People Put Our Judgment To The Test With Their Bizarre "Am I The Jerk" Stories

"I (30 F) was at my grandmother's house for a family pre-Thanksgiving get-together tonight. My grandma is actually my stepdad's mom, but she, my late grandpa, and my stepdad's sister & nephews have always treated me like family since my mom & stepdad have been together since I was 3.

My stepdad's brother (50s M) and his wife who we'll call Bonnie (50s F) have always been weird to me. When I was little, I called her Aunt Bonnie and she responded, 'I'm not your aunt.'

When they got married, all of the little kids in the family were invited except me (I was the oldest child at that time).

They bought me Christmas presents until I was 18 but, to this day, still buy presents for my cousins & sister (who are all adults). And, for some reason, Bonnie won't be my friend on social media. I added her years ago and she denied me.

After my grandpa died last year I added her again (thinking we bonded over that week) and she denied me again. She's friends with members of my mom's family, but not with me. I was always a well-behaved kid so I honestly don't know what her issue is.

My mom just says, 'She's weird.'

Not gonna lie, it stings a bit, but I try not to let it get to me. Recently, I got engaged to my long-term partner. At dinner tonight, the topic of my wedding came up, and how I plan to get married in October.

Bonnie mentioned how her family friend is getting married on October (date) so to not schedule mine that day. I said, 'Oh that's fine, I'm only having my family at my wedding anyway.' She looked really taken aback.

My other aunt (stepdad's sister) said, 'I would have thought we were your family.'

And, of course, I felt bad because she has always been so kind to me, so I immediately said, 'Oh, you are. She just won't even add me on social media.'

My cousin, sensing the tension, changed the subject but it was definitely awkward, and Bonnie, her husband, and kids left soon after.

My mom said I was highly inappropriate and that this was going to upset Grandma (who is deaf and didn't hear anything that happened). I said that I wasn't planning on inviting Bonnie & her husband to my wedding and she was going to find out eventually so why lie to them? I mean, why would I pay $90 a plate for someone who couldn't care less about me? Mom wants me to reach out and apologize but I am not really that sorry.

So... AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"Nope, you are not the jerk. Bonnie made the rules for how she treated you of which you were hurt by her treatment.

Now she wants to come to your engagement/wedding. If your mom is pressuring you then advise her that Bonnie made it clear to you when you were younger that she wasn't your aunt and she laid the ground rules for the relationship we never formed.

Bonnie didn't invite you to her wedding whilst inviting other kids, stopped getting you Christmas presents while continuing with the other kids, and basically has gone out of her way to exclude you. Perhaps reach out to the other aunt and advise she has treated you as family and you didn't intend to offend her.

Then clarify why you didn't intend on inviting Bonnie as Bonnie had made it clear how she felt about you." IamMaggieMoo

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. Talk to your mother with your stepfather present and explain exactly why you will not be inviting them to your wedding.

Enumerate the slights and tell them that after all her pettiness, you have no intention of having her there. And then to tell you that you shouldn't schedule YOUR wedding at the same time as her friend's daughter? What was that about?

Your mother calls her weird, does your stepfather know about any of this?

He's the one who should be talking to his brother to let him know why they won't be welcome at your wedding. And don't let anyone try to tell you that 'family' is more important because she and her husband have made it clear through the years that they don't consider you family. She's now reaping what she sowed." kol_al