People Welcome Feedback On Their "Am I The Jerk" Stories
36. AITJ For Being A Bitter Jerk Toward My Former Boss And Coworkers?
” “I was at a job for two years, and after my first year the company I worked for began shuffling our management around multiple times and people on my team would take advantage of the situation and not do work and no one would be held accountable.
As our late person, if I wanted time off, I had to find my own coverage in order to take it. If I couldn’t find coverage I got no time off.
After our most recent change in management, the two people we lost in the 6 months prior, the new manager chose not to replace the open spots and use them for her other team, resulting in more work being spread over much fewer people.
As a result, I worked extra hours to get my share of work and that of my coworkers done as requested by management. In short, this led to me being very burnt out, and upon review, discovered my management was altering my hours so I didn’t get overtime for additional hours worked, I had my coworkers complain when I had to take a few days off because I got sick in a group chat complaining that it wasn’t fair that I was allowed to take time off when they had no staffing.
I found a new job and quit. My last day was just over two weeks ago.
Fast forward to the last 48 hours when I have been contacted by all of my former coworkers and manager asking questions about my current job, my pay, and my manager if I would consider returning if they were to make an offer (I offered them a chance to counter offer when I presented my offer from the company I’m with now and they declined).
I gave my former boss the same list of what I wanted when she had a one-on-one with me 4 months ago and haven’t heard back. My former teammates have also told me that they have gotten inundated with work to the point where other teams have had to step in and assist, how much they hate the job, how awful the pay is, and how they didn’t realize how much I did and how sorry they were, etc.
I proceeded to tell them that this is exactly what they asked for when they said I was lazy for wanting to rotate my late nights and ask for a half hour each day to simply process my work (a lot of my job involved taking phone calls and reasoning to emails in addition to some processing work).
I even told one of my former coworkers that the new company I work with would terminate her very quickly if she was to get hired and continue the behaviors she had when we worked together.
I was told I was being a bitter jerk, and I can see why, but I feel I have the right to be open and honest since my team and management did this to themselves.
If I wasn’t treated the way I was I never would have left.
So am I the jerk?
35. AITJ For Asking My Fiancé's Sister To Pay $500 In Rent?
“My fiancé and I recently let his sister move in with us along with her son and 2 dogs. Keep in mind I have 2 young daughters and 3 cats. Her reason for moving in is because she couldn’t afford the apartment she was living in. Her monthly expenses were close to 2k. We’ve talked about bills and she’s agreed to pay a fair amount.
So what I’ve decided to do was split all the bills 3 ways counting her, myself, and my fiancé.
My fiancé is the only one who works while I’m a stay-at-home mom and in nursing school. She thinks this amount is too expensive. She’s kinda bad at managing her finances. She’s the type of person who constantly buys things to impress others or has to have the latest things for her and her son.
She is a single mother who receives child support and works full-time. She’s also the type of parent who parents from the other room. Her son could be in the living room or dining room playing and because she doesn’t want to be downstairs she’ll be in her room lying in bed watching TV or on her phone.
Her son is 7 but is autistic. There are times when he doesn’t get his way he will hit or push you. So to avoid this sister-in-law gives him anything he wants but because of this when we tell him no, it results in us getting yelled at or hit/pushed by him. Whenever he would get upset about something she’d hear him, yell from her room upstairs and ask him what was wrong instead of coming down and checking on him.
The only time she comes down is if she hears one of us trying to correct him or tell him what he’s doing behavioral-wise is not nice. On the days she works, we help out with watching her son.
We also have assistance with food that we also share with her. We also help take care of her dogs which my fiancé and her have fought about because she barely takes care of them.
She and my fiance have argued a couple of times because there were times when she didn’t clean up after her son or herself and would disregard other people in the house saying things like I have to think about what’s best for me and my son.
Back to bills, she thinks the cable/internet bill is too expensive and has said that she is going to use other people’s subscriptions to get out of paying for it.
This bill is included in the 500$ a month. So AITJ for asking for 500 in rent? Is it too expensive ?”
34. AITJ For Getting Rid Of My Husband's Mother?
“So my (28 f) husband (31 m) had to spend two months in a different state for work. He came back 9 days ago. I am obviously thrilled he’s back and I’ve missed him a lot.
I was hoping we would be able to spend some time together just the two of us. However, his mom (56 f) came over when he was supposed to come home. I was slightly annoyed but I know she was just excited for her son to be back. However, she never left. Like I was prepared to deal with her being there for a day or two but no 9 days.
Because she’s been here for nine days we haven’t had a second of time together. She insists on staying here instead of in a hotel. (For the record she lives an hour away.) The guest room is right next to ours and the walls are thin. When the two of us go out she comes with us.
Or makes one of us stay with her bc otherwise we would be ‘bad hosts’. She follows us around the house constantly. We want to cuddle and watch movies she’s sitting in the armchair. We want to go to a romantic restaurant better make that a table for three. We have even left her in the living room to go ‘chat’ in our room and she follows us.
Earlier today I just asked her to leave. (Even though both of us have been hinting that she needs to go.) She kept saying she wasn’t ready to go yet and wanted more time with her son. I tried telling her we wanted some alone time and she kept insisting that she join us.
Finally, I snapped and said ‘Since you seem to be oblivious, I will put this bluntly. I want to sleep with your son. If you don’t want to see or hear then you need to leave.’ (I know this isn’t the classiest response ever but I was frustrated.)
Anyway, she yelled at me but eventually left. We finally got to have our ‘alone time.’ But now she is blowing up both of our phones.
She is saying that I am disgusting and have no respect for her, her son, or myself. She keeps telling my husband that he shouldn’t be with someone so crude and how dare he let me speak to her like that. I’m sure you get the idea. I know that what I said was really inappropriate so AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Telling My Mom Why No One Wants To Go On Vacations With Her?
“My mom’s just a narcissist & a Karen. Whenever she goes on a vacation, she’s always complaining. ‘I miss home,’ ‘I hate the food here,’ ‘The server is too slow’ even when they’re not, ‘The bed has stains’ when she insisted on choosing the cheapest hotel… She has to spend 15+ minutes on one spot taking pictures, and she’ll do it again a few feet away.
She takes no one else’s considerations when choosing a place to eat and what to do even after asking everyone else. Then she acts like everyone should be grateful that we’re on a vacation and she ‘paid’ for it.
I’ve been refusing to go on a vacation with her since I was 18 and have been mostly no contact with my parents for other reasons as well since I’ve moved out.
My siblings also have had low/no contact with our mom, and partially our dad because he refuses to divorce her.
Then out of nowhere, I got a call from an unknown number. I answered it since I wasn’t busy and it turned out to be my mom. She didn’t bother asking how I’d been and started complaining no one wanted to see her or go on vacations with her.
I hung up on her after she said that. She called again so I declined and blocked the number. Then she tried from another number so I answered the call and immediately told her why no one wanted to see her and we cut her off from our lives. I blocked the new number and she never bothered me again.
But now her side of the family is harassing me about how harsh I am to someone who raised me. They fell silent when I said they’re always complaining about how my mom treats them… Except my grandma who’s telling me that I’m a jerk for saying that plus making my mom upset. I just told her that she’s honestly the same as my mom.
AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Telling The Bartender That I Tipped Her?
“My husband and I didn’t feel like cooking the other night so I suggested going to the local restaurant to grab a beer and quick dinner.
He’s a regular there and goes about once a week with his friend. I told him I had cash so I would pick up the tab. We sat at the bar. My husband told me ‘We have to make sure to tip her well because she’s the new bartender on the day I and friend go’.
I work a tipped base customer service job as well so that was fine by me. I get it.
We ordered dinner and a couple of beers each during our stay. She wasn’t rude to me but she just didn’t really acknowledge my presence. Only asked my husband if the food was ok.
Only asked my husband if he needed a box when his plate was practically empty and mine was half full. My husband got big smiles with laughs and I got a dead face and monotone. I still answered politely even if she didn’t technically ask me a question.
The tab was about $60. I left that plus a $30 tip.
All cash. I work for tips, my husband’s a regular, we’ll both be back and even if she gave me weird vibes, I always had a drink and my food was great.
This is where I might be the jerk. After she cashed us out she leaned on the bar with her back towards me and said to my husband ‘Thank you so much for doing that!
It was so nice!’ I was really annoyed by this.
While the back of her head was ten inches from my face I loudly said ‘I paid the tab and I tipped you. You’re welcome’. My ‘You’re welcome!’ Was definitely and purposely sarcastic. I know she heard me. She just walked away and never looked back my way.
We left right after.
My husband told me on the ride home that my comment was uncalled for. He goes in there a lot and I embarrassed him. My husband is great but he is oblivious. In his mind she wasn’t rude, we never had an empty glass, and our dinners were great. He thinks it’s just because she assumed he paid when I did.
He’s technically right but I work in the same environment. I always treat people the same… not just the person who I assume paid and/or tipped.
So AITJ?”
31. AITJ For Being Moved By My Sister's Sweet Gesture?
“I (26 M) was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML) less than a month ago. I knew I was going to lose my hair, but wasn’t expecting it to come out as quickly as it did.
My hair wasn’t long, but it was a bit longer than a lot of men wear their hair, & was long enough that the hair that was falling out got matted in the hair I still had.
For the first time since I was around 4 years old, I needed help brushing my hair.
My brother, Dawson (28 M) grabbed a stool out of the kitchen & brought it to the bathroom & tried to untangle my hair.
Our sister, Quinn (9 F), came to see what was going on. She sat on the floor next to the sink & watched while Dawson tried to get a brush through my hair. Quinn & Dawson both tried to converse with me a couple of times, but I was too out of it to talk. Quinn got up, put her hand on my arm & said ‘It’s okay, Cason.
It’s okay.’ (She’s an absolute sweetheart).
After 30 minutes of Dawson trying to brush my hair, I told him to shave it off. Dawson got out the scissors & clippers, & started cutting my hair. I wasn’t upset about losing my hair, I was upset that people would know from looking at me that I was sick.
I didn’t want to look or feel weak. When he finished shaving my hair off, Quinn gave me a hug & told me I still looked great (Again, a sweetheart). She asked me if I was sad I had to cut my hair, & I explained to her that I wasn’t upset about my hair, but that people would be able to tell that I had cancer.
She said that she wanted to shave her head, too, so I wouldn’t be alone. I told her that she didn’t have to, & that I’d be fine (basically just assured her she didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to), but she was insistent that it was what she wanted.
Obviously, Dawson & I told her to ask our parents.
After she got the green light from our parents to go ahead, Quinn ran back to the bathroom, handed me the scissors, & asked me to shave her head for her. After making sure she was certain this was what she wanted, I cut her hair off at the base of her ponytail.
She was grinning from ear to ear the whole time, meanwhile, I couldn’t keep myself from tearing up.
After I’d finished buzzing off the rest of her hair, I picked her up & hugged her, & broke down crying. I was just so overwhelmed by how sweet & selfless she is. For a 9-year-old to do something like that for someone else was crazy to me.
A while later, my dad was helping her send her hair off to donate, & they were talking about how she felt about her hair. She kept going on & on about how happy she was that she did it, & jokingly added ‘I made Cason cry’. My dad pulled me aside, & was mad at me for not pulling myself together better than I did.
He said that I was ‘acting like a man-child’, & told me that I shouldn’t be bothered by losing my hair, it’s not like I’m a woman. He said that I could’ve confused/upset Quinn by crying. Dawson told him he was being a jerk, but I feel like he has a point.”
30. AITJ For Telling My Brother-In-Law To Shut Up About His Late Wife?
“My (32 F) BIL (40 M) was married to his high school sweetheart, but she died tragically about 10 years ago. He and my sister (37 F) got together 4 years ago, and they have been married for 1 year.
My BIL constantly compares my sister to his wife who passed. These are fake names, but say my sister’s name is Amy and his dead wife’s name is Betty.
He will say things like ‘Amy is not much of a cook, but Betty always makes the best steak. I’d do anything to eat her cooking again.’
Or my sister has flat, straight, brown hair that she is somewhat insecure about. And my BIL will say ‘Betty always had such beautiful blonde hair.
It was so thick and shiny.’ My sister has told me that these comments make her feel incredibly insecure and unloved, but she doesn’t want to bring it up and seemingly insult his dead wife.
The other day, I went to lunch with my BIL, sister, and my two brothers and their partners.
My BIL made a passing comment about how he wanted a dog but my sister is horribly allergic. He said ‘Betty was such a dog person. She would let me have a dog if she was still around.’ Then he moved on like it was nothing.
I didn’t confront him in front of everything, but after lunch, I pulled him aside and told him to ‘shut up about Betty.’ He said that I was being really rude and that he was just honoring her memory by talking about her.
I said he could talk about her, but he didn’t need to compare my sister to her ever. He said that the comparison was natural in his mind because they were both his wives and the comparisons were usually funny and lighthearted.
I really disagreed with him, but I had to leave it there because he had somewhere to be.
But it’s been really bothering me, so I wanted to ask here, AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Giving My Sister's Kid An Apple And A Sandwich?
“So recently my (22 M) sister (27 F) asked me to babysit her 5-year-old daughter for the day as she and her friends wanted to go out for the day. That was fine and I said yes as I was free for the day.
However, when I came to her house, she told me that I wasn’t allowed to give her lunch. I asked why and she told me it’s ‘setting habits for the future’ so her daughter can have a ‘beautiful slender figure’. She also said that it’s part of her own ‘beauty program’ where her daughter is not allowed to have lunch in a day because she doesn’t want her to become overweight.
I told her it was ridiculous to not allow a FIVE-YEAR-OLD to have lunch, she just said whatever and left.
About three hours after my sister had left, her daughter (let’s call her Zoe) started saying she was very hungry. There were still around 2-3 hours until my sister came back so, I gave Zoe an apple and made her a sandwich to keep her happy because it didn’t feel right to leave her hungry like that.
When my sister got back, I told her that Zoe was hungry so I gave her some food to eat and that I had only given her an apple and a sandwich. However, my sister was very irritated by this, and said that I ‘knew what she had requested’ but that I was ‘purposely not doing what I told you to do just because you want to wind me up’.
I told her, that she was being a terrible parent by refusing to give her daughter lunch.
This made my sister even angrier, she said that it was ‘her parenting style’ and that she ‘only wants the best for Zoe’ and that it was ‘not your child so you have no say in this’. Eventually, she started shouting and made me leave.
AITJ?”
28. AITJ For Telling Our Kids Why They Won't Be Coming To My Wife's Family Villa With Us?
“My ex-wife Lucy and I have 3 kids (16 F twins and 10 M), we divorced 9 years ago after the youngest was born because she came out as lesbian, no hard feelings. I married my now wife Juli 5 years ago after going out for 2, we have 2 kids, (4 M and 2 F), Juli was a common friend during our marriage and almost as soon as we started to date, Lucy confessed that she had been in love with my wife for several years now and since Juli is straight and I formed a life with her, it stained our co-parenting and overall relationship.
Now thanks to that, she has made it very difficult for me to have my kids during my breaks or on special occasions. If I want to do long holidays with them for a month or so, with some of our days trading, she says no. If I want to have them for my birthday, some random off days, or my parents’ birthdays, she says no. It’s really difficult for me because I truly adore my kids and I want to spend as much time with them as I can.
My wife and I have to travel to Europe around June for a month and a half to care for her mother, my plan was to take my kids during this time because her parents own a villa close to a small town that looks, just like my daughters would say, ‘magical and medieval’, I’ve been there twice (for a week or less, as an emergency trip) and it does look like something that would appear in GOT, I know my kids would love it, Juli’s mother isn’t bedridden but we have to make sure she’s okay at all times, this can mean being at the villa with her teaching us some of their family traditions, or touring the surrounding towns, and with the European train, I can take them to France, Italy, etc.
As you can guess, Lucy said no and wasn’t willing to discuss it further, I had to tell my kids that I couldn’t take them and that maybe next time (I didn’t mention or involve my ex-wife) and they became bad at me, I endured it as much as I could, but when my son asked if I preferred my ‘new family’ over them and if Juli doesn’t like them anymore, it broke me and I said that I asked their mother if we could trade custody days so they could come with me, and she said no, I explained that it would make me AND JULIE very happy if they could come, but that we can’t go against their mother wishes.
She called me yesterday and called me a jerk for turning the kids against them because our son cried with her, she allowed me to take them and threw some passive-aggressive comments. But I’m confused, I don’t think I turned them against them, they’re confused and hurt so I said the truth. AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Wanting To Buy My Sister-In-Law's Dream House?
“My husband (M 40) and I (F 30) have been looking for our forever home for more than a year.
As is the forever home we really have few musts.
Recently it came to our attention that one house (that has many of the musts) might come out to the market as the lady that was living there sadly passed away.
The house, I must say, is close to my MIL (who bless her heart is a sweetheart) and my SIL (F 36) who is the ‘special sister’ always got her way out of everything as she had few ‘limitations’ (nothing super serious) and therefore she tends to have the last word on every family activity for example, and uses it all the time!
Most of the time I don’t care and give up on whatever she wants bc it’s a big deal for her and I tend to not care for many things.
That being said, out of a sudden she heard that we might be interested in buying the house, and she said that the house has been her dream house for almost 20y.
So my husband told her 1/2 joking 1/2 real that then we should all prepare to bid against each other and let the biggest wallet win.
Apparently she didn’t get it very well and then she proceeded to text me to tell me that she was saddened to hear that we wanted the house. That the house was her dream house since she was 16 and fantasised about it together with her dad (RIP), that for us was just a house but for her was way more.
That if we would get it she would never forgive us.
I told her that it was not even on the market yet. That I didn’t see this necessary, but if it’d and we were able to afford it we would for sure place an offer for it.
She said that she wanted to stay close to her mom and take care of her.
But the mom does everything for her! She walks her dog every day. She does the laundry of her whole family (4), irons it, and babysits every time that is necessary because she doesn’t want any strangers babysitting her ‘special’ boys.
So I told her that at the beginning saw the fact that they were close as pro, as my family is my home country and they were the only family here, that we wanted to help out eventually (when the time comes) to take care of my MIL instead of giving her extra work!
So she started calling me selfish and a backstabber, that she was asking me to back off for her. I told her not because it was also my family’s happiness and her dreams and memories were not bigger than mine or my husband’s and I wouldn’t answer her the way she deserved out of respect for my husband and my MIL.
And that she should be careful with her words because she was damaging the relationship WHEN THE HOUSE WAS NOT EVEN ON SALE YET! And she already lived 2 houses away!
At the end, I told her that if the moment would come she was always allowed to bid on the house as everybody else had the right to.
But she kept on going… and now it has become a whole family problem.
AITJ for not backing off for my SIL’s ‘dream house’?”
26. AITJ For Disagreeing With My Sister Over Fries?
“It was my (22 F) sister’s (19 F) birthday last week and my parents (53 M & 53 F) invited me over to their house to have a birthday dinner for her. My sister still lives with them while I moved out 2 years ago.
I never had a good relationship with her and we fought A LOT, which was one of the reasons I decided to move out. Now we rarely fight but we are still not that close.
When I went over for dinner we decided to get burgers. My sister suggested a place she likes but I said I don’t really like it, since I’m a vegetarian and their veggie burger is not good.
I suggested a different place but she insisted on the first one so I said okay.
When we were about to order, my dad and I thought it would be best to get each 4 burgers with the side fries. My sister said that we should get the burgers without fries and order 2 separate large portions of fries because they make the fries better when they’re not with burgers.
I said that this makes literally no sense, and the fries would be the same. My sister snapped at me and said that if I didn’t like her idea I should just get up and leave. My mother then started yelling at me, saying that I was trying to ruin my sister’s birthday by disagreeing with her twice about the food.
I told her to stop making such a big deal out of this and she finally dropped it. We ended up doing what my sister wanted and the rest of the night went pretty well.
The next day, my mother came over to my place and said she wanted to talk. She said that she was very mad at me for trying to start an argument with my sister on her birthday.
I told her that I didn’t think she would get upset about something so small and that I was just telling her my opinion. She said that if I wanted to come to their house again, I have to stop disagreeing with my sister because she has a bad temper and gets upset very easily.
I told her that this wasn’t my fault and my sister should be the one working on fixing her bad temper.
After an hour of arguing we decided that it would be best if I didn’t go over to their house for the next six months. Now I feel like they don’t want me to be part of the family anymore and I feel kinda bad.
AITJ for disagreeing with my sister and ‘trying’ to ruin her birthday?
Edit: I suggested a very similar place to the one she wanted, both burger restaurants, just with more vegetarian options and in my opinion better food in general. I thought she would like it better too! I absolutely didn’t want to cause an argument about that!”
25. AITJ For Not Wanting To See My Grandma?
“I (19 M) was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (blood cancer) in March 2011. My dad (55 M) had depression at the time and did not stay at home but with my aunt (53 F).
In a desperate bid, my mom (45 F) would have Gma (grandma, 60+ F) look after us three siblings, me, bro (17 M), sis (16 F). My treatment lasted until July 2014 at which point I had spent 1-1.5 years in remission. Throughout the first year or two of treatment, my dad still had no role to play in caring for me.
For the first 6 months, he didn’t even know that I had cancer as he didn’t pick up our phone calls, didn’t meet us, or even that none of the relatives told him.
Gma was basically the matriarch of the family at the time. She knew where he was and refused to tell him saying he’ll find out when he needs to.
Anyhow when Gma would come to take care of us she would isolate me from my siblings and essentially only take care of them. My meds, pain, and basically any necessity would be handled by Mom when she got back. But there were some instances that left their mark on me:
1) One day I asked if my dad would show up if I happened to die and my Gma said I’ll be lucky if she lets him show up.
2) She told my mom to stay away from me and to put me up for adoption in front of me several times.
3) She refused to call me by my name and would just refer to me as ‘you’ or ‘him’ when talking to someone.
4) She’d lash out at me if I cried from pain saying I’m acting.
Over time the memories built up in the back of my head and currently I’m diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and PTSD; I get panic attacks in most stressful situations. I can’t stand to be near her or most of my paternal extended family. I’m in therapy and on antidepressants and the most basic coping mechanism I have is literally making my friends family.
It also comes out to abandonment, self-esteem, trust issues, and multiple personality tendencies due to repressing emotions.
Gma was recently diagnosed with Stage 3 Ovarian Cancer and treatment isn’t very effective. Every adult in the family, excluding my mom and my grown-up cousins, wants me to go see her because I haven’t and she asks about me.
I outright refuse to cite: I know the demon that’s going to come out and go ballistic on her and that I owe nothing to her. My dad especially insists that she’s in pain and it’s my duty as her grandson. I lashed out at him that I was also in pain and still am but he wasn’t there for it and she’s the reason why.
Even after all has been said I do know the pain she’s going through. Her doctors are also giving up on her and said to try and respect her last wishes. It just comes down to basic humanity to at least show some remorse for a person so close to death. At one point a part of me even wanted to celebrate her diagnosis but I resolved those thoughts in therapy.
All in all, I’m being very disrespectful to her so AITJ for not wanting to see my grandma cause of how she treated me?”
24. AITJ For Not "Trying" To Get A Job?
“This summer I (17) am expected to get a job. I have really bad anxiety and also do not want to work so the idea of applying was really not appealing to me, but my mom consistently reminded me about it until she got tired of nagging and told me that she would leave me alone but that if I didn’t get a job by the time I went to camp, I would face ‘consequences.’ I applied to three jobs but heard back from none of them.
I did what I was expected to, but I was clearly not enthusiastic about it.
Fast forward to the car ride back from camp where as soon as I’m alone, my mom informs me that since I didn’t get a job, she is going to take away both my computer and my phone until 7 pm every night.
I am not allowed to use any devices past 9 p.m. I said that I thought the consequences were only for if I wasn’t ‘trying’ to get a job since it’s not my fault I got ghosted. She says it doesn’t matter. (For additional context the camp I was at was a writing camp. I am a writer.
I write ON MY COMPUTER) (I also plan on teaching so I’m not reliant on my writing).
A couple of days later I wrote her a very thorough text explaining how I felt it was an unfair punishment and how I felt that she was trying to control me and didn’t trust me to do things by myself.
Her response was just thanking me for expressing my opinions and that she’d talk to my dad about it but she’d rather talk in person. It’s now been another few days after that and every time I ask if we can talk about it she has another excuse for why not. I’m beginning to feel like she’s just trying to put off the conversation until I actually get a job so she can avoid acknowledging any of my points.
I’ve now applied to 8 jobs and none of them are following up, and I still plan on applying to several more. I also can’t access my email or call anyone until my phone unlocks at 7 p.m., so I don’t know if there’s anything in there. She also knows that most of my friends use Discord so I’m effectively cut off from them too, as well as my writing.
The only reason she wants me to work is so I can have money to spend when I go to college next year – we are an upper-middle-class family and we don’t struggle financially so anything I make wouldn’t even go to her. I’ve been trying not to seem visibly upset about this so I don’t annoy her further (except that I started crying when she told me LOL) but I really don’t think it’s a fair punishment.
Edit: My anxiety is diagnosed and I didn’t bring it up to excuse my behavior just to provide context. I also have ADHD (diagnosed). I also made it seem like I don’t want to work at all which isn’t true, I understand the need for it and I am more than willing to do so.
And I had a part-time job for several years until recently when my mom made me give it up so my older sister could have it instead. I’m aware I’m very privileged and that I’m lucky to be in a position where I don’t have to work to sustain myself; I just think that her punishment is more severe than warranted when I have been putting a lot of effort into this.”
23. AITJ For Leaving A Family Vacation Because Of My Dad?
“My family was planning a road trip and we set off yesterday. This morning my dad had a huge angry fit over something stupid. We had gotten to the hotel late the prior night because of traffic and didn’t get to bed till 1 a.m. But we had a 7 a.m. booking for a group boating tour.
So my sisters (15 and 13 respectively) and I (I’m 19) all decided we wanted to sleep in since we only had 5 hours of sleep before my dad woke everyone up to get ready. We would rather have a good night’s sleep and enjoy the afternoon and evening activities than ruin the whole day being exhausted.
My dad got angry at us and screamed at us about how he spent so much on the trip and how we were not even having fun and he didn’t pay all this for us to sleep all day.
I said I wasn’t trying to sleep all day, I just needed a normal night’s sleep if I was gonna be awake for any of the activities. And I’d rather be awake and having fun for three activities than totally brain-dead for four.
He yelled at me for back talk and screamed in my face spittle flying to get in the car with my mom and my brother.
That’s when it hit me, I’m 19, I have my own place, and I don’t have to do whatever he screams or be scared anymore.
So I said okay, I was just stopping in the hotel lobby for a coffee. I went there and booked an Uber to the Amtrak station and luckily it was there fast before my family saw it.
I texted my dad that I was heading out, I had a way to get home, and I wasn’t okay with being around him when he couldn’t keep control of his anger. (That’s something I said almost infinite times before but this was the first time I actually had the ability to actually leave for more than a night at a friend’s.
My mom called me and was begging me to come back because my dad had worked hard on the trip. I told her that literally all the work my dad had to do, and this was an easy one, was not scream in my face. It’s so easy I’ve not screamed in anyone’s face since I was a child.
And if he couldn’t do that one easy thing he knows he needs to do it doesn’t sound like he put much work in at all.
She was upset with me saying I know he has trouble under stress, especially around money, and I said that he could have ‘trouble’ if he wanted but I didn’t want to be around for it.
She asked where I was going and I lied and said a friend was getting me. I had actually bought a train ticket home.
I feel conflicted because while I am trying to hold myself to this promise that I made to myself that I’ll only be around my dad when he is able to control his temper because I don’t wanna be subjected to that… My older brother and younger sisters are still on the trip and I feel bad because this was supposed to be a chance for me to reconnect with them after a year of college and to hopefully mend fences with my dad.
And I feel like I sabotaged that.
AITJ for bailing on the family vacation?”
22. AITJ For Telling My Mother-In-Law Not To Meddle With My Relationship With My Stepdaughter?
“My stepdaughter is 15. I have known her since she was 7 years old. Our relationship works for the two of us. When I first met her she still had her mom so I was never going to be mom, and honestly, her mom wouldn’t have liked that.
We did develop our own relationship that is meaningful to both of us. Her mom died when she was 11 and it did leave a lasting mark on our relationship. Sometimes she just needs some space from me and finds it hard to have me and not her mom. This is normally on her mom’s anniversary and her mom’s birthday.
It’s something she has spoken to her grief therapist about, but she’s never not felt like she needed that space. I respect that. So does my husband and we are teaching our kids this as well.
My MIL hates it. She has commented since that very first year. But she also comments on the fact my stepdaughter doesn’t call me mom and how she will say my husband is her parent but I’m ‘someone different’.
My husband and I have both told MIL that my stepdaughter should not be pushed or forced to do something different since she’s respectful and kind and our relationship is good.
My stepdaughter’s mom’s birthday was a week ago and my stepdaughter chose to spend the night before and the day with her mom’s family.
MIL told me I should be there for her and shouldn’t let her run away from me. My husband was at work and I was not having it so I told her my relationship with my stepdaughter is none of her business and she needs to stop forcing what she feels is best onto everyone else.
Of course, she didn’t like that. She told me how her granddaughter is treated is her business and I have no right to talk to her like that.
My husband told her when he got home from work, and had spoken to me, that she was in the wrong but a lot of the family felt like I should be willing to answer to her and be kind to her because she’s looking out for her grandchild and loves and cares about her like I will never understand.
AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Refusing To Leave The House?
“For almost 4 years straight at this point, whenever my (24 F) sister’s significant other comes over, my (21 M) older sister ‘forces’ us out of the house for an hour. You can draw your conclusions from there.
What I mean by force is basically she tells both my parents whenever this guy (who she still hasn’t introduced to us yet for some reason) is coming over… and they just do with it, no matter what time or day it is and no questions asked. Imagine just sitting in the car with your family for an hour straight doing nothing.
What sucks is that despite me being a 21 legal adult, I’m still the youngest in the hierarchy of my family, which somehow gives all 3 of them authority over me. Whenever I’ve attempted to stand up they just gang up and double down (sometimes yell).
It’s not the fact that I have to leave for an hour and then come back, it’s the principle that my sister could just disrupt and force me away from whatever productive thing I’m doing (studying, working or even just resting) and get away with it.
I’m not in a good financial position right now to move out, so I unfortunately have to stay at home for the time being.
I reached a boiling point and enough was enough. I decided to see what would happen if I just plant my butt on my couch and just say No. Didn’t need to explain why to her or anything.
Throughout the entire afternoon, all my sister did was scream, pound, and call me names while I quietly stayed seated and wouldn’t leave. She later tried apologizing to get on my good side and then asking me to leave again, I still said no and she went back to screaming.
My parents got involved demanding me to say why and I told them I don’t need to give them a reason (even though I have a hundred).
I’ve even on occasions in the passed mentioned if I have a due assignment for uni etc., but they wouldn’t care regardless.
That evening my family (all 3) prematurely came into my room STILL trying to get me to say yes to leaving the following day. I still continued to say no until eventually they gave up and left my room with one of them remarking ‘You’ve changed!’ before slamming my door.
This is a bit unrelated but on my birthday card, one of them wrote ‘Don’t ever change’ in one of the paragraphs. So I’ve changed all because I said No for once? Was I being unreasonable?”
20. AITJ For Posting Photos Of My Baby On Social Media?
“I (28 F) became pregnant last year at the same time as my work friend (31 F). We were excited to share our pregnancy with one another.
She unfortunately lost her baby at 14 weeks and I was absolutely heartbroken for her, and also scared for myself because ‘what if that happens to me?’
Since then she started to slowly not talk to me or include me in work things that she normally would have. But I totally understood, I’m sure it was really hard to see someone like myself every day reminding her of what she lost. I took no offense.
During the entire pregnancy, I was very mindful of posting ‘bump pictures’ or updates on social media, where we were also friends. And I certainly did not talk about pregnancy or the baby at all if she was around.
A few months later, I chose to transfer to another department for better hours/pay, I still talk to a few coworkers from my last job and am still friends with most of them on social media.
At 36 weeks I realized I had barely acknowledged my pregnancy on social media or posted any pictures and was a little sad that I didn’t get to enjoy my pregnancy for fear of ‘rubbing it in.’ So I posted a bit more than I did earlier on.
Cut to now, my baby is almost 8 months and honestly went back to posting like I normally would have, sharing his milestones and some quick pictures, maybe posting once or twice a week.
The majority of my family is on social media and they love to see the updates and pictures. This whole time my old work friend had also been posting updates about infertility and needing IVF.
Recently she had posted about an upcoming IVF transfer date and asked for prayers. I was mindful not to post any pictures that day (even though it was his 8-month ‘milestone’ picture) to my actual social media account and just posted it to my story instead.
I honestly didn’t even think my friend would be on social media on her transfer day.
A few days later I had two other coworkers from my previous department reach out to me separately to tell me how insensitive I was for posting so many pictures, especially for posting on her transfer day. They basically berated me for boasting about my baby and not having compassion for my coworker.
I never unfriended my work friend because I really do like her. But she also hasn’t unfriended me either, if I am such a reminder of her loss why still be friends with me on social media? I’m a first-time mom and of course, every little thing he does is exciting for me. I love him with all my heart, but honestly, the guilt of potentially hurting her and wanting to still post about my life is really getting to me.
AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Not Wanting To Talk To A Stranger?
“I’m (19 F) American studying abroad in the UK, and I keep running into this cyclist guy (late 50s) on the main street of the town.
I’m not surprised that I keep seeing him on the main street since it’s in the center of the shopping district, and it’s probably some sort of cycling route for him.
But he continually tries to make conversation with me, which I find irritating.
The first time, I was sitting on a bench around midnight watching The Voice on my phone. He was riding by, got off his bike, and started talking to me. I was clearly watching a video and not interested in talking.
Him: What are you doing?
Me: Trying to watch a video.
Him: Do you want to get a beer with me?
Me (lying): I’m 17.
Him: Okay, do you want to get a Coca-Cola with me?
Me: No.
Him: Why?
Me: I don’t know, just don’t.
The second time, I was walking home from dinner at like 1 a.m., enjoying the peace and quiet, when he again came and started annoying me.
Him: Do you have no friends? Why are you alone?
(I took this as an insult).
Me: Because I like to not be bothered by people.
Him: Are you in a relationship?
Me (lying): Yes.
Him: Why did he leave you alone?
Me: Because I like to walk in peace.
Then he gave me his number, which I didn’t want and didn’t call.
The third time, I was sitting in the plaza again with my friend at midnight, eating ice cream. I have since thought about it and realized Americans are more friendly than British people supposedly, and he’s British, so maybe British people don’t understand polite rejection and I need to be more blunt next time.
He got off his bike again.
Him (confused): You didn’t call me.
Me: Because you’re very annoying. Are there no other 60-year-olds to talk to? Why do you keep trying to talk to a teenager?
He looked shocked, then scowled and said some British phrase I don’t understand and biked away.
My friend said I’m incredibly rude to a nice old guy.
I don’t think it’s my fault that British guys don’t get that I’m being polite because that’s part of American culture, and they need me to bluntly state my disinterest the British way. AITJ because I had to resort to bluntness to get the British guy to realize I don’t like him?”
18. AITJ For Pointing Out My Boss' Hypocrisy?
“I (23 m) am a manager at a popular fast food chain in Australia, and my boss/restaurant manager (40-something M) recently gave me a written warning for something that I did technically deserve but that’s not really the issue here.
So about 4 times a day we need to perform what’s called a cookout at specific times (where we temp the meat that gets cooked at everyday part period) and it gets entered into a website form and must be entered in the specific time block or else it doesn’t let you do it for that specific cookout (I’m not sure if this makes sense to everyone but I’m happy to clarify further if needed).
Well, yesterday we were very busy at one stage and I did perform the cookout itself but I didn’t have time to enter it into the form on the site, so I explained to my boss that I did perform the cookout but didn’t have time to enter it into the site as I was stuck serving customers for the whole period.
Well, he decides to go off at me and write me up because it’s a health violation and when we get audited they check these things to see if they’ve been missed. I’m okay with this as it was my mistake but the issue lies below.
Maybe a month or two ago I noticed on one of his shifts he actually managed to miss a cookout too.
I didn’t say anything at the time, but I brought it up to him yesterday and I said ‘So are you going to give yourself a written warning too for the time you missed a cookout a month ago?’ He got very red in the face and started angrily denying that it happened, so I pulled up the history on the website and showed him exactly where he missed it and I confirmed he was working also.
I also said, ‘I’m okay to be disciplined for something I’ve done wrong but I’m not going to put up with you being a hypocrite’. After that, he walked away and has been cold with me ever since, treating me differently compared to the rest of the team.
Another manager told me I should’ve just shut up and said it won’t happen again but hypocrisy really grinds my gears, AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Not Wanting My Sister To Come Over To My House Anymore?
“Recently my partner (21 M) and I (21 F) decided to move in together after being in a long-distance relationship for over 3 years. We got this nice one-bedroom house that is affordable on both our current salaries. The one thing my partner laid on the table is that he doesn’t want my siblings over at the house all the time and he doesn’t want to be babysitting and cleaning up after them.
I told him that this was fair and I was tired of taking care of them when my mother didn’t feel like caring for her other 4 kids.
I moved in about a week ago and haven’t had time to really set up my house the way I want it but my mother insisted on bringing my siblings over to see it.
My partner (who hasn’t moved in yet) and I both agreed that it was okay so I let them come over. I let two of my brothers (12 and 7) spend the night and then my sister (10) and my other brother (5) stay the next night. My mom asked me while I was working if my sister could come over early and hang out at my house and I said yes without thinking.
A few hours after my sister and oldest brother walked into my work and my sister had my lipstick smeared all over her cheek and hoodie sleeves as if I hadn’t noticed. I asked if she had gone through my makeup and she lied to me saying our mother let her put on lipstick but I knew it was mine based on the shade of the smear.
I told her and my mom that she couldn’t stay the night for violating my house rules and for going through my personal belongings.
My mother blew up on me saying it wasn’t an equal punishment and I needed to be nicer to my sister since she’s been being bullied at school. I stood my ground and said she couldn’t come over to my house anymore if she couldn’t respect my house rules about cleaning up after themselves and keeping their grubby paws off my stuff.
My mother is beyond livid and won’t even let me go into our family’s business until my shift on Tuesday. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened and my mother will always make me feel and look like the bad guy for setting my own boundaries as an adult.
So I ask again, AITJ for telling my mom she couldn’t bring her kids over to my house anymore?
For a little bit more clarification:
1: My partner hasn’t moved in with me yet he will be moving in on the 28th of September.
2: It’s not like we don’t want my siblings to come over at all, especially the younger ones.
3: All of my siblings are my step-siblings and they’ve been raised very differently than I was and I have always been treated differently.
4: My mom grew up as the oldest cousin so she wants me to be like her and just take care of my siblings because it’s something she had to do.
5: I have set my boundaries many times with my mom and all of my siblings. The only ones who respect my boundaries are my brothers.”
16. AITJ For Telling My Sister-In-Law That We Are Not The Same?
“I’m primarily a stay-at-home mom but work a few hours a week from home on some freelance work. My husband works traditional 9-6 hours so I’m the one home with our kids and doing most of the childcare.
My BIL (husband’s brother) is one of those workaholic finance bro types who makes tons of money, I don’t know how much but enough to afford a 6-bedroom house in a high-cost-of-living area + multiple vacation homes. SIL doesn’t work and calls herself a stay-at-home mom to their kids. They do have 3 kids, same as us, but first of all, they’re all elementary school age so they’re in school part of the day, and second of all she also has a 10-6 Mon-Fri daytime nanny, a live-in evening+weekend nanny, and a full-time maid/cook.
The nanny does all of the work when she’s there and my SIL will just pop up when it suits her.
Like for example, when we carpool, I will drop off the kids and 4/5 times the nanny will be the one doing pickups. And if SIL is there, she gives off this vibe like she expects praise, like one of those dads who expects his wife to fall all over herself thanking him every time he ‘babysits’ or changes a diaper.
The only time she really has her kids alone is weekday mornings from wakeup to school drop-off, which yeah is a chaotic time, but you wouldn’t hear me complaining if my workday went from 6:30-8 am. But she loves to talk about how stressful it was that morning.
Our kids go to the same school and are involved in some of the same activities so even if SIL/I weren’t related we’d see a lot of each other, it’s a small private school with other rich families too.
I was with some moms including SIL at a school event and she was saying she didn’t have ‘coverage’ tomorrow at all so she won’t be able to do blah blah blah and the other two moms who also both have a lot of childcare, were sympathetic towards her but I blurted out ‘haha try not having coverage at all.’ And SIL said, Well you don’t appreciate how hard it is, I have to do lots of other things too.
I said well I was like our kids are the same age, plus my youngest is 4 instead of 5 and not in school yet (4-year-old was also with me at the time).
My SIL changed the subject but later accused me of mom-shaming and said that her job was just as hard as mine and we were both stay-at-home moms. Since then she’s been really cold towards me and one of the other moms in that conversation was as well.
I know it was a dumb impulsive comment but I still sort of feel like I was right?”
15. AITJ For Trying To Make My Father-In-Law Move Out?
“FIL moved in after his wife (not my wife’s mother) decided she wanted to divorce.
Two months after he moved in, my wife told me he had been going to see psychics in regards to ‘what he had to do to get his wife back’ but was worried about him and just wanted my advice.
Now, I have heard a TON of stories about ‘psychics’ that prey on the desperate and I told my wife. That a lot of times ‘psychics’ will tell you what you want to hear to keep you paying and that he should be careful because he was ‘desperate enough to be scammed.’
I overheard her passing on this advice to him, but I kept overhearing about how he was ‘trying a new psychic’ every other week because the one he was seeing ‘wasn’t doing what he needed.’
Eventually, my wife let me know she was scared because this new guy he was talking to was starting to want to do some ‘dark stuff’ that she believed bordered on voodoo. This made me upset because what he was doing and his goals seemed like a stalker so I told my wife that if he kept going this way it was all going to blow up in his face.
My FIL has been working with the same person for several months now and something was suddenly ‘too far’ for even him to do and he decided to cut off the psychic. My FIL revealed to my wife that the psychic had a ‘very inappropriate video of him doing something to a picture of his STBX’ and the psychic was threatening to send it to her if my FIL didn’t pay him 10k.
My wife once again asked me for advice and I felt bad because I absolutely didn’t want to say ‘I told you so’ but it did basically come out that way. I then said that his best bet at this point was to file a police report about the blackmailing and that he needed to contact his STBX and inform her that he did something incredibly stupid before the psychic could just send her the video.
FIL did neither of these things, instead contacting a ‘shaman’ down in PR who said he’d fix it by threatening the psychic with an evil spirit. This was two weeks ago and this morning first he gets contacted by the police and then both myself and my wife get called.
The psychic indeed sent the vid to the STBX but under the guise that it was FIL and now she wanted to press charges to get a PO against him.
I gave the cops my side of the events and after my wife was off the phone I sat down with her and said if FIL can’t take the advice she’s asking me for and is going to keep digging this hole deeper I didn’t want him living in our house because it was detrimental for us and for our toddler, especially if this got whipped up even more as my FIL is STILL trying to find a new psychic to help him instead of fully cooperating with the police and submitting his own report.
My wife told me I was being a jerk for trying to make him move out when he was in a ‘bad place’ but I feel like enough is enough and I don’t want that kind of negative energy in my house.
So, AITJ?”
14. AITJ For How I Reacted When My Partner's Kid Spat On My Dish?
“This took place last night while I was out with my partner and his kids (6) & (4) for dinner at a restaurant. Now to give some context, My partner is a single dad with 2 kids. The 6-year-old is an angel but the 4-year-old is constantly hyperactive and tends to do things that cause issues for kids and adults, My partner never tries to discipline him or give out punishments (age appropriate of course) resulting in his behavior getting worse.
As the partner, I’m obviously not allowed to intervene or have a say in how he raises his kids, as he says.
Anyways, so last night while we were sitting eating, my partner’s 4-year-old son kept moving in his seat and making a fuss, throwing forks/napkins on the floor rather than telling me to pick them up.
I did this several times but got fed up and told him to please stop and eat his food since my partner was staring at his phone the entire time. The 4-year-old got agitated and unexpectedly spit in my dish before I could begin to eat. I was flabbergasted. My partner saw this and scolded his son for sitting down quietly.
I was disgusted I pushed the dish away and was about to call for the waitress to come to take it but my partner stopped me and asked what I was doing, I told him his kid had just spit in my dish and I was going to replace it but he said I didn’t need to and should just remove the portion where his son spat and eat the rest, I was beyond shocked and grossed out, I said no way I was going to eat from that dish and my partner said there was no way he was going to pay for a replacement dish and URGED me to just eat from this one.
I said no and we started arguing. I said it was disrespectful and unhygienic to expect me to eat from that dish and he accused me of messing up his budget for the week.
I took my purse and went to the restroom. He started texting me saying that the kids noticed my attitude and that I’d better keep it together but I turned my phone off and walked out.
He followed me outside and the argument continued. He said I was overreacting and causing an issue for no reason at all, but I said he was basically pushing me to eat from a dish his kid spat in which wasn’t okay or acceptable. He still said I overreacted and insisted I go back inside but I refused and went back to the apartment.
He came back with the kids later and picked up an argument with me about ruining our time together as a family and making the kids feel uncomfortable. He also said that if I wanted a replacement dish then I should pay for it myself cause it’s an expensive restaurant, and guilted me for expecting him to pay even though his kid spat in it.
I said that his behavior made me feel disrespected but he said I overreacted and should’ve let it go instead.
He’s been cold-shouldering me still, and I’m unsure of whether I really overreacted to what happened.”
13. AITJ For Selling My Husband's PS5 Without Telling Him?
“My (29F) husband, ‘Charlie’ (30 M) was lucky enough to get his hands on a PS5 sometime in October or November (don’t remember exactly when) since according to him they’re still pretty tough to get.
Around Thanksgiving, we had our first child, a daughter I’ll call ‘Lily’. I told my husband that I didn’t mind if he wanted to game after work or during any free time, but if I needed help with Lily, he had a grace period of about 5 minutes (I know online games with other people you can’t pause are a thing, and I get that) before I expected him to drop what he was doing and come help.
He agreed to that.
Over the past month or so, he hasn’t been coming when I needed help with Lily, and his idea of ‘watching’ her when I’m gone is to lay her on the couch while he plays his games. I gently reminded him the first couple of times that parenting is something we both need to contribute to, but as it continued, I unplugged his PS5 and hid it in a closet.
He found it, asked why I hid it, and I reminded him that he needs to help me with Lily, I can’t do this on my own and he needs to start pulling his weight as a father. He took it out while I was asleep and plugged it back in. I didn’t bother with hiding it again, and instead sold it while he was at work (I looked up the retail price and just sold it for that, this wasn’t about the money).
Now he’s mad at me for going behind his back to sell it, but I reminded him that he went behind my back when he got it out of the closet and plugged it back in and that he still wasn’t helping with Lily so I needed to do something to prove that I wasn’t playing around with him.
AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Threatening To Sue After My Boss Fired Me Without Any Valid Reason?
“I was fired recently and I admit I didn’t take it well, but in my opinion, my boss has zero legal justification to fire me. I have never had any problems at work but a private conversation was overheard by his wife and it made her cry.
I also think the way he went about it was awful. He made me apologize to her, so I thought I had a chance of retaining my job, but then he fired me in front of her while she smirked at me. I was blindsided and asked if I could talk to him privately. He said no. I asked to please talk to him without her and he said he wasn’t going to disrespect his marriage and kick his wife out of his office.
My biggest issues are that 1) he fired me for personal reasons, which have nothing to do with my work 2) his wife is currently going through menopause and I’m not trying to be weird, but she has been more sensitive lately and suddenly getting very hot, so to me, it’s obviously connected and yes he supports her, but he can’t make it everyone else’s issue.
3) A couple of years ago I heard her making fun of me and I didn’t escalate like this.
I told him he was making a mistake and I would look into legal options. I said I would leave an honest review about this on social media (and I have). I also left a comment on his wife’s private account about how she smirked at me and allowed her friend to watch me pack.
Maybe this is slight jerk territory, but he gave me an hour to gather my stuff and then he left his office unattended. I took a Sharpie to his pictures of her. I really liked this job and I’m hurt and furious right now, but I’m getting mixed feedback from friends and family.”
11. WIBTJ If I Go To My Mom's Party?
“My mom got married recently and eloped without telling anyone. Her best friend is throwing them a surprise party and my partner isn’t comfortable with me going. My partner doesn’t like my mom due to her questionable personal choices, but up until now she has respected that she is my mom and I still love her.
The issue is the man my mom married. He was married when they met and they had an affair. He said he was going to leave his wife for my mom when his son was 18, but my mom didn’t believe him for obvious reasons. Still, she said she really liked him and wanted to have fun and see how long it lasted. As they got more serious he was really adamant he would leave his wife.
It was a pretty weird situation. His wife was having an affair as well, but they refused to divorce because neither of them wanted custody of their son. His wife said she would intentionally rack up criminal charges to be declared an unfit parent. At this point, I don’t even consider it infidelity, more like an open marriage, but he is obviously a trashy dad.
The day his son turned 18 he gave him a large sum of money and told him to never contact him again (supposedly he is a problem child) and he proposed to my mom that day. My partner was disgusted because my mom was pretty much bouncing around that day and super excited. My partner called the ring gaudy and told my mom she wasn’t happy for them, which my mom just laughed off.
The issue is my mom’s friend invited me to the party and my partner doesn’t want me to go. I fully understand that my partner won’t be coming and I’d never pressure her, but I’d like to be there for my mom. The way I see it I can’t control her choices, I do love her, and hey free food (kidding, mostly).
My partner is crying and asking me to uphold our shared values and not go. The party is next Saturday.”
10. AITJ For Not Paying For My Stepdaughter's Wedding?
“I am getting married in May. He has a 25-year-old daughter who is getting married a month after us in June.
His mother is very upset that we aren’t paying for his daughter’s wedding and has been making comments that we are selfish and he doesn’t need a second wedding. To be clear his daughter hasn’t asked us for money.
MIL told my soon-to-be stepdaughter that her dad didn’t care about her or he would want to pay for her wedding.
His daughter mentioned how hard it was to book a venue because of so many weddings that were postponed due to the global crisis (note she did not say she could not afford a venue) and MIL began to cry and say he should view his daughter as his princess and clearly doesn’t.
The final straw was when his daughter went dress shopping.
It was slightly awkward and I found out after the fact that he pressured her to invite me, which was not cool. She found her dress and was going to buy it, and MIL turned to me in front of everyone (3 friends, her future MIL, and the consultant) and asked if I was going to pay for it.
His daughter even told her to stop. The dress was $14K. There is no way I was paying for that. Thankfully his daughter let everyone know that I’d never offered to pay for it and she didn’t want me to and paid for it herself.
MIL told the groom’s mother that we clearly don’t love his daughter enough, and it is so sad that we don’t want to pay for this.
I finally snapped at her to shut up. After we called her together and told her that she was being ridiculous, and if she brings up paying for his daughter’s wedding one more time, she will be blacklisted from ours. MIL said we were being too hard on her and that was a mean threat and we are heartless.”
9. AITJ For Not Serving Vegan Food At Our Housewarming Dinner?
“I’m a 23-year-old woman, I recently started living by myself and I decided to host a housewarming dinner/get-together.
The invite list was fairly small, 5 family members and 3 friends. (My apartment is quite small so that was enough to be cramped lol). I called everybody beforehand to make sure whatever I was cooking would adhere to dietary restrictions & allergies etc. A few people asked if they were welcome to bring other foods, wine, drinks, etc. and I said sure.
So it happened last night and I had basically cooked a scaled-down Thanksgiving meal, smallish turkey, chicken, potatoes, mac and cheese, and salad. I was also expecting other people to bring stuff and almost everyone did, it turned into kind of a potluck situation.
My brother ended up coming a bit late which isn’t too unusual, but he had a woman who he introduced as his significant other in tow.
I didn’t really have a problem with it. I thought it would’ve been nice for him to tell me she was coming but from the way he explained it it was a last-minute decision.
We’re all standing around my tiny table praying & when we’re done it’s time for food.
My brother’s SO asked what was vegan at the table and said she’d been eyeing a few things. I said I personally hadn’t cooked anything vegan, but one of my friends who is vegetarian had. It was some kind of stuffed peppers thing.
I wasn’t expecting to have a vegan so I wasn’t prepared but his SO seemed really upset.
My brother pulled me aside about an hour after and said it wasn’t really good hosting to only have 1 dish for her to eat. To be fair, she did look sort of left out just eating stuffed peppers and I did feel bad, but when my brother suggested I order her some food to make up for it I said no.
Vegan food is quite expensive where I live and I had already gone over my budget for the month with my dinner. I told him he was definitely welcome to order it, but I personally couldn’t afford another $25-$30 on one meal for her.
There was no big scene or anything, he stayed until the end of the night and she stayed too, I told her she was welcome to raid the fridge because I was sure I had some food suited to her but she didn’t take me up on that offer.
This morning however, he called and said that I should’ve at least ordered for her, considering I only had one dish she could eat, and that it was insulting to her being told she could go through the fridge ‘like some rat or something.’
Now I’m conflicted, last night I didn’t feel that bad for not ordering but today I do based on what he said and how she felt.
AITJ?”
8. AITJ For Excluding My Half-Sister From Our Late Dad's Obituary?
“I (22 M) have a half-sister, Kelsie (23 F). Kelsie’s mom and my dad had an affair way back before I was born. He stayed married to my mom who died in 2020 and after me, they had my siblings who are 19, 16, and 14. While she was never really part of the family (probably for obvious reasons) Kelsie and my dad stayed in touch but they had a rocky relationship.
Kelsie lives in the next state over but he would try to stay involved in her life. He took her to dinners on some of her birthdays, attended graduations and school events (sometimes, not always), and supported her financially, even sending her money in adulthood.
That said, she has always resented him and will go back and forth between liking him and including him in her life, to hating him and making a big deal of it publicly (via social media).
I’ll be honest, none of his kids have ever had a particularly close relationship with him. He wasn’t a terrible guy, just not always a great father figure if that makes sense. I never had any hard feelings towards Kelsie for being angry with him and sometimes even understood her frustrations.
Kelsie hadn’t spoken to him in a year or so.
Last I saw on her social media and from him telling me, she wanted ‘nothing to do with him.’ He died suddenly recently. I called Kelsie to let her know. She said okay and asked if there was something she was supposed to do, to which I told her no. She said thanks for calling and hung up.
I wrote the obituary. It was written a bit hastily (as I had other things to do) and was very basic. I did not include her in the ‘survived by’ portion. Kelsie didn’t come to the funeral (her mom sent flowers addressed from both of them). However, Kelsie called me fuming that she was not included in the obituary.
She’s called me every name in the book on the phone, via text, and in social media posts. I told her I thought she didn’t want anything to do with him. Her response was ‘This is different.’ Her mother is also angry with me about it.
AITJ?
EDIT: Her last social media post about him from about a year ago was ‘I’ve disowned my mom’s sperm donor from my life and have never been happier.’ I took this into consideration when omitting her from the obit.”
7. AITJ For Letting My Ex-Wife's Stepdaughter Live With Me?
“My ex and I divorced about 12 years ago. We have a 15-year-old son together. She married a guy a couple of years later. He has a daughter who is four years older than my son. So my son has known her for about ten years.
She has always been nice to him and there have never been any serious arguments between them. My ex and her husband live about an hour and a half from town. So when she got into college they decided they didn’t want her commuting three hours a day, especially in Manitoba winters. So they budgeted for her to live with friends while she was in school.
I have known the girl since she was 7 years old. She is an intelligent, charming, and friendly kid. She is also burnt out from school.
I am not going to defend her actions. She lied to my ex and her father about dropping out of college. She did her first semester but she was overwhelmed and dropped out.
And she didn’t tell them. But she kept the money they sent her for housing and food.
She should not have lied but I understand why she did. They cut off her funding and told her to get a job. Which is totally fair. If you aren’t in school you should be supporting yourself.
She had enough budget to make it to July.
She found a job but it didn’t pay enough to cover living in the city. Her dad and my ex would not let her move home.
My son called me to ask if I could help her out. I thought about it and I said I would. I have room in my house. So I told him to have her call me.
We talked about it and she moved in at the beginning of August. She is paying rent she can afford and buying her own food. She is also doing chores around the house.
My ex found out what I did and lost it on me. Their plan was for her to be so desperate that she agreed to go back to college with them keeping a much closer eye on her.
I screwed everything up by not letting her become homeless in Winnipeg.
Her husband is mad at me for interfering with a kid that I’m not related to. I can understand where they are coming from but I think they are not doing the right thing. I just want my son to know she is in a safe place.
I also think she will go back to school once she figures out how much it sucks only having a high school diploma.
I didn’t know where to add this but before any of you start calling me a creep or anything, please know that to the best of my knowledge, she isn’t into people with a Y chromosome.
And I’m not into girls young enough to be my daughter.
EDIT: Her mom and dad’s family are all in Alberta. And she doesn’t want to move there.”
6. AITJ For Excluding My Stepfather From My Wedding Party?
“My (25 F) parents divorced when I was 10. My dad got remarried to ‘Julie’ when I was 14. Julie has always accepted that she is my step-parent and has never tried to force a relationship with me. As a result, we have a great relationship. She listens to me, gives great advice when I need it, and I can confide in her.
She helped review my college entrance essays, has given me tips on interviewing, etc. She and my dad complement each other so well, and she’s just an all-around wonderful person and friend to me.
My mother got remarried to ‘Jerry’ when I was 15. Jerry is the polar opposite. He’s domineering, egotistical, and kind of obnoxious.
He’s always ready to give unsolicited advice – it doesn’t matter if you don’t need it, or even if you’re not facing a problem – any topic of discussion starts with him saying, ‘What you need to do is…’ However, my mother adores him and thinks he hung the moon. Jerry fancies himself as a sort of ‘second father’ to me, although I’ve made it clear that I already have a father and don’t need another.
Now, the issue: I’m engaged to ‘Ryan,’ (27 M) and we’re planning our wedding. When I put together my bridal party, I thought of Julie being one of my bridesmaids since we are great friends. I asked her and she accepted. However, when my mother and Jerry found out, they were upset that I didn’t have a role for Jerry.
He wants to give me away (or give me away with my dad), and I shot that down. Then they talked about Jerry having a dance with me. Again, no. That’s reserved for my dad only. And Ryan DEFINITELY does not want Jerry in his group of groomsmen. Jerry thinks it’s unfair that Julie gets a role and he doesn’t.
Honestly, I wouldn’t care about Jerry’s hurt feelings, except my mother is now getting upset. She called me and said I was hurting her by not having a role for Jerry, and I explained that Jerry’s role is to be your companion and support during the wedding – that Julie and I simply have a relationship that Jerry and I don’t have.
She ended the call by saying, ominously, ‘I don’t want to make a difficult decision, but you’re forcing my hand.’ Now I’m afraid she won’t come to the wedding unless Jerry attends.
Julie heard about all this and has graciously offered to leave the wedding party to keep the peace, but I don’t want her to.
Ryan and my dad have told me that they’ll stand by me no matter what, but I just feel like someone is going to get hurt no matter what.”
5. AITJ For Walking My Niece Down The Aisle?
“My brother David (55) isn’t the most responsible person in the world. He drinks too much and can’t hold a job since he had an accident on a quad that left him in a coma for three months.
He has two kids whom it has been my privilege to help raise. David’s ex Meredith and I have a good relationship.
She stayed with my wife and me after he quit his job to go diving in Indonesia ‘for a while’. Our kids have all grown up together.
Meredith married a man a few years ago and he has become part of our family. But my niece Maddi doesn’t want him to walk her down the aisle as she was already an adult when she met him and while they are on good terms she doesn’t see him as a father figure.
Maddi asked me instead. I was very happy to agree to participate in her wedding. I held her the day she was born and watched her grow up.
The wedding was last weekend and surprisingly David showed up. My mom had basically bullied him into getting up and dressed in time to be there.
My mom looked all happy with herself to get her oldest son to his daughter’s wedding.
Maddi was happy he was there but hadn’t really expected him to show up. Meredith told the ushers to sit him up front with the family. My mom and David asked why he should go sit when he showed up to walk his daughter down the aisle.
It almost became a problem until Maddi’s brother came and grabbed his dad and told him to go sit because I was more of a father to them than he ever had been.
David and my mom went and sat but they weren’t happy. At the reception, all they could talk about was how David had made the effort to be there and that he had been excluded.
I was livid that he considered showing up for his daughter’s wedding ‘an effort’.
To pacify him Maddi asked him if he would do a father-daughter dance with her after ours.
He declined because he was upset that I got one as well. The thing is that we actually had a choreographed dance ready to go. We have been practicing for weeks. He literally could not do that dance.
It is chaotic and a lot of the family has taken his and my mom’s side that I usurped his place in the wedding.
Now he is spreading old rumors about the three years that Meredith lived with my wife and me.
I’m wondering whether I should have asked Maddi to let him walk her down the aisle.”
4. AITJ For Not Wanting To Invite My Fiancé's Ex-Crush To Our Wedding?
“We are getting married in 3 weeks and I already have the guest list finalized and I have already started telling vendors the headcounts.
Yesterday my fiancé came to me to ask if we could add another 4 people to our guest list, one of which being his former crush from high school/college that he pined after.
She never wanted anything to do with him in that way. I know they have hooked up in the past and I honestly don’t care what he did before meeting me. The issue is, that while we were seeing each other exclusively they were very flirty on Snapchat a few years ago and I found out about it.
He put a stop to it and hasn’t spoken to her much in the last few years.
During his bachelor trip last weekend, this girl reaches out to my fiancé and is wanting to catch up on the past few years. He tells her that she is invited to the wedding along with her best friend from high school and their plus ones.
Am I the jerk for not wanting her there?
He is making me feel like I am being childish by not wanting her there on or wedding day because they haven’t been physical while we were going out, but I just don’t feel like I can fully relax and enjoy the wedding with her presence in the room.
It might be a self-esteem issue with me, but I feel so self-conscious knowing the girl he pined after a long time ago is there when I really want his attention directed towards me on our wedding day. I’m not inviting any past lovers out of respect to my fiancé and I wish he would do the same.
Please tell me if I am being childish and immature about this situation. I know in my heart he would never physically lie to me. I’ve worked really hard to get past his behavior from a few years ago when he was flirting with her on Snapchat and I thought we were in a really great place until he mentioned this.
It just brings a lot of past feelings back up for me.”
3. AITJ For Lying About Our Guests' Time Of Arrival?
“My wife has a huge struggle with time management, whenever we have guests over, they always end up waiting for too long for food to be ready. Her argument is that she is struggling because there’s just so much to do all at the same time. I’m the complete opposite… I get all chores done on time and never had an issue with having so much to do at the same time.
Last week we were having some guests over, She wanted to prepare a few dishes and asked when exactly the guests would be arriving. I lied to her, instead of saying 5 I said 4. She got into the kitchen earlier and started preparing to cook.
4 rolled around and she asked why the guests hadn’t arrived yet, I kept stalling saying maybe there was traffic or something.
My wife began questioning the fact that they were even coming but at 5 they arrived. We welcomed them. Food was served on time, had more time to talk and hang out in the living room.
My wife then asked one of the guests what made them arrive an hour later, he said that they were meant to arrive at the time they agreed upon which was 5, and told her that I knew that.
I felt absolutely awful but I kept my cool and tried to change the subject though from the looks my wife gave me, she wasn’t going to let it go.
After they left, she confronted me and I admitted lying to her about the time of the arrival so she could be ready on time to serve the food and also since it was not cool to keep them waiting like she did in the past. She said I was unbelievable and that I never should have lied but I said I felt frustrated with this whole thing that wouldn’t get fixed. She said if I don’t like it then I should do it but I said I already do my part and never complain.
She said that I insulted her, lied to her, and made her feel like she was a terrible host then stormed off. I tried talking to her about it again but she told me off calling what I did sneaky and offending to her efforts when I was just trying to figure out a fix for this issue.
AITJ or is she overreacting?”
2. AITJ For Not Allowing A Woman To Bring Her Grandfather To Use My Workplace's Bathroom Anymore?
I (20 M) work part-time at a bodega as I go to university. Since it’s summer and the next semester won’t be starting for another month, I’m working a lot more hours. I got this job through a family friend and enjoy working here a lot.
As my hours went up in summer, I started to notice that a middle-aged woman would visit the shop with her grandfather multiple times a day.
She would immediately usher him to the bathroom (as fast as a man in his 80s or 90s could move), where he would do his business and they would leave without buying anything.
The issue is that he pees ALL OVER THE FLOOR. I’m talking about a Mississippi River level of urine across the floor that I have to clean up every time.
It’s absolutely disgusting in an otherwise clean bathroom.
I’ve explained the situation to the owner. He told me we couldn’t refuse to allow a customer to use the bathroom legally. When I asked what we should do instead, he shrugged and said there was nothing we could do about it.
Well, yesterday the woman came in when I was working, of course dragging her grandfather along.
At a busy hour in front of a bunch of customers, I loudly said something along the lines of ‘Can you stop using our bathroom because you don’t want to clean up Grandpa’s mess? It’s disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself.’ The woman looked at me in shock and ushered him out.
I figured I had handled the situation.
Later she came back, though, and shrieked at me about how she’s the only person her grandfather has and how she had to quit her job to take care of him. I told her to calm down or leave, to which she responded, ‘You’re a stupid jerk and have no idea what it’s like to take care of another person.’ She stormed out before I could say anything.
I just wonder if I owe her an apology here or not.”
1. AITJ For "Copying" My Coworker's Outfits?
“I (27 f) have a coworker, let’s name her Ivy.
I think Ivy has a great style. We work in a creative field and can wear whatever we want and I really like her style.
Anyway, I often take inspiration from her outfits. For example, she’ll wear knee-high combat boots, a dress, and a sweater and I will take inspiration, and the next day, I will wear just normal knee-high boots (don’t have combat ones), and a skirt and blouse to look kind of similar to the shape of her dress.
Or she’ll wear a maxi skirt with a well-fitted sweater and I’ll get a similar one to wear. If she wears lipstick, it’s always the same dark one and I got a similar one because it looks so nice. It’s not an exact copy, more like an inspiration. Sure, we have some clothes that are identical but again, they look different on us as we have different body shapes (she’s tall and skinny and I am slightly taller and curvy).
It’s not that her clothes are even that unique, anyone can buy silver midi rings and wear them.
We were on a work night out last night and I wore a dress that ended up being exactly the same one that Ivy wore that night. It was a fitted skater dress with a bare back and blue sequins.
Ivy didn’t say anything but when her best friend (Gigi) saw me, she whispered something to Ivy and I saw Ivy shook her head ‘no.’ Nothing happened.
Later that night, we were all a bit wasted and I overheard Gigi telling a new coworker that they all call me ‘discount Ivy’ because I copy everything Ivy does and it never looks good on me.
I got really hurt and I confronted Gigi And she told me I am the jerk or copying everything Ivy does. And I am just sitting here thinking, am I really the jerk for getting inspired/‘copying/a coworker?”
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