People Want Us To Be Truthful In Weighing Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
36. WIBTJ If I Allow My Daughter To Host A Prom After-Party?
“My daughter Anna (16) was banned from her school prom. The school alleged that she and her friends were bullying another girl because Anna liked a boy the girl was friends with.
That’s not Anna’s version of events and I believe my daughter. The other girl was jealous of Anna because she liked her friend, which is how this all started. I’ve had the school threaten to call the police on my daughter and get her a criminal record, which would ruin her life.
Because of these allegations, several of Anna’s friends were suspended and Anna was expelled, but she was allowed to come back to school for her exams.
Anna has completed her exams, but won’t know the results until next month. However, her grades for her practice exams were the highest in her year.
She got an offer from somewhere very selective for her A Levels if she can match or exceed those grades for her actual results. Her ambition is to study medicine at Oxford in a couple of years and we all think she could achieve it.
Anna has been dreaming about prom for years. She picked out the most beautiful dress and was crying her eyes out when it turned out she couldn’t go. She still wanted to wear the dress so she asked if she could host an after-party at our place for her friends and others from the school.
Because I am proud of her for doing so well academically, I said yes.
My husband, who works abroad, wasn’t happy. He doesn’t believe the bullying allegations either, but he thinks that having a bunch of teenagers running around the house is dangerous.
I understand his concerns but she’s been dreaming about this night for years and this is her only way to have it. I think it will be OK as long as we lay some ground rules and make sure nobody is drinking or doing illegal stuff.
Anna has been waiting for this for a long time, and with her grades she has more than earned it. I think it’s a fair thing to do to let her have the party.”
35. AITJ For Telling My Mom Off And Calling My Ex A Lazy And Abusive Piece Of Crap?
“I (now f 19) was in an arranged engagement with my ex-fiancé (now m 19) for six months after graduation.
We had been forcefully together for three years before that. I eventually called it off as he was a woman beater and believed women were dirt compacted to men and he refused to ‘let’ me go to college besides the fact that I got a full-ride scholarship and I most definitely am my own person.
My parents were furious so I moved out as soon as possible and went to college literally across the country.
I am now in my college dorm well over a year later writing this laughing my butt off with my roommate over my mother bringing this up and telling me I should apologize to and get back with my ex-fiancé.
My mother called me a week ago and told me my ex-fiancé was still not over me. He was unable to be in a healthy relationship because he loved me and his whole life went to crap because I left him.
He shouldn’t put his failures on me because I left him. He would have an affair, lie, and mistreat me on a regular basis. So I told my mother that he was a no-good jerk who didn’t deserve anything good, I also said that if my mother or anyone in my family ever called me to tell me his failures were my fault again I would cut off all contact with all of them.
I then proceeded to kind of yell at her over the phone about how I have to go to therapy because of him and how he ruined a part of me that I will never get back. But he can get his part of life back if he gets off his butt and stops being a lazy abusive piece of work.
My mother told my whole family and my ex about what I said. Now I have people calling me telling me I am a spoiled girl who’s ruining someone’s life because I don’t agree with their relationship views but I also have my siblings who are siding with me and said they will also cut off contact if my family continues to put me at fault for his bad choices.
So am I the jerk for telling my mom off and calling my ex a lazy abusive piece of crap?”
34. AITJ For Telling My Brother To Start Providing For His Family?
“I (16 F) live with my parents and my four younger siblings, and my older brother is now 20. My parents don’t make much money so I’ve always been self-conscious when it comes to spending money.
My parents are never can say no to my brother. My brother is a college dropout and makes less money than my parents. 3 months ago, he came back home unexpectedly with his partner and announced that they were expecting (she was 6 months) and would be living with us for a short while.
I was completely okay with that.
My brother’s partner comes from a wealthy family and she has been cast aside for being pregnant without being married, she’s used to spending a lot on money. She is taking online classes and both she and my brother have student debt so they asked my parents to host a gender reveal party.
The problem was that she wanted a big party and a big party = more money spent. My parents worked extra to get enough budget for the party.
In the 8th month, my brother started planning a surprise baby shower and the cost was a lot I decided that I was going to tell my parents to get my brother to pay for it but forgot to as I was also very busy.
A few days pass and I am getting ready to drop my younger sisters to school when I see a permission form for a field trip my sister wanted to go on. I asked my sister why she didn’t ask my parents to pay and she said that my brother had told her that the funds were needed for HIS unborn child.
I was mad but I paid for the trip out of my college savings.
That same day, I went to have a talk with my brother, where I told him that our parents were struggling with finances and it was not fair what he was doing to his siblings just for her partner and unborn child.
I told him that he needed to grow up and start using his money responsibly and start providing for HIS family. He seemed okay with what I said but the next day my parents called me over and told me that my brother’s partner was having a hard time and having this baby shower would be good for her and that I too should put in money to help her and her unborn baby as this would be my responsibility when I was an aunt.
I told them that if they really wanted to throw another party make it a smaller, less expensive one.
A few days passed and I noticed my younger brother eating less. When I questioned him, he told me is was saving the food to last longer so my parents could spend less on food.
This was the last straw for me and I gathered my parents and my brother and his partner and practically yelled at them to see what they were doing to my younger siblings and to be more self-conscious. Now only my dad talks to me (he sees that they are spending too much money).
My brother and I have the same friends and now everyone is divided on whose side to take. Some friends are calling me a jerk for not supporting my brother and his partner. Some are calling me selfish.”
33. AITJ For Not Wanting To Take Care Of My Parents' Dog?
“My parents have a 5-year-old Yorkshire Terrier that they treat better than most humans get treated. The dog has sampled lobster, is not made to go outdoors to go to the bathroom (despite both of my parents being fully capable of taking the dog out), and gets whisked away to the vet every time anything appears to be potentially off with her.
Since they got their dog as a puppy, my parents have asked my partner and me to come to their home to watch the dog whenever they go out of town overnight. Sometimes we are paid a small amount of cash (far less than what they would pay for a kennel to take the dog) or sometimes they will load their freezer with a small amount of expensive steak, shrimp, etc for us to eat while we’re there.
My partner and I are also parents to two grade-school-aged children, so we are very busy with our family. I have one younger sibling who is also married with children of their own. My sibling has never been asked to stay over and watch the dog.
We have an extended family member who is getting married on the other side of the country in a few months. My family and I will not be attending the wedding because I cannot get the time off from work.
My sibling and their partner have fewer commitments than my partner and me and are able to plan to attend the wedding with my parents. My parents’ response to us not being able to attend was ‘Great! You can watch the dog for us while we are gone for the long weekend!’ They did not ask – they assumed. My oldest child has a championship sporting event that weekend at the other end of the state, which would leave my partner unavailable to take care of the in-laws’ spoiled pup for the weekend.
I will be stuck working the whole weekend and also cannot watch the dog.
My partner and I were also getting very tired of always being the ones to get stuck watching the dog as well, so I finally stood my ground and told my parents to either have my sibling stay home and watch the dog, or I would be happy to help them find a house/dog sitter to hire that they can pay.
I am now getting the silent treatment from my mother. Am I the jerk?”
32. AITJ For Not Being Willing To Follow My Mother-In-Law's Terms Regarding Seeing My Baby?
“I am a mom to an 8-week-old. He’s not a complicated baby, but does have acid reflux very often, and finds comfort in being with Mama and Daddy.
The day we came home from the hospital my MIL told my husband she was going to be moving 3.5 hours away as soon as she could to be with her ex-husband.
She currently is in a relationship that started as an affair and has bounced back and forth between the two men since I joined the family over 3 years ago.
Well, the time has come and she’s about to leave.
The other day she called and asked me if my 8-week-old could stay up to a week at a time with her when she leaves. I told her absolutely not. I reminded her my son was still an infant, barely out of newborn territory.
I told her that babies do better when it comes to SIDS when they’re in the same room as their parents. I reminded her that she has disrespected my boundaries several different times since we’ve had him. This includes giving him 8 ounces of formula when he was 2 weeks old, trying to visit us in the NICU when he was admitted for a fever saying it would ‘be ok if I left for a while’, putting him in diapers that are too small and that he’s allergic to, and constantly holding it over my husbands head that we didn’t let her in the room when I was giving birth.
She also says he’s ‘too difficult’ to keep overnight when she lives 15 minutes away but wants to keep him for multiple when she’s on the other side of the state.
Cutting her off is not an option. My husband has already said that but now she’s throwing a two-year-old temper tantrum saying that ‘all her kids are keeping her grandbabies away’ (she has a two-year-old granddaughter whose parents also said absolutely not and a 7-year-old grandson whose parents said she can only see him on weekends when she’s down here since he has school).
I also told her she’s more than welcome to see him down here, but he cannot go 3.5 hours away from me. My husband keeps reminding me that this is his only grandma, and asking me how it felt growing up without grandparents.
(I have old parents and my mom died a year and a half ago).
Am I being unreasonable and am I the jerk?”
31. AITJ For Not Paying For My Sister's College Unless She's Willing To Compromise?
“I (F 25) am the older sister and I have my own business. My sister (F 18) is about to go to college and is finishing up her senior year. Unfortunately, my parents suddenly were not able to pay for my sister’s tuition and she is devastated. My sister is living with me now so that my parents can sort out their financial situation.
She had gotten into an Ivy League school and now that she couldn’t go, she has locked herself in her room in my apartment and hasn’t come out except to go to the bathroom or grab DoorDash from the front door.
Finally, she came out a week ago and has been trying to move on.
Since living with me, she has learned that my business is pretty successful and I am on the wealthier side. Plus, I lived alone before she came to my apartment so I was not spending a lot of money to support myself either.
2 weeks ago, she came up to me and asked for me to pay for her college tuition. We had a discussion about how it would work and what the price was for her to attend. When we worked out the details (which was over multiple days of deliberation and consideration), it turned out I was able to pay for her college tuition and other fees.
In our theoretical plan, it was decided that during the summer of her 3rd year, she would need to secure a job above minimum wage to help pay as well.
I told her that the amount I would be paying would hinder my life and my business and she would need to cut down on some of the unnecessary things like having a dorm room to herself without roommates in order for it to work.
Granted, the amount I would be paying would still allow for my business to stay intact and for me to live in appropriate conditions. She told me that those ‘unnecessary things’ were actually very important for her to attend college properly and that she could not cut down.
Some of the things we wanted were a room without a roommate, access to a library that has a hefty membership fee, decorative and overpriced furniture, and a new desktop computer with the computer, the display, the keyboard, and the mouse with an ergonomic mousepad included.
I’ve decided not to pay for her college tuition unless she can compromise. She won’t talk to me and chooses to ignore the fact that I exist. She has thrown two tantrums in the past week about how I am being selfish when our plan clearly shows that I am capable of paying and this is not an opportunity to pass up.
She has now contacted our older brother (M 30) and he has been calling and texting me non-stop to let her go because it was a really good school and one of the ones that was very high on my sister’s list of applications.
AITJ for requiring her to compromise in this very important opportunity for her or am I in the right to put my foot down on this decision?
Edit: My sister has ADHD and some of the things that she requested for her time in college like an aesthetic environment to work in and ergonomic supplies do actually help her deal with her ADHD.
However, I still do not think that it is necessary for her to have those things.”
30. AITJ For Telling My Husband I Hadn't Enjoyed Our Beach Trips?
“My husband (31 M) is very aware that I (27 F) enjoy the beach. It is relaxing and something that I could spend an entire day lounging at.
He, on the other hand, is not a fan of the beach. But he’s told me he’ll go because he knows I enjoy it.
The beach to me is hanging out in the sand and enjoying the smell/sound/sight of it all.
My husband thinks going to the beach means spending it in the water and I don’t mind that part but I’ll only go to about waist deep. I can’t (won’t) swim and I don’t trust the waves so I am cautious I am not going too far.
It’s a real fear of mine to go too far. My husband has the thought process that we are at the beach together and need to do everything together. So he attempts to coax me to go out into the water to like shoulder height and I tell him no. He’s very much aware that he can go but I will not.
He’ll continue to ask until he gets mad that I won’t do it too and an argument ensues.
The same thing happens if we are sitting on the sand. He’ll want to watch a show/movie on his phone, get up and do something else, or just complain the whole time.
I’ve told him before that he can go off and do something else if he wants because I want to relax and enjoy the environment. He won’t because he thinks since we are they’re together then we need to do everything together.
So then an argument ensues.
After several day beach trips ending in arguments, I finally told my husband I didn’t want to go to the beach with him anymore. I feel that if he truly wanted to go to the beach with me because he knew I enjoyed it, then he would let me enjoy it in the way that I like.
I also told him that I hadn’t enjoyed our beach trips due to the arguments and him trying to get me to do only what he wanted. He got upset over this and thought that I was ‘blaming’ him for not wanting to go and if we don’t go anymore then it’s my fault.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Calling Out My Mom's Comments About My Wife Looks?
“My wife (35) and I (36) have a 16-month-old baby. We had her in the middle of 2020 and with the dangers of traveling, my mother (74) who lives across the country was unable to travel to see our daughter until her first birthday.
While visiting, my mom would repeatedly make comments about how thin my wife was considering she had given birth a year prior and how she’d ‘lost all the pregnancy weight very quickly.’ She would also remark about how tired my wife looked. We just sort of nodded along to all of these comments and chalked it up to her missing out on the pregnancy and first year of our daughter’s life, though we didn’t appreciate her pointing out how tired my wife apparently looked.
She came back to visit for Christmas and again commented on how thin my wife was, following it with a story about how a friend of hers never lost the pregnancy weight and has been ‘fat’ ever since. When my mother left for the night, my wife and I just sort of groaned about my mom’s preoccupation with her weight and assumed she meant it was a compliment, though a sort of reverse fat-shamey one.
But it was the next day that really upset me. She again commented that my wife looked tired so I spoke up and said ‘Mom, it’s rude to say that.’ She was taken aback and said she was just saying my wife needed more rest and must be tired from taking care of the baby.
I repeated that it’s just rude to tell someone they look tired. That got me the silent treatment and the next day she went off on me for ‘chastising’ her, especially in front of my wife. I didn’t intend to admonish her in front of my wife but I didn’t want to just let it go in the moment, so I addressed it right then.
When my mom was out of the room, my dad also gave me a hard time for calling my mom out. I tried to explain to him that telling someone they look tired insinuates something negative about their appearance but he disagreed and we didn’t talk about it further.
No one mentioned it the rest of the holiday, but I am certain it will come back up as my mom doesn’t forgive or forget when she feels slighted. For my wife and me, it’s over. I nor my wife expected or wanted my mom to apologize.
I let her know how we felt and it’s done.
AITJ for telling my mom it’s rude to tell someone they look tired? Should I have done it in private? Should I apologize for doing it in front of my wife?
Am I wrong in thinking that’s a rude thing to say?”
28. AITJ For How I Reacted When One Of My Husband's Friends Tried To "Borrow" Me?
“My husband is a very nice person and routinely makes friendships with intellectually disabled men, which I have absolutely nothing against and I love him for it.
I have always been very friendly and nice to my husband’s friends, but I am also a very reserved person so I do tend to keep a polite distance when he is having a conversation with them. I do sometimes participate but most of the time I just smile and listen.
I don’t get offended easily but this one just got to me.
One of my husband’s friends is middle-aged, physically and intellectually disabled, and he happened to be at the same party we were at. If I remember correctly their conversation turned to me and our relationship and he asked my husband if he would consider letting him ‘borrow’ me (in an inappropriate manner).
My husband just laughed it off and politely declined. I was furious. Not only am I not an item anyone can ‘borrow’ but I would also never consider being shared in any way, shape, or form. I felt bad for him not having a lot of chances with love but this is not the way.
Since this incident anytime my husband runs into him I walk away while they are talking and do my own thing, I don’t talk to him and if I see him when I am alone I actively avoid him. He makes me very uncomfortable, knowing he possibly thinks of me like that.
My husband thinks I overreacted, that he must have been joking, I am rude to avoid him and walk away just because he said something stupid and that he couldn’t really help it since he is disabled. My reaction would probably have been even harsher if any of his friends who are not disabled had made the comment.
Why I might be the jerk: I refuse to talk to or acknowledge an intellectually disabled man because he stepped waaaay over my boundaries without taking his disability into account.”
27. AITJ For Defending My Sister From My Dad And His Partner?
“My dad lives with me (F 23) and my partner (M 23).
Prior to moving in my dad and I sat down to go over some ground rules with this living arrangement. We will be sharing the kitchen and laundry room other than that we have completely separate spaces. I straight up asked my dad if his goal was for his partner to move in too or be put on the lease.
(I did not want that so I thought it best to cover that beforehand) he reassured me no he has no intention of such. (They have previously attempted multiple times to live together and it always ends up in a massive fight I wanted NO part of in MY home)
He moved in and all was pretty good until the holidays came his partner ended up staying over for the holidays. Due to the global crisis, a family gathering was canceled so I invited my sister (F 27) and my niece (F 3) over for dinner with us instead.
My dad’s partner has reoccurred multiple times since my parents’ divorce, however, they met in circumstances that are frowned upon – two people in the group going out. However, they did it anyway. There have been events in the past that have made us all dislike his partner which we have made clear.
During dinner, my niece was wandering around and my sister was watching her as well as my dad, partner, and me. However in the middle of dinner once done my dad’s partner excused herself from the table and went into the bedroom away from socializing.
Which would have been okay until it interested my niece who wanted to go explore the room which my sister did not want. Upon us calling for the baby to come back, his partner kept calling her in. This upset my sister mainly because she doesn’t trust a woman she’s met maybe twice around her daughter.
My dad spoke up saying it’s fine and we are being rude. My sister got more anxious and I spoke again bringing the baby back to the room with everyone in… this made my dad’s partner tell him I was ‘hurting her feelings’ to which I said ‘If you wanted to socialize and play with the baby we could have all went to the living room, you are bringing a toddler into the bedroom against my sister THE MOTHER’S wishes’.
In my opinion, if the MOTHER of the child says no or she is uncomfortable which she said to my dad but he brushed it off, what the mother says goes.
My dad got mad at me calling me rude and inconsiderate for making his partner cry.
He then smacked his drink down making the baby cry. He yelled in my face how unbelievably rude I had been. I led him outside away from the baby which annoyed me. He would throw a fit like that in front of the child.
He kept his tantrum up even while outside as his partner watched smiling that he took her side.
AITJ for defending my sister in this situation?”
26. AITJ For Not Wanting To Reconcile With My Brother After He Extorted Me For Money?
“My wife and I built a custom home. My brother and his partner were being evicted from their rental because the owner was selling.
After talking it over, my wife and I decided to offer them a space in our home. We built a separate apartment to the standard of our own space.
A year after that we had a house fire we lost everything, their apartment was undamaged and they were only out two weeks until we could get hydro and water hooked back up.
We rented a farm.
My wife and I and three kids really enjoyed living on the farm. My kids and wife didn’t want to move back to the house after the fire because of trauma. We considered buying the farm as it was for sale at the time.
We talked to my brother and his partner about building a house on the acreage for them on their own dime. Explained our feelings on farm life and the effects of the house fire on the kids. My brother was into the idea so my wife and I bought 100 sheep and chickens and started the negotiations with the owner.
We needed to get a start on farming so we had an additional income when we took possession.
The sale did not go through because of deficiencies with the property. At this point, it was 9 months after the fire and we would not start rebuilding for another month as insurance was dragging their feet.
November came and we started the rebuild. We found a small homestead the same month and ticked all our boxes. Unfortunately, we would be unable to do anything for them at the new house.
We told them we were selling in March when the rebuild was complete.
Things got heated between him and my wife the following day after we bought the new house. My wife told them they had ’60 days to get out of my house’ (yes she was wrong to lash out, my brother and his partner were somewhat wasted and slightly belligerent).
He got a paralegal and said he knew his rights. We got counsel from a lawyer and sent the proper paperwork.
Previously my wife and I agreed to give them $5,000 to leave.
At the meeting, I made the offer and gave them until May to be out.
Said we’d talk in a week.
A week came and we sat down again. He told me he needed $15000 to ‘land on his feet’ or else he wasn’t leaving and would fight any eviction notice. He also wanted the money upfront and it all in writing.
We sold the house come March and politely told him to pound sand, 5k take it or leave it, and if they made our house sale fall through I’d be suing them for damages.
1 month before closing in June they found a place and signed off on everything.
I gave them their deposit and extra totalling 5k. They stiffed me on my last month’s rent.
A year later my dad kept trying to set up family dinners even though he knew how we felt and that we wanted nothing to do with them.
AITJ for not wanting to just forgive and forget? He does have a history of taking advantage of me and my immediate family.”
25. AITJ For Not Wanting To Give My Notes And Notebooks To My Step-Cousin?
“My (17 f) biological mother passed away & I have a stepmother (38 F) (Mom) and she’s an absolute sweetheart and treats my brother and me very well.
Sadly her family sucks. She has a sister (42 F) and her sister’s son J (16 M) has always been my step-grandmother’s (I don’t really know if step-grandmother is the correct term sorry lol) favorite because there were no children except him in the family when my brother and I came along.
She hates my brother and me for becoming a part of their (her & step-grandma’s) will. She’s gone as far as physically and verbally abusing me for being alive basically.
I am currently preparing for a tough exam which, if I pass, will enable me to get into my dream college.
My parents have enrolled me into an elite institute for the same, and it has definitely increased my chances of getting into said dream college a lot and I am studying really, really hard for the exam, giving my everything to it.
(I promise this is relevant, LOL)
J’s mother recently got divorced from her abusive husband and is struggling to make ends meet financially so my step-grandparents took them in and provided for them fully in terms of housing, food, etc. My family is decently wealthy – another thing that my step-grandmother hates my brother and me for is that we live a ‘privileged’ and ‘luxurious’ life when we don’t ‘deserve’ it and her precious little J does.
She’s outright said that to me, all while pinching my arm really hard (that bruise didn’t go away for a week) and crowding me against the wall.
Anyway, I’ve always been fairly good at school, consistently getting the top grades since the first grade.
J is okayish at studying, he’s not very smart, which is okay – I’d never judge him for that – but my step-grandma’s super salty about that too. So she pressured J into appearing for the same exam I am going to take, but they can’t really afford an expensive institute like the one I go to and J would never qualify for the scholarship.
(I got into the institute with a 90% scholarship.)
This brings me to the problem: Since they can’t afford the institute for J, they want me to give ALL my notes and textbooks to J. Those notes and textbooks are the literal physical manifestation of the two years of hard work I’ve put in.
They’re way more than just pieces of paper with information because I’ve given up a chunk of my life to prepare for this exam and study while other kids my age are out doing all sorts of fun things. They are the embodiment of my efforts and my hard work and I absolutely refuse to give them up to ANYONE.
J is a jerk and I don’t want him to benefit from MY hard work. Also, I want to take on evil witch grandma by denying her darling grandson the notes.
My mom said I should give them to him because life’s been crappy for him and now I think I may be a jerk for denying what is, after all, a kid an opportunity.
WIBTJ for refusing to give up my hard work?”
24. WIBTJ If I Try To Evict My Roommate By Buying Our Unit?
“I (27 F) live with one roommate ‘Z’ (40 M) and we have known each other for almost 15 years. I got out of a bad situation in 2020 and thought it would be pragmatic for me to live with Z since we were both looking for a place to live, and I needed someone with a similar lifestyle to mine because I have an 8y/o.
Since living together he has broken many things in the house. House-related things, not my personal belongings sort of. He broke a light fixture, flooded the basement (more than once), put a hole into a wall, and severely broke the cabinets holding all of my pots and pans.
I rather doubt we will be getting our security deposit back. He and the landlord are always fighting over the water bill and the backyard.
Right now, as far as expenses are concerned, I pay 2/3 of the rent and all of the utilities.
I make about 80K per year he makes about 20K. It has become financially stressful to live with Z for the most important reason that he has been through 6 jobs in 2021, and spends every November-April collecting unemployment. This makes me really uncomfortable since I am fronting the majority of the living expenses and things are constantly breaking in the house, not by my doing.
For the past year, the landlord has been talking about selling the house. He’s a really old man and says he can’t take care of it anymore because none of his family will help him out. I feel bad for him.
The house itself is a duplex home. 1 unit on the first floor and a 2nd unit on the top floor. It was recently appraised for less than 200K because it’s so old and not in the best condition.
WIBTJ if I spoke to my landlord about buying my single unit with the end goal of evicting my roommate?
I really love my apartment and I don’t want to give it up, but my roommate made it very clear he has no intention of leaving regardless of whether the landlord wants him there or not, even though he’s not on the lease anymore.
I don’t want to live with him for financial reasons but social reasons as well.”
23. AITJ For Not Giving My Stepsister A Share Of My Parents' Company?
“My parents started a privately held company over 35 years ago. They have been divorced for half of that. Neither would accept a buyout from the other because both loved the company they had built.
They had the same vision of growing it and both had their strengths in business so they stayed business partners after the divorce. They stayed out of each other’s way but with their vision the company has thrived.
They both got remarried with prenups and moved on.
Dad remarried a lady with a daughter named Jane. More on her in a minute. I have a brother and he was groomed from a very young age to take over the business. He started going into the office as a kid with our parents.
When he was 16 he started working for the company officially. He has the same passion for the business that my parents did. He now runs the company. As a teenager, I had no interest in learning about the business and wanted to hang out with my friends and travel.
The plan is when I graduate college I will join him and he will mentor me like our parents mentored him.
My dad because of health reasons decided to retire and when he did he signed over his share of the company to my brother and me.
Unfortunately, he did not get to enjoy his retirement very long when he passed away. We knew it was coming but it was still a major shock.
His stepdaughter Jane started interning for the company when she was in college and got a degree in business.
Dad did not mentor her like my brother but he always encouraged her. He paid for her college and living expenses and she had a job waiting for her upon graduation.
Jane seemed to be very hurt and took it personally when Dad did not leave her any of his shares in the business and I got half his shares when I was not even involved in the company.
It’s been simmering for a while because she came to my brother and me and asked for a 10% share. It left us speechless. My brother was very harsh and told her off and she was in tears by the time he was done with her.
She said that I had not contributed anything to the company and she is right I have not. I told her I did not have to contribute anything to the company to own a piece of it since it was my birthright.
My brother pointed out to her she had not made any significant contributions to the company that would warrant her owning a piece of it but she still drew a large salary and should be happy with that. He then reminded her that her position was handed to her by our dad and that in any other company, she would have started at an entry-level position.
My stepmom was very upset when she found out this happened and we made her daughter feel less than and not a true member of the family. She even went as far as to ask that we give Jane a 2% share.
Jane and stepmom think I am a jerk. I have been thinking about what Jane said. Inheriting part of the company is a harsh reality Jane needs to deal with but at the end of the day, I feel like it is my birthright.
Am I being entitled or is Jane being entitled?”
22. AITJ For Defending My Sister's Bully?
“I (25 nb) have a sister (23 f) who has always had anger issues. My whole life I’ve avoided calling her out because she gets so angry and quite frankly I don’t want to get my butt handed to me.
She came over to my house this weekend with the rest of our siblings and we were all drinking. After spending the night we planned to spend the day together. Over the course of the day, she proceeded to stain my beige carpet by dropping red noodles on it and made no attempts to clean it up, drank all of the liquor in my house (like 1/3 a standard-size bottle of vodka and 4-8 white claws) and make fun of me for the way I was acting around my partner all night.
Particularly making fun of my laugh and teasing me for laughing at everything he said. The man is hilarious and was trying to make me laugh but I digress.
After everyone left and it was just me, her, and our brother who I live with, we got to talking and I mentioned the name of her childhood ‘bully’.
My sister went on a 10-minute rant yelling at me that this bully was the biggest piece of work in the world and how ‘a grown woman’ had no right to pick on ‘a little child’. Which, hey, I agree!
But I pointed out that this is absolutely not what happened, she was in 7th grade and the bully was in 8th. So no adults were picking on minors, and children were being mean to other children. But here’s the kicker, the ‘bullying’ was this girl yelling at my sister one time.
ONE TIME! As someone who was actually bullied I know this is unkind, mean even! but it wasn’t bullying.
Pointing out any semblance of the truth made my sister seethe and she continued to yell at me for another 10 minutes about how she was right and I was wrong and just would not drop it.
At this point, I was so frustrated and so sad about how this is what our relationship has come to. Then she said something like ‘Yelling at someone to make yourself feel better makes you a piece of work’ and I said well I hoped she felt better because that’s what she was doing to me.
I started crying and asked if this was really worth something that happened 12 years ago that doesn’t even matter anymore. She got uncomfortable/angry with my crying and immediately left.
I know in general it is not okay to take a bully’s side, but I don’t really feel like that’s what happened.
To be fair she yelled at me and it made me cry, so I got her argument. But this isn’t the first time she’s made me feel small versus the 1 time the bully did the same thing. So I feel it’s different but I may be a hypocrite.
I just think she was wasted, and angry and owes me an apology. Do I owe her one?”
21. AITJ For Not Eating My In-Laws' Prepared Food?
“I have sensory processing disorder. Diagnosed officially in 2019 after 22 years of knowing something was wrong with me but never knowing the reason why.
I always had a bad sensitivity to smell and taste and had trouble with some textures. I was hospitalized several times as a kid and have lived most of my life with a very limited diet, and help that made me worse eg, feeding therapists who believed in exposure therapy as the only treatment for it, and who would force food into my mouth or force me to smell foods.
I was underweight for 90% of my life because of how limited my diet was. Getting the diagnosis and finding a nice therapist helped me expand some of it. I am nowhere near eating like a typical adult but I have a larger list of safe foods than I ever had.
But I also still have a childhood rule that my food can’t touch each other. It’s annoying, I know, especially with my limited diet, but it’s the way things work.
My husband has been incredible. His family less so. They were offended when I didn’t eat their food, didn’t like my husband telling them my safe foods and how I could eat them, and didn’t like us bringing food for me to eat.
They would serve food for almost any visit, even a very brief one, or they would bring us out to eat.
My husband grew so tired he gave them an ultimatum. Decide whether providing food I could eat in a way I could eat it would work for them or if it would be better for us to bring food, but one had to happen if they wanted to see us.
They told him I was an adult and should be able to be respectful and eat what they prepared. So we haven’t seen them since. And they have tried inviting us via me and I have said no. They say I should talk my husband around and not want to come between family.
His mom called me the daughter-in-law from the underworld.
AITJ?”
20. WIBTJ For Telling My Ex His Daughter Feels Neglected And Alone At His House?
“My ex (38 m) and I (33 nb) split up a month after our daughter was born, due to pretty much every reason in the book. I gained full custody of our kid (7 f) and she has lived with me her whole life.
For the first 6.5 years, he showed up sporadically, visiting with her maybe once a week for an hour or so (we live in the same city so distance isn’t a factor, he’s just not invested).
After years of being mostly absent from her life, despite an open invitation from me to see her whenever he wants, my ex got a new partner and she pushed him to amend the parenting plan and get some residential time.
I supported the change, as I’ve always been rooting for my kid and her bio dad to have more of a relationship. Now he was 35% residential time, but I remain the custodial and primary parent.
For the first few weeks of the new residential schedule, our daughter struggled to adjust to being at his house, and I worked hard to help her adapt and feel positive about the change.
Eventually, she started to adjust and it seemed like his partner was spending time with our daughter a lot more than my ex was, but I am not surprised, given our history.
Over the last couple of months, however, things have started to go downhill.
Apparently, they’ve both cooled on her, and she feels very neglected when she’s over there. She told me she spends most of her time relegated to her room, and the only fun things she does are play the switch for half an hour a day and once in a while play with the neighbor kids at the neighbor’s house.
She’s expressed to multiple adults in her life (including her teacher) that she feels neglected and ignored by them.
For the last two months, every time she has to go to my ex’s house, my daughter has broken down in tears and begged me not to make her go.
I have a legal obligation to make her (children in our state have to go on visitation until they are 13, at which point they can decide not to.) It breaks my heart every single time, but I try to put a positive spin on things and encourage her to have a fun time as much as she can.
I also encouraged her to talk to her bio dad about this, but she says she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, so she keeps it to herself.
I am at the point where I am about to talk to him and tell him how miserable she is and force him to confront what a trashy parent he’s being, but knowing him, he’ll just try to spin it as me being evil and trying to turn his daughter against him.
WIBTJ for telling my ex his daughter hates being at his house because she feels neglected and alone?”
19. WIBTJ If I Sell The House My Dad Is Living In?
“My dad (56 M) spent ~20 years driving a taxi and has never been driven to improve his life. He’s spent his entire adulthood doing the bare minimum to keep the lights on and has been irresponsible in all aspects of his life, including career choices (or lack thereof), finances, and relationships.
When the global crisis hit, the company he worked for went under and he started DoorDashing. His landlord died shortly before this, and he let my dad live there rent-free because of the global crisis.
During Christmas 2020, my wife and I visited and saw that my dad was living a meaningless existence, drinking beer on the couch, alone with nothing to look forward to.
We decided to let him move into our rental property near our current home in another state. This way he could be close to his grandkids and maybe start a new life. He would need to pay just enough to cover the mortgage ($250/mo).
This rental unit (one side of a duplex) could be rented for $900 in the current market. $250 is about half of what his previous rent was (not that he was paying it). I agreed to help him find a job when he moved to our current city across the country.
He moved in last July.
Backstory: I am active military, so I move a lot. Early on I knew that I wanted to make a career out of the military and consider retiring from it. I know a lot of people on the internet hate capitalist landlords, but if I didn’t buy rental properties I would have to wait until ~40 years old to buy a house due to moving so much.
So I bought cheap properties to live in until I moved and rented them out after. This way, near the end of my career, I could hopefully sell the properties to put down on a final home and not have to start from scratch with a 30-year mortgage.
I currently own 2 rentals including the one my dad lives in.
When he moved in a year ago, he gave me $500 upfront for ‘gratitude’ for helping him move. Since then he hasn’t paid a dime. In fact, I’ve had to bail him out multiple times with phone bills, utilities, car registration renewal (for a car that I gave him 6 years ago), and various other things.
I’ve tried to help him find a new job, but he has no motivation, and whenever I bring it up he scoffs and changes the subject. He doesn’t help us at all (don’t get me started on the time he was supposed to watch the dogs and we came home to a house full of dog poop), and our resentment is growing.
Property values have exploded since I bought the house my family and I currently live in and want to retire in. At this point, I could sell the two rental properties I own and (almost) completely pay off my home and be debt-free.
Again, this is why I bought the rental properties in the first place. However, there’s no way my dad could afford to pay rent if another landlord demanded market value (and he surely wouldn’t be moving in with us).
WIBTJ for selling the home out from under the man whose balls I was ejected from?”
18. WIBTJ If I Force My Daughter To Get A Job?
“My daughter (22) moved in with me and my wife in February and she does not work, she can’t keep a job for more than a few weeks because she starts drama and gets fired. She isn’t in college.
She sits in her room all day every day, her hygiene is bad, and her room is a pigsty. If you say anything to her about her behavior or doing something with her life she either mouths off or just walks away.
It’s like walking on eggshells saying anything to her.
I’ve already gone up there twice now since she moved in to help her clean her room. I went up there today because it smells like a barnyard again in this house and there are dog bowel movements all over the carpet.
The dog chewed the corner bottom of her bedroom door. Dog food is all over the floor. Bowls and plates with moldy food everywhere. Clothes everywhere. Wrappers and soda cans everywhere. The toilet has a dark yellow stain in the bowl.
It’s just appalling and I am livid. I did yell at her because I am sick of my house smelling bad because she won’t clean her room. We just bought this house last year, it’s a brand new house.
My daughter has depression and refuses to take medication for it, she lied to me about taking it. I found an entire bottle full of Zoloft that was prescribed in April. She stopped doing online therapy and lied to me that she was still doing it.
The therapist reached out to me. She currently is only eating once a day and that’s after I go to bed. She recently asked me if I would fund a trip for her to go to an out-of-state concert, you’re well enough to do that but not anything else?
We had a C & D show up at the house last month because she cyberbullied this girl for over a month. I’ve noticed she blames everybody else for her problems and never takes accountability.
We try to invite her to do things to get her out of her room (hiking, going to movies, kayaking) she turns it down.
She tells me all the time she has no motivation to do anything. She cries and gives Oscar-worthy meltdowns. I tell her she can’t use her depression to do nothing forever, a lot of people have anxiety and dep, and still have jobs, because they don’t have a choice.
She tries to guilt me by saying ‘All I do is yell at her, she doesn’t bother anybody, I don’t waste money on her, why do I care if she’s in her room every day’ because it’s not a way to live?
I don’t want to support you forever?
She has no friends and nowhere else to go. We don’t live near a city. I don’t want to kick her out but she’s not progressing staying here. I am sick of the lip service, and fake promises, I am sick of all the lies, manipulation, and guilt-tripping.
I am sick of her trashing her room. Not doing anything with her life. I want to tell her, she has two weeks from today to start looking for a job, showing some initiative or she’s gone. If she refuses to leave, I’ll call the cops.
I am done playing games. If she doesn’t want to seek help or better herself then she can get out. She can go live in her car, but this can’t continue. Something has to change.”
17. AITJ For Letting My Son Have His Birthday Celebration?
“I (32 m) have two kids, Cody (7 m) and Chrissy (3 f) with my partner (30 f).
Recently, Cody got into trouble in school for fighting another student. The two of them have been at loggerheads for a while now, but this is the first time it has escalated this far. We were called into the school and had to agree for him to have weekly meetings with a counselor so that he would not be suspended for the rest of the term.
It was Cody’s birthday on Thursday and since we haven’t been doing very well financially, instead of buying multiple presents for his birthday, we planned to buy him one big present – a bike – and go for a day out at the cinema after school/work.
However, because of this incident, my partner decided that we would be canceling all birthday celebrations. I thought that this was a bit far and we argued for a while.
My partner leaves for work early but I still work from home, so it’s my job to get the kids ready for school.
Cody was up early, excited as it was his birthday despite his mother telling him it was canceled. He was so excited and I thought he had been punished enough, so I took him to the shed and gave him the bike anyway.
He was so excited as so many of his friends liked to cycle to and from school and now he could join them. We did not go to the cinema after school, but my parents came round with their presents too.
My partner, however, was furious when she got home from work and Cody thanked her for the bike. My partner wanted me to confiscate all the presents, but I told her that there was no point in taking them now he already had them and we argued. It was the worst fight we’ve had in a while and she accused me of ‘undermining’ her and not respecting her parenting.
She went to her parents’ after work on Friday. Although she did come back this morning, she is still giving me the cold shoulder and thinks that I need to apologize for making her look ‘stupid’ and not encouraging our children to respect her wishes.
AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Not Wanting To Include Religious Content In The Family Cookbook?
“I put together a family cookbook, sending invitations to every member of my large family, on my mom’s side. I invited every cook to send up to four recipes along with a short optional paragraph about each recipe. It was expensive and time-consuming because of all the postage, organizing, and typing.
But the response was good: over a hundred recipes came in for foods, drinks, desserts, and even some traditional remedies and household items like window cleaner.
A few relatives sent inappropriate material: religious homilies and Bible verses, and especially a recipe-themed essay about how to make a happy home (a pinch of prayer, a cup of faith, etc.) The essays came from more than one relative and they were so similar it appeared to have been copied from some published source.
Oddly, none of the relatives who sent religious content contributed any recipes! So I called them, explained why I couldn’t use the material, and asked if they had any recipes for things that could be physically made. None did. Some were pretty upset about ‘not being allowed’ to contribute, and it caused a rift in the family.
I considered including the homilies and essays anyway but then realized that if I expanded the project that way I’d also have to include poems, art, and the other things I’d been offered. I told the folks who were complaining that they were free to set up their own religion-centered family project, but that this was a cookbook.
I didn’t exclude religious content in the recipes (such as for Easter ham) or in the recipe paragraphs, some of which referred to church potlucks or religious holidays. Nor did I include even a whisper of atheist content or material critical of religion.
I also turned down offers of non-religious content such as art and poetry. Most family members found recipes that were in fact recipes and sent those. The only ones who made a federal case of it were the ones who already had a martyr complex and who already had a history of showing off how devout they were.
I did intentionally but politely deny them the opportunity to use my cookbook project that way.
The biggest complaint appears to be that I took it upon myself to create a ‘family’ project but won’t let family members use it to showcase themselves the way they like.
Am I really being that big of an obnoxious atheist?”
15. AITJ For Refusing To Pay For My Husband's Travel Expenses?
“My (f 35) husband (m 33) has a friend (m 32) ‘Austin’ that he’s known from college. They’re like brothers and together they extended their friend group, now the group has over 7 guys who hang out together all the time.
Austin and I don’t get along. He seems to be mocking my infertility and brings it up occasionally. It hurts because I’ve always wanted children and for him to make it a constant topic of conversation hurts. My husband thinks it’s just me being hypersensitive.
Anyway. About a month ago, Austin and I got into a fight after he commented on my infertility by saying that I should hurry up and give HIM a nephew/niece because ‘my biological clock is ticking’. We were planning on going on a trip together but Austin disinvited me because I yelled at him for what he said and ‘ruined’ his dinner.
I said I was perfectly OKAY with that, in fact, I felt so much relief I no longer had to be around him anymore.
My husband, for the first time, was okay with me being away from Austin but said he still wanted to go on that trip.
I said nothing til he told me he still expects me to pay for his travel expenses. I refused and said he was on his own. He started an argument about how I was doing this to punish him for not staying home with me and told me that my issue was with Austin, not him.
I told him he could go get the money elsewhere but he’s unable to borrow any more money and add to his debts after he got fired in May.
He insisted and I refused. He started calling me spiteful and unfair for refusing to pay for his travel expenses in an attempt to get him to stay home with me.
He said his relationship with Austin is bigger than just a few comments Austin made and bigger than my exaggerated sensitivity and insecurity.
Now he’s sulking until I cave in and give him the money. AITJ for insisting on not paying?”
14. AITJ For Not Wanting To Be My Niece's Nanny?
“Recently my sister lost her nanny to an illness.
My 18-month-old niece was now left without anyone to watch her during the day. My sister was incredibly distraught because, for all intents and purposes, she’s a single mom and has to work full time. The dad isn’t in the picture in any meaningful way.
She tried to find someone else but didn’t have any luck. The qualified people with clean backgrounds all wanted significantly more money than what my sister could afford.
I currently live with our mom rent-free and just work a bartending job a couple of nights a week while I do insurance sales classes.
To help her out I offered to come up and fill in for 3 weeks until my niece goes into preschool. I left my job in Florida and came back up to Virginia with less than a week’s notice to nanny for her.
The deal was $400 a week (what she was paying the last lady) Monday-Friday, 8-5.
I made it clear to her before I came that we needed to have boundaries with how much I care for my niece to be sustainable for my well-being.
9 hours alone with an 18-month-old is mentally and physically exhausting for anyone, but especially me right now due to some personal issues I am having.
The first week went ok. Now it’s the weekend and I can tell my sister is a bit frustrated with me.
She expects me to hang out with them, take my niece to activities together, cook dinner together, and watch my niece for hours on end while she tries to get chores done around the house. I need to study for my test, which I’ve made abundantly clear, and yet she keeps coming into the guest room and interrupting me.
Just now she came to me for help and I told her I could spare 30 minutes. She made a fuss about it but eventually went off to clean. I felt guilty so ended up watching her for an hour…
At that point, I told my sister that I needed to study but could come back up at 6 to help get dinner together.
She got an attitude and said that wouldn’t be helpful because the baby HAS to eat at 5 p.m. I asked if she could eat something else instead of the meal we were planning and my sister was dismissive and angry, stating that NO she didn’t have anything else for her to eat (which is nonsense because there’s a fridge and freeze FULL of baby-friendly food…).
I just let it go and went off to the guest room to study.
It’s obvious she really wants a co-parent and needs a lot more help than I am able or willing to provide. She offered in passing to pay me to watch the baby on the weekends too, but I really don’t want to.
My life is devoted Monday-Friday to the kid, I NEED time to myself and I NEED to pass this test. I feel like an awful sister for not helping more, but it seems like a very slippery slope. I wish she would just put her foot down with the kid’s dad and insist at the least that he pay for a weekend nanny since he isn’t capable of taking care of my niece himself.
Would I be the jerk to bring this up? I am sure she knows what a messed up situation it is with the father of her baby. Would a loving family member bringing attention to that help her get her thoughts together or harm our relationship?
At the very least should I reiterate the terms of our agreement about my time here? I feel like it would be a different story if I wasn’t caring for my niece so much during the week. I’d happily help out for a couple of hours… I feel for the predicament my sister is in but I also feel like she dug her grave with this one and I am doing more than enough to be a good sister and aunt already.”
13. WIBTJ If I Cancel On A Week-Long Trip With My Friends?
“I and a couple of (2 close) friends wanted to go on a week-long trip again since the last time we did was fun. We kind of agreed on dates but didn’t book anything.
They then decided to ask 4 of their other friends (who I know, but am not too close with) to tag along; they figured we could get a big Airbnb and split costs to keep overall trip costs low.
I thought cool, as long as the place is fine I am down. I am very easygoing.
Well the issue is they booked a place without even asking me, and it only has enough beds/rooms for them… meaning I’d be out in the living room sofa bed.
Somehow that Airbnb got canceled, so I told them to wait before booking a new one and make sure I was OK with it before booking one again because the last one didn’t have a lot of space. Was told okay.
I sent a few perfect Airbnbs at the same price as the other smaller ones, which are all in the same building anyway.
Well, what would you know… they booked ANOTHER one with the same amount of beds… not enough for me… WITHOUT ASKING ME.
They’re all girls and I am the only guy. That’s why I’d be out in the living room sofa bed. No bathroom. No privacy. And you know how girls can be at getting ready sometimes…
I am definitely big into personal space and privacy, so I really don’t think this is going to work and would definitely ruin my trip.
Especially with 6 other people…
I am just annoyed because I know I’ll be getting the short end of the stick yet expected to pay my fair share. They told me there are like public showers I can use by the building pool… like why would I pay anything for the Airbnb then if you’re going to tell me that?
At this point, I even looked at getting my own hotel or Airbnb, but my cost would be 3-4x what I’d be paying now. I could afford it, but I don’t want to spend that much at all… Not worth it to me, in my opinion.
WIBTJ if I bail? It’s 3 weeks out, and the new Airbnb was booked last week (the one I had no say in).”
12. AITJ For Showering With My Wife On A Business Trip?
“I am an IT technician for a company that sells and replaces railway ties. I do not work alone at the company as my wife of five years also works at the company as a sales rep.
She is very successful in her position and frequently gets to go on business trips. Despite my position, I also get to go on these trips. I can because my wife is a double amputee who lost both her arms and has asked for me to be with her as an accommodation.
My employer agreed on the condition that I serve as a mobile IT technician while on these trips. In other words, I am expected to handle all the tech support needs of my wife and any others who join her on the trips.
Additionally, I am sometimes sent out to remote branches to help them with any issues they may have.
This has worked quite well for four years as being able to travel with my wife while also being paid to do so is nothing short of amazing.
This was until recently during a trip with two other sales reps. During this trip, we ran afoul of one of the reps. It was the morning of a conference with several potential clients and this rep had left to go eat breakfast. During this time my wife asked if I could join her in the shower to help her get ready for the day.
I agreed as this request is quite common as while she can shower without assistance she sometimes likes assistance to get extra clean if she has an important event or meeting coming up. After helping her shower we got out of the bathroom only for the rep who left for breakfast to return.
Upon seeing us leave the bathroom she accused me and my wife of getting naughty in the shower and the other rep of ‘allowing’ it.
To defuse the situation I calmly explained that I was helping her get clean and pointed to her arms that are on the bed and are bone-dry.
This was backed up by the other rep saying she had heard her ask me for help. Despite three people all saying the same thing she still didn’t accept it and then went as far as to insult her She said that if she really needed help showering she should not be allowed on any trips.
This was when I ripped her a new one for insulting her and called HR after she had left. When we got back this rep was suspended for her conduct and got a formal write-up. This has led to her and a little clique of reps she hangs with calling me a jerk among other things.
AITJ here?”
11. AITJ For Forcing My Daughter To Delete Their TikTok Account?
“I married my wife last year, and we’re still settling in. We have six kids between us but the relevant two are the two eldest, my daughter (15) and her daughter (17).
We/I own a small hobby farm and I work from home as an engineer the rest of the time.
We pay the girls to keep an eye on the younger kids sometimes, usually, I am on the property somewhere if there’s an emergency.
Unbeknownst to us, 17YO and 15YO decided to start a TikTok account, the ‘theme’ of which was basically ‘life on a farm/life with 5 (step)siblings.’ They were showing the little kids on camera a lot and showing a lot of our property and house.
To their credit, they were smart enough to not specify location and other details like our last name but it was still very revealing. For example, one of the videos had our kitchen in the background and if you were very dedicated and went frame by frame, there was a 1 second moment where you could definitely see the school district schedule on the fridge.
My wife and I found out and made them delete the videos/account for safety reasons. We told them they could create a fresh account together or separately if they’re sitting on the floor of their rooms talking about Kpop or whatever, and they’re okay with us watching the videos, but we’re not comfortable with them going around filming the house and the little kids in detail and accidentally dropping details about our lives even if they’re doing their best to be careful.
My wife was in agreement with my feelings that we needed to delete the account entirely but I definitely had stronger feelings and more concerns than she did.
However, we’ve only recently ‘blended’ and the existence of the TikTok account was in some ways very encouraging, and it was great to hear them say ‘our parents’ or ‘our little brother.’ We made sure to tell them we were happy they were excited and were fine with them recording the videos just for themselves/for memories we just didn’t want them on social media.
I talked to my sister who has older kids and she said that that’s just how kids were these days, that I’d gotten in the way of them bonding for a remote safety risk, and that we should have taken down a few of the videos but let them continue the series just without showing as much of the house or sharing specific pieces of information.
It only had a handful of followers anyway.”
10. AITJ For Not Being Happy About Our Family Trip To Europe?
“My dad was previously married and has an older daughter (28 F). 28F’s mom also remarried and then they had kids about the same age as me and my brothers. 28F spends summers and breaks with us, but we aren’t that close.
My dad was like hey do you want to go on a trip with your sister and her other half-sister (17 F) on her mom’s side, they’re going to Europe I’ll pay for you as a high school graduation present.
I said yes. I was excited, we started a group chat, all good. 28F had been to a lot of the places before so was making the itinerary but I’d sometimes say oh I’d really like to see ___ and 17F would sometimes say the same.
I’d never met 17F before this trip. At first, it was fine but it started to be frustrating because it felt like the trip had been for 17F and I was a third wheel.
17F is really into science/tech and 28F is an engineer so we did a lot of those kinds of activities.
Neither of them is really into history or art. For example, 28F booked a walking tour called the ‘Scientific Legacy of City.’ I saw the list of other tours and there were so many others that were personally more interesting to me but she never opened it up to the group.
If she had 17F would have been like ‘Scientific legacy sounds great!’ And it would have been the end of the convo because it’s 2 against 1.
I started getting more vocal like hey I’d like to stay at this art museum a little longer can I meet up with you guys later.
28F called my dad to ask if that was okay and my dad said no he wanted me to stay with 28F. After she talked to my dad I started being more vocal like ‘Hey I’d really like us to stop at this museum.’ But 17F would get annoyed and 28F would be like ‘Well we want to do __.’ If they did agree to whatever I suggested it would feel like I’d inconvenienced them or later 28F would say ‘We went to that museum yesterday for you’ the next time I expressed a preference.
Not just activities but like if I needed to sit down or stop for food or run into a store or wasn’t ready when they were ready to leave, it felt like it was inconvenient to them. Everything 17F said in the group chat that she wanted to do, we did, and that was not at all true for me.
Finally, in one of those convos where everyone was getting frustrated, 28F said ‘Well this is really 17F’s trip anyway.’
That’s when it fully hit me that they didn’t even want me there. I felt really miserable and stopped asking to do things.
I also pretended to be sick and stayed at the hotel one of the days. 28F didn’t seem upset about it and on the flight home 17F said it was ‘one of her favorite days.’ By the end of the trip, I was glad to leave and it felt like they were glad to see me leave.
I am mad at 28F/17F and depressed about it but I also feel like my dad put me in that situation. When I got home and told him he accused me of having a bad attitude and I said yeah because they didn’t want me there.
He said he’d paid 2k+ for my portion of this trip and I was being a spoiled brat.”
9. AITJ For Not Wanting To Get Rid Of My Teddy Bear?
“I (18 F) have frequent night terrors and have since I was around 12.
When it got to the point that I wasn’t sleeping because of them, my parents tried to find something like a comfort item that would help me get to sleep. I have a small, plush bear that I’ve had for a few years now, and it’s the only thing that I absolutely need most nights.
I’ve been living in a small dorm for quite a while by myself, however recently a transfer student (19 F) has been moved into my dorm room. We have separate bedrooms and usually don’t come into each other’s rooms often.
Last week she came to me and asked if I was alright with her family (dad, mum, and one kid) coming around to visit for a few hours. I said I was a-okay with it, as long as she let me know what day they were coming over.
As I was cleaning up my room for this surprise visit, she noticed my plush. She made a few comments about it being childish and old, but I didn’t really mind.
Just a few hours later she came up to me and asked ‘Hey, so you know about my brother?’ I replied ‘Yes, what about him?’
She then asked if I could give him the plush, as ‘I didn’t need it’ and ‘It’d be in better hands with him’.
I tried to calmly explain that it was one of the few things I wouldn’t give up easily, as without it I wouldn’t be able to sleep or calm myself if I did have a nightmare, but she kept on with the same points about how ‘I can just get another one, it’s not a big deal’.
I eventually snapped and told her that I wouldn’t be giving anything to her brother if she kept up with not listening to my reasoning before she scoffed and stormed off to her room.
Again, I know it sounds childish (and it probably is looking back on it), but am I the jerk for it?”
8. AITJ For Not Reporting My Aunt To The Police For Stealing Credit Cards?
“For as long as I can remember, my great-aunt Tracy (not her real name) had a reputation for stealing people’s credit cards or opening up credit cards in the names of other people.
She did it to my grandma (her sister), to her best friend, and to a few other family members.
It’s always treated as a big joke in my family ‘Oh hide your wallets, Aunt Tracy is coming over’. Whenever she’s stolen someone’s credit card or used their name to open it, they just grumble and pay it off because it’s Aunt Tracy and everyone knows that’s just how she is.
Two years ago it happened to me. But this time, instead of it only being a couple of hundred dollars like she did to people in the past, she charged $10,000, completely maxing out my card. This was a huge financial burden to me at the time and I was furious.
I said point blank I was going to dispute the charges and file a police report. But everyone in my family started pressuring me to back down. ‘We all know this is just how Aunt Tracy is’ ‘It’s happened to all of us before, it’s just your turn’ ‘You should have been more careful with your credit card’.
So I caved and didn’t dispute the charges or file a police report. It’s been an incredible financial strain to pay off this debt at the high-interest rate on my card.
Two months ago Aunt Tracy did it again to another family member.
This time she maxed out two of their cards, totaling about $18k. This happened right as my cousin was about to put a down payment on her first home, and she had to pass on buying her dream house.
My cousin and her husband are furious at me for not reporting Aunt Tracy to the police two years ago and said I bear a lot of responsibility for their situation.
I said I was just trying to keep peace in the family. My daughter’s baptism is in a few weeks and my cousin was supposed to be the godmother. She’s pulling out and now whether people attend the baptism is turning into a huge ordeal that’s overshadowing what should be a special day for my daughter, who has no involvement in any of this.
My cousin said I shouldn’t show my face in a church. I’ve been crying since she said that. I was only trying to do what I thought would cause the least division. Was I a jerk?”
7. AITJ For Refusing To Take "Newborn" Photos Of My Friend's Baby?
“I do photography as a side business because I have a 9-5. I do it mostly on the weekends, and usually, my clients are friends and family or were recommended to me by friends or family.
My specialty is newborn babies, but I happily photograph kids and babies of any age. However; newborn photo shoots have to be done in the first 7-10 days, babies older than that fight the poses too much for it to be done safely, and I refuse to do anything that could hurt the baby.
One of my good friends had a baby 3 weeks ago. At her baby shower in January, I gave her a cute little coupon for a free newborn shoot. This wasn’t part of her gift but rather a friendly gesture since it was her first baby, and I had done the same thing for her sister a few years ago.
When the baby was born, I congratulated her and asked her when she wanted me to take the pictures. She never answered me until a couple of days ago and asked if next weekend was okay. I took a little while to think of a response and ended up calling her to explain that the baby is too old now to safely do a newborn shoot, but that I would be happy to come and take some family photos, and maybe do a 1-month mini session with a couple of cute outfits.
She complained that I should still do the newborn poses since that’s what I told her I would do before the baby was born, and that she wanted pictures of her baby like I took of her sister’s baby.
I said again that I wasn’t comfortable doing something that wouldn’t be safe for the baby; and that I took the pictures of her sister’s baby when it was 4 days old, not 4 weeks old, that the situation would be different if the baby was still actually a newborn.
So AITJ for not doing a newborn photo shoot with a baby that’s too old?”
6. AITJ For Not Telling My Parents About My Hormone Replacement Therapy?
“I (F 26) came out as a transgender woman to my parents and younger brother a couple of years ago – they were generally supportive (‘we love you no matter what’).
After that though, every time I saw my parents at our weekly dinners, whenever something came up regarding me being trans, things would get very uncomfortable, especially my dad who would just go quiet for the rest of the night and look annoyed, or snap at my mum.
Eventually I kinda just stopped talking about anything to do with my transition with them because I just didn’t want the mood to go down during the one time I get to see them because of something I said.
A few months ago I finally got prescribed HRT (hormone replacement therapy) which is the start of a medical transition – taking testosterone blockers and estradiol to get my hormone levels to that of a cisgender (non-trans) woman.
I didn’t tell my parents about it before or after I started, but as I’ve started to get a bit more hormonal, chests have started developing, and facial features have started changing, I figured I better just mention it to them as a courtesy because it would become more obvious as the months go by anyway.
My dad got angrier than I’ve seen him in a very long time – he told me it was reckless of me to start taking ‘body-altering medicines’ without consulting him (he works in medicine). I told him that I knew the risks, I had spoken with a lot of doctors and other trans people on HRT beforehand and that I had known this is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time and that already it has improved my quality of life.
He said ‘Why couldn’t you just be a crossdresser?” My mum told him off for swearing and then he told me to get lost.
The next morning I got a call from my mum asking me why I didn’t tell her, said my dad could have talked things through with me and then said that she’d get him to apologize for yelling at me if I apologize for not telling them before I started. I am not sorry for starting HRT, but I do think that maybe I should have just borne any unpleasantness and just told them what was going on in my life.
AITJ?”
5. AITJ For Not Wanting To Name My Baby "Leo"?
“My fiance (M 25) and I (F 21) are expecting our first son. We already have a daughter (2) named Lucia and we want to keep our children’s names starting with the letter L.
Well for years before our daughter was born my fiance and I have been talking about the baby names. We both LOVE the name Lucia and it’s not common which was one of the reasons I love it, but when it comes to boy names my fiance likes the name Leo.
And I don’t like it because now everyone is also naming their son Leo. One of my best friends wants to name her son Leo (after her deceased father) too and I can’t have my own son and my godson be both named Leo.
We have thought of other names, but in our country, we don’t have a lot of L names. And we can’t even choose names from different countries because both have parents from two different countries and in our country, you’re not allowed to choose a name that isn’t ‘our country’s name’ (stupidest law ever).
Well now that my due date is not too far away the name talk is the hot topic. And my fiance still wants to name our son Leo. And we have been having way too many arguments about this. My fiance doesn’t like any other name that I am trying to give him.
Even ones that aren’t L names… Leo is just something we can’t go with for many reasons and so yesterday I told my fiance to choose a name. Any other name than Leo and Leo can be the second name, but not the first, because my best friend has already taken that one and he doesn’t have any important meaning behind the name like my best friend.
Well, he got angry at me and told me to name our son.
Today my sister-in-law called trying to help. She sees my side of the situation and is trying to talk to my brother-in-law so that he can talk to my fiance.
At the same time, my SIL and MIL have been trying to come up with names that my fiance would like.
But now it’s the evening and my fiance still isn’t talking to me… We have never had a fight that we couldn’t resolve after talking.
But it really seems this is not going to settle soon. What can I do? My fiance normally isn’t this kind of person but after mentioning L names to him before Lucia and going through them he’s loved the name Leo and I never thought this would become this big.
Any help how I, SIL, MIL, and everyone else in his family can make him understand the situation?”
4. AITJ For Using My Wife's Bathroom Stuff On Our Dogs?
“My wife (30s F) and I (40s M) have been together 17 years. We support each other well and have (mostly) resolved the petty disputes long ago. Except for one…
We discovered early in our relationship that we operate best with very clear roles in our household.
She picks up the house throughout the week, and I take off early every Friday and clean the entire house.
I get to be kind of a messy dude for five days a week, and she walks into a perfectly clean house, sometimes with fresh flowers in the vase at the door.
We support each other on these tasks when needed, like, I’ll help clear dishes and the kitchen if she cooks during the week. She will fold all the laundry I have washed on Friday if I do not get to it.
My intent of this preface is to let the reader know that we genuinely support each other… now…
AITJ: Part of my weekly cleaning on Friday is giving our two dogs a bath. It’s normally my last task, and I am rushing before she gets home from work.
Admittedly, because I am in a rush to have the house and dogs clean before she gets home, I will completely ignore other options and use her shampoo. Also her good towels.
Her nice shampoo. It’s not the $50 bottle that some people use, but I am willing to admit it’s pretty good stuff.
She hates the fact I do this.
I told her that she could always pick it up at one of her trips out during the week, or I would personally go pick it up for her if needed. I wash the laundry, so I can ensure the towels go through an extra wash if they still smell like a dog.
She says it’s the principle: Men have no idea how much concern it may cause a woman to be close to running out of their shampoo.
Again, first-world problems. My wife reviewed this story and agreed to let you decide the direction we go on this argument.
AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Only Wanting To Have A Small Wedding?
“I (female 32) respectfully hate wedding culture and all the (heavy) weight it carries. I personally think that it’s pointless and exhausting to have a big wedding just for everyone else to enjoy except the couple.
Been there, done that.
So my (future) in-laws are very traditional folks (thankfully my fiance isn’t like that and I was able to get him to see how overrated traditional weddings are). My in-laws pretty clearly want a ‘traditional’ wedding with all the ‘works’ – big party, big venue, a whole wedding party and a private photographer, and a fancy, expensive wedding dress to impress the guests and a huge variety of food options as well as DJs and who knows what else.
We’re in the process of wedding planning. MIL actually came to me (along with SIL) with a ‘list’ of where to start with wedding planning. I got nauseous just looking at it, I asked why the hassle and exaggeration? and she was like ‘Well, that’s how it’s done in the family’.
I told her I was sorry about that (oops!) but my fiance and I already decided on a small party in our spacious backyard with a humble purple dress as my wedding dress, and an Etta James ‘At Last’ song playing in the background.
SIL looked at me asking if I was serious. The next thing I knew MIL almost fainted which freaked me out completely. She then regained her strength and began yelling at me telling me that I was trying to make a joke out of her son and the family and demanding I stick to the list she gave me.
I called my fiance to come home but his dad and aunt got there first and they all started arguing with me about how crazy this was, and how they won’t let me ruin my own and their son’s wedding for them.
My fiance got home and kind of took everything we agreed on back. I got so mad at him and asked why, he told me he didn’t think his family would react like this. I argued with him too after his family threatened that they wouldn’t attend the ‘wedding’ if I went through with this crazy plan.
They criticized me up and down and up and down saying they don’t get why I am doing this when I have enough money and time to have a respectable worthy wedding just like everyone else in the family. But I am being a bridezilla trying to dictate the wedding from A to Z.
Also said that just because I had a wedding before doesn’t mean I make light of this one.
We are still pretty much arguing about it and my fiance keeps saying he wants his family to not miss our wedding and asked that I reconsider what we previously planned.
AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Telling My Friend What My Partner Had Told Me About The New Guy At His Company?
“My partner has been working at his company for almost two years now. Around the end of last year, one of my best friends applied for an opening at his company.
She’d gotten through the first round(s), and at the time my partner had told me that they had shortlisted it to four candidates. In the end, she didn’t get the job.
A few months later, I found out that the guy who got the job didn’t have the degree he claimed. My partner used to complain sometimes about having to spend a fair bit of time helping him.
When I asked how he’d even managed to get his degree he said that he was actually pretty sure he was lying about his degree and that a friend of his knew that guy from college and his major isn’t what he claims at work (which was apparently a requirement to get the job).
I had told him that this was fraud and he should tell HR but he was opposed to the idea and told me not to tell anyone.
Recently, I met my friend again. While talking, she mentioned how it would’ve been cool to work at my partner’s company with him (he and she are also friends).
I told her what my partner had told me. She seemed indignant about it, and I told her that I felt the same way.
She reached out to my partner and talked about it. My partner said it was just something he’d thought about and that it probably wasn’t true, and they had an argument over this.
My partner has been mad at me about it since. He said that was a jerk move and that it was supposed to be between us, and he’s been giving me the cold shoulder since. I’ve been telling him that he’s the one who’s being complicit in a lie and I wasn’t at fault.
AITJ here?”
1. AITJ For Confronting My Bridesmaids About Making Fun Of My Mother-In-Law?
“I am in a bit of a weird situation with my MIL. I don’t think she likes me, I’ve heard she doesn’t like me, but she doesn’t speak any English, so I’ve never had a direct conflict with her. My bridesmaids are all aware that she doesn’t speak English, as she was included on a shopping trip with us.
MIL and her husband don’t live in the US and rarely visit, so I can understand why they assumed that he didn’t speak it as well, but he does for business purposes. My bridesmaids aren’t big fans of MIL. She was annoying when we went shopping.
She apparently talks a lot of trash about me and about American women in general. She wore the one color I didn’t want her to (though to be fair I never know what is lost in translation), and honestly, she is kind of a crybaby when no one is paying attention to her.
The morning of the wedding she annoyed everyone by hijacking my hair and makeup appointment when I didn’t offer her hair and makeup and taking up too much of the stylist’s time. Needless to say, my girls don’t like her, and I don’t like her very much either.
During the reception, they had a bit to drink and were making fun of her. The issue is her husband does speak English and he was not happy. He came and loudly confronted me in front of my family, got into a fight with my parents, and demanded his gift back.
He ripped up the check and threw it on the floor in front of people, and for who knows what reason, told MIL what was said.
I confronted my girls and said what they did was dumb. They should have never just assumed that because she can’t speak English he can’t either, or that someone else wouldn’t overhear and tell her.
I said they were out of line and if they want to talk trash about her, go do it in the bathroom or something. I said they really let me down when their role was to make my day better.
All four of them feel I overreacted, and it was an honest mistake. They think I was too harsh with my delivery, and that I was only mad about the money (not true) and I shouldn’t be mad because they were defending me.
They are now disappointed in me, and even my mom is backing them and says I was too harsh.”
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