People Tell Their Grudge-Bearing Revenge Stories
56. Lazy Student Learns His Lesson
“I had the same math professor for two years straight. Let’s call him Adam. I respect the life out of that man. He is one of the greatest people I have ever had the privilege to meet. Funny, brilliant, and a fantastic teacher. I, on the other hand, can be a nuisance when it comes to school.
I’ve never enjoyed it and therefore have put lackluster effort into it ever since my Junior year of high school.
I finish year one with him (Calculus I and II) and he starts talking about this other class he teaches called Linearity (Multi-variable Calculus, Linear Algebra, and Differential Equations combined) and says that if we want or are interested in taking it to come see him.
The class sounds really cool to me so I go and talk to him. He says to me, ‘Roonie, if you want to take this course you’re going to have to put in a lot of work.’
‘Ok, Adam.’
‘No, I don’t think you get what I mean. I know you don’t put much work into my class.’
I have no idea how to react.
‘If you take this course I expect you to work hard and actually be engaged in my lessons. You WILL have to work outside of class.’
‘Uhh, ok. I’ll try.’ This is the first time that anyone called me out on that because even with minimal effort I still get B’s.
‘Try or will?’
‘I’ll do my best.’
Fast forward to year two.
I do well with working hard. For about a month. Then my social life went to trash (short explanation, my ex lived next door to me and the rest I’ll leave to your imagination). After that point, I gave up caring about anything. I still did moderately ok on his exams and homework but that was mostly due to an amazing friend who is brilliant and was willing to help me through my social and academic struggles of that year.
I didn’t learn much (due to a lack of trying) but he helped me manage to maintain floating. Now, let’s skip to the end of the year.
Adam had a thing he called ‘trial by fire’ in which you can redo one exam question from the semester over and get some points back. It was the end of the year about a week before the final project was due.
I head in for my trial. Adam is sitting behind his desk in his office and hands me the paper with one, two-part problem on it. He tells me to go in the hall and work on it. I feel really good about part one. Then for part two, I get some funky answer but at this point, it is like 70 degrees and sunny so I just want to be done and go back to my dorm and relax.
I walk into his office and hand Adam the paper.
‘Finished?’
‘Yeah, I think so.’
‘Ok show me.’
‘What?’ Panic mode engaged.
‘Show me.’
‘Uhh, ok.’ I lean into the paper.
‘No no. Show me on the blackboard. Teach me how you solved it.’
I work my way through part one and he gives me a nod of approval. I start with part two and the entire time he has this face on.
You know that face when someone butchers something you are passionate about? That face. I finish up with an awkward, ‘sooo…. yeah.’
He just stares at me for about 10 seconds before saying, ‘Roonie, shut the door.’
Oh no. I go over and shut it. Motionless with my hand still on the door handle. ‘Come back over here,’ he says.
I stand in front of his desk like a first grader in front of the principal after throwing a kid’s toy over a fence.
He sighs, ‘Look, Roonie, you’re really smart.’
What? This is going a lot better than expected. ‘Well, uh-‘
‘BUT’
Aw no here it comes.
‘I get the feeling you don’t put any effort into this at all.
You come to class engaged and interested and are able to answer all of my questions. But I get the feeling that you never take the time to work on this outside of class. Like, look at part two. I just don’t get it. It’s not even close. You can’t do that integration! If you worked at this you would have been able to see how to do this in about a minute.
You just never try and master any of the material. I just don’t get it!’
I had no defense for myself. I just managed to say, ‘alright, you got me.’
He looked at me with a face so full of disappointment. A face that I will never forget for as long as I live. He sighed once more.
‘Alright. Here is what I’m going to do. You got part one right but you completely failed part two. I’m going to give you a 70 on this and that’ll bring this exam’s grade up to a C-. But you got to work harder, man. You can’t keep pulling nonsense like this forever.’
I just managed to say a timid, ‘Ok.
Thank you, Adam.’
I like to think that he helped scare me straight. I do work a little harder in my studies but I can’t be sure if that is because of him or because I switched majors and had a better social situation so I was just happier in general. But that is something that has stuck with me since.
I still do use that conversation as motivation, however. I want to be the guy that Adam knew I could be.
Adam if you read this, thank you for everything. I am truly grateful and you are one of three professors at this school who I have grown to respect more than just an authoritative figure.”
55. Fart In My Face? You'll Get A Boot To Your Behind
“It was Christmas, the late 90s. I was around 16. I wanted to go to the mall to get some stuff, and my mom really didn’t want to go but came anyway. I wanted to go to a music store (they had those back then…) and she didn’t, so she sat down on a bench in the mall to wait for me.
I came out not long later to find a crowd of people laughing as a kid took off yelling. Turns out some kid around my age was going up to people sitting on benches, bending over, and farting in their faces. He decided to do this to my mom. It’d been snowing and she had on heavy, wet winter boots.
As soon as he bent over, she leaned back, put her gross wet boot right on his butt, and pushed as hard as she could. He went crashing face-first onto the floor, and everyone around applauded. He was yelling that he was going to ‘call the cops’ on her and some guy standing nearby said something like ‘For what? We all saw you slip on the wet floor, no one touched you.'”
54. Mess With Us? We'll Mess With Your TV
“My mom recently started seeing this guy Ron that all of us (her kids) truly, truly dislike. He drinks a lot, is completely set in his Midwestern ways (we live in California), is always grumpy, and is just generally unpleasant to be around. Well, he eventually moves into the house. Great.
Well, one night he and my little brother (16) really get into it.
Since my mom tends to jump to Ron’s defense whenever arguments arise, little bro dies a little inside and bolts to his room to release some tension.
But this particular night he’s feeling rather vengeful. Let it be known that Ron is irrationally controlling over the television. Watching the tv is one of the few things he does in the day.
So in his room, little bro decides to download a universal remote app to his phone and torment the guy from upstairs. The way the house is structured, you can aim a remote at the tv from the top of the stairs.
So every 10 minutes or so little bro turns off the tv, and every time, Ron, befuddled, turns it back on.
Eventually, he starts losing his mind and becoming angry at the tv, even going so far as to call Dish to complain. So little bro is feeling much better at this point. But he’s not finished.
Instead of turning the tv off, he begins to increase the volume to obnoxious levels. And each time it is met by Ron trying to counter the volume with both the remote and his voice. This man has never been so enraged in his life. Eventually, he throws the remote down and hobbles away to the front porch to have a smoke, all the while cursing under his breath.”
53. A Real-Life Cinderella Story
“I had a foster mother that would always get me to do everything around the house because she was fat and lazy and thought I should appreciate her charity. One day she invited some neighbors and their kids over. As usual, I was repeatedly told to go fetch things or clean things, etc. As I was bringing her a drink for one of the children at the table, one of the parents asks, ‘Is that your maid?’ She turns beet red and replies that I’m actually her ‘daughter’. I had never seen her embarrassed before, so I enjoyed that.”
52. Invade My Privacy? I'll Dye Your Clothes Red
“As a poor college freshman, I started to notice my roommate would use my stuff without asking, things like my hairbrush (ew), my hair straightener, my laundry detergent, etc. We weren’t really friends, more so just coexisted, so it was a weird invasion of privacy. If she asked to use these things it would be different, but she didn’t.
When I started noticing she continuously used my laundry detergent, I had the marvelous idea of putting red dye in it.
A few weeks later, I had noticed this white shirt she wore was now a pinkish color. I LOLed so hard. Jerk never touched my detergent again. It was awesome too because there was no way for her to confront me about it without her saying that she uses my detergent without asking.”
51. Try Paying More Attention When You Mess With Me
“When I was in middle school we had a period just for doing homework right after lunch. In my room, there was this guy who would get up out of his seat and pass by me just so he could quickly slap my pencil while I was writing. I would smudge my paper and have to erase what I had and start over.
After he did this two or three times I realized he wasn’t going to stop, so when he was coming back from wherever he went I flipped my pencil so I was erasing my work instead of writing. He didn’t notice and promptly hurt himself when he tried slamming his hand on what he thought was the eraser side of my pencil. He never interrupted me after that.”
50. Annoy Me? Good Luck Trying To Watch The End Of The Game
“My younger brother and I fought a lot when we were younger. He was always the provocateur. He knew exactly what to say to upset me.
The TV was in the same room as all of the computers, so I was doing homework, while my brother was watching sports incredibly loudly. He refused to lower the volume, even though I could hear it over the music I was listening to with my well-insulated headphones.
My brother will yell at anyone who even talks in the same room that he is reading in, and here I was trying to form articulate sentences with the loud inane sports talk about the private lives of overpaid individuals.
After more than an hour of trying (and failing) to concentrate on the important essay due the next day, I ask my brother to lower the volume and he starts provoking me, calling me names that I am not in the mood for.
I get to the point where I am about to explode with rage. At this point, I would like nothing more than to punch that smile off of his face.
I notice that the game is close and there are about 10 minutes left. I go to the TV and unplug every single wire from both ends.
I was the one who had set the wires up and my brother didn’t (still doesn’t) know how to get it back in working order. I then proceeded to unplug the router so he couldn’t watch the game online or check the scores.
After he realized that I wasn’t going to set it back up, he yelled at me and stormed off. I, on the other hand, managed to finish my essay in peace.”
49. Humiliated My Student By Winning An Arm Wrestling Match
“Little background, this female teacher is a former Olympian with pro athlete siblings. Lots of experience with Highlands games and such. As a kid, the family rule was whoever is still standing is right (semi-formal, not just free for all, more like trial by combat). Once she retired she became a math teacher. By this point, she was in her 50s.
Healthy, but had put on a few pounds as retired athletes often do. Anyway…
One day in class there was a kid that just wouldn’t shut up. Obnoxious and disruptive. Captain of the wrestling team and just won some big championship so he thought he was entitled. After the third time or so that he was asked to sit down and be quiet, he basically told the teacher it wasn’t going to happen and she couldn’t make him.
She responds, ‘OK, not going to fight you, but if you beat me at arm wrestling, you are excused for the day, but if I win, you have to sit down and shut up.’
The class went wild and of course, he took the bet. She teased him a bit, then just slowly pushed his fist to the desk.
The student kept his word and never talked trash for the rest of the year.”
48. Keep Being Impatient And I'll Keep Taking My Sweet Time
“My wife, a few friends, and I were driving to LA from San Diego for a concert. We stopped on our way out of town to get gas in an uncrowded gas station with a few open lanes. Some jerk in an SUV comes squealing into the parking area and zipping around the occupied pumps to try and hang a U-Turn right into my spot, only to break abruptly when seeing that the area is also occupied by my car that is in the middle of getting pumped full of gas.
His SUV is full with his wife, an older guy, and three teenagers/older children filling the SUV. They all stare at me angrily giving me the Hurry up look and almost egging me on without actually saying anything. Instead of pulling away and going to one of the vacant areas because his SUV is too big to not awkwardly back up and around he just sits there as other cars fill up the pumps.
My pump almost finishes and he honks at me throwing his arms in the air as if to say, ‘Aren’t you done yet?’
So after casually placing the pump back in its container, I walk over to free service window wipers with water that most gas stations have and take my time meticulously cleaning all 6 of my windows until they are clear as summer rain and the guy couldn’t move because he’d waited too long for the pumps which were now all occupied. He sat there and raged, but didn’t get out or say anything. I felt pretty smug afterward, even if it was petty.”
47. I Beat My Rival In Front Of His Whole Family
“Back when I was like 12 I played tennis and I was really good at it (top 50 in Belgium). Every once in a while I’d play against Jérémy, a dude my age who was my forever rival. My parents could not really be there and support me as they had to work most of the time, mom would usually drop me off at the game and then pick me up afterward.
This guy literally came with his whole family, I mean he had like 25 fans and I was by myself. He won the first set 6-0 if I remember. I felt like straight dirt and tears came down my face. His dad started laughing at me saying I was a baby etc, soon to be joined by other members of his family.
The second set was pretty even and I somehow managed to win it. They kept talking trash and kind of bullying me during the third set and he had 3 match balls. All of a sudden my dad showed up, my hero, and I finally won the game. The kid was crying so hard I was happy. I high-fived my dad as I walked off the pitch. Such a great feeling.”
46. Won't Tip Me? I'll Steal Your Puzzle Pieces
“I was a pizza delivery guy about 20 years ago. Brought a pizza to a dude’s house, he had me follow him into the kitchen where his checkbook was. I set the pizza down, he writes out the check for the amount of the pizza, NO TIP. He said ‘you can find your way out’ and headed downstairs.
I walked down the short hallway towards the front door. Off to the left was the living room. Right there was a card table that had a puzzle about halfway done. One of those 1500-piece puzzles that are a real accomplishment to finish. I swiped 6 pieces of the puzzle and left. Hopefully, it drove that jerk insane.”
45. I Vandalized My Bully's House
“High school bully (rich only child with his own group of troublemakers) made my life miserable. Started getting worse – beat me up, peed on my stuff, etc.
I found out where he lived. Big house in immaculate gardens. 4 am, superglued the locks on all the doors, car, used engine oil on the lawn, a couple of kg of salt on the flower beds.
Spray-painted profanity on the front door. Plus a note on the driveway: ‘your son brought this upon you – ask him how.’
House looked like a wasteland for the rest of the year and shortly after they sent him to boarding school. Nothing else was said or done – but I have to admit I sweated the thought of repercussions. I guess he couldn’t work out which of his victims it was.”
44. My Brother Stole My Candy So I Made Him Eat Wood
“We grew up poor, and Halloween was a godsend. Each of us kids would keep a bag of candy in the freezer to make the windfall last as long as it could. The problem is that I knew my older brother was stealing my large candy bars.
So I set the trap.
It turns out if you whittle down a chunk of balsa wood, and coat it in chocolate, it’s pretty much indistinguishable from a frozen Baby Ruth bar.”
43. Football Helped Me Realize That My Brother Wasn't Intimidating
“I have a stepbrother who is 2 years older than me but was a grade lower. He was about 6’4” but built like a twig. Seriously the most annoying person on the planet. Really hyperactive, constantly emulating Jim Carey from Ace Ventura and The Mask (ruined those movies for me.), getting into my stuff all the time.
I wasn’t the most athletic person when we were growing up, and he was like 5″ taller than me, so I always felt a bit intimidated by him.
I played football for the first time sophomore year and he played as well. On the first day of contact, we are lining up in 2 long lines and just running at each other to celebrate the first day of contact.
I’m in one line, my brother was in the other, but he was all the way at the opposite end. We do this a couple of times and the coach announces one more time and practice is over.
I get the idea to try and hit my bro. I get so pumped up about it that I am able to run fast enough diagonally in front of everyone else.
My bro saw it coming, so it’s not like I blindsided him or anything. He even yelled something like, ‘Oh, you want some of this OP?!’ and started running at me. I knocked him flat on his butt. It was great. Couldn’t stop smiling for hours. I was never intimidated by him again.
Also, that was when I decided football was awesome. Mostly because of the hitting. Loved that.”
42. Accuse Me Of Wrongdoing? I'll Make You Fail The Final
“This girl and I are both applying to the same college but she has a lower GPA than I do. Because she’s a heinous jerk, she decided to go to the Dean of Students and report me for copying on my ethics midterm (ironic). I went through an ordeal because copying is a serious accusation and I faced suspension just because I had been accused, even without proof.
I didn’t copy, just for clarification.
Later, in the student lounge, a friend overheard this girl say that she made up the whole thing to ‘ruin my college chances’ because I was facing expulsion and at the least would have a suspension for copying on my record. I, of course, told my friend and other people who had heard this to go to the Dean.
Long story short, I was cleared of all ‘charges’ and the girl wasn’t penalized at all.
When it came time for finals, I made a Quizlet with just slightly incorrect information for a history exam. I made a fake Quizlet account so it wasn’t associated with me and then sent it to a friend who then sent it to the girl. When we got our grades back, she burst into tears because she bombed the final which was 25% of our grade.
Revenge is sweet.”
41. Spread Rumors About Me? I'll Ruin Your Shoes
“My ex had a kid with his ex, who lived with his parents to raise the baby. When we would visit their house, the girl had left her Uggs (more like uglies) at the front door to not track dirt in the house. She was always spreading rumors and nasty things about me, and it was incredibly annoying.
In revenge, when we would go to their house to grab something or dog sit (they didn’t like me at the house because of the ex always talking trash, so I only went inside when they weren’t there), I would drink copious amounts of Dr. Pepper or Root Beer or other dark drinks, and then spit it out in her shoes. Since they didn’t like me, I never went into the house, and they never knew it was me.
She must’ve had to buy 4 or 5 new pairs over the course of that year.
Heheheheheh.”
40. Break Our Mailbox? We'll Break Your Car
“My sister was going through a horrible breakup, with an awful guy that two-timed her with another woman, and the woman knew my sister and was aware she was in a relationship with said jerk. It was a very serious relationship up until the breakup as well. I was living with my sister during the aftermath of all this.
Just so happens his father lives down the road from us, and he would frequently visit, and his new partner would accompany him from time to time. One day I came home to our sheared-off mailbox and partially attached post sitting on our porch. I was suspicious it was him but wasn’t convinced, so I just set another post and let it slide.
Then it happened again sometime later. I rarely get mad, but I was fuming after all the pain he put my heartbroken sister through and that he had the gall to keep messing with us. I got a 6′-7′ piece of 2″ square tube mild steel that I salvaged out of my father’s work. I stuck 3 + feet of that stuff in the ground and poured a concrete footer with the help of my grandfather.
I attached a mailbox to it and painted it forest green.
Our suspicions were confirmed a little over a month later as it put his Suzuki sidekick to a complete stop and absolutely destroyed the front end. No one was home to see it, but it was the most satisfying thing I’ve ever done. My sister may have been happier than I was.
We took what was left of the contraption out after it served its purpose. I don’t believe it’s perfectly legal to do that. Sure did work though. He later said it was his partner driving when my father confronted him about it, which is a lie. It was in a neighborhood-ish area so I don’t think he was going that fast, but he got a bit banged up.
Never had a problem with him after that. The new girl ended up leaving him too a couple of years later.”
Another User Comments:
“Did that with a delivery truck that kept using our driveway to turn around in. First time – Hey, accidents happen.
Second time – Well, darn…
The third time – It’s on like Donkey Kong!
4th time – They left with a mailbox-shaped dent in their bumper.” MagicalKartWizard
39. Be Mean To Me? I'll Make Your Room Stink
“I was in a boarding house in high school and this one guy was always really mean to me. After about 2 months I couldn’t take it anymore and had to do something to make him suffer (but not too much). So every night I would take some milk from the dining room and pour it on his cubicle floor (it was carpet so it soaked it up). As a result his cubicle always stank and he never could figure out why.”
38. Ex Steals All My Left-Footed Shoes
“I have a good friend that has a nice house with a decent-sized yard. He has a bucket in the garage that he keeps old pairs of sneakers in for doing yard work. If he’s going to mow the lawn, he just reaches in and grabs two shoes to wear, it does not matter if they are the same pair as long as they are left and right-footed shoes.
One time he went to cut the grass, he pulled two shoes out of the bucket…both were right-footed shoes. So he grabbed another…right-footed. He kept going…all of the shoes in the bucket were right-footed. As he sat there among the shoes trying to figure out what was going on it hit him: He had recently broken up with a woman after a short-term relationship. A phone call verified that she was the one that had taken all of the left foot shoes from the bucket.”
37. Revenge That Keeps On Coming
“In 9th grade, some kid kicked me in the nuts at a football game. I was just walking and he managed to do some running start sidewinder kick – there was no way I could have seen it coming because he started this from behind me. It hurt so much I had to go home and ice it – but not before trying to chase him down.
About a full year later (maybe a week off one way or the other) I was at a high school football game and I saw him. I had never let go of what had happened, but I never had a chance to get revenge. So I decided now was as good as ever, and stopped him so that I could talk to him.
That should have been a red flag because I never talked to him, but whatever. After a minute or so, someone walked by and he turned his head to say something, so I had the perfect opportunity. As hard as I could, I wound up a kick and nailed him right in the nuts. He instantly dropped to his knees and looked up at me with a mixed look of pain and terror.
I said something like ‘that’s for what you did a year ago’ and then walked away. The next Monday, we got new lab partners for my biology class, and he was my new partner. He was terrified of me the entire marking period – never questioned anything I did, always did what I told him to do, and flinched a few times when I moved suddenly.
This is kind of relevant so I’ll add it. I think I scare him still to this day. The last time I saw him was over spring break my junior year of college. Pretty much everyone from my high school was home for the week, and for the first time, most people were 21, so a group of us were at the local bar.
Someone told him to come, which annoyed everyone (no one likes him) and unfortunately, he sat right next to me. The first thing he said was, ‘Hey, did you guys hear, so-and-so is a lesbian!’ That was news to me because this girl was a long-time friend of mine, and while we had drifted since college started, she was the only girl from my class that went to the same college as me, so I felt he was either spreading lies or outing her.
Either way, it was wrong. Anyway, no one was listening to him because – as I said before – no one likes him, so he kept repeating it to each individual person. It was starting to anger me because it wasn’t his place to tell anyone, so after the third or fourth time he repeated it I grabbed him by the shoulder, turned him toward me, and as intimidatingly as possible said, ‘Shut up.’ Our faces were inches apart and our eyes were locked. The look on his face was the same look he had when I revenge-kicked him in the nuts. He didn’t say a word the rest of the night, which was truly satisfying.”
36. Betray Me? I'll Delete All Your Files
“I found out that my ex (at the time was my partner of 4 years) had been two-timing me for 6ish months during her last year in college. Relevant side notes: She was a theater performance major and I discovered that the play she had been working on for years was being co-written by her other partner.
Also, my career is in IT security, and had software configured so I could assist her when necessary (her school was 50 miles away).
I split up with her, remoted into her laptop during her play practice, permanently deleted all copies of her play in progress as well as the 2 others she had already written on both local and cloud backups.
Then proceeded to turn her Windows registry into my playground so that Windows would be rendered useless after a reboot.
Poured myself a drink, and sipped it while I rebooted her machine from my home office.”
Another User Comments:
“What was the outcome of that? Did she know it was you?” observing
Reply:
“The jerk was livid, and for good reason blamed me. She even called my mother to confront her on it, which didn’t go in her favor.” crashdev
35. I Threw A Frisbee At My Bully's Face
“Throughout middle school (around the age of 13-15), this one guy would always verbally bully me with every chance he could get. He also stole my pencils and pens whenever an opportunity presented itself. He got so bad I had to keep all my supplies in a plastic pencil box I had fitted a small lock to just so I would have something to write with.
The worst part by far though was the insults and slander he would hurl at me daily. Throughout middle school he made me feel like a worthless human being and to this day I attribute a little of my self-loathing to him. It’s amazing what the mind will internalize at that age.
So on one of the last days of school, we were both in PE gathering up the various markers and Frisbees after class.
The bully was spouting his usual garbage about how I sucked at everything and I would be single for my entire life, and I realized something. It was one of the last days, and we would be going to separate high schools. With that knowledge in mind, all my bottled-up anger from the previous years exploded out of me.
I hefted the Frisbee in my hand, and I knew what to do. I hurled the hunk of plastic Tron-style right into the jerk’s face. The THUNK it made when it hit was the most satisfying thing I have ever heard. But me being a very mild person with little to no temper, I immediately calmed down and didn’t do anything else to the guy, despite him getting angry and practically begging me to hit him again. My only regret now is that I didn’t throw down and beat the guy up after that fantastic opening move.”
34. Bully Gets In Trouble Instead Of Me
“In 8th grade, there was a boy who bullied me every day in my first-period class, which was shop. He would write bad rap lyrics about me and push things off my desk, the usual stuff.
One day he started up and I just snapped. I took the drafting ruler we all had on our desks and smacked him with it.
The shop teacher sent us both to the principal’s office.
We’re sitting outside the office, I’m terrified, he’s got a smug grin because he just knew I was in for it. 10 minutes later, the shop teacher walks up to the door, goes in and leaves it open, and tells the principal all the stuff this kid has been doing to me the entire semester.
I watch as his look of triumph changes to confusion, anger, then fear. He is asked to go in and the door is closed. He comes out looking like he wants to cry. I go in and the principal tells me that if something happens again to talk to someone instead of taking things into my own hands, then sends me back to class.
If that wasn’t awesome enough, 3 years later my uncle gets married quietly out of town. To celebrate with the family he invites everyone to go to an amusement park. I am introduced to his new wife’s family, including her son. Yep. He couldn’t even look me in the eye.
Things are more relaxed between us now, but the first year or so they were married he avoided me like the plague in a very small town high school.”
33. I Jammed My Bully's Locker And Made Him Late To Class
“So yesterday, after school, I left my bag & lunch box on a random table while I went to talk w/ my friends. I’m in a private school, so no one ever steals from others.
When I came back, I couldn’t find my things. This one guy that likes to test me, because I’m a karate black belt & kickboxer w/ over 8 years of experience, always tries to annoy me, because it makes him laugh.
I never touched this kid, violence isn’t a solution. He hid my stuff & wouldn’t tell me where my bag was for over 20 minutes. My bag then comes flying from nowhere & hits the ground pretty hard (I had a lot of books in it). The thing is, my iPad was stored in my bag, but thank God it wasn’t broken or anything.
This jerk made me miss my bus… My mom then came to pick me up & I left, but all I could think of was a good way to take revenge.
So this guy’s locker is really close to mine, actually, it’s only about 2 lockers away from mine. The guy always arrives pretty late at school, so I knew what I would do.
At my school, you can jam someone’s lock into their locker if you kick it pretty hard on the side: it will be stuck & the person won’t be able to open their locker until they get it out.
So next morning, I arrive earlier than usual just to go mess around w/ his lock. All of my friends went to his locker & jammed the life out of it.
It wasn’t hard for me since I’m used to kicking hard. 40 minutes later, the guy arrives at his locker, everyone is there looking at him. His class was starting in 5 minutes, so he had to be fast. It was snowing outside so he was wearing wet winter boots that are pretty slippery on the lockers’ floor.
He started kicking on his lock to jam it out. After 2 minutes, he still couldn’t open his locker.
Here comes the best moment: he kicks really hard, slips on the ground & hits his head pretty hard. Everyone started laughing at him, the lockers are pretty crowded so a lot of people saw him fall. His lock was still jammed so he had to go get someone to jam it out & he arrived late, so he got a detention.
The best revenge I could have ever gotten.”
32. Upset Me? I'll Annoy You By Slightly Shifting All The Furniture
“Ok, this is REALLY petty. My husband is insane about lamps and side tables matching and being symmetrical. Like annoying about it. So whenever we have an unrelated argument, even after we’ve made up, I slightly shift a table lamp askew, or I’ll tilt a picture frame. For years he thought it was the city bus driving over a manhole cover.
He even called the city about it. I considered telling him IF the city got involved with rerouting the manhole. They didn’t. PHEW!
Just to let you know that this has been going on for 11 years now and he still does not know. So if he reads this: Hi honey, you’re not imagining things. I love you!”
Another User Comments:
“Asking city to reroute a bus line/manhole position because your pictures are skewed?
That’s not crazy at all….” CHUBBL3S
Reply:
“Ok, so I kind of need to explain a bit.
He worked out of town so when he would come home ALL the picture frames would be tilted. I would just ignore it or pretend I did not notice. Then he started to notice the city bus blasting by and hitting a manhole cover. The neighbors were bothered by it too.
So this started out innocently. We got into one small argument over furniture.
He wanted matching lamps, I wanted a more mismatched look, and later that weekend we were putting up picture frames and mine were slightly tilted.. he was being nit-picky about it, so when he left the room I just shifted all the frames. It was stupid and it massively snowballed. I just kept doing it every time he went out of town (every two weeks) because it was driving him nuts.
First I just did it in the living room, then I moved on to the bathroom, almost like the problem was spreading. Then living room, bathroom, kitchen. Living room, bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, kids rooms. I swear I planned on telling him some time.” zepoopsmith
Another User Comments:
“When my best friend and I were younger, she had everything in her bedroom specifically placed and freaked out if anything was moved, a lot like your husband.
We got into an argument once and she said something that really angered me, so for the next 6 years anytime she walked out of the room I would move around everything that I could reach before she was back. She couldn’t always tell what was moved, but she was always bothered because she could tell something was off.” stonershyla
31. Gave My Bad Boss A Smelly Goodbye
“When I was in my early 20s I had a terrible job at a store where I worked the counter to process sales for the commissioned floor staff. Management had me do nonsense work for them like blowing up dozens of balloons with this nasty goo in them for hours at a time whenever there was a sale on, even though I’m terrified of balloons popping.
The boss was horrible. She left notes critiquing me and the other young women who worked there every single day. She wouldn’t pay me for breaks and docked me for being 5 minutes late (it was a 3-hour round trip commute for 4-hour shifts.) She said I could work at a store closer to my house, (she lied) but wouldn’t pay me for the 1/2 hour it took to close every night.
We went through 9 counter staff in 1 year. By contrast, our sister store, which had a different boss, had the same 3 people working the counter for 3 years. I was one of the veterans, wielding there for 2 years, outlived only by a middle-aged woman named Karen. Karen was nice to my face but talked behind my back, I discovered.
I figured out she told the boss that I was violating the dress code. I had no idea how – Karen wore dirty Birkenstocks every single day. As a protest, I changed into the exact same outfit every day to work – dress pants, argyle sweater, black heels. When I got written up again, I marched into the boss’s office and asked her what problem she had with my outfit.
she said ‘well that one’s fine’ and I said I’VE BEEN WEARING THIS EXACT OUTFIT FOR 5 MONTHS. She had no answer.
That basically was the last straw. I got a manager who hated my boss but liked me to give me a reference, wrote a 2-page letter to my bad boss outlining how terrible she was, with suggestions about how to retain staff in the future, and then went into the depths of my parents’ fridge to find the nastiest thing I could get my hands on.
I found the most rancid jar of garlic dipping sauce, buried at the back and bulging at the sides. I brought it in a Ziploc bag along with some gloves on my last day. Just before I closed up, I opened the gates of fury and smeared a big old lump of that putrid fetid goo on the doorknob of everyone who had ever wronged me. My boss’s whole office stunk like death and the thought of her getting that foul stench on her as soon as she came in the next day comforted me in the way only true pettiness can. Never been so glad to quit a job in my life.”
30. Won't Let Me Take My Bag On The Plane? I'll Do It Anyway
“Was boarding a connecting flight through London and had my usual stroller bag with me. The ground crew was super nice except for this one lady who was just having a bad day. She for some reason decided my bag must be gate-checked. Mmmmkay…I didn’t want it gate-checked, it wasn’t heavy or oversized, rather a timid little stroller compared to the giant bags other passengers were carrying.
But she was adamant. I pointed out how other passengers were being let through with much more baggage and bigger baggage but to no avail. She finally just yelled – ‘Sir – Your bag is getting checked in and that is final.’
Okay, I was angry but didn’t argue any further. I just smiled and said thank you so much! Took my bag along the jetway, halfway through the jetway, before the baggage drop-off location – ripped out the check-in tag. Walked straight in, put my bag in, and sat down watching others struggle to fit in their bags. Then I smiled. Screw you, rude lady, my bag is going with me.
I enjoy little victories.”
29. Dump Me Over Text? You'll Soon Regret That
“Back in High School when I was 18 (currently 19) a girl dumped me over text and told me I was the worst partner she had, and that I wasn’t a man. I ended up going to the gym, eating right, and lost 65lbs (from 215 to 150lbs at 5’9). I turned attractive to other girls. Currently still on the road to being the hottest ex she ever had.”
28. Art Thief Gets Exposed On His Own Website
“Back in high school, I used to make digital art as a hobby. I had a small amount of early success with it, with a few social media followers (Livejournal, if that gives an indication of time frame – about 15 years ago), and a handful of commissions from record labels for album covers, etc. I had a website that I had made myself, which was a huge struggle since I didn’t know HTML at the time, but it worked and I was proud of it.
At some point, I was browsing my website’s traffic stats and noticed some traffic originating from a website in India. Turned out it was an art thief, some jerk in India who had created his own art website, looking to be hired for commissions. He had not only used my digital illustrations on his website, claiming them as his own, but he actually didn’t bother to host them on his own website, instead, he embedded them on his website, but their URL path was still linking to my hosting.
So I updated the images on my own website to have a different address, and then replaced the images he had stolen on my own web hosting with new images – plain white backgrounds with bold black text saying something along the lines of ‘(Fake Artist’s Name) is attempting to claim ownership of artwork that he has no affiliation or involvement with.
Please do not support this art thief. He does not possess the legal right to sell this image or any image displayed on this website.’ And then I included a URL to my own website. Hit refresh on his website, and boom, half of his images claiming to be his art now show this message.
It must have stood there for at least a few days because it took about a week, but he eventually emailed me and claimed he was going to report me for hacking his website. When I pointed out that he had been linking to images hosted on my website, he never replied back.”
27. I Got Back At My Sister's Partner By Making Him Step In Dog Poop
“My sister’s partner at the time (now husband) made a post on my social media profile after I’d accidentally left it open. It was about my new partner at the time (now husband) and it said some inappropriate things. I was friends with my partner’s parents and was completely MORTIFIED.
So, later that night I took our dog out for a walk hoping he’d poo so I could collect it.
I know, sounds strange, but I had much bigger plans for that poo! I collected two massive piles of poop (bull mastiff = lots of poo). I put one in a bag and put it under the seat of his car. Then I saran-wrapped his entire car, and strategically placed the other pile of poop right in front of the car door hoping he’d step in it.
The plan worked like a charm. He stepped right in it and was late to where he was going because it took him 20 extra minutes to unwrap his car. He didn’t find the other poo under his seat for a solid month. He just assumed the poo he stepped in was just lingering. It was great. Petty but worth it! And a great story that we retell and laugh about at almost every family function.”
26. I Make A Rude Customer Sit Next To A Bunch Of Loud Kids
“This was about 15 years ago, in college, while I was a host at a crummy Mexican restaurant.
It’s a normal, busy Saturday night, and this guy walks in, right past me. Circles through the whole restaurant and comes back and points out the table he wants to sit at. I do exactly as he asks.
I knew what he was doing.
He did not want to sit by any kids. Now what happened next was completely avoidable, but he angered me by acting like a smug jerk. I proceeded to surround him with every party with kids. Loud kids, messy kids, small kids, birthday parties, I’ve got the perfect seat for you!
I could see that he was ready to erupt, but it was too funny.
He came up and yelled at me in front of the entire restaurant for the slights. I played clueless and then went in the back and laughed my butt off with everyone else.”
Another User Comments:
“I was a hostess at an awful chain restaurant. I seat this family in the dining room, and then a family with kids asks to be seated at a table close by. I hear the family make a snide remark about ‘out of all the tables in this restaurant, she seats the kids next to us?’
I seat every single party with kids around them. Extra points if they were fussy babies or toddlers.” frightened_anonymous
25. Drink My Juice? Have Fun Going To The Bathroom
“I used to work at Target (retail store for those who don’t know). In the break room, we have a fridge which we all use. A couple of days in a row I would buy orange and apple juice to take home (off topic but I bought it on break because I used public transportation and the bus arrived 5 min after I got off so it was always a rush or wait another hour) and write a note saying ‘please do not drink’ and place it in the fridge.
Of course, by the time I got off and decided to get my juice, it would be all gone or half gone. Being angry after dealing with this for about 5 days, I bought a large apple and orange juice and the strongest laxative in the store. Mixed them and left them in the fridge with the same note as usual. The next 5 hours of my shift were the best ever. I mean just about everyone was going to the bathroom, from the store manager cutting meetings short to cashiers leaving in the middle of transactions.”
24. Princess And The Pea? More Like Princess And The TP
“My little sister NEVER changes the toilet paper roll. Like totally empty, roll under the counter, doesn’t bother to change it (it’s even worse when there’s no roll, I start to take a dump and notice halfway through I have no TP). So I collected the empty rolls for like 4 months, and the next time she did it I took all of them, pulled up her sheets, and hid them all under the form-fitting sheet on the bed.
It took her a long time to find all of them.
Shortly after she went on vacation and left giant hairballs on the sink and floor to get back at me.
I put them in her bed too.”
23. I Adopted The Dog The Rude Family Wanted
“I was visiting a local animal shelter, looking to adopt my first dog. I go to the back of the shelter to look at their puppies, and see a family watching one of the dogs in a cage through a glass display. The puppy was trying to sleep, and the family observing her was knocking on her cage rather loudly while yelling to try and wake her up.
Normally I would scoff at this behavior, chalk it up to an ignorant family bothering a poor animal. However, earlier that day I was supposed to meet someone at a park to adopt a puppy they could no longer feasibly take care of. After multiple hours of waiting, and countless attempts to communicate with the family to see where they were, I realized I had been stood up.
After hearing the family request to meet the dog in one of their rooms, I decided to do the same thing. For whatever fateful reason, I was given time with the dog first. Seeing her extremely friendly personality, and actually getting to interact with her, I instantly fell in love.
The employee who brought the puppy to me came back and asked if I was considering adoption. I saw the mother of the family from earlier looking around outside the room, she appeared to be having some rather harsh words with another one of the employees. Filled with the perfect storm of sadness, anger, and love, I happily adopted the dog.”
22. Damage My Car? I'll Stain Yours With Milkshake
“Some cowardly jerk t-boned my car and tried to lie his way out of blame to his insurers. Thankfully my dashcam footage and video walk-around of the scene killed his nonsense and got him a nice insurance fraud conviction, but it still annoyed me and ruined a weekend whilst I sorted it all out.
So a few months later I was coming home late, so I stopped at the 24hr Mcdonald’s and bought a large milkshake.
As I am sure you all know they are like ice cream at first.
I was close to his house (he T-boned me swinging out of his parking spot in front of his home) and I took the lid off the milkshake and placed the cup upside-down on his roof. Then I departed.
When you do this, after a few hours the milkshake warms up and becomes liquid again, but the seal between the cup and car roof holds.
That is of course until the fat, lumbering jerk comes out to his car in the morning and sees a cup on the roof. And of course, he picks it up.
Aaaaand milkshakes his own car. That stuff, if you place the cup just right, runs into the door seals, the air vents, etc, and is a pain to clean up without immediately taking it to a car wash.
From our encounter, it was clear this guy didn’t even wash himself let alone his car, so I hope it went sour in his vents and stunk all summer. All I saw when I drove past the next morning, was a pink puddle with a straight edge in the gap his car usually keeps.
I laughed like a Bond villain all the way into work.”
21. Humiliate Me? I'll Lock You Out Of Your Internet
“On the last day before I moved out (it was Friday), my roommates did a real humiliating prank. So I waited till they went to bed. Since I knew they don’t know a thing about technical stuff, I changed the router’s security key. I literally face-rolled over the keyboard, so I had no clue what I changed it to.
And I renamed their domain to ‘Yolo’ so everybody with a bit of brain would dislike them. Afterward, I woke up pretty early, took the microwave (paid a little of the sum back, but not enough), and moved out. I bet their weekend was great.
Don’t mess with nerds, if you don’t know enough about electronic/software stuff yourself.
No regrets, still smirking!”
20. Don't Think You Can Sneak Your Plagiarism Past Me
“At the time, I was still a fairly new teacher and (even concurrent to this day) thought of harmless as I looked like I could be a student.
An older teacher comes to me for help. She suspects a student had plagiarized a paper that passed the turnitin.com scan. The one clue being a vocabulary word that even Ph.D.
credentialed faculty couldn’t recall seeing in recent years. It went through the usual levels of the admin/disciplinary hierarchy who had tinglings of suspicion about it. No dice. So I was contracted for specialty-level digging. The probe & analysis went like this:
Vocab word that I don’t remember because I’m a CS major, not general science.
Written using Google Doc and shared with 3 users: student, teacher, and noname (original writer or student’s other Gmail account? never found out).
(Upon inspection of the physical printout of the paper) the student had used 2-3 VERY similar sans-serif fonts, size adjusted to look like the same font.
Parts of the paper were one grayscale color off from black. It looked like it could’ve been toner fading if it wasn’t in various portions of the paper where a student would normally plagiarize (end/beginning of discussing major points, hard to explain abstract points that were written in a mix of graduate or high school level language.) Non-detectable when looking at a computer screen, but was obvious to me.
The vocab word in question was in one of the weird gray paragraphs.
Almost an hour of Googling said word pulled up one positive hit from a book that was related but not directly to the paper topic. Rewording student’s paragraphs as a Google search with vocab had no hits, but paraphrasing that one sentence with the vocab looked eerily similar to the student’s paper.
Pulled up the previous hit of the book on Google scholar and cross-checked the physical printout again with the academic dean’s blessings and oversight.
The entire paper was a graduate-level paraphrasing of that particular chapter of the book. Complete with sprinklings of high-school writing to create a decent, cohesive, on-topic paper that almost fooled administration. Not just any admin per se, but the academic dean, who was also the English department head and her current English teacher.
In the student’s confession, the paper was sold to them and the parts ‘written by’ said student were obscurely paraphrased from the book it referenced by the original writer to avoid linking it back to the original writer.
I could’ve backpedaled my efforts, but here’s why we called this student ‘that kid’: princess of a student with helicopter grandparents who raised chaos every time their precious grandbaby cried over an ‘unfair’ grade throughout high school, NHS president, was set to graduate some kind of cum laude, and was also an active part of the school’s student life festivities.
Aka plagiarism is devastating to the reputation.
The consequence: 0 for the last major grade of the quarter which nullified exam exemptions, became one of the only seniors who took the course’s final exam and nearly bombed it, stripped of a pristine school record with an ugly black mark of plagiarism, no ranked GPA so had to graduate with the normal kids at the end of the ceremony, because last names at the end of the alphabet go last.
To this day, faculty members who are aware of what happened call plagiarism ‘pulling a Zabinski’.”
19. I Hid My Mean Cousin's Nintendo DS In Plain Sight And She Couldn't Find It
“My cousin was visiting for the day. She was being mean to me/made me cry so I stole her Nintendo DS and hid it. I remember distinctly, her coming up to me in my bedroom and going: ‘Hey, OP have you seen my DS?’ and I told her that I hid it. She went wild and spent the rest of the day trying to find it.
I didn’t tell her where it was until just before she left.
The best part is that I did a really awful job of hiding it, I braced it against my bedroom wall and pushed a box of fishing gear in front of it to block the view. It was a terrible hiding spot, but she NEVER FOUND IT. When she asked me where it was she was standing a few feet away from it. Still makes me chuckle.”
18. Be Rude To Me? I'll Bypass Your Cafe's Internet Restrictions
“I was in an internet cafe before I had a laptop. The shopkeeper was being a jerk to me (I forgot how exactly). Young me wanted revenge. Now for some reason, their timekeeping program was very easy to bypass. No administrative restrictions and even the task manager wasn’t blocked. ‘Easy,’ I said. I only paid for a few minutes, I stayed for four hours. He never noticed.
Bonus: I had this friend who talked trash behind my back. I found out his social media password (it was really easy since his password is on the dictionary) and changed his language to Chinese. He was freaking out for quite a while.”
17. If You're Going To Pass Notes In My Class, Don't Leave Them Lying Around
“My 5th-grade teacher had a very strict policy about passing notes in class, and a couple of years before I had her there was a group of girls in her class that she suspected of passing notes to each other, but could never catch. That is until one day after all the students had gone home, she found a large, stack of old notebook paper on the floor.
It was a note more than 10 pages long that had been stapled and taped together. The girls in question had been passing this same note around and adding to it, presumably since the beginning of the school year.
Now in my 5th-grade class, the teacher gave out lots of extra credit. She would put bonus questions on homework, give out extra credit assignments to students who had all their work finished, etc., and she would keep track of how much each student had accumulated throughout the semester.
At the end of each semester, she would have an auction where the students could spend the extra credit they’d accumulated on prizes, usually toys, and candy. My teacher saved the note that the girls had written until the end of the semester and then auctioned it off to a group of boys in the class. She said none of the girls in question passed notes after that.”
16. Got Back At My Old Gym Teacher By Taking A Dump On School Grounds
“When I was in high school I hated gym class (called P.E (physical education) in New Zealand). The jerk of a teacher made us do push-ups and sprints until the point of absolute exhaustion and the whole macho alpha stereotype was glorified and encouraged. Being a small kid, it was torture.
A few years after I had left I was walking past the school completely wasted one night with a few friends and one goes ‘I gotta take a poop,’ so I suggested we all go and take dumps on the old traditional grandstand on the school field.
This grandstand had plaques and was a symbol of the overly glorified sports culture at that school. The next afternoon in the daylight we drove past the school, there was a PE class and everyone was sitting on only half of the grandstand, the other half where we pooped was completely empty. Made me laugh so hard.”
15. Won't Share Your Book With Me? Don't Ask Me To Share Mine
“Back in middle school, this kid who sat next to me forgot his Spanish book almost every day. I would share mine with him.
The one day I forget mine, I ask for his help and he outright refuses me. I can tell by the tone of his voice he has no idea why he’s doing this.
I even point out, ‘after all the times I helped you out, you’re going to do this?’ He replies with an audible ounce of uncertainty, ‘I don’t care.’ I stare daggers at him and move on for the rest of the period.
THE NEXT DAY, don’t you know it, he forgets his book and I have mine. He had the temerity to ask me to share my book. I look at him square in the eye, ‘Memories must be short with you, huh?’
He just kind of timidly faces forward away from me. He knows he messed up there. That was the end of that one-sided bargain.”
14. I Didn't Want To Work My Shift So I Didn't
“I worked at this bar for 5 years. I was a bartender and served tables depending on my shift, but for having been there longer than anyone else it was expected/fair that I get more bar shifts.
This place, like most, was a wreck. The managers were always awful after the originals left and everyone that worked there acted out at some point…
the was no HR so nothing changed. I never called out, asked to switch my shift, or needed someone to cover for me. Anyway, I finally put in my 2 weeks and in the last week, one of the managers gave me a serving shift from the 2nd to last day. I called out because screw that I didn’t wanna work it.
The manager got mad naturally and told me that I would have to find someone to cover me LOL. I never did and I ignored the request and went back to sleep. Came in for my last day, a bar shift, and acted like nothing happened.
Funny note is someone told me the manager wanted to make me serve tables and not bartend that day.
I almost wish she had so I could’ve lived out what I had dreamed all those years and walk out during a shift and leave them hanging!”
Another User Comments:
“Similar story!! I worked at a Wendy’s for roughly over 2 years when I was 16. My GM was a total jerk. I’d ask for days off weeks or days in advance and I rarely got them.
My GM looked down on me and pushed me around and other management was awful. I usually worked 9-10 hours when I wasn’t at school. I even had to miss school to get to work. I didn’t know any better and thought everything would get better. They’d only ask me to do crazy cleaning (use a toothbrush to clean baseboards or clean them with a tiny sponge).
When I told them my concerns in confidentiality somehow everyone knew about it. They often spread rumors about me sleeping with everyone there and other employees believed them and went along with it.
Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. That last day, my GM had texted me saying she needed me to open (7 am) the store and my shift would end at 5 pm.
I worked drive-thru and had rude customers all day. I even had ketchup thrown at me. Everyone treated me like scum and my managers continued to do nothing and laugh. 5 pm rolls around but no one came to take over my shift. So I asked my GM what happened and she just looked at me smirking and said ‘uh yeah I changed the schedule a few hours ago, you’re here till 10 pm.’ I looked that jerk in the face and said ‘I quit.
Have fun closing tonight.’ I ripped off my visor and apron and threw them at her. And on my way out I had the glorious opportunity to say ‘screw you, screw you, definitely screw you, Bye Felicia!!’
I am now working at a waaaay better job with people that actually treat me like a human!!” OnLyPeAnUtBuTtErCaN
13. My Sister Wouldn't Stop Complaining So I Made Her Push My Car Home
“In high school, my sister always complained about EVERYTHING. One afternoon she wanted to go to the store but didn’t want to drive or walk. I had a research paper due and had already procrastinated too long. She asked me to take her and I told her I couldn’t because I was in the middle of my paper and was almost done.
She throws a tantrum. My mother, sick of hearing the yelling, made me take her to the store.
We get in the car and I notice my gas light is on. I let her know I don’t have very much gas. She says I don’t care I’m not walking. So I drive her to the store. The whole time she’s complaining.
We get there, she gets her things, and then we leave. On the way home, she’s being rude to me just because she’s in a bad mood. I knew I wouldn’t get an offer for a couple of dollars in gas, much less a thank you. Anyway, while we are driving back I accidentally shift into Neutral.
(Should’ve mentioned I drove a stick and she didn’t.) And before I could shift back she said oh great did you run out of gas? Light Bulb. I say I did and we can try to coast home. About a block away I start lightly pressing the brakes. I tell her ‘you’re going to have to push while I steer.’ She asks, ‘why can’t I steer and you push?’ I tell her I will be pushing too but by the driver’s seat so it doesn’t matter.
She goes around back and I get out and with one hand on the wheel and the other on the opened driver’s door, PRETEND to push. I steer like I’m going too far into the other lane and tell her I have to get in so I don’t mess up the car. She shoots me an evil look but keeps pushing.
Almost home I shout when we make it 20 ft from the driveway. Then I start the car and pull in. She ran inside crying. I thought my mother was going to kill me.
Also while in high school, they would serve us bland food and the worst was the sausages. Just sausages. 2 links. Nothing on them or with them or to dip them in.
I hated sausage day almost as much as I hated sausages! I managed to accidentally fix that when I brought nail glue to school one day. I super glued the sausages to my tray before I took it to be dumped. I laughed so hard watching the lunch lady try to spray the sausages off the tray. After that, they started putting bbq sauce on them. I also had to pay for the tray.”
12. Fire Me? I'll Annoy Your Customers
“I got fired from my job at a bar that has a nice fancy jukebox. If you have the app you can just pick songs on your credit card and they’ll play. If you hit play next on a song, even if they turn the jukebox off, it’ll play when it starts back up. It’s also unskippable.
They lost the master remote which lets you skip songs, so if someone chooses a song everyone else hates, there’s nothing at all you can do.
The owner does inventory every Tuesday night. It also happens to be a busy night because they do pool tournaments and it usually gets packed. I got 20 bucks in credits and that usually gives you about 18 unskippable songs.
Plus more depending on if the app gifts you credits. I picked a remix of ‘Cotton Eye Joe’, that comes in at around 7 minutes a pop. Two hours of hearing the same song have killed their business on Tuesdays. Even if they unplug it, it’ll still play when they plugged it back up. I’ve been doing it for two months so far.”
11. Karma Found Its Way To Bad Coworker And I Just Watched It Happen
“I did care work for a lot of years, visiting clients in their homes to provide care for them. I was doubled up with a woman who I got on pretty well with but was LAZY.
When we entered a call we would do whatever was needed of us, then before we left we would write in the care plan what we had done, what time we got there and left if we had given any medication, etc.
For MONTHS I worked with this woman, and as soon as we entered a house she would sit on the sofa and write the notes in the care plan, leaving me to do everything and only helping when we needed to people (to hoist someone and move them into the bedroom for example). After a while, it really started to annoy me because she didn’t do ANYTHING!! But me being me and afraid of confrontation didn’t want to say anything and make it awkward so I just got on with it.
Another thing I should mention that angered me. We used to have ‘Carer of the month’ where one of the staff would be given a bunch of flowers for doing a good job. I’d never won it before. This one day we had been to a call and the lady we had visited was in a bad way.
The woman I worked with just sat down to write the notes as usual while I did everything I could to make the client comfortable, chatted with her, made her a cup of tea. I went to empty the bedpan in the toilet and heard the client say to my co-worker that she was going to ring the office and nominate me for the carer of the month award for being so helpful.
My co-worker and supposed friend then turned around and said to her ‘I wouldn’t bother if I were you, she’ll never win it because no one else would ever ring to nominate her.’ And then proceeded to tell her that because my mom worked in the office anyway they would never give it to me because it would be seen as favoritism.
(Actually asked my mom if the client ever rang about me and she did, bless her.)
Anyway, one day we went to a call and we had a supervisor there for the beginning of the call. Surprise, surprise, my coworker decided to actually do some work on this call and threw herself into all the mucky jobs she usually leaves up to me.
As this lady was incontinent she had to wear a pad (adult diaper) so we had to clean her up and change it. My coworker decided to do the dirty end. Supervisor left halfway through the call so as soon as we had the client in bed my coworker went to write the notes.
Here’s my petty revenge.
As she walked away I noticed she had a massive smear of poop down the back of her arm (we had short-sleeved uniforms so this was on her bare skin). So I didn’t say anything to her. We had to do 4 more calls and she did every one of them with human poop smeared down her arm.
Never said a word to her about it but told everyone else that I worked with about her having poop on her arm. Found it hilarious! Screw you Andrea.
Never did win that carer of the month either.”
10. Cut In Front Of Me? I'll Spoil The Game You're Buying
“Jerk cut in front of me in line when I was in the games store. I asked him if he could move, but he did not. He was holding Portal 2.
I had finished Portal 2.
I told him every little detail about the game and its very interesting story. He didn’t let me into the front of the line, but I remember the look on his face when he was told about everything.”
9. You Want Me To Deal With It? If You Say So
“I was in 6th grade and my significant other had just broken up with me by having her friend bring me a note during the break… which is pretty much par for the course at that age. I asked her best friend why she broke up with me like that and her friend said ‘I don’t know, deal with it.’ Naturally, I was a little mad she broke up with me that way and I was hurt to be broken up with in the first place.
Well only a couple of hours after she broke up with me we went to the gym and played a game called cone sweep (which is dodgeball but with two cone targets for each team to protect). My brand new ex decided she wanted to stand right in front of one of the cones to protect it.
I threw the ball right at my ex and hit her during the first couple of games. Her friends catch on and decide to stand in front of her to ‘protect’ her. So now not only do I get to hit my ex with dodgeball after dodgeball, but I also get to hit her friend that told me to ‘deal with it’ a couple of hours ago. The best part about it is that I couldn’t get in trouble because they kept standing right in front of the targets so I played it off like I was throwing at the cones and not at them.”
8. Won't Stop Calling Me? You'll Regret It
“In my old department, there was this dispatcher who probably shouldn’t be a dispatcher.
We’ll call him G.
One day G needed to stay home for the gas and electric people to do some work on his home. Instead of taking a whole day off, he made the mistake of telling our boss that he’ll be at work no later than 12 pm, but he could be there sooner if it’s really busy.
G said he’d call to see how we were doing to see if he needed to come in early. I was left to dispatch for that day.
This guy…
I came in at 6 am. Starting at 7 am he called numerous times. By the time it reached 9 am, G must have called at least 20 times.
Each time saying the same exact thing ‘Is it busy? How does it look? Do I need to come in?’ By the 20th call, I got fed up and told him that it’s really busy and we could use the help if he’s able to show up. He hesitates because he has no one to watch the house, but eventually agrees and says he’ll be at work in a few minutes.
When he came in I let him know about the workload. He realized that it wasn’t that busy and asked why I did that. My response? ‘Because you called me more than an angry ex. I had to stop you somehow.’ Our boss wouldn’t let him leave and thought the whole thing was hilarious especially since G knows better than to do things like that to me.”
7. Refuse To Pitch In? We'll Eat All Your Cereal
“I had an awful roommate in college. 5 of us rented an apartment. We’d all chip in for food, except the awful guy. He’d hide food in his room, where he had a mini-fridge hidden in his closet. He wouldn’t do dishes (I didn’t use all that stuff), despite all of us agreeing to rotate the chores before we even moved in together.
He was filthy, ate our collective food, refused to clean up his share & I even caught him straight up spitting on the floor.
One night while he was still in class we’d discovered his stash. We all made gigantic mixing bowls of cereal with the boxes from his closet & his gallon of milk. We were all watching TV eating whole boxes of his cereal when he got home. He came in & noticed & just said ‘Yo, that’s messed up guys.’ No. What’s messed up is you not doing your part & abiding by what we all agreed upon.”
They also let several people stay rent free at the house for months and we're offended when I said those people needed to start paying rent and utilities. So glad I got out of there.
6. I Got Back At My Roommate By Letting It Rip
“Best fart revenge story I’ve ever told.
I’m a female. I was living in a dorm with another female, though she was passive-aggressive, high-strung, and very uptight about her things. I could get along with literally anyone, but apparently not her. We had our own bedrooms, which were next to each other and opened up to a small kitchen with a shared bathroom.
Leading up to the revenge fart, we had pretty much established through many unpleasant interactions that we weren’t really friends. We just sort of tolerated each other.
One day we were in our separate bedrooms and we had our doors open (which is rare for her). I’m sitting in my room at my desk on my laptop when my belly starts making the fart rumbles.
You know the ones. I had a moment where I thought I should close my door or at least be discrete for my neighbor. But then I had a glorious moment of clarity.
I thought ‘screw it’ and let out a loud, disgusting, fog horn fart. I didn’t think it would be that bad. The entire thing lasted about 4 seconds.
She had 100% heard me. I started laughing uncontrollably at the thought of her next door with her nose scrunched up like ‘what is wrong with her.’ Of course, my laughing caused me to fart more. I lost it. Here’s my neighbor, who I hate, listening to me cackle at my own farts. I remember hearing her door slowly close with a click. She didn’t talk to me much after that. I think there’s something wrong with me.”
5. Make My Brother Cry? You'll Pay For It
“I was just a kid, around, I believe, ten? Eight? I forgot, it was a really long time ago.
Anyway, I was outside playing in front of the school, when suddenly I noticed my younger brother crying, or actually, some people from my school came up to me and told me my brother was crying. So I went to him, and he said that some guy insulted our mom.
So the first thing I did was walk up to this dude, and said, ‘Hey,’ and then gave him a knee in his groins.
Not my finest moment, but the only time I actually got revenge. I’m actually quite non-reactive on stuff.”
4. Won't Take Out Our Trash? We'll Take It Out On You
“College. The academic fraternity owned a large house near campus. They rented rooms to members, but the house was a bit of a dump. I lived there for three years, moving to a different room each year. We shared a dumpster in the rear parking lot, where all of our trash was emptied once a week.
Two weeks into my second year, we all decide to start throwing away all the furniture and junk that had accumulated over the decades. Old TVs, chairs, magazines, and boxes and boxes of stuff. The first week, everything went fine, the dumpster was emptied with no complaint. 2nd week, we managed to get a couch inside, along with the regular trash, and the trash truck seemingly had no problem.
Week 3, and we add old lawn equipment, a pile of dried concrete bags, and an oven.
The trash was emptied on Monday, and by Friday, we had received a notice of violation, along with an increase in the monthly collection. So we did what any reasonable group of college students would do, and we filled the entire thing with as much furniture and trash as we could find.
Monday morning comes and goes, and the trash isn’t collected. Neither is it the next week or the next. In the meantime, we receive another letter, another increase, and a threat to not empty because of some sort of violation.
So we eventually get them to empty it midweek of week 4 (it smelled like the end of the world), and we’re told that we’ll start paying a much higher rate on January 1 because of our insolence.
That Sunday, we decide we’ve been wronged beyond repair. Several of us begin patching and plugging holes around the dumpster, and we begin running water into the interior. It took a few hours, but we finally filled it nearly to the edge of the sliding doors. We floated some paper-filled trash bags to cover any remaining surface (there was some trash already in the container), slid the doors closed and waited until 6 am.
We were first on the route, and the same driver had picked up the trash for years. This whole story goes back a lot further, but there was a lot of history between him and our membership (none of it positive). He complained about nearly everything, and it’s partially what precipitated our house purge.
Anyhow, he pulls up, locks the forks in, and precedes to rev the engine and lift the dumpster.
Obviously, it’s super heavy, so he idles up harder and the dumpster slowly rises off the ground. It gets higher, he has to rev harder, and he opens the door to look up and wonder what is going on.
At that point, the water starts to pour out, and then dump out and then shower him and his truck with trash juice. I can still remember the sound of his swearing from 40yds away.
A week later, we received a notice of cancellation, and there was a bit more to the story, but that really was the pettiest revenge for basically two different groups of jerks fighting with one another.”
3. Teacher Gets Back At Annoying Student
“Our bonus project in physics was making an egg mobile; a vehicle designed to move an egg using only the power of an elastic band. The mark you got for this project would replace the lowest test score you got on the unit tests during the year. Two of my friends worked together on one; one friend was an average student, while the other friend was fairly smart but pushy and argumentative; a real steve jobs type.
They constructed their egg mobile out of lego, and it did work, however, the physics teacher was a little tired of friend number 2 at this point of the year. The mark he gave was enough to give student 1 a nice boost, however, it was 1 point lower than student 2’s lowest test score.”
Another User Comments:
“We had the same project in school with the aim being to get the egg as far as possible but our teacher failed to mention that the egg needed to survive the journey.
After several kids making spectacular cars from Technics and Lego etc I rocked up with my Trebuch-egg and smashed all previous records.” EasyJeezy
Another User Comments:
“Similar egg-type thing in my school, except we had to drop them from a set height and the egg had to survive. Long story short my partner and I made a contraption out of coat hangers and elastic bands that not only survived the initial drop without issue, but we went a second time and threw it a further number of feet up into the air and had it survive that as well (same egg both times).
The teacher ended up failing us both for some reason. I don’t remember (maybe because it wasn’t fully enclosed or something?), even though we followed the rules to a T and were the only ones to make two successful drops.
Later that year we had the same challenge, except we had to mail the eggs through the post office and have them survive. I used the exact same design except for this time in a box, and once again mine survived, but I still managed to fail for some reason or another. I never really liked that teacher.” flash_me_yr_drives
2. A Battle Between A Prof And Two Fearless Students
“Spring of 2003 I was taking Art History to clear an elective. I sat next to a guy who was pretty close to one of my roommates. We had partied together quite a few times. He was a bit all over the place at times, but I liked him, so I was looking forward to the semester.
Looking back, though, he and this professor were going to clash, it was just inevitable.
My friend, we’ll call him Kid, was a high-strung troublemaker who was one of the early hipster/bro hybrids of the 2000s. He wore polo shirts with thin-framed non-hipster glasses, was super stoked about the upcoming technologies and all Apple products, knew the ins and outs of every movie ever, and diamonds for some reason were his thing.
Most enjoyably, he loved talking about hookups that never happened, and was generally determined to make his life sound, nay, be bigger than it was yesterday…every day. He was like a young Barney Stinson on…uh…a LOT of caffeine. You might think that sounds like a criticism, and it is to the extent that he was my friend and definitely needed to calm down.
But it was also kind of awesome. I thoroughly enjoyed the kid. He was a troublemaker himself, but he tolerated zero nonsense, and the spontaneous bull-by-the-horns way he dealt with it was priceless entertainment. He was kind of loud and didn’t mind the attention, which was great because I hated attention and could hide in this skinny kid’s metaphorical shadow.
He was pretty smart, too, and the random factoids he spat out filled in the occasional silence before the lecture. Swear to god he was one of the most enjoyable people I’ve ever hung out with.
The Prof, on the other hand, we’ll call him Skippy, was the complete opposite of Kid. He was trying very hard to be the low-key, artsy-fartsy, true hipster.
He had a curly fro, thick-rimmed narrow-style glasses, sweaters, and whereas Kid was 20 going on 12, Skippy was trying very hard to be 30 going on 2,000. I think he was probably pretty genuine, but because of this very manufactured way in which he presented himself, he was like a beacon of nonsense, he was like The Great Lighthouse of Carthage of nonsense.
And you could see it all over Kid’s face every day. Kid just had this agitated, surprised, silent storm of ‘screw this guy’ building inside him.
Before I sprint through the incidents, plural, I have to stop and talk about myself for a second, because ultimately I’m the one who got screwed. I’m an idiot, or at least I was.
Not the kind of idiot you might think while reading this, although I might be that kind of idiot as well. I was a brooding, self-absorbed, kind of deluded, lost…idiot. This, in part, is probably why I loved hanging out with Kid. Kid was crazy, but Kid was fun. Kid smiled nonstop. I…did not. Unless I was hanging out with people like Kid, and even then it was 50/50, or maybe 1/99.
So how did The Prof and I get along? You’d think that after 20 some years of trying to lay low and not be seen, I would have figured out how by college. Not the case. I have a somewhat remarkable face, and instead of keeping my nose to my notes and wearing a poker face, I would roll my eyes and shake my head at things that annoyed me.
Someone wore too much cologne? I shook my head and looked aggravated for the whole class, every time I got an overwhelming whiff. Someone asked a stupid question? Same. Somehow, probably because he was an insecure tool (not saying I wasn’t a tool), Skippy sensed my head shaking like a bat senses a gnat flitting in the breeze from three miles away.
He just honed in on it every time, and he didn’t even have to be facing toward the class to catch it. And like an idiot, I made eye contact without changing my expression, even though it had nothing to do with Skippy. I’m pretty sure Skippy thought it was all about him.
Now for the incidents, as quick and dirty as I can do this.
So one day Skippy announced to the class that a weekend retreat to Chicago (museums) was not going to count toward our grade; so basically the deal was off. The whole class moaned and complained at once, because a lot of people had set aside time, taken off work, shelled out some cash, and it sucked.
Kid? Kid said, loud enough to be heard clearly over the groaning and complaining of about 300 people…
‘JERK!!!’
Remember when I said I was an idiot? Just as Skippy’s insecure bat senses honed in on the sound of someone calling him a jerk after finally earning a title in life and some respect, I covered my mouth as if I happened to be the jerk who just called him a jerk.
Why? I don’t know, I guess because sometimes people do that when they’re laughing so hard their whole body shakes. Skippy glared, I looked at Kid, Kid just sat there in a state of outrage and disgust. Skippy looked at me, Skippy looked at Kid, and Skippy made the decision right then and there. I could see it in his dull, boring brown eyes.
Skippy was gonna fail us, Skippy was gonna fail us good and hard. Art History for goodness sake… Art History… I was going to fail Art History. I LOVE history, and honestly, the class was very informative and provided a lot of additional context to my favorite topic, ancient history.
I warned Kid, but Kid was blissfully naive, which is another thing I loved about Kid.
Time goes by, Kid and I ace our exams. But there’s a problem… Our art project. Our art project counted for like 20% of our overall grade. Not so much the art itself, but our demonstration of Art History knowledge.
Long story somewhat shorter, Kid bounced into the pit day of the final all happy-go-lucky and put his project down while Skippy was watching.
Skippy spied Kid’s name and project with all the skill and grace of a paragliding Walrus, but he pulled it off without Kid; still smiling like an idiot, ever figuring it out. Kid got screwed.
But me? I’m a ninja. I was there like 20 minutes early, and as soon as a couple of projects accumulated, I zipped down, placed mine, then ducked out of the pit.
When I walked in later, Skippy tried to 007 me, but when I just sat down without turning anything in, he stared at me like a dog who just can’t figure out this new human word. I laughed to myself. Then I waited until the masses were lining up to turn in their exams and took the TA’s line.
Skippy tried to get the TA to show him my name, but while he was talking to her she just kept grabbing exams.
I was in the clear. Skippy, never figuring out my name because my ID photo didn’t look anything like me at the time (remarkable face, but not photogenic at all, plus I started buzzing my hair off), gave me an A and a rather flattering review of my project.
Kid got an F on his project, but at least Skippy left it at that. Not that Kid cared, Kid was primed up and ready for revenge. More on that later.
Fast forward to Fall of 2003. Kid and I are taking History of Jazz for another elective. Why? If I knew… I think Kid was into it because Kid was into everything.
I was just coasting. So we’re walking there one day, and Skippy shows up in front of us. He was about a hundred yards away, facing the other direction, and we’d all had months to forget each other, but apparently, Kid hadn’t quite forgiven Skippy for giving him an F on his project, so he did it again…
‘JERK!!!’
This time I played it cool. But here’s where the story starts to suck. Skippy didn’t care which one of us said it this time. He was angry, and he never did get his chance to screw me over. And apparently, as Kid explained to me now, Kid had actually run into Skippy at the bars.
The campus bars, mind you. Skippy was pulling the ‘cool professor’ routine on the college girls who were still in town all summer. Kid, finding this repulsive apparently (not that he needed motivation), went out onto the dance floor and ‘danced’ with Skippy to the rhythm of….’Jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk, jerk…’
So he tells me all of that as we’re taking our seats in Jazz History.
And then I see it. The Jazz prof looks out the door, sees someone trying to get his attention, and excuses himself from the class. I tell Kid it’s probably Skippy, Kid brushes it off, ‘Nah come on.’ Jazz prof walks in about three minutes later, looks me dead in the eyes as if he’s weighing something, sees that angry at the world look on my face that I was telling you about earlier (idiot), gives me a cold condemning look, and I just knew…
I got an F in Jazz History. Skippy finally got me back. I don’t know why, but I didn’t even fight it. I guess to save Kid from potential harassment allegations? Maybe also because part of me felt guilty for being part of making the prof feel disrespected. Anyway, Kid and I were both transferring. Kid was headed to a bigger university and I was headed to a state school closer to home for my final two semesters. I took a semester off, took my transfer, and took my F right up the butt.”
1. Break Bro Code? I'll Dump Your Basketballs In The Lake
“My last year of high school my ex had become one of my best friends even though I still kinda had feelings for her. Meanwhile, my other best friend was someone I’d been friends with since 7th grade. My ex was the first girl I ever loved and my best friend knew exactly how I felt about her.
Long story short, he ended up hooking up with her for about a month or 2 behind my back until I caught them. I was furious at both of them but they didn’t care and started seeing each other shortly after.
This is where the revenge comes in. Another friend of mine and I broke into his house in the middle of the night and stole 2 handles of booze and all of his basketballs (he loves basketball). We then drove to a lake and kicked all of his basketballs in it. But it doesn’t stop there! About 2 weeks into their relationship I hung out with his partner and I ended up hooking up with her on her couch.”
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