People Get Busted In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I (28M) have a partner(26 F) of two years. We are generally a happy couple, except her recent behavior is really annoying me. It started on Valentine's Day this year when she found out that I sent my mother a Valentine's Day gift. I explained to her that this is a family tradition for me. When I was a kid, every year on Valentine's Day, my father would buy her many presents. He would let my brothers and me give them to her. My elder brother would give her a stuffed bear or any cute toy in the morning. Later, I would give her a box of chocolates, and my youngest brother would give her flowers. Later, my dad usually gives her jewelry or any thoughtful present and will take her out on an outing. We did that every year as kids. As we grew up, it became an unspoken tradition in our family. My mother is the kindest and most gracious woman, and my parents' relationship is truly amazing. We continued this tradition every year even after we moved out. Our father passed away three years ago. I only get to see my mother during holidays and family events every year, but I never miss our tradition. My partner found it unnecessary and told me I don't have to do that anymore. I told her it's not her business. It's only a box of chocolates anyway. She was angry but eventually dropped it. Later this year, on Mother's Day, I sent my mother flowers, a handwritten letter, and a gift card. My partner got upset when she found out. When I asked her, she told me that I should've gotten her something as well. I don't get why. We don't have any kids and aren't trying for one either. Then she got angry about my not getting her mother a present. I've met her mother once, and we are not very close. Yesterday, things got worse when she blew up on me, saying that I forgot her mother's birthday. The thing is, I am not close with her mother because she herself isn't close with her. She's being unreasonable, and I feel resentment towards her. AITJ?" Another User Comments: "NTJ. Your partner’s obsession with who in your family you give gifts to is bizarre and controlling. She is free to give gifts if she wants. Why she thinks she’s in control of your own gift-giving traditions is beyond me. And she absolutely doesn’t get a gift on Mother’s Day just because someone else, who is a mother, gets one. Does she also demand gifts on everyone else’s birthday?" Illustrious-Shirt569 Another User Comments: "OP, it sounds like your partner lacks emotional maturity. She is possibly jealous or resents the fact that she does not have a close relationship with her mother and she lacks the emotional maturity to identify that, so she is acting out because she feels yucky inside so it must be your fault. NTJ. If she's worth it to you, maybe try to bring this up to her and point out that her reaction is unreasonable and maybe offer to help talk her through how to understand why she might be feeling this way. But this definitely isn't something you should breeze over." Aromatic-Blueberry-4 Another User Comments: "NTJ. Your partner is very immature and insecure. Frankly, showing your mother you love her any time is an indication of your thoughtfulness and respect for your mother. Expecting a gift for Mother’s Day when she’s not a mother is extremely strange. Did she get you something for Father’s Day? Leave this person. Find someone who will nurture your relationship with your family, not compete with it." Master_Post4665