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I am so very so sorry for the loss you and your children have suffered. I’m also sorry that you are burdened with thoughtless, clueless parents. I hope you stay LC from them long enough that they take a deep breath and realize you are adult and a parent, and that YOU will determine what’s best for your family. I’m sure you’re reeling from all the trauma but your instincts seem solid: protect yourself and your kids. Take plenty of time to settle into your now living arrangements, and your little family will meld together and heal itself. Please hold strong to your boundaries, and shut down your folks at their first interference. (And I write this as a parent)
Firstly, I’m sorry for your pain at the loss of your furry companion. I know it’s always hard to say goodbye to a beloved pet. Secondly, I’m sorry you’ve spent (wasted) time with your jerk of a SO. As others observed, he was always playing the long con, with no intention of ever “letting” (!) you get another cat. Send this manipulative, lying cur down the road and surround yourself with only honest, loyal creatures, be they two- or four-legged.
She’s not only rude and vicious, she’s gaslighting you. It hurts knowing that you, your husband, and sweet children are subject to this nonsense. From a factual and legal basis, she is completely wrong: you and your husband ARE the fathers of the children. Obviously, people with a brain and a heart don’t have to be reminded of the law to recognize a family, but this woman seems to have neither a heart nor a brain. I urge yu and your husband to confront her, together, immediately. Draw a firm boundary that she will recognize you each as father to the kids, or NO visitation. And for now, make you’re both present if she’s near your kids. Your kids are blessed to have two loving parents. Don’t let anyone try to tell them otherwise. Obviously NTJ, but she is that and much worse?
I had to go back and check the date of OP’s post because I thought it might have been from the 1950’s, when blatantly sexist attitudes were sadly the norm and the impacts were ignored. Most of us have learned and progressed from then; clearly you are not in that group. Even more egregious, though, is that you seem to have no qualms about ignoring one of your children because you don’t find her activities to be interesting. Talk about lazy parenting! By default you are teaching her that her interests and efforts don’t matter to the man who, at this point in her life, should be the most important. You are also teaching her that that this is the appropriate way for the men in her life to treat her. I hope she has the intelligence and fortitude to reject such nonsense, and give up hope of interacting with you. She will be much better off, and will have a better chance of having relationships with real men, not a misogynistic caricature.
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