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Interesting that the other person who has been putting up with your mother's behavior her whole life agrees with you. NTJ. Mom is.
You might want to consider distancing yourself from these toxic people. They are all eager to blame your sister's problems on you, for the "crime" of not being a mess like they are.
NTJ Mom's SO is being overprotective, and according to your timeline, spoke without checking with your mom first. I'd bet good money your mom wouldn't be happy about SO speaking for her, and probably getting it wrong.
I'm a Director, and male, and 64. And although I don't think you're TJ, I'm going to side with the actress. Unless it's a period piece, the fact is that some women these days don't shave. That's how the actress sees her character. This is probably not the hill to die on.
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