People Ask For An Analysis Of Their "Am I The Jerk?" Story

"I (24F) have been living with 2 roommates A (30M) and B (26M) for 4 years now.

We have separate leases, I rent the master bedroom with a walk-in closet and ensuite with a bathtub, they each rent a room with a simple closet and share the other bathroom with a shower.

We split all bills (utilities, gas, streaming services...) equally.

When they first moved in (after I had lived there on my own for 2 months), I proposed we have a sort of "contract" to nip any roommate problems in the bud. We came up with this agreement:

We each are responsible for cleaning our private areas, they are responsible for cleaning the shared areas and in exchange, I do all the grocery shopping and cooking.

Usually, I send a meal plan to the GC, they send back any changes they want, I grocery shop and send the receipt, and they send me what they owe me (I also buy them their snacks, which are not shared, and their toiletries...etc.).

It's worked for us since Feb 2018. There have been partners for both of them, most of them did not like me, but I got along with some of them.

3 months ago B asked to move in his partner of 6 months, we agreed as long as she agreed to the "contract" and we split the expenses by 4.

She did, and then she moved in.

About a month in she has already complained about paying for HBO since she doesn't use it, complained about me not cleaning the shared space, wanted to force me out of my room since she didn't want to share the bathroom with A, wanted to force me to share my bathroom with her, and finally upped her complaints about my job.

B started taking her side, so I talked with A, and we told them that B was out of the agreement, the utilities will be split by 4 but the streaming services will be split by me and A, and they can pay for their own.

Also, I will no longer be cooking or shopping for B and his girl.

They are now trying to backtrack, it has caused them more grief than they thought, but I refuse to go back to the old deal. So AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ.

Her opportunity to negotiate any part of the established contract was before/when she was moving in, not once she moved in after already agreeing to them. You and A agreed to her moving in on the assumption she’d follow the contract. If she wanted to disagree with it or propose changes, she should’ve given you and A the opportunity to weigh in or say no before she moved in." Whoevenknowswhat

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. It's entirely up to you and A to decide if you want to let B back into the old contract or not. B's partner sounds like a toxic drama llama who wants everything her way. IMO you're better off leaving her out of the agreement.

B is collateral damage. He earned his consequences first by not stopping her and then by agreeing with her. The one wrinkle I see is that you were exempt from cleaning common areas as a result of shopping and cooking. If you aren't shopping or cleaning for B and his partner, it seems like you should pick up a share of common area duties." throw05282021

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. Your lease is for that room specifically, it's not something she can arbitrarily change, just like I cannot tell my neighbor that we should switch houses because I like theirs better. She also doesn’t get to come in and make changes to an agreement that pre-existed her and that she agreed to as a condition of her moving in.

Sounds to me like she tried to throw her weight around, and it backfired on her. That's entirely a her problem, not your problem." krakeninheels