Raaraak
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On the actual post from reddit the OP states he's not in America where shelters are overwhelmed with cats and they are expensive.
NTJ for not inviting her as it seems you were doing it because you know she can't eat there... HOWEVER. you should have told her yourself before you went for a private meal, explained the Indian was because on your birthday our going somewhere she can't eat and not let her be caught off guard to be the only one not invited
NTJ. He's gaslighting you. Tell him next time he's staying home with the kids for 3 weeks while you go away with one of your friends (or even solo travel!) You need to sit down and discuss this because you can't go on like this. You'll break.
If that's the way your dad thinks then HE should be fix his own wife's attitude.

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