I am so sorry they are not showing you the love and compassion you deserve. Your mother is a strong woman and so are you. Please be sure your S O is strong enough to choose you over his family. If he isn't, remember to choose yourself, no matter what. They are not nice people.
YTA. Very cringey. You sound like you need to figure out how to related to women in a more suitable way. I have not seen it, but I read that the movie "Seeking Asian Female" does a good job of showing this fetishization. I'm wondering about your ability to read social cues, as everyone was uncomfortable and you just kept going.
YTA. People do change, and friends support them. It does not sound like she has changed in negative ways and has still made time for friends. I don't know which hobbies you think are pretentious either. You frankly sound like a lot younger than you are. If you have access to therapy, you might find out how to be a better friend in the future.
NTA. She does not sound like a good friend, and it sounds like she is getting herself too deep into an extravagent wedding that she can't afford. I have a hard time asking a friend for a ride to the eye doctor lol.