People Feel Overlooked In These "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I live with 3 roommates (alias: Bubbles, Buttercup, and Blossom) in an apartment right around the corner from our campus. When we first moved into our apartment last March, Buttercup was going through some serious financial trouble because her parents had completely cut her off. We were all pretty close; we didn't mind helping her stay on her feet. For months, we only divided the groceries and rent three ways. I was particularly close with Buttercup, and I really understand this kind of stress since I've been financially independent from 16, so I did my best to help out. I paid for her laundry, helped her find job listings, drove her around, and when we were furnishing our apartment, I bought her a mattress. Most of the little things I didn't mind paying for and I just wanted to help out, but the mattress was the one thing that we decided she would definitely pay me back for, since it had set me back almost €1,000. In August, Buttercup got a partner, often spending entire weeks at his apartment. She still hadn't paid me back, so the mattress was technically mine, but I didn't make a fuss because I didn't have any use for it anyway. However, as of a couple of weeks ago, I've been working on moving into a new apartment with my partner. Our new place has two bedrooms, and we've decided to allocate one as a guest room. I'm bringing over my current bed, but for the guest room, we needed another full-sized mattress. I figured it would be the perfect time to ask Buttercup about paying me back for the mattress. In the past, I've asked about it, but she always says that she "isn't able to" and always has something else more pressing to pay off. So the last time I asked her, I really stressed how much this means to me that I can move in with my partner, but Buttercup responded that she just bought a car and she really needs to use the money for that and that she was sorry. This is the point where I feel like I kinda turned into the jerk in this situation. I knew that Buttercup would spend weeks at her partner's house, so I figured that if I just took the mattress, it wouldn't be the end of the world since she had another place to crash. Last week, I got a call from Buttercup, who was screaming at me. It turns out her partner had dumped her, and when she came home, she realized her mattress was missing. Apparently, when I told her that I was taking her mattress, she thought I was joking. I apologized profusely, but at one point it just felt like she was guilt-tripping me, and I got angry. I told her that this whole thing wouldn't have happened if she had made any effort to pay me back at all, but she still refuses to admit to any wrongdoing. Bubbles texted me and let me know Buttercup's been sleeping on the couch for the last two days. I've thought about giving the mattress back, but I'm genuinely hurt by how much I've supported her and how little thought she gives to me and my needs. But I know it's still incredibly petty. I don't know AITJ?" Another User Comments: "NTJ - technically the mattress is yours, since you paid for it. You just generously allowed her to use it until you had a use for it. Buttercup was going to continue to stiff you for the money she owed you and all the time you invested on her behalf in trying to help turn her into a functional adult. Block the bunch and have done with it." toosheeptheorist Another User Comments: "NTJ and I think now you know why Buttercup's family cut her off. They WANT her to have a "sleep on the couch" experience so that she begins to understand and appreciate money, and you and your roommates (and her partner) softened the blow too much. Stop stressing about this and enjoy your new apartment." JeepersCreepers74 Another User Comments: "NTJ, she was most likely never going to pay you back. Everything else she needed money for was always going to be more important. I hate owing anyone, so whenever someone has had to spot me money in the past, that was always my main priority, and I would wait to make any big purchases until after I had paid that person back." RezMageMasterRace