People Express Their Worries About Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"I have a nut allergy and live with my partner. I prefer that she doesn’t eat nuts at all, but I feel bad dictating what she eats so all I ask from her is that when she eats something with nuts in it she washes it and puts it in the dishwasher right away.

Peanuts can potentially kill, other tree nuts are not as bad but still make me react in a way where I need some sort of medical attention/medicine.

This morning I woke up about 2 hours earlier than her and there was a bowl with almond granola in it in the corner of the sink.

When my partner woke up and came to make breakfast in the kitchen, I asked her if she could not leave anything with nuts in it in the sink for an extended period of time. She asked me why I couldn’t just work around it, and I told her it made me uncomfortable given my allergies. When I cited my allergies she kept on saying it’s not a big deal and getting mad at me for making it into a big deal. I proceeded to then get mad at her for not acknowledging what I was saying and being defensive.

She got really mad at me for ruining her morning, claiming that she shouldn’t have to bend her back for me and that I should’ve just gotten over it, while I was upset that she was not respecting my allergies and space. To be clear I wasn’t upset to start with, as I understand mistakes happen.

I only got upset with her reaction when I felt that my feelings/allergies were minimized.

AITJ?

Just to be clear, I am not deathly allergic to what she left in the sink. Almonds will usually at best lead to mild discomfort breathing, worst case scenario has only been a minor hospitalization."

Another User Comments:

"YTJ to yourself for having standards so low that you'll voluntarily go out with someone who literally doesn't care if her breakfast kills or hospitalizes you. Come on, man. Have some self-respect. Say to yourself, 'The price of entry into a relationship with me is being willing to live without having nuts in the house that might hospitalize or kill me.' You will exclude maybe 5% of women by setting that rule for yourself and following it.

You might even find a woman with nut allergies to be with, they do exist." writinwater

Another User Comments:

"You've been hospitalized for your allergies before. That's 'we don't keep or allow these things in our home' territory, not 'you can just work around it while it sits in the sink' territory.

Your partner either doesn't understand the severity of your allergies, or she doesn't respect you. Maybe both. You need to fix this problem, and that means she stops bringing your allergens into your home, or y'all split. NTJ." CJ_Boiss