People Are Interested In Getting Opinions On Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
34. AITJ For Uninviting My Fiance's Brother's Mean Significant Other From My Wedding?
“So it’s only 2 weeks before the wedding and my fiancé’s brother’s (let’s call him John, M21) new significant other (let’s call her Betty, F18) caused a lot of drama at the bridal shower this past weekend.
This has been an ongoing problem since they started going out. They got a promise ring shortly after being together which I have no problem with at all, but at the bridal shower she used it to brag a lot and kept making comments such as calling my fiancé’s mom her mother-in-law and she said to me I’d soon be part of the family as though she is already married to John.
She also spread a rumor about one of the nicest ladies at the bridal shower (my neighbor) saying she had flirted with Betty’s father (not FIL, her real father), which was merely impossible as she is married and is one of the most kind-hearted people I know and has never met Betty (we asked the neighbor if she was indeed at the pub where Betty works at the previous night where Betty claimed it happened and the neighbor said no she was at home).
A lot more went down and after Betty was extremely rude to my maid of honor that I had to go up to her and ask her to stop being rude to my guests and to please stop gossiping. Shortly thereafter a lady at their table came up to me and asked to sit with me as she couldn’t stand the bad-mouthing by Betty at the table.
My maid of honor then took it upon herself to uninvite Betty as she caused a lot of problems and generally just took away from one of the special moments in my life, after she sent her a message Betty simply ignored it.
My maid of honor then told me about this and I decided that she was right as it is her duty to make the wedding run smoothly and as this has happened so many times before.
My fiancé’s father thinks I’m tearing the family apart for uninviting her, even after I said that John was still to come as a groomsman and as my fiancé’s brother.
My fiancé’s dad and brother have decided that if Betty is not invited they would not attend either.
(I left out a lot of her actions as I did not want to elaborate on everything)
I’m honestly stuck as to what to do, my fiancé feels that if his family chooses John’s new SO over his wedding then they don’t care about him enough, it hurts to be in this situation.
We want our wedding to run smoothly and drama free and Betty might not make this possible, so AITJ for uninviting Betty?
Edit: some side notes
My family is paying for the entire wedding.
It is also my birthday two days after the wedding so it’s also a birthday celebration for me as I’m turning 21.
Betty is going overseas for a year without John and for this reason, she wasn’t invited to the wedding but then she invited herself after she failed to hand in her paperwork on time.
John has always appeared to be the golden child.
John and FIL often show jealousy towards my fiancé as he is the younger brother, but he is more successful than both of them.
My fiance and I discussed it before making the decision together to uninvite her, he agreed to not have her at the wedding even at the cost of his brother not coming.”
33. AITJ For Snapping At People Who Touch My Guide Dog?
“I (33m) lost my sight almost 6 years ago due to medical negligence, in addition, I also have a delicate medical device VPShunt.
I live in London and it has taken some time for me to adjust somewhat, and get to the level of independence I am at currently. At first the shock and fear got to me, I couldn’t go outside, I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone.
The fear and anxiety wouldn’t go away, the cane is not my favorite method of getting around as you physically have to hit obstacles with it to know it’s there, living in London that’s mostly people.
Fortunately, I was able to get a guide dog, life improved in so many ways.
People were no longer walking into me whilst walking with their heads in their phones, and I was no longer alone. My guide dog is my world because without her I would not have one.
Now going outside still is not easy for me, try getting over the anxiety of crossing roads, and if you truly believe people are watching out for you that carefully you’re wrong.
Anyway…sadly three days before Christmas a very close friend died, their funeral is this week and with everyone busy, I decided to go out on my own, but not on my own, as I’m with my guide dog, to the local shop.
I get there and everything starts out OK, I am able to find the till with my guide dog to get assistance. As I am talking to the assistant I get yanked. Through experience, I know someone has snuck up behind me to physically stop my dog from doing her job to give her a stroke.
Being pulled suddenly by the strength of a dog when blind from behind is NOT easy to deal with.
Instantly I’m mad, I know the dogs are so well trained that they only make mistakes because people don’t respect the job they do and don’t realize the potential danger they put us in.
I raise my voice and tell whoever the person is to get away, suddenly another man comes out of nowhere:
Stupid Jerk (SJ): calm down mate.
Me: do not tell me to calm down!
SJ: I am not sure if she understands.
Me: Great, then get her away!
SJ: But she’s disabled.
Me: IM DISABLED!
SJ: Well play that card if you want to mate (then stopping off).
Me: What card? This is my life!
People think it’s easy. Truth is guide dogs are just that, guides.
The training is great but see, they know there are things they can’t do when working, but when others come in and stroke her, they are teaching her it’s ok to do things that put my life in danger. She already is starting to walk me into people on the street, if it gets worse she could guide me into a road to get to someone she hopes will stroke her, or she will have to get taken away for retraining, meaning I could lose her (who means more to me than most anyone) for months, whilst I am trapped inside my human prison again, not being able to go outside, because people can’t stop themselves from touching a working bloody dog.
My suggestion is all those who love to bother working dogs and their owners should try getting their own, or go stroke a police dog.
Anyway. AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Not Being Comfortable Sharing Personal Stuff With My Dad's Wife?
“My (28F) dad is married to one of my high school classmates.
Let’s call her Andi. It’s not as weird as it could be. We were part of the same friend group in school but not all that close. I didn’t see her much after graduation because we went to college in different states.
I’m not 100% sure how the relationship with my dad started since they live in that other state and I don’t, but they’re both adults, both actually seem really happy, and I generally try to mind my own business when it comes to my relatives’ love lives so we’ve all got on pretty well.
I think our relationship is usually as good as anyone is ever going to have with a same-age step-parent.
But they’re visiting here for a month, and I mentioned to Andi that I was going to be meeting up with two other friends from high school who I’m still close with.
She got really excited and assumed she was being invited to join us. But when the three of us get together, things tend to get a bit raunchy. We drink a lot, talk about our personal lives a lot, and get pretty graphic about the people we’re seeing and the stuff we do with them.
It’s not the most mature, I know, but it’s a fun throwback to high school/college, and we enjoy it.
So I said that all things considered, it might be best if she didn’t come and explained why. I don’t want her to feel like she can’t participate in the conversation, but I also REALLY don’t want to hear this kind of stuff where the guy involved is my own father and I also don’t want my father’s wife knowing all about my own personal life.
She got very quiet and then suggested that maybe we wouldn’t have to talk about something too personal, but that’s pretty much how the conversations always go when these other friends and booze are involved, and not talking about it would feel like there was just an elephant in the room.
I ended up offering to arrange a lunch with the other girls at some point during the visit and she agreed, but since then Andi has been a lot slower to respond to my texts and seems less eager to hang out.
She also didn’t like my posts about the girl’s night, and we always like each other’s posts.
I feel like I could have handled this better, but I also feel like I’m not wrong for acknowledging that her role in my life is different than it used to be and that means new boundaries.
AITJ?”
31. AITJ For Causing My Neighbor's Tenants To Leave?
“My kids and I moved house in March. On day 2 in my new house, I tripped on a broken paver. Nothing was broken, but still needed surgery and a three-day hospital stay, with a full leg brace for two weeks after that.
When I got home, my ex-partner-now-reconciled-it’s-complicated (Martin), dad, sister, bestie, and her wife had formed an emergency team. Between them, they’d kept the kids and pets safe and fed and finished the unpacking. Martin and Dad removed the broken paver and laid old fence posts along the fence where next door’s dog was digging through.
Week 1, I hobbled to the letterbox and met next door’s landlord (NDL). She immediately told me to bring my bins in by 9 am, because it made the street look messy. She demanded I move the posts because the grass would grow through to her side.
I explained the reason for the posts and said that once the holes were filled in, let me know and I would move them. And hello to you too.
Week 1. Bin Day. 9:10 am. NDL knocked on my door. I’m still in PJs and a leg brace.
NDL complained about the bins. I said my bestie is coming by later to help me dress (I couldn’t do feet), and I’d bring the bins in later. When my bestie pulled up, she had to park out front because my bins were in the driveway.
Next, Martin got temporary approval to work from home at my place. I got home and Martin was escorting NDL off the property. NDL thought nobody was home, and tried to sneak in to move the posts. Martin said next time, he calls the police.
A few weeks ago the police arrived (Martin was at work) and said a concerned neighbor called about a man and woman having a domestic dispute, and the man was destroying the fence. NDL is out in the front, watching.
Once they’re satisfied that I’m OK and there’s no damage, I explain about last week and show them security footage. Later, I see them speaking with NDL. She isn’t happy and she goes inside.
Then the penny dropped. NDL let herself in while the tenants were at work.
So I spoke to the tenants, and I was blunt. I asked if they were OK with NDL being in the house while they were out, and said I’d seen her there at least once a week.
In a nutshell, they were not OK with that.
Later, one of the guys came around with a box of chocolates, thanked me, and said they were moving out right away.
NDL was furious. She says I am a jerk because I made her tenants leave, and she’s in trouble with the agent too.
And I am a jerk because I make the street look messy, so how will she find new tenants?
I wanted so badly to tell her to get off my lawn.
Honestly, I’m torn. I feel I am not a jerk because I was just telling the tenants she visited while they were out.
But I feel I could be the jerk since I was working nights, and the police visit took up a lot of my sleep time. I retaliated, and felt smugly satisfied when her tenants left.”
30. AITJ For Telling My Son And His Partner That I Will Not Be Supporting Their Baby Financially?
“I (35M) have a 17-year-old son. I had him very young and wasn’t all that present in his life at first, so I wasn’t much of a father for the first 2 years of his life. His mom and I then got back together, and she passed away a year ago.
He and his SO are now expecting a baby which was obviously a surprise. His SO moved in with us. They are both still in school and plan to go to college.
When they told me about the baby, my son said that since I work from home, they can still go to school and get their degrees while I take care of the baby.
I told them many times that I will not be raising their child, and that they need jobs (they can do part-time jobs with school and get two jobs over the summer to save up some funds). They are both mad about it, but we didn’t discuss it anymore.
We all went to my brother’s birthday party and the whole family was there. My son’s SO decided to announce the pregnancy there to everyone (she is 4 months pregnant). Everyone was a bit shocked but congratulated them, and then my brother joked to me ‘Gosh, grandpa at 35, you could be the baby’s dad!’
My son’s SO then said ‘Well he WILL be helping out with the baby a LOT so he will be like an honorary daddy’ and everyone laughed. My son then said, ‘Let’s make a toast to my dad who will help me out by caring for my child at the beginning, to make up for the time he missed out on the first time around (when he was a baby)’.
I told them both right there that I will not be raising or supporting this child financially and if they want to have it, they need to get jobs and grow up. They were both mad, especially his SO.
AITJ?”
29. AITJ For Not Buying My Stepsister Lunch?
“I (16f) have a stepsister, Anna (16f), of 3 years. I am not close with her. We have different interests, different hobbies, and different friend circles, work at different places. We only see each other at mealtimes at home. We barely talk.
I like this arrangement just the way it is.
For school, my mom makes my lunch, and her dad makes her lunch. A few days ago, my mom couldn’t make lunch for me, so she gave me some money to buy something at the cafeteria.
While I am waiting in line, Anna comes up and says, I kid you not ‘Hey I want XYZ. I am sitting at the ABC table, just get it to me’. She literally told, not asked. I was confused and asked what she meant.
She was like, you know, my dad told me you were buying lunch today. I told her that I’m sorry, but I wasn’t. I literally had only enough for one meal amount on me, and that would only buy me my lunch.
I told her that.
She kept insisting that I buy her lunch. I said I’ll get it to her if she gives me money. She said she didn’t have any. At this point, some other person who saw the whole commotion loudly went ‘awkward’.
She called me a jerk and left. I didn’t see her for the rest of the day.
Later that evening, she told her father, who called me downstairs and started yelling at me about how I humiliated his daughter, and how I was such a bad person for not buying something smaller for myself so I could buy something for Anna too.
Now this wasn’t possible since every meal costs the same amount. When I told him that, he yelled at me some more. After Mom returned from work he told her what I did, and she was surprised since she thought he would have made Anna her lunch.
He told her it wasn’t about the lunch but it was about the fact that I made Anna go hungry. My mom told him that she had only given me enough money for one meal, so it wasn’t possible for me to buy her something.
She told him it was his job to make sure Anna had her lunch. This turned into a full screaming match.
Stepdad and Anna are ignoring both me and Mom now. My mom says it wasn’t my mistake, but judging by the situation at home, I think it is.
Even some of Anna’s friends have given me the finger when they saw me at school. Should I have just given half of my food or something? AITJ here?”
28. AITJ For Helping My Niece Run Away From Her Homophobic Dad?
“I (F30) helped my niece (F16) run away. I live around 4 hours away from my brother, his wife, and his children (including my niece).
I have personally cut off that part of the family due to their misogyny.
When I was 13, I went to my brother asking his opinion on this cute feminist top (It was hot pink, with ‘WOMAN’ written all over it.) I wanted to get it because my friends were all getting them, however, when I asked him if I could get it, he spent 3 hours saying how men have it worse than women.
(I AM NOT SAYING THEY DON’T, THEY DO IN CERTAIN SCENARIOS, WOMEN AND MEN BOTH HAVE THEIR ISSUES) He also kept saying how embarrassing it is for him as a man to have someone in his family who is a feminist. He also ended up saying a lot of homophobic and racist things – which made me uncomfortable.
When I told my parents about this they ended up dismissing it and saying we just have different political views and my brother wouldn’t hurt a fly and that he is the sweetest. Throughout the rest of my childhood, I and my brother had no relationship, and he would make fun of me for being harassed – saying it was nothing compared to what he has been through.
My parents of course did nothing. I only know my niece and that part of the family because I do visit during Christmas and avoid my brother.
Yesterday, I got a call from my niece saying how my brother is threatening to disown her and leave her on the street because she is lesbian.
I admit – I was REALLY angry. I knew my brother was homophobic but I expected he would be a decent human being to his own children. So I helped her, I drove to my brother’s home, and while I helped her bring her clothes into my car he yelled at me, and told me I should keep my nose away from his business.
He even had the audacity to call my niece crazy, and following a ‘trend’. I ignored him while driving away with my niece in the car.
When I got home the day after, I got a lot of angry calls from my parents and my brother’s family.
I know my niece is way safer under my roof, but I feel I let my anger control me and I should’ve been more careful with the situation. AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Cutting Off A Bridesmaid After She Spilled Wine On My Wedding Dress?
“I (27F) got married a month ago. My dress was this long, lacy gown that my mom wore at her wedding. My mom passed away about 2 years ago.
Because the dress was so important to me, I had a big plan to keep it safe from any damage. I would only wear the dress at the wedding itself, and I would switch to a more casual dress for the reception.
When I was wearing the dress, I wouldn’t eat or drink anything except water, and I would stay inside at all times.
I promise I’m not usually this crazy about cleanliness, but this was my mom’s dress, and the thought of it being damaged broke my heart.
But I also knew I wanted to wear it when I got married to have a piece of her with me. She adored this dress and always dreamed I would wear it.
My bridesmaids knew very well about my particularities with the dress.
I had a room above the venue where I was getting ready. My dress was hanging in a safe place in the room.
On the day of the wedding, I went down to check on something for the wedding, leaving my bridesmaids in the room.
Here’s what happened, as they told the story to me:
They opened a bottle of Pinot Noir (my favorite) as a celebration. They poured themselves glasses and began to walk around checking out the room. One of my bridesmaids, ‘Anna,’ (27F) wanted to get a closer look at my dress.
She got really close to it, and she started touching the lace. Somehow, her hand holding the wine glass slipped, and wine spilled all over the bottom of the dress.
When I came upstairs, they told me what happened, and I started sobbing.
My maid of honor called several professional cleaners, and they said there was no way they could get the dress in before the wedding. They told us ways to save the dress until we could get it to them, so my maid of honor started doing that.
After that call, I became extremely angry. I asked ‘Anna’ what she was doing holding red wine so close to my dress when she knew how careful I was being. She dismissed it and said it wasn’t such a big deal because I was planning to wear the dress, so it could have gotten damaged that way too.
I couldn’t believe she said that. I called her thoughtless and careless and stupid. I told her that she was no longer part of the wedding and that I wanted her to leave. She left, and neither of us has reached out to the other since.
I got married in the dress I had planned to wear for the reception, and I was heartbroken not to be wearing my mom’s dress. After the wedding, my bridesmaids joked that I was a bridezilla for kicking ‘Anna’ out after she made an ‘honest mistake.’
I absolutely don’t think I’m the jerk or a bridezilla because Anna’s reaction was so horrible and insincere. But I wanted to get the story off my chest and ask some people who might be more impartial. AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Defending My Sister From My Grandma By Yelling At Her To Shut Up?
“My mother and grandma (my dad’s mom) don’t get along well. Whenever there are family gatherings, my mother never joins. My father is constantly talking to the other relatives, but he isn’t a bad father. For all these reasons, I (13) am in charge of watching out for my sister (11) and brother (7).
My sister isn’t exactly the smartest with schoolwork and never stands up for herself (She’s a great artist tho). She had gone to 4 different schools because of the bullying.
On my younger cousin’s birthday, his parents decided to celebrate it at Grandma’s house.
My mom tried stopping us, but I wanted to see my cousins, my sister wanted to be with my brother, so we didn’t listen and went anyway.
I was just having fun with my other cousins while my brother was in the kiddie ball pit and my sister was called to speak to our grandmother.
I was enjoying myself when I heard yelling and sobbing coming from the second floor. I was concerned so I went up. I sneaked into the bedroom when I saw my sister getting yelled at by Grandma.
She was screaming things like, ‘You shouldn’t be playing games,’ and ‘You should get higher grades’.
I was ready to slam the door open to take my sister away when I heard THIS: ‘Your mother will abandon you because you are a stupid witch!’
I slammed open the door and yelled, so loud, even my eardrums hurt, ‘SHUT UP!’
My grandma was stunned, my sister was stunned, and even I was stunned. No one has EVER yelled at her before, I was literally the first person to ever yell at the oldest person in the family.
My grandma didn’t say a word, so I took my sister downstairs, and EVERYBODY was just STARING at me.
It was so quiet I heard a mouse running into the kitchen (My grandma lives in the countryside).
My dad took us home, and from what I heard from my cousins, everyone left shortly after.
The family soon divided into two parts: some are on my side, who think I did the right thing, and some are against me, thinking I should apologize.
My cousins were all on my side, so I didn’t need to worry about not talking to them anymore. But a few older uncles and aunts think I should apologize, saying I ‘went too far’.
I think I did the right thing tho, but I’m not too sure.
Do you think I am the jerk?”
25. AITJ For Not Wishing My Friend A Happy Birthday After She Ghosted Me?
“I (23F) have been best friends with ‘Bella’ (23F) since 2nd grade. Now, we’re both in serious relationships and have super busy schedules. I frequently would text and ask her to hang out.
Most of the time I would get no response or a response the next day. The few times she responded quickly and we would plan something for later that day, when the time actually came she would go ghost and not answer any texts.
Flash forward to a few weeks ago, my family, my significant other and I were going on vacation. We would be gone a few days so need a dog sitter. A month before the trip Bella offered to watch her during our trip.
I was nervous about the arrangement from the beginning, so I asked her several times if she was sure and if she asked her parents if they were okay with her being there. Bella insisted that it was okay, and the plan was set.
Two days before dropping my dog off, Bella and I hung out for a while and she talked about how excited she was to watch Jade (my dog) for the weekend.
On the day of the drop-off, I texted Bella at 12 pm to ask what time I should drop Jade off.
We agreed on 8 pm. At 7:45 pm, I text her asking if she was ready. She replied pretty quickly saying that she wasn’t home yet but I could take her over. I gave her some time and text her to let her know when I was leaving my house and when I arrived at hers (8:45).
No response. Bella’s mom answered the door looking extremely surprised to see me, and even MORE surprised to see my dog with me. I tried to explain that Bella offered to watch my dog and her mom is just staring at me with a blank face.
I called Bella. No response. I text her 3 times, asking where she is and telling her that her mom has no idea why I’m here with my dog. No response. I’m fuming. She ghosted me. The night before my vacation.
No dog sitter. No. Response.
After sitting outside of the house for 30 minutes my SO calls his brother who immediately and graciously agrees to watch Jade while we’re away, so we pack the car up again, I say bye to Bella’s parents and we leave.
I text Bella again at 12 am ‘Are you okay’. She FINALLY texts me back at 1 am saying quote ‘Yes I’m fine. I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting to get home so late’. That’s it. I responded ‘What happened’ and there was no answer.
Not that day, not the next day, not the rest of the WEEK. She didn’t ask if we were able to find someone to watch our dog so we could go on our trip. She barely apologized for completely ghosting me and not following through on the commitment SHE OFFERED to make.
She just ignored me.
That was on 8/20. Her birthday was the next Friday. She had plans to go to a nightclub super late at night. I decided I wouldn’t be attending or wishing her a happy birthday. I didn’t acknowledge her at all.
She blocked me on all social media. AITJ for ignoring my best friend on her birthday?”
24. AITJ For Not Paying For My Sister's Baby's Gravestone?
“I (M27) live with my wife (F27) in a flat that we rent. We both work a lot of hours and are saving up to get a deposit on a house.
We’ve saved up quite a bit so far and are very pleased with ourselves.
I have a younger sister Esme (F24). Esme also lives with her spouse, and unfortunately recently lost a baby boy who they named Oscar. Esme went into labor very early and the baby was stillborn.
She and her husband were heartbroken and I feel awful for them.
They held a small funeral service for Oscar with close family, and my wife and I attended.
Esme’s husband reached out to me a few days ago and asked if I could do him a favor.
I asked what he needed. He explained that he and Esme got Oscar cremated and have been keeping his ashes in an urn at home, but decided they want to get a gravestone for Oscar at the local cemetery.
He explained that the gravestone prices are very high, and getting the gravestone that they want would cost around £2,500.
He asked me if I and my wife could find it in our hearts to pay for the gravestone as a gift to him, to Esme, and to Oscar. I told him I would talk to my wife about it.
I talked to my wife and we agreed that although the situation is very sad, we can’t just shell out 2.5 grand for this. Esme started sending me lots of pictures of the style of gravestone that they wanted.
I talked to Esme and her husband in person and in private.
I tried to approach this as delicately as possible because I know they were still grieving. I told them that I’m sorry but me and my wife can’t pay for the gravestone.
Esme was distraught and said that she knows we’re saving up for a house deposit, and pointed out things we’ve spent our money on recently (me buying trainers, my wife getting her hair done, etc).
I told Esme that those things don’t amount to 2.5k, I told her I’m sorry that she’s upset but this isn’t a helpful conversation for anyone. Esme’s husband started yelling at me and told me that I’m a jerk brother and that I should be ashamed of myself.
They both stormed out and have been making passive-aggressive posts on social media that are obviously about me. I feel terrible and can’t stop thinking about the conversation, and wondering if I should apologize again.
My wife says I’m overthinking and that Esme and her husband are just acting out because of their grief and will come to their senses.
Was I the jerk?”
23. AITJ For Not Wanting To Move To A Place Outside My Sons' School District?
“I (30f) married my husband, Joe (32m), 4 years ago. I have an 8-year-old son from a previous relationship and we have another son on the way.
We live in a 3-bedroom in a school district that is hard to find housing in but it’s one of the best in the area. I love our home, I love the school, I love the neighborhood.
Here’s where our issue begins.
3 months ago, Joe received a friend request on social media from a 13-year-old boy with our last name. The resemblance was insane! It was like looking at a picture of Joe at that age. At first, we thought he could be a cousin but Joe did a little digging.
The kid’s mom was an ex of Joe’s and the age lined up perfectly. He accepted the request and almost immediately got the message we were expecting. ‘My name is (name). I’m 13 and my mom (name) says you are my dad’.
Messages and calls were sent, and a DNA test was done. The child is Joe’s.
This was fine with us. Joe was upset that he wasn’t told sooner and that he missed his son’s entire life but we started visiting and talking to him constantly.
We are now at the point where he has spent a few nights at our home. We absolutely love him and he’s a great addition to our family!
Now, Joe wants his son to have his own room. Fine by me, I just figured we would redo what was going to be the nursery into his room and the baby would share a room with us.
It seemed like the most logical thing to do. Joe doesn’t like this tho. He wants all 3 boys to have their own rooms. He started house hunting but all he found were houses out of the boys’ school district (both of our sons are in the same school until next year).
This was not ok with me. I told Joe we have plenty of time before we would absolutely need a bigger house and we could spend that time finding one so that my son, and eventually our youngest, wouldn’t have to change schools.
This sparked an argument between Joe and me because he doesn’t think it’s reasonable. I told him I was putting my foot down. I’m not moving until we can find a house in our school district.
Joe is now refusing to talk to me.
He thinks I don’t care about any of the kids while I think I’m thinking about all 3 of them!
AITJ?”
22. AITJ For Reporting A Rude Cashier To Management And Getting Her Fired Before Christmas?
“Last year I went to a Dollar General to pick up bubble wrap for a package I had to send out. I could not get it before because I work at a medical office and we open earlier than this store.
Their store hours that are posted on the website were 9-6. The time was 5:15. I went to the door and it was closed. The associate started yelling at me ‘WE ARE CLOSED’. Given the situation I was confused. I asked for confirmation of the store hours.
She said they were closing early at 5:30. According to my watch it was 5:16. I said this. She didn’t like this. She yelled at me telling me that they were closed. I argued that she was still open till 5:30, that it was only 5:16, and that I need bubble wrap.
(there were 4 others in the store). She throws open the door almost hitting me. ‘Hurry, like now, you have 5 minutes.’ I looked at her in astonishment. ‘Excuse me?’ She said ‘4 minutes.’ I decided to pick up my bubble wrap and make it back to the register.
I got back to the register and started to check out, she looked at me and said ‘I am sorry for my actions but you deserve this. People like you deserve this, we are closed and you expected to come into the store.’ I replied ‘According to you, you are open till 5:30 and it is now 5:17.
You are still open according to the information you have given me, and your conduct is beyond unprofessional. I would like to have your manager’s number.’ She stands there, crosses her arms, and says ‘It’s over there behind the register.’ I responded (losing my cool here just a bit) ‘Get it for me.’ The other cashier got the number for me.
The awful one said ‘Please call my manager, I dare you’. At that point, I was a bit upset and said ‘I make a superlative enemy, I will have your job, in all the years of customer service I would never treat a customer this way.’ She presented a very childish hand modeling her name tag.
‘Here is my name don’t forget it.’
I didn’t after a week of continued dialogue with the district managers (I called once, the store manager called me and then the district manager for a total of one call for myself and three from Dollar General’s side) and reviewing the tapes.
This woman was fired 2 weeks before Christmas. I don’t regret it I would do it again because of how rude she was. I don’t like the fact that I did but I believe in consequences for your actions. I am curious how others see this though.”
21. AITJ For Asking My Aunt And Uncle To Pay Me For Babysitting Their Kids?
“So I (18F) routinely babysit for my aunt and uncle as they both work a lot. I currently babysit their children: (1M and 1F) and (8M) five days a week from 8 am till 8 pm. The older cousin is in school for most of those hours so he’s not so much trouble.
I just need to pick him up and ensure he has dinner and does his homework, etc but it’s the twins that I’m primarily taking care of.
I recently told my aunt and uncle that this is severely cutting into my ability to look for a job and start making my own money and that I could only continue if they paid me and threw out a ballpark figure of £80 a week which is far less than I’d make in a full-time job and much cheaper than paying a stranger to take care of the kids.
We’re family after all. I didn’t want to overcharge. They also make good money so this would in no way hurt them.
It seems however this was a mistake as my aunt blew up about how entitled I am and how you don’t charge family to babysit and began to rattle off how I have free access to their wifi and their food, etc. I pointed out that taking care of two one-year-olds, I have basically no time to go on the wifi and that I can’t eat their food and have to bring my own as I’m vegan and 90% of their stuff isn’t compatible with that which led to a huge argument.
I was eventually told to get out.
My aunt has now taken to social media to rant about how spoiled and entitled I am and how she’s not going to pay someone for the easy job of taking care of two babies who are basically no work which is hilarious as I can assure you two 1-year-olds is not easy.
My parents are now up in arms over this defending me, and my mum is not talking to her sister. I just feel awful for causing this family drama, should I have just continued to do it for free?”
20. AITJ For How I Reacted To My Stepmom's Joke?
“I’m 14 and I live with my dad and stepmom. My mom passed when I was 5, and my dad and stepmom got together when I was 9, and they got me to move in with my nan.
2 years ago my nan had a stroke, and she had to go to a nursing home so I moved in with my dad and stepmom.
Ever since my dad and stepmom got together I couldn’t spend time with just my dad, my stepmom had to come too.
I always got the vibe she didn’t really like me so I had no idea why she always wanted to hang out with me. It made hanging out with my dad really awkward.
When I moved back in with them it got worse cos every time we were having a conversation she’d come in like ‘What are we talking about?’ and just join in the conversation even if it had nothing to do with her.
If she could she would stand or sit in between us too.
I mentioned it to my dad a couple of times and he said he never noticed and he doesn’t think it’s true that it’s every time, he was like ‘It’s her house too, she can hang out with us if she wants.’ I don’t think it was getting through to him that it was ‘every time’ and it was weirding me out.
So the next time she did it I was like ‘Hey why do you always come in and join every conversation I have with my dad and stand between us?’ and she laughed and said ‘Oh I’m just a bit of a jealous person’ and when I asked what she meant she was like ‘I get jealous when my husband spends time with other girls.’
I told her that was really weird and I’m not another girl, I’m his daughter. My dad and stepmom keep insisting it was a joke but it really creeped me out and I can’t help but take it seriously. I asked her to stop butting into our conversations and she was like ‘Oh so I need your permission to talk to my own husband in my own home?’ which is definitely not what I was saying at all.
Now my stepmom is acting all hurt and upset and my dad wants me to apologize for hurting her feelings. He says I deliberately overreacted to her joke just because I don’t like her and I was taking any excuse to be mean to her and exclude her.
But I really feel like it was a weird joke to make even if she didn’t 100% mean it like that, and I think I have the right to be weirded out by it, plus I think I have the right to ask to spend some time just with my dad and it doesn’t mean I’m trying to exclude her.”
19. AITJ For Reporting My Experience With A Nurse, Causing Her To Get Fired?
“I (23F) have a port placed in my chest for IV medication and blood draw access.
If my port isn’t being used at least once a month, I have to get it flushed monthly.
I’ve been going to my local infusion clinic at my hospital for flushing. The last two times I’ve had the same nurse.
The last time she didn’t feel for my port and just went to sticking based on the scar. She put the needle in the wrong spot and it was pressed up against the bottom sidewall of my port and the pain was excruciating.
I was crying and yelling for her to stop and she just kept trying to dig around and pull and push saline to get a blood return. She didn’t stop until my partner (26M) stepped in a told her to stop.
She told me my port was occluded and to see my doctor.
It was fairly new so I called my doc immediately and he got me in and it flushed and returned just fine. The images were good too.
I go back last week and she’s the one doing it again.
This time I moved around my port and showed her where it was. She acted shocked and told me it was weird that it was above my scar instead of below and told me in her 20 years she has never seen that.
I have had my port accessed many times by now and know the sterile procedure pretty well by now.
She seemed really spaced out and all over the place that day. I asked her if she was okay and she called it the ‘case of the Mondays’.
She continued to get things ready and didn’t wash her hands before putting on gloves, then used her normal gloves to open all the sterile stuff, didn’t put on the sterile mask ‘because she already had one’, and didn’t put on the sterile gloves.
She ran around opening drawers for flushes and putting things in the trash can before going straight into flushing my port. She did put the drape down over my shirt.
In the end, she gave me the sterile gloves and mask ‘so they didn’t go to waste.’
I was really upset. I had to stop my partner from causing a scene because he saw it all and was pretty upset himself. I am a slight infection risk, but what about every cancer patient that comes into that clinic for chemotherapy?
Who she also probably accesses?
I immediately went home and reported my experience. And then called my doctor and explained in a message. I got a call today that they investigated and let her go.
I’m now feeling guilty because nurses are so overworked right now and we live in a fairly small town.
My mom (who is a former nurse) said we overreacted and should have just asked to not get her next time.
AITJ?”
18. AITJ For Cutting My Hair Before My Cousin's Wedding?
“I’m not going to lie, my cousin Mallory and I didn’t have a good relationship growing up. I had leukemia as a kid, and she always resented me for getting all the attention from our relatives for it.
I tried to maintain a good relationship in our teens and in adulthood, but she was not interested in reciprocating. It hurt and I still feel guilty that I had a hand in ruining her childhood, but there’s nothing I can do to fix it.
Whatever I do is never good enough for her. So I guess I just gave up.
Mallory is getting married in June. She told me straight up not to expect me to be a bridesmaid since she doesn’t want me in the limelight.
I understand. It sucks, especially since our sisters and cousins all have roles, but I get where she is coming from. I’m still welcome to attend the wedding though. So there’s that.
Onto today’s problem. I do cosplay as a hobby, primarily for a certain series about a wizard school.
There’s a new movie coming out, and my friends and I want to cosplay as the characters when we go see it. I normally cosplay as this one character, and in the new movie, she has platinum blonde hair. I didn’t see the point in spending a lot on a wig I’d never wear again so I thought I’d bleach my hair.
Plus I hate wearing wigs in general and try to avoid them when I can. Bad idea. Terrible, stupid idea. The dye fried my hair and now I’m back to having a really short pixie crop.
Mallory saw the pics of my new haircut and blew up my voicemail.
She swore at me and cursed at me for doing that to my hair. Basically, ‘How dare (I) do that before her wedding. (I) just couldn’t resist the idea of upstaging her and getting all the attention on (me).’ First off, it was a mistake on my part and I wholly, truthfully regret it.
And also, I didn’t want to cut my hair off in the first place. It was the last resort after all attempts to save it failed. Not to mention, I’m not in the wedding party. I’m just the cousin who wouldn’t be in any pictures if Mallory has a say in it.
I’d just be another guest off to the side. I know my new haircut is extreme, but we’ve all seen me sans hair already.
My mum and aunts (bless her) say that Mallory is just being out of line. I don’t need to ask her permission to change my hair since I’m just a guest, not a bridesmaid or anything.
But my sisters and our cousins are on her side and say I should have asked her permission for doing what I did to my hair.
At this point, maybe I should just not go to the wedding. Mallory would probably prefer it that way.
AITJ for not asking Mallory, the bride’s, permission to cut my hair into a pixie crop before her wedding?”
17. AITJ For Humiliating My Stepdad In Front Of His Family?
“For the past few months, I (17m) haven’t had a good relationship with my mom or stepdad.
I’m angry at them because 2 years ago when my dad passed away he left me an inheritance that I’m supposed to get on my 18th bday. I’m also getting survivor’s benefits that my mom uses for me when I need things so it’s not like she used this inheritance for me.
They bought a house that we moved into. It was weird for me because we always lived in a 3-bedroom apartment. My stepdad is a substitute teacher and my mom’s a part-time receptionist. They never even had enough to go for a vacation or something but all of a sudden they had something for a large house out of nowhere.
My mom looked guilty about it until she finally admitted they used some of what my dad left me to buy the house. I lost my mind.
They tried to justify that it was for me too and I asked them does that mean they were moving out when I’m 18 and the house is going in my name.
And they’re like no. That’s what I thought. Supposedly the house was for me but the max time I would’ve lived there was a few months.
There’s still some money left if I went to a cheap college but still can’t believe they used my money for something on themselves.
That amount could’ve helped me get my own house. Also, I think it’s funny that my stepdad didn’t like my dad because I was spending more time with him, which meant my mom had to pay a little in child support.
But he doesn’t care about using the money he left for me.
Last Saturday his family all came to stay at the house. They stayed Friday night so it was the next morning when I’m getting ready to go to work when I made myself eggs in a hurry.
Before I left my stepdad asked how come there wasn’t more for his family. And told him it was because I’m already leaving for work and there wasn’t gonna be time to make something for everyone. He acted like it’s not a big deal if I’m a little late since it’s rare they have people over at the house.
We go back in forth because I’m not going to stop to make breakfast when he can do it himself. Then he pulled that ‘Don’t talk to me like that in my house’ nonsense. By the way, there’s no door in the kitchen and that leads right to the living room so they could hear all this.
I said loudly actually it’s MY house since you paid for it with my money and don’t forget they stole from me.
My mom is expecting me to apologize for embarrassing him in front of his whole family because after I left they all had something to say about it.
They already went home by the time I got home but you could feel the tension. He straight up ignored me that’s how bad it was. I don’t feel like there’s anything for me to apologize for so that’s where she thinks I’m not being a good son and kind of a jerk.
I wanna know if others feel the same.”
16. AITJ For Being Mad At My Siblings For Pushing Our Dad Aside?
“We (me (25f), my sister (27f), and brother (28m)) were raised together and until 2019 we believed we were a nuclear biological family. Then we found out our dad wasn’t our bio dad, which even he didn’t know, it then turned out my older siblings shared a bio dad but I had a different one.
We were also first cousins because their bio and my bio were brothers.
Dad left our mom, hurt, betrayed, and overall disgusted that she had lied to him for two decades. I was equally mad that she lied and hurt my dad.
My siblings were less willing to cut her off but their relationship strained majorly.
Dad moved in with me and my then-partner, now fiance, and the global crisis hit. At this point, all three of us agreed he was Dad no matter what.
And there was nothing that could change that.
I meant it; they didn’t.
They found their bio father and mine by extension, and have decided that he is now our ‘real dad’ and that our dad is just a stepdad.
My brother has even corrected his two little girls who called dad grandpa, into saying he’s step-grandpa and that’s what they call him, while bio gets called grandpa.
It broke my dad’s heart and he decided it was too much for him to accept.
This is after talks between them where he was essentially told to know his place, stay in his lane, and demoted with the clear message being nothing would change. I am so mad at them. They have tried to push me to meet my ‘real dad’ and have told me it’s okay to go back on what we said.
Initially, they were invited to my wedding but with this whole mess I told them they were no longer welcome and I did not want them to show up. They told me that just because they have a relationship with their ‘real dad’ doesn’t change things between us.
I told them it does. That if dad isn’t our real dad after EVERYTHING he has done for us then we’re not ‘real siblings’, because technically we are HALF siblings and cousins. That my dad is still my dad 100% and biology is meaningless to me.
And so it was best for them not to come because I no longer want them there.
What I said hurt them. My SIL (married to my brother) told me I was a jerk for throwing half in their faces and cutting them from my wedding like we haven’t been siblings our whole lives.
I think that’s almost more annoying to me because that’s our dad. But he can be discarded like he’s nothing.
AITJ?”
15. AITJ For Telling My Mom's Husband That I Will Never Let Him Legally Become My Father?
“My dad died when I was 7 years old. My mom remarried when I was 9.
I’m now 16. My mom’s husband, which is what I call him because I do not feel he deserves the title of stepdad or dad, came into the relationship with some clear jealousy. He told my mom to take down all the photos of my dad in our house, bringing up that it felt like dad’s house vs his, even though mom and I had moved prior to their marriage and after my dad died. So it was never my dad’s house.
He then made a big deal out of me having so many photos of my family and my parents in my room. I told him I liked looking at them and I liked having the memories near. He said I could put photos of my dad away, so he wasn’t intruding on our family.
I told him I didn’t like him (I was 9) and he wasn’t going to take my dad from me.
He kicked my grandparents AKA Dad’s parents out of our house when I was 10 because they brought me some childhood photos of Dad.
He went crazy saying he didn’t want photos of ‘that man’ in his house. I never did forgive him for that.
He told me to stop bringing up my dad. One time, Mom and I were talking about Dad on his birthday and he said it was disrespectful and he didn’t want to feel like he was competing with a ghost. My mom ended the conversation and she apologized to him.
But I was mad at him more than anything. He was such a jerk to friends of our family who knew my dad. Any time someone commented that I was getting more like him he would scowl at them and tell them to move the conversation along because ‘talking about a dead man’ was uncomfortable for most people.
He used the line once that he was the only dad I ever had and I told him that was not true and he was never going to be worthy of being my dad.
My mom’s birthday was Saturday and her husband threw her a party.
Midway through he gives me a ‘gift’. Inside was a photo of himself that he wanted me to put in my room and adoption papers. I tossed the adoption papers in the trash. He saw what I did which led him to make a comment about not being able to toss away the truth.
I got mad so fast. I told him to get over himself. That his jealousy and insecurity were not my problem, that I would never let him legally become my father, that I didn’t even want him married to my mom, and that he was a disgusting jerk.
Everyone heard what I said.
He’s still furious. My mom was upset by his anger. Almost everyone left after I yelled.
AITJ?”
14. AITJ For Saying That Being A Stay-At-Home Parent Is Not Hard?
“My (48) wife (48) and I married when we were 22 and have 5 kids (M and F 25, F22, M19). The 5th (F3) one was a surprise.
Our other children are adults. For the majority of their lives, I was the stay-at-home parent, I cooked, cleaned, attended games, etc. From the moment they came home from the hospital, all up until their mid-teens when I deemed them old enough to stay home by themselves.
As usual, I quit my job and had been watching her at home, but 8 months ago my wife comes to me and says she’d like to quit her job and watch our daughter. I was skeptical because she had never done it before, but she’s her mother, and assumed she can handle it as I did.
Well, she hasn’t been handling it well at all.
Whenever I come home from work, the bathroom is a mess, there’s no dinner cooked, our daughter is a mess, and my wife is just watching TV. After I tidy up the house, cook dinner, (which I don’t mind, I’ve been doing it for 25+ years), and get ready for bed she complains about how being a stay-at-home mom is hard.
Personally, I think she’s lazy. And I voiced my thoughts.
She tried to tell me it was different but I told her it was not. I was able to watch the twins with little to no difficulty, and all the way up until they were 14.
I watched our 3rd and 4th children with no hassle either. I had the house cleaned, the food ready, the kids cleaned, homework done, went to their games, school meetings, etc. I never asked for help and sucked it up because I was a dad.
For her to have so much trouble watching a 3-year-old is ridiculous.
She’s been silent with me since that conversation, but when I came home from work the house was actually clean, food was cooked, and our daughter was clean as well.
I’m starting to feel like a jerk because maybe it’s different for women, but how can raising children be so difficult and different for us?
Note: each time after giving birth she did not immediately return to work.
She did stay at home for about 1 year so she could recuperate (she asked this time be for her since childbirth was a lot for her). I, along with hired help, watched the children and took care of the house.
We come from a very wealthy family, so returning to work has never been troublesome for me.
EDIT: I do love my wife. But she has not been able to take care of the house or our daughter. Being a stay-at-home parent means taking care of the house and children, and she does neither.
My wife claims she’s not depressed, but I can’t allow for this to continue. I’ll have to discuss with her if she would like to return to work, or if she wants for both of us to be stay-at-home parents (we have the funds to retire early).
I feel as if she may reject this, and if she does I will put my foot down and hire help for her. She needs it more than she is willing to admit. Calling her out the way I did may have been harsh and I will apologize for that, but it did seem to have an effect since she did take care of the house and our daughter.”
13. AITJ For Telling My Friend To Take A Shower And Put On Some Fresh Clothes?
“I have a buddy visiting from out of state. He was staying with me, crashing on an air mattress in my living room. We went hiking today, like 7 miles, and had planned on going to see a movie tonight for July 4th.
When we get back to my apartment, I tell him I need to take my dog for a walk and to take a shower while I’m out walking her. He responds, ‘That’s what a normal person would do.’
For context, he’s an introvert and sometimes doesn’t get social cues. I don’t think twice about it, grab my dog, and head out for a walk. When I get back, about 30 mins later, he’s sitting on the couch, in the same sweaty, dirty hiking clothes.
I’m like bro, take a shower, rinse yourself, and put on some fresh clothes. He responds that he doesn’t like when people tell him what to do. I tell him to get off my couch, ask him how he would feel if I came in filthy to his home, and sat on his couch, especially if he offered me a shower.
I tell him if he doesn’t want to shower, at least sit on a kitchen stool so his sweat doesn’t permeate the couch’s fabric.
We get into an argument, he says he’s gonna find an Airbnb, and then I hop in the shower and leave him standing in the living room (cause we went on a 7-mile hike, and then I took my dog for a 30-min stroll and was sweaty and stenchy myself, and I wanted to get away from the argument).
When I finish and get out of the shower, he’s gone, his stuff is gone, just dipped out. I’m shocked – I call him and text him. He texts me back saying to throw out anything he left behind.
Our friendship is over because I asked him to shower, to be considerate.
AITJ?”
12. AITJ For Not Wanting To Have A Typical Father-Son Relationship With My Dad?
“My (15M) dad walked out on my mum and me when I was 2 because we were his ‘side family’. He had an affair with another woman and has a whole family with two other kids.
Because of this, my mum (who is deaf) and I struggle with finances and getting by because the fact that she’s deaf made it harder for people to want to hire her. She has been working as a waitress for about six years now and we are finally financially stable.
My dad should have been sending financial support to us but he stopped about two years after he left so I resented him for making us suffer so much. But recently he came back into our lives (or, my life.
My mum doesn’t want to see him) and gave us more cash and even offered to help pay our rent for the month.
He says he wants to apologize and make amends and that he’s sorry for everything he put us through.
I didn’t really believe him but there didn’t seem to be an ulterior motive so I just went along with it. I think he’s trying. Emphasis on ‘think’. He always tries to initiate a conversation with me and keeps telling me about all the ‘dad-son stuff we can do’ (not that we do anything).
But I kind of got mad yesterday because he kept mentioning how he’s always wanted to do son stuff with his son (his other kids are both girls) and told him that I won’t ever love him or care about him as I do my mum and that I wouldn’t see him as family.
He seemed genuinely taken aback and told me that that crosses the line. Then he left and I haven’t seen him since. I still think what I did was right but I’m starting to feel guilty because I think he may actually be trying to be a good dad this time.”
11. AITJ For Suddenly Going To My Ex-Wife's House To Check On My Daughter?
“My (38M) ex-wife Linda (36F) and I have two kids, Lily (9F) and Liam (11M).
Lily’s had Type I diabetes since she was very young, and the three of us manage it pretty well although there’s always room for improvement.
Part of that is Lily wearing a continuous glucose monitor that can send data and alerts to our phones.
Last night at around 11:30 PM, I got a notification that Lily’s sugar was below 60. As Linda would have received the same alert, I gave it about 10 minutes and checked again.
Her sugar was still falling. It was in the low 50s. I sent Linda a text asking if she’d seen the alert and taken care of Lily. I did not get a response. 10 minutes later, the app showed that her blood sugar was low enough that it just displayed ‘LOW’.
I called Linda to make sure everything was ok. I didn’t get an answer. I called and texted several times but still nothing. At 12:00 AM, there was no indication that her blood sugar was rising. I tried to Facetime Lily and called and texted Linda.
I then went into Find My iPhone and played a tone on Lily’s phone hoping someone would hear it but got nothing.
I called her mom so she could try to call Linda. I was hoping that Linda’s phone was on Do Not Disturb, and her mom could get through.
Nothing. I was getting really scared so I drove the 30 minutes over to Linda’s house calling and texting her the entire time. On the drive over, Lily’s phone died and stopped sending data, but at around 12:15 it was still ‘LOW’.
I used the keys Linda gave me to go in. Lily woke up startled but she was ok. Linda lost her mind yelling at me from her room to get out of her house and telling me that I can’t come in there like that.
I was there for about 30 seconds to a minute and on my way out tried to explain why I was worried and just got screamed at out the door.
This morning she called me and angrily said that she knows how to take care of her daughter and I can’t do that and asked for her keys back.
She didn’t care at all that I was worried about Lily’s continuous ‘LOW’ alerts or that I couldn’t reach her or Lily on their phone and said that if I had a legitimate concern I should have called 911. I suggested that she set up a few numbers in her phone that will ring through on the second attempt in case of an emergency.
She was completely against that idea because ‘She has a hard time sleeping at night’ and that if there were an actual emergency ‘There’s nothing (she) can do about it at night anyway’.
I understand that she was upset and probably terrified by being woken up in the middle of the night by someone in her home, but she seemed not to care about the extenuating circumstances or the simple solution to me not feeling like I need to drive over there or call 911.
So AITJ for going over to make sure our daughter wasn’t in a diabetic coma?”
10. AITJ For Leaving My Friend Because She's Always Late?
“My friend (25F) is constantly late for everything. Be it work-related or fun activities, she will always be at least 15-20 minutes late. She does not have a car, and so oftentimes I (25M) will pick her up from her house (I work at a university and she is a Ph.D.
student there, and her place is along the way for me).
The last time I offered her a ride to work, she ended up being 20 minutes late after I’d already arrived at her place. Because of that, I ended up being late for work.
She is always very apologetic about her lateness but never changes.
This week she was supposed to give a seminar at the university which is a crucial part of her Ph.D. program. She asked me if I could give her a ride to work that day.
I told her sure, but that I was picking her up at 8 AM and she must be there exactly at 8 AM, and not a minute later. She chuckled, but I told her I wasn’t joking, and she promised that she will be there.
The morning of her seminar, I drove to her place and got there at 7:55, and texted her that I was there, and she told me she would be out in ‘just a minute’. At 8:00, there was no indication that she would come out (and she didn’t text anything), so at 8:01, I drove off.
At around 8:20, she called me asking me where I was. I told her I was at work and that I wasn’t joking when I told her that she had to be ready right that minute. She started screaming and crying over the phone and told me that she was having a hard time that morning and couldn’t be ready right at 8 AM.
She then begged me to come back to pick her up, as her seminar is at 9 AM and she needed to be at the school before then. I could’ve done it quick enough to pick her up and drop her off without affecting my work, but I decided I didn’t want to do that, and told her that I won’t.
She was crying and hyperventilating at that point and said she’d promise to never be late for anything else again, and reemphasized that this seminar was crucial for her Ph.D. and that she absolutely cannot miss it without severe consequences.
I responded ‘Oh well,’ and hung up. I then went about my day at work normally.
I feel like I could’ve gone back and picked her up in this scenario since it wouldn’t have been detrimental to me and at the same time this was something very important for her.
On the other hand, I feel like this should be a wake-up call for her chronic lateness.”
9. AITJ For Telling My MIL To Stop Telling Me How To Parent?
“I (28f) have a 10-month-old baby boy with my husband (29m), and a daughter (4f) from a previous relationship. My husband adopted my daughter last year, so legally speaking, both kids are ours.
My mother-in-law (48f) has always been hyper-involved in our lives. When we told her I was pregnant with our son, she immediately went into grandma mode, despite having known my daughter for 2 years prior. She bought us baby clothes, stocking up on diapers, and even bought us a crib and a bassinet.
After my son was born last year, she started popping by our house unannounced (which isn’t super difficult because she’s our next-door neighbor), giving recommendations as to how and what we should feed the baby, she would ask to take him repeatedly, and reluctantly give him back when I came to pick him up.
We had multiple conversations about her overstepping, she apologized each time and said she would back off.
A few days ago, MIL showed up, unannounced, at my son’s daycare, without telling me or my husband. She asked the daycare provider what she was feeding him, how he’s been socializing, etc. I found this out through the daycare provider when I picked him up.
She asked to take him today. At 11 am, while I was working, I got 15 text messages from her, containing several long-winded questions, asking us why we were giving our son cow’s milk, why we were allowing him to have SpaghettiOs for lunch, and that we were putting him at risk for kidney failure and intestinal bleeding.
She believes that our daycare owner is ‘uneducated’. She ran a daycare for 15 years and knows the dangers of too much sodium/early exposure to milk.
To clarify, he had SpaghettiOs with squash once, and I asked his daycare to mix 2 oz of milk into his formula once a day because he is starting to dislike the taste of his formula.
I got the ok from his doctor to do that.
When I told her this, she questioned why I would give him cow’s milk, because it’s so damaging to his body. She insinuated that we can’t afford to pay for formula, and she said she would be happy to buy it.
I called my husband, sobbing, he didn’t understand what the big deal was. She’s just trying to watch out for her grandson. He also claims he wasn’t aware that I was giving him milk, which is absolute nonsense.
I called my MIL and made it very clear that I am his mother, not her, and I am not putting up with the backseat parenting anymore. If she wants to see either of my children again, she needs to keep her opinions to herself.
I have since retrieved my son from her house and brought him to daycare. My husband is blowing up on me for being disrespectful to his mom, who has helped us as much as she has.
My daughter is on vacation with my mom, who is totally on my side, typically she visits MIL with my son, but this week, she’s completely uninvolved.
A bit long-winded, but AITJ for cutting off my MIL and telling her that she won’t be involved in our lives for the foreseeable future?”
8. AITJ For Not Waiting For My Husband's Aunt?
“I had a doctor’s appointment today because I messed up my back somehow. Don’t even know what I did, but I can barely walk.
My husband’s aunt was going to babysit. She was in a town 2 hours away but said she would be home in time. Well, the doctor’s office had some scheduling issues and needed me to come in 30 minutes earlier. Inconvenient, but I’m in pain so I don’t care, I’ll be there.
I called the aunt and asked if she would be back by the earlier time and if not I said I’d just take the kids with me. She said it was no problem, she’d be back.
I went to her place 15 minutes before my appointment.
I needed about 10 minutes to get to the appointment. She wasn’t home yet. I waited another 5 minutes, then I had to go. Took the kids with me. Texted her later saying thanks anyway, but I had to go or I’d be late.
Now she’s upset because she was looking forward to babysitting. I guess she got home about 2 minutes after I’d left. Which would have meant I’d be 2 minutes late for my appointment. I mean, they kept me in the waiting room for 20 minutes so I guess it would have been fine, but I hate being late.
After I got home, she called and asked if I could bring the kids by for a bit anyway since I couldn’t wait for her. I apologized but said I was just in too much pain. The doctor twisted me around like a pretzel and gave me muscle relaxers and said I should slowly improve over the next week or so.
But today, it sucks. I’m hurting. My kids are 2 and 4 and just taking care of them has me at my pain threshold. I didn’t have it in me to load them and drive them over to her. I told her my husband can bring them over this weekend, but I’m only moving as much as is absolutely necessary.
So AITJ or should I have waited a little longer?”
7. AITJ For Calling My Ex A Terrible Mother?
“My ex (32F) is a wreck of a human being and unfortunately, I have 2 daughters with her that I share 50/50 custody with. She has crippling anxiety and depression. While I know that they impact her daily life, I believe she uses them as an excuse to be lazy as well.
There are many reasons why I believe this, but when we were together I noticed that she would always allow her anxiety and depression to hold her back from doing things she did not want to do. Yet, when something she wanted to do came around she never had any issues.
Whether or not her issues are as bad as she claims, co-parenting with her has been a nightmare. It’s one thing if she wants to use her conditions as a crutch in her own life, but she constantly uses them to ignore our kids.
Both our daughters have expressed to me that they can never talk with their mom about anything serious. If they want to do anything that mom does not want to do, depression and anxiety suddenly boil to the surface right before they do it.
However, when mom wants to do anything it has never been an issue.
Yesterday, I got a call from my daughters. Their mom was supposed to pick them up from after-school clubs but had not shown up for nearly an hour.
It’s a 14-mile journey to their mom’s house from their school and the school busses no longer run when the club gets out. Their mom is supposed to pick them up and she had not been picking up her calls and ignored every text.
I had to leave work early and took them to my house, where they stayed until my ex finally answered our call at 7 PM. She claimed she was having an incredibly rough day, had not slept the night before, and only got to sleep at noon.
The excuse of depression and anxiety came up again and she said she knew I would pick them up so she put her phone on mute and went to bed.
I lost it. I told her that her disabilities do not excuse her from being a terrible mother and a lazy piece of work.
I won’t get into what I fully said to her after that here, but she was crying by the time I finished. I told her that I would also be taking her back to court to contest custody because I will not be allowing something like this to happen again.
My daughters are still with me right now, and when I asked my ex if she wanted them back for the rest of her week she simply did not respond. I’ve already sent over the documents to my lawyer but when I told my mom the full story she got incredibly mad at me.
She claims that I was way out of line and that the entire situation was made 100x worse by me. I also got an incredibly hostile text from my ex’s sister telling me that my ex completely broke down and has not been able to function since yesterday.
Now I’m wondering if I truly went overboard.”
6. AITJ For Asking My Husband To Come Straight Home After Work?
“My (35f) husband (38m) gets off of work at 8 PM.
It takes about 15 minutes to get home. Every single night, he gets home between 830 and 9 o’clock. I’ve noticed that he goes to the grocery store almost every night and a lot of times it’s for things like lotion or dog food that we really don’t need because we will already have dog food at home.
He also says that he likes to decompress in his car by listening to music and playing a game on his phone for like 10 or 15 minutes. We have three kids, one of them is an infant and I could really use his help at home.
Around this time, I’m trying to get the baby to bed, trying to get the older kids to shower and finish homework.
And when he comes home this close to nine, he barely gets to see the kids and he doesn’t eat dinner with any of us because we have already eaten.
I’ve offered a compromise, asking him if he could just do this decompression like a couple of nights a week or if he could come straight home and decompress after the kids are in bed like I have to.
He told me that if he comes straight home that he’s going to need 30 to 60 minutes of decompression time and then he’s going to go to bed, basically saying that he will not spend any time with me.
He’s telling me that I can’t compromise because I want him to come straight home and that I’m telling him that he’s a bad parent and a bad husband because he’s choosing to not spend this time with his family.
He also likes to take one or two hours every single day off so that he can drive around and listen to music and play video games on his phone. I understand wanting time to yourself, but every single day?
Especially when it’s making your wife’s life more stressful? Am I the jerk for my request? He told me that his therapist said that individuals need time to themselves, but I think that this amount of time is selfish and it’s making things more stressful for me.”
5. AITJ For Lecturing A Little Girl's Parents After I Almost Hit Her With My Car?
“I (F20s) was driving home from work this afternoon when I almost hit a little girl. The road where my work is located is a busy road with many side streets.
I always do 35 mph (the posted speed limit) and set my cruise control, as I’d done this afternoon. I was not distracted or impaired in any way, I was watching the road and fully following traffic laws.
There was a car in front of me.
The girl who was around 11 on a scooter was scootering up towards the main road from one of the side roads. She almost didn’t stop for the car in front of me but she did. She watched that car go and waited as the car going the opposite way beside it passed. She didn’t look in my direction as she scootered into the road.
Though I saw her I didn’t expect her to scooter in front of me so I slammed on brakes though I stopped about a car and a half’s length away from her. She jerked away and ended up falling backward into a shallow ditch.
I pulled over and ran over to her. She was crying but I think it was more fear than injury.
I made sure she was okay physically, she said she was. I then set into her on how dangerous her actions were, what was she thinking, and why didn’t she look both ways, if she didn’t understand traffic safety then she shouldn’t be on a scooter on a busy street.
She cried. I told her that I wanted to speak to her parents because honestly, she should have known better and if she didn’t know better then they aren’t parenting properly. She wasn’t wearing a helmet or pads and she had earphones in so I assume she was listening to music, but if she was she wasn’t by the time I got to her.
She took me to her home where I spoke to her parents and told them what had happened and asked why they were letting an obviously ill-prepared child ride anything without teaching her safety. The girl told her parents that she had just made a mistake but that I was being ‘really mean’.
I told her that she should be grateful that it’s me being ‘really mean’ to her and not a doctor telling her parents that their child was dead. I asked her how she thought her parents would feel if I’d hit her, how I would feel.
I told the parents to either teach her properly or keep her off the streets.
The dad told me I was a jerk and I shouldn’t be telling people how to raise their kids. The mom said I was overreacting and that I was probably driving too fast or dangerously.
I have a dash cam so I’m not worried about accusations regarding my driving, I was 100% following traffic laws. The dad told me to get off their property before he called the cops. I told him to go ahead and I’d show the cops the dash cam video and I assume that any cop would fault the parents for letting a child run around a busy street without supervision or proper safety lessons.
They slammed the door in my face and I went back to my car and went home.
Was I a jerk?”
4. AITJ For Letting My Daughter Snap At Her Cousin?
“My (38F) 16-year-old daughter Ally started her senior year and my 15-year-old son Josh started his sophomore year. They’ve been enjoying school since their cousin Chase (14M) started high school this year and they all got the same lunch period.
They quickly started to hate going to school when their cousin Gabe (16M) switched his lunch period to theirs.
Gabe always smells like body odor, says very offensive things loudly, and is very gross and annoying. (This is what Ally told me) Gabe also got put into each one of my kid’s classes.
Making class hard for both of them because both teachers are making my kids help him because he refuses to do his work. He’ll also wait outside Chase’s class to walk with him to lunch and the kids aren’t able to ditch him.
They tell me this and send texts throughout the day.
Gabe’s parents weren’t going on the traditional family camping trip. Gabe tried to go with my FIL and MIL since Ally was going with them. (My MIL hates riding alone since they were taking separate vehicles and invited Ally to go with her a day early since she has good grades and can miss an extra day of school and recover fine; Gabe’s grades are terrible and if Gabe was even invited they don’t have room for him to sleep in the trailer.) He refused to understand why he couldn’t go and kept saying that MIL was playing favorites.
My FIL went behind her back and invited his friend up and also had his friend bring Gabe. This started a few arguments between the kids because Gabe kept calling Ally a jerk for leaving early.
During the trip, the kids came back from playing in the forest saying that Gabe wouldn’t stop making fun of all of them.
They decided to come to play cards in my trailer because I told them beforehand Gabe wouldn’t be allowed in here because he wasn’t sleeping here. Gabe tried to come in but I lied to him saying that the kids were eating lunch and that to leave them alone while they ate.
The kids stayed in there for an hour with Gabe coming and knocking on the door every 15ish minutes. After about 9 knocks, Ally became furious, opened the door, and snapped saying, ‘You’re annoying and gross, leave me and the boys alone.
None of us even wanted you to come up this year. Go bother other people.’ Gabe looked at me and asked if I was going to say anything. I told him that Ally said the truth and that he needs to leave my trailer.
He went and sulked at his tent. My SIL sent me nasty text messages and I’m starting to wonder, AITJ?”
3. AITJ For Being Angry At A Waiter For Announcing My Birthday To The Whole Restaurant?
“I (28m) just celebrated my birthday and my mother wanted to take me out to dinner. I wasn’t in the mood but to make her happy I agreed so we went to a local whiskey bar. I’m not the kind of person who likes to draw attention to themselves.
Do you know those people who turn their birthday into a birth month? I’m the exact opposite of that. It’s another day but I do the niceties to make the family happy. So with that said, we sit down, order our food, and my mom mentions to the server we are celebrating my birthday.
The server made note it was my birthday so I made sure to tell her explicitly ‘PLEASE no singing’. I don’t want singing at my table, no nothing. I’m 28 and just want to enjoy a nice dinner with my mom.
She says ‘It’s okay we don’t do singing.’ I was happy with that statement.
Dinner goes smoothly and when dessert came, I saw my server with a dessert and a candle. That’s fine, but on the other side of my eye, I saw another server walking to my table with something in their hand.
Before I could see what it was, said server started ringing this loud cowbell getting the entire restaurant’s attention. ‘EVERYONE WE HAVE A BIRTHDAY HERE GIVE IT UP FOR XXXXX’.
I get it. For most people, it’s a fun happy little thing.
But for me, I snapped. I don’t like attention. I said no singing for that reason, not thinking they would try some other thing. I couldn’t even enjoy the dessert that I sent it back to the bar. When my server came to me asking how things were and if I finished my dessert early, I snapped at her.
‘I said no singing and you do this?’ She looks at me and goes ‘Well, I said we didn’t do singing here.’ I looked at her and said, ‘When I said no singing, what made you think I’d rather have a bell ringing in my ear?’ She apologized and said she ‘read the situation wrong’.
She walked away, and another guy (probably the manager) came and tried making light of the situation but I just wanted to leave. My mother was upset with me and told me that I made the server cry. AITJ?”
2. AITJ For Telling My Significant Other That His Success Is Our Success?
“My significant other (23) and I (21) have been together since my senior year of high school. Right before I graduated we moved in together and right after I started working. A couple of months later he got problems with his health that caused him to not really be able to do any housework, like cleaning, cooking, etc. He had a bigger income than me and a longer and more successful career than I did, and we decided it’d be best for me to quit working and start doing all the housework, even though this meant all his family and friends saw me as a gold digger.
After this, his career took up very fast, and he started earning a lot more. No one knew where his new determination and extra energy came from. He would brag about how easy work was, and that he only had to work maybe an hour and then he’d just spend time with his friends for the rest of the working day.
The housework took me all day, every day to get done. He’d buy himself expensive designer things and expensive presents to people, while if I needed makeup or new shoes he’d get picky and whine about being stressed about money.
Every time I needed something, he’d take up how it was his money and he worked so hard to get it.
Recently he got an award at work, including a trip with his friends, money, and a party. I wanted to join the trip, but he didn’t want to be embarrassed in front of his friends by bringing his SO.
I finally got enough of him getting so much praise and told him it felt bad he kept getting rewarded for an achievement I felt was ours together. He got really mad at me for saying that, saying how I’m an ungrateful brat that he has to provide for and he works hard every day to achieve the things he’s gotten.
I know I chose to stay at home and he technically does work completely by himself for the money, but it just bugged me so bad. So, AITJ for telling him I don’t like that he gets awarded for his success?”
1. AITJ For Telling My Husband To Try To Reduce His Child Support?
“I (F) and my husband Tom have a child together (3M). Tom has another child with his ex-wife, Connor (13M).
At the time of the divorce (I only met him 3 years later) Tom had a stable job that paid well, so the judge ruled child support for his son very high and Tom had no problem paying. He has visits on weekends.
After 1 year of our son, Tom was fired and found a job that paid much less than the previous one. For comparison purposes, the old salary the child support took 30%, and with the current one, it takes 85%.
This created tension between us.
I had to start working hard and twice as normal because Tom couldn’t help with almost anything at home, as there was only 15% of his salary left after paying my stepson’s child support. Even though I talked to him, he said he didn’t want to downsize so as not to harm Connor and I really tried to be understanding.
This reached my limit when I had an accident and I was out of work for 3 months, I am self-employed and my salary has decreased by 95%. In those 3 months, we didn’t go hungry because my sister helped.
And if he was 1 day late in paying child support, Tom’s ex would call him and charge him, not caring that we were tight.
2 months after this, I sat down with Tom and told him that our son had the same quality of life rights as his brother, which is not happening and is harming my health (the accident was due to stress). So, it was his decision, but I would do whatever was necessary for my son to have a good quality life and it was time to realize that it is not possible to maintain this value of child support without interfering with the quality of life of his other son.
He tried to argue, but he saw my point of view and after 1 month of seeing this, the judge asked for a reduction in the value of child support (it was proven that it was far beyond what he could pay without interfering in his life and other kid).
He fixed it to 30% of his salary.
Since Tom has never complained about it, it’s pretty clear that I ‘influenced’ him and his ex is texting me, saying that I’m knowingly lowering my stepson’s quality of life and that I should feel ashamed for doing this to a child.
This is a pretty mess and it’s left to me, the ‘monster’ who did this to a child.
AITJ?”
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