People Speak About Their Doubts In Their "Am I The Jerk?" Stories
24. AITJ For Having My Mom Come Over For A Week?
“I’m (28F) having my mom (62) stay with me in NYC. It’s her first time ever in New York City, and it’s expensive for a week’s stay at a hotel so I said she could stay with me the whole time.
My dad (64) passed away suddenly a month ago. My mom and dad were supposed to surprise me for Thanksgiving this year since they’ve never visited me in the 4 years I’ve lived here. My mom still wants to do this despite his passing.
I have a roommate (29F) whom I’ve known since childhood and lived with for 9 years.
She also lived with my family in 2020 and when we were in between apartments. She’s family at this point.
But she’s having an issue with my mom staying at our apartment for a week. She says this is her safe space and that we would be invading it.
She yelled about it, begged me to go back to California for a week instead, and told me she did not want my mom to stay here. She’s even suggested getting a hotel instead even though she knows how expensive it is during the holidays.
I told her that my mom and dad have cared for her in their home so that’s not fair. I don’t mean to hold that against her, but now that money is tight after my dad’s expenses (who knew it was so expensive to die in America) I don’t want my mom to worry about spending on a hotel when she could stay for free with me.
Also with my dad passing, I know my mom just wants to be with me and spend as much time with me as possible since I haven’t lived in their home since I was 18. My mom wants to spend this time with me before she goes back to an empty home.
I feel bad for making my roommate feel like she can’t have her own safe space in her own home. But it’s my home too and I want to share that with my mom while she’s here. Sooo… AITJ for not being considerate of how my roommate feels?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Yes, it’s sacrifice and hardship and you lose a bit of privacy when someone stays at your house. She’s known your mom most of her life, she knows she just lost her husband, and she has housed your friend in the past.
If your friend can’t do you AND your mother a favor for ONE WEEK, she’s not the friend you claim ie ‘she’s family at this point’… nope.” dart1126
Another User Comments:
“NTJ but even though you thought you had a better relationship with your friend you’re finding out it was more one way.
Your roommate was ok with things being done for her and your parents’ hospitality but she doesn’t feel like she owes you anything. Sadly since you share an apartment and are expensed she is within her rights. I would let her know exactly how you feel and I would start looking for a new roommate if that is possible.
But either way to me, this friendship is over and hopefully she’ll never need anything from you again.” Drayden71
23. AITJ For Celebrating My Exam Results?
“I (16f) have just finished my exams called GCSE’s. For those who are unfamiliar, they are pretty important tests to mark the end of secondary school and dictate the choices for your 6th form and university subjects.
Overall, my results were pretty good and I achieved a lot of A’s alongside being permitted to take a 4th subject for my A-levels (normally only those with top marks are allowed to take 4, most people take 3).
Now it’s time to mention my bother, (18m). He has been held back a year in his college and instead of getting his final grade this year alongside me, he has just completed his mocks which is basically a practice test. I want to make it clear that my brother and I have never gotten along and there has always been some tension between us.
To celebrate my results, my parents are having a small barbecue tonight with my grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousin. Today my mother phoned my brother to invite him and he went off. He started calling me things like selfish and spoilt and is insisting he deserves a celebration too.
Now the reason he’s not getting a celebration is for a couple of reasons:
- His mocks are not his final grade just a practice for his real exams next year.
- I have completed mocks for my GCSEs over the last 2 years and I as well never got a celebration, just a well done.
I don’t have an issue with this as they aren’t my real exams and I understand why they don’t get celebrated as much.
- My brother’s 18th birthday was a month ago and my parents spent a lot of money on that for him.
- He is already in trouble with my parents after starting to take illegal stuff, smoke, and even break his partner’s window in an argument.
If it was my brother’s real exams, I could understand why he would be upset and I too would say it’s unfair however it’s not.
When I did my mocks, I didn’t get a celebration either so I don’t understand why he is attacking me over it.
My brother called me and my mother horrible things on the phone and is refusing to apologize or see reason, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You completed your exams, but your brother has not yet.
You didn’t get celebrations for your mock exams, so it is entirely fair that he did not get accolades yet either.
It seems he is embarrassed that his 16-year-old sister has achieved more sooner.
To put this in some context, my ex-husband (Ph.D. at 26 years old in the US) once said to me ‘Getting my Ph.D. mostly means I attend class and take tests well.’
I really appreciate that comment because it sheds a lot of light on how different people have different skills.
Not to put shade on your accomplishments, but think about it.
I’ve known many doctors (both medical and philosophical) who are great in their chosen field and pretty useless in other areas of life. Your brother will find his niche, but he has to get over his negative feelings.
I hope you go forth, find your niche, and have a terrific life.” Narrow-Natural7937
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your brother sounds like a loser who can’t be happy for his sister
Who celebrates mock results?! No one in the history of UK education, because they know mocks mean jack – they are there to know where the weaknesses are and how to practice exam styles.
NTJ, let him go off on one. Just enjoy your achievement!” FrostingSuper4201
22. WIBTJ If I Ask My Friend To Be More Considerate Of The People In His Wedding Party?
“One of my best friends, let’s call him Hank, is getting married next year. He and his fiance want to have a very nice wedding, the wedding of their dreams, and Hank has a history of being a big spender on things he really likes.
That being said he is pretty poor and he and his fiance have been stressed about finances recently so they set up a GoFundMe to help pay for their wedding.
Now, I don’t have any problems with that, if people want to donate so they can have their dream wedding then that’s awesome!
The thing I do have a problem with is that the cost of their dream wedding is also being forced on all of our friends.
Hank and I are part of a group of almost 10 mutual friends and he asked most of us to be his groomsmen and Best Man.
Out of the 8 of us he chose some of us are doing okay financially but most of us are living paycheck to paycheck, never able to really save any money.
Hank decided on a very specific uniform for his groomsmen. It’s not tuxedos or suits like a normal wedding, but it’s following a theme.
He picked clothes out on Amazon and wanted us all to go to the mall and buy nice full-price clothes from the retailers there.
Now rough ballpark the outfit he wants us all to wear costs almost 300 dollars. I know a lot of people are going to think that isn’t very much money, especially in regards to a wedding.
Unfortunately like I said most of us are barely able to afford rent etc without having to buy a specific outfit for Hank’s wedding that we can’t even reuse. I already have a very nice suit for weddings that I could use for free, but it doesn’t fit the theme of the wedding.
Hank and his fiance have offered to help out if anyone needs help buying anything but I don’t think he realizes this means he needs to buy 5 of us the entire uniform which is 1500 more dollars he has to spend while he is already counting on a GoFundMe to help pay for other wedding expenses.
On top of that, he didn’t even ask any of us if we would be okay with paying for these clothes.
I want to tell him that we could probably afford to buy clothes for his wedding if he let us buy things from thrift stores or even ask our family members for hand-me-downs, or maybe he should look for more reasonable options, but I’m afraid our more well off friends and Hank will tell us that it’s their dream wedding and if we can’t save 300 dollars over 8 months then we aren’t being smart enough with our money.
AITJ if I suggest he has to reconsider his options to be more considerate of his friends?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
If you can’t afford it, then you can’t afford it. HOWEVER, do not tell them their wedding is too expensive. The cost of the event is not your business.
I, personally, think they are in trouble if they need to start a GoFundMe page to pay for the event but it is their decision.
Please note that in the US, it is normal for bridesmaids to buy their dresses and groomsmen to either buy or rent their suits/tuxedos.
Just politely tell them you can’t afford it and will be bowing out. They should have enough time to find a replacement or amend their plans.” Ducky818
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I know people have dream weddings and that’s okay. But at THEIR expense not yours.
Setting up a GFM is ridiculous. I don’t think it’s fair or considerate that they expect people to fund their wedding. Next, the clothing. I think weddings are too over the top these days. I’m sure that there are alternative suit options that would still complement the theme without having to break the bank.
I would speak with him and discuss your concerns. If he refuses, kindly explain that you will not be able to afford what’s expected and remove yourself from the wedding party.” mntgrl2000
21. AITJ For Not Paying My Eye Doctor The $300 Fee?
“When I (22f) was around 18 my former eye doctor diagnosed me with glaucoma. I was told that it wasn’t common for someone my age to have it but after the tests, he prescribed me with some eye drops to take once a day.
He told me my eye pressure was around 20 to 21 (I don’t remember). After seeing my pressure not go down he prescribed me with a second eye drop to take twice a day.
I visited my eye doctor regularly and I noticed he would talk to my mom a lot about politics and the medical industry.
It got to the point where he would barely look at me and my eyes because he’d be so engrossed in their conversation. During my last visit to that doctor, he glanced at my eyes for about 3 seconds and told me my pressure was 20. He barely looked at me and that made me skeptical about my eye pressure.
In order to see my former eye doctor again we were charged $300 and since we couldn’t afford it at the time we didn’t pay it. It’s been a year and we still haven’t paid it and reminders have stopped coming in the mail.
Fast forward to the current day, I have a new eye doctor.
They were all very thorough so I felt comfortable with them. I was told my eye pressure was much lower than what my previous eye doctor told me all these years and that my short-sightedness could make it look like I had glaucoma. I was also told that one of the eye drops (the 2-a-day drops) prescribed by my old doctor could lead to high eye pressure and hurt my eyes so I was told not to take them.
We went in for a second exam and I was once again told that my eye pressure was normal and that I don’t have glaucoma. I’m really relieved but I also feel like my former eye doctor was not thorough enough and didn’t pay attention to my eyes.
I feel taken advantage of. WIBTJ for not paying the $300 fee?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ (sort of). You didn’t pay the $300 and you aren’t getting reminders so where’s the conflict (unless the nonpayment has hurt your credit rating)? Glaucoma can ‘come and go’ so it is possible that your pressures were high and are normal now.
The fact that your former eye doctor was chatty with your mom doesn’t really mean anything as far as quality of care is concerned (it might mean they were hitting on her?). It sounds like unprofessional behavior though. If you feel strongly about things make a complaint to the appropriate medical licensing agency in your jurisdiction.
Otherwise, be glad you found a new doctor you trust.” User
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. What you should consider doing is having your current eye doctor reach out to the old one about the misdiagnosis!
Then you could call the previous doctor and advise that the $300 bill should be stricken as the misdiagnosis was potentially harmful.
He is lucky you haven’t sued him for the potential mishap to your precious eyesight.” Not_really1010
20. AITJ For Threatening To Sue My Sister's Partner?
“I’ve been working for the same small retail place for the past 6 years while in high school and college. I made my way up to the manager.
My younger sister started working there a few years ago. She is now also a manager. A few months ago my sister broke up with her partner (also a manager, gotta love it…) out of the blue and moved out of our house. We really didn’t know where she was.
Turns out she’s been shacking up with our boss twice her age. This has caused so much tension it deserves a post on its own, but that’s another story.
Basically every year the managers get a dollar raise to compensate for our state’s minimum wage going up every year (basically so the managers don’t make the same as the new kids).
Well, this year my raise was only $.50. I told my sister I was going to ask for the other half (obviously from her partner, the owner). She then chuckled and said, ‘You think he has the money to pay you that?’ It was insulting, degrading, and quite frankly, a lie.
I told her that if I didn’t then I would have to try and retrieve the thousands they illegally (I’ve checked with attorneys) underpaid me as per our union contract. She flipped out and basically said, ‘You better not sue my partner’.
WIBTJ if I sued my sister’s partner?
I totally understand that this is just kinda asking for drama between my sister and me. But my position is that I never asked for any of this; I never asked to be tricked out of funds and I never asked for my sister to start going out with my boss.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your sister is reacting based on her feelings for him, not because she can see any logic in what you’re saying.
You have a legal basis to sue them, especially if they’ve been underpaying you and you can prove it.
To be honest, you didn’t even need to talk to your sister about it at all because she’s always going to be biased based on having a personal stake in it.
Talk to a lawyer or union about your options, and don’t worry about your sister, she’s only going to be concerned about herself at the end of the day, and her partner getting sued will be an inconvenience so she’d rather you take on the burden.” sarusagi
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, your sister’s partner committed wage theft and if some of it is in the union contract keep them in the loop when you sue this cheap boss they might want a piece of him too. I am guessing he is tricking you and others and spending it on your sis sounds like he is not her partner but more likely her sugar daddy.” pnwcatman420
19. WIBTJ If I Drop A Student Who's Always A No-Show?
“I’m (20F) a piano teacher for beginner students. I teach kids anywhere from 5 to 18 years old. I have one student, I’ll call him C who is in his teens, and his mom who I’ll call F. On his own C hasn’t done anything.
His mom on the other hand is very flaky. I have a ‘terms and conditions’ sheet that all of my students’ parents sign before starting lessons with me.
One of my policies is that I charge a no-show/late fee for any student who doesn’t show up past 15 minutes of the lesson start time.
I’m usually pretty lenient and I don’t charge if it’s an emergency. But F is starting to really push it. I have given what I feel like is every chance for her to bring C to his lessons on time. I’ve arranged different times of the day and different days of the week that work better for them outside of my regular business hours to accommodate their schedule.
I’ve warned her multiple times that I cannot continue to waste my time waiting for them to text me back. I always text my students the day before and the day of to make sure they can make it to the lesson.
Last week was another no-show.
F didn’t call me until 30 minutes after the lesson time saying she forgot AGAIN. So I told her I would be extra vigilant about my policy from now on since I had given so many warnings. Here I am writing this and C was supposed to be here 15 minutes ago.
Here’s where I think I might be the jerk. If I charge her for today and if I stop texting to reschedule, basically dropping C as a student, would that be too harsh? Have I given them enough warnings? I hate to do it because he’s a really talented kid, but F is wasting both of our times by not bringing him to lessons regularly for non-emergency no-shows.
So WIBTJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
If you don’t want to drop the student, maybe reorganize your payment plan. Instead of paying the day of, have them pay for the full month’s lessons at the beginning of the month. Missed lessons will be refunded if you are given 24 hours’ notice, or if you get a doctor’s note.
That way, you still get paid whether they show or not, because they’re using that time slot, whether they show or not – they took away your chance to schedule a different, paying and attending, student then.
Another thing to consider. With new students, make it a point that the first two times someone doesn’t show, you enforce your penalty charge.
That way, you establish that you are serious about it.
If you give a break the first couple of times, people conclude that breaking this policy isn’t a big deal. Especially if the first couple of violations are in the first, say, six months to a year of lessons.
You need people to know that you’re serious, if you’re making me hold this time slot for you, you’re paying for it, even if you decide not to use it.
You can still make an exception for established students with a good record of showing up.” Jazzlike_Humor3340
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You have a clear policy. I wouldn’t stop responding about rescheduling though, I would be really clear with F that it isn’t feasible to have a student to doesn’t show up or is late again and again. Let her know if circumstances change for them in the future then you can revisit it but for now, you won’t be able to have C as a student going forward.
Have a professional clean cut without burning bridges because you never know how your paths may cross in the future.” moonsherbet
You'd be amazed at how much more respectful parents and students will be of your time and schedule when they know they won't get their money back. I used this model for years with my riding students, and believe me when I tell you parents will make an extra effort to get their child to lessons so as to not forfeit the money. Good luck.
18. AITJ For Yelling At My Friend Who Called Me A Gold Digger?
“My (31F) partner (32M) and I have been together for 3 months, but have known each other for a year.
My lease is up in a few weeks and rather than renew it, we decided that we could move in together. We also are cat lovers and between the two of us, we have 3 cats. It’s getting cramped in his apartment with that many legs running around.
My partner’s father and stepmom are into property management and offered to help us buy this duplex that is being sold not far from where we live, which would be ideal. They’d be putting the cash down and we would be paying the mortgage, reimbursing them whenever we could/sold the house.
There’s a contract that has been written and verified by 2 different notaries. We just wanted to make sure that the contract was fair to everyone and that if something (split, death, etc) was to happen, no one would be screwed over or taken advantage of.
We’ve told some of our close friends and the general feeling is ‘If you’re happy, then we are happy’. Some have voiced concerns we may be going too fast (which I understand) and we thank them for their concerns, but in general, it’s been the furthest it’s gone.
There’s this one friend, let’s call her Jane, that’s been a little more… vocal… about the situation.
Ever since Jane learned that I was diagnosed with Autism recently, she has been trying to get my partner to leave me. Saying things like I can’t be a good person for him, I’m trying to take advantage of him, etc. Let it be noted that I did not file for disability and instead opted for accommodation at work, I still work full time and pay 50% of everything with my partner (we have a similar income).
But Jane has been an absolute nightmare to deal with.
My partner could see how distressed it’s been making me and decided to cut ties with Jane, but also because he was getting annoyed she told people about our plans and twisted the story to make me look bad.
Last Saturday night there was a party with some friends and Jane was there. We avoided her the best we could, while still trying to be cordial so our hosts didn’t feel the awkwardness. Jane just kept telling everyone around her that I was a gold digger, trying to screw over my partner and his parents, and that I was just taking advantage of him by faking a disability.
I finally snapped and yelled at her that she was twisting things and that I would really be happy if she could just shut up about me and move on with her life. That sent me into a meltdown and I left with my partner afterward.
Now everyone is divided. Some say I did the right thing defending myself, but others say I shouldn’t have yelled in front of everyone and that it soured the party after I left. My partner is 100% behind me and thinks it was a long time coming.
So… AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Jane has been harassing you for a while now, you reached your breaking point and it happened to be at this party. Do the people who are upset that you ‘soured’ the party have any feelings about how Jane has been souring your life?
If they don’t care about that, ditch them, and don’t worry about it anymore. And try not to be in the same place at the same time as Jane.” PrincessWordSalad
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Sounds like she’s jealous so she’s trying to do whatever to sabotage you.
Everyone has a breaking point and she reached yours, yeah it’s unfortunate that it happened during an event but Jane should’ve kept her mouth shut.” RedFlex420
17. AITJ For Walking Out Of My Mother-In-Law's Stepdaughter's Graduation Party?
“Yesterday was MIL’s stepdaughter’s graduation party. I really didn’t want to go because MIL and I have so many issues, I can’t stand her husband, and the stepdaughter is a jerk who has said to my husband ‘Haha your own mom likes me more than you’ while he was going through misery with MIL, but he wanted to go and he doesn’t get to see his family often, so I agreed.
MIL’s husband thinks he is better than us and is pretty smug about it. He likes to take shots at our parenting, though he was every other weekend Disney dad, and it makes me mad. We have tried to talk to MIL, but she gets angry and accuses us of trying to make her pick, and goes on rants about how of course her husband is more important than her family, and if we don’t like it leave.
My kids (10 and 8) are pretty picky eaters. I don’t cater to it, but I also don’t force them to eat anything. I know it drives MIL crazy despite never being asked to accommodate them. The food at the party was like fancy cookout food. They had a couple chefs there grilling, and all sorts of toppings.
One of my kids wanted a hotdog, and one a burger, no marinade, no dry rub, and no toppings except for ketchup.
MIL was pressuring them to eat stuff like blue cheese, sriracha, hot honey, just lots of stuff they wanted no part of. MIL’s husband joked that he was going to sneak jalapeños in.
I told him right there to stop. MIL ordered their food and apologized to the chef.
When they got their food MIL’s husband said he was glad his daughter was never like that. She was eating sushi and hot sauce at 3. Then he looked at my kids and said ‘Uncultured’.
I was furious. I told my kids we were going and began to walk out. MIL just rolled her eyes but her husband said I am embarrassing my kids. I snapped back that he shouldn’t brag about his daughter. He was a weekend dad and anything good about her was his ex’s doing.
We left but I could tell that my husband was sad about it. My kids look up to MIL’s husband, which scares me, but due to his career he can do no wrong in their eyes, and told me I embarrassed them and that is how ‘guys joke’.
My husband said I was rude since the party was for his stepsister, but I don’t even get that, because he hates her.”
Another User Comments:
“No no NO you are NTJ but your story is the perfect example of why we do not expose our children to people with narcissistic traits like your step FIL!
I am so sorry you guys are dealing with the fallout of this.
We teach our kids what kind of people are ‘good’ by spending time with them. So if we surround ourselves with jerks our innocent kids learn those people are safe and to be emulated.
It’s not too late OP, you can make changes now so the kiddos understand they should not accept being mocked and belittled because good people who love them would NEVER do that to them! Good luck hun.” Jovon35
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – if your husband is cool being an emotional punching bag that’s on him.
I would also limit time with FIL if he’s having such a big impact on your kids. You seem to have hard limits with them so you need to set boundaries and stop letting him run the show on this.” gurlwithdragontat2
16. AITJ For Telling A Customer To Get Out Of My Store?
“So this customer frequents my store, they come in at least once a week to buy some chips and soda.
It’s usually just before closing and he tends to take his sweet time, which infuriates me to no end, but it’s not the worst I’ve had to deal with. Until he comes in today, that is.
The customer comes in, I greet him when he comes in like I do everyone, and he goes about collecting his snacks and drinks.
Today he also brings a quarter of the long packs of Bologna we carry and asks me if I can cut 4 more. Not wanting to waste time, I asked if he wanted me to cut another bologna into quarters for him. Then he specified he wanted me to cut four slices out of the quarter and put away the rest.
Just to clarify, while the quarters are still sizable chunks of bologna, they aren’t ‘cut into more than 5 slices’ big. I found it unreasonable to cut four slices out just to leave a slice in the fridge, and I’d have to add a custom item to the till and weigh each slice to get the proper pricing, etc. So I told him that the quarter he had was as small as I was going to cut the bologna.
I don’t think I’ve ever been glared at like this man then glared at me. I was taken aback, and then he angrily told me to just give him my knife so he could do it himself. Obviously, I saw a problem with handing an angry customer a long meat carving knife and told him I wasn’t going to do that.
To my surprise the man took the bologna and, maybe a little harshly, put it back into the fridge at the back of the shop. He muttered something about not wanting to buy it then. After finishing his cleanup, minus the chips and soda, he then walked back up to the front of the store and glared at me again.
‘You’re just lazy and don’t want to work,’ he said.
I obviously got upset about that and promptly told him ‘Get out of my store and don’t come back.’ Pointing to the door he was already walking towards. He left, got in his car, and drove away.
I proceeded to start closing up shop for the night then headed home.
Those of you who may fear for my employment can breathe easy, I say ‘my store’ here literally.
After thinking it over for a while at home I can’t help but wonder if I over-reacted here?
I certainly could have handled the situation better, but I don’t respond well when people insult me or cause problems in my shop. Am I the jerk?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
Your store, your choice who comes in there.
Don’t want to put up with rude customers?
Don’t. He doesn’t have some magical right to come to your store if he wants to be a jerk about it.
No one who abuses service staff should be served, whether the staff are owners or not.” Left-Car6520
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. The whole ‘customer is always right’ thing is nonsense.
I hate managers who bend over backward to pacify every jerk who berates employees or makes unreasonable demands. People are so entitled. I’m willing to bet he also said ‘I spend a lot of money here’ and/or ‘I’m going to tell everyone I know not to shop here.'” Flat-Illustrator-548
15. AITJ For Causing Nuts To Be Banned At Work?
“I (25F) work in my country’s National Archives. And I don’t have a fixed workspace because we all rotate stations every day to do our work. Now I have two severe nut allergies. hazelnuts and peanuts – the classic ones. When I started nearly one and a half years ago, I said nothing during the Christmas days, when peanuts were presented everywhere, even in the elevator.
The big plus was, because of the masks it wasn’t that bad either for me.
So a few months ago: I was at work and had a tingle sensation under my tongue and in my throat. So logically I thought it was because of the dust from the documents, or my asthma flared up because of it.
We don’t require masks anymore, and I’m happy to ditch them. So I carried on, when I was done with my hours I took my badge and went to clock out. As I kinda leaned down to our terminal I saw crushed peanuts. I clocked out, walked all the way to the back to my supervisor, and explained it to her.
Her eyes widened. There were instances when someone gave me some chocolate and I had to spit it out in my hand (gross, but better than just eating it). So I showed her, and she picked up the mess and we discovered it was all over the hall we work in.
(We still do not know who it was)
Also, a few work friends said to ban them during the break the next day. And I was like I don’t wanna spoil the fun at Christmas. They went mad at me for even thinking that I put my safety down so people could eat them.
So I told her and said: Well if they eat them, they will touch stuff, and so it gets carried around. And the ban on peanuts was made. The hazelnuts are something else because of bought cakes and stuff. (If they buy those a few people get extra stuff for me)
Now one guy, let’s call him Mister Nice Guy (42 or 43), finds it childish that they are now only allowed to consume them outside of the whole Archive and wash their hands properly if they ate them.
Since then he has tried all, has them stored in the locker room open, and thinks I am too young to let such a rule be enforced. And how dare I not let people snack during work?
Not like we handle documents from 1600 upwards and we could destroy them with that. Now he tries to manipulate new trainees to go against it, especially as soon as Christmas comes because they are a big part of it and free snacks. And also tries to bring anyone against me because I’m the youngest and already up high within such a short span.
(Guess he’s frustrated more because of that too)
So AITJ for keeping my health a priority and upsetting one man at work, who always eats?
I think I’m not but, he brings it up so much it starts to confuse me, and makes me feel bad because here they are very important at Christmas and I don’t wanna spoil their fun.
Now I’m really about to go and tell the supervisor to lift it during Christmas and just keep taking my special pills and all that emergency stuff.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
If MrNiceGuy still tries to bring it up or enforces others to go against the rules, ask him if it’s fun for him to seriously threaten your health and if you should file a complaint to your superior right now or seek him by the police for tentative of homicide when you’re in a hospital bed…
You should tell him his childishness is not cute and that if he has an addiction to nuts, he should treat it.” BulleDeLaurierRose
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
Mr. Nice Guy is a bully and gross. I am not allergic to peanuts, but peanut shells trigger my mold allergy because they are so full of spores.
He didn’t get banned from eating peanuts because of you, but because he is gross and leaves crumbs of his food everywhere in the workspace that needs to be clean.” NeTiFe-anonymous
14. AITJ For Being Mad At My Partner For Peeing On The Floor?
“My partner ‘Elias’ and I have lived together for about a year now. We’ve been together for 2.5 years. I love him dearly, and I think we complement each other in many ways and we make a good team, enjoy each other’s company, all that.
However, in my opinion, he doesn’t have the best relationship with liquor. I wouldn’t say he is currently an addict, but he has shared with me that in years past, before we met, he considered himself a high-functioning drinking addict. As of right now, he only drinks when he comes home from work (late nights, restaurant biz) and if he’s staying home, has anywhere between 1-4 beers a night.
I hardly drink at all (1-2 drinks a month). But, when he goes out, he can have much more as he tends to drink more hard drinks.
Anyway, Saturday night after work, he went out to a bar with a work friend. I’ve been at home sick with laryngitis the last few days and he’s been really sweet in getting me stuff from the store, making me food when he can.
He’s taken really good care of me. I told him I’d likely be asleep when he got home. He texted me around 2:00 am saying ‘Quinten’ was giving him a ride home since he got too wasted (I didn’t see this ‘til morning) and that’s whatever.
I wake up the next morning (I’m an early riser), take a shower, go to our dresser, and feel our carpet is soaking wet around the dresser. My first instinct is that it’s water that Elias spilled, but that didn’t seem plausible, so I go down to sniff it, and it’s pee!
We don’t have any pets, and I know for sure it wasn’t me. So I woke him up and asked him if he peed on the floor last night. At first, he’s in denial and tries to convince me it’s not pee.
I have him sniff it and he agrees, it’s pee. But then he’s like, ‘Well my pants aren’t wet, I didn’t wet the bed.’ I’m just so shocked and in disbelief, that I walk away and just ask him to clean it up.
He does, begrudgingly, but then hours later I go back to the dresser and it’s still wet and still smells like pee. He did a poor job of cleaning up, and now our bedroom smells like urine.
I just spend my day out in the living room and then go to sleep while some incense burns.
I tried to talk about it with him this morning, but he got all defensive and said that I’m trying to prohibit him from having fun and that he’s had a rough week. (Which is true, his brother relapsed on the 4th of July and it’s been rough).
And that he’s also been really nice while I’ve been sick, implying that his taking care of me should cancel out the fact that he peed on the floor…
I dunno, maybe I’m just being extra sensitive ‘cause I’m sick. I’m not asking him to quit drinking, but clearly, he cannot handle high quantities of liquor if he’s peeing on our rented floor like a dog.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
I know being wasted can make you do some weird things, but peeing on the floor? Even if it was a complete accident, and he just couldn’t hold it long enough to get to the bathroom, the least he could do was clean it up without complaining…
You’re not being extra-sensitive; if he can’t even make it to the bathroom, and refuses to clean up his… messes, it might be time to cut back on the drinking.” WolfGoddess77
Another User Comments:
“NTJ – you have every right to be upset, I’d be concerned if you weren’t.
What if he peed on important documents or cherished photos?
It’s a little concerning though with him getting defensive and claiming you’re a ‘fun killer’. Having a rough time doesn’t mean you get to be wasted and a fool and have a pass for peeing on the floor and neither does being nice to you while you’re sick.
I hope this is not a normal occurrence.” jasmin1279
13. AITJ For Locking The Doors And Not Letting My Family In?
“I (F 15) have a rocky relationship with some of my family. My father is and has always been awful. I’m talking ‘You’re a disgrace, I wish you weren’t here’.
However, he really only says it to me and not my siblings. (I have depression, I don’t get yelled at for sneaking out, etc. He yells at me when I’m not happy enough). I’m pretty much the punching bag of the family.
Anyway, he had another one of his uncontrollable screaming fits last week, calling me a jerk and a disgrace (I got him the wrong flavor of coffee) and I’ve been trying to avoid him since. So we weren’t on the best terms.
Today, my sister (F 18) apparently ‘tried to’ wake me up to go to the beach with everyone, but I ‘wouldn’t wake up,’ as if it’s something I chose to do.
I’m not even really a deep sleeper. So, they (Dad and all my siblings) all went to the beach 4 hours away without me, leaving me alone all day. It’s not unusual to not see many people throughout the day for me these days, but after hours I was getting curious.
I check the driveway and both the cars are gone. I called my dad and asked where everyone was, he said they were at the beach. I started crying and yelling at him, asking how could they leave me at home alone. He hung up on me.
I called again and my sister answered telling me to shut up and leave them alone. It got to 95 degrees today around my house. I locked all the doors (big house, so like 6 doors) and shut all the blinds.
When they came back hours later (came home early after I screamed at them), they were banging on the doors and spam-calling the home phone (I blocked them all from my cellphone).
After 30 minutes, I guess my dad forced a door open. They’re angry, saying I can’t do that, but I told them now they know how it feels to be left out. AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“Wow. I am very sorry that you are the ‘punching bag’, that you were left behind, and from your story, I am not surprised that you are depressed. Please reach out to get some therapy to deal with the trauma that you face.
I wish that I could give you a hug and help you deal with your dysfunctional family. I come from personal experience and a place of love. At 15, I would have done the same thing. You are NTJ.” Charming_Sandwich_53
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. What you are describing is abusive.
Your father is verbally abusing you and he’s gotten your siblings to do this as well. Please know you have value and you matter, don’t let this appalling behavior make you doubt yourself. Please tell a school counselor or children’s services (if you have that where you live) what’s happening to you.
You deserve better.” PilotEnvironmental46
12. AITJ For Not Being Able To Go To My Friend's Wedding Anymore?
“My (26F) good friend since college, let’s call her ‘Darby’ (28F), has been planning her wedding with her fiancé, Hank (29M), for a while. The wedding was supposed to be in September. I’m a bridesmaid— or I WAS one.
So the thing about her is she is a little obsessive about this one Broadway show. She found out about it a couple of years ago, and she’s seen it over 30 times since. She says it ‘changed her life’. She’s always going down to NYC to see it.
Maybe it’s gotten a little worse with the wedding planning stress.
Darby wanted to go DIY on a lot of the stuff (they’re having the wedding at an orchard that’s a little out-of-the-way) and I think it’s because on some level she doesn’t trust anybody to get it right.
That’s how she’s always been, even thinking back to group projects in college.
In June, Darby called me crying so hard that I honestly thought something happened to Hank. Then she said they announced that The Show would be ending in September — and the same day as her wedding.
You probably know where this is going. She feels she has to go down to the city to see the final show, no matter what.
Surprisingly, the venue was willing to switch to a weekend in October. Darby’s uncle has some connections to the orchard and was apparently able to pull some strings.
Since the family lives locally and is doing the cooking, Darby claims everyone is ‘flexible’ and that nobody has a problem with it but me. (I moved across the country last year for work so it’s a hike for me.)
They tried telling people (teachers, friends, etc) that Hank had to get knee surgery that day but word trickled out.
Unfortunately for me, my work is pretty short-staffed and I have to put in for time off months and months ahead of time. (which Darby doesn’t believe me.) And one of my coworkers is actually getting married that same weekend. My boss practically laughed me out of the room when I told her about this.
When I told Darby the news, she flipped. She said that I should’ve told my boss a white lie and that it’s ‘like I didn’t even pretend to try to make this work’, which really stung.
She wasn’t answering my calls for weeks—and then somewhere down the line, she started calling me and I haven’t been answering her.
One friend in our circle says the outcome would have been different if I hadn’t told my boss why Darby was switching wedding dates, and that it’s obvious to everyone that subconsciously I didn’t want to come. And that hurt a lot.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ, what kind of next-level entitlement is that friend on? Taking off PTO that’s been planned in advance is always tricky when you have to change PTO days. If she can’t understand the inconvenience she’s making for you – her best friend – then she’s just not a friend.
I’m also calling total nonsense on her saying ‘Everyone is okay with the date change.’ Plus she flat-out lied about her fiancé having knee surgery. Who does that?! Knee surgeries are like one of the most invasive surgeries with an extended recovery time.
Your friend is a jerk – point blank.” MangoObsessed
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
You were available for the original date that had been set. You have to work on the date the wedding got switched to. The bride made her choice and so she has to deal with any sort of problems from it, not you.
If she guilt trips you – then she wasn’t very supportive of a friend in the first place. Let people think what they want to think. You have a job and that’s how you pay your bills – by working that job. Your job is important to you, just as this play is important to her.” Dry_Dragonfruit_4191
11. AITJ For Enjoying Watching My Baby Daddy Struggle To Take Care Of Our Baby?
“My baby (let’s call them T) is almost 1 year old and his father stopped being in his life for almost the last 6 months. He also has not paid any child support or provided for baby T. After taking him to court he requested visitation (first tried to get it so he can take baby T on his own) that is monitored by me in public.
He is the type that portrays himself as a great father on social media when in reality he was barely around to care for his child so there is a lot of resentment there. He also was sure to post baby T after visiting and not seeing them for 6 months onto social media.
It was my baby’s dad’s first time seeing T in 6 months and T did not want to go to him and would cry anytime being held by him. How I see it is that visitation is for him to hang out with his child, not for him to sit there and watch me as I hold and care for baby T.
I gave my baby to him and basically said figure it out as he stood up and tried to get T to stop crying while there were a lot of people out in public. He couldn’t get T to stop crying and it broke my heart to have to watch T cry so much as the only time T has cried that much is always with dad.
I never let the crying go for longer than 10 minutes, but every time he would bring T back to me because he couldn’t get the crying to stop.
As bad as it sounds, I honestly had some satisfaction watching him trying and failing to comfort my baby and for T to only want me.
I could tell he was getting embarrassed and would always bring Baby T back because he couldn’t do it. He even cut his visitation short.
Am I the jerk for enjoying watching him struggle and give up every time?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ for feeling some joy in watching the struggle.
We’re all human and our feelings are valid.
Most courts don’t allow visitation if the parent is behind on child support. There might also be monitored visitation that you don’t have to participate in (which would also let a third party see how he parents).
Does it suck to have your baby cry for 10 minutes? Yes, but I don’t know if you taking the child every time he cried wouldn’t have taught the child crying=mommy. Infants are smarter than most people think.
It sounds like your ex doesn’t want anything to do with the child unless they are a happy, easy baby.” debdnow
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Firstly your ex was granted visitation. If you always moved to get your child away from him so you could calm them down yourself your ex could have a case for you interfering with his bonding time (yes, speaking from experience).
Also, you may be a mother now, but you don’t have to be above all base human emotions, no matter what society tells you. Your ex is a deadbeat and a hypocrite. You’re justified in being a little spiteful, as long as you don’t hurt your kid with your actions.” Serious-Yellow8163
10. AITJ For Not Telling My Best Friend Her Significant Other Almost Broke Up With Her?
“So I (19F) have a best friend (19F). She has a significant other (20M), who is also a good friend of mine.
One month ago my best friend slept at her SO’s for about a month, because her parents were going through a separation.
She is extremely bossy to him and gets angry even if he is going to the gym with his best friend (my SO, 20M).
My best friend’s (let’s call her Emma) SO (let’s call him Mike) went to my house without telling Emma. I could just see in his eyes that he was hurting so badly. I asked him what was up and he said he just didn’t know what to do anymore.
He just came out of a toxic relationship of two years, half a year ago. He said he couldn’t handle her controlling him anymore, and he just wanted to go to his friends. He said he didn’t know who to talk to and he trusted me the most.
I said to him that he needed to talk to her. He said he always does, but she always makes it about herself and tries to come with something up to accuse him of.
He said maybe she should hear it from someone else. I thought he was right.
She just did not take him seriously. He said; Maybe if someone else just had a normal conversation about it with her, someone who is really direct and tells the truth, maybe it would open her eyes.
I know he was talking about me, and of course, I would do that for him.
Because he only saw that and breaking up as his last option.
We talked about it for two hours, I could see he really needed it. In the end, we had the idea to just wait one more week because then Emma would be in her own house with her mom again.
It’s now 4 weeks later and Mike said to me he doesn’t want to tell Emma anything about it, and just wait till it gets better. Since she doesn’t live with him anymore she became less bossy.
But every time Emma comes over and we talk about our relationships, she says ‘I can’t think of anything that could be wrong in my relationship’.
And I feel bad and sorry for her when I hear her say that because I’m just thinking in the back of my head ‘Girl, he almost broke up with you’. But I just can’t tell her that, I don’t want to be the person to hurt her like that and it’s not my place to say it to her.
Am I the jerk for not telling her?”
Another User Comments:
“It’s a shame that your friend is so controlling and honestly it’s not going to change if she doesn’t realize she has this issue. Maybe it’s just being young and she’ll grow out of it.
I don’t see them having a long-term future together. Moving in together will come up again if they stay together and her behavior will put him off.
No jerks here but he should really be honest with her now rather than continue to go out with her with that always in the background.” angelmakr9
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. If they want help communicating, couples therapy can be done via smartphone.
If you would have said ANYTHING, you would have lost both friends. Realize that in the end, you will lose one of them as friends when they do finally call it quits.
Your friend Emma will probably demand a battle line be drawn. Just be prepared.” Kallista20
9. AITJ For Not Acting As A True Friend?
“I (F 28) was meeting up with an old friend from college (F 29) who I hadn’t seen in almost 4 years. We send random Instagram posts to each other or funny memes maybe once or twice a month but haven’t had a full conversation in well over a year.
I don’t even know what she does for work, where she lives, who she is with etc. So much more distant acquaintance than a friend.
She messaged me saying she was in my city for vacation and asked if we could meet up for dinner and catch up on life.
I had nothing else going on and said sure, let’s catch up and I know a local place you’ll love (vegetarian restaurant because I knew in college she was and it’s good regardless). Well, work ended up being incredibly stressful (emotionally it completely drained me) and I messaged her letting her know I wasn’t feeling up to dinner but could go for quick drinks and she agreed.
We met up at 6 and did the usual light chit-chat and caught up about our lives nothing deep, nothing heavy, mostly just reminiscing about college. We were laughing and having a good time. When I noticed it was 7:20 I told her I was going to go close out, I’d cover her tab, but I wouldn’t mind chatting for a bit longer.
I got back and her demeanor had completely changed. She asked me if I had noticed she hadn’t actually touched her wine and honestly, I hadn’t, she said she was pregnant and I shouldn’t have invited her for drinks. She started raising her voice and complaining that she was looking forward to dinner but wouldn’t have time to eat and wouldn’t get to try the place I recommended and was going to take her to, that if I had this much time I could have just taken her to dinner, she was actually in town to tell her parents she was pregnant and that it was because her partner didn’t believe that the kid was his and asked for space from her for a while.
She had come out to him as asexual a few months ago and he wasn’t sure if their relationship could continue, and he accused her of ‘baby-trapping him’ and doesn’t remember them being intimate around the time the baby was conceived.
I told her I was really sorry all of that was happening and I’m sure she’s been really stressed. I think her going to her parents was a great idea and they could talk to her more about it but I’m not able to help 1.
because I’m emotionally drained from work and was heading out 2. because I know very little about her life and the things going on. She just dumped a lot of information on me, and I didn’t think I was the person she should be sharing all of this with.
She started to cry and stormed out and later sent me a message that I wasn’t a ‘true friend’ and all she wanted was someone to listen.
I think I could be the jerk because some friends are saying I should have stayed longer and been her support for a while.
Some are saying I’m not because she shouldn’t have unloaded it all on me when I was already emotionally drained and I’m not her therapist.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. As much as I don’t like to think of relationships in purely transactional terms – the truth is she hasn’t deposited enough friend time to take out this big of an emotional labor withdrawal. She’s trauma-dumping on you and you aren’t close enough to her for that to be acceptable.
You are allowed to have boundaries about your energy and time and how you spend it and you didn’t agree to be her free therapist.” bahahahahahhhaha
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
Even if she was your best friend, you wouldn’t be a jerk.
Your response was great.
You sympathized with her situation, politely explained why you were not able to help more, and bonus, you paid for her drink. She made the assumption that you were willing to be her emotional punching bag. No one is responsible for bearing the stress of another person.
Would it be helpful or nice? Yes. Are you a jerk if you say no? NOPE.” Electrical_Prior_196
8. AITJ For Wanting My Sister To Pack Her Bags And Leave?
“I (27f) am married to my high school sweetheart (27m) and we have 3 kids together. I really don’t like mentioning this, but for the sake of this story, I have to.
My husband has found a lot of recent success in his career, so we’ve been financially well off for the last 5 or so years.
My sister is 22. I’ve always considered her to be my best friend. She often babysits, and she’s currently living with us for unrelated reasons.
Having her around is a huge inconvenience. I don’t smoke or even drink, and I’ve had to ask/tell her multiple times to not smoke in the backyard. I tell her if she wants to smoke that badly she can go for a walk.
She parties all the time and comes home at like 1 or 2 am every night.
I haven’t been able to have ‘alone time’ with my husband since she moved here. Once the kids are FINALLY asleep and I start to think I’m gonna get lucky I hear her stumble in and walk upstairs.
UGH.
To make things even worse, she’s totally disrespectful. She makes inappropriate comments about my husband all the time. Every time I tell her to stop she rolls her eyes and says it’s a compliment. She’s taken my car without my permission at night, and to top it off, she takes a picture of our driveway, posts it on Snapchat, and claims our cars are hers.
(my husband and I have matching cars. He has the higher-end model but they look the exact same)
Tonight she left at 10. I was excited actually because the kids were asleep and I was hoping to have some alone time with my man if you know what I mean.
My husband likes to get his outfits ready the night before, and he noticed when we went to bed his Chanel hat was gone. I told him he probably misplaced it but he was freaking out.
My sister came home while I was sneaking a piece of chocolate downstairs.
She was wearing my husband’s hat.
I am so mad. My husband has wanted her out ever since she came but I told him I can’t turn my back on my own sister but at this point, I almost want to make her pack her bags and leave.
She’s ruining everything. I really want to ask my husband for one more baby but I know it’ll be a no if she’s around.”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ for kicking your sister out.
However, you have been a jerk to your husband.
You’ve prioritized your sister over him and your relationship. You continue to dismiss his concerns and let her steal from him. She has violated his home. You should have kicked her out a long time ago. You need to apologize to him as soon as possible and get individual and marriage counseling.
Fix this now before your marriage is permanently ruined.
You’re a jerk to your kids. She constantly disrupts their lives and puts them at risk. Their safety and well-being come first.
You’re a jerk to everyone for giving no consequences for her stealing your car.
She is possibly drinking. She will hurt or kill someone. Also, YOU will be liable.” Smiley-Canadian
Another User Comments:
“YWNBTJ. Time for your sister to grow up and start living her own life and supporting herself. When you are offered a place to stay you don’t steal cars or insult your hosts.
You abide by their rules and are grateful for a safe place to stay. Your sister is ungrateful, a thief, a liar, and rude. Stop enabling her behavior. Give her 30 days to find a place and start the eviction process. She is opening your family up to the wrong people by posting images of your cars and home.
If people think you’re well off they could rob you or worse. She does not respect you, your husband, your kids, your home and belongings, or your right to feeling safe in your own home.” ToxicDinosawr
If you're still on the fence about whether or not to boot her (?!?!?), think about this - would you tolerate this behaviour from one of your kids when they reach her age? I'd bet much that that answer is a resounding "NO!". Just because she's family, don't let her walk on you. It's clear someone has, for all of her life, but that's neither your fault nor yours to fix. People like this often have to hit rock bottom before they wise up. Good luck.
7. AITJ For Leaving For Work Without My Sister?
“I (f 19) work at the same place as my sister (f 17).
Context: On Wednesdays, we both start at the same time. As I can drive, I take us both to work and our dad picks her up when she finishes (she does a shorter shift than me). We both start at 4 pm on Wednesdays and it takes roughly 15-20 minutes to drive there.
Well, yesterday (Wednesday) my sister has recently started college again and got the bus back from there. Her bus gets back at roughly 3:30-3:40 depending on traffic so it’s generally a bit of a rush.
My problem is, however, that she doesn’t care about her job and doesn’t care if she’s late, I, on the other hand, do, therefore when she gets back from the bus and gets ready for work in the few minutes in between she takes her time.
She never has her clothes ready and generally just plods along while I’m waiting by the front door to leave.
I’ve asked her numerous times to try and be quicker and she just ignores me and seems to just not give a care in the world.
This time I said that if she’s not ready by 15:45 I’m leaving as it takes a minimum of 15 minutes to get to work. Well sure has it she isn’t ready and I leave without her. I only do this because I know my parents are home and will be able to take her in their car so I haven’t completely stranded her altogether.
The next day (I do late evening/nights finishing at 12 am) my dad yells at me calling me selfish and pathetic that he had to take her to work instead of me. My mum also accuses me of doing this as a ‘power move’ and that I should feel guilty.
In my opinion, I know it’s a bit of an annoyance on my parents but the guilt should lie on my sister for not being ready on time instead of on me, as it’s MY job on the line, and MY money that I miss out on if I clock in late.
And just because she doesn’t care about her job doesn’t mean it should affect me?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Your sister is old enough to understand that getting to work on time is important and that her being slow affects you too. Honestly, you should never wait for her again.
If she has plenty of time to get ready but refuses to do it quickly, then it’s not your problem. Hopefully, she has this job to save up for her own car.” LeafCbear
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You told her to be ready by 3:45 PM and she wasn’t ready by then.
If traffic takes 15 minutes and you want to be on time and start at 4 PM, then it makes sense you would leave by 3:45 PM. Your dad is just upset because he had to drive her there. I wonder if your parents even understand that if you’re late you’re losing money.” Local_Curve_8566
6. AITJ For Snapping At My Mother-In-Law For Commenting On My Dietary Choices?
“I (38M) am a not-so-skinny guy. When I met my wife I was ‘really dreamy’ according to her. Let’s call her Sarah. As I’ve gained age, I’ve also gained weight. Sarah has made it very clear that she’s not happy with this.
We’ve both tried going to the gym together as buddies but it never ends up working out. Her mom (52F) is a healthy Instagram influencer. Let’s call her Margaret. I will not be disclosing her handles.
Margaret is extremely granola, and all of her content is about being healthy, working out, getting outside, and maintaining a healthy diet.
I struggle with all of those. Sarah keeps encouraging me to get out and when I do, I successfully lose some weight. But after I get back into the flow of being lazy, and playing League Of Legends all day, I gain it all back.
Sometimes, even gain a few extra pounds from my starting weight.
Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago. Margaret hosted a family dinner at a really fancy local restaurant. I was really nervous because my only nice suit did not fit great anymore. I had to be really careful with my movements to make sure my butt didn’t accidentally pop out of my pants.
When we were ordering, the majority ordered something healthy, like, let’s say a Caesar salad. I was the only one who DIDN‘T make a healthy choice. I ordered ribs with hot sauce. I ended up going for round 2. My mother-in-law, Margaret made a back-handed comment in front of the whole group about my food and dietary choices.
Nobody should judge that. That’s me, not you MADgaret. She said ‘If you want to lose weight, you should be eating a Caesar salad daily. Not 5 racks of ribs.’ This made everyone laugh, and it was completely embarrassing for me.
My wife saw me upset but didn’t even defend me.
My face began to get red along with my balding head. Out of fight or flight, I told Margaret to go screw herself and then left the table. My wife gave me a disturbing look and although we live together in an apartment, we haven’t talked since.
So, AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. She was disrespectful and mean.
Also, Imma be the devil’s advocate here. You said Sarah is not happy with the weight you gained and in a way with your lifestyle and she’s been vocal about it. Maybe Margaret knows about this or can see that her daughter is not completely fulfilled in her relationship.
Seeing you order what you did might have triggered something in her, not strictly because it was not ‘healthy’ but because she knows her daughter wants you to be healthier and here you are ordering 2 rounds of ribs. So she couldn’t help but make a comment.
Don’t get me wrong, MIL was completely out of line but unless she’s always so inconsiderate I’d say there might be something more to it. I’d add that you should focus on your relationship because not taking care of your health might really affect Sarah.
She’s been vocal about this and you’ve said yourself that you have lazy habits. Don’t underestimate how your ways and your appearance can affect your relationship. Sarah not saying anything is a hint and not the first one.” Current-Suggestion20
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here.
MIL was over the line.
Crazy how you admit you do nothing to help yourself and play video games all day, then act like you’re the victim when your wife is upset you’re letting yourself go. How dare she?!
Honestly, I think your wife is the least jerk for constantly helping you lose some weight and being frustrated that your bad habits undo it every time because you get lazy.” MonkeyDDeclan
I have a feeling that you are one of those men who resent the very idea of taking care of yourself or trying to look attractive to your partner, because you are a MAN and women exist to please men, but men should never have to go without anything they want, or take care of themselves in any way, because only women have to please other people.
5. AITJ For Not Wanting To Help My Partner's Friend With Her Car Problems Anymore?
“I’ve been in the car industry for almost a decade now.
I’ve always made the offer to help friends out with small repairs to save them some money with two expectations. 1: Don’t just sit around, watch me so you can learn something and help lend a hand. And 2: Make it worth my time, even if it’s just buying me lunch or a case of beer.
I won’t charge them by the hour or anything, so it’s up to them how they want to say thanks (I understand money can be tight).
Recently my partner’s friend wanted me to fix a couple of things on her car. The first time was just replacing some light bulbs.
I told her to go to the store and get the bulbs she needed and meet at my shop. She said she didn’t know what bulbs she needed, so I told her an employee at the store would be able to help. My partner and her friend got to my shop and they didn’t have the bulbs even after I said an employee would get them for her.
They then expected me to drive them in my truck to the store so they could get the bulbs. After we got back and I replaced the bulbs, she said thanks and drove off. Didn’t offer me gas money for driving to the store, didn’t offer to pay me in any way for replacing them, nothing.
About a month later, she wanted her oil changed, but this time she did actually want to learn how to do it herself. This time she did get the oil and filter on her own after I was visibly upset last time that they didn’t have the bulbs and I had to drive them to go get them.
So I showed her how to do it, I explained the process, and we got her oil changed. Afterward, she and my partner got in her car, friend said thanks and said they were going to get McDonald’s and they drove off. Again, no offer to throw me some cash, didn’t even ask if I wanted a simple burger from McDonald’s, and just acted like this was my charity work.
I even texted to ask if they were getting me anything and they said no because it would be cold by the time I got it.
After this happened, I expressed to my partner that I was done working on friends’ cars. I don’t appreciate the greed that this girl showed and the audacity of her to assume I was doing it for free really upset me.
My partner said I was being a jerk towards her friend and that her friend thinks I hate her. She said her friend is very appreciative of me helping her, but that’s not the point. The point is if she expressed to me that she’s appreciative BUT doesn’t have any money to pay me, that’s fine.
She at least shows that she would if she could.
I’m not expecting her to hand me her full month’s salary, but even $10 or some fast food is the least she can do for me taking time out of my day and using my tools and my shop to help her out.
I have a shop full of paying customers’ cars that I could’ve been working on instead of wasting my time for nothing. Is it fair to her and the rest of my friends to take my offer away just because of how she acted?”
Another User Comments:
“NTJ
People often take advantage of friends’ expertise. Cars are your job, so people want you to help them for free. You don’t have to do that. Start by telling people no when they ask. Or, tell them that you will work on their car for your standard rate and on an appointment basis during your work hours.” User
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. However, did you say this upfront? None of your friends or your partner’s friends would be offended if you said ‘Yeah I’ll be happy to do it WITH you. All I ask is for a token of appreciation like a case of beer or dinner.’ Anyone who has never paid for car work will be so happy but thinking people know it automatically is setting yourself up for disappointment.
I’m sure there are things your partner does for you that you never thank her for but she would appreciate it, wouldn’t you like her to say ‘I love cooking for you but I like to hear your verbal appreciation when I do.’ To her, you went from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds when it’s been building in you.” Chuckinbuck22
4. WIBTJ If I Let My Friend Know About Her Husband's Inappropriate Behavior Towards Me?
“I (23F) was living with them for a year sharing a unit. (Husband (K, 33M), wife (A, 32F), and daughter (P, 8F)).
They are pretty friendly people and the lady considers me as her sister. P calls me her aunt and she’s such a sweetheart. I have bonded with her a lot more than I ever thought I would.
So in 2020, K used to work from home and A worked in a supermarket.
She doesn’t drive and K used to drop her. I worked nearby so I didn’t need travelling time and I would be home most of the time as well. During this time I noticed that K was trying to indirectly flirt with me whenever I was home.
It got to the point that I was even scared to ask for help. I thought I was being paranoid since K is always a laughing, energetic, and cheerful person. He’s friendly to everyone and talks a lot. But he was being touchy towards me like wanting to hold hands, doing high-fives for no reason, and stroking my head ‘jokingly’.
He would leave P with me early in the morning when he had to drop A and be back within 15 minutes only to stare at me and P sleeping peacefully on the bed.
One day he even tried to lie down next to P on the same bed saying ‘Such cute family time’.
I was stunned and I got up abruptly and told him he was not sleeping there. I demanded he get out of my room and he did but he called me rude as he left.
Not just this, A is also a sweet lady and is very calm and content.
Doesn’t argue with anyone and K seems to be afraid of her. Honestly, A is pretty, elegant, and amazing. And K doesn’t deserve her from any angle. K is very decent around A and looks like he won’t even look towards other girls.
But when she’s not around, he starts his behavior to the point that P even saw him sway me around in the kitchen. It was sudden and he came from behind and I didn’t notice. I was horrified by this and I shouted at him to stay away from me.
P was upset and she started crying. We knew she was gonna tell Mom and K comforted her saying that we were just playing around. I said I wouldn’t tolerate this behavior and not to do it anymore.
When they went on holiday, he kept texting me inappropriate texts saying that he missed me and they all missed me.
He said that he couldn’t wait to get back home to see me again with some heart emojis. He even asked if I felt alone that he wasn’t home. I didn’t respond to any of his texts and kept screenshots in case he deleted them.
I have more than 50 screenshots.
When they got back I was eagerly waiting for A to tell her about K’s behavior. But P entered first and hugged me saying they had such great family time and was hoping for another one soon. That was when I realized that her life would be ruined if I did anything that would tear their family apart.
I didn’t say anything and moved away thinking that this would end but K has been constantly texting me saying that the only joy of his life has gone and that he misses me and wants to come visit me. I don’t respond but this has been a big stress.
Should I let A know about this?”
Another User Comments:
“You wouldn’t be ruining their life, hubby made that choice. It would be a wake-up call to her because if it wasn’t you (you’re honestly easy prey since he’s around you all the time and could chip away at you slowly till you give in) then it would be someone else.
I’m sorry it’s at this point but she needs to know, now, before he attempts to take it any farther, he has already proven he can’t respect your boundaries and has been slowly pushing them farther and farther. I could see him passing the final line when you’re alone.
NTJ, get help, get out, be safe.” Mlady_gemstone
Another User Comments:
“This is a tough one. I would say NTJ for bringing this to A’s attention. Think about it from her perspective… would you want to know? Also, with P in the picture, I definitely see how you would be hesitant to bring it up.
That being said, P deserves a loving and committed example of a romantic relationship in her life and by the sounds of it, that is not what K and A have (whether A knows about all of this or not). I would also like to say that if you do decide to tell A, that what happens as a result of it is NOT YOUR FAULT.
You are not the one responsible for putting a strain on their family dynamic. That responsibility lies 100% on K. And who knows… if you don’t say anything, who is to say that K won’t do the same thing with someone else? If I were you, I would tell A everything.” Cxaxd
3. WIBTJ If I Delete My Brother-In-Law's Gaming Account?
“So my father-in-law passed away about 3 weeks ago, and we found out that his NEET (not in education, employment, or training) son (who recently turned 18) stole over £100 from his account, which he spent on Roblox and FIFA.
His mum decided to give us all of his devices and that he must start earning money. His mum is simply too overwhelmed to contact the police and kick him out of the house, which is what I suggested.
We registered his death yesterday and following this went to the bank, to find that in the last month, he has actually spent over £1300 on different websites to buy FIFA coins and Robux leaving his account with roughly £16.
The bank account has now been frozen and his mum’s account is now blocked from making online purchases. Since having his devices taken away another hundred or so for the same websites which he absolutely insists wasn’t him. I’m working to delete all of the PayPal accounts (there are MANY).
The devices were bought for him with his parents’ money, not his own since he has never earned a penny in his life.
We also found out that she has been left with thousands of pounds of debt and at present can’t afford a funeral.
His attitude about all of this has been horrible, all he cares about is getting his PlayStation back and playing FIFA. He is aware of the money situation and keeps lying through his teeth about things until he is caught, he doesn’t believe he should be getting punished whatsoever.
He has been treating his mum with absolute contempt over all of this, and constantly hassling her to get his devices back. He has been talking about how grief-stricken he is all whilst plundering his dead father’s (and grieving mother’s) bank accounts.
I’m in the process of deleting his Roblox account, which he has spent over £400 on in the last 30 days.
He account shares with people he meets over Discord and gloats about how many Robux he has, even giving away hundreds of them for various events. All with stolen money which we can’t get back.
Today we called to ask him if he called the job center, which he hadn’t, and he basically told us that what we were doing was unfair, that he spent the whole day playing FIFA anyway, and that we can’t delete his account.
All with a smug and snarky tone almost as if he was challenging us. Actually, we can.
My wife isn’t sure and he doesn’t even think he should even be disciplined, his mum is overwhelmed and doesn’t know what to think. I understand that he’s grieving too but the thefts occurred before he died so I’m not even sure that’s relevant.
Even I feel conflicted about it.
WIBTJ if I delete either his FIFA or entire PSN account?”
Another User Comments:
“Can’t Roblox and FIFA accounts be sold? You could recoup some more money that way, right? He definitely should lose it all. Sell the electronics then he’ll stop nagging for them back.
Bragging that he can’t see about a job because he’s busy playing FIFA, and you can’t stop him is infuriating. A police report would make untangling the bank accounts easier and maybe make it possible to get some money back. He needs to get a job and pay back the stolen money to avoid that police report.
He can save up to buy his own electronics in the future once he’s paid his debts. NTJ.” Former_Matter49
Another User Comments:
“I don’t think you’d be a jerk. But is there a way rather than deleting his accounts you can just remove all payment methods?
Though with the accounts being frozen he can’t spend any more can he? I only ask because I wonder if the fact that he’s just playing FIFA all day is giving his mum some respite, and if he didn’t have that would he just be hassling her and causing her more grief?
You’re NTJ and I understand your wanting to do this though. It sounds like your BIL could do with a firm guiding hand (not physically!)” LunaMissions0504
2. AITJ For Not Paying For A Dress My Bridesmaid Destroyed?
“I (25F) am getting married. My future husband John has no siblings, one aunt, and only one first cousin (Kacy, 23F), so John asked me to include her in the wedding. I told all three bridesmaids that I’d pay for their dresses.
At the appointment, the girls picked a few dresses from the display models up front. The sales associate explained that she would go to the back and pull the ready-to-try dresses and that going up 1-2 sizes is normal for formal wear. The plan was for them to head into the changing area and when they all had a dress on they’d come out as a group to show me.
John’s mother and aunt (Kacy’s mother), pulled me to look at the bridal accessories, so this part is second-hand from my bridesmaids: The associate brought dresses into the dressing area and Kacy was irritated that she fell into the plus line, which started at size 18, both on principle and because two of the dresses apparently weren’t available in plus size to try on.
She argued and refused to try on anything above a 14, but the associate warned her not to go below a 16. Kacy has always squeezed herself into tight-fitting clothes and is very focused on (in her words) ‘unfair’ and ‘misleading’ sizing between brands, refusing to see that in reality, she’s about a size 18 or 20 (so 22 to 24 in formal wear).
While I was on the other side of the store, I saw Kacy walk quickly out and grab a dress off of a mannequin, but I didn’t think too much of it. However, the sales associate pulled me aside and told me that a $250 charge for a dress that ripped would be added to my bill since I was ‘taking care of everything.’ When I went to talk to Kacy, I found her struggling to zip a too-small dress, and the size 14 dress (the one she grabbed) was hanging up and had burst open at the side.
I told Kacy politely but firmly that I wasn’t going to pay for the damaged dress and that she would need to cover the cost herself, to which she insisted that it was my job to do it. We went back and forth unproductively as John’s mother and aunt came back over, and one of the other bridesmaids told me that the sales associate had strongly cautioned against trying smaller dresses.
Kacy attempted to start another argument about sizing and I cut her off. I told her that there was no way she was a size 14, and I didn’t care if she believed it out in the real world, but for the purposes of this trip and my wedding, I needed her to accept that.
Kacy angrily went back into her dressing room and refused to come out and her mother told me to ‘just’ pay the $250 since Kacy was still an apprentice at the hair salon and didn’t make that much money. My bridesmaids backed me up but Kacy’s aunt (and to a certain extent John’s mother) essentially said that Kacy wouldn’t be there around these dresses in the first place if it wasn’t for me.
Kacy’s mom ultimately paid for the damaged dress, but AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“No, NTJ. But Kacy is.
We all know these dresses are expensive. Put the word wedding to it and the price doubles in a heartbeat. And Kacy was warned.
Time to have a serious calm discussion with your groom.
She shouldn’t be your bridesmaid anymore, this is the first clue of many, many meltdowns, tantrums, and outbursts from her. As a bride, you need support, not having to deal with this nonsense.” DiamondHeist1970
Another User Comments:
“NTJ. There’s a difference between paying for the dresses and paying for the avoidable damage caused by Kacy’s ego getting in the way of common sense.
No, she’s not wrong about the sizing issues in the fashion industry: it’s bad enough that there are academic journal articles written about the problem. But this wasn’t the time to be making a stand on that issue, still less to the extent of damaging a dress and expecting you to pick up the tab.
Congratulations on the wedding. I hope this is the only bump in the road to the big day.” QueenGuinevereKitten
1. AITJ For Calling My Partner's Ex-Wife A Bad Mother?
“I (F 31) met Anthony (M 43) three years ago, shortly after he divorced his wife, Tammy (F 37).
After a few months, we started going out and half a year ago I moved in with him. Anthony has two children from his previous marriage (12 and 9 years old). I never longed to have children myself but they’re probably the most important thing in my partner’s life so I want to get to know them and have an active role in their lives.
Tammy hates my guts and I don’t like her either. However, I keep my opinion to myself, especially around the children because she’s their mother and I don’t want to either replace her or undermine her authority. But there’s one thing I can’t stand.
She always tries to restrict my contact with her children.
I.e. before I moved in with Anthony, if she knew I’d be with him she was making some excuses why he can’t have the children over the weekend (like saying they were ill or had school trips – but only when I had to be around).
Which was frustrating but understandable so I didn’t make a big fuss out of that and simply tried not meeting with Anthony when he had to be with his children (he deeply loves his children and whenever his wife canceled his meeting with him he was devastated).
Ever since I started living with Anthony, his ex-wife cancels his meetings with his children almost every week. It isn’t that the children don’t want to see him – his elder daughter called us on a few occasions after canceling, visibly distraught and upset that she can’t see her dad.
It got to the point where he drives to their schools or extra-curricular activities to see them for a few minutes which is sweet but we’re both afraid it will get him in trouble.
It’s obvious that she only doesn’t want ME to see the children – if I’m out of the house and she knows it, she has no problem leaving the children with Anthony.
I offered to simply leave home and visit my parents on weekends but we both know it’s a short-term solution.
Last week Tammy called as usual with her standard excuses – children are ill, she’s very sorry but Tony can’t have them over. He started crying.
I got mad and told her that either she’d show us medical proof that the kids were ill or we’d go to court. I also told her that her games are hurting the children most of us all and she’s a bad mother if she is doing something like that out of jealousy.
She called me a jerk and hung up.
Anthony is upset with me, saying we should just let it go as we can’t exactly do anything and that he is able to deal with Tammy himself. But he never does, just lets her cut him out of his children’s lives!
I’m upset and helpless seeing how not being allowed to spend time with his children slowly destroys Anthony. I don’t regret lashing out at Tammy but now I think I overstepped.
AITJ?”
Another User Comments:
“I can’t call you a jerk, I can’t.
Your frustration got the best of you. You are watching a wash, rinse, and repeat and you have had enough. We have all been there.
You did what Anthony should have been doing and that is to stop letting this controlling jerk of an ex run everyone’s lives.
She is also controlling your life. She has you making plans to not be around. No sweetie! Don’t ever capitulate to jerks like Tammy!
Without a doubt, she is using the kids, which is horrible.
You and Anthony need to have a sit down with each other about your relationship.
I think you need to ask yourself, is this relationship worth what is going on? Anthony has to sort out some things. Why is he capitulating to his ex? I would make it clear that you are done with the nonsense. This is no way to live life.
I would apologize to Anthony for laying into his ex but you had enough. You don’t want to come in between him and his kids. Since he won’t address his situation with his ex, you need to make some decisions for him. End the relationship.
It’s not worth it. Normally I would never give in to jerks like Tammy. But Anthony is not doing anything to help the situation either. I wouldn’t be surprised if the kids start resenting you because of Tammy.
Very sorry this is happening!” Shoo_B_Doo_B_Doo
Another User Comments:
“Everyone sucks here.
You need to get your nose out of his custody situation. Your beef is not with his ex, you should be mad at your partner who’d rather have a few minutes at school or extracurricular activities than actually enforce his parenting time.
You have no business joining the conversation. You aren’t going to make it better by jumping in to claim you’re going to start any legal proceedings.
Your partner sucks because rather than do his rightful role as a father, he lets this go on for months.
Moments outside school or at a child’s events is a ridiculous way to be a father and when he doesn’t legally rectify the situation, he is accepting it.
The ex seems awful but she isn’t the only jerk in the story.” wildferalfun
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