People Get Vulnerable About Their 'Am I The Jerk' Stories

"I (24f) have a sister we'll call Peggy. (15f). Peggy and I made plans to go to the mall today. As soon as she sat down in my car, I was hit with super strong perfume. A minute later I started sneezing, my eyes watering, and got a headache.

I rolled down my windows to allow airflow but it was still bothering me (it's also winter here and freezing outside).

I'm extremely sensitive to smells like cologne/perfume and too much in an environment triggers a migraine. In the past, I've asked Peggy to be conscious of this and not to spray a ton before I pick her up in my car.

I was still parked in the driveway and informed Peggy that her perfume was bothering me and asked her politely to change her clothes. I explained my symptoms and she got upset and said, "Deal with it, it'll go away eventually." I told her it doesn't go away, it soaks into my car seat covers and lingers.

Then she huffed, got out, slammed my door, and walked inside.

Our mom was in the driveway and heard/witnessed this and I informed her of the situation. Peggy comes back out with a different shirt but the same jacket. She gets back in my car and the perfume is still strong and coming from her jacket (it's a soft jacket that absorbs smell).

I asked her if she could change her jacket as well and bring a winter coat. She got defensive and said no.

Our mom explained that sensitivity is not a small thing and that we needed to talk and work it out. I explained to Peggy that strong smells trigger migraines.

She said, "I'm not changing, I look cute today and don't want to look ugly." I tried explaining more but Peggy cut me off several times, made assumptions, and said things like, "She's making a huge deal out of it." And, "You always do this."

I told Peggy I no longer wanted to take her to the mall and told her to get out of my car. She did call me a jerk and I left, driving with windows down. I have a headache from the smell and need to have a better conversation with her.

Is she right? AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ I have issues with certain chemicals used in perfumes and soaps. My sister has it WAY worse than I do. I won't walk into a Bath and Bodyworks shop, and those ladies passing out soap samples in the mall that get in your face can F right off." KronkLaSworda

Another User Comments:

"NTJ - You already made your sensitivity and conditions for riding in the car. She chose to blatantly ignore it. If she wants to go to the mall with you, she needs to be conscious of your needs and your rules for riding in the car.

She’s 15 and I get that she liked her outfit, but she chose to make the clothes smell with her perfume. I don’t understand why she couldn’t take her perfume in her purse, and just spritz a little on in the parking lot of the mall. That way she’d smell perfumed in the mall, but it’d likely air out and not be as strong by the time you both drove back together. She also needs to learn that a little goes a long way!" CrimsonKnight_004

Another User Comments:

"NTJ - she needed a favor and didn’t want to meet a simple condition.

Those consequences are hers to take. She tried to pull a power move by taking over your space with her scent (lots of people treat their scent as a way of dominating a space, which sucks if you’re sensitive) and it backfired when you didn’t give in. She learned something; you don’t have to feel bad about that." redcore4