc. We didn’t even get to sit anywhere near the front (sat right at the back) as all her family and friends were allocated those seats.
We didn’t get to choose songs, read anything, or help carry the coffin.
After the funeral had passed she asked my mother to pay for it. My mother politely told her no, on the basis that she divorced him 20 years ago and it’s not her responsibility.
She then proceeded to ask us siblings. We all said no, none of us could really afford to anyway. My argument was that if I was allowed to organize and make choices for the funeral then maybe, (as I would have made more affordable choices) and that she can’t demand to choose all the details and expect me to pay for it.
She called my mum ‘poison’ and that we were horrible people for making her pay for the funeral.
Are we the jerks?”
21. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Jacket To My Child?
“I (34 f) have 3 boys (between 4 yrs and 11 yrs) with my husband (34 m)… we also live in the midwest of the US. Right now the weather is very bipolar… every other day is hot or blistering snow.
Long story short, my kids and husband have a very bad habit of not grabbing a jacket when it’s cold outside, even after reminding them 100s of times in the past to grab a jacket before we leave the house.
Even on hot days, I’m reminding them to grab a jacket for fear it will turn chilly in the building or outside. On multiple occasions, I’ve had to sacrifice my jacket, to a kid or the hubs, and then I’m stuck uncomfortable, and freezing… usually I am happy too, and often make excuses for the kids about their maturity level, but lately, I’ve been getting unnerved.
So last week we went to a festival, in the early evening. I reminded my husband and kids to grab their coats, ‘just in case’… well my oldest child, who’s 11, left his jacket at home after he made a big whining stink fit about not wanting it, and that it was hot out… I told him I wasn’t giving him my jacket, under no circumstances… if he got cold, and he said ‘FIINNEE’.
It’s about 65 degrees/F out.
So, we get to the festival, everyone is having fun… IT begins… My oldest is bugging me for my jacket. Complaining and whining that he was cold. I proceed to remind him of our conversation earlier and he continues to complain, whine, and beg me for my jacket.
I reiterated what I said, and started to reprimand him for not being prepared properly, for not listening, and suggested that we could leave the festival early if he was so cold. The temp has dropped by 20 degrees/F.
The whole family chirps up, saying that they don’t want to leave the festival. My oldest’s complaints reach my husband (usually my husband has my back, but he’s also a cheapskate and hates wasting money… and the festival wasn’t exactly cheap); mind you he doesn’t have a jacket either and tries to urge me into giving my oldest my jacket.
I’m staying firm on my determination to keep my jacket, my husband states I am being a jerk for not putting my kids’ needs before my own. At that point, I was ticked and hurt. I feel like I’m unappreciated for all I have done for our family and the festival was no longer an enjoyable experience for me; I excused myself from my family and went to wait in our car.
Maybe 30 minutes later the family returned to our car and we proceeded to go home, while my husband was gripping and laying into me for ruining our family outing with my tantrum and not meeting our kids’ needs.
Am I wrong? It’s just a jacket now… what’s next, my kidney?
20. AITJ For Refusing To Give My Mother Full Control Of My Own Money?
“I’m a 15-year-old kid and I’ve been running a Fiverr business for about two years now and have accumulated over $3000 total. Over half of the things I own in my room were bought with funds I earned on my own. Now since I’m not at the legal age to own/manage a bank account (or at least in my country) my father helps out with the financial part (he’s not the bad guy in this situation) and recently I bought myself a used mid-level gaming PC (about $800) and for these past few months I rarely used it so I decided to sell it.
Now some parts of the PC I have upgraded and some of the existing parts have gotten rarer in my area so I drove up the price from the original 800 to 1000… I found a buyer willing to pay full price for the computer, and everything was going great until my mother found out about it.
This wasn’t intended to be a secret, but I just preferred to keep my business to myself.
On one hand, my father was proud of me for reaching into the business of reselling, but my mother was furious. She told me that she was greatly disappointed that I would talk to random strangers and sell my own things without consulting her first!
She kept yelling and gaslighting me about how I was irresponsible and whatnot, and then she threatened to remove all access to my bank account! I told her that it was still my money and that she had no right to do so. She said that if I didn’t comply with her rules, I should find somewhere else to live that ‘follow my rules’.
I really wish I made this up, but she made those remarks to me before with different situations, but this time it seemed like she really meant it… Am I the jerk because I don’t want to give my mother full control of all my hard-earned money?”
19. AITJ For Not Wanting To Take Care Of Mom's Baby?
“I (23 F) and moved back in with my single mother recently. My reason for moving back in was due to a bad breakup that led to me being homeless. Since I’ve been back, I’ve paid off her outstanding utility bills, taken on the responsibilities of caring for my younger siblings (again, excluding the newborn), and cared for the house.
Recently she gave birth. Before the baby arrived, my sister (22) and I told her that we would not take responsibility for this baby as we did for the other 4 siblings (still minors) in the past. She didn’t say anything then and we hoped it sunk in.
Now, for the past two weeks, as I have been working, my sister has been babysitting the baby as my mother goes off to work. Honestly, I don’t care if my sister wants to care for this baby but she has school (in college), is about to work, and also helps me care for the home.
So, last night, whilst joking around that my sister should claim the child on her taxes next year, my mom got angry. She and I got into a fight, ending up with her in tears. She claims that we are heartless for not wanting to watch the baby (for free, and all day) while she works to keep the house running but in truth, she doesn’t!
She doesn’t even care for her other 4 kids who still need to depend on others and the ones we are taking care of. I told her that she didn’t deserve my sympathy for the struggles she was going through because she chose to have another baby when she could barely take care of her existing children.
Since then, she’s told my extended family that I’m a cruel person and won’t watch the baby because I hate him. I don’t, quite honestly I adore him. I just don’t want to take care of her kids any more than I already am.
My grandma is currently blowing up my phone saying I’m a horrible daughter and person. AITJ?
Edit: I think it’s important that I elaborate on why I moved back in with my mother. I said homeless, but I was not without choices or options.
I moved back in with her mainly due to my siblings. My mom was in so much debt that the electricity, gas, and water bills were barely paid and were almost shut off once. I’m here to renovate her house, as well, for the sake of my siblings.
There is a huge hole in the kitchen floor that has slowly started expanding and growing mold. She literally just threw a plank of wood on top of it and called it good.
And again just to care for my siblings that have been disregarded by my mother.”
18. AITJ For Giving My Late Daughter's Gifts To Her Best Friend Instead Of Her Younger Siblings?
“My 13-year-old daughter died of brain cancer a couple of weeks before Christmas. She wasn’t doing well and we had assumed that this would be her last Christmas and birthday (her birthday is 4 days after Christmas) so a lot of her family, including my husband and I, went all out with presents this year.
She has a best friend (15) with leukemia. They were in the hospital at the same time a lot over the past few years and became very close very fast. They hung out every day and would play video games together, they learned how to dye hair (both of them wore wigs that were safe to dye), and how to do nail art and elaborate makeup looks.
Her family has also helped us a lot. The home-hospital teacher that the school district sent us was awful so her mom, who was a middle school teacher before her daughter got sick, taught her for free. She would either go to her room in the hospital or come to our house 3 days a week and teach her English, history, math, and science.
Her sisters (25 and 30) babysat for us for free multiple times when my husband and I needed a break.
She was going to spend Christmas and her birthday in the hospital this year so we had all of her presents in her hospital room. When she passed, we couldn’t bring her presents home knowing she wouldn’t be there to open them so we gave her presents to her best friend, who was also in the hospital at the time.
After Christmas, a couple of family members asked what happened to my daughter’s gifts. My husband and I answered truthfully and said that we couldn’t bring them home so we gave them to her best friend.
They were upset and said we should’ve given them to our younger kids (10 m and 8 f) because they bought those gifts for family.
I tried to explain that it was too hard for us to bring them home when she wouldn’t open them and then watch her siblings open her gifts but they didn’t believe me.
The gifts were expensive (my parents got her an iPad and my MIL and FIL got her a Nintendo Switch and games and her aunts and uncles got her hair dye, expensive makeup, and nail art supplies) and I can see why they’re upset so I wanted to know if I was the jerk.”
17. AITJ For Kicking My Brother And His Pregnant Wife Out?
“So I (30 m) have a (19 m) half-brother. He and his wife have been living with me since he got married in December because he and my mother had a falling out due to the fact he got married so young.
I’m not gonna sugarcoat it if I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t have let them move in.
Both he and his wife (19) are the worst house guests I’ve ever had. I say guests because they’re meant to be looking for work and a place of their own.
I’ve made it clear from the get-go that it was temporary because I’ve 4 children myself (7 f, 5 m, 3 f, 1 m) and my wife works from home.
Since they moved in they have complained about how loud mornings are and my cooking (I do all the cooking) because I rarely do anything spicy which my brother’s wife craves.
They’re messy and never pick up after themselves even moaned to my wife about never doing THEIR laundry nor making my brother’s wife snacks during the day.
They think my wife and I are their personal help/drivers then try and guilt us when we tell them ‘No’ on 4 a.m. McDonald’s runs or my brother’s wife’s rude comments but ‘Hehe we are too young to know better’.
It all came to a head this week when all our children were at home due to a bug going around nothing bad just schools/daycare in our area are extra careful. I couldn’t get the day off so unfortunately my wife had to deal with 6 children while trying to work
My brother and his wife demanded they all stay in one room and we get them take out so there were no germs near their food. When my wife told them they should cook for once because she is extremely busy they filled out calling her a heartless jerk for making a 5-month pregnant woman cook for 8 people and my brother clean while he was trying to sort out ‘business’,
It got to the point of them screaming at my wife and my kids crying my wife had an anxiety attack.
I rushed home when I got an SOS text but my brother was waiting at the door crying about ‘not being our slave’ and how his pregnant wife was starving.
When I got to my wife’s office and she explained everything I saw red. I told them they had 30 days to get out of my house and it was time they faced the real world.
They both tried to argue with me explaining none of them could drive and that my brother still hadn’t got a job I said I didn’t care.
My brother’s wife said that they’d end up homeless and that if anything happened to my niece it was all my fault. I told her she could give birth in an alley for all I cared and she started crying and calling me a heartless jerk.
I explained my situation to my sister and she called me a bad jerk for being so heartless to two teenagers but I asked her when she was letting them move in she hung up.
I’ve had multiple social media posts made about me and angry phone calls from since then from my sister’s husband and my brother’s friends.”
16. WIBTJ If I Sell My Ring Without Telling My Partner?
“My (F 35) partner (M 34) and I have been together for over 5 years and largely have a good relationship. We have discussed marriage and we do want to get married eventually when we get settled in a home of our own.
A couple of years ago, we had a serious discussion and decided we would begin making loose plans.
I was excited and began researching engagement rings online. I found a design that I really liked and asked a local jeweler to design something similar. My partner was fully aware I was doing this at the time. I put a deposit down on a ring (partner aware), presuming my partner would help me pay off the balance.
It was never brought up again and eventually, the jeweler became impatient and demanded payment for the ring (totally fair), which I paid in full on my own. The ring was delivered to our house and has been sitting in a parcel in a cupboard since March 2021.
I have asked my partner a few times about it and he says he is waiting to ask my father for permission. I thought this was sweet at the time, but now he has had countless interactions with my father in the intervening time, and not once has he asked my father about asking to marry me.
I turned 35 in the last couple of weeks and it brought on a lot of feelings of missed milestones. I know it’s silly but I can’t help but feel duped. I understand if he isn’t ready and that’s fine, but why let me go through with designing and paying the deposit for my dream ring if he has no intention of asking me?
I am also super embarrassed because I told two of my very close friends at the time that ‘we’ had bought a ring, and now, over two years later, nothing has happened.
Therefore, WIBTJ if I took the ring parcel from the cupboard, sold it online without telling my partner?
I wouldn’t even want to wear it now even if he DID ask because I associate the ring with embarrassment.”
15. AITJ For Taking Some Amount From My Son's Salary For His College Fund?
“My son turned 18 in March. I’ve always taken out a percentage of his pay to put aside for his college fund. Most likely he’ll be in college this fall, and that’s when I’m going to put the saved funds back into his account. Until then, I plan to hold it.
It’s something my son has known about since he started working at 15, and he didn’t have any issues with it.
To teach him to budget by experience, with the safety net of me and his mom still being around, since he’s turned 18 I’ve put him in charge of paying for his own food.
Fairly low stakes, and since he works evening shifts now most likely he would have had to start handling his food situation himself anyway.
It was working fine, with no complaints from him, but the other day we got into a big argument over it.
Started with me finding him really wasted when he got home. He tried to hide it from me, saying he was just tired, long day at work, etc. But I’ve been around the block and I know a wasted person when I see one. I asked him why he’d been drinking and he said he always drank a beer after work, but today he bought two bottles since they were on sale.
I asked him why he was spending his money on booze when he should be budgeting it for his food.
He got kind of annoyed and said he only has enough budget to buy himself breakfast due to how much I’m taking out of his paychecks, and since beer is cheap at the corner store he just drinks after work.
I get he doesn’t make that much money but I doubt it’s so little he can’t pay for three meals a day. I told him he needed to start budgeting better and he said I needed to stop ‘stealing’ his money.
I reminded him the money wasn’t going to me, it was literally going to be his money when he goes to college.
He got all snarky and said, oh maybe I don’t wanna go to college maybe I wanna eat. I should’ve just let the conversation go but we just got into a huge argument over whether he should have the money or not. I reminded him we’d already agreed the money was going to be saved and that I wasn’t backing down since he’s likely going to college in just a few months now.
I thought maybe he was just being obstinate because he was wasted, but even the next morning he was still mad over it. AITJ for saving a percentage of his paycheck for college? It’s not like we’re rich, the money isn’t going to come out of nowhere.”
14. AITJ For Telling My Wife To Stop Trying To Please My Mom?
“I have been married to my wife for two years and the best way to describe my mother is cold.
She is not rude or anything. She’s just disinterested in my wife.
The best way I can explain my mom is that she is tired. She had a really hard life, doesn’t have much affection left to give and she rarely gets close to anyone.
It’s pure disinterest and she can’t bring herself to care about new people. She’s a retired old lady who just wants to sit on the porch not make small talk with people. I’ve explained this to my wife before and told my mother’s story.
We had a little get-together at my mom’s house. My mom doesn’t like it when people bring food, she works all day to make a spread and it’s like her thing. She just wants to provide for the guests. My wife came from work and she brought food, potato salad.
I stopped her from bringing it in, the whole night she was just bothering her when she was on the porch. Asking her if she wants to go on a shopping trip when my mom asks for some quiet she still talks on. When I was walking by she asked me to take my wife away from her.
This made my wife upset but I did it since I could see mom was getting close to the end of her rope.
We had a talk in the car about what that was all about, and she just wanted to be loved by her MIL.
She is being nice so she doesn’t get why she doesn’t like her. I told her my mother would never love her and to just stop. What she is doing is actively making her dislike you and to leave the woman alone. She called me a jerk and hasn’t spoken to me since.
Edit: Almost never, most of the time if people join her on the porch it’s very little small talk or just join her watching the garden. She doesn’t care how loud they are in the house or anything like that. She likes watching others have a good time, more of an observer than anything
She asked for quiet with my wife since she was just going on for a while. My sister was out there and told me mom tried politer ways to ask for her to be quiet and it didn’t work. Also, the direct request didn’t work with my wife and she kept going.”
13. AITJ For Telling Roommate About My Friend's Partner's Attitude?
“I (27) have a friend, Natalie, who has a partner, Jamie. Jamie is a complete jerk. He’s one of those people who makes bellow-the-belt jokes and then calls you sensitive if you don’t find it funny. In the 18 months I have known him he has called Natalie fat, ‘average’, boring to her face too many times to count.
He has called many of our mutual friends rude and demeaning things and has purposefully antagonized me on many occasions. We all put up with him because if we don’t we’d never see Natalie but he really is the butt of every joke, and a walking cliché.
My roommate Harry recently had a job come up in his company that Natalie asked him to interview Jamie for. Harry is part of our wider friendship group (his friend is going out with one of the girls in our group), and has met Jamie but has not really spent much time with him so thought he was an alright guy.
I decided to keep out of it because I know Jamie has been unemployed for a while and it has really affected Natalie. However, when Harry mentioned he was going to do the interview at our apartment, he could see I was uncomfortable. I didn’t mention anywhere near the extent of Jamie’s behavior, just said he’d made a couple of demeaning remarks to/about me and I wasn’t overly keen on being around when he was.
I told Harry not to do anything about this, and that he should hire the best person for the job.
Harry went through with the interview, but he made Jamie do a lot of prep work and a presentation to other employees and then made the interview extremely long for no reason.
Then at the end, he said he wasn’t going to hire him. Jamie got mad at Natalie over it and she got mad at me, saying I shouldn’t have said anything about Jamie knowing how great the job would be and how hard it is to get jobs in the field.
On top of that, I should have been sensitive to his unemployment and that I’m ignorant of how difficult the job market is.
She’s now not speaking to me, and our friends are divided. Two think I shouldn’t have said anything, because Jamie really needs the work and ultimately it would have been helping Natalie.
One friend thinks it’s fair that I expressed not wanting Jamie in my home, and that I owed it to Harry to tell him because Jamie is an HR problem waiting to happen.
On the one hand, yes, his off-the-clock behavior shouldn’t cost Jamie a job, but on the other hand, why should I have to cover up for the way Jamie is?
If honesty makes him look bad then maybe that’s his problem. Then again, I guess it was some pretty petty antics that had real-life consequences so maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m not sure whether I should apologize.”
12. AITJ For Wanting To Have The Military Flag From My Grandpa's Funeral?
“Growing up my dad was a very proud service member. One reason he was like that was because his dad (my grandpa) was also a service member and Dad was following in his footsteps.
I was so fascinated by all their military gear, and I remember as a little girl just sitting in his office and looking over everything for hours. It’s something I always think about when I remember growing up.
My dad took a hard hit when my grandpa died when I was 6.
I have some great memories of the two of them, from what I can actually remember.
When I was 8 my parents divorced and my dad remarried. My stepmom had 4 kids already, including one boy, I’ll call him Steve. When Steve grew up he joined the service as well.
Recently, my stepmom has been dividing up my dad’s things. (My dad is not dead, she’s just weird). My dad had two military flags: one from my grandpa’s funeral and one that flew over his post when he was deployed. My stepmom said he gave BOTH flags to Steve ‘out of respect for his service.’ Now the flag flying over the post I understand and I’m okay with that, but the one from my grandpa’s funeral I think I (or one of my blood siblings) should have gotten.
Steve never even met my grandpa as he had passed years before he was in our lives. I told my stepmom that wasn’t appropriate and it wasn’t right he got both flags and that I wanted Steve to return the funeral flag so I could have it.
Now she’s calling me a selfish jerk and that I never accepted them as a family (it’s been 30 years and she’s still using this line). She’s refusing to ask him to return the flag and she said by asking for it to be returned I only caused my dad heartache.
So AITJ for asking for the flag?”
11. AITJ For Taking My Daughters On A Shopping Spree?
“My husband has 2 girls from a previous marriage – Addison (12) and Madeline (9). He and his ex broke up when she was pregnant with Madeline and we started going out shortly after. I have been in the girls’ lives since Addison was 3 and Madeline was 6 months.
We have primary custody during the school year. During the summer, they do 3 weeks with us, and 1 week at their bio mom’s house.
Their bio mom has a 10-year-old stepdaughter, Lauren, who can be a bit of a bully. Madeline is very shy and has some sensory issues and minor developmental and speech delays so she’s seen as an easy target for Lauren.
All 3 girls share a room so Madeline doesn’t really have an escape from Lauren.
The last time I picked the girls up, Madeline ran to me and said that Lauren took a lot of her clothes and toys and wouldn’t give them back. Their bio mom said Madeline gave them to Lauren but Addison confirmed that Lauren did take them from Madeline.
I was able to get a couple of things back, like her favorite pajamas and stuffed animal but Lauren and their bio mom wouldn’t give anything else back.
Their bio mom’s house is very close to two very nice malls. I think it’s also important to mention that my husband and I are much more well-off than their bio mom and her husband.
When Lauren and the girls’ bio mom wouldn’t give the rest of Maddie’s stuff back, I promised the girls a shopping spree at the nearby malls. Lauren said she wanted to come, but I told her that she just got a lot of new clothes and toys so she doesn’t need to go.
She gave a lot more of Maddie’s stuff back and asked if I could take her now but the answer was still no.
Lauren threw a temper tantrum and the girls’ bio mom decided I was no longer welcome at her house and that she would only release the girls to their dad (which is against the custody order).
My husband is defending me to their bio mom but he is saying I was petty and I shouldn’t have done that.”
10. AITJ For Bringing A Cheap Gift To Thanksgiving?
“Over Thanksgiving last year I (26 F) was invited by a friend (25 F) to a Thanksgiving party at one of her friends’ house (30 M). I had never met him and didn’t know much about him other than he was a server at a local restaurant.
It was not Thanksgiving Dinner, just a get-together the day before. I was raised to bring something with me when going to someone’s house for a gathering, so I brought a nice-ish ($25) bottle of wine with me.
When I got there multiple people approached me and asked me why I would bring such cheap wine when the parents of the host owned a vineyard.
I had no clue they owned a vineyard, my friend hadn’t mentioned it. Even the host told me it was silly of me to bring.
My friend told me the wine would probably sit on a shelf for ten years and then be thrown out if it wasn’t thrown out the next day.
That no one in that house would ever consider drinking it. I have no clue why she didn’t tell me this when she picked me up at home. I was clearly holding a bottle of wine.
I put the bottle on the table with the drinks and no one opened it all night.
At the end of the evening when we were leaving, I grabbed the bottle and took it with me.
I know this would be considered rude at a normal party and I would have never dreamed of taking with with me. But because multiple people had been mean to me, including the host, about how I should have known better and made me feel incredibly embarrassed for even bringing wine, I decided to not let it go to waste as for me a $25 bottle is quite expensive.
My friend recently told me that she was going to a party and if she invited me I had to promise not to embarrass her by ‘bringing cheap wine and then taking it home at the end’. She said it was a jerk move and even if I knew no one should drink it I should have left it.
I can see both sides. Like I said, I never would have taken it home at really any other party. Multiple people told me the wine would never be opened and I was silly to bring it. So I took it home.
Okay, am I the jerk?”
9. AITJ For Not Helping My Ex Pay Her Rent?
“I (33 M) started talking to my ex (27 F) after 6 years.
She was separating from her partner & moving out of the house they rented.
Our conversations were innocent enough. Catching up, reminiscing, NOTHING INTIMATE. Everything seemed great & I thought we were re-connecting.
A week later, I asked if she wanted to meet. She agreed & I was excited. I made reservations at a restaurant I knew she would like & texted her to confirm.
She replied ‘IT’S A DATE’. I got to the restaurant, texted her ‘I’m here’ & asked for her ETA. NO RESPONSE. I messaged, texted, & called her. NO RESPONSE. I waited in my car wondering what was going on. Is she hurt? Is her battery dead?
Any excuse I could think of to justify this behavior. After an hour of waiting I went home.
The next morning I woke up to texts from her apologizing for not showing up, but no explanation. I asked if she was okay. She replied she was fine & changed the topic.
We kept talking after that & I once again asked her to meet. She said she would love to. This time, I didn’t drive to the restaurant until I got confirmation, but that confirmation never came.
The next morning it’s Deja Vu. Apology texts, but no explanations.
Through our conversations, I learned that she’s in financial trouble. I told her that if things go well between us I’d be happy to help, but seeing as how she’s living with her EX, I haven’t seen her in 6 years & she’s bailed on me multiple times, I would need to regain my trust for her.
She replied – ‘I don’t need a sugar daddy. I’m capable of taking care of myself.’
Skip to a week later, I got a call at 2 a.m. from her asking if she could come over. I said yes. She showed up, we had some wine and made out for a bit and I was overjoyed thinking that we may actually have another chance at this relationship.
Before she left I asked if we could do this again. She said she would love to.
The next day, she asked if I could drop her off at the airport. I said yes! The day arrived when I was supposed to drop her off and ONCE AGAIN… NOTHING.
I heard back from her 2 days later claiming she broke her phone.
SHE DID THIS 4 MORE TIMES.
This is the part where I may be the jerk. Two days ago she sent me a screenshot of an email she received from her landlord claiming they are starting eviction proceedings.
I replied, ‘I’m sorry this is happening.’ The following morning she sent me a message calling me a jerk for not offering to pay her rent. I replied that she had bailed every time we were supposed to hang out, all we did was text, & I didn’t trust her based on her past behavior.
After calling me names & arguing with me she said, ‘IF YOU REALLY CARED ABOUT ME, THEN YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN MONEY, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.’ I thought that a was a ridiculous statement! My friends & family are on my side. But a coworker mentioned that it seems like my ex is struggling & if I in fact did want some kind of romantic relationship, I should have helped.
Now I’m feeling kind of guilty so I ask, AITJ for not paying my ex’s rent?”
8. AITJ For Waking My Nephew Up Using A Squirt Bottle For My Cats?
“My nephew, Michael, just finished his sophomore year and is fifteen years old. Due to circumstances that I would rather not discuss, I am Michael’s legal guardian at the moment.
The only real issue I’ve had with Michael is the fight to get him out of bed every morning on time for school.
I made him set an alarm on his phone, but he just about always would turn it off and then sleep in. I would try putting Ravioli, my cat, on his chest, but Michael would just swat her away.
I learned that my sister would oftentimes let Michael lay in until it was eleven, then drop him off at school and lie that she had car troubles so it would be an excused late arrival. It took me throwing off his blankets and physically dragging him out of bed by his foot for Michael to get up.
I was running late for work one morning, and Michael was refusing to get up again. I didn’t have time to drag Michael out of bed and I told him this. Michael was not budging, so I grabbed a squirt bottle that I used to house-train my cats, filled it in the sink, and then squirted Michael with it until he got up.
He got out of bed and ran to the bathroom in under thirty seconds. A huge improvement from ten minutes of playing tug-of-war with Michael. I started to use the spray bottle every morning until he actually started using his alarm and getting up on time.
I and Michael were visiting my cousin, Lucinda, and Michael made a joke like ‘I don’t want Uncle Shaun to spray me again.’ Lucinda asked for elaboration, then scolded me on the way home, saying that using the squirt bottle was ‘demeaning’ to Michael and that I was treating my nephew like an animal.
I don’t see it that way at all. I simply can’t drag him out of bed every morning. If we were both a decade younger, it might have been possible. But Michael’s fifteen and a big kid at that. Plus, now he’s getting up on his own.
AITJ for using a squirt bottle for cats on Michael?”
7. AITJ For Refusing To Talk To My Dad's Wife At My Sister's Wedding?
“I (30 M) went to my sister’s (32 F) wedding ceremony where my father (58 M) came with his wife (45 F). This was the first time I met his wife since they got married. When I talked to my father, he asked me to greet and talk to his wife.
I immediately refused to do that and I showed him a disgusted face when he mentioned that.
My father was visibly upset with me during the ceremony but didn’t say anything back then. However, he gave me a call and berated me later that day for disrespecting his wife.
He called me an ungrateful son and questioned why couldn’t I respect his wife like my sister does and why I treated his wife differently from my mom’s husband. To which I simply responded that respect should be earned not demanded.
As a background, my father divorced my mom (59 F) after having an affair for more than 5 years with his current wife who used to be his personal assistant.
The whole affair really messed up my mom’s mental health and I completely blame my father and his wife for it. My mom has since remarried with a guy she met after the divorce had been finalized.
As for my sister, she actually hates our father’s wife as much as I do.
But she sucked it up and tries to act normal around her for the wedding ceremony because she has to have our father in the ceremony because in our religion/culture the consent of the bride’s ‘guardian’ is required for the ceremony and he refused to give the consent if my sister does not respect his wife.
I admit that I could have been more tactful with that, but I cannot forgive both of them for hurting my mom badly. I only show my father some respect because he’s still my father and I owe a lot of the stuff I have now to him.
AITJ in this situation?”
6. AITJ For Being Mad That I'm Not Part Of My Friend's Wedding Party?
“So one of my closest friends is getting married next month, and for the last year or so I’ve been waiting for him to ask me to be a groomsman. Time rolls around and I’m booking a hotel and I see on their registry website there’s a link to the wedding party, I click it and see 2 of our mutual friends, his brother, and 2 other friends we went to high school with, and 1 of his friends from college.
I’m not on there.
I reached out to him and told him that this kinda hit me by surprise a bit (up until this point I had considered him one of my best friends). I didn’t ask why or how, I just told him I wanted to talk about it at some point to clear the air moving forward.
He proceeded to tell me that his best man (one of our mutuals) was meant to ‘represent me’ and he didn’t want to ask more than one person from our friend group and exclude anyone. The kicker here is that another one of the groomsmen is from that friend group.
He told me he felt closer to me than some of the people he had picked as groomsmen, but I feel like if that were the case I would be in the wedding. I spent hours today crying about the whole situation because I felt not only forgotten about but crapped on by him in response.
Long story short, I told him I wished I would’ve found out from him and not his website, and that it sucked to find out that way after (in my mind) having no reason to think I wouldn’t be in the wedding for over a year.
In addition to that, his wedding is the day after my 2-year anniversary with my partner, and I feel like knowing the next day I’ll have to go to this wedding and feel sad and awkward the whole time will make my own special day worse, and I’m debating just not going to it at all.
5. AITJ For Being Angry At My Sister And Cutting Her Out Of My Bridal Party?
“I (27 F) got engaged to my fiancé (34 M) right before 2020 and due to the global crisis, our wedding experienced delay after delay. But FINALLY we have begun planning and are aiming at a mid-May 24 wedding.
My mother asked me if I could include my SIL in my bridal party because after marrying my brother moved several states away and has expressed feeling isolated without family around.
I could understand so I agreed.
BUT my SIL has been nothing short of a nightmare. My bridesmaids all assisted in handwriting and sending out our wedding invitations, but the ones my SIL helped with all had zero invitations inside and instead was an empty envelope (I know they were hers because everyone had different shades of pink envelopes to go from).
She also took the longest at our makeup and hair consultations even extending her appointment an hour (to which I was charged — I am covering her expenses as she is a stay-at-home mom and I know things are tight right now) because she could not agree with the stylist on what makeup she wanted.
But the final straw came when I found the dress of my dreams. The only problem was I was 15 pounds too heavy for it and I bawled my eyes out because I knew this was the dress for me. Everyone was encouraging and I still had plenty of time to lose 15 pounds and come back for fitting etc. so I agreed and said yes to the dress.
When I got home that night I noticed on my SIL’s Instagram that she had posted a picture to her Instagram of me in the dress ugly crying and I was absolutely livid. My fiancé has already seen the Instagram picture and I am devastated, he was not supposed to see me in the dress until our wedding day and I know so many more people have seen it!
I could not help myself I called her and exploded adding that she was not going to be in my bridal party and that she had ruined my wedding. My mother has called me and told me that even though she understands I lacked compassion and have severely hurt my SIL’s feelings.
She asked if I could find it in my heart to forgive but I told her even if I did that I still would not include her in my party. AITJ?”
4. AITJ For Cropping My Brother-In-Law Out Of A Picture?
“My whole family (my parents and all my siblings with their spouses and kids) recently took a trip to Greece together. We don’t all get together too often, so it was a nice occasion for all of us.
On the second to last day there, my parents and I got up early to have breakfast outside, and my brother-in-law was awake too so he ate with us. We were staying at a country inn, so it was pretty rustic, and halfway through breakfast a herd of goats came wandering out of a nearby olive grove and surrounded us at our table.
The owner of the inn took a picture of us, smiling and laughing as we tried to keep the goats away from our food.
The lighting in the picture is perfect, and it’s just full of so much dynamic movement and joy. It’s my favorite picture from the trip, except for one thing – my brother-in-law looks BAD.
I’m not trying to judge him for looking bad – he had stayed up late with a couple of my siblings the night before drinking heavily. He hadn’t showered yet, so his hair was a mess, and he was unshaven. To top it off, he had what looked like some jelly on his nose.
I decided to crop him out of the picture (it was pretty easy to do, as the backdrop behind him was just the blue sky.) I didn’t feel bad doing it, in fact, I felt like I was doing him a favor. If I looked that bad in a picture, I would definitely want to be photoshopped out of it if possible.
Anyway, my sister told me that he saw the picture on social media and got mad. Apparently, that was his favorite memory from the trip, and now he feels like my parents and I didn’t want him there. I sent her the original picture as a way of explanation, but she says that’s not the point.
Now he’s threatening to skip Thanksgiving.
3. WIBTJ If I Refuse To But Out My Dad's Widow's Share Of The House?
“A year after our mother (F 61) passed away, our father (M 66) asked his adult children’s – F 40, F 36, F 33 (me) – blessing to remarry. We ultimately wanted him to be happy, so we agreed. But we asked that he leave his house to us, as it is our childhood home, and we didn’t feel comfortable with it going to another family.
As far as the timing of the remarriage, my sisters suspect there could possibly have been some infidelity, but I do not.
My father passed away after a short battle with illness, and it turns out willed the house to the four of us – a widow (F 60) and three children – in equal shares.
I can only speculate why he decided to leave a share to his widow, after promising not to. My suspicion is that he was worried we would turn her out on the street, despite the fact we assured him nothing like that would happen. As it is, we’ve been helpful in assisting her with getting set up with the rest of her inheritance (material items, contents of his bank accounts, life insurance payout, pension, etc.), which sets her up to live comfortably the rest of her life.
His widow decided early on that she no longer wished to live in our father’s house and wanted us to buy out her share. She is standing firm at roughly 1.1 times the number she would most likely get if we sold the house and split the profit.
We were going to cave and pay her that much, when the estate attorney found a deed filed when my mother was still alive, leaving the house solely to us. Every lawyer we’ve consulted with says that the deed trumps the will by the letter of the law and that his widow is facing an uphill battle if she contests it.
Would we be jerks if we didn’t pay her anything for her share of the house? My sisters are firm that that’s the route they want to go, whereas I’m conflicted. His widow is set up for life even without being paid one-quarter share of the house, and I honestly don’t think my father ever intended for her to get a payout from it anyway.
At the same time, it’s a huge amount she’d basically be getting screwed out of, and she’s never done anything to us to warrant being treated coldly, other than playing hardball at negotiations.”
2. AITJ For Not Wanting My Son To Go On A Trip To Alaska With His Mom's New Partner?
“Recently, my 13-year-old son asked if he could miss one of our weekends together. He had been invited by his mom’s partner to go with him and his sons to Alaska for a week.
Legally I am entitled to custody of him every other weekend and he is my only child who still regularly attends these visits.
My oldest two sons (21 & 19) rarely make the time to see me anymore and my two daughters (17 & 15) seem to be busy with their own things and recently I’ve only been seeing them every other month. My youngest child is the only one who is normally very happy to spend the weekend with me.
Their mom and I separated in 2016 and in early 2021 she started seeing her new partner. From my viewpoint, the kids seem to like him, and he also has four kids of his own (with three different women). My youngest son particularly seems to enjoy spending time with him, and he likes to tell me some of the things they get up to together.
I can admit I occasionally feel jealous of him bonding with another man so easily.
When my son brought up the trip to Alaska, he told me his mom had agreed to let him go as long as I also allowed it because the trip was scheduled for one of my weekends.
I told him no for several reasons.
Firstly, I do not know the guy all that well and don’t feel comfortable leaving my son in his company. You may argue that my ex does know him well, but I can’t say I 100% trust her judgment in men.
I have heard some unsavory things from mutual friends about her partner.
Secondly, from what I understand some parts of the trip could be dangerous and too physically exhausting for my son who isn’t used to some of the activities. They will be hiking, survival camping, white water rafting, and hiking glaciers.
This all sounds fun sure but also dangerous. I worry about him being in situations he could potentially be badly hurt especially as neither parent will be with him.
Finally, I hate to say it, but I am legally entitled to this weekend, and he needs to learn he can’t just bail on things he’s committed to because something better came up.
If I don’t see him that weekend, it will be a whole month before I get to see him again because I doubt his mom will let me rearrange to the next weekend.
He was upset but seemed to understand where I was coming from.
He sulked for the rest of the day before he went home. His mom texted me asking if I was serious about my decision and assured her I was and listed out my reasons for why. She told me I would regret my choice and that I was being a jerk to our son.
My mom also thinks I might end up regretting this decision, however, I’m confident that he’ll quickly get over it. I’m going to make sure my son and I have a great time that weekend and I’m sure there will be other trips he can go on with the guy in the future with his mom present or when he’s older.”
1. AITJ For Snooping Into My Daughter's Stuff While She's Asleep?
“I (49 F) have a 17-year-old daughter. Throughout middle and high school, she has had some problems with smoking. I have gone through her room and belongings on several occasions when she has not been home to try and make sure she is not doing anything illegal, and most of the time, I don’t find anything, but I can never be too sure.
She is over a month into her senior year and has really let her grades slip (she is normally a straight-A AP student, but she has several Bs in the grade book right now). I am very disappointed in her, as this is her senior year and she should not be screwing around like this.
Last night, while she was asleep, I decided to go through her room, because I figured if her grades were this poor, she must be misbehaving. I looked through her drawers and closet, but I couldn’t find anything so I decided to look through her phone.
To do this, I had to get on her bed and reach over her, as she sleeps with it by her pillow facing the wall. While grabbing her phone, I saw her wallet and decided to look through that too. I gave up on looking through her phone because I couldn’t figure out her password, so I opened her wallet and started looking through it.
In her wallet, I found an empty vape pod and saw red.
I woke her up at about 5:30 and confronted her about it. She told me that she didn’t even know it was in her wallet and that she didn’t even understand why I was mad because I knew she quit months ago.
She then asked me why I was even going through her stuff in the middle of the night, especially since she gave me no reason to, and then she said I was a jerk and completely betrayed her trust.
So AITJ for going through my daughter’s room while she was sleeping?”