People Narrate Their Compelling "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
35. AITJ For Walking Out Of Family Dinner After My Husband's Comment About My Miscarriage?
“My husband and I have been trying to have kids for 3 years. I’ve had a series of miscarriages and not a single pregnancy was successful. Our recent miscarriage was a month ago. And although my husband never said anything (up until now) these have been such trying times for me personally, the tension and emotions are very overwhelming and I’ve become too sensitive even at the mention of the topic.
He took me to his family’s house for dinner last night and my miscarriage was brought up by his mom. The look of disappointment on her face made me lose my appetite completely. She went on and on about what may have caused it then my husband chimed in and said that he was starting to come to the conclusion that ‘maybe I’m incapable of being a mom’.
I was floored for two reasons. One is that he’d even say such a thing. Two is that no doctor has told me that there was something wrong with me specifically so for him to declare I was ‘incapable’ of bearing children and being a mom hurt like a sting.
I looked at him and he was like ‘What???’ Then told me to not get offended since he was just being honest. He said he loves me and thinks I’m perfect but still thinks that ‘I’m flawed in that area’, referring to motherhood.
I had it at that point, I just got up from my seat and took my stuff, and headed to the door. I said nothing and just made my way out. He shouted at me but I didn’t stop.
I went home and he came and started unloading on me about how immature and too sensitive and ridiculous I was being.
He said he was giving his honest opinion about the matter and I have no right to police the words that come out of his mouth whether I like what I’m hearing or not it’s still ‘the truth’. We argued some then we stopped talking altogether.
He keeps saying I exaggerated and walked during dinner and disrespected him and his family over literally nothing.
I’m unsure if I handled this the right way, or yet acted out of emotions.”
34. AITJ For Refusing My Parents' Offer For Me To Move Back To Their House?
“My (18M) parents planned on being a child-free couple, but because of religious beliefs, they kept me even if I was an unwanted pregnancy.
I don’t remember when exactly I was told, but I always knew that I would be expected to move out as soon as I reached 18 years old. I have been working and saving since I turned 13 and have a respectable amount in a savings account.
Now to be fair to my parents, they provided for me financially, they were distant emotionally but they have never been abusive.
A week before my 18th birthday (January 13th) they sat me down and asked if I have found a place to move into yet.
I said yes and that was the extent of the conversation.
I was planning to live in an apartment with 4 other guys, but a friend’s family heard about it and offered me their finished basement with separate access for a very cheap price ($150 a month utilities included, no down payment required).
So I jumped at the opportunity even though I know it is a pity offer. It is relevant that both his family and mine are of Indian descent.
I moved out the day after my birthday and my parents haven’t contacted me since.
I admit that I did not reach out to them too.
Yesterday my dad called to invite me to dinner. It was awkward even before they asked me to move back in, and said I don’t have to pay them rent or anything.
But here’s the thing, I like my new living situation, it lacks the awkwardness and tension that I didn’t even know was there until I moved out.
When I said no, politely at that, and thanked them for the offer, my mother started crying and left the room, while my dad started scolding me and saying that their friends are excluding them because of the ‘rumor’ that they threw me out and another desi family had to take me in.
I said that that was exactly what happened, and it isn’t my job to save them from the consequences of their actions and decisions.
Now my whole extended family is calling me nonstop and saying I am being a jerk.
So AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Not Being Supportive Of My Mom's Decision To Get Pregnant Again?
“I (22M) have 2 siblings (22F and 23F) and I am the youngest (the youngest twin). But we are all adults now.
This all started a few years ago when my oldest sister got pregnant with my nephew. It was the first baby of our generation and of course, everyone was overjoyed it was a boy because they are so rare in the family.
I won’t sugarcoat it. My sister was spoiled during her pregnancy. She was driven to all her doctor’s appointments, nearly every day someone was buying something new, and with every craving someone was ready to go get it, and she even had 2 baby showers.
When my nephew was born it was the happiest my family had been since my grandma died.
My mom, however, wasn’t.
Every time someone would do something for my sister, she expected it for herself. I remember I bought my sister a pedicure and paid extra for a foot massage and my mother was mad at me for days for not getting her one.
‘I’m the baby’s grandma!’ She would say constantly.
We all ignored it for the sake of my nephew.
Well, my mom just recently sat me and my siblings down and explained how she wanted to try getting pregnant again.
She wasn’t asking us our opinion, more like informing us that it was going to happen. My sister was excited for someone who could be a playmate for her son. My twin was hesitant and I was livid. For privacy reasons, I won’t give my mother’s medical history, but just that is enough for concern not to mention the fact that she’s 40+ years old.
I asked her how she planned to live if she couldn’t work while pregnant as my father has never been in the picture. ‘Well, one of my kids shouldn’t mind taking care of me.’
I asked her how she planned to take care of a baby when she’s back to work.
‘Someone in the family can babysit.’
I asked her how she planned on buying baby stuff because she’s not good at saving at all. ‘Everyone will pitch in for the baby like they did with your sister.’
And no. They wouldn’t.
My mom has burned quite a lot of bridges for her emotional immaturity. And one very high-risk pregnancy will not change that. Not to mention the fact that my siblings and I were raised by our grandparents because she couldn’t.
So I sat her down and tried to explain how this would be a terrible idea for everyone involved. But she got upset and started yelling about how I needed to be supportive and I’m just jealous because I won’t be the youngest anymore.
I let my emotions get ahead of me and I called her insane and left.
My siblings and family have called to tell me I need to apologize and that I was way out of line. I ‘don’t have to like her trying for another baby but I need to be supportive.’ Which I feel would be the case if we were talking about literally anyone else.
But nobody else thinks the same.
So, AITJ?
Edit for info: I don’t know how my mom intends to get pregnant. She wouldn’t be approved for IVF and she’s never had a consistent relationship. My guess is that she’s just planning on sleeping around.
Also, she’s 43 going on 44. My guess is she’s counting on the ‘it takes a village’ mindset to help her with a child.
My sister got special treatment for being pregnant because (1) she was having a boy, (2) because she was busting her butt as a single mother, student, and working full time, (3) her baby’s father was a piece of work who dipped.”
32. AITJ For Insisting On Checking A Woman's Bags Despite Her Pleas To Leave?
“I work in a shoe shop, and as you know almost all the shoes are alarmed. Yesterday a woman came in and got a couple of shoes. While she was looking for the shoes, her baby started crying but she didn’t care and spent 20 minutes in the shop.
I didn’t see her going to the cashier since I was in a different part of the shop. When she got out the alarm went off so I stopped her and asked to check her bags. She told me that her baby was sick and they had to go to the hospital as soon as possible.
I told her that it won’t take long and asked to see her bags. She refused and kept on telling me her baby was sick.
I called my manager and our manager told the woman that as an employee, I had to check the bags since it was the procedure.
She started crying, shaking, and screaming telling me her baby’s situation is going worse and I was the reason for it. The security came in and looked at the bags, turns out there was an alarm left on the shoes.
(It didn’t take more than 2 minutes to remove and check the bags.)
While she was leaving she kept screaming ‘If my baby dies, it’s on you.’ Which kept me awake the whole night.
Today is my free day and turns out the woman came into the store saying her baby has been kept in the emergency room for the whole night and day, and if they could’ve helped the baby earlier they would be home that night.
My coworker told me this which made me feel horrible. I’d get fired if I didn’t check her bags and the baby was crying while she was shopping, and she didn’t care. But I still feel like I did the wrong thing.
EDIT: She purchased the shoes but there was a secret alarm in the shoes, they did not inform us about those. So it’s not the cashier’s fault, the box wasn’t labeled.
We did not check her purse, only the bag which had our products in it!
I’m not in the US. Our policy is supported by laws. We are allowed to check the bags that have our logos on them. If it has a different brand’s logo, we ask for that shop’s employees to come and check.”
31. AITJ For Refusing To Move To The US For My Husband?
“My husband (41M) and I (38F) have been together for 4 years and have been living in Brazil for our entire relationship.
He’s an American, I’m a Brazilian. We met when he came to work in Sao Paulo, initially just for a year.
According to him, his marriage had ended before he moved here, but apparently, his (now) ex-wife thought they were still working things out, because she saw it as infidelity when he started going out with me and, in her eyes, I’m the woman who ‘stole’ her husband from her.
You can imagine it’s not an easy situation.
The thing is, they have a son together, who’s now 12. My husband and I also have a 2-year-old daughter. Lately, he’s been pressuring me to move to the US with him, so he can be close to his son.
I can understand that, but he’s asking me to give up a lot of what I’ve been working for in these past few years – career-wise, I know I won’t find an equivalent job in the US.
So I told him I will agree to move, even though it won’t be the best scenario for me, IF and only if his ex would give us joint custody.
Apparently, she’ll only agree on ‘every other weekend’, which amounts to less than 30 days a semester. That’s pretty much the same amount of time we have with his son now since he comes to Brazil every holiday to stay with us (the last summer he spent more than a month here, which is more than what we would have living in the US).
I don’t think it’s worth it for us to change our entire lives over that kind of time.
In my husband’s eyes, I’m pushing him into a custody battle with his ex, instead of just agreeing with his request. He says I wouldn’t make this request if I really cared about his relationship with his son, which makes me sad, because I love his son just as if he was my own.
I also fear he will resent me if things continue this way. He’ll see me as the person who’s keeping him away from his son.
AITJ for refusing to move?”
30. AITJ For Avoiding Eating With My Mother?
“My (15F) dad passed away a year ago and there isn’t a day we don’t miss him.
My mother has gone through countless losses that have hurt her and worsened her depression (My grandpa, my aunt, and ultimately my dad). Since my mom was in her own cocoon for as long as I can remember I was closer to my dad, she never interacted that much with me and when she did, she was kinda rude (telling me to shut up when I wanted to talk to her about something, telling me to keep it down because I ‘stressed her’ when I was a kid playing and making noise or ignored me, she used to say I gave her headaches because I was so noisy), she was closer to my older brothers (25M, 21M, and 17M) because they were born before my aunt passed away.
We were okay like this until my dad passed and my brothers (25M and 21M) went back to their lives. They visit every weekend and we spend some time but for as long as I can remember my mother has cried during mealtime, either by remembering her sister or because we were ‘ungrateful’ and to be honest…
I’m tired. We all are. We end up not being hungry because all she does is talk trash about us and cry, it was starting to affect our health so my brother (17) and I avoided eating with her as much as we could but ever since my dad died I couldn’t let her eat alone.
It only lasted 6 months because every time we ate, she complained about how life sucked, how she didn’t have anything else to keep going, about what a bad daughter I was, and such.
Since last year she’s been asking me why nobody eats with her and I usually change the subject but yesterday she cornered me and yelled why was I a horrible daughter who can’t eat with her mother and I just told her.
She grounded me and called my brothers, my older brothers defended us, but the rest said that we should’ve sucked it up and I don’t know if I did wrong or not.”
29. AITJ For Not Wanting To Give My Maternity Pillow Away?
“I (25f) have never been pregnant. I sleep on my side most of the time as that is my comfortable position because I snore when I lay on my back. 2 years ago I noticed that I had some back and neck pain from sleeping on my side for so long.
So I found a solution for my back pain. I bought about 4 regular pillows to support my back when I sleep. Then when I visited my pregnant friend back in early 2021 I saw her U-shape maternity pillow. She explained that after she bought that she had a good night’s sleep.
So I tried her maternity pillow and it was very comfortable, she knows my back problems so she recommended I should purchase one for myself. I ordered one online and have been using mine ever since.
Now on to the actual situation.
A few days ago I asked my cousin (26f) to stay at my house (food is free) and to care for my dog (with pay) for a while because I went on vacation with my partner. I didn’t know she brought her friend (29f) along to my house.
They waited for me ’til I came back home. When I returned her friend approached me and asked me if I’m pregnant. I was shocked to see her and told her no. Then she told me she saw my maternity pillow in my bedroom.
I looked at my cousin because I specifically told her not to enter my bedroom and that she will sleep in my guest bedroom. She looked down and didn’t meet my eyes.
I then told her it was none of her business and I think it was time for them to leave.
She told me that since I’m not pregnant that I should give it to her. I told her lady I don’t even know who you are and I know I had given my cousin an instruction no visitors were allowed yet she broke that rule and that ‘visitor’ had the nerve to enter my bedroom.
Then she told me that I’m a selfish jerk and I should help and give her my maternity pillow since she’s a single mom and can’t afford comfort for herself.
I told her you are not entitled to any of my belongings leave or I’ll call the police because you are clearly trespassing as I had never given you any permission to set foot on my property.
She called me a jerk and stormed off. Now my cousin’s other friends have been harassing me through DMs and posts.
Not sure if I was a jerk because one of the messages that stood out says, ‘Girl, it is called maternity pillow because it is meant for a pregnant woman.
You are not pregnant.'”
28. AITJ For Telling My Sister-In-Law To Get Out If She Hates My Baby So Much?
“My wife’s (32f) younger sister (24f) is in college in our area. Her lease was temporary where she was living so she’s staying with us while she looks for a new place. Honestly, I (30m) am not a big fan of hers.
She’s kind of bratty? But what really made me not stand her is her attitude toward our 10-month-old son. Anytime the subject of my son/kids comes up she finds a way to make it about her being child-free.
Example 1: when we announced our pregnancy to her family. Everyone was happy for us. Her reaction was ‘Eww that’s so gross’. Then telling us sorry it’s just weird for her to think about being pregnant and glad she’s never going to.
That already put us off and soured the moment. Didn’t change throughout my wife’s pregnancy so we ignored her. After our son was born she threw a fit because my in-laws sent her a couple of pics and she called my wife asking her to tell their parents not to send her anything because not everyone cares about babies.
We weren’t the ones who sent it to her but still mad at us for ‘shoving our baby down her throat.’ My wife’s gotten mad about her attitude. Her folks say she’s expressing herself and not to take it personally.
When we let her move in it got worse. If my son cries she loudly says ‘Oh my god shut him up see this is why – yadda yadda won’t have kids, etc.’ ‘He’s so annoying, he’s so needy,’ makes dramatic gagging noises when we’re feeding him fruits and tells us to take him somewhere else for that (which we don’t, my wife just tells her to deal with it).
I can understand someone personally not liking kids and never wanting any. What I don’t is going out of your way to always talk about how much you hate them.
Anything my son does she always has to say something.
I don’t appreciate that negativity toward my child. Earlier my son hit his head and started crying. I calmed him down after a minute, without asking for her opinion she says you guys had months to terminate the pregnancy, you did this to yourselves.
So I snapped at her. That if she hates babies so much then she’s welcome to get out of my house, don’t understand what deep hate she has for kids but maybe get some therapy because it’s one thing to not like them, it’s another to always wanna make it known how much you despise them.
And that I was tired of her annoying rants while she’s eating our food for free complaining about a baby while she’s acting like one herself.
So yeah it was quite a bit what I said. She didn’t say anything after but told my wife.
Then their parents. And the reason they think I was a jerk is because I threatened her living situation when she wouldn’t have any place to go right now and we’re her only option. My wife agrees with me which triggered an argument with her parents.
I get she’s still young and dumb so that’s why I’m asking if I’m the jerk.”
27. AITJ For Not Wanting To Go Through With An Arranged Marriage?
“For as long as I could remember I (25f) was always told as a child that when I grew up I would be married to my parents’ best friend’s son.
Let’s call him ‘Aaron’ (25m). It was ‘our duty’! That it was decided before we were even born! As children, we got on fine. As teenagers, we started going out much to our parents’ delight, but it didn’t last long because it became so obvious to both of us that we were definitely not meant to be as we were so different!
Examples: Aaron wanted to settle down and have a family and I am more job focused and into traveling and adventure, the complete opposite of him. Our parents were upset when we split up and went our own ways so I moved to another part of the country to pursue my dreams and career and went low contact with everyone to avoid their disappointment and thought they would get over it eventually.
Boy was I wrong!
Just before 2020, I was touring Europe and I decided to go home. Just in time before my country prohibited flights from coming in, and I couldn’t find a place to rent in time, due to new laws coming into effect in my country ready for the global crisis, so I had no choice but to go home to my parents.
Aaron was now a single full-time father, and his and my parents wasted no time in trying to get us to get back together again. They often try to guilt trip me saying that the girl needed a mother, that a father can only do so much and that we were arranged to be married, and that I am cruel to make the girl suffer (her mother had passed away).
Aaron is actually backing our parents up this time! I like his daughter, but I’m not ready to be a mother! I truly believe that she needs a mother who will be there for her 100% and not one that’s going to resent being her mother.
A fact our parents and Aaron completely ignore! Their pressure had literally made me live in a caravan on the edge of their land so I can get a break! They call me selfish and cruel! So tell me?! AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Bragging About My Fancy Life?
“I (32F) come from a family of 3. P (34M), J (27M), and me. If there is the black sheep of the family, it’s me.
My family has never come to terms with the fact that I’m lazy and I get along well (I am, so I look for ways to do what I want without putting full effort into it).
When I started college, I found an internship that paid reasonably well and was chosen.
They tried to fire me, but after a few months, they hired me again, because they couldn’t find someone who did so well. I saw an opportunity to grow and for many years I worked hard and I am proud to say that I am currently one of the partners of the company that I started as an intern.
I worked 6 days/12 hours and now 3 days/7 hours. And without being greedy, I’m very well paid.
P decided to focus on his student career and is currently working on his Ph.D. In my country, the student grant is at most two minimum salaries for a Ph.D., and the city that has the university has a very high cost of living, so P lives with my mother (who does not charge rent and does all the housework).
P has always been the most studious, the workaholic working, the smartest (living with parents who compare their kids sucks), and has always thought of himself as the best of his brothers, but the thing about him living with my mom and getting underpaid is a sensitive topic.
Last week, I went to a family dinner (J’s birthday). I was telling about the trip I had to take out of the country for work and that I extended it for 2 days to enjoy the place.
My brother interrupted me (who asked about the trip was my stepfather and I was answering) and said ‘I don’t know how you manage to get along in life, being lazy, I wish I could do nothing like you’.
I laughed out loud and said, ‘The lazy who owns a car, has a house, travels internationally for work or pleasure at least once a month, and helps mom and dad. Yeah, lazy, but at least rich’.
My brother freaked out.
J was laughing in the background. Well, 30 minutes later I had to go to my hotel.
My mom says she won’t have any more family dinners until I apologize. My dad agrees in part, and J says it was the best thing P could ever hear.
But tell me, AITJ?”
25. AITJ For Telling My Half-Brother He Has No Right To Dictate How Things Go?
“I was estranged from my father for close to 30 years.
The estrangement started when I was 14. I ran away from home so much that eventually, the cops asked my dad to stop bringing me back because I was only going to run again. I went to another state to live with my maternal grandparents.
All this happened because after my mom died when I was 12, dad moved on super fast with another woman and as a wedding gift to her and her daughter, he gave them my mom’s engagement ring (that he didn’t buy, it was my grandma’s before) and her favorite necklace.
Both of those were meant for me and I was disgusted that he gave my mom’s stuff to some new random woman and her random kid. I spent 30 years hating my father, even after I left. I never looked back.
He tracked me down over two years ago. I ignored him for almost a year. Until I finally agreed to meet up with him. The first thing he did was give me back the necklace and ring that apparently he had to spend a lot on getting back.
We talked some. I still hated him but was willing to try and reconcile.
He was married twice after the second wife. His third wife and he had a son together, my half-brother, but that ended. He’s still married to wife four and she’s not bad.
I actually, if I’m honest, like her more than him, and think she’s the way a lot of people should be when their spouses have kids with other people but this isn’t about her.
My half-brother always knew I existed and he was more excited than I was to start a relationship.
I’m still not entirely comfortable with everything. And my half-brother is so quick to try and hurry things so we can act like we grew up together. He started getting defensive recently because I’m not some doting daughter to our father and because I will be honest when I am not comfortable with something.
An example was I didn’t allow him to meet my kids until very recently. And when they did meet my half-brother was there and I did watch and made sure my dad didn’t decide to give him something that belonged to my mom.
The stuff I inherited from my grandparents is legally mine now. But I can still see him give those other two her stuff. My half-brother has told me I need to forget about it and leave it in the past and move on so we can be a real family.
I told him he has no right to dictate how things go, that our dad never disrespected him and his mom the way he did me and my mom. I told him you can’t do something like that and have it disappear quickly.
I told him it wasn’t his place to say any of that. He has taken offense to my saying ‘his place’. He told me he’s my brother and he’s part of the family so it is his place.
AITJ?”
24. AITJ For Telling My Older Daughter To Find Her Own Place To Stay?
“My older daughter moved back from her college dorm at the end of the semester. She has a 16-year-old younger sister. They have always had a strained relationship, and I admit I have done a poor job of mediating their conflicts.
After ‘Alice’ left to go to school, I noticed how quickly the atmosphere in our home changed. The air felt lighter. My younger daughter, ‘Daisy,’ was happier and more relaxed. She began smiling more. After a while, I began to realize how much of the tension in our house was due to Alice’s tendency to generate conflict and arguments out of thin air.
I love both of my children, but I cannot pretend that they are both nice people. Alice can be sweet and generous at times, but she also seems to enjoy antagonizing people, and her little sister is her most frequent target.
After several weeks with Alice back at home, the lightness and peace of our home are gone. She is antagonizing Daisy on a near-daily basis. Just a few examples: Daisy had several weeks’ worth of a show recorded on the DVR that she hadn’t watched yet.
Alice deleted them because she wanted to ‘clear some space.’ I bought some of Daisy’s favorite cookies. Alice asked Daisy if she could have some of them, and Daisy said yes. Over the course of one day, Alice ate all but one cookie, then she put the practically empty package back in the cabinet and acted as if she had no idea why Daisy was upset.
The last straw was just a few days ago. Daisy had washed a load of her laundry and didn’t have a chance to put it in the dryer before she went to work. Alice took the wet clothes out of the washing machine so she could do a load of her own.
But when she took Daisy’s clothes out, she didn’t put them in the dryer. She dropped them into a basket. When Daisy got back, she found the basket with her wet clothes pushed to the corner of the room.
She went ballistic and started screaming. Alice responded with a condescending tone of voice, telling Daisy to ‘calm down’ and ‘stop overreacting.’ Which, of course, made Daisy even angrier.
I tried to get Alice to understand that she was in the wrong, but she refused to acknowledge she did anything wrong.
After a lot of back-and-forths, she said, ‘Hey, life’s not fair sometimes, and the sooner she realizes that the happier she’ll be.’
I said, ‘If you really think you know what life is, it’s time for you to get out there and live it.
You need to find your own place to stay.’
My ex and my parents say I am overreacting, and that I can’t put my child on the street. I say Alice is an adult, and if she cannot treat her sister and me with basic courtesy and respect, she needs to get her own place to live until school starts and she can move back into her dorm.
None of them have offered to take her in, but they expect me to continue to tolerate her disruptive behavior for the rest of the summer.
AITJ?”
23. AITJ For Prioritizing My Stepkids?
“I (42F) married my husband (43M) 11 years ago. I have two stepkids (16F and 13NB).
I am incredibly close to both of them.
My stepkids’ mom died tragically and unexpectedly two weeks ago due to circumstances that I’m not entirely sure I’m allowed to include in this post. She had her issues no doubt, but for all her faults she loved her kids and did her best with them.
Both my stepkids are obviously struggling to cope with the shock of this, and my husband and I are doing all we can to help them process everything.
Next weekend would have been their mom’s birthday. This is obviously going to be an emotional weekend – the first events without a loved one are always hard, and this one is so close to her death which just makes it even harder.
I had originally planned a ‘girls’ trip’ with some old friends from college for that weekend. Obviously, when we were making the arrangements, there was no reason to believe this would have been an issue – the kids would have been with their mom, my husband would have had the house to himself, and I would have had a fun trip with some people I haven’t seen in a while.
However, a little over a week ago, I made the decision that I needed to back out of the trip to be with the kids. They never asked me to do this, but they both said they were happy I was going to be around for the birthday weekend.
I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal – this was not a super extravagant trip, it’s literally just two nights in our old college town together. No one needs to fly or take off work. I offered to still pay for my portion of the AirBnB which is under my name and said I would have to transfer some other reservations made under my name to someone else.
The group chat got quiet for a while, and then people started railing against me.
Apparently, some of the activities we were planning have required amounts of people, and with me gone, they’ll have to cancel them and scramble to figure out something else to do.
I also have worked at most restaurants in our college town during my time there and still have connections that tend to get us discounts, free drinks, etc., and now without me that might not be possible. The consensus seems to be that I’m ‘desperate to take over the mom role’ and am ‘screwing over the whole group to play mom with two kids that will never be mine.’ (Actual quotes).
I told them that I wasn’t budging and we could either reschedule or they could do it without me. They refused to reschedule, so I said if no one takes over the Airbnb reservation, I was just canceling it. Two people in the group chat blocked me and most other people fell silent.
One person called and said I’m a jerk for ‘going nuclear’ just because people didn’t want to accommodate me.
I know this is a complicated situation and I feel bad that things couldn’t work out like we planned, but my stepkids are more important to me than a trip.
I wanted to make this edit to clarify some things and provide some clarifications:
1. I have canceled the AirBnB. That’s just done.
2. I am friends with this group because this is an old group from college that I go on this trip with every five years or so.
I do not consider these people to be my main friend group at all. I have a current/better friend group.
3. The reason I still have a lot of connections at some of these restaurants is that I didn’t just get to know employees, I got to know the owners who I am still connected with.
At some of these restaurants and bars, I held higher-up positions than just a server or bartender. I was running promotions and event planning for these places.”
22. AITJ For Getting A Kitten?
“So I (22M) have always had an almost obsessive desire for a cat.
I used to and to a lesser extent still do watch hours’ worth of cat training, tips, and tricks for certain situations and reviews of cat products a week. But I never could fulfill that childhood dream, as my mother was completely against pets of any kind.
So there’s no surprise that when I finally moved out, I immediately wished to adopt my very own cat! I talked to my roommates about my desire pretty early on, and my best friend (22M) was immediately on board, but the second one (33M) said there was no way for me to get one, as he was allergic to cats.
That sucked, but I would never be petty enough to hold that against him, as it was a totally fair demand as I never made the wish for a cat to be known before he signed the lease.
A year goes by, and this man (33M) has well and truly been carved into the annals of the most HORRID roommate ever.
So it was with no uncertain terms a relief when he told us he would be moved out by the end of the month, I asked a couple of times to clarify the date but all he said was ‘You will never see me again before the start of July’.
So I started looking for kittens (which is not an easy thing lately, as the prices for kittens skyrocketed and it’s nearly impossible to get one that’s not ridiculously expensive, and I’m talking upwards of a thousand or more dollars).
After a lot of weird cat owners, I finally found probably the cutest thing to ever exist, and all for the price of a hundred dollars! I started buying the necessities, The scratch post, kitty litter, a big 10kg bag of cat food the seller recommended, and probably an unhealthy amount of toys.
The kitten would be ready for pickup on the fourth of July, which fitted perfectly when the roommate (33M) would move out.
I think he noticed all the supplies I bought because he confronted me about it earlier today and scolded me about how inconsiderate I was to get a cat when he was allergic, that I hadn’t consulted him, etc, etc.
I was monumentally confused, so all I said was ‘How is my adopting a kitten any of your business when you will have moved out long before the kitten gets here?’
He blew up, got mad, and said that he wasn’t moving out before the end of July instead and that I just had to cancel my deal with the sweet lady who I bought the kitten from.
I told him in no uncertain terms to kindly shut up and that I can’t bend over backward for his whimsy planning. I talked to my landlord, and he is fully on my side of this, but there’s that little voice in my head asking me, AITJ?”
21. AITJ For Not Contributing To Our Home Repairs?
“I (25f) live with my partner (28m). I’m in grad school and work from home full time, he works full time.
I make 60k a year, he makes 200k a year. We split bills 70/30. 20% of my income goes to paying for grad school since I have a bartending side gig that I use to cover the expenses of it.
We moved in together into an apartment that we both chose and things were fine. When the housing market started getting really bad, he got anxious about not having a property in his name and bought one. I didn’t really care, since we’re not married and he can do whatever he wants with his $.
Forward a few months and our lease is ending, and he waits until 3 days before to tell me we have to move out, they already leased our unit because he didn’t renew the lease and we move into the townhouse he bought.
I’m an avid DIYer, and my mom is a guidance counselor and previously an architectural engineer. So I’ve done tons of home improvement jobs at my mom’s house and my childhood home on my own. Kitchen, bathroom, backyard, flooring renovations, etc.
My partner is now upset because I told him that not only will I not do any of that at his place, but that is only in his name (as it should be). I also won’t financially contribute to renovations.
It would be different if there was structural damage or things in need of fixing, but he just wants updates bc the townhouse has all of the early 90s finishes.
I have enough on my plate right now with both jobs, grad school, and a lot of debt.
I’m not going to play Bob the Builder in my small amount of downtime, especially when I will never profit from it.
He said I’m selfish and don’t care about him, and has been acting weird since.
AITJ?
Edit: We split ALL bills 70/30. I pay 30% of every single bill (including mortgage, HOA, and property taxes) outside of grocery and pet care, which I pay 100% of. This doesn’t include our personal bills such as car payments/insurance/health insurance etc.
I did consider marriage and a future together BEFORE the surprise move. Now I’m not as sure. I’ve told him that, and before he ever closed on a property we discussed that I would not have anything to do with the rehab projects outside of recommending contractors and materials bc I have too much on my plate.
Half of his work time is spent golfing to network. I think this is the perfect time for him to learn a new skill himself. I didn’t have a say in the location, style, etc anything regarding the townhouse.
I don’t consider it ours in any way shape or form. It’s in a city where I’m an EXTREME minority and I’ve already made it clear that I’m not willing to live here more than 2 years.”
20. AITJ For Telling Someone Her Significant Other Was A Player?
“I got a DM from a girl asking ‘Hey girlie, are you Ethan’s ex’ and I didn’t know her.
I’ve only had serious relationships with two men in my life, none of them named Ethan. So I replied ‘Nah think u got the wrong person’ and didn’t think too much of it.
Then she replied with a screenshot of me and a dude I’d had a short fling with in college, I’d actually forgotten about him briefly. But we were kissing in the picture (cringe LOL).
She sent me a pretty rude message calling me a liar and I replied saying ‘Chill, we never went out, I forgot we hung out in college’.
She texted back asking what hung out meant and I asked why she had so many questions.
She said she was with him now but back in college she and he were also seeing each other and she wanted to know if he was loyal.
I was like ‘He was with you when he was in college? Yeah sorry girl but he’s kinda a player, I hung with him a couple of times then found out he was also hitting up both of my roommates’.
She asked if I was for real and that she couldn’t believe it… So I found screenshots of my texts with my old roommate group where we all realized we were being hit up by the same boy. And all being like ‘Girl nooo we’re all blocking him’.
I said that she ought to block him too because he’s such a player and she kinda blew up on me!
I texted back saying none of us ever slept with him cause we all caught on real quick he was being a player and that it was really rude of her to ask me for favors and then insult me!
She blocked me then I got a message from the dude who unfortunately works at the same place I work so he was able to get my business number even though I blocked him on my personal phone.
And he literally called me mad that I called him a player to his SO?
I was so shocked he called me on my WORK PHONE and I hung up and blocked him.
But I got an email from him telling me that I was a jerk for telling his SO she should leave him because… He rejected me and it made me jealous (???)
Bro what… I didn’t even remember him let alone be jealous years later!
I feel like I might be poking my head into something I shouldn’t have?
AITJ for telling this girl her SO is a player?”
19. AITJ For Removing People's Access To My Homework?
“I (18F) am in my last year of high school, and I’ve worked extremely hard to get good grades.
For some reason in my school, whenever a test is graded the teacher says the person who scored highest. This is how people know who the ‘smart’ people are.
About a week ago in my English class, we were assigned two different assignments, one being a paragraph explaining one of the themes in the book we are reading, and another being reading a paper and answering a list of about 20 questions with paragraph-long answers each.
A girl in my class (Amy) asked if we could split the work and send them to each other to get an idea of how we should do the assignments. I said sure, and she told me to do the research paper questions assignment and she would do the paragraph paper.
It took Amy about one class to do her assignment, and it took me about 2 classes as well as about 4-5 hours at home to complete mine. When she sent me her assignment, it was easy to see that she put minimal effort in and didn’t try to go in-depth, so I couldn’t use her assignment to further mine or add details to mine.
Regardless, a deal is a deal, and when I finished my assignment I sent my answers to Amy and thought that was it.
However, today I realized Amy shared this doc with 17 other people in the class of about 60 students.
She didn’t ask or even inform me of this. I know these students, and I know they wouldn’t try to change the answers to seem different. This could make it seem like I shared all the answers, which the school has a very strict policy against. Worse yet, it might seem like I was the one who copied from someone.
At least I had the hindsight to make a shared version and keep the original with the version history to myself, so I can at least show the teacher if anything.
I removed everyone, including Amy, from the shared doc so they wouldn’t have access anymore.
I got a call from Amy, and she absolutely tore a strip off me. She says I’m being selfish, and that everyone is going to fail this assignment because of me. She also said she sent me her assignment, so I’m being a complete backstabber and going back on my ‘promise’.
I’m now getting messages from people in my class who are extremely mad. This is all happening just a couple of hours before the assignment is due (even though about 12 hours have gone by since the doc was shared with them to when I removed them all).
On one hand, I feel horrible because I know that people are going to fail this assignment and I would have had a role in that. I also understand how it does seem like I’m not holding up my end of the deal. On the other hand, I feel like it’s my work and it was a violation of my trust for Amy to send people my hard work.
As well, everyone had at least 12 hours to actually copy my work so it’s not my fault they left doing it to the very last minute.
I do feel really bad though, and some of what Amy is saying makes sense, so I might be in the wrong.
AITJ for removing my classmate’s access to the homework?”
18. AITJ For Making My Wife Cry By Criticizing How She Does House Chores?
“My wife (24F) ‘Mary’ and I (23F) have been together for 3 years; living together for 2.5, married for 1.5.
I am the oldest of 5 in my family, and my mom was a single mom, so I was expected to help out a lot.
Cooking, cleaning, caring, etc.
Mary’s mom is a stay-at-home mom who did all the chores, and Mary said she was never taught how. I asked her mom about it once, and her mom said that Mary used to pretend to not know how to do things to get out of doing them.
Mary said it’s just something she did as a kid, but she doesn’t do it anymore.
When we first moved in together, I was happy to fill the role of the caregiver – stocking groceries, doing dishes, laundry, etc.
After the global crisis started, I realized how much energy it takes to maintain a clean apt with two adults being home 24/7. So I asked Mary for help with maintaining housework. She was super understanding and agreed that it is her responsibility too.
But, she would only clean if I asked her to. I was patient and asked for her help when I needed it, and eventually, she caught on.
I have noticed that her ‘helping’ isn’t very helpful. For example, I mentioned that it would be nice to get some help with the laundry, so she said she would do some.
She said it was an ’emergency load’ of undergarments and asked if I needed anything else washed. I said ‘Some leggings & sweatshirts would be nice, thanks’. The next day, I folded the load of laundry & saw she washed 10 pairs of her undergarments, a bunch of her sweatshirts & leggings, 1 pair of my leggings, and 3 pairs of my undergarments.
Example 2: She cleaned out the litter box, but didn’t fill it back up afterward. I heard her comment ‘Oh I need to fill up the litter box’ and I acknowledged it, but the next day it still was empty.
I got mad at her and told her that it was unfair to the cats and that she should have filled it up when she noticed it was empty. She said that she forgot to.
Example 3: when it was her turn to wash the dishes, she washed all of them except for our cat’s dishes (they are admittedly gross bc crusty dried wet food).
I confronted her about leaving them so I would have to do them, and she said that I misunderstood her intentions. She was just doing the dishes that she had the energy for, and ‘putting out one of the fires.’
To me, we have a list of chores to do, and we can’t consider them ‘done’ until the whole thing is done. I told her that she can’t drag her feet in doing the jobs in the house because it’s making more work for me, in the long run, to clean up her messes.
I told her that if she was a roommate, I would have moved out by now. And if I was her manager at a job, I would have fired her for making more work for me. She started crying and told me to leave her alone.
I feel like a total jerk for saying those things.
I feel like maybe I was being too hard on her, that maybe the chores are a lot for her to handle. But on the other hand, we have been living together for a long time and she is old enough to know how to clean up after herself.”
17. AITJ For Being Offended By Jokes About My Not Being Part Of The Family?
“I, P (29f), am 4 months pregnant with my fiance M (34m) and this is my first child. His family on the whole are very welcoming and often include me except for some comments that they make that really hurt my feelings.
These comments always refer to me not being a part of the family. At our engagement (his parents wanted to throw it for us) party I made a speech saying thank you to the best in-laws and his mom made a statement in front of everyone how ‘I shouldn’t say that as we are not family yet.’ I would like to add that his mom has had a few phone calls with M’s ex in front of me where she would remind the ex that they are family.
Two days ago the mom said that she wanted family photos but could only do it once my baby was born as I won’t be family until then. The whole family then proceeds to tell me how we mustn’t be too sure that we are having a boy and I am not allowed to buy boys’ clothes.
They rained on our parade as we were happy with the news (we would have been thrilled either way) and felt like it is because they thought we were going to have a girl. M at first told me that they are joking with me and that they wouldn’t if I wasn’t family when I tried to talk to him about it.
He has recently started to see things from my side when I pointed out my family doesn’t do this.
Skip to today. I am in a family group and the uncle posts this exact message ‘Dear Family and P. I want to have a get-together for my birthday and was planning a day out in the countryside on Sunday.
Is everyone available and P?’
I sobbed and lost it. I phoned M and said I am leaving the group. Before I left I replied ‘Sorry, but I have family things that day’ and exited. His uncle thinks that I can’t take a joke.
M supports me with this and understands why I am hurt but a part of me feels like maybe I overreacted and what if I just can’t take a joke? AITJ?”
16. AITJ For Keeping The Inheritance I Got From My Ex-Fiancé?
“My ex-fiancé passed away 2 months ago. A couple of days ago I found out he had left all his fortune to me. His family is now very angry with me. I’m not sure if I have any obligations to return the money to his family.
I met him 15 years ago. He was 35 and I was 28. He was a very shy and ‘awkward’ guy. I put awkward in quotes because that’s not what I thought but what he thought he was. His mother, his sister, and his sister’s children were his world.
When he turned 30 he had already told his family that he had given up the hope of meeting a partner and that he promised he was dedicating his life to his sister and her children. He was starting up a promising business and he was going to take care of his nephews.
When we met it was love at first sight (he’s the love of my life). His mother and sister hated me from the get-go. Our personalities clashed yes but the main reason was because they thought he had broken his promise should he start a family.
We moved in, got engaged, and set the date but unfortunately, we broke up and I want to say it was 99% because of his family’s interference and his not siding with me. We broke up after 12 years together.
During the time we were together my ex-fiancé’s business took off and he became very wealthy.
When we broke up he left me our apartment (that he bought). That didn’t sit well with his mother who harassed me to the point of sending men I didn’t know to wait for me outside of the building to threaten me.
I wasn’t having any of it. I gave him back the keys and moved to my home town.
Now he had left me all of his fortune. We never really stopped loving each other and he regretted not protecting me but it was too late to reconcile.
I just wanted to run from that horrible family. Now his sister is saying that the money is hers and her son’s. I don’t know but I feel like if he wanted to give it to them he wouldn’t put me in his will.
My best friend thinks I would be a jerk if I kept money that I had no right to. Tell me what you think!”
15. AITJ For Telling My Son To Sign A Prenup With His Fiancée?
“My (60M) wife (56F) and I have three kids, Harvey (30M), Dean (25M), and (21F). While we’re not wealthy, we live comfortably thanks to our family business and we’ve been able to provide a good life to my sons.
I’m a doctor and my wife is a lawyer.
I take no shame in saying that when you settle to form a family with someone, you should do it with a person who shares the same (or better) lifestyle, someone who is able to bring the same amount or more than you into the household.
My son Harvey is set to marry Tina (23F) next year. They’re expecting their first child right now and they seem somewhat happy. I appreciate Tina. I know she’s smart and has potential but she dropped out of college a year before my son met her and doesn’t have any intention of going back.
She used to work as a secretary for one of her dad’s friends but now my son is supporting them and apparently she’ll become a stay-at-home mom.
I can understand my son right now. He’s going to be a father.
He has a young beautiful wife and is not seeing things clearly. So yesterday when he came to visit us I sat him down and advised him that maybe, he should sign a prenup with Tina and told him that his mom could assist him with it.
He didn’t react badly or anything and only asked why I think he should do it. I stated my reasons and assured him that, while I have nothing against his fiancé, they have a huge financial gap. His mom also told him that if he didn’t want to get a prenup it was okay but that at least he should encourage his wife to form a career or some kind of stability of her own and that we were more than happy to provide childcare while she did it.
My son left after that and later texted us that his fiancé agreed to look into college information however my daughter said that we were jerks for getting in the middle of something and that if Harvey wanted to support Tina blindly, it was his business.
My wife and I are thinking about apologizing, but we aren’t sure if we really did something wrong since Harvey and Tina claimed that they’re not mad and Tina agrees that it’s best if Harvey doesn’t have any financial advantage over her.”
14. AITJ For Banning My Dad's Friends From My Vacation Home?
“My husband and I own a cabin at a popular ski resort. We’re there quite often and sometimes bring friends and family members, but we rarely feel comfortable letting people stay there without us since we consider it our second home.
Our friends and family know and respect this, or at least I thought so.
Now, my dad and his wife wanted to go on a skiing trip with my stepsister and her family. My husband and I decided to let them stay at our cabin since we’re spending Easter elsewhere.
They were very happy, and I talked to my dad on several occasions and he said it was going to be him, his wife, stepsister, stepsister’s husband, and stepsister’s two kids.
A couple of days after they left, I saw a picture on my stepsister’s social media.
It was of her, her family, my dad, his wife, and four other people I’d never seen before. The picture was taken inside our cabin. I wrote to my stepsister asking if they had a good time and who the other people in the picture were.
She responded they were friends of my dad and his wife, and I asked if they had their own cabin. She said no, they’re staying with us. I was livid, and I immediately called my dad up.
At first, he tried to deny it, but then he confessed that their friends had wanted to join them but couldn’t afford to rent a place of their own, and Dad’s wife had told them there was room in our cabin.
I told him they had no right to invite other people to our house without asking, and that their friends had to go. Dad said they’d already taken days off and they had nowhere else to go. I said it wasn’t my problem, he and his wife put them in this situation and they betrayed our trust.
Dad said he’d talk to them, and we hung up. We have a door camera on our cabin and saw the unknown people enter the cabin a couple of hours later. We assumed they’d pack and leave, but later that evening they still hadn’t left. I called and texted multiple times.
No response.
The day after, Dad called me and said he hoped I was happy, that his friends had to go home early after paying for ski passes and the trip, and they were very mad. I said again they put their friends in this situation by letting them believe they could stay in the cabin.
Dad said they didn’t do any harm and that he couldn’t understand why his friends could not stay a few more nights. I repeated that he broke our trust and that he knows we don’t want strangers in the house, especially when we’re not there ourselves.
They’re leaving in a few days, and I consider not letting them stay there again. Dad’s wife is trying to make me the bad guy and calls me selfish and childish for ruining their vacation and friendship.”
13. AITJ For Seeing A Gynecologist Without My Mom?
“My (16F) mom (40F) has no boundaries, she thinks because I’m her daughter (this never happened with my brother (24M) because he’s a guy) she can do pretty much everything she wants with me, she barges in my room (I’m not allowed to have a lock), she barges in the bathroom when I’m showering, she wears my clothes (because she’s thin like me), she still talks over me when someone is asking me something (teachers, strangers, doctors), she makes decisions for me (if I ask for something, she brings whatever she wants because ‘she knows me better’), etc etc.
I’ve been having a few problems with my period and I think I might have PCOS, so I want to go to the gynecologist but I don’t want my mom to come with me. She’ll make it about her (how she had them but still got pregnant at 16 bla bla bla).
She won’t let me talk and if I dare to ask she waits outside she’ll make a huge scene. So last week I asked my brother if he could take me and I pretty much explained the above, he said yes, picked me up from school last Tuesday, and took me to the doctor.
I had to get some tests but in the meantime, the doctor gave me some birth control pills and I’ve been taking them. Well, this morning my mom barged into my room again and saw me with the box in my hands and things went down.
I had to come clean and I tell her that I went to the Gyne and she gave me some pills.
She cried. Because I asked my brother to take me and not her, She said I betrayed her, that a man has no business taking me there, and bla bla bla.
Her husband (he’s not my dad and neither is my brother’s dad) said that I was acting like a spoiled jerk and implied I was using the pills for something else. He grounded me and I’m not allowed to eat dinner.
He also said I have to clean his car tomorrow and that I have to babysit his youngest (5F) for 2 weeks. I’m debating about calling my brother but maybe I am the jerk so I should just suck it up.”
12. WIBTJ If I Fail A Student For Speaking A Different Dialect During Class?
“We are having exams coming up and I have a huge moral dilemma. I am a lecturer at a university and one of the subjects I teach is related to phonology and pronunciation. We teach our students Castilian Spanish.
This year, I have a first-year student who refuses to follow the pronunciation that is being taught.
She (Ava, obviously a fake name) uses a different dialect, a very distinct one with a lot of very different sounds, aspirated consonants, etc. However, the dialect is very much understandable, and she uses correct grammar, etc. Admittedly, she has excellent pronunciation, much better than we would expect from our 3rd year students but it’s not something we teach.
I have asked her before to try and adhere to the pronunciation guide we teach them but she said that she learned it watching TV and picked up the accent that way and it comes naturally to her and if she tried to change it, she wouldn’t be nearly as fluent in her speech as she is now.
Technically, she isn’t doing anything wrong by using a different dialect, she’s very good at it and she’s one of our top students but I don’t think we should make exceptions as other students, who are not as good, will then expect the same leeway.
Especially since I believe that her stubbornness and refusal to even try is disrespectful to lecturers and may come across as if she’s feeling that she’s better than others and rules don’t apply to her. Buuut, course requirements don’t have specific dialects listed.
We have oral exams coming up soon and I am considering failing her if she doesn’t use the dialect that is taught. I spoke to my colleagues and some of them agree with me but others have said that I would be the jerk because she’s not making mistakes and shouldn’t be failed for the way she speaks especially since this is how a language is used natively in some countries.
But we fail students if they speak with really bad pronunciation so I don’t see why I shouldn’t fail her for speaking with a different one. So WIBTJ if I failed her?”
11. WIBTJ If I Uninvite My Brother From My Dad's Funeral?
“I have three younger siblings, two brothers (Andrew and Ben), and one sister (Claire).
When we were younger, my father discovered Ben was gay. He was enraged and probably would have disowned Ben on the spot if it was not for the intervention of our mother. Dad and Ben never reconciled, and Dad did everything in his power to make Ben as uncomfortable as possible.
We, siblings, stayed close, but eventually, Ben could not take the constant abuse anymore and moved out. Claire followed but for career reasons. Andrew and I stayed in our hometown.
Dad died a few days ago. As the eldest son of the family, it became my responsibility to prepare the funeral. He was a prominent member of the local community, so attendance will be high.
Now we come to the main issue.
Ben wanted to give a eulogy and sent me a draft of his speech. Unsurprisingly, the contents were not flattering, and I rejected him on the spot. He got really angry and told me that this was his best chance to expose Dad’s hypocrisy, especially since he had the image of a good family man.
He wanted everyone to know how much mistreatment he suffered at the hands of our father.
Now, I love Ben unconditionally. He is my younger brother, and there are not a lot of things I would not do for him.
However, this is one of them. It is simply not appropriate to speak ill of the dead at their own funeral, which is supposed to be a celebration of their life. For all his ugly, hideous flaws, Dad was a complicated person, and focusing the entire funeral on his relationship with one person is too much.
There is also the fact that letting him do such a eulogy will probably cause a massive fallout in the community. Ben will not have to deal with the consequences because he lives in another state, but Andrew and I will be left picking up the pieces.
Claire is on Ben’s side for this one, while Andrew is on mine. I want to stress that I am not trying to cover for my father, or what he did to Ben. But there is a time and place for such things, and a funeral is not it.
Ben eventually backed down, but his husband tipped me off that Ben is still preparing to cause trouble. I really really do not want to do this, but it seems to me that uninviting my brother from the funeral is the only choice.
WIBTJ if I did so?
Edit: Dad was a great father until the incident, which happened when I was in college. It’s not easy being torn being two people you love, and even though I can say I did not hesitate to choose Ben, Dad was still the person I grew up admiring and loving.
I’m still sorting my own feelings out, and trying to reconcile the loving father that raised me and my siblings with the man who threw away everything for his petty prejudices.”
10. AITJ For Not Being Willing To Go To My Sister's Make-Up Wedding And Reception?
“I’m in the military, getting out in a year so I’m doing my best to save up as much leave and money as possible so I can transition relatively stress-free and have as much time and cushion as I need to get myself set up.
My sis Jenna knows about this. It’s important because she was supposed to get married last Saturday. Asked me to be her bro of honor at her wedding party, and said yes, no problem.
For this, I had to get leave approved, buy a suit, and plane ticket, arrange transportation to/from airports, hotel during her wedding, board for my dog and someone to go to my apartment and care for my chinchilla since I’d be gone a week.
She knew my leave days and texted me to remind her before I flew out. I got there Wednesday morning, and called her, no answer. Didn’t hear from her until Thurs night when she let me know they were eloping.
Asked her what was up and her husband’s sister had high school graduation Friday.
When the graduation date was announced they had asked her if they should push their date back a couple of days so she could attend. Apparently, for months, the sister has said she didn’t want to attend it but on Tuesday afternoon she said she was and had her tickets, and wanted a dinner and party Thurs and Friday.
Turned into a whole fight for her husband’s family. She told me that they had elopement as a backup plan in case his sister pulled something since she has a history of doing stuff like that.
I’m not mad she eloped, I get why she did and I didn’t bring it up so she could enjoy her time.
The only thing I told her was that I’d be going home early since she was going to be gone most of my time there. When Jenna got home she called and told me they were going to do a make-up wedding and reception in 4 months since they were able to postpone with their venue and most vendors.
I told her no hard feelings but I wouldn’t be able to attend because I need to be saving up my leave and money after that bust. I also told her if she knew elopement was an option she could’ve given me a heads up.
The call didn’t end on a good note. Her husband and both families have been telling me I should reconsider and show up. The most I’m willing to do is do a sort of video call during her ceremony so I can ‘be there’.
AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Telling My Sister I Don't Have To Buy Her Anything?
“I (17F) have 2 younger siblings (14F) (13M).
My mother works 8 am-5 pm on weekdays. When she gets off, she goes straight to my grandmother’s house or her SO’s house and doesn’t come home until 10 or 11 pm. On weekends, she stays out at night. Whenever I ask to go out, which is rare, it’s a no. Everyone has to come to my home, but then she complains about me inviting everyone over.
I work a part-time summer job. I get paid enough for my needs and to put some funds aside for my upcoming senior events. When I get paid, I put about 50-75% of my money aside and buy whatever I need. I usually have enough to last me til the next time I get paid.
My mother and I get paid the same week. She buys food with her first paycheck of the month and I buy food with my second paycheck. My mother buys mostly frozen food, junk food, and canned goods. I, on the other hand, buy fruits and vegetables (sometimes snacks).
So, about three days ago my mother bought the food she usually buys and left. I put away everything and continued my night. The next night, I went downstairs to find 90% of the food my mother bought was gone. I complained to my mother and she did nothing.
I started to crave teriyaki and shrimp fried rice so that’s exactly what I bought. About 45mins later, it came and my siblings were complaining about how hungry they were. I told them to tell their mother not me.
A few minutes later, my mother came into my room screaming at me for not buying my siblings dinner. I told her they were her children, not mine and I don’t have to buy them anything. She told me to remember that and walked out.
I shrugged my shoulders and continued to eat.
Yesterday, my mother took my siblings and me to the mall. I went on my own as usual and bought some pink Crocs. My sister found me and told me that my mother said that I have to buy her something.
I told her I didn’t HAVE to buy her anything because she isn’t my child. She left and told my mother. My mom called me and just whispered yelled at me and hung up. I checked out and went to meet back up with my mom at our usual spot.
After about 15 minutes, I called my mom to see where they were. She told me that she left and to find my own way home. I had my best friend take me home. When I got in, no one had said a word to me.
AITJ for saying what I said?”
8. AITJ For Asking My Sister To Pay Me For Taking Care Of My Nephew For 5 Days?
“So my sister and I are on decent terms, and she is in hospital for some treatment after fracturing her leg, arm, and 4 ribs when on a bike. I was willing to take care of my nephew for that time, even though it would be more food expenses when I don’t have much money and I don’t have the legal ability to care for children that aren’t my own for too long.
My brother-in-law couldn’t take care of my nephew because he is in the military and is required to do some training stuff that I don’t know much about.
But then, after the 3 days that she told me to do had passed, I called her asking where she was and she said ‘Oh, I’m out of state at a friend’s house, I will be back in 4 days.’ I instantly told her that I am unable to care for my nephew for that long, and she said ‘Oh you’ll be fine’ and thing is, I’m not getting paid for any of this or the expenses of food and entertainment.
I told her that she should dump her son on Daniel (my oldest brother) who actually has money, and actually has a working with children’s license.
Her husband will get back 2 days earlier than her at least. Her husband is a really nice and good guy and he was appalled when I told him.
But now my sister is blowing up my dad and my phones, and my dad freaking kicked me out when I came out as gay at 18 (he let me back in when I became bi) and my dad is now saying I’m the most selfish little jerk imaginable who will not go to heaven like the ‘slur’ I am.
My brother Daniel said he was surprised she didn’t contact him first, but he can’t care for my nephew now cos he made plans to go to WA (Western Australia, not Washington). I will continue caring for my nephew, but she is trying to say it is disgusting I want to get paid for taking care of my nephew for 5 days when I can barely afford rent right now on my own, and won’t be able to take him to an amusement park every day.
AITJ?”
7. AITJ For Calling Out Someone For Trying To Promote Her Side Hustle?
“I am in a profession-exclusive social media group for people in my industry where we support each other with job knowledge, product info, customer handling methods, and general mental support as our jobs can be taxing to our mental health.
Recently a post was made by a group member asking if anyone wanted to get involved with a ‘challenge’ to do with physical health and wellness. This is not related to our industry at all, and when I looked at her profile it was CLEAR AS DAY that she has a side hustle selling health, beauty, and fitness products through an internet-based company that functions by direct marketing through ‘ambassadors’.
She frequently posts loaded questions like ‘Who gets botox/fillers? Are you pleased with the results?’ and then posts about her supplements that claim to do the same thing whenever someone comments that they get Botox. And most of her posts have pictures of her with the products or are stock photos from the company of the products while she writes a post bragging about them.
So I commented on her post in the group stating that it sounds like a sales pitch from an MLM-type business, and I asked if was she trying to get more customers to buy from her online store as part of this ‘challenge’ she was trying to instigate.
She denied it being a sales pitch and said she was just trying to help others doing the job, and it would be an ‘educational experience’. But she did also admit there would be some products involved in it.
I replied saying that it was her profile that made me think it was a sales pitch for her side hustle due to how she used the same wording she does on her product promo posts.
And since her products are aimed at health and well-being it looked very likely that it would be those products that would be involved in her ‘health challenge’.
But I did also try to keep open-minded that she wasn’t just trying to use the big audience in the professional group to grow her side hustle, and I asked if this was actually about a different program, and not the one she makes commissions off.
She got mad and said she was just trying to help people who wanted to have healthy and strong bodies, and that my comments weren’t necessary and I clearly wasn’t the kind of person she was trying to attract and help.
The group isn’t a platform for people to use for their own financial gain, which I believe is what she was doing. And her reaction to being asked if this would tie into her side hustle really only convinced me further.
AITJ for calling her out? Or should I have not said anything and let her try and suck our colleagues into a sales pitch that would directly line her pockets?”
6. AITJ For Kicking A Parent Out Of Our Mommy Group?
“I am friends with this other group of moms in our housing development.
This guy, call him Jared, joined our group as he and his husband have two young children.
In general Jared and his partner have always been really odd, Jared is 25 and his partner (call him Mark) is 62. They have two children which they have had through surrogacy.
Now the houses in our neighborhood go for about 600k each. So not cheap by any means, but Jared and Mark both have an S-class Mercedes with all of the options, and a BMW M5, and a Mercedes SUV plus they go on vacation every month.
And when they are talking to us about financial problems they are really out of touch.
It all started when one of the moms was talking about how hard it has been to get baby formula as Target has been clearing out as soon as it restocks.
Then Jared comes in and starts saying you shouldn’t even be feeding a young baby formula, that it is terrible for the baby’s immune system. He then starts talking about how they have a ‘Wet nanny’ (a woman that also breastfeeds their baby).
He is like they are super affordable just go for a Filipina or Mexican one. That he and his partner have a Filipina, and that they are willing to spend whatever for the best care for their baby.
When Jared said that we were all honestly shocked, like first shaming someone for not breastfeeding without knowing her history at all, then bragging about paying some woman a low wage to breastfeed your child was disgusting.
It wasn’t just me that was upset the other moms were too. I told him, I was like Jared you know this really isn’t the group for you. What you said was so rude and disgusting please leave. He starts then saying that he didn’t mean anything by it, he was just giving advice.
Some of the other moms backed me up and were like yeah Jared please leave we don’t want you here.
He has then complained saying that our ‘hick town is homophobic’ and that we aren’t inclusive to all types of parents.
Two of the moms said that we should be understanding of Jared since he likely always grew up with money. I don’t see I was wrong for kicking him out, he added nothing to the group and just constantly would make everyone feel poor.”
5. AITJ For Giving Up Easily On My Kids?
“I (36M) have three kids (14M, 14F, 12M) with my ex-wife, my wife and I divorced about two years ago because I had an affair (Don’t need you to tell me I’m a trash human on this, I already know) so as she found out, we fell apart and I moved out to an apartment.
We split custody and everything worked out for around a year, one week with me, one week with her. I didn’t introduce them to my new partner immediately because I know this would be stressful for them so my partner wouldn’t be around when my kids were at my house.
After a year and a half of our divorce, I decided to let them meet my partner (35M). Everything changed from that moment, apparently, their mom told them that he was the home wrecker so they refused to come and see me by their means.
Then I forced them to come the first four weeks after they met my partner, (not a great idea) because that was the custody agreement, we get to have them 50/50. (My partner wasn’t around when my kids were at home, this was my decision)
They called me one day and said they wanted to change the custody agreement and only wanted to see me on weekends, I was hurt but agreed because I know that forcing them wasn’t a great idea so the first three weekends worked really well until I told them that my partner was moving in with me.
They went mad and told me that they didn’t want to see me again. Since then, I’ve been going to their mom’s house to see if they wanted to come with me but they just declined every time.
So I went on 02/19, as usual, to try (they haven’t been in my house not a single time in the last three months because they refuse) but again declined, so I let them know that I wouldn’t try again to take them home, I also told them that if they need time to heal I’ll understand because I know that I hurt them.
I apologized and let them know that I wasn’t going to try the next weekend but if they ever want me to be their dad again and whenever they want to come to me, I’ll be here for them anytime, any problem, any occasion, etc…
I let my ex-wife know that I’ll keep paying child support and I’ll be there for school events, sports events, birthday parties, Christmas, etc (if they allow me to)… but I wouldn’t attempt to get custody back unless they asked me to.
My ex called me a jerk for giving up so easily and not trying harder. They started crying and stated that I was a jerk for not wanting them in my life then I asked them if they wanted to come with me but said ‘NOOO!
WE DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!’
This last weekend was the first one I didn’t go to try by myself since they first refused in January, they called me and asked ‘Have you forgotten you have kids?’ I went to try again but they didn’t get in the car, I have gone to their school to pick them up but they refuse over and over again, so I decided that I’d not try again.
My ex keeps calling me a jerk for giving them up. They’ve talked to my mom, and my mom says they are so sad their dad can just easily give them up and also called me a jerk.
So AITJ here?”
4. AITJ For Being Offended When My Best Friend Asked A Different Person To Walk Her Down The Aisle?
“I’ve (26f) been best friends with Tiffany (27f) since we were both in middle school. We always talked about our dream weddings and how they’d be and it was always agreed we’d be each other’s maid of honor.
She announced her engagement in Spring 2019 and got married this January.
She asked me to be her maid of honor and I was beyond excited. During 2020 we didn’t see each other much due to the global crisis… so we did a lot of the planning over Zoom and FaceTime. She talked about someone who I’d never met before, a woman named Xenia.
She would say things like ‘Oh you guys can’t wear that color, Xenia is wearing it.’ or ‘Xenia says this wine is better’. I asked about her and she simply said she was an old friend from college (we went to different colleges so it makes sense that I didn’t really know her).
This continues but to my knowledge, all is well between us.
The day of the wedding comes and as she walks down the aisle a woman is with her holding her arm. She kisses Tiffany on the forehead and stands in front of me beside her.
I don’t make a fuss about it and the ceremony continues. I ask around and apparently, this woman is Xenia. During wedding party photos Xenia is either between Tiffany and me or they are taking pictures together separately from everyone else.
Then comes the dinner at the reception.
Originally I had 8 minutes for a speech but Tiffany’s mom asked that I cut it short to 4 since 8 minutes wasn’t really necessary and so on. Xenia comes on stage and says that ‘She’s so happy to attend her best friend’s wedding and that she was honored to walk her down the aisle’.
Then Tiffany makes a speech and says she’s so happy to have her platonic soul mate give her away and that she’s never been happier.
By now I’m completely confused and ask our friends what is going on. They tell me to be quiet and don’t make a scene but I’m beyond destroyed by the situation.
I pull Tiffany aside and ask why she didn’t ask me to walk down the aisle with her and she tells me she felt bad and didn’t wanna take my maid of honor role away even though she wanted to give it to Xenia.
She said that Xenia has been a better friend to her and brought up a petty situation that happened on her 26th birthday. She said that Xenia has been in her life for a shorter amount of time but had been a better friend.
I told her that if that was the case I wasn’t needed any further and left without making a speech or giving a toast.
This was on the 28th and since then I’ve been bombarded with angry messages from our friends and her family calling me a selfish person and saying that I absolutely had no reason to make such a scene.
Tiffany hasn’t reached out to apologize and our friends are saying that this proves her exact point as to why Xenia is a better friend. This all feels so unfair and I’m really questioning whether I was actually wrong to leave or not.”
3. AITJ For Not Wishing My Wife A Happy Birthday?
“My wife and I have been going over stuff to do on her birthday for the last month or so. It is now her birthday, and I had the day off my main job but I was going to do some Uber this morning while she’s asleep to make a little bit more money so we can have a better time.
She came in at 5:30 in the morning, woke me up, and asked if I had work because I normally wake up before that. I told her I didn’t have work today but I was going to go do Uber. She got upset and told me that I shouldn’t be doing Uber on her birthday.
She then demanded to know why I hadn’t told her happy birthday yet. I said it was because it was 5:30 in the morning and I told her that I was to wait until we were actually celebrating her birthday. Now she’s upset at me because she says that her family and friends have already said happy birthday to her and she expected her husband to do the same.
I told her she was being unreasonable and that waking me up at 5:30 in the morning to demand I say happy birthday is extremely spoiled behavior.
At this point, she’s telling me to return the gifts that I bought for her and that she doesn’t want to spend her birthday with me.
I’m writing this at 6:00. Yes, this all happened in the last half hour. I should point out that she has borderline personality disorder and she can get very angry very quickly and then stay angry for long periods of time.
She also already spent about $2,000 on herself last month for her birthday.
AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Not Making An Effort To Look My Best While Watching A Kid's Sports Game?
“My partner, the kid, and I went for dinner with my boss and his wife last night. A great time was had by all and we were both a little tipsy when it came time to head home. I was in a party mood so I decided to head over to my twin brother’s house and have a few drinks with him.
Funnily enough, my boss Bunny wasn’t in the mood for bed either so he tagged along and my partner and the kid went home as the kid had a big football match today and wanted an early night (this was about 9 pm).
Anyway, it turns out watching a heavily wasted man in his late 50s try and play Street Fighter while hurling abuse at whatever teenager is beating him is hilarious so we ended up drinking and partying till about 5 am.
Got 7 hours of sleep, a long cold shower, borrowed some fresh clothes from my brother, and headed off to the kid’s big game just before kickoff.
My partner sat with a bunch of parents from the school and in particular, a group of mums he’s friendly with that seem to organize pretty much half the school events. I was polite, we cheered, the kid scored a goal, and we won 3 nil.
My partner and I never really argue and he doesn’t tend to sulk but he was definitely annoyed and when we got home he asked me not to embarrass him in front of ‘the other mums’ like that again.
My crimes were apparently as follows. 1 smelling like a brewery, 2 being obviously hung over and bleary-eyed, 3 being overly emotional at the game, 4 not making an effort to look my best, and finally 5 my brother being shirtless (he sneezed and got blood all over his T-shirt on the ride to the game (rusty pipes LOL)).
I maintain it’s just a kid’s football match and I’ve done nothing wrong so AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Telling My Ex Not To Bring My Son Over Anymore?
“I (33m) have been married to my wife (30f) for 3 years, she’s currently 37 weeks pregnant with our first child. I have a 6-year-old son from a previous relationship. I was with my ex (33) for over ten years, we had been together since we were 15.
We’ve been through a lot together. We both had a substance addiction in our teens.
I caught on quickly that the effects of my addiction had detrimental effects on my body and I became sober. I got my life together and wanted the same for my ex.
I tried many things for her to change her lifestyle, but she always fell back into old habits. I met my wife during my time in college, and I of course caught feelings for her. She was beautiful, kind, and a genuinely lovely woman, though I had a crush on her, my feelings for my ex were still stronger.
That changed quickly, I fell in love with her, the more I got to know her. My ex didn’t change her lifestyle, I wanted to move forward. I left her and cut off all contact with her.
She was pregnant with my son, but contacted my mother, revealing that she was pregnant.
After my son was born, we had a nasty custody battle and I barely got visitation with him. She used my past against me and I wouldn’t do the same, because that’s still my son’s mom.
She did everything in her power to make our life miserable.
Every time my son was over, she found a reason to take him home early. EVERY WEEKEND. She is disrespectful to my wife, though she told me it didn’t bother her at all.
My ex even refused to let me have my son on his weekend with me and we had to take it to court.
It was an unnecessarily long process. I did get my visitations again. My ex was still coming to my home on my weekends to bother us, she constantly threatened to take my son away, this one time I bought clothing, toys, etc. for my son.
She accepted the gifts but ended up throwing all of them into a gutter while recording it. The next time she came to pick up my son, I confronted her about it and she again threatened me to not let me see my son if I get disrespectful with her.
I got frustrated and told her to not bring him here anymore, as she wished. She didn’t contact me for 5 weeks and on the 6th week she texted me, she would be bringing my son over, and that he missed me.
I texted back telling her that I did not want him here anymore, as she wanted and to not contact me anymore. I still fulfill my financial obligation to my son, I send her $300 extra every month to take care of him.
My wife is heavily pregnant and cannot deal with stress right now. I have to put our baby and her first. My ex blasted me on social media and everyone is against me for putting my wife first. I feel like I made a somewhat of a good decision, for my wife’s and baby’s health, not only for them but also for my son.
The environment between us was too toxic for him. My mother is calling me a deadbeat even though I still provide for him financially. His mother made it very clear she would never change and maybe it’s for the best if he didn’t visit us anymore.
AITJ?”
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