People Want To Give Us The Inside Scoop On Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories

"My mother-in-law has a 'strong' overbearing personality. My husband's brother and wife have no contact with her due to how she has treated my sister-in-law in the past, and they don't allow her to see their children.

2 years ago my MIL who worked as a janitor in a school, tore her rotator cuff. She subsequently had surgery on it and then proceeded to sue her school district. She lost the lawsuit and was fired. Since then, she hasn't worked and has complained of a myriad of health issues with her neck, back, and shoulder.

She's had many MRIs, none of which support evidence of an injury that would impact her ability to work even if there are some limitations. She's lost 3 disability appeals. She has also turned down jobs including work things like a receptionist for a variety of reasons such as too much time on her feet, too much sitting, etc... Nothing is 'going to work' as far as her health issues.

My husband and I purchased a single-family home at the start of 2022. We make decent money, but both of us work 2 jobs to be able to do more than just make ends meet. We have 2 kids, and we bought this home so we could have enough space for our family.

Even so, we had to convert a loft into a bedroom for our younger child.

MIL has hinted in the past 2 years she wants us to let her move in. She and I do not get along, and even the kids are not fond of her.

My stepdaughter says she speaks poorly around my and my husband's young (special needs) son. Recently my mother passed and MIL was annoyed because it meant we couldn't clean her apartment for her.

I'm afraid she's going to be out of money soon and she's going to force her way into our house.

My husband doesn't want her here either, but might buckle if she ends up on the street. Once in, I don't think we could get her to leave, especially since she refuses to work. Aside from not wanting a toxic person in our house, it would put a strain on our finances. We simply cannot afford (or have the room) for her. AITJ?"

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. Have the conversation with your husband now. Explain to him that you're afraid that his mother will eventually run out of money and that there will be pressure placed on you to either allow her to move in or for you and your husband to provide for her financially.

Tell him now that you love his Mom but absolutely can't live with her. And you are working two jobs to support your life together with him and the kids, not his mother who has refused to work for years. Tell him that if/when the time comes, you'll try to help find other options for MIL, but there's no place in your home for you and her both.

Having this conversation politely now should help get ahead of any potential issues when the situation is 'an emergency'. And when your husband comes to you in six months or a year and says, 'Mom's in dire straights,' you can say, 'We had this discussion months ago.

Being evicted is a natural outcome of MIL not working. But we have our own kids and household to take care of. I will help MIL look for work, but she can't move in.'" teresajs

Another User Comments:

"NTJ. Make it clear that this is a '2 yes, 1 no' type situation, and as far as MIL, it will always be a NO. Then let your husband know that because of her actions, you don't ever want her to even spend the night in your house, and that if she keeps up bad-talking you around the kids, you and the kids will go full no contact like his brother has.

But make it very clear, that if she takes actions that make her homeless and on the street, that is where she stays, and your home is not an option." PenBoom