People Need To Contemplate Their Actions in These Am I The Jerk Stories
45. AITJ For Telling My Sister's Husband To Stop Competing With Her Ex For Their Kids' Affection?
“My sister has three kids with her ex. Jonas and Lachlan (10) and Summer (7). They broke up when she was pregnant with Summer. They’d had a pretty rocky relationship. She was never sure she actually wanted to be with him, but the boys had been a reason she kept trying.
Ultimately she decided, after talking to the family about it, they were better off as co-parents. Especially before they ended up with a bunch of kids together.
They’re civil. Sometimes my sister has admitted she regrets not ending it on better terms.
She met her husband Stan 4 years ago and married him 3 years ago. Stan is a jerk.
He’s entitled, spoiled and has never been my favorite person. He thought that we all hated my niblings dad and blamed him for their breakup and that he would make a better dad to my niblings. I think he was shocked that we were all still on civil to friendly terms with my niblings dad.
He was also pretty aggravated early on when the kids didn’t latch onto him as a better dad. That they still loved their dad. That they would miss him on weeks they were with my sister. He tried to win them over by spoiling them and trying to invite himself along to different activities that they did with their dad normally.
This past Father’s Day he even gatecrashed a hockey event for father’s and their kids that their dad was at with them. His name wasn’t down so it became an ordeal and he was angry that the kids said he wasn’t their dad. Or that their dad didn’t invite him to join in.
But he has made snarky remarks to him over the years.
He has claimed their dad commits parental alienation by not sharing all father duties equally with him. He has claimed he is a selfish dad for not allowing them to stay in a two parent home. He keeps talking about things he does better, or how he does more than the kids dad does, when I know that isn’t true.
Our whole family knows my sister’s ex is an amazing dad to their kids.
He even tried to bribe the boys into having my sister and him there for their schools field day with parents event. They had asked their mom and dad but Stan wanted to go with my sister and he didn’t want their dad there.
The boys were saying they wanted their parents there, which angered him off.
So he was ranting and raving about everything when some family came over at the weekend and I told him the competition with my niblings dad is pathetic and he needs to stop acting so entitled and start being happy for the kids that they have a great dad who isn’t a deadbeat.
He was angry at me but while most everyone else agreed, my sister said I could have been less harsh.
AITJ?”
44. AITJ For Not Wanting To Reconnect With My Aunt Who Stole From My Parents?
“My dad (Peter, 61M) has a sister (Lola, 55F) who is trying to contact me (34F) after 10 years of no contact.
She is asking to go for lunch and meet up and build a relationship.
Peter has told me that Lola is getting older and she is trying to reconnect, that she has told him that she would like to have a relationship again with her niece and nephews.
We have been on no speaking terms for 10 years because Lola stole a lot of money from my parents and betrayed Peter’s trust. Lola and her husband then declared themselves bankrupt and refused to pay the money.
They went to court and it was painful. I believe Lola has been paying slowly but the whole situation made my parents fight a lot and go through a lot of stress (especially Peter, who was heartbroken and still to this day is sad about it).
I also have bad memories about some stuff Lola did when my grandma (her mom) was dying when I was younger.
I remember Lola never went to see her in the hospital (my mum did), and even said in front of us that she wished my gran died. Lola made my gran keep doing her house chores while she was really ill.
Lola also used to tell my parents what I searched on the computer when I went to spend the day at their house.
They phoned Peter to gossip to them about private phone calls I had with friends on my phone (Lola would snoop around).
My brother is telling me that I should meet up with Lola and be the better person and that forgiving is key. At the moment I am happy and I have not missed Lola and I have never felt sad about not having her around in my life honestly.
It may sound selfish but I don’t think she has nothing positive to bring to my life.
WIBTJ if I told Lola that I don’t want to hang around?”
43. AITJ For Refusing To Give Up My Twins' Room For My Husband's Cat?
“I (27female) have twins(6female and male) with my hubby Gabriel(27male). I have a three year old German shepherd (had her since she was a month old) and hubby has a 6 year old cat (got her only 5 months ago).
Gabriel decided to rush the process of getting a cat and just brought home a random cat without finding out the information about the cat.
So now he is stuck with a cat that is a bit uncomfortable around dogs. Not extremely uncomfortable but it will take a quite bit of time for the cat to be fully comfortable around my dog.
My dog doesn’t go near her and is really uninterested in her. The cat doesn’t have its own room but loads of places around our house where the cat can be alone.
But the presence of a dog still stresses her out. Which means pee and poop accidents and loads of torn up stuff.
Hubby thinks the situation will be better if we give up the second bedroom all to the cat. Which also belongs to our twins. He said they can go back to sleeping in our room.
I said absolutely not and suggested other places.
Closet- nope too small
Garage- nope it’s “inhumane”
Basement- absolutely not
Attic- absolutely not
Our basement and attic are modern and furnished not those old scary ones. After many more suggestions and him refusing them all I told him to just get rid of the cat.
I told him that he was crazy to think I would just get move our kids into our room and put his cat in there.
After all this entire situation is his fault. He chose to bring home a cat he knew absolutely nothing about. Had he asked he would’ve found out that the cat isn’t good around dogs.”
42. AITJ For Giving My Brother an Ultimatum About His Partner?
“I(18f) have an older brother(19m) and he’s seeing the most awful human being ever. This is their second time together. He broke up with her the first time because she was mean, verbally aggressive, and told him to prioritize her over his family and siblings.
When they broke up she egged our mailbox on three separate occasions and texted me, him, and our friends threats from fake numbers. Finally, in her last ditch attempt to make his life miserable her and her friends began bullying me(I shaved my head) for the last half of my junior year of high school.
It got so bad that I went online and graduated by myself. So it’s a shock to me when he tells me they’re together again. I tell him I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and very early in it’s clear to see she hasn’t changed a bit. She told him he cares too much about my feelings and not enough about hers, doesn’t let him see friends, told my little brother he can’t go to his own house because they were spending alone time together, and is completely and totally isolating him.
I’m upset because I would never be with someone who did the things she did and I feel so completely betrayed and disrespected. After many polite talks I snapped yesterday(when she showed up to a family event without any warning) and told him that’s she’s a terrible person, I want nothing to do with her, and that eventually I’ll get tired of the blatant disregard for my feelings and stop trying.
My dad thinks I’m wrong in giving an ultimatum-like situation. So AITJ?”
41. AITJ For Starting The Chess Clock When My Opponent Was Late?
“So for a bit of context my school has a chess club and they host chess tournaments every so often and they’re generally pretty chill events. The really good players crush everyone and they end up playing some pretty cool games, but I am not one of the superstars. Neither was my opponent.
Anyway, the games are scheduled throughout the day at specific times, and mine was supposed to start at 3:00.
So I get there and sit down at the table we’re supposed to play at and when 3:00 rolls around my opponent still isn’t here. I wait for a couple minutes to see if he’s going to show up, then I go ask one of the teachers who helps run the chess club what I should do if my opponent doesn’t show up.
He tells me to start the clock and wait for my opponent to show up, so I sit back down at my table and start the clock.
Anyway, around 20 minutes later he finally shows up, and then asks me why the clock is running. I explain to him that I started the clock because the game was supposed to start at 3:00, so I started it at 3:00.
He got pretty mad and talked to the teacher, who told him he just had to play at the 20 minute disadvantage but he wouldn’t budge.
Eventually the teacher convinced him by telling him that if he wouldn’t budge then he would just put him down as having resigned, giving me the win. So we sit down, and he finally plays his first move (around 30 minutes down at this point).
30 minutes is a pretty huge advantage, so I end up beating him and he was MAD. He called me a jerk for starting the clock when he wasn’t there and said that the game shouldn’t count since he was down 30 minutes.
I think I did what I was supposed to but I also get that it would be frustrating to lose a game because of a disadvantage like that and it would have been more sportsmanlike to not start the timer.
So AITJ?”
40. AITJ For Being Upset My Dad Rescheduled My Wisdom Teeth Removal Without My Consent?
“I (17NB) recently learned that I have a cavity on one of my wisdom teeth, meaning I would need to get that tooth as well as the other three removed. The appointment was originally scheduled on the 4th of August, and all was well and good until my father and I looked at a calendar and realized that I would start school within the next week.
I assumed we could either leave it as is, because the oral surgeon said recovery should take three days and while it will probably take longer I am fine with that, or schedule for a later date.
Now, my mother (divorced parents), has a beach house rented for the 30th through the the 1st, and is permitting me to bring a friend.
I told my father this before we even made the original appointment, so this was not a product of miscommunication. So when I walked out of my room this morning to be told that he had rescheduled the appointment to the 28th, I was less than pleased. Now, I believe I have a right to be upset as this is not the first time my dad has done something like this within the last few months (He changed my schedule without my permission or knowledge and I was told by my councilor instead, he’s been over stepping boundaries of mine that have been set for years, etc.), however according to my dad and stepmom I should be grateful that they decided to do this because I won’t have to go to school with my face all swollen, and this even resulted in a conversation with me being told I need to grow up and be prepared to start paying my own bills and rent the moment I graduate.
Apparently, I overreacted to the whole thing.
I don’t have a job, by the way, as I cannot drive due to dealing with ptsd from a past car wreck and, while I am learning, my dad and stepmom both refused to drive me to a job and said I would need to get one within walking distance.
I live in Texas. That is a recipe for heat stroke, and I can’t ask my mom because due to some housing issues she does not live nearby right now.
I have yet to tell my mom about this, mainly because I’ve told her about the other stuff he’s done recently and she’s already upset enough.
So, am I the jerk for “overreacting” to this? Did I even overreact?
Small update: Talked to my mom, we’ve decided that she is going to pick me up on the 27th no matter what, but we’ll probably wait a bit before telling my dad. Hopefully all goes well and I won’t need to update again.”
If it is, then move in with her. You are definitely old enough that the court will listen to your choice. Sounds as if dad and stepmother just want control so go live with mom and also let the court know that you would prefer deciding who makes appointments, etc., relating to you because you would like to have some input into thiose choices.
39. AITJ For Calling My Family Pigs After They Shamed My Healthy Lifestyle?
“My (F16) family has always been struggling with being overweight. Both my parents and my two older brothers never exercise, eat a lot of greasy unhealthy food and as a result, are morbidly obese.
Everywhere they go, they take the car, even if it’s only a 3 minute walk away. When I was younger I was putting on some weight as well, because I wasn’t able to take care of my own food intake and just had to eat whatever they gave me. Because of that, I had some self-esteem issues, and often confided about that with my best friend.
She told her mother, who’s a nutrition coach and personal trainer. In turn, her mother asked me if I was interested in learning how to make more healthy food and get into shape, if I felt that was something that would help me feel more comfortable in my own skin.
It’s been a few years since then, and I stopped eating whatever stuff my family eats every day and am now making my own meals.
I now have a healthy weight, good physical condition and really enjoying healthy cooking, though I do sometimes (maybe once a month) have a day to grab some McDonalds. I don’t have any self-esteem issues anymore and am genuinely happy with my body now.
My parents and brothers on the other hand are becoming more and more annoyed by me.
Last night we went out for ‘dinner’ (which is really just going to the biggest fast food chain in the area and stuffing themselves). I just had a single burger and some salad, and for some reason this completely set them off. They started yelling at me how I’m embarrassing them by eating so little, making other people think that they are starving me by not giving me enough food.
How I’m never going to get far in life by looking like a twig and that I really need to get some fat on my bones.
I kind of had it at this point as well because I’ve been hearing these kinds of comments for years now basically shaming me for being thin and not following their lifestyle.
So I yelled back that I’d rather look like a twig and be healthy, than act and look like a pig and die of a heart attack in 5 years. I then walked out, called my friend and asked if I could spend the night there. I haven’t been back home yet, but my phone is full of missed called and text-messages telling me to come home and apologize for my behaviour.
I don’t think I was entirely in the wrong (though maybe a bit rude) and really don’t want to apologize, especially not since they’ve been shaming me for years for following a healthy lifestyle.
AITJ for telling my family they’re pigs?”
38. AITJ For Being Upset That My Friend Took My High-Risk Dog To A Party Without Asking?
“For starters I (30sf) am trained to handle higher risk dogs and I have a long history in canine rehabilitation. I came across a young German Shepherd two years ago that had some negative behaviours due to mistreatment and I have been working diligently with her to rehabilitate her and socialize her, but I will do it under very specific circumstances that I have control over, because I understand her reactivity.
There are only a handful of people who I could trust to care for her while I am away and I am currently away for a week and a half and entrusted her care to a friend of mine (30sm) who seemed happy to work from home via my place to take care of her.
My dog has been comfortable with him but I explicitly asked for him to be with her for Canada Day due to fireworks etc. My instructions were clear and he was not obligated to agree but he did. He just sent me a video message saying that he has her in his car and driving over two hours away to go to a party with her and I absolutely lost it on him for doing that without asking or mentioning it.
Ultimately, if something happens and she bites someone because he doesn’t understand how to handle her, my dog gets destroyed and I potentially face charges (I don’t know). I know my dog well, and I know even with my training, handling her when she’s stressed and in a crowd isn’t easy.
AITJ for being upset that he would take that risk without even mentioning it?”
37. AITJ For Maintaining A Relationship With My Ex's Son After Our Divorce?
“I finalized my divorce last year.
When things fell apart between us, she said she didn’t want anything to do with my kids anymore (except for the one that is hers as well), but I didn’t feel the same way about her son. I’ve always liked him. He was seventeen when everything became official with the divorce, and I told him to keep in touch with me, and that I would always be there for him.
Last month was his high school graduation, and he invited me and all my kids. My ex was upset that I was there, but we didn’t sit near her. It was my custody week with our shared child, and I told him he could sit with his mom if he wanted to, and he did.
Afterwards, my youngest said his mom told him I was a jerk, which was real nice, I think. She ended up telling me over text how I ruined one of the most important days in her life for her.
Well, the fourth of July is her custody week, and I asked if our kid could come over to my barbeque for a few hours.
I also invited my former stepson. She said no immediately, even though I always make concessions for her (like having him go sit with his mom at his brother’s graduation, which I never had to do). My stepson agreed to come. I guess they have been fighting in the buildup to today, because she texted me a couple of hours ago saying our son was coming and her son was bringing him over and then back home.
She also said I ruined this holiday for her like I ruined her oldest’s graduation. She said I am a petty, hateful, resentful person that won’t let her have any peace, and she hopes one day everyone sees my true colors.
Am I really the jerk? I just want to retain a relationship with a kid I care about.
It’s not easy to be someone’s defacto dad for some really formative years in their life and then forget about them. I taught this kid to drive and bought him his first box of banana wrappers, how am I supposed to just drop him like a hot potato? But even my youngest thinks I’m being unfair to his mom.
He said I need to stop being mean to her. So maybe I really am the problem.”
36. AITJ For Wanting To Move Out After Being Forced To Babysit My Siblings For Years?
“I (20m) have decided to move away from my family and live on my own. My mother and father disapprove of my decision and have told me that if I go through with it, it would put a strain on the family. For a little bit of context, I am the oldest of three siblings by 5 years and my whole teenage years I was forced to watch and take care of my younger brother and sister, so my parents could go out and have fun.
I wasn’t allowed to go to parties. I wasn’t allowed to go out of town with friends. I had to quit all my sports (football and track) because they wanted me to watch my siblings every day. My birthdays were never really about me and always about the kids. I had to let them open my presents.
I had to share money that I had gotten from relatives and I had to let them blow out my candles.
My parents always told me it was my job as the oldest, and that what I was doing was for the good of my siblings. When I turned 15 my parents forced me into homeschooling so I could be home 24/7.
Around that time is also when they made me drop out of all sports. Over the next three years, my parents used me as a free babysitter, and kept using the excuse that I was a great older sibling. All the meanwhile they went out every night and I am stuck at home watching them.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my siblings with all my heart, and nothing will change that but losing all social life and being forced to stay home all the time was a living nightmare. When I turned 18 I told them that now that I am an adult, I will begin looking for work and they weren’t gonna stop me.
We got into a huge fight which ended me going to stay with my uncle for a few days. When I explained everything to him, he went to my parents house and offered to watch my siblings while I worked so for the next two years I worked two jobs while doing homeschool at the same time.
I was offered a scholarship to a mid-level college at 18 years old and took the opportunity. So now I’m working two jobs and on the scholarship.
On my 20th birthday I let my parents know that I had found an apartment with my uncles help and I would be moving out in two weeks.
When I told them this they blew up with anger. They asked me why would I move out when my family is all here. I told them I had had enough and wanted to move out and live on my own with nobody else. That was a week ago and my mother won’t talk to me and my father is angry.
Trying to explain I’m tearing the family apart. AITJ”
35. AITJ For Telling My Sister Not To Limit Baby Cuddles?
“My sister recently became a new mom, and she’s been married for almost two years.
We have a good relationship as siblings and friends, and I also get along well with her husband, despite not knowing him too well.
One morning, my sister and I were playing with her son on my bed, and I noticed how calm he became when she hugged him. We had a lighthearted conversation about cuddling, where she mentioned her husband’s concern about cuddling the baby too much would make him soft. I expressed my belief that cuddles make kids feel secure and happy and to not let her husband dictate cuddle rules.
However, my sister unexpectedly snapped at me, feeling that I had insinuated something negative about her husband. I was taken aback because I thought we were having some banter. I knew her husband wasn’t serious about his comment! She then said she wishes she hadn’t discussed the topic with me. This is the third time she’s snapped at me during her visit for context.
I normally apologise but this time I could tell she was triggered by my words and told me off?
I decided to take some time alone to think things through. Later, my sister confronted me about crossing a boundary by making that comment. I explained that I never intended to insult her husband or be rude, but rather, I wanted my nephew to feel loved. However, she insisted that I had crossed a line and accused me of not respecting other people’s boundaries while enforcing my own.
She went as far as saying “you have no right to tell me what to do”. This made me so angry so in order to regain composure I simply said okay and asked her to leave my room.
Our conversation ended abruptly, and we didn’t speak for the rest of the day. The next day, I offered her a cup of coffee as a peace offering, as I believed she had misunderstood my intentions and reacted strongly.
However, she expressed discomfort being at our house and left to house sit for a relative which made my mom cry. I don’t believe my comment was that offensive, and it seems like the situation has been blown out of proportion. I’m unsure if I am the one at fault here. AITJ?”
34. AITJ For Taking My Niece to a Festival Without My Stepdaughter?
“I (29F) have been with my husband John for 5 years.
He has a daughter, Ella (11F). Ella and I are very close and she’s gotten to be good friends with my sisters daughter Maddy (10F).
There was a large festival type event in our town last weekend. Ella is the one who originally saw the ad for the event a few weeks before and she got Maddy excited about it so the two of them asked if I would take them.
It looked like a lot of fun so I told them I’d be happy to go with them.
Ella came down with an illness while at her moms last week and was still unwell the day of the festival so she stayed home with her mother. My niece still wanted to go so we did and we had a great time together.
We got Ella a few little presents and we missed her but I didn’t see any reason for Maddy to miss out.
Ella was back in school on Monday (editing before someone asks because it’s summer haha – they go to day camp at the school) and Maddy had brought her gifts in to give her.
Ella had not realized we had still attended without her and got very upset when Maddy tried to tell her about the event. She said it was “her idea” and that we weren’t supposed to go without her. She called her dad after school and told him that we had been unfair to her by stealing her plans and having fun without her.
I understand that mentality from an 11 year old but I was absolutely shocked that my husband came home and picked an argument with me about it. Firstly, he knew Maddy and I still went and he said nothing. And secondly, it’s unfair that Ella caught a bug but Maddy did nothing wrong and I’m free to spend my time with my niece if I choose.
John insisted that I should prioritize Ella’s feelings because stepmother is a chosen commitment that’s greater than niece but I simply don’t see it that way, I love them both and sometimes things just aren’t fair. John has been irritated with me all week and now I’m wondering if it’s a valid way for me to think.
What do you all think? AITJ?”
33. AITJ For Saying I'd Feel Relief If My Troubled Stepsister Went To Jail?
“My Dad (44M) and stepmom Leah (46F) have been married for 10 years. But we’ve lived together since I (17F) was 5 and my stepsister Sarah (18F) was 6.
Around the time we were 12, Sarah started getting in trouble at school. It was small stuff at first but then it became constant and she started getting in trouble outside of school as well.
My Dad and Leah always said how Sarah was “just trying to fit in with her friends” and pretty much just ignored it because they said they “just had to wait” for Sarah and her friends to “grow out of it.”
Sarah’s been out of control since she was 15. My Dad and Leah keep their car keys locked in a safe yet Sarah still manages to steal them and drive unlicensed. She’s bragged to people about driving under the influence.
Sarah has been arrested more than a few times. But she’s never actually spent time in jail for more than a few hours, if even that, before being allowed to go home.
I strongly suspect that my Dad and Leah have been bribing people or pulling some other strings to keep Sarah out of jail.
But I stay quiet about it since I know I don’t have any actual evidence.
Two weeks ago, my friend Emma came over and we hung out in the backyard. Sarah came up in the conversation and Emma asked me what I thought was going to happen to Sarah now that she’s 18 and is also out of high school.
This is the part where I could be the jerk: I told Emma that because of all the crap Sarah does, she will end up serving serious jail time and I will feel nothing but relief the day that Sarah does inevitably go to jail.
It turns out that Leah was in our laundry room.
Our laundry room has a screen window to the backyard where Emma and I were hanging out, so Leah overheard what I said to Emma.
After Emma left, my Dad and Leah both confronted me about what I said. Leah told me she was appalled by what I said about Sarah because she’s been my sister for 10 years yet I said I would be relieved to see her go to jail.
Later my Dad came into my room and told me that he knows I can’t change how I feel. But that Leah is terrified of what is going to happen to Sarah now that she’s 18. So saying what I said out loud was unnecessary and incredibly insensitive to her.
Emma says that it may not have been the kindest thing to say about Sarah, but that I was just being honest and Leah shouldn’t have eavesdropped if she wasn’t prepared to hear something negative about her daughter.
I just got back to my Dad and Leah’s house after a week at my Mom’s house though and things are still pretty tense between us, especially me and Leah. I’m starting to doubt Emma’s words and whether or not I was the jerk for what I said. AITJ?”
32. AITJ For Bringing Up My Brother's Past Mistakes In Our Family Group Chat?
“AITJ for airing out my brother’s dirty laundry in my family’s group chat?
Some background info: my (24f) brother (37m) wasn’t in my life for a good 13 years because he struggled with addiction. He stole, lied, and nearly destroyed our family. He’s in a great place now, but still has his moments.
Now, here’s the story of where I may have been the jerk. I was housesitting for my parents this weekend while they were out of town.
I had my partner come over because my parents have a pool. Well, things happened between me and my partner, being that we were alone and nobody was there except us. It was nighttime. During it, I heard the door open and it happened to be my brother, who didn’t text me or give me a head ups that he was stopping by so he walked in on us.
He left without a word. (Context: he does not live there. He was stopping by to pick something up that my mom left for him). He then proceeded to text the family group chat of what he walked in on and how “disrespectful and dishonorable” it was. Now here’s where I may have been the jerk.
I was very upset so I fired back with “stealing your parents money and belongings isn’t disrespectful and dishonorable? Or threatening to push your own mom down the stairs isn’t disrespectful?” I don’t even want to speak to my brother right now because I’m not sure why my private life is anyone’s business, but I also feel bad for bringing up his past since he’s tried really hard to prove himself to the family since he recovered. So AITJ in this situation?”
31. AITJ For Considering Returning My Roommate's Abandoned Cat To The Adoption Center?
“My (20F) roommate (20F) suddenly moved out 2 weeks ago and left me with her cat. Roommate has spent less than a month total in our apartment, choosing instead to stay at her partner’s. Since October of 2022 I have been caring for her cat which she adopted around this time. She says she loves cats (she has 3 of her own), but for some reason has left me to pay for all of his needs (food, litter, vet appointments) and recently moved out without telling me, leaving the cat at the apartment.
I saw her last weekend and she told her parents, in front of me, that I was taking the cat without even asking. I am a college student looking to move and my city is very expensive with very limited housing for people with pets, cats included.
Everyone I have told about my situation seems to want me to be homeless rather than take the cat back to the adoption center she got him from.
I’ve been told by more than one person that if he is put down there, it will be my fault. He is part Siamese so he has digestive issues and regularly vomits, making him a special needs cat. These factors, in addition to the fact that he really is a super cute kitty, has really impacted my search for housing.
I know that realistically I should take him back to the adoption center and focus on making sure I can find a home in the next 3 weeks, but I can’t make myself do it. So if worst comes to worst and I have to make a decision, WIBTJ for getting rid of her cat?”
30. AITJ For Changing My Birth Name Due To My Mother's Inappropriate Usage?
“I 24F am in the processing of changing my legal birth name.
I am the oldest of a dozen children and my parents were pretty absent due to substance misuse and mental health problems, causing us to end up in the foster care system.
At 18, I was homeless because I had nowhere to go and no one in my family was willing to take me in. The majority of my siblings are adopted into good families but I’m one of the few who aged out.
My birth name has never really resonated with me and is a constant reminder of what separates me from my siblings and family. My mother (45F) has been misusing my name for inappropriate activities. She is using my name for illicit activities. I 24F recently finished two Bachelor’s Degrees and in my fields of study it is very important to maintain a good image.
I am the first ever on both sides to graduate from a University. I have decided to change my birth name to something I find more suitable for myself and because I do not want to be associated with my mother’s activities while looking for a job after recently graduating.
Recently, I went to a family gathering where multiple people confronted me on my mother’s side of the family telling me how they do not like my new name etc. and how I should have never changed it.
(These family members also frequently talk to my mom who I do not have a relationship with and are aware of her activities under my birth name). They’re trying to make me feel guilty for changing it and everyone is really upset with me for pursuing the name change. Am I the jerk?.”
29. AITJ For Insisting Dog Owners Follow Leash Rules at the Public Park?
“I love being outdoors and I play disc golf quite regularly. A lot of disc golf courses are in multi-use public parks. One of my favorites near me is in this giant public park with baseball/softball fields, a swimming pool, basketball court, kids playgrounds, running trails, and the course is woven between all those things.
The last several weeks I’ve gone, almost every time I’ve ended up telling people they need to put their dog on a leash because it’s mandatory. People tend to get really upset and try to argue with me that their dog is nice, wouldn’t ever hurt anybody, they have control, etc. I always say it’s the rules and that I’m going to call the city if they don’t put their dog on a leash.
I actually do like dogs, but I was attacked as a kid by a loose dog. I lost one of my cats growing up to 2 loose dogs. My nephew has been bitten twice by the same neighbor’s dog before it got put down. I just personally believe that dog owners are not respectful towards others in a lot of circumstances, and I will admit that when I see someone breaking a leash rule these past instances come to my mind.
Friday afternoon I was playing with some friends and a friend of a friend got mad at me for telling this guy to put his dog on a leash. After we walked away from that guy (who just decided to leave the park instead of putting the leash he was carrying in his hands on his dog) this friend of a friend laid into me a little bit.
Told me I had embarrassed them and was being a jerk to dog owners. I tried to explain to him that it’s posted on many signs throughout the park and that there are kids and families running around who shouldn’t have to even think about a loose dog, but he was adamant that I was in the wrong and I should just “live and let live.”
Am I the jerk? Am I out of place for calling people out?”
28. AITJ For Selling My Son's Sentimental Lamp At A Yard Sale?
“I have 2 kids, a 24 year old son and 26 year old daughter. Both have their own places. At first when they moved out, they asked if they could keep some stuff at the house because their own spaces weren’t big enough. I was fine with that.
I didn’t even change their rooms or anything, as I didn’t have a need to.
My husband retired early. I was a stay-at-home/housewife, so with the kids gone we have a lot of freedom now. We’ve decided this is too much house for just the two of us and are going to move a few hours away to a smaller beach town, get a condo there.
At first the kids were fine with it, teased us about being “old” (we’re both in our 50s) and offered to help us pack up the house.
As I was going through it on my own, I realized how much junk we have. Our condo is small and it’s not going to hold a lot.
I’d rather not get a storage locker either. I gave my kids some warning back in February and said they had until May to go through their old rooms and take what they want. The rest would be put up at a yard sale and whatever didn’t sell, end up in Good Will.
Every time they came over, they’d take little by little but still left a lot. We had to put off the yard sale due to weather so they even had an extra month. I gave them a final warning last weekend. Only my daughter showed up. My son said he was fine. I asked him twice if he was sure.
He said yup.
So, I organized everything and we had a yard sale Friday through Sunday. The kids came by to help out today. At one point, they went upstairs to look at their rooms as they had never seen them empty (they had the same rooms from birth until they moved out. I admit it was weird for me to see them empty!)
That’s when my son came back down and asked about a lamp he had since he was a baby. My MIL made it for him. I said he never took it, so it sold yesterday. He got very upset and asked how I could sell something like that. I said he had so many opportunities to grab it, he was warned that everything was going, it was up to him to decide what was sentimental. Honestly, he never talked about the lamp so I didn’t see the big deal. My MIL made the kids a lot of stuff and he took the rest of it, so it’s not as if he has nothing.
I did try to ask the significance of the lamp but he said I shouldn’t have gotten rid of it. I genuinely told him I was sorry, I felt horrible he was so upset!
He left not long after. My daughter feels I never should’ve put it out. Their grandmother died 5 years ago, so she can’t make a new one.
I have no way of tracking down who bought it. My husband feels for our son too, but says he had plenty of opportunity to grab it. AITJ?”
27. AITJ For Refusing To Share My Sunscreen With My Friend Who Didn't Want To Use Hers?
“Basically the title. We (both 19F) are on a trip now and the first 2 times we went to the beach I’d give her some sunscreen to put a bit on shoulders and back as the most sensitive areas.
Then on the 3rd day of our trip she got sunburnt badly because she “didn’t know that one can get legs sunburnt”.
She then kept asking me to give her more sunscreen to cover her whole body, not just shoulders as before. I asked her why can’t she use her own (she has 2 bottles) and she said she “doesn’t want to use/waste them” like implying they’re too expensive to use for her whole body.
I wouldn’t say my sunscreen is expensive or cheap, it’s a 30+- dollar bottle which I intend to last for the whole summer for me without sharing it with everyone.
I told her that if she doesn’t want her sunscreen to finish then I have just as much right to feel the same way about my belongings and that the next time we are passing by a store she can buy a cheaper brand if she needs.
I’m generally the type of person who doesn’t like to share and ask others to share. I don’t take anything I don’t give anything, I always try to bring my own things to be self sufficient so it annoys me when others feel like they can rely on asking me for things.
She didn’t buy her own sunscreen and neither she used the ones she already has so she got even more sunburnt and always complains about her sore legs like it’s my fault.
Is it really my fault? AITJ?”
26. AITJ For Insisting On Mexican Food Despite My Mother-In-Law's Dietary Preferences?
“My husband, mother in law and I live together. Me and my husband have a 8 almost 9 month old son. I told my husband around 1:30 that I was hungry. We both know I’m at work and Uber eats is expensive so I asked if we would like to go get lunch after I got off of my shift, 3pm.
He says yes and that he’ll ask mom. She says she wants to go too but now here’s the hard part.. no one knows where to go. I told my husband I wanted him to decide where we’re going to eat. It’s 3pm and I’m getting off work, I leave more around 3:10pm and I’m heading home.
I call and ask if I’m meeting them or picking them up, he asks where I decided to eat. I told him no because I was working and I left that task up to him and his mother.
Whatever, he suggested Mexican or Italian. I said I don’t feel like Italian because the employees lunch this month (Wednesday) was going to be Italian so Mexican would be good.
As I’m driving home, he is still looking up restaurants. I told him I wanted to be waited on at an actual restaurant, he search continues. I get home and park and tell him to bring the baby down with some food so we can find a place on the way. One issue is while we were talking he didn’t say he was heating up food for the baby.
Annoyed that I told him two hours ago I was hungry, I ask why if we are going out to eat? (Usually I have to feed baby to make eating out bearable) He says it’s because the baby just woke up.. at 3:30pm. Fine, whatever. I get inside and I’m looking for an outfit for baby cause I don’t want to take him in PJ’s.
His mother comes out and asks where we’re going, then proceeds to say she doesn’t want Mexican food cause she wants Asian or Golden Corral. Every time we’ve gone out the last two months it’s been that. I’m sick of it, you would hope understandably so! She says she doesn’t want Mexican cause of the salt in the food per her diet.
I told her I’m sick of Asian food and Golden Corral. She gets mad and now she “doesn’t want to go”. Now my husband doesn’t want to go out to eat cause it’s wrong. It’s now 6:22pm and no one has eaten. I have to sleep in 2.5hrs to work at 7am tomorrow, am I the jerk for wanting Mexican food and trying to stick to what I was wanting?”
25. AITJ For Refusing To Call My Step-Dad "Dad"?
I (15F) live with my mother (36F) and step-dad (35M), as well as my little half-brother (12M). My mom and step-dad have been together for a little over 11 years now, and I have never called my step-dad “Dad”. This is because my father is still alive, and I see at least twice every month. My little brother also sees his dad a lot, but calls both my step-dad and his father “dad”
This is not an issue for my step-dad, as he himself has a step-mother, and doesn’t call her “mom”, but it is a HUGE issue for my mom. My mom has always been patient about it, saying “it takes time to get used to a new parent” but she’s grown aggravated over the subject the past few years.
My mother sat me down at the kitchen table and called my step-dad in, and she folded her hands on the table and pursed her lips together, something she always does when she has something on her mind that she knows I won’t agree with.
“You have to start calling your dad, “dad.”
My step-dad looked surprised, and i was too.
i told her that it hadn’t been an issue before, so i didn’t understand why it was now. My mom said that she thought it was disrespectful to not call him “dad” when he’s raised me for a lot of my life. I argued and said that I still had a father, and i wanted to call him “dad” with no overlap.
this only made her more angry and she started to yell about it.
This upset my step-dad, who stopped her and told me to go to my room. I heard shouting for a little while before i looked out the window and saw my step-dad drive off (he does this when he needs to clear his head)
My mother came in and sat on my bed. She then told me that it was my fault that he had left us, and that if I continued to call my father “dad”, she had a feeling that my step-dad would stop loving me.
So, AITJ?
24. AITJ For Rescheduling My Spouse's Surprise Event With His Friends After Family Cancelled?
“I originally created a group text message with my spouse’s family notifying them of the plan to surprise my spouse at Top Golf.
Due to planning conflict, I had to tell my spouse about the plan which ruined the surprise aspect. Within 48 hours, his parents said that they would not be able to make it because his sister refused to her dog alone for two hours and in an effort to satisfy all parties, my spouse’s parents would not attend the event.
This upset my spouse because he wanted his family all together for this occasion and felt that his desires were not being considered by his parents. He asked me to cancel the event completely and told his parents it was not happening.
His parents did not want to tell his sister that we knew about the conversation that they had because she didn’t want the sister to be mad.
When we told his mom that the plan was cancelled, his mother asked us to wait until the week before the original event, and then lie by saying that we couldn’t get a reservation. I refused to participate in the lie, stating that nothing good would come from it. I agreed that out of respect for his parents , I would not contact the sister directly to notify her of the cancellation and I would let the internal family inform her however they decide.
My spouse explicitly mentioned he still wanted to go to TopGolf so I scheduled it with his friends instead of his family. He enjoyed the event and had a good time.
The next day at a family dinner, I received disrespectful passive aggressive comments from his family about how I didn’t take the family , specifically from his sister.
The sister was specifically upset that she was not notified. In response, I said that the overall group was notified months prior. It resulted in his family having a screaming match with me and my spouse before we eventually left. I eventually found out that the mom is playing both sides , most likely in fear of her secrets coming out.
AITJ for still scheduling the surprise event with my spouse’s friend after it was cancelled with his family?”
23. AITJ For Not Driving My Grandparents To The Train Station On My Husband's Birthday?
“My husband’s birthday and our one year wedding anniversary are within a month of each other. He talks all the time about how much he loved attending a festival we went to last year, so I decided to get the both of us tickets to go again this year as a combo anniversary/birthday present.
I also told him I bought the tickets, as they sell out quickly and didn’t want him to buy them himself. I purchased them over a month ago. The first day of the festival is on his actual birthday, and he is beyond excited. I also immediately told my mom we were going because she asks what I was planning for his birthday and our anniversary all the time.
This past Sunday, my mom, her parents, my husband and I went to brunch for my maternal grandparents’ anniversary. She does not live nearby but has been staying with my grandparents to help them with medical appointments. Her present to her parents for their anniversary was to go on a vacation with her. My mom will be flying there, but my grandparents will be taking the train because it is hard for them to fly (grandfather is deaf and sets off security machines because he had both knees replaced).
Because I live close to them, she asked if I could drive them to the train station. I said sure, when? And she says the date. I respond that that date is my husband’s birthday (which she knows but clearly forgot) and remind her we have plans. She says oh shoot I forgot.
Grandma chirps in that we can just drive her before we go.
I ask when the train leaves, and she says the time. The problem is, the train station I would need to drive them to is over 2 hours away from the festival. Most people get there before doors open because parking is a nightmare. Their train leaves 30 min before gates open. I told her we would need to drop them at the station almost 3 hours early in order to make it feasible.
She doesn’t like the option because they would be there very early in the morning. I ask why they can’t just drive themselves and leave their car at the station. She is clearly offended and says I should just be late for the festival because they are worried their car will get stolen or damaged and they don’t want to pay for parking (they are tight on money).
I told her this was an anniversary/birthday present for my husband and we need to be there early so we can find parking before it fills up. She thinks I should help them out because they’ve done a lot for me growing up. AITJ for asking them to drive themselves or get there early so I don’t ruin my present for my husband?”
22. AITJ For Telling My Landlord About My Sick Roommate's Frequent 911 Calls?
“I just moved into a new place in a new city.
It’s super expensive here and I wanted to get my feet on the ground, so I found I place that does short term rentals, I signed for 3 months. Another person also signed a short lease and moved in a few days before me. There is already an established tenant who has been here awhile, not sure how long.
This established tenant has been sick, has a bad cough and said they have bronchitis. They also have mentioned they are on the autism spectrum and seems to have lots of triggers.
Since I moved in about 3 weeks ago (it’ll be 3 weeks on Saturday), they have asked us to call 911 for them four separate times.
We were asked to call last night and the night before. First two times EMTs came, calmed the situation down then left. Night before last, EMTs stayed for about an hour then took them to the ER, they discharged themselves after a few hours. Last night EMTs took them to the ER and they stayed but is home now.
I already told landlord I’d be moving out when the lease was up and a few hours ago they texted saying they would be bringing people by to see the space. I said no problem but to make sure to tell established tenant since they have been struggling and that we have had to call 911 four times in three weeks.
Landlord said something to established tenant and they are furious. I feel bad but also have no idea how to handle this situation. I want to be supportive but I also barely know this person and feel uncomfortable becoming their support system solely because I temporarily live here. They have been using my (untrained) dog as a surrogate therapy dog and it’s just…a lot for not even living here a month.
Should I have not said anything?”
21. AITJ For Moving Up My Resignation Due To Mental Health Concerns?
“I currently work at an urgent care that is run by a profit over patient company and last month something snapped in me to leave so I started looking elsewhere. I got a job at a peds office that I start in August. When I originally turned in my notice my last day of work was late July and NOBODY even acknowledged my resignation email.
Not my boss nobody. Well my anxiety at work has been through the roof that I got put on a low dose Xanax script and was advised by my psychiatrist to move up my resignation. She told me that I need to take care of myself and to not worry about things I cannot control.
So I did that.
Today the back office lead lectured me saying I am not keeping true to my word and I’m disappointing my coworkers who love and care for me. She also went on a tangent that the term senioritis which I am currently experiencing with this job doesn’t apply to me because I’ve only been with the company for a year.
I am burnt out at this job and have nothing left to give. I’m sick and tired of the profit over patient policies, the understaffing, the micromanagement, and corporate focusing more on ratings and reviews than idk employee morale. They treat my manager like the kid in Matilda that was forced to eat a whole chocolate cake in front of the class.
She manages 3 other clinics and never has a clear idea of what is going on. Plus it’s an urgent care things go from 0-100 any time (I once had 4 emergent patients walk in at the same time and only ONE back office)
Like I’m so done there is a box under my desk with all my desk accessories, supplies and figit toys that I call my rage quit box.
So if I do rage quit, I can just shove everything in that box and walk out. But I’m trying to be classy and not do that.
Am I the jerk for moving up my resignation for the sake of my mental health?”
20. AITJ For Snapping at Kids Who Were Harassing Me Due to My Sensory Issues?
“I am diagnosed with Autism, and I have a bit of sensory issues.
I cannot handle loud noises and crowded places.
The issue is, one of my favorite places to go is the Dave and Busters arcade in the mall. And on 1/2 Wednesdays, it gets loud and crowded.
My partner and I go there around 9pm where things are somewhat less crowded. It isn’t our first time there despite my sensory issues.
Usually, I bring headphones or if things get too overwhelming, my partner and I wander around the empty and quiet mall before coming back to the arcade.
Well, last Wednesday, we did our norm except that there were 3 kids. They were screeching and screaming, and it overwhelmed me quickly so my partner and I just went to a quieter corner near the bar.
A few seconds later, the same kids came running and screeching without their parents, one almost knocked off my partner’s drink from the table. They lingered. So we moved again. And AGAIN the three gremlins came over. I already had those bulky noise reduction headphones on but I can still hear them.
We moved and they followed. This went on until my partner approached what seemed to be their chaperon.
My partner told him that the kids are following us around and are screeching bloody murderer. Dad said it’s an arcade and kids will be kids.
I didn’t want to argue since it’s already stressful enough, so I asked if we could just take a breather and take a stroll around the mall (9pm and it’s super empty elsewhere).
Well, the same kids came out as well and started to follow us around, and they were screaming. Like, they kept asking me what’s up with my headphones again and again. I didn’t want to answer and I ignored them. My partner told them to go away. Well, one of them screeched so loud, demanding that I tell him.
And I guess I snapped and yelled at him, “you’re an annoying and insufferable roach! Get lost.”
Well, that did it. Kids went away and one was crying. We went back to the arcade 10 minutes later, and their chaperone/one of the kid’s parent was mad at us. Security had to be called.
My partner said that those kids had it coming, but the worker, who knows us since we’re regulars there, said that I was a jerk for name calling a kid and I should’ve called security.
We went back to redeem some coupons on Thursday, and now the workers are giving us side glances.
I feel like a jerk, AITJ?”
19. AITJ For Yelling At My Sister After She Demanded To Know About My Therapy Sessions?
“My sister(19f) is a really entitled jerk. She always expects to get what she wants when she wants it.
I (15f) started going to therapy at the end of 2022. Sometimes she would drive me to my appointments so whenever she drove me back to school she kept asking what I talked about in therapy. When I said I didn’t wanna talk about it and it was as a rough session, she would say it couldn’t be that bad so just tell me.
Whenever I refused she used the “ I have always been there for you and I pretty much raised you so just tell me” line. When my parents split she was 12 so she keeps saying “oh I raised you” which isn’t true btw.
Well after one therapy session that my grandma drove me to, I wasn’t feeling well so she drove me home.
I found my sister in the kitchen making food. I tried going to my room but my sister called me to the kitchen. She asked what we talked about in therapy yet again and I said I really don’t feel good and I don’t have to talk to you about it. She didn’t like that answer.
She started yelling at me and when I started crying she told me just to tell her. I blew up on her and called her out for the way she was acting and the way she treated people. I said she was an entitled jerk that always got what she wanted. She threatened to go no contact with me and started telling me I wasn’t good enough and the only way I’d go anywhere I’m life was with her help.
So I stormed to my room and slammed the door. I later heard her crying…she came into my room and tried apologizing but I wouldn’t accept it. Am I the jerk for yelling at her and saying some of the things I did?
Edit
We had ended up making up after a while.
We were good for a week then she decided that she was gonna start a bs argument because I didn’t do the dishes and how my stepmom and dad got mad because the dishes weren’t done. They told her to do them but she expected me to. She has also once again threatened to go no contact with me because I would do the things that she was told to do.”
18. AITJ For Yelling at My Aunt After She Threw Away My Medication?
“I(f17) have been living with my grandma for as long as I can remember. A month ago I moved in with my aunt.
I have bipolar and depression, and take meds daily. My aunt is completely against medication, saying it’s the cause to a substance addiction.
A week ago my nurse dropped off my medication, giving me six months worth.
My aunt was upset, asking why I needed all that meds, I explained to her why and she just scoffed, I thought that was the end of it. I put my medication in my cupboard, hoping to sort it out once my aunt wasn’t in the house.
Yesterday I was hanging out by a friend’s house, when I got home, my room was completely messed up and my medication was gone.
I looked everywhere but it didn’t turn up. I asked my aunt and she said she threw it away! I was furious and told her to get it back. She said no and that “substances are the cause of evil, you would be swallowing your life away especially with six months worth of medication.” I was so upset.
I yelled at her, telling her not to touch my stuff and that she had no right to throw away MY medication she started calling me a addict in the making and told me I’m disrespectful (I only take 2 tablets a day and I never disrespected her until that moment)
I just left, packed a bag to stay at a friend’s house because I did not feel safe with my aunt anymore.
Most of the family has been backing her up, telling me I overreacted and that I can just get new medication.
But my medication that she threw away had no replacement because I got it for free and I would have to pay hundreds just to get a replacement.
My friend is the only one supporting me right now.
I don’t know what to do. AITJ?”
17. AITJ For Refusing To Attend Family Vacation Planned On My Daughter's Birthday?
“My sister bought a vacation house that was presented as a gift for the family to use. Since then she’s moved into the house, choosing to work from home there. To me it’s no longer a vacation house but her home and that means visiting family not vacationing.
We have a lot to coordinate with kids schools and work schedules. Whenever we find a time to go it ends up not being a vacation and basically my sisters show. My sister earns a lot more than the rest of my siblings and since it is her house, we end up doing what she wants to do and eating where she wants to.
Now she’s extremely generous and I love her dearly it’s just that while there it’s not really a vacation. We cook, clean, and some even work.
Unlike my siblings I don’t work from home so when I take time off work to go on vacation I actually want to go on vacation.
My husband took a new job a couple of years ago and his schedule became more restrictive so we have been unable to go on these family trips. It’s honestly been amazing. We have traveled to new places, relaxed, enjoyed ourselves, and just overall been happier.
Now the problem – this year everyone has been trying to plan a trip but our schedules are not lining up.
My other siblings got together and decided on a time to go (leaving me out of the conversation). The problem is they planned it at my daughters birthday. They know we always take off work and take her on a trip to celebrate. Before anyone comes at me – she hates parties and it was her idea.
She gets to choose the location and what we are going to do.
They announced their plan at a family dinner and our parents were so happy. I was too shocked and stunned at the audacity to say much. Here’s where I might be a Jerk. I put my fork down, smiled, and said “I hope you enjoy celebrating my daughters birthday without us, we already have plans.” I then picked my fork up and continued eating while the table was open mouthed around me.
I think even my husband was shocked but he just smiled and continued eating too.
My parents later told me that I hurt my siblings feelings for ruining their surprise. I told them it wouldn’t have been ruined if they had bothered to ask me or include me on the plan making. My siblings are calling me a Jerk for not appreciating the great gift our sister gave us and not respecting her schedule.
So AITJ for not wanting to “vacation” with my family?
Edit: yes, my family expects us to vacation with them. I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear. And, these trips have occurred at least yearly since I was a child. We’ve only not been able to attend recently.”
16. AITJ For Leaving My Mother's House Early Due To My SIL's Disrespectful Behavior?
“I (33f) have been dealing with constant disrespect and provocation from my SIL(40f) for years. It’s incredibly frustrating because my mom (75f), refuse to take sides, because she wants ‘family unity’.
Even my brother (44m) dismisses my SIL’s behavior as mere sarcasm, suggesting that I should learn to ignore and not take her seriously.
Four years ago, when I was living in the same city as my mom with my husband, mom invited us over for a barbecue. SIL once again crossed the line by belittling my career and questioning the value of my degree, because I work a 9-5 job.
I work really hard and take pride on my job. My husband, who was the only one who called her out on her BS, said I didn’t need to take this, and we should leave if no one cares enough to say anything. Mom took offense and said my husband was trying to divide our family.
We ended up leaving and not coming back again.
Mom used to like my husband but this changed a bit after my dad asked him to convert to their religion and he refused. I think she had hopes that if my husband converted, I would go back as well.
Few years later, we moved abroad, and the distance has done so much good my mental health.
So much that I decided to reconcile with my mom. Due to limitations, it was only this year, when I could save enough money, that I had the opportunity to travel back to my hometown. I made it clear to my mother that I would not go unless she promised not to invite my brother and SIL during my visit.
Before I left, I reminded my mother of the boundary I had set, and she assured me she’d respect it.
Surprise surprise, on the very next day after my arrival, the doorbell rang, and there stood my SIL and brother. I was so angry at my mother that I didn’t even want to hear a word.
I started packing my bags and I left to a hotel, rebooked my flight and went home a few days later.
My mother begged and called me all the time after I left, insisting for me reconcile with my brother, and urged me to let go of my grievances, insisting that I should learn to ignore my SIL’s disrespectful behavior, that I was exaggerating and making unnecessary drama.
I didn’t want to hear anything, I was mad: I spent a ton of money on flight tickets, sacrificed vacation time I could have spent with my husband….for this?!
Now, I’m overwhelmed with guilt for leaving my mother behind. She’s getting older, and I genuinely wanted to spend time with her. But I simply can’t with my brother and SIL, and I made it clear that if my mom couldn’t respect my one and only request, then it wasn’t worth sacrificing my money and vacation time for her.
My cousins are now accusing me of being rude and disrespectful for leaving early, my husband supports my decision and said my mother is guilt tripping me again.
AITJ for leaving so soon? Should I swallow my pride and endure my SIL’s behavior for the sake of my mother’s happiness?”
15. AITJ For Being Upset About Neighbor's Permanent Airbnb Camper Setup?
“I own a home in a small town in Michigan, USA. Our town has an ordinance that prohibits people living in Recreational vehicles on the property. Our neighbor has an Airbnb next to us. We’re friendly to the guests that stay, often inviting them over if we’re bbqing etc. so no issue with that.
About a month ago, the neighbor who owns the property set up a camper in the backyard with people living in it. We thought it was gonna be temporary, but it sounds like it’s gonna be there as more of a permanent fixture. He has it listed as one of his properties on Airbnb.
We’re cool with a temporary set up, but I’m not cool looking out my window every day and seeing campground trash and assorted camping equipment always in the yard, not to mention my kids play back there.
I don’t know who these folks are.
I don’t want to be the disagreeable neighbor or a Karen, it’s just not sitting well with me and it’s unsightly. We own our home in a quaint historic downtown and it just plain annoys me. My husband agrees, but is more laid back. Do I need to lighten up here?”
14. AITJ For Wanting To Legally Change My Long First Name To My Nickname?
“I (27F) have a long legal first name. I do actually love it, but I find it very annoying that no one pronounces it or spells it correctly. I am getting married at the beginning of 2024 and I will be going through the name changing process anyway to change my last name to my husband’s.
I think this would be a great opportunity to legally change my first name to the name I ALWAYS go by, which is a nickname from my legal name. No one ever calls me by my legal name. It’s literally only used on legal documents and I find it unnecessary to even have such a bulky first name.
I haven’t asked my mom (49F) yet because I honestly don’t know how she would take it since she probably spent a lot of time deciding on what my name should be, but would I be the jerk to suggest it, or go about my life with an inconvenient first name?”
13. AITJ For Not Wanting To Meet My Half-Sister Who My Estranged Father Suddenly Wants Me To Meet?
“So I am a 36-year old woman with a pretty decent career.
I live in NYC and my dad completely cut me off emotionally and financially when I was 15. Have heard from him 2x in the last 10-15 years though I stopped caring to keep track of it.
After my dad remarried and had his second set of children he did not care about me or my brother.
I grew up in projects and raised my younger brother who is autistic. He is great and I’m very proud of him.
My stepmother evidently passed away last year which I heard through the grapevine. Out of thin air my biological father is now literally harassing me every 2 weeks to meet my alleged half-sister. She has a trust fund and does not work and likely never will (again from what I have been told).
She is approx. 17/18 years old I’m not even sure honestly. Who knows maybe one day she will work but I can’t imagine we have anything in common.
AITJ for not wanting to meet this kid? Like I don’t see how there would be anything to discuss. I have no idea why my bio father is so desperate for me to meet her… but he shipped her to NY.
She is staying a hotel and I reluctantly agreed to meet her Friday. I kind of want to cancel. I just really do not see how meeting her would be positive in any way for her or me? She is also technically an adult. If she wanted to meet she could reach out to me directly, no?”
12. AITJ For Not Wanting My Dad's New Partner At My Sister's Birthday Celebration?
“My parents split up a few years ago, they weren’t very friendly at the start but they are much better now and have been in social situations together and been fine. One of my sister’s big birthdays is coming up and it’s against what she wanted, but we are doing things with my parents separately, because apparently that’s just what we need to accept now.
Ok fine whatever I get that, but the problem is my dad invited his new partner to the thing we are doing with him, without asking us first. My sister and I have both said we are not happy with this because we don’t really know her, and for my sister’s ‘big’ birthday she would prefer if it was just family.
We don’t really know her, I’ve met her once (I do like her) and my sister has never really met her. She did want my mom there as well really, but my dad said no and then my mom said no once she found out his new partner was going. She even said that we can’t take the cake because why has it got to go there with her if she can’t go.
Anyway he’s told us it’s put him in an awkward position, so he’s cancelled the whole thing and said we can just go over to where he lives tomorrow night, instead of doing what we were meant to. I’ve said I’m not going. I have always been close to my dad especially since he left, he’s never acted like this before and I’m really upset.
Overall I think the lot of them are ridiculous and immature, they can’t even act amicably for their daughter’s birthday, this is a bunch of adults in their 50s for goodness sake. AITJ?”
11. AITJ For Wanting To Leave My Niece's Filthy House During A Party?
“My niece (on my wife’s side) had her third baby’s first birthday party at her partner’s house. I had never been there before but was excited to go.
When we (wife of 15 years, me, and our 4 year old son) arrived, the house was extremely unclean. The air conditioning was not running – on a 95* Georgia summer day. There were three dogs and a cat in cages relentlessly barking. Dog mess was all over the place inside and out. The house smelled foul. I couldn’t stand to be in the house.
I hung out with my brother in law outside most of the time. Dinner was served but I couldn’t eat. My son was oblivious, playing with the other kids, but I couldn’t stop watching him, afraid he would get into something gross.
After an hour, I texted my wife “can we please go?
I’m uncomfortable.” She said no. We argued over text for a bit and told me to go home if I wanted to and she would catch a ride later. Of course I didn’t do that. I sucked it up and stayed the entire time. When we left she said I was being disrespectful to her family for wanting to go home.
She said she would never act that way at my family’s parties. She said essentially that I was being a snob and that this is just how it is at people of lower incomes houses.
Context: my wife is an immigrant and person of color who was raised in poverty. I’m a middle class white guy, so there’s that.
We have plenty of friends and family at lower income levels who we visit frequently. That sort of thing doesn’t matter to me. Even the heat at the party, which was uncomfortable, was not that big of a deal. It was the unhygienic, (IMO dangerous) conditions of the house that made me want to leave.
I just thought it was gross and didn’t want to be there, or my son to be there. I don’t care about the socioeconomic status of my friends or family, but I do expect a basic level of hygiene when I’m invited for a visit.
It doesn’t take any extra money to clean your house or keep after a pet.
But my wife is acting as I was some disrespectful, stuck up, white privileged jerk for wanting to leave.
So, am I the jerk here?”
10. AITJ For Not Setting Boundaries With My In-Laws Like My Sisters-In-Law Do?
“My husband comes from a big family. 2 girls, 5 boys. So there are 5 of us daughter in laws, ranging from me , 40f, to the youngest, 27f.
My Sister’s in law are big on boundaries. No posting babies on social media without permission, couldn’t visit newborns until mom was home, or could only stay at the hospital for an hour, stuff like that. Also no dropping in, one wants to pre-approve children’s gifts, that sort of thing. Which is good for them.
I do what they ask.
I… don’t really care about these things. Kids were on Myspace ( yes, they are that old lol) whenever MIL wanted. She lives down the road, drops in all the time, even has a key. I don’t mind. She wanted to invite 10 extra people to the wedding? Why not, she paid for the beverages and rehearsal dinner.
I really don’t care . It’s not that bad, and life is too short to argue about who brings what to Christmas dinner. It probably also has to do with the fact that my parents died when I was 18, and my siblings aren’t close. So we don’t have to split holidays, except we go to see my family every 4th of July.
So youngest SIL ( married in) had a baby 6 months ago, and apparently is getting compared to me? IDK but the other SILs ( married in) I guess get compared to me too, since they all decided to confront me at our monthly lunch, intervention style. Basically telling me I need a spine and to quit playing at being perfect….
I’m far from. I basically said jealousy isn’t a good look and if they all dislike MIL so much why would they WANT to replace me as favorite? Yeah she complains but always follows their rules. I left. My husbands older sister ( passed on the message that they don’t want to see me. She thinks it’s funny.
His other sister is basically whatever about it, she’s in college. Brothers in law are the same. So AITJ?”
9. AITJ For Calling Out a Friend Who Consistently Cancels Plans?
“I (19F) am part of a large girls social group, we meet up about once a month for big events and smaller groups of us more often. I live farther from the central area most of the girls live in so I more often see girls in my area.
There’s one girl (22F) I’ll call her Tina who lives about twenty minutes from me, we’ve made plans five times in the last two months and every time she’s cancelled, usually with less than an hour’s warning.
The last three times I even checked multiple times in the days before, asking her to please just tell me now if she was going to cancel and she always swears up and down she’s coming. I always cook or bake something and clear my schedule. I’ve passed on extra shifts at work and other social commitments for the plans we make and it really sucks when she cancels.
A bunch of us were talking in the main groupchat about next months event and Tina sent a message saying “I can’t wait! I get so lonely when I don’t see you guys” this was the day after she last canceled on me (after “promising” me the day before that she was %100 coming) so I was a little annoyed. I responded “if you stop canceling plans every time you won’t be lonely!”
Other girls in the chat really didn’t like that and one of the girls who’s very popular responded “let’s try to leave the passive aggressiveness at home from now on.”
Honestly I think I was being straight up aggressive, no passive about it. It’s frustrating to keep being canceled on like this.
I would assume she just doesn’t want to hang out but she actively reaches out to me to make these plans and when I’ve tried to straight up ask her if she doesn’t like me she’s very insistent about hanging out and being friends. I’d just really appreciate at a little heads up at least???
I don’t want things to be awkward at the next event and how I respond will really depend on if people think I’m the Jerk.”
8. AITJ For Yelling At My Daughter To Get A Job This Summer?
“I (48F) have 2 amazing daughters Hazel (19F) and Amity (16F). Hazel has been my problem child growing up, bad grades, lying, sneaking out, etc. I’ve done everything I’ve tried to make sure she led a normal and healthy life and I believe I’ve done so. But now that she’s in college she’s still up to her old ways.
Amity is completely different, amazing grades, no fights, not lying to her parents.
A few nights ago we were all driving back from the movies and I suggested to Hazel the idea of applying for a job since it’s summer and she told me she would apply for it tomorrow since it was late.
She’s told me the same excuse for weeks now and it ticked me off. I’m not proud of what I did but I went off on a stern lesson on how she needs a job.
I didn’t notice my voice was raised until she was hunkered down into her seat and crying, I asked why she was crying and she wouldn’t say anything.
I told her if she didn’t apply by tomorrow afternoon I’d cut off her funds and more things. Once we got home she locked herself in the bathroom for hours not speaking to me.
Neither of us has spoken to each other since and I haven’t apologized either. Now it’s a new day and my husband believes I was a bit rude but she needed a push or else she would have been in her room the entire summer.
AITJ for wanting my daughter to get a job and be productive this summer?”
7. AITJ For Wanting My Unemployed, 27-Year-Old Son To Pay Rent?
“My husband and I own our home so our son has lived rent free with us after finishing college but I lately think it has harmed him.
He is 27 and has never had a job..when I suggest getting a job he says he’s worried he would be stressed at work.
He always has a reason and shoots down my suggestions to work just so he gets out of the house and does something productive.
Every day after I get home from work he complains about how he doesn’t have a partner but refuses to try when his dad and I suggest getting a job, making friends through hobby groups, going outside more, socializing apps.
He spends all his time complaining how women don’t like him although he has never tried befriending or approaching a woman. He says if women were attracted to him they’d approach him and cites an example of one person he knows who doesn’t work and who doesn’t go outside who has a partner as proof that he shouldn’t need to do those things.
We are at our wits’ end and are thinking of giving him an ultimatum to pay us rent so he will get a job. AITJ? Worried he’ll just become homeless because he seems to really hate the idea of working but I am at the end of my rope.”
6. AITJ For Accusing My SIL of Using My Stuff Without My Permission?
“So, this happened about a week ago.
I (22F) went away with my husband (22M) on a romantic getaway in a town not too far away from us. When we got home I put all our leftover beverages in the fridge. I never thought of it again and I went about my day.
The next morning when I got up to make my husband breakfast all my beverages in the fridge were gone, his were there.
I approached my husband about it suggesting that I knew SIL drank them.
There has been a lot of turmoil lately with her and the rest of the family so this was not out of the ordinary. He brought it up with her and she was upset. I only had 4 drinks in the fridge. I then receive a text from her saying that I was ‘sooking’ and she would send me money for the “2 drinks” (although it was 4…) because she didn’t assume it would be ‘this big a deal.’
I admit if she would have simply asked before drinking them or shot me a text and said I drank them but I will replace them, I would not be upset. After receiving her text saying she didn’t think it was a big deal, I now wonder, AITJ for telling my husband my SIL drank all my beverages in the fridge?”
5. AITJ For Wanting to Take Back the Wii I Gifted My Ex?
“I (20F) have always loved video games. I spent most of my childhood investing hours into various games, specifically on the Wii. The games hold a lot of nostalgia for me and I still enjoy them a lot.
My ex-partner (21F) on the other hand didn’t grow up playing video games. Her first gaming console was a switch light, and she didn’t have any other games besides animal crossing, which she picked up every couple months.
She expressed interest in “reliving her video game-less childhood,” so, for Christmas I got my childhood Wii and accessories fixed and refurbished along with 20-30 games I had picked out that I thought she’d like.
I set the Wii up in our apartment.
The gift was admittedly kind of a bust. She liked a couple of the games, but never wanted to play by herself. She got bored of story progression games quickly, and even games she seemed to really enjoy she never wanted to play for more than an hour.
I was slightly confused and disappointed by this. I was shocked there wasn’t a single game she really seemed to love. Nonetheless though, I was perfectly content to play and the games alone, and often spent the hours after she went to bed playing them.
A few weeks ago, we broke up. I’ve tried to be lenient with most things, even agreeing to be the one to move out.
When packing up my stuff, I started to pack up the Wii. She saw me unplugging it and asked what I was doing. I said I was packing my stuff. That’s when she reminded that the Wii, and all the games, were a gift and therefore technically hers.
While she’s not wrong, I’m really feeling torn up about her insistence on keeping something that clearly meant so much to me.
While it’s not irreplaceable, it would cost me probably a couple hundred dollars to get everything back. I doubt it will ever be touched again if I just leave it with her.
So, WIBTJ if I just took it? I highly doubt she’d care enough to forcibly stop me. Still, it’s definitely stealing at this point.”
4. AITJ For Judging My Friend After She Left My Ill Wife Alone?
“Yesterday I had plans to take my son to a water park. I asked my friend’s wife, who is good friends with my wife, to stay with her for the day. She can’t really be alone right now because of her health.
All of these plans were made in advance.
When I got home, my wife was alone with our baby, and her friend was not there. I contacted the friend, who said that my wife cussed her out and told her to get out of her home and her life. I understand that’s a lot to put up with, but she didn’t even call to tell me she was leaving her alone.
She told me she didn’t call me because my wife is a grown woman, and everyone needs to stop coddling her.
I said that wasn’t her decision, and that I felt betrayed by what she did. She called me a disaster whose life is falling apart and that instead of passing judgement on her I should shut up and listen for once.
I didn’t mean to offend her; I was just shocked by what she did, but her extreme response makes me think I did something wrong. Was I a jerk for judging her actions?”
3. AITJ For Leaning On My Daughter For Emotional Support During My Divorce?
“My daughter (22F) and I (54F) are currently on a month long summer Europe trip. I admire my daughter a lot as she is mature & strong-willed for her age, and she gives great advice so I tend to turn to her for emotional support and get her insight.
This past spring has been super rough dealing with finding out my husband was having an emotional affair with a coworker for several months (or more). I immigrated from the Philippines to marry my husband and have been heavily financially dependent on him ever since, so I’m currently building a plan to become more independent, begin the divorce process, and hopefully move back to the Philippines.
I don’t have many other people in my life who I feel comfortable talking about this with yet.
Since this situation has been dominating my thoughts and mental wellbeing for a while, it’s difficult to avoid talking about it to my daughter while we travel together. She has her own close relationship with both my husband and I, so even though she knows my husband messed up, she still wants to preserve those relationships (though she is clearly in an uncomfortable position and is hurt by her father’s actions).
When I’ve vented about this to her over the weeks, she has kept a logical, objective perspective and supports my plans to divorce which has been tremendously helpful.
However, yesterday she snapped at me extremely angrily, expressing how this has been causing her stress and sadness. She said some hurtful things, such how I’ve been overwhelming, I need to stop being insecure, and get my stuff together without involving other people too much in my problems. She emphasized that I need to take action to make changes in my life but I honestly don’t really know where to start and I feel lost. I was hoping my daughter would help me throughout the process but now I feel bad to ever bring it up again and be irritating.
I wish she was more understanding of how hard this is for me and more grateful for all the sacrifices I’ve made for her happiness. I’m not sure if it’s fair that she now resents me when I’m going through one of the lowest points of my life. AITJ? Is it fair for me to expect my daughter to be a support figure for me during this family crisis in which my decisions will affect her?”
2. AITJ For Calling My Wife Dramatic Over Her Fear of Dogs?
“My (26M) wife (24F) and I went to see my sister on Monday. My sister’s partner was also there with his dog. Thing is, my wife is scared of dogs ever since she saw her brother get bitten when she was 6. When she saw the dog, she first refused to come in but my sister’s partner told her it was fine and she accepted to come in.
The dog was in a muzzle because apparently he’s young and likes to eat whatever.
My sister’s partner asked if we wanted to pet him, I said yes but my wife refused, I tried to encourage her to do so but she still refused. Here’s where I might be the Jerk: When she refused the 2nd time, I told her that she was being dramatic because the dog was in a muzzle so he’d be able to do nothing to her, I also added that what happened with his brother was years ago and shouldn’t affect her still.
After I said that, she got quiet and didn’t talk for the rest of the day unless my sister or her partner were directly talking to her. She still didn’t say anything on the drive back and I can tell she’s still upset with me. So, AITJ?”
1. AITJ For Asking Someone I Don't Get Along With To Leave Our Meetup Group?
“I joined a meetup group that does in-real-life activities and online ones in Discord. I met someone at one of the events. We exchanged numbers at one of the events. We would randomly text. He came off as extremely abrasive, annoying, weird, rude, and attention-seeking at events. I brought it up to him. He told me it wasn’t intentional. He still continued that behavior.
I decided to text him I’m not interested in being friends with him and told him good luck in life. He responded in a respectful manner. I didn’t see him on Discord or any in-person events for two months. Then he came out of nowhere to one of the events a month ago. Even though I am not cool with him being over there, he has been going to every event.
He won’t approach me but will join in group conversations that I am in instead of excusing himself.
We had a volleyball game yesterday. I got fed up and approached him while he was sitting on the bench. I asked him why was going to these vents. He then told me he likes to enjoy being part of this group even though we’re not friends.
I told him I am not comfortable with him in it and seeing him everywhere. He responded that he doesn’t care if I participate in activities or not and that I’m acting like I am suffering from main character syndrome.
I reported him to the head of the group but she actually sided with him.
She said he hasn’t particularly done anything wrong in the group recently. She said she can’t remove him just because I don’t want to be around him.”
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